Memoirs Of An Invisible Man
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Memoirs Of An Invisible Man
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the John Carpenter movie
starring Chevy Chase. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Memoirs Of An Invisible Man. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Okay, here goes.
Okay, we're on.
You're looking at a chair
because I'm sitting in it.
My name is Nick Halloway.
I'm not sick, and I'm not crazy.
But I am invisible.
How can I make you believe this?
Okay, try this.
See? No strings.
Wait a minute.
This ought to do it for you.
I'm making this tape because in hours,
I could be dead. This is my last chance.
I've got a hell of a story to tell.
Let's get right to it.
It all started on a Tuesday in March.
Thirty-six inches packed powder?
Can you get me in the Aspen Lodge
Just a single with a king-size bed.
You never know.
Great. Thanks, Cheryl.
I'll get back to you.
Boykin asked if you saw the announcement
of the proposed Allied-Security oil merger.
Kaplan called about Magnascopics.
You've got the OPEC thing.
Staff meeting's Thursday. You haven't
begun that oil-shale analysis for Roger.
- Shall I continue?
- What oil-shale analysis?
- You are here.
- Roger. Come on in.
I've been trying to get you all afternoon.
I've spent the day on this.
I strongly recommend the company
examine oil-shale positions.
Great. Well, everything else okay, huh?
Still going out with Denise Lee?
Went out with her once.
Where you been, Rog?
You are the biggest bullshit artist
I've ever worked for.
Thank you, Cathy.
In fact, take the rest of the day off.
- I'm going to my club.
A car will be at your apartment at : .
- You promised Kaplan you'd cover for him.
- How am I gonna get through this? You go.
- You gave him your word.
- I was drunk.
- Get Moynihan to cover.
- You're committed.
What about my commitments?
My family, my relatives?
You don't have any.
The day was panning outlike any other day in my life.But what was about to happenwas gonna change it forever.The Academy Club is one of the lastprivate men's clubs in San Francisco.The place railroad tycoonsand robber barons would hang out...... eat roast beef, hire the occasional whoreand discuss how much they stole that day.I use the tennis courts.I like the bar.
No. Bad shoulder.
Put me down for a dime
on St. John's/Villanova.
I want the over on Duke/Carolina.
All right. Thanks, Buzz.
Somebody's trying to get your attention.
It's Mr. Talbot.
Don't look, Patrick.
Just pretend you don't see.
- Thanks, Patrick.
- Hi, Nick.
How's the spastic colon?
- What you doing?
- Oh, writing my resignation.
I'm gonna start a foster home
for poor kids.
Girls, mostly. Late teens, early s.
I need a family.
Yeah. Come join us.
I'm here with some of the gang.
- No, I can't tonight.
- Come on. Come on, one drink, all right?
It's just Ellen and some pals of hers.
Alice Monroe, my sister Amy's friend
from Cornell, back from Brazil.
- I've got an early morning. I can't...
- Before you bail, just have a look.
Well, maybe for a minute.
- You know everybody, don't you?
- Hi, Ellen.
- Hi, Nick.
- Oh, Alice Monroe.
I'd like you to meet Nick Halloway.
This is Alice.
- Hi, Nick.
- Nice to meet you.
- Where have you been hiding?
- Where have you been?
- You got a haircut. Looks good.
- Like this?
- Alice produces Smithsonian documentaries.
- Oh, really? I love the Smithsonian.
It's one of my favorite institutions.
So, what kind of documentaries
do you produce?
Anthropological stuff, traditional cultures,
Cosmologies, love them.
It's one of my favorite ologies.
You went to law school, and you were
practicing in Boston. What happened?
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer.
It just wasn't for me.
- It'll be Indiana/UNLV. Maybe Arkansas.
The leap into film, what did you do?
- Your firm represented someone?
- No, I quit.
I got a job as a production assistant
for a public television station.
- Next thing you know, I'm in the jungle.
- I think it's gonna be UNLV.
There's only a few places in the Amazon
that could still be considered virgin.
So, what did you miss most
when you were down there?
Hot showers, cheeseburgers.
I think Seton Hall will go all the way.
- I hate TV.
- Me too.
- I like music.
- I love jazz.
- I hate weight lifters.
- Love skiing.
- Love the ocean and the woods.
I love blond hair.
I love garlic.
- What are we doing?
- I hope it's foreplay.
- We should get back.
- Yeah. Yeah. We should get back.
Let's not do anything
cheap and meaningless.
Okay. What do I owe you?
You couldn't afford it.
- Nice to have you back.
- Thanks, George.
- See you soon.
- Making an early night, Nick?
- I thought we were having dinner.
- I promised I'd meet somebody.
- Really? Maybe I'd better drop you.
Actually, dinner's not such a great idea
with all this work I gotta do.
You like Italian? We could go to Fiorello's.
It's dark. It's quiet.
- I'd love to, but I do have to meet somebody.
- You're kidding.
- I thought you were putting them on.
Want to meet for lunch Friday
at the Brasserie?
Lunch? Let's go to Maui.
Nick, we have plenty of time.
- Am I gonna regret meeting you?
- You already do.
In a way, it was all Alice's fault.Maybe if I hadn't met her that night,and she hadn't been so beautiful...... I wouldn't have gone back to the barand drunk myself silly.The next morning, I was neverso hung-over in all my life.It is my pleasure to present the chairmanof our scientific advisory board...... and the Sidney Leavitt professorof theoretical physics at Berkeley...... Dr. Bernard Wachs.Welcome.Accustomed as we are today...
...to think of magnetism as the vector
of spins and orbits of subatomic particles...
...it is often with astonishment
that we discover how different men...
...viewed the set of phenomena that we
group together under the term "magnetism."
The Greek philosopher Thales,
as early as the sixth century B. C...
...observed the extraordinary ability
of lodestones to attract other pieces...
- returned to its original value.
A vector quantity that specifies...
...direction and magnitude
of the force in our magnetic field...
...may temporarily convert the...
- Fifteen minutes in...
...and we're not up to the birth of Christ?
Call me when he gets to the Inquisition.
Is there a men's room around here?
Yes. Just down the hall there.
- Oh, shoot!
- Thank you.
Ten minutes. Ten minutes.
I'll be as good as new.
Von Erxlebren's design breakthrough
allowed an enhanced...
Get out! Get out!
Run for it!
Is it not true, Mr. Jenkins,
that you were in Honduras...
...the same day Dr. Mendoza fell to his death
from the st floor of the Hotel Presidente?
Mr. Chairman, I was in Honduras
as a consultant...
...to the Pan-American
Democratic Relief Organization.
You're not paid by the CIA?
You were never a station chief
You weren't in Germany
two years ago...
...when a defecting chief chemist
for IG Farbin, a Dr. Hans Bodnik...
...disappeared and later fell to his death
from the Hotel Continental in Würzburg?
Would you repeat the question?
- How did those whores put me in Würzburg?
- Don't worry about that.
We got a case-red priority.
Something's happened at Magnascopics
in Santa Mira. We need you in California.
- Read this.
- What is it?
It's not what it is,
it's what it isn't.
Come on. I'm not sure if...
I don't know how long I was unconscious,and I don't remember waking up.But when I did,I was in a nightmare.Nothing around me was right.I could see pieces of the office,jagged edges of the building.Was I hallucinating?Because all laws of physicsseemed to have been suspended.Your attention, please.If you are entering the site,use caution.While the building has the appearanceof being severely damaged...... we have found no debris.No sign of a blast pattern.The building remains intact.You just can't see certain parts of it.Possibly some molecular instabilityhas made certain areas transparent.Proceed carefully. You may come in contactwith invisible surfaces.
Get some water to Decon!
All personnel,use caution entering the site.There are indications the buildingmay still be in flux.Everything inside me said,"Get out."But when I moved,I found myself floating in a dream.I walked across the room,or what was left of it.I tried to re-orient myself.What had happened?Had I died?Was I a ghost?I had to think.What was real and what wasn't?Where...? Where was my hand?I couldn't see my hand. Oh, God!What had happened to me?I needed help, but who?I had to call somebody.And then I knew.It wasn't just the building.It was me.Jesus.I walked over to the mirror.I was right. There was no reflection.My body, clothes, everything was gone.I was invisible.
I see it too.
Throw some light up there.
Hey, help me!
What's the matter with you? Help!
Jesus, can't you see me?
You, help! Right here!
Jesus, what have they done to me?
- Maybe he's dead.
- No, he's breathing.
I can see the blanket
moving up and down.
What we could do
with this freak on our team.
Talk about undercover.
The contracts we'd haul down.
First place he's going is some lab.
They'll be cutting him and shoving tubes
up his ass for years.
- Keep your mouths shut. All of you.
Wait a minute. Who are you guys?
What happened to me?
Why can't I see myself?
- Let's get him to the trailer first.
You stay back!
I'm not going anywhere till I know
who you are and what's going on.
I'm sorry. My name is David Jenkins.
May I know yours?
...I know the last few hours must have
been incredibly painful and disorienting.
We need to get you medical attention,
a complete physical workup...
I heard all about your physical workup.
I'd just as soon not have my balls
floating in a petri dish, thank you.
Don't panic. You've been through
an extraordinary trauma. You're confused.
No shit! Hey, stop that!
Stop doing that!
- I want to call my lawyer.
- Now, listen to me.
You're in a state of molecular flux.
You could be dying.
Now, if you wanna live,
you're gonna have to trust us.
- We're a team of scientists...
- I don't believe you!
Harvey, you have to understand...
...I don't have the right
to let you leave here on your own.
If something should go wrong, if anything
should happen to you, I would be responsible.
Some important decisions have to be made
about what's right for you...
...and these decisions have to be made
by qualified people.
I have to keep control
of the situation...
...for your sake and for everyone's.
I think you can understand that.
Close the gates!
Seal the area!
It's going! Take cover!
- It's gonna blow!
- Don't look at it!
I just kept running and running.I must have run miles.I have no idea.I just wanted to get away from them.
By now I was in such a state of shock,I was panicky.I couldn't remember anything,couldn't remember what happened.I forgot I was invisible.
I'll prove something to you.
You didn't say something to my face,
so I got something to say to your face.
You can't fire me.
Well, I'll fight you. You can't fire me.
I'll fire you, so come on,
to my face, say it.
So, what's up? Just say it to my face.
I'll get you two back.
You can't fire me!
I'll fire you back!
Can you take me to San Francisco?
I'm gonna need some money upfront.
Here. Here you go.
I'm gonna take a catnap. Can you wake
me up when we get to the bridge?
The first thing I had to do was callmy doctor. No, no. That was stupid.How would an internist help me?I needed a goddamn magician.
Excuse me. Is this a cab?
- Did you say something?
- Yes. Sacramento and Powell.
Hey, could you pull over here?
- Oh, God.
- Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, God.
Driver, could you take me to San Rafael,
please? I changed my mind.
I had to get into my apartment,where I could study myself...... figure out what had happened.Maybe it would wear off in a couple of days,but what if it didn't?What if I evaporated into nothing?
He may have overheard something
that made him apprehensive.
- The explosion might have frightened him.
- Anything could happen to him.
He may be dead already.
Well, I'm gonna have to take this up
with Parcells at Langley.
I don't think you want to do that.
- What do you mean?
- Show him the data. Give him anything...
...but say nothing about the man.
Let's keep this private, huh?
Now, think about it.
You say one word, it becomes the deputy
director's show and not yours anymore.
We're out of the loop.
On the other hand, if we grab him quick,
we become his control.
We're the only ones that know he exists.
The single most exotic intelligence asset
on the planet is ours...
...and ours alone.
What do you need?
- noon at an apartment in the blockof South Jefferson in Daly City.The mother said she left her sonin Murphy's care for a few hours.Murphy lived in...Felt like I hadn't eaten in a week,which is easier said than done...... when you can't evensee your own hands.Fire officials say the blazewas caused by a faulty space heater...... in the second-floor apartmenton Diego Street.The single-family unitwas being shared by eight people.The heat had been turned off for three weeksfor failure to pay a gas bill.There was an accident todayat the Magnascopics Laboratory.A spokesmanfor the nuclear regulatory agency says;"Although the laboratory was the siteof nuclear-fusion research...... there was no radioactive materialand no risk of contamination. "
- No injuries were reported.
Authorities are keeping the area cordoned offas a precaution.An Oregon man is being arraigned today oncharges he killed a man nine years ago...
- What happened?
- Where have you been?
For a moment,I thought it had all been a dream.But that didn't last.I saw the news about the fireat Magnascopics and I was worried.The food I hadn't thrown upthe night before had evaporated.I was as transparent as ever.
- Oh, shit.
- Nick. Nick.
- Sort of.
- So, what happened out there?
Cathy, I've been sick as a dog.
What's this about a fire?
You didn't go, then? You're sick?
Well, I'm sorry. Can I send you some soup?
No. No. No. I'll be fine. Just reschedule
all my appointments for Monday.
- Thanks, Cathy. Bye.
It's Roger. Where are you?Should we be long or short on Allied?The stock is going crazy.Would you call me, please?Hi, Nick. It's Alice.I'm calling to confirm our lunch on Friday.Am I being too forward about this?What am I talking about? We've alreadybeen to the ladies' room together.See you Friday.Nick. David Jenkins. Global Devices.Perhaps we met last night.We got your name from the register.There will be an inquiry...... into what happened at Magnascopicslast night. We'll need a signed statement...
I knew that voice.Who the hell did he think he was kidding?These guys were fast.
Robin, it's Nick Halloway.
Mr. Cebron's in court today,but I know he wants to talk to you.
- He does?
- Are you in trouble with the government?
- Why would I be?
- That's what Mr. Cebron asked...... but they were being real vague.Oh, can you hold on?
Robin, they're paging my flight.
- Tell him I'll call him when I get to Dallas.
- Dallas?Who the hell were these guys?How did they find me so quickly?I had to get out of there fast.The first thing I had to do was rememberwhere I put my jacket and shoes.
Keep that thing low so when I mark him,
you don't get off a headshot.
We're at the front door.
Zebra Team standing by.
- In place.
- Baker Team?
- Set up.
- You've got a green light.
- Let's take this asshole.
- This is Jenkins. I'm at the front door.
- Give me the status on the roof.
- No movement yet.
Come on, come on, come on.
- Is it all right to open up?
- Yes, ma'am.
May I come in to use
the phone, please?
He seemed such a nice young man,
that Mr. Halloway. Has he killed someone?
Oh, I must have slipped.
I got him.
Mr. McCaren, you all right, sir?
- What happened?
- I think something hit me.
- What was it? You sure you're okay?
- My back.
Who are you guys?
Halloway, are you there?
If you're hurt,
I'd like to help you.
Halloway, listen to me.
You can't escape.
Believe me. Wherever you go,
whoever you tell, it all comes back to me.
You must trust us, Nick. We're the only
people that can give you your life back.
We're all you have.
It's lonely, isn't it, Nick?
When you're a freak?
For hours, I wandered the streets of the city.I was a fugitive, afraid of getting caught.I kept imagining Jenkins leaping outat me from every dark corner.
As a child, when I'd dream about beinginvisible, I thought it would be so easy.I could do what I want,go where I want and take what I want.But that's the catch.No matter how hungry I was,I couldn't give myself away.
My purse! My purse!
I was starving and exhausted.Somehow, I found myselfin the alley behind my club...... and I figured it would dofor the time being.In a building this size,there would be places to hide.Finally, I formulated a plan.I'd get to this Dr. Wachs from Magnascopics,show him what had happened.And whatever he did to get me this way,I would demand he undo.
I was inside when it happened.
- I beg your pardon?
- Give me a dollar. They could be watching.
Does the word "invisible"
mean anything to you?
- Where's the professor?
- In the park, taking a stroll.
- Come on, will you? We're gonna lose him.
But this is astounding.
I never dreamed. They never told me.
Open your coat,
show me the rest.
- Trust me. It's all the same.
- Oh, dear God.
There's got to be
another psychotron, right?
Can't you just take me there
and turn me back?
I'll forget the whole thing. No lawsuits,
no recriminations. No harm, no foul.
Our research had nothing to do with
invisibility. This was a random reaction.
- Don't say this.
- What are you doing here?
You should be with me,
with us, in the lab.
We must replicate the variables,
begin to explore how this happened.
"Begin to explore"?
That's not good enough!
- You gotta help me now!
- It's gonna take time.
I don't have time! I want
my molecules back! Look at me!
- You gotta turn me back.
Oh, God. You bastards!
Would you bring me a phone,
Hi, this is Alice Monroe. I'm meeting Nickfor lunch at the Brasserie. Is he on his way?I don't have you in his bookor I would have phoned.Mr. Halloway's out sick.
- I hope it's nothing serious.
- No, it's the flu.
I'll tell him you called.
What's your number?
Yeah. It's Alice Monroe.
I guess I'll be eating alone.
Can I see a menu, please? Thanks.
I am the Sidney Leavitt professor
of theoretical physics, a member...
...of the National Academy of Science!
- Shut up!
- I'll ask again. Where is he?
- I've already told you, I don't know.
Why didn't somebody tell me
there was a man inside?
When are you planning to make
contact with him again?
Exactly under whose authority
are you operating?
I know the deputy director,
and Dick Parcells would never sanction...
...that stunt your goons pulled in the park
Now, Dr. Wachs, what were you
really doing at Magnascopics?
I find it hard to believe
that this was all simply an accident.
I am aghast at this.
There's an invisible man loose in the city.
I want to find him too...
...so, what are we doing here?
- Take off your jacket.
- Why? What are you gonna do?
Don't worry, doc.
This won't hurt you a bit.
Make a fist.
I said, make a fist.
- Let me know when he's ready.
- Why are you doing this to me?
- All I know is that he exists.
- And that's already too much.
"Never been married,
parents both deceased."
The guy's got a few friends,
but not real close to any of them.
Not exactly a workaholic either.
He kind of plays it fast and loose.
It's always difficult
with people like this.
No strong emotional ties,
no political beliefs, no particular interests.
As a matter of fact,
when you think about it...
...the man has the perfect profile.
He was invisible before he was invisible.
Look, he's not a pro. He's alone.
He's desperate. He'll crack.
Where are you hiding, Halloway?
I could only sleepout of sheer exhaustion.And when I did sleep, I would dream.Weird, crazy dreams...... about what might have beenand what I had lost.
- Oh, Nick. Hi.
- Hello, Nick.
Nick, good to see you.
Good to see you.
- Nick, you charmer.
- Right this way.
Looking for something, Nick?
It was about time I did look for something.Maybe I could turn the tables on them.Find out what they knew about my conditionand use it to my advantage.
- Who's up?
- Vinny's up. Sit down and deal.
Yeah. I owe the pot $ .
Red dog, red dog,
face of red dog.
Nothing is wild, and it starts with Vin.
Six dollars in the pot.
Pass? No pass?
Congressman Davis called
for a third time.
Singleton called from L.A. Looking for Wachs.
I said what you told me to.
If we can't find this dude
for six months...
...is he gonna keep us
operational that long?
Singleton's weak and he's unreliable,
but he knows the value of the prize.
So let's start
with surveillance reports.
- Okay, phone calls...
I often sit here like this
at the end of the day, in darkness...
...and imagine what it must be like.
Were you conscious when it happened?
Did you feel yourself change?
Did you pray?
I've been worried about you, Nick.
Is everything all right?
How long have you been here?
Long enough to learn some things about you
I might tell my friends at the Chronicle.
You don't have any friends
at the Chronicle, Nick.
Besides, we both know that
when you go to the press...
...you become the last thing
you want to be:
A circus attraction.
- Now, I told you. It all comes back to me.
You answer to people.
Maybe I'll call Washington
and talk to a guy named Singleton.
Let's say you do.
Now, what do you think you could control
the moment you make your presence known?
And if I work with you,
I suppose things would be different.
I could come and go as I please.
Put your goddamn hands on the desk!
Now get a grip on yourself, Nick.
Listen to what we're offering you.
- In exchange for what?
- For your services to your country.
You have a wider obligation now.
You can be of immeasurable value to us.
I'm not doing your spying.
Suppose we'd had you,
an invisible agent, in .
Maybe there wouldn't
have been a Second World War.
What are you saying?
You mean I would have killed Hitler for you?
I mean maybe you could have saved
million lives. Changed history.
Now, assassination, anything at all,
is entirely ethical if you're on the right side.
Now you listen to me,
you son of a bitch.
I've lost everything but my soul,
and you won't take that away from me.
Whatever I become, it'll be my choice,
not yours. Is that clear?
We're prepared to give you
anything you want, everything you need.
But you have to understand, if you
won't work with us, I can't let you live.
I don't sleep well. I can see through
my eyelids, through the top of my head.
I get walleyed!
I get bat-shit!
Don't you ever touch me again.
I'll kill him. I swear to God.
- Back off.
- Do what he says.
Contrary to what you might think,
I am not without feelings.
Oh, God. Don't you see, we're
in this together, Nick, you and I?
We're not so terribly different.
Think of the adventure
we could have together.
Yeah, we can go to Frontierland.
- See you, Dave.
- Oh, Nick...
Give me that.
I had to get out of San Francisco.Jenkins would never stop searching,and I wasn't safe at the Academy Club.He knew my patterns. It would only bea matter of time before he'd catch me there.There were hotels,but they would be more dangerous.I couldn't go back to my apartment,and I couldn't risk confiding in anyone.That's when I decidedon George's summerhouse.
Three quarts of vodka, quarts
of Scotch. Do you have any bouillon cubes?
Yeah, for soup or broth.
You know, chicken, beef, vegetable.
Well, which is clearest? Clearest.
Which is most transparent?
I'm looking for clear foods here.
No coloring. Easy to digest.
My doctor says I gotta eat
clear foods. I'm all gas.
Hold on a minute, will you?
What's that, George?
Mr. Talbot says, could you please charge it
to his account? Beachfront Lane.
Thank you very much. Yeah,
tell the kid to come in the front door.
I had to put the old Nick Hallowaybehind me.I'd create a new identity,go underground.
Get myself a secure placewhere Jenkins would never find me.I could play the marketby phone.All I needed was a name on a brokerageaccount and a couple of bucks to start with.I would become the invisible tycoon,and then...Then I would make them pay.All of them.They would rue the daythey tangled with Nick Halloway.
- Wow, George. It's beautiful.
- Yeah. Everybody needs a place to get away.
- Recharge the batteries.
- Lf you can get here.
- We got here, didn't we?
- Yeah, we did, but that traffic...
Now half the day is gone.
Get in. We'll drive
back to the city.
What are you doing here?
- Just forget it. We're here, all right?
- That's what I said.
God! The silence.
And the air out here.
It makes me think of children
and the Fourth of July.
I like it better in the wintertime.
It gets so crowded in the summer.
This is the first chance I've had to relax
since I've been back. Thanks, George.
It's so stuffy in here.
It smells like somebody had a fire.
- Subletting to someone?
- What the hell is going on?
- I haven't been here since January.
- I think we should have a look around.
Is there a gun in the house?
wearing my clothes!
- This is certainly peculiar.
Everything's here, my hidden key is missing,
and the Jacuzzi's on the timer.
All right, I don't like this.
This is making me very nervous.
Whoever it is,
they left you fully stocked.
Someone put food
in my refrigerator?
There's some nice stuff in here.
There's a bottle of Montrachet.
That's why I love Marin County.
You get a better class of burglar.
It's gotta be my brother Chuck.
He must have split up with Kathleen again.
Chuck drink this?
But I know who does.
Halloway's in trouble.
I spoke to a pencil pusher at some
government agency I never heard of.
He asked me the same
personal questions about Nick...
...the SEC did when
Charlie Randolph got busted.
There's a lot of confusion over
at Shipway & Whitman.
When a guy's been working there
years, suddenly disappears...
Roger Whitman's got auditors
looking to see if anything's missing.
Do you really think he's a thief?
Didn't strike me as the embezzler type.
Knowing Nick, he probably came here
to shack up with somebody's wife.
- Lf that's all it was, he would have called me.
- Why don't we just change the subject?
Wherever he is, I'm sure Nick would love
to know we're talking about him.
I think Halloway got
in a lot of trouble...
...came out here, got nice and loaded
and walked into the ocean one day.
Oh, come on. Nick's way too narcissistic
to kill himself.
He'll probably wash up on the shore one day
all bloated and eaten by crabs.
How can you say these things?
I thought you were Nick's friends.
I don't know.
I got a real funny vibe,
like he's dead.
Well, why don't you have
a séance, Richard.
Get out your Ouija board and call up
his spirit from the dead. I'm going to bed.
Seems to me, if he was gonna
commit suicide in my house...
...he'd have the common decency to leave
a note or clean up a little first.
Laugh, but I'd be careful mocking
what you don't understand.
Nick! Nick! If you're here with us,
Nick, give us a sign.
Jesus! You bastard!
He could have been channeling
Losing weight, Richard?
- So much for my good friends.
- Ellen, you wanna get the lights, please?
- Good night, you two.
- Well, I'm not really that tired, are you?
- Yeah. I'm exhausted.
Yeah, me too. Meet you on the beach
for a swim, bright and early?
Sure. Sleep well.
I remember feelingan enormous sense of relief...... that she didn't let himinto her room or kiss him.
Alice, are you decent?
- What is it?
- I was saving this till I sold my novel.
You're a broker, not a novelist.
Actually, I'm starting it this summer,
but I've got it all worked out in my head.
This is really sweet,
but not tonight. I'm tired.
Oh, just a short one. Come on.
I really admire what you do.
You're so unlike all the other women
I meet. You don't seem...
...caught up in the bullshit.
- Not yet anyway.
I'm really gonna have to say
There's something I haven't told you.
My wife left me three months ago.
God, I'm such a mess.
Can't work, can't sleep.
Richard, don't cry.
I'm sure it's what's best for her.
- And you.
- I need you!
I don't know what came over me.
Maybe I misunderstood the situation
I'm sorry if you thought
that we were...
- This is awkward.
- Just forget it happened.
- Don't tell anybody I cried, okay?
About the time she fell asleep,I stopped kidding myself.I was nuts about her.Why couldn't I have met her a year ago?Probably would have messed it up.
Right here. Set it down.
Quick. Hurry up.
Yeah. Got it.
- Wait a minute, George.
Just pin my arms down.
Wait a minute.
Could you just squeeze my butt?
Yeah. That's it.
Wait a minute. No, George...
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Fate was cruel.
Well, that was memorable.
Just give me minutes.
Look at the moon or something.
That night, I moved to the housedown the beach.The next day, I decided to call her.
I need to talk to you.
Who is this?
It's Nick. Nick Halloway.Remember me?
Nick Halloway. Is this a joke?
Listen, please don't tell anybody.
I'm in the gray-and-white house
down the beach.
I'll leave the door open for you.Can you come down here, please?Please, Alice.
Alice, don't be afraid.
It's me, Nick.
- Were you in an accident?
Oh, what happened?
Were you burned or something?
You want to sit down?
Where the hell did she run to?
It's been over two hours.
You never know.
Attractive girl, jogging alone.
I wouldn't worry about that, George.
She's as strong as an ox.
I will not allow you to turn this
into another fiasco.
- Like you did in Iran.
- I'm getting the job done.
I'm your section head!
I gave you this chance!
Wachs was supposed to be
in Washington two days ago.
- Where the hell is he?
- Wachs is sequestered.
I'm not convinced he's been entirely
forthcoming with us. Now calm down.
All right. When do I get him?
- When I'm convinced.
- When do I get the invisible man?
- He may be here still, but I doubt it.
- I'll get him soon. Very soon.
- I hope so. It's my ass on the line.
I won't justify these expenditures
and methods with no results!
I want him, and if I don't get him...
...you will be the next person
Perhaps a reminder of the state of things
might be in order.
I'm the one that kills people, Warren.
And if you screw up on me...
...I will cut off your testicles,
...and Morrissey here
will have them for lunch.
Nick, maybe this isn't
the right thing to do.
Running and hiding.
Maybe you should be in the hospital.
Not a chance.
They know every move I make.
Besides, there's nothing a doctor can do.
I feel normal.
I probably could use a shave,
but who's gonna notice?
For years, women have been telling me
they can see right through me. Christ!
Can I touch you?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You do need a shave.
I never realized how important it is
to be seen.
You know? Acknowledged.
You start questioning whether
you exist at all.
I guess I forgive you
for standing me up.
The last thing you want to do
is watch me eat.
So how can I help you?
Open a brokerage account and buy me
shares of a stock called Allied Resources.
- Having seconds?
- Yeah. I suddenly got hungry again.
Must have been all that running
you did this afternoon.
I'll just take this up to my room and...
I'm going to turn in early.
See you in the morning.
I can get the broker to buy stock
without you having to spend any cash.
You'll play what's called a "float."
I trade through you and stockpile money.
I cut you a check for half,
and I'm out of your life.
Were you in here last night?
You mean last night, in this room?
- Nothing would have happened, you know.
- Oh, hey, I know that.
Did you hang around afterward?
Alice, I didn't see a thing.
I had my hands over my eyes.
Of course, you can see
right through them.
Good night, George.
This has been a terrific weekend.
- I'm glad at least you got laid.
- Well, it was only Ellen.
I think you're crazy, letting her stay here.
She's a family friend.
Should I say no?
You told me you heard two voices
coming out of her room.
Suppose she's really schizo?
You're the best. This will be the perfect
place for me to get some work done.
I left the number of a good therapist.
If you feel like talking,
she's very understanding.
She's helped Richard a lot.
Good to know
Richard's getting some help.
Chuck, it's George.
Wanna hear a hot one?
Guess who broke into my house
and ran up $ ...
...on food and booze on my accounts.
No, he's not dead. He's on a binge.
- This is ridiculous.
- No, it is not.
Just let me finish.
You owe me a meal anyway.
I'm sure you have better things to do,
places to go, people to see.
First of all, I don't have
better things to do.
I'm in between projects right now...
...and I'm not seeing anybody.
That's an understatement.
It's a hell of a lot more comfortable
than that Ace bandage.
It really works.
Oh, Nick, you have a face again.
If I had eyes and teeth,
I'd be a whole head.
It's nice to see you.
It's nice to be seen again.
Do you have any body makeup?
Dropped about pounds.
Bet I'd look great naked.
Good evening. Two for dinner?
What's the matter?
Is something wrong?
Of course not, sir. Right this way.
See? Nobody's staring at you.
Whatever they think, they certainly
don't think you're invisible.
They're just seeing a beautiful blond
and a dead man.
Maybe we do have
a little more work to do.
You can go to any ball game
or movie for free.
You can look up girls' skirts,
hang around ladies' locker rooms.
- Go naked anytime you want.
- Almost have to now.
Never worry about people saying
you look older or you should lose weight.
You could have a brilliant career
as a bank robber.
Jesus, I'm screwed.
...l've been thinking.
I'm not sure me playing
the stock market...
...so you can live like a recluse
is the best solution to your problem.
You got a better idea, Alice,
believe me, I'm interested.
We could go to Washington. I know
some people who might be able to help.
You expect me to trust a politician?
No, you're right.
But I want you to trust me.
You're not alone anymore.
It's them. My clothes
are on the corner of the couch.
- Where are we going?
- Far away. Fast.
May I have your attention, please?Announcing the departureof train number seven...
- I'm here.
I got us a compartment
on the : train to San Diego.
From there, we can figure out
how to get across the border to Mexico.
That gives us about eight hours to kill.
Look, they're gonna catch me, Alice.
Just get on the train. Go.
Get away from me.
These guys are nuts.
I'd never forgive myself
if something happened to you.
I'm not scared. Whoever these guys are,
they can't control everything.
God, I can't believe I got you into this.
This is something I have to do
on my own.
...you're staring at my eyes.
I think we should get out of the rain.
What's happening to me?
Boy, how am I gonna tell my mom
All the dirty parts I'd leave out.
Just tell her you met a guy,
like him a lot...
...could be serious. He's transparent.
- Are you a Catholic?
That could be a problem.
You know something, Alice?
If you were blind,
we'd make the perfect couple.
May I have your attention, please?Now ready for departure,train number Pacific Coast...
- now leaving on track number five.
That was easy enough.
This isn't so bad.
I'm having second thoughts about Mexico.
It's just not far enough away.
With a fax and a computer,
I can trade from anywhere in the world.
You mean anywhere?
Like Paris, Rome...
Anywhere you want.
Although I was thinking of Switzerland.
A guy can get away with wearing
a ski mask all year round.
Where's the next stop?
- You asleep?
I was just daydreaming
about a New York strip steak...
...baked potato with sour cream and chives
and a hot fudge sundae.
That sounds great.
I'll go get it.
Bring back a bowl of Jell-O for you.
Get out of the way!
The current must have swept me alongfor half a mile.When I came to, I was being washedtoward a drainage pipe...... and throwing up a gallonof river water.For all you knew, I'd drowned.Your invisible man was dead.But I knew you had Alice.I was wrong to involve her inthe first place, just like I was wrong...... thinking I could run away from this.I am what I am, Jenkins.I know that now.Other people will too, unless you let her go.You let her go, I'll come in. That's the deal.
I'll say this.
Your friend Halloway
has a flair for the dramatic.
I want you to be part of our team, Alice.
He needs you. We need you.
Regardless of how it may seem, I've never
had anything but his best interest at heart.
Where do they find people like you?
It's him. He's on the phone.
I've got copies of that tapein very safe hands right now.Anything happens to Alice,they go to the networks, the papers.Use your imagination.
Alice is here. She's absolutely fine.
What do you want me to do?
I want to see her walk out of the buildingand get in a cab.
And what about you?
Look out your window at the phone boothon the corner.
Yeah, I see you.
As soon as I see her out of your buildingand in a cab, I give myself up.Try anything funny,I do a striptease in the street...... I'll guarantee will make the news.Two minutes, Jenkins, starting now.
- I presume you've seen this.
- He's outside. We're five seconds away.
- You murdered Wachs?
- He's holding me against my will.
We've won, Warren. He's ours.
We can own the agency.
You've lost it.
You don't know what you're doing.
- I'm pulling the plug. Let her go!
- As soon as we make the switch.
Just like we agreed, Nick.
- Get the cab, Tyler.
- Yes, sir.
Nick, I love you!
Take her across the bridge
or something. Go!
We had a deal, Nick.
You shouldn't have tried to run.
Hey, not so rough.
Wait a minute.
Where are we going?
The Bay Bridge.
And I love you too.
Nick. Oh, my God!
Oh, look out.
That was George in the phone booth.
I called Jenkins with this.
- You told George you were invisible?
- Of course not.
Told him you we're in trouble.
Asked him for a big favor.
God, I'm glad you're all right.
I got him.
- Are you all right?
Nick, run! Run!
I've got him crossing Seventh Street
back toward Market.
- Market Street.
- It's over!
You hear me? I'm shutting you down!
I'm shutting you down!
- He's heading south.
- Left on Fifth.
Look. What about what Singleton said?
He signs the checks.
Screw him. He's weak.
They're all weak.
Think what Halloway will fetch.
The Germans, the Japanese, the Saudis.
You'll be a rich man, Morrissey.
Oh, my God! Look at that!
What was that?
You're a natural, you know.
Cool, imaginative, elegant.
You've found your calling, Nick.
I think we can work this thing out
together, you and I. Forgive and forget.
Start again fresh, with a deeper sense
of respect for each other.
Nick, I'll kill you if I have to!
I'll commit every resource we have
to getting you back...
...to making you whole again...
...to reuniting you with Alice.
You swore you would kill me
a second ago.
I think you're losing your marbles, Dave.
Get it straight.
Bit of a tight spot, Nick.
...if I can't have you...
...no one can.
I'm tired of the game, Dave.
One step back, and it's all over.
I apologize for being rash.
It was stupid of me.
You are the most unique human being
on the planet.
You are walking history.
Don't run away from it, man.
You'll never know what it's like.
Don't. Now, don't, Nick.
Don't come any closer!
Come on, Nick.
Just give me your hand.
- No! No! No!
- Give me your hand.
Olé, you son of a bitch!
Leave it alone. You didn't see anything.
You don't know anything.
You didn't hear any of this.
Clean it up. It never happened.
- What did you lose, a contact lens?
Don't say anything.
Let's just get out of here.
- Look sad.
My department had been alerted
to Mr. Jenkins'...
...deteriorating emotional state.
Of course, none of us
ever expected a tragedy like this.
I think you can all appreciate how...
I never want to lose you.
You won't. I promise.
It's keeping track of our kids
that's got me worried.