Voila! Finally, the Midnight Cowboy
script is here for all you fans of the 1969 movie directed by John
Schlesinger starring Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Midnight Cowboy. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
[HORSE HOOVES POUNDING
AND SIX-GUNS SHOOTING]
[COWBOYS AND INDIANS
HOOTING AND HOLLERING]
[SPRING SQUEAKING]
" WHOOPATEE-AY-YO "
" GIT ALONG,
LITTLE DOGGIES "
" IT'S YOUR MISFORTUNE
AND NONE OF MY OWN "
" WHOOPATEE-AY-YO "
" GET ALONG,
LITTLE DOGGIES "
" FOR YOU KNOW
NEW YORK "
" WILL BE
YOUR NEW HOME "
" WHOOPATEE-AY-YO "
" GIT ALONG,
LITTLE DOGGIES "
" IT'S YOUR MISFORTUNE
AND NONE OF MY OWN... "
WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK?
WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK?
WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK?
" GIT ALONG,
LITTLE DOGGIES ""
WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK?
LOOK AT THIS CRAP.
YEAH, WHERE'S
THAT JOE BUCK?
WHERE'S
THAT JOE BUCK?
WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK?
YOU'RE DUE HERE AT 4:00.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO
WITH THEM DISHES.
AND IF YOU AIN'T MAN ENOUGH
TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF,
I'D BE HAPPY TO OBLIGE.
I REALLY WOULD.
" EVERYBODY'S
TALKIN' AT ME "
" I DON'T HEAR
A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' "
" ONLY THE ECHOES
OF MY MIND "
" PEOPLE
STOPPIN', STARIN' "
" I CAN'T SEE
THEIR FACES "
" ONLY THE SHADOWS
OF THEIR EYES "
" I'M GOIN' WHERE
THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' "
" THROUGH
THE POURIN' RAIN "
" GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER
SUITS MY CLOTHES "
" BANKIN' OFF
OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS "
" SAILIN' ON
A SUMMER BREEZE "
" AND SKIPPIN'
OVER THE OCEAN "
" LIKE A STONE "
" WAAH WAAH
WAAH-WAAH WAAH "
" WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH "
" WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH "
" WAAH "
" I'M GOIN' WHERE
THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' "
" THROUGH
THE POURIN' RAIN "
" GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER
SUITS MY CLOTHES "
[HONK]
" BANKIN' OFF
OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS "
" SAILIN' ON
A SUMMER BREEZE "
" AND SKIPPIN'
OVER THE OCEAN "
" LIKE A STONE "
" EVERYBODY'S
TALKIN' AT ME... "
HOW YA DOIN', RALPH?
HEY.
4:00.
4:00 TO MIDNIGHT.
THAT'S WHEN
YOU'RE DUE HERE.
MR. EPPERSON, I WONDER
IF YOU COULD HAVE
A WORD WITH ME.
WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING
IN THAT GETUP?
GRAB AN APRON,
CLEAN UP THAT CRAP.
HELL, HE KNOWS WHAT
THE HELL HE CAN DO
WITH THAT CRAP.
AIN'T YOU COMING TO WORK?
I GUESS NOT, RALPH.
I JUST COME
FOR MY PAY.
I'M HEADING UP EAST.
HEADING UP EAST?
I THOUGHT I'D SAY
GOODBYE TO YOU.
JUST COME
TO LOOK AROUND.
CUPS.
HAH.
WELL...
GOODBYE.
GOODBYE.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
BACK EAST?
THERE'S A LOT
OF RICH WOMEN THERE--
BEGGING FOR IT,
PAYING FOR IT, TOO.
YEAH?
AND THE MEN ARE MOSTLY
TUTTI-FRUITIES.
I BETCHA IT'S A MESS
BACK THERE.
SO I'LL CASH IN
ON THAT.
I DON'T KNOW
NOTHIN' ABOUT IT.
WHAT I GOT TO STAY
AROUND HERE FOR?
I GOT PLACES TO GO.
" WAAH WAAH
WAAH-WAAH WAAH "
" WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH "
" WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH "
" WAAH... "
OHH.
AHH.
OH, THAT'S NICE.
OH, LOWER.
OH. AHH.
OH, THAT'S REAL...
NICE, HONEY.
" WAAH "
" BA-DEE-DA-LEE-BOP
BOPPIN-DEE-BOP BO "
" BA-DEE-DA-LEE-BOP
BOPPIN-DEE-BOP BO "
" EVERYBODY'S
TALKIN' AT ME "
" CAN'T HEAR
A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN'... "
PTA TOMORROW NIGHT
IN THE HIGH SCHOOL
AUDITORIUM AT 7:00.
PARENTS GOING--
" I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE
MY LOVE BEHIND "
SURE IS A POWERFUL MOTHER,
AIN'T IT?
YEAH, SURE IS
A POWERFUL MOTHER.
" BANKIN' OFF
OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS "
" SAILIN' ON
A SUMMER BREEZE "
" AND SKIPPIN'
OVER THE OCEAN "
" LIKE A STONE "
[GUNSHOTS]
THIS IS
THE SHOOTING SEASON.
NOW'S THE TIME TO GO
TO LLOYD'S DISCOUNT STORE
FOR ALL
OF YOUR GUN SUPPLIES.
LISTEN
TO THESE VALUES.
REMINGTON SHOTGUN
FOR ONLY...
[SALLY BUCK]
YOU LOOK REAL NICE,
LOVER BOY. REAL NICE.
MAKE YOUR OLD GRANDMA PROUD.
YOU'LL BE
THE BEST-LOOKING COWBOY
IN THE WHOLE PARADE.
YOU'LL BE
THE BEST-LOOKING ONE THERE.
OHH.
BYE, HONEY.
I'LL LEAVE A TV DINNER
IN THE FRIDGE.
YOUR OLD GRANDMA
GOT HERSELF A NEW BEAU.
EXCUSE ME, MISTER,
BUT DO YOU HAVE
ANOTHER PIECE OF GUM
FOR HER?
OH, YES'M, MA'AM,
I DO. HERE.
TAKE ONE FOR YOURSELF.
THANK YOU, NO.
IT'S JUST TILL
THE DRAMAMINE WORKS.
SHE GETS CARSICK.
I ONLY GET CARSICK
ON BOATS.
BUT IT SEEMS TO ME
THAT'S MORE THE FISH SMELL
THAN THE BOUNCING.
HOW FAR YOU HEADED?
TO DALLAS.
UP DALLAS, ARE YOU?
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
I'M HEADIN' ON UP
NEW YORK CITY.
HMM.
I'M GOIN' WHERE
THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' "
" THROUGH
THE POURIN' RAIN "
" GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER
SUITS MY CLOTHES "
" BANKIN' OFF
OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS "
" SAILIN' ON
A SUMMER BREEZE "
" AND SKIPPIN'
OVER THE OCEAN "
" LIKE A STONE ""
[ANASTASIA]
DO YOU LOVE ME, JOE?
DO YOU LOVE ME?
YOU LOVE ME?
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, JOE.
YOU-YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE.
YOU'RE BETTER, JOE.
YOU'RE BETTER
THAN THE REST.
YOU'RE BETTER
THAN ANY OF THEM, JOE.
YOU LOVE ME, JOE?
YOU'RE BETTER
THAN ALL OF THEM.
LOVE ME, JOE.
JOE.
JOE.
JOE.
DO YOU LOVE ME, JOE?
DO YOU LOVE ME?
LOVE ME.
AHH.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, JOE.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE.
YOU'RE THE BEST, JOE.
YOU'RE THE BEST.
[SWITCHING STATIONS
ON RADIO]
[ANNOUNCER]
CONSECUTIVE BROADCAST
OF THE SUNSHINE HOUR.
[EVANGELIST]
OH, YES, SWEET JESUS,
I TELL YOU,
FAITH HEALETH.
I GOT A LETTER
FROM A SISTER
ENCLOSING $10
AND TWO MALIGNANT TUMORS
SHE COUGHED UP
DURING LAST WEEK'S
PRAYER MEETING ON THE AIR.
PRAISE JESUS!
BEFORE WE JOIN IN PRAYER
FOR THIS POOR SISTER,
JESUS WANTS TO KNOW
HOW MANY SENT IN $5.00
FOR THEIR HOME-WORSHIP KIT?
YOU WANT A CIGARETTE, SIR?
NO, THANKS.
CHEW TOBACCO.
SING ALONG
WITH SISTER ROSELLA.
THROW IN SISTER ROSELLA,
YOU GOT A DEAL.
RIGHT, OLD-TIMER?
" OH, GLORY... "
SAY, YOU EVER
RUN INTO A COWHAND
BY THE NAME
OF WOODSY NILES?
WOODSY NILES, SIR?
NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE.
FRIEND OF MY GRANDMA
SALLY BUCK.
" BUT MY JESUS
SAVED ME "
" WASHED MY SINS AWAY... ""
[WHISTLING]
I WANT IT ON.
" HUSH, LITTLE BABY "
" DON'T SAY A WORD "
" GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU
A MOCKIN' BIRD "
" AND IF THAT MOCKIN' BIRD
DON'T SING "
" GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU
A GOLDEN RING "
" AND IF THAT GOLDEN RING
TURNS BRASS "
" GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU
A LOOKIN' GLASS "
" AND IF THAT LOOKIN' GLASS
GETS BROKE "
" GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU
A BILLY GOAT "
" HUSH, LITTLE BABY "
" DON'T SAY A WORD "
" GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU
A MOCKIN' BIRD ""
[MAN AND WOMAN
LAUGHING]
[CHILD LAUGHING]
" AND IT'S
HI, HI, HEY "
" IT'S THE FIELD
ARTILLERY "
" SHOUT OUT YOUR COLORS
LOUD AND STRONG... ""
[RADIO STATIC]
" 77 WABC "
77 RADIO IN NEW YORK.
THIS IS RON LUNDY.
THIS IS WABC.
THAT'S NEW YORK TALKIN'
THERE, MA'AM. HEAR THAT?
LET'S ASK SOME
OF THE LADIES HERE.
MA'AM, WHAT'S YOUR
IDEAL IN A MAN?
MY IDEAL IS GARY COOPER,
BUT...HE'S DEAD.
THANK YOU. MA'AM,
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL
IN A MAN?
A MAN WHO TAKES PRIDE
IN HIS APPEARANCE.
KINDLY CONSIDERATION FIRST.
TALL.
DEFINITELY TALL.
SOMEONE I CAN
TALK TO IN BED.
A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.
NOT AFRAID OF SEX.
A TEXAS OIL MAN.
AGGRESSIVENESS.
OUTDOOR TYPE.
A REBEL.
YOUNG.
YOU.
YA-HOO!
UH, EXCUSE ME,
MA'AM.
1, 2, 3, 4!
" AND WHERE'ER WE GO,
WE WILL ALWAYS KNOW "
" THAT THE CAISSONS
GO ROLLING... ""
THANK YOU.
SHIT.
A GRAND TIME TALKING
TO MRS. TREVIN
WHO'S GOING TO GIVE US
HER REMEDY FOR INSOMNIA.
IT'S PRETTY UNUSUAL,
BUT, ANYWAY,
I MOVE FURNITURE AROUND,
SO HELP ME.
EVERYTHING BUT THE SOFA.
AND THAT'S MY REMEDY
FOR INSOMNIA.
MY REMEDY IS, MA'AM,
JUST DIAL THE HOTEL,
ASK FOR JOE BUCK.
I IRON
MY HUSBAND'S SHIRTS.
JOE BUCK.
ON THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE
BROUGHT TO YOU
BY MORGAN-VANDERCOOK.
UP YOUR INCOME
WITH SOUND...
UP YOUR INCOME, LADY.
AZIMIR OIL--20 7/8,
UP 1 5/8.
COMMONWEAL UNITED--
22 1/2, UP 1 3/8.
MOHAWK DATA SCIENCE
IS 64 5/8,
DOWN 1 1/8.
MOLYBDENITE CORPORATION
OF CANADA--6, UP 1/2.
LOEWS THEATRE WARRANTS--
34, UP 1 1/2.
MERRILL ISLAND MINING--
4 1/16, UP 1/8.
ON THE BIG BOARD,
THE DOW JONES
INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE
CLOSED UP 6.25.
" EVERYBODY'S
TALKIN' AT ME "
" I DON'T HEAR
A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' "
" ONLY THE ECHOES
OF MY MIND "
" PEOPLE
STOPPIN', STARIN' "
" I CAN'T SEE
THEIR FACES "
" ONLY THE SHADOWS
OF THEIR EYES "
" I'M GOING WHERE
THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' "
" THROUGH
THE POURIN' RAIN "
" GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER
SUITS MY CLOTHES "
" BANKIN' OFF
OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS "
" SAILIN' ON
A SUMMER BREEZE "
" AND SKIPPIN'
OVER THE OCEAN "
" LIKE A STONE "
" EVERYBODY'S
TALKIN' AT ME "
" CAN'T HEAR
A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' "
" ONLY THE ECHOES
OF MY MIND "
" I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE
MY LOVE BEHIND "
" NO, I WON'T
LET YOU LEAVE ""
BEG YOUR PARDON, MA'AM.
I'M NEW HERE IN TOWN,
JUST IN FROM TEXAS,
AND I'M LOOKIN'
FOR THE STATUE
OF LIBERTY.
MA'AM.
WERE YOU SERIOUS,
ABOUT THE STATUE
OF LIBERTY?
OH, YES, MA'AM.
I MEAN BUSINESS.
I'M SORRY.
I...
WELL.
WELL...OH, THE STATUE
OF LIBERTY, NOW...
WELL, I THINK YOU TAKE
THE SEVENTH AVENUE
SUBWAY.
NO, WAIT.
YOU SURE ARE
A PRETTY LADY.
YOU'RE NOT LOOKING
FOR THE STATUE
OF LIBERTY AT ALL.
NO, MA'AM, I AIN'T.
WHY, YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
COME ON, BABY,
DO IT FOR MAMA.
COME ON, BABY.
MAMA'S TIRED.
BABY, COME ON.
[ARF ARF]
DO IT FOR MAMA.
HEY, YOU LITTLE OL' DOG.
HOW YOU DOING THERE?
THEY GOT YOU ALL
GUSSIED UP
FOR SOME DAMN THING,
PARDON ME, MA'AM.
I'M BRAND-NEW IN TOWN.
I WAS HOPIN' TO GET A LOOK
AT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.
A LOOK AT WHAT?
UH, STATUE OF LIBERTY.
IT'S UP IN CENTRAL PARK
TAKING A LEAK.
IF YOU HURRY UP,
YOU'LL CATCH
THE SUPPER SHOW.
HE'S PICKING
SOMETHING UP FOR ME.
[ARF]
I JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I HAVE SUCH A HEAD.
I LOVED YOUR FRIEND
MR. NEEDLEMAN,
THE LAST OF THE GREAT
KING MIDASES.
GO, GO, GO.
IT WAS EXHAUSTING.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, MAURY--
OH, GOD. STOP.
I DIE FROM THAT.
[MAURY]
WHO ARE YOU
TALKING TO?
I WAS JUST
TALKING TO BABY.
I WAS TALKING
TO THE DOG.
PLEASE, YOU'RE
ANNOYING ME.
DON'T START UP AGAIN.
I'M ANNOYING YOU?
WHY DON'T YOU
SAY HELLO TO BABY?
BABY WANTS TO SAY
HELLO TO YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO SAY
HELLO TO THE DOG.
GO AHEAD. DADDY WANTS
TO SAY HELLO TO YOU.
HELLO, BABY.
HELLO, BABY.
HELLO, YOU GODDAMN DOG.
BOW WOW WOW, BABY.
AM I GOING
TO SEE YOU TONIGHT?
WHERE DO YOU
WANT TO EAT?
WHEREVER YOU SAY.
JUST YOU AND ME,
CATCH AN EARLY SUPPER
AT LINDY'S.
WHAT TIME?
LIKE 5:30.
WE DON'T HAVE TO RUSH.
MY WIFE'S AWAY.
HER MOTHER'S SICK.
BEAUTIFUL, BABY.
I CAN STAY ALL NIGHT.
HOW ABOUT A KISS?
YOU GOT IT--
A BIG WET ONE
TILL I SEE YOU.
HEY. HEY, OH, BABY,
SAVE SOME OF THAT
FOR TONIGHT.
HEY, I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
[ARF ARF]
[ARF]
[LAUGHING]
WELCOME TO DATELINE,
THE NEW TELEPHONE
FUN GAME.
IN OUR ISOLATION BOOTHS--
IS IT BECAUSE
I'M A STABLEHAND?
1...2.
1...2.
AND REST.
ON YOUR FEET.
DO YOU THINK
GOD IS DEAD?
SUPPOSE WE DON'T JUST
TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
[WHISTLING]
1...
WHAT IF I TOOK
MY MOTHER ALONG?
OH, MY GOD!
IT EVEN MAKES
BLACK WHITER.
BRING YOUR KNEES UP.
" HO HO HO "
AAH!
OHH! OHH!
WHOO-HA!
HEY, CASS, YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU GOT HERE?
YOU GOT YOURSELF
A DAMN PENTHOUSE.
A REAL DAMN
PENTHOUSE, CASS.
DON'T LOOK, BABY.
HMM. KNOCK OFF
A COUPLE POUNDS
HERE AND THERE,
AND I'D REALLY BE
A GORGEOUS CHICK.
DON'T TOUCH.
I'M LATE ALREADY.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
OH, MY GOD.
STRAIGHTEN OUT
THE BED FOR ME,
WILL YOU, TEX?
SAY, CASS,
I SURE HAVE ENJOYED
BEING HERE.
THIS IS
AS FINE A TIME
AS I'VE EVER HAD
IN MY LIFE.
ME, TOO, LOVER.
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
IT IS.
THE WAY YOU MAKE ME
FEEL SO AT HOME,
I ALMOST HATE
TO BRING UP
BUSINESS.
IT'S MURDER, ISN'T IT?
WHAT LINE ARE YOU IN?
ZIP ME UP,
WILL YOU, TEX?
MAURY'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING
ABOUT HIS ULCERS.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT LINE MAURY'S IN,
BUT, MYSELF, NOW,
I'M A...
KIND OF HUSTLER.
PERSON'S GOT
TO MAKE A LIVING.
UH, PARDON ME, MA'AM?
I SAID, A PERSON'S
GOT TO MAKE A LIVING.
SURE YOU HEARD
WHAT I SAID?
SORRY, TEX. MY MIND
ISN'T ALL HERE.
I DON'T
WANT TO BE LATE.
LISTEN, SWEETIE, RUN ALONG
AND TAKE THE NUMBER.
WE'LL GET IN TOUCH
WITH EACH OTHER
REAL SOON.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT?
I FORGOT TO GET
TO THE BANK.
I HAVE TO TAKE A TAXI.
I NEED A FEW BUCKS.
I HATE TO ASK YOU,
BUT YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL.
YOU KNOW, CASS,
THAT'S A FUNNY THING--
YOU MENTIONING MONEY,
'CAUSE I WAS JUST ABOUT
TO ASK YOU FOR SOME.
YOU WERE GOING
TO ASK ME FOR MONEY?
HUH?
WHY DO YOU THINK
I COME UP HERE
FROM TEXAS FOR?
YOU WERE GOING
TO ASK ME FOR MONEY.
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DEALING WITH,
SOME OLD SLUT
ON 42nd STREET?
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T
HAPPEN TO NOTICE IT,
YOU BIG TEXAS
LONGHORN BULL,
I'M ONE HELL OF
A GORGEOUS CHICK.
CASS, TAKE IT EASY.
AT 28 YEARS OLD,
YOU THINK YOU CAN
COME UP HERE
AND PULL THIS KIND
OF CRAP UP HERE?
I COULD KILL YOU
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
WILL YOU
GET OUT OF HERE!
AW, CASS, HONEY...
[SOBBING]
AW, CASS, COME ON NOW.
[DOG WHIMPERS]
DO YOU THINK
I MEANT THAT?
WOULD I BE
ASKING YOU FOR MONEY
WITH A WAD LIKE I GOT
RIDING ON MY HIP?
STOP YOUR CRYING.
YOU'RE ONE GORGEOUS CHICK.
GUY GETS HORNY
JUST LOOKING AT YOU.
HOW MUCH MONEY YOU WANT
FOR THAT DAMN TAXI?
5.00?
10? YOU WANT 10?
20.
THERE YOU GO, GIRL.
[SNIFFLING]
" WAAH WAAH
WAAH-WAAH WAAH "
" WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH "
" WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH "
" WAAH "
" WAAH "
" AAH ""
TERRIFIC SHIRT.
ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME?
I WAS JUST ADMIRING
THAT COLOSSAL SHIRT.
THAT IS ONE HELL
OF A SHIRT.
I'LL BET YOU PAID
A PRETTY PRICE FOR IT.
OH, IT AIN'T CHEAP.
BIRDS.
IT'S AN ALL RIGHT SHIRT.
I LIKE BIRDS.
I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE
A LOT OF CHEAP STUFF
ON MY BACK.
HI, COWBOY.
GOT A CIGARETTE?
HEY, SWEETHEART.
MORE GODDAMN FAGGOTS
IN THIS TOWN.
OH, KISS IT, RATSO.
UP YOURS.
GOT TO WATCH OUT
FOR THAT.
HEY, YOU REALLY
KNOW THE ROPES.
I WISH I'D BUMPED
INTO YOU BEFORE.
I'M JOE BUCK FROM TEXAS.
ENRICO RIZZO
FROM THE BRONX.
I'M GOING
TO BUY YOU A DRINK.
DON'T MIND IF I DO.
BARTENDER,
DRINKS ALL AROUND.
ONE FOR MY FRIEND
HERE, TOO.
I KNOW WHEN I GIVE
SATISFACTION,
I GIVE HER SATISFACTION.
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
SHE GOT A PENTHOUSE
UP THERE
WITH A COLOR TV
AND MORE DIAMONDS
THAN A ARCHBISHOP,
AND SHE BUSTS OUT BAWLING
WHEN I ASK HER FOR MONEY.
FOR WHAT?
FOR MONEY.
WAIT A MINUTE.
FOR MONEY FOR WHAT?
WELL, HELL, I'M A HUSTLER.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT?
HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
YOU GOT TO TELL
A PERSON THESE THINGS.
I'M A HUSTLER.
SHH! SHH! SHH!
ALL RIGHT,
UH, YOU'RE A HUSTLER,
BUT, I MEAN,
YOUR PICKING UP TRADE ON
THE STREET LIKE THAT--
THAT'S NOWHERE.
YOU GOT TO GET YOURSELF
SOME KIND OF MANAGEMENT.
I THINK YOU'VE
PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?
YOU NEED
MY FRIEND O'DANIEL.
HE OPERATES
THE BIGGEST STABLE
IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN
METROPOLITAN AREA.
IT'S STUPID,
A STUD LIKE YOU PAYING.
YOU DON'T WANT
TO BE STUPID.
I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND.
A DAME STARTS CRYING,
I'D CUT MY HEART OUT
FOR HER.
THAT'S A VERY
MINOR OPERATION.
IN FACT,
YOU JUST SIT COMFY.
I'LL CUT IT OUT WITH
MY FINGERNAIL FILE, RATSO.
THE NAME'S RIZZO.
THAT'S WHAT I SAID. RATSO.
HEY, NOW YOU HEARD HIM.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, JOE,
I'M USED TO THESE TYPES
THAT GET THEIR KICKS
PICKIN' ON CRIPPLES.
THE SEWER'S
FULL OF THEM.
IF YOU'RE
SITTING OVER HERE
AND HE'S SITTING
ALL THE WAY OVER THERE,
THEN HOW'S HE
GOING TO GET HIS HAND
INTO YOUR POCKET?
SUPPOSE YOU LET ME--
I GUESS HE'S GOT THAT
ALL FIGURED OUT.
GOOD NIGHT, SWEETS.
FAGGOT.
PROVOLONE.
FAGGOT.
THESE GALS
THAT WANT TO BUY IT,
MOST OF THEM
ARE OLD AND DIGNIFIED,
SOCIAL REGISTER TYPES,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
THEY DON'T TROT DOWN
TO TIMES SQUARE
TO PICK OUT
THE MERCHANDISE.
THEY NEED A MIDDLEMAN.
THAT'S WHERE
O'DANIEL COMES IN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
[HONK HONK]
HEY!
I'M WALKING HERE!
[HONK HONK]
I'M WALKING HERE!
UP YOURS,
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
YOU DON'T TALK
TO ME THAT WAY.
[HONK]
GET OUT OF HERE!
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
ACTUALLY,
THAT AIN'T A BAD WAY
TO PICK UP INSURANCE,
YOU KNOW.
IT'S CRAZY,
A STUD LIKE YOU
PAYING THAT DAME
THAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT
DOUBLE SAWBUCKS.
WITH PROPER MANAGEMENT,
YOU COULD BE
TAKING HOME 50,
MAYBE $100 A DAY, EASY.
HEY, BRUCIE.
HANG IN THERE, BABY.
WHAT'S THAT?
HIM I PLACED WITH
O'DANIEL TWO WEEKS AGO.
HE AIN'T MUCH OF A STUD
FROM WHAT I HEAR.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY, HORSY.
[COUGHING]
HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE ME
TO MEET THIS
MR. O'DIDDLE BIRD
RIGHT NOW?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
YOU'RE A NICE GUY.
I'D BE DOING
BOTH OF YOUSE A FAVOR,
BUT FOR WHAT?
WHAT AM I DRAGGING MY
BUM LEG AROUND TOWN FOR?
TOMORROW
SOME PIECE LIKE THAT
MIGHT BE SCRATCHING
YOUR BACK
OVER AT THE PLAZA.
BUT WHERE WILL I BE?
YOU THINK I'M THAT KIND
OF SON OF A BITCH?
JUST NAME YOUR CUT.
WHATEVER YOU WANT,
YOU GOT IT RIGHT NOW.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT YOU WANT, 5? 10?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'D ASK SOMEBODY ELSE?
ALL RIGHT.
THERE'S 10 RIGHT THERE.
I'LL TELL YOU. FORGET IT.
I'LL DO--I'LL TAKE THE 10,
BUT WHEN I TAKE YOU OVER
TO SEE MR. O'DANIEL,
I'LL HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER
10 JUST TO COVER EXPENSES.
COME ON. I'LL BUY YOUSE
COFFEE ON ME.
GET OUT OF HERE.
COME ON. FUCKING CREEPS.
GO TO WORK.
HE NEEDS YOU RIGHT NOW,
TONIGHT.
I GOT HIS TONGUE
HANGING OUT.
HIS NAME IS JOE BUCK.
HE'S A COWBOY.
HE JUST CAME IN
FROM TEXAS.
HE'S NEW TO THE CITY.
HE DON'T QUITE KNOW
THE ROPES YET,
BUT HE'S VERY PROMISING
MATERIAL, SIR.
FABULOUS.
RIGHT AWAY.
WHAT'S YOUR ROOM NUMBER
THERE AGAIN, SIR?
RIGHT. O.K.
901, GOT IT?
HEY, HOLD IT A SECOND,
WILL YOU?
UH, LET'S SEE
HOW YOU LOOK.
FINE.
FINE.
FINE.
UH, THINK I COULD HAVE
THAT OTHER 10 NOW?
WHERE CAN I REACH YOU?
I'LL MAKE THIS RIGHT
WITH YOU
SOON AS I GET ME SET UP.
FORGET IT.
I MEAN, DAMN IT,
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
SHERRY NETHERLANDS HOTEL.
SHERRY NETHERLANDS
HOTEL.
HURRY. GET YOUR ASS
IN THERE. HE'S WAITING.
WHAT ARE YOU,
ON VACATION?
CLOSE THE DOORS
ON ME?
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
YOU MUST BE JOE BUCK.
YES, I AM.
COME ON IN. LET'S
TAKE A LOOK AT YOU.
TURN AROUND.
TURN AROUND.
GOOD STRONG BACK.
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT.
SO YOU WANT HELP, EH?
SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.
RELAX.
COWBOY, EH?
UH, WELL, SIR, I--
I AIN'T
A FOR-REAL COWBOY,
BUT I AM ONE HELL
OF A STUD.
TAKE IT EASY, BOY.
IT SEEMS TO ME
YOU'RE DIFFERENT
FROM MOST OF THE BOYS
THAT COME TO ME.
MOST OF THOSE BOYS
ARE TROUBLED
AND CONFUSED.
I'D SAY YOU KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT.
OH, YOU BET I DO, SIR.
YEAH.
BUT I BET YOU GOT
ONE THING IN COMMON
WITH THOSE OTHER BOYS.
I'LL BET YOU'RE LONESOME.
WELL, NOT TOO.
I MEAN, A LITTLE.
YEAH.
LONESOME.
I'M LONESOME.
SO I'M A DRUNK.
[WOMAN]
SHUT UP!
I'M LONESOME,
SO I'M A DOPE FIEND.
I'M LONESOME,
SO I'M A THIEF!
I'M LONESOME,
SO I'M A FORNICATOR,
SHUT UP!
A WHOREMONGER!
POOP, I SAY. POOP!
I'VE HEARD IT ALL!
I'VE HEARD IT ALL,
AND I'M SICK
TO DEATH OF IT!
I CAN SEE THAT.
LONESOMENESS
IS SOMETHING YOU TAKE,
YOU HEAR?
DAMN IT! YOU TAKE IT,
AND YOU GO RIGHT ON
WITH YOUR WORK!
I'M RARIN' TO GO, SIR!
YES,
I BELIEVE YOU ARE.
COWBOY, EH?
YES, SIR.
YEAH.
READY FOR SOME
HARD WORK, SON?
I'M READY FOR ANYTHING.
I RECKON IT'S GOING TO
BE A LOT EASIER FOR YOU
THAN FOR MOST OTHERS.
IT WILL BE LIKE MONEY
FROM HOME.
THERE'S
YOUR STRENGTH, SON.
YOU'VE GOT THE WAY
OF PUTTING THINGS EARTHY
SO THAT ANYBODY
CAN UNDERSTAND THEM.
I WARN YOU, JOE BUCK.
I'M GOING TO USE YOU.
I'M GOING
TO RUN YOU RAGGED!
WHOO-HA!
AH! YOU'RE
WONDERFUL, BOY.
YOU AND ME, WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE FUN TOGETHER.
IT DON'T
HAVE TO BE JOYLESS.
HELL, NO. IT DON'T.
SAY, WHY
DON'T YOU AND ME
GET RIGHT DOWN
ON OUR KNEES RIGHT NOW?
HOW'S THAT STRIKE YOU?
WHERE?
RIGHT HERE!
HERE. HERE.
RIGHT NOW.
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT?
I'VE PRAYED
ON THE STREETS.
I'VE PRAYED
IN THE SALOONS.
I'VE PRAYED
IN THE TOILETS.
IT DON'T MATTER WHERE
SO LONG
AS HE GETS THAT PRAYER!
SHIT!
THAT'S THE TICKET, BOY!
JUST OPEN YOUR HEART
AND LET IT FLOW,
LIKE THE RIVER.
AS LONG AS YOU GET
THAT LOVE FEELING!
DON'T BE
FRIGHTENED, SON!
I BAPTIZE THEE,
MY BROTHER,
IN THE NAME
OF THE FATHER...
PRAY, AND YOU
SHALL BE HEARD!
AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.
DON'T BE
FRIGHTENED, SON.
DON'T--DON'T
RUN FROM JESUS.
AAH!
" BAH BUH "
" BUH DUH "
" BAH BUH "
" BUH DUH "
" BAH BUH ""
HEY, YOU KNOW THAT
RUNTY LITTLE BASTARD
I WAS WITH?
NO. I DON'T
KNOW NOTHING, MAN.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
STOP IT!
STOP IT!
STOP IT!
STOP IT! STOP IT!
STOP IT!
HA HA HA!
WHAT'S THAT MONSTROSITY
DOWN THERE?
THAT'S A TOUPEE
FOR DOGS.
FOR DOGS?
THIS IS FIFI'S WIG.
THAT--THAT'S FOR
THAT--FOR THAT DOG?
HA HA HA!
I DON'T BELIEVE
THIS CROWD.
THERE'S SOMETHING
GOING ON HERE.
THERE'S SOMETHING
GOING ON HERE.
NOW, REALLY, SERIOUSLY,
ISN'T THIS
REALLY A CASE
OF CONNING A LOT
OF LONELY PEOPLE?
WELL, YES.
WHO ELSE WOULD DO IT?
WOMEN WITH
LOTS OF CHILDREN
WOULDN'T HAVE TIME.
THERE'S A TV DINNER
IN THE FRIDGE,
LOVER BOY.
EXPECT ME
WHEN YOU SEE ME.
I'LL LEAVE YOU
MOVIE MONEY.
[KISSING]
I THINK THAT'S SICK,
DRESSING UP A DOG
TO LOOK LIKE A CHILD.
THIS IS IN CASE
SHE MEETS ANOTHER DOG.
OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
IT'S JUST TERRIBLE.
[LAUGHTER]
HA HA HA!
I KNOW. IT'S...
[LAUGHTER]
[COIN DROPS]
[HONK]
GOLD AND...
SILVER...
AND CANDLELIGHT...
AND WINE...
AND SKYROCKETS...
AND BUTTERFLY THOUGHTS
THAT GLITTER IN YOUR MIND.
[CLICK]
YOU'RE SPECIAL.
GIVE YOURSELF
SPECIAL TREATMENT.
NEED MONEY?
WE'D LOVE
TO LEND IT TO YOU.
WHY WORRY
ABOUT YOUR FUTURE?
WHAT DO YOU WANT
MORE THAN ANYTHING
IN THE WORLD?
TAKE IT EASY...
BUT TAKE IT.
KEY TO ROOM 514,
PLEASE, SIR?
LOOKS LIKE, UH,
YOU'VE BEEN LOCKED OUT
OF YOUR ROOM, BUDDY,
TILL YOU PICK UP
THE TAB.
WHAT ABOUT MY THINGS?
OH, WE KEEP THEM
NICE AND SAFE
TILL YOU
GET THIS THING SETTLED.
YOU CAN KEEP ALL
THE REST OF THE JUNK
IF YOU JUST LET ME
HAVE THE SUITCASE.
THE SUITCASE
MEANS A LOT TO ME.
WE KEEP EVERYTHING.
HOUSE RULES.
" 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE QUEEN "
" OF DIAMONDS "
" I DREW FIRST "
" MM-HMM "
" INSTEAD I'LL FIND "
" THE ACE OF SPADES "
" THE ACE OF SPADES
REVERSED "
" HMM "
" HE QUIT ME... "
Y'ALL GOING TO
EAT THEM CRACKERS?
" HE UP "
" AND QUIT ME "
" MAN, YEAH "
" HE QUIT ME "
" YEAH "
" HE UP "
" AND QUIT ME "
" MAN "
" YEAH "
" IT WASN'T BECAUSE "
" I DIDN'T "
" TREAT HIM "
" RIGHT "
" WHOA-OH "
" AND, YOU KNOW "
" I WONDER WHO COULD "
" LEAVE HIM "
" WHO COULD LEAVE HIM
ON HIS SIDE "
" 'CAUSE IT WASN'T ME "
" NO, NO, NO, NO "
" 'CAUSE HE QUIT ME "
" HE'S GONE, GONE, GONE "
" HE UP "
" AND QUIT ME "
" WHOA "
" YEAH "
" OH, HE QUIT ME, YEAH "
" WHOA "
" YEAH "
" HE UP "
" AND QUIT ME "
" MAN, WHOA ""
I SPILLED SOME ON ME.
CAN YOU TELL ME HOW
I GET TO GRAND CENTRAL?
SHUTTLE. YOU FOLLOW
THE GREEN LIGHTS.
UH...
OFFICER...
HOW DO I GET
TO GRAND CENTRAL?
YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU GOT TO DO, COWBOY.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
SPACECRAFT
TO EARTH CONTROL.
CHECK TRAJECTORY.
WE HAVE A MALFUNCTION
OF OUR INSTRUMENTS.
CAPTAIN GRACE
IS INVESTIGATING.
ORBITAL MODULE
HAS FAILED TO SEPARATE
FROM UPPER STAGE
BOOSTER AS PLANNED.
EARTH CONTROL
TO SPACECRAFT.
YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS
BEFORE YOU ARE INJECTED
INTO LUNAR TRAJECTORY.
ONLY 30 SECONDS.
YOU READ ME?
SPACECRAFT
TO EARTH CONTROL.
I READ YOU.
CUT. CUT!
I'VE LOST YOU.
SPACECRAFT
TO EARTH CONTROL.
WE'VE LOST CONTACT
WITH CAPTAIN GRACE.
CAN YOU TRACK HIM?
[ANASTASIA]
KISS ME, JOE.
KISS ME.
EARTH CONTROL
TO SPACECRAFT.
HE'S IN FREE FALL.
KEEP TRYING
TO MAKE CONTACT.
AHH!
OH!
OH, YOU'RE
THE ONLY ONE, JOE.
YOU'RE
THE ONLY ONE.
YOU'RE KISSING
CRAZY ANNIE, MAN?
YOU BETTER DRINK
A WHOLE DAMN DRUGSTORE.
HEH HEH HEH!
KISS ME, JOE.
KISS ME.
OH!
OH! YOU'RE
THE ONLY ONE, JOE.
[ROCKET BLASTING OFF]
I'M AWFUL DAMN SORRY
THAT YOU'RE SICK...
BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO GIVE ME THAT MONEY
LIKE YOU SAID.
I WAS LYING.
I DON'T HAVE IT.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO TO ME?
YOU AIN'T GOT $25?
NO.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO TO ME?
WHAT IN THE HELL
DO YOU THINK?
WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?
YOU WANT ME
TO BEAT ON YOU?
HOW MUCH YOU GOT?
NOTHING.
EMPTY YOUR POCKETS OUT
RIGHT OVER HERE.
TAKE MY BOOKS.
I DON'T WANT YOUR BOOKS.
HOW MUCH
IS THAT THING WORTH?
NO. NO. DON'T.
DON'T TAKE MY WATCH.
PLEASE. DON'T TAKE IT.
IT'S ONLY A CHEAP WATCH.
IT'S NOT WORTH ANYTHING.
I CAN'T GO HOME
WITHOUT IT, EITHER.
PLEASE,
MY MOTHER WOULD DIE.
DON'T TAKE IT.
I CAN'T GO HOME.
SHE'D DIE.
SHE WOULD DIE.
PLEASE.
OH.
I DON'T WANT
YOUR DAMN WATCH.
PREPARING FOR THIS BRIEF
MOMENT OF GLORY
AT HALF-TIME,
A BASIC TRAINING
AS RIGOROUS
AS THE STAR FOOTBALL
PLAYERS' THEMSELVES--
LONG HOURS OF PRECISION
CHOREOGRAPHY
THAT WOULD PUT
THE ROCKETTES
TO SHAME,
MUSICAL ARRANGEMENTS...
REHEARSALS...
COSTUME FITTINGS...
A PRODUCTION IN HOLLYWOOD'S
FINEST TRADITION.
[HONK]
THERE'S AN INVASION
OF AMERICANS.
YOU CAN SPOT
THE INVADERS EASILY
IF THEY'RE
BY THEMSELVES.
THEY'RE DARK,
HEAVY,
AND HAVE
NOTICEABLE ACCENTS.
EVERY DAY THEY'RE
WORKING THEMSELVES
INTO MORE HOMES.
WHAT CAN
YOU DO ABOUT
THESE INVADERS?
ENJOY THEM.
NOVEMBER BETTER
HOMES AND GARDENS
EXPLAINS
THE INVASION OF
SWEDISH FURNITURE.
DON'T HIT ME.
COME ON, NOW.
I'M A CRIPPLE.
I AIN'T GOING
TO HIT YOU!
I'M GOING TO
STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH.
FIRST I'M GOING
TO SHAKE YOU OUT.
WHERE'S MY MONEY?
HERE.
PUT IT RIGHT THERE.
ALL RIGHT. HERE.
THAT'S ALL I GOT
RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S ALL YOU GOT?
WHAT YOU GOT
IN YOUR SOCKS?
NOTHING. I SWEAR TO GOD.
I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S
EYES. NOTHING.
HERE. 64 CENTS.
GO AHEAD.
COME ON.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
AW, STICKY.
WHAT DID YOU DO,
SLOBBER ON IT?
HAVE A CIGARETTE.
COME ON.
COME ON.
[LIGHTS MATCH]
COME ON. SIT DOWN.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
THAT O'DANIEL,
FLIPPING OUT LIKE THAT?
HEH HEH HEH!
I TRIED TO GET IN TOUCH
WITH YOU WHEN I HEARD,
BUT I WAS LAID UP
WITH THIS COLD.
[COUGHING]
HEY, YOU WANT SOME
FREE MEDICAL ADVICE?
YOU JUST KEEP
YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT
ABOUT THAT NIGHT.
RIGHT. FINE. O.K.
FINE. O.K.
ANOTHER SUBJECT.
WHERE ARE YOU LIVING AT?
YOU STILL AT THE HOTEL?
WHAT AM I DOING
TALKING TO YOU? DAMN IT!
SHIT.
HEY, COME ON.
[COINS CLATTER]
WAIT UP,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
YOU KEEP AWAY FROM ME.
COME NEAR ME,
I'LL SNATCH YOU
BALD-HEADED.
I'M INVITING YOU.
IF YOU'RE NOT LOCATED,
I GOT A PLACE.
I'M INVITING YOU,
GOD DAMN IT!
YOU'RE INVITING? SHIT!
THE "X" ON THE WINDOW
MEANS THE LANDLORD
CAN'T COLLECT RENT,
WHICH IS A CONVENIENCE
'CAUSE IT'S CONDEMNED.
FRONT DOOR.
I MEAN, I DON'T CARE.
ACTUALLY I PREFER IT
THAT WAY.
IT KEEPS THE PUNKS
AND THE CREEPS OUT.
GOT MY OWN PRIVATE
ENTRANCE HERE.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WHO KNOWS ABOUT IT.
WATCH THE PLANK.
WATCH THE PLANK.
BREAK YOUR
GODDAMN SKULL.
NO WAY TO
COLLECT INSURANCE.
GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
OH, THERE'S GLASS THERE.
OH, I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO TAKE THAT FRIDGE UP.
GET IT, WILL YOU?
YOU NEED ANY HELP?
NO, I DON'T NEED
NO HELP FROM YOU.
YOU O.K.?
IT'S NOT FAR.
[RADIO PLAYS]
IT'S JUST ONE MORE UP.
ALL THE ELECTRIC'S OFF.
I DON'T MESS
WITH CON EDISON.
IT'S ANOTHER CONVENIENCE,
HUH,
BUT THE ICEBOX
WILL KEEP THE ROACHES
FROM GETTING IN
THE PERISHABLES.
WHERE DID YOU
STEAL THIS?
STEAL? IT'S BEEN
SITTING THERE FOR WEEKS.
[GRUNTING]
I MEAN BEFORE THEN.
DON'T GET A HERNIA.
GO AHEAD.
JUST DROP IT
ANYWHERE.
[SWITCHING STATIONS]
[COUGHING]
NOT, UH,
NOT BAD, HUH?
[TOILET FLUSHING]
THERE'S NO HEAT HERE,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
BY THE TIME WINTER COMES,
I'LL BE IN FLORIDA.
HEY, UH, DO YOU WANT
TO STRETCH OUT HERE...
MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE?
O.K.
GO AHEAD.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE--
TAKE A NAP?
WOULD YOU LIKE
A CUP OF COFFEE?
[SIREN]
JOE?
DO YOU LOVE ME, JOE?
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE,
JOE.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE.
JOE, DON'T YOU THINK
SHE'S...
JOE, DON'T YOU THINK
SHE'S...
STOP IT!
I SAID STOP IT!
[SIREN]
HE'S THE ONE.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE.
[ANASTASIA]
HE'S THE ONE.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE.
[BOTTLE BREAKS]
[SIREN]
LOOKS LIKE CASUALTY REPORTS
HAVE BEEN ISSUED.
THE AMERICAN INFORMATION
OFFICER SAYS
THERE HAVE BEEN 429
AMERICAN CASUALTIES.
429 ON THE DEATH LIST.
THIS AS OPPOSED TO 643
SOUTH VIETNAMESE SOLDIERS.
HEY. HEY, WAIT, MAN.
HEY, WHAT--
WHAT'S THE MA--
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHERE'S MY--
WHERE'S MY BOOTS?
WHERE'S MY DAMN BOOTS?
OVER THERE.
[COUGHING]
HOW'D THEY GET OFF ME?
I TOOK THEM OFF.
WHA--
WHAT FOR?
WHAT FOR?
SO YOU COULD SLEEP.
CHRIST.
THE SMART THING
FOR ME TO DO
IS HAUL MY ASS
OUT OF HERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER NOW?
WELL, YOU WANT ME
TO STAY HERE.
YOU'RE AFTER SOMETHING.
WHAT ARE YOU AFTER?
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
NO FAG.
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
YOU WANT ME TO STAY
HERE TONIGHT.
THAT'S THE IDEA,
AIN'T IT?
LOOK,
I'M NOT FORCING YOU.
I MEAN, LIKE,
WHO'S FORCING YOU?
OH, I'M SORRY.
I TRULY AM.
I MUST'VE GOT
THE WRONG IMPRESSION THEN.
O.K. O.K., BOY.
LOOK, I WANT YOU
TO STAY, ALL RIGHT?
I MEAN, I GODDAMN
INVITED YOU, DIDN'T I?
I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR.
I'M A TRULY
DANGEROUS PERSON, I AM.
AND SOME--
SOMEONE DOES ME BAD,
LIKE YOU,
IF I'D CAUGHT UP
WITH YOU THAT NIGHT,
THERE'D HAVE BEEN ONE
DEAD RATSO ALONG BY NOW.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
YOU HEAR?
I'M IMPRESSED.
YOU'RE A KILLER.
SO IF I'M GOING
TO STAY HERE
A COUPLE OF DAYS,
I JUST THOUGHT
YOU SHOULD KNOW,
THAT'S ALL.
PROPERTY OF THE YMCA.
SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME
WANT TO PUKE, RATSO.
[COUGHING]
JOE, UH...
DO ME ONE FAVOR,
HUH?
THIS IS MY PLACE,
AM I WRONG?
NO, YOU AIN'T WRONG.
YOU KNOW,
IN MY OWN PLACE,
MY NAME AIN'T RATSO.
I MEAN,
IT JUST SO HAPPENS
THAT IN MY OWN PLACE,
MY NAME IS ENRICO
SALVATORE RIZZO.
WELL, I CAN'T SAY
ALL OF THAT.
RICO, THEN.
PLEASE CALL ME RICO
IN MY OWN
GODDAMN PLACE.
O.K. RICO,
RICO, RICO.
RICO, RICO,
RICO, RICO.
IS THAT ENOUGH
FOR YOU?
THAT'S FINE.
GIVE ME A PILLOW.
COME ON. GIVE ME ONE
OF THOSE PILLOWS.
[COUGHING]
KEEP YOUR MEAT HOOKS
OFF MY RADIO.
RICO, RICO.
[COUGHING]
ARE YOU HERE AGAIN?
DIDN'T I TELL YOU
ONCE BEFORE TO KEEP
AWAY FROM HERE?
EASY.
EVERY TIME YOU TAKE
STUFF FROM ME.
THAT AIN'T NICE,
PICKING ON
A CRIPPLE BOY.
CRIPPLE OR NOT,
I DON'T CARE.
GOD DAMN IT!
[YELLING IN ITALIAN]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
THE TWO BASIC ITEMS
NECESSARY
TO SUSTAIN LIFE
ARE SUNSHINE
AND COCONUT MILK.
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
THAT'S A FACT.
IN FLORIDA, YOU GOT
A TERRIFIC AMOUNT
OF COCONUT TREES THERE.
IN FACT, I THINK
THEY EVEN GOT THEM
IN THE GAS STATIONS
OVER THERE.
AND LADIES.
YOU KNOW THAT IN MIAMI
YOU GOT, UH...
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
YOU GOT MORE LADIES
IN MIAMI
THAN IN ANY RESORT AREA
IN THE COUNTRY THERE.
I THINK, PER CAPITA,
ON A GIVEN DAY,
THERE'S PROBABLY 300
OF THEM ON THE BEACH.
IN FACT, YOU CAN'T EVEN
SCRATCH YOURSELF
WITHOUT GETTING
A BELLY BUTTON THERE
UP THE OLD KAZOO THERE.
IT'S HOT. LET'S GO.
COME ON!
HEY.
IT SMELLS WORSE HOT
THAN IT DID COLD.
STARTING TOMORROW,
YOU'LL COOK YOUR OWN
GODDAMN DINNER,
OR YOU GET ONE OF YOUR
RICH PARK AVENUE LADIES
TO COOK FOR YOU.
I'M EATING IT, SEE?
LOOK, I'M EATING
THIS SHIT, RATSO.
MMM! GOOD!
GOOD.
I GOT TO GET OUT
OF HERE.
GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
MIAMI BEACH.
THAT'S WHERE YOU
COULD SCORE.
ANYBODY
CAN SCORE THERE,
EVEN YOU.
IN NEW YORK,
NO RICH LADY
WITH ANY CLASS AT ALL
BUYS THAT COWBOY CRAP
ANYMORE.
THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOU
ON THE STREET.
AIN'T NOBODY LAUGHING
AT ME ON THE STREET.
BEHIND YOUR BACK,
I SEEN THEM LAUGHING.
WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WOMEN?
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU SCORED?
THAT'S A MATTER
I ONLY TALK ABOUT
AT CONFESSION.
WE'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT ME NOW.
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU BEEN TO CONFESSION?
THAT'S BETWEEN ME
AND MY CONFESSOR.
ANOTHER THING--
YOU'RE BEGINNING
TO SMELL.
AND FOR A STUD
IN NEW YORK,
THAT'S A HANDICAP.
I AIN'T NEVER
SEEN YOU CHANGE
YOUR UNDERWEAR
THE WHOLE TIME
I'VE BEEN HERE.
AND THAT'S PRETTY
PECULIAR BEHAVIOR.
I AIN'T GOT NO NEED
TO EXPOSE MYSELF.
NO, I BET YOU DON'T.
I BET YOU AIN'T NEVER
EVEN BEEN LAID.
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO TELL ME WHAT
APPEALS TO WOMEN.
I KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW
THAT THAT COWBOY CRAP
DON'T APPEAL TO NOBODY
EXCEPT EVERY JACKIE
ON 42nd STREET.
THAT'S FAGGOT STUFF.
YOU WANT TO CALL IT
BY ITS NAME, THAT'S
STRICTLY FOR FAGS.
JOHN WAYNE, YOU
GOING TO TELL ME
HE'S A FAG?
I LIKE THE WAY I LOOK.
IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.
IT DOES.
AND WOMEN LIKE ME,
GOD DAMN IT.
HELL, ONLY ONE THING
I EVER BEEN GOOD FOR
IS LOVING.
WOMEN GO CRAZY FOR ME.
HELL, CRAZY ANNIE,
THEY HAD TO SEND HER AWAY.
HOW COME YOU
AIN'T SCORED ONCE
THE WHOLE TIME
YOU BEEN IN NEW YORK?
'CAUSE I NEED MANAGEMENT,
GOD DAMN IT!
'CAUSE YOU STOLE $20
OFF OF ME,
AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
GOING TO STOP CRAPPING
AROUND ABOUT FLORIDA
AND GET YOUR
SKINNY BUTT MOVING
AND EARN $20 WORTH
OF MANAGEMENT,
WHICH YOU OWE ME.
[CRASH]
HA HA HA!
[HUMMING]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
A WOMAN IN YOUR CONDITION
SHOULDN'T HAVE
TO DO ALL THIS.
QUANTI MESE?
OH, SETTE--
SETTE MESE.
OH, SETTE MESE.
YOU HAVE A LOT
OF LAUNDRY HERE.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
OH, SIGNORA,
COME STA?
[SPEAKING
ITALIAN]
SI, SIMPATICO.
SI, SI.
WELL, IT JUST AIN'T RIGHT
CHEATING
FROM A PREGNANT LADY.
WHAT DID IT
COST HER?
WHAT DID IT COST HER?
THE LAUNDRY SYNDICATE
LOST A COUPLE COINS.
I'M CRYING.
SIR, WHERE'S MINE?
THE BLACK HOMBURG.
I BROUGHT IT IN
THE SAME TIME.
WELL, I TELL YOU,
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU GOT TO BRING ME
THE TICKET.
WHAT ABOUT THAT BLACK
HOMBURG RIGHT UP THERE?
IS THAT IT
RIGHT THERE?
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
A TICKET?
OH, YEAH,
HERE'S MY TICKET.
YOU WANT TO GET IT.
RIGHT OVER THERE.
I'LL LOOK THEM OVER.
KEEP GOING,
UP TO THE TOP.
RIGHT IN THE CORNER.
NO, IT NO BELONG
TO YOURS.
IT BELONGS
SOMEBODY ELSE.
HEY!
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
HEY, YOU'RE PRETTY
DAMN GOOD AT THAT.
YOU COULD MAKE
A LIVING AT IT
IF YOU TRIED.
AND END UP A HUNCHBACK
LIKE MY OLD MAN?
IF YOU THINK I'M CRIPPLED,
YOU SHOULD'VE CAUGHT HIM
AT THE END OF THE DAY.
[SPITS]
MY OLD MAN SPENT
14 HOURS A DAY
DOWN IN THAT SUBWAY.
HE'D COME HOME AT NIGHT,
$2.00-$3.00 WORTH
OF CHANGE
STAINED
WITH SHOE POLISH.
STUPID BASTARD
COUGHED HIS LUNGS OUT
FROM BREATHING IN
THAT WAX ALL DAY.
EVEN A FAGGOT UNDERTAKER
COULDN'T GET
HIS NAILS CLEAN.
WE HAD TO BURY HIM
WITH GLOVES ON.
O.K., GO AHEAD.
COME ON. TAKE A LOOK.
DON'T RUSH ME, BOY.
GOT TO TAKE
YOUR TIME HERE.
GET MYSELF PRIMED UP,
LIKE I WAS TURNING ON
THE CHARM
FOR SOME PRETTY
LITTLE BLOND LADY,
YOU KNOW?
THEN WHEN
I'M FEELING GOOD,
I SPIN AROUND.
AND THERE YOU ARE,
YOU HANDSOME DEVIL, YOU.
NOT BAD.
NOT BAD...
FOR A COWBOY.
YOU'RE O.K.
YOU'RE O.K.
AND YOU WILL BE
PUNCTUAL, WON'T YOU?
THE LADY WILL MEET YOU
IN THE LOBBY.
YES, EVERYTHING'S
BEEN ARRANGED.
TAXI!
YES, SIR. YOU GOT SOMETHING
ON YOUR SHOULDER THERE.
THERE YOU GOT IT.
GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
SAY, YOU HAVEN'T GOT
A QUARTER, HAVE YOU?
JUST A QUARTER?
HOW DO YOU LIKE
THAT CHEAP BASTARD?
LET'S SEE WHAT THE HELL
YOU GOT HERE.
I THINK
WE STRUCK GOLD.
THIS IS ONE
HIGH-CLASS CHICK.
"BARCLAY HOTEL
FOR WOMEN."
WOMEN.
IS THIS THE GENTLEMEN'S
ESCORT SERVICE?
I'M CALLING FOR, UH,
MISS BEECHAM, UH, UH,
AT THE BARCLAY HOTEL.
RIGHT. WELL,
SHE CHANGED HER MIND.
SHE WON'T NEED
NOBODY TONIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ALL RIGHT.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE
A WHOLE GODDAMN HOTEL
WITH NOTHING
BUT LONELY LADIES?
SCORE ONCE
IN A SETUP LIKE THAT,
AND, CHRIST,
THE WAY THEY TALK,
I COULD OPEN UP
AN OFFICE IN THERE.
COME ON.
GO AHEAD.
GET THE MONEY.
LISTEN,
GET THE CASH!
REMEMBER THAT LADY
IN THE PENTHOUSE.
THOSE RICH LADIES
WRITE OUT
A CHECK AT NIGHT.
AND IN THE MORNING,
THEY CALL THE BANK
AND STOP PAYMENT.
WATCH THE CAR!
GO ON.
RICO!
HEY, RICO!
RICO!
UP HERE!
UP HERE!
RICO!
A-6.
G-49.
G-49.
I-24.
I-24.
AND THE NEXT ONE IS...
O-62,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
O-62!
ARE THERE ANY BINGOS?
AND THE NEXT ONE
IS C-13!
IN THIS PUBLIC PLACE?
NOW, WAIT A SECOND,
LADY.
YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS
OFF OF ME!
[SIREN]
[COUGHING]
[THUNDER]
THE TEMPERATURE RIGHT NOW
IS 28 DEGREES,
AND THE WEATHERMAN SAYS
IT'S GOING DOWN TONIGHT.
YEAH, CLOUDY NOW,
AND WE CAN EXPECT
A FEW SNOW FLURRIES
LATER ON.
[LIVELY JINGLE PLAYS]
" ORANGE JUICE ON ICE "
" IS NICE "
" ORANGE JUICE
ON THE ICE "
" ORANGE JUICE ON ICE
IS NICE "
[COUGHING]
" IT'S REFRESHINGLY
COOLER NATURALLY "
" BREAK AWAY
FROM OLD HABITS "
" TAKE A WORD
OF ADVICE "
" SERVE REAL "
" FLORIDA ORANGE JUICE "
" ORANGE JUICE ON ICE "
" BREAK AWAY
FROM OLD HABITS "
" TAKE A WORD
OF ADVICE "
" SERVE REAL "
" FLORIDA ORANGE JUICE "
" ORANGE JUICE ON ICE ""
I'LL GIVE YOU
$5.00 FOR IT.
YEAH.
[COUGHING]
" I GOT A TELEPHONE CALL
FROM JESUS "
" I GOT HIM ON THE LINE "
" I'M GONNA CALL HIM UP,
RING HIM UP "
" THEN THE SUN
WILL SHINE "
[COUGHING]
" I GOT A TELEPHONE CALL
FROM JESUS "
" I GOT HIM ON THE LINE ""
[MAN]
OHH, A WISE GUY!
[COUGHING]
HEY, RATSO...
[COUGHING]
HEY, GET YOUR ASS
OUT HERE.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING.
THERE YOU GO, BOY.
THERE'S MONEY FOR YOU.
THAT'S $9.00 RIGHT THERE...
PLUS ASSORTED CHANGE...
MINUS 26 CENTS FOR MILK...
PLUS 5 CENTS FOR DENTYNE.
GUM.
OH, THAT'S--THAT'S SMART.
LIGHT A CIGARETTE.
TAKE THAT
AND BUY A CARTON--
DO THE JOB RIGHT.
WHERE'D YOU GET IT?
I GOT IT.
WHERE YOU BEEN,
42nd STREET?
THAT'S WHERE YOU BEEN.
MOVIES--THAT'S WHERE
YOU BEEN, AIN'T IT?
I AIN'T BEEN NOWHERE.
YEAH, MOVIES.
THAT'S WHERE
YOU GOT THAT THING
ON YOUR BACK.
WHAT, THIS?
WHAT, THIS?
FRIEND I ONCE
DID A FAVOR FOR
GIVE IT TO ME.
WHO'D YOU EVER
DO A FAVOR FOR?
YOU'D LET
SOME POOR BASTARD
FREEZE TO DEATH.
YOU STOLE THE DAMN
THING, DIDN'T YOU?
YOU STOLE IT.
I STOLED IT FOR YOU.
THE GODDAMN THING'S
10 SIZES TOO BIG
FOR ME.
I WOULDN'T HAVE IT
ON MY BACK.
I'LL BE GODDAMNED
IF I'LL WEAR IT.
THERE.
OH, BUY YOURSELF
SOME MEDICINE
BEFORE YOU DIE
ON MY DAMN HANDS.
[COUGHING]
I HATE BONE YARDS.
SO SPLIT.
HE AIN'T YOUR
GODDAMN FATHER.
HE WAS EVEN
DUMBER THAN YOU.
HE COULDN'T EVEN
WRITE HIS OWN NAME.
"X." THAT'S WHAT
IT OUGHT TO SAY
ON THAT HEADSTONE.
ONE BIG LOUSY "X."
JUST LIKE OUR DUMP--
"CONDEMNED BY ORDER
OF CITY HALL."
MY GRANDMA SALLY BUCK...
SHE DIED WITHOUT
LETTING ME KNOW.
BOY!
HITLER STORM TROOPERS!
JUST FOR GETTING
OUT OF A CAR.
YOU BELIEVE THAT?
IT ALL DEPENDS ON
WHAT YOU BELIEVE,
YOU KNOW?
LIKE, SOMETIMES, UH,
YOUR SPIRIT GOES UP,
SOMETIMES
IT GOES, UH...
GOES OTHER PLACES.
HOW LONG DID I
HOLD UP TRAFFIC?
I ASK YOU.
GIVE SOME PEOPLE
A LITTLE POWER,
AND RIGHT AWAY
THEY SUPERSEDE
THEIR AUTHORITY.
ALL THIS
KIND OF THING
IS SPIRITUAL--
SPIRITUAL MATTERS.
OH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING
PRIEST TALK NOW.
I AIN'T TALKING
PRIEST TALK.
I'M TALKING ABOUT
WHAT PEOPLE BELIEVE.
SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE
YOU CAN COME BACK
IN ANOTHER BODY.
WELL, I HOPE I DON'T
COME BACK IN YOUR BODY.
I AIN'T
ASKING YOU TO.
I'M JUST SAYING
YOU COULD COME BACK
AS ANYTHING...
AS A DOG
OR A PRESIDENT.
IF I HAD THAT CHOICE,
I'D COME BACK
AS A PRESIDENT.
I AIN'T THAT DUMB...
DON'T YOU THINK?
WELL, MAYBE YOU GOT
TO THINK ABOUT THOSE
THINGS FOR A WHILE.
I'M USUALLY A VERY CALM
AND COLLECTED PERSON.
REALLY. FORGIVE ME.
I'M AWFULLY SORRY.
I THINK I'M
GOING TO WRITE
A LETTER TO THE MAYOR.
I DON'T BELIEVE
ANY OF THAT.
YOU'RE ENTITLED
TO THINK WHAT
YOU WANT.
MAYBE I DO--
HIM.
MAYBE I DO BELIEVE
ALL THAT DAMN STUFF.
AND I--AND I...
...DO SOME THINKING
ABOUT IT, THAT'S ALL.
WHAT WAS THAT
ALL ABOUT?
HEY, LOOK-A HERE.
I'VE BEEN CHOSEN
FOR SOME DAMN THING.
HEY.
IT'S A COME-ON.
THIS IS A COME-ON
TO A PARTY.
IT'S A COUPLE OF
WACKOS ADVERTISING.
WHERE'S IT SAY
TO GO, KLEIN'S
BARGAIN BASEMENT?
YOU GET A 10-YEAR
SUBSCRIPTION
TO THE ENCYCLOPEDIA
BRITANNICA.
"BROADWAY
AND HARMONY LANE.
"HANSEL AND GRETEL
McALBERTSON.
ONE FLIGHT UP."
THAT'S PERFECTLY
CLEAR, AIN'T IT?
GET OUT OF HERE.
WHAT DO THOSE WACKOS
WANT WITH A COUPLE
CHARACTERS LIKE US?
IT DON'T SAY NOTHING
ABOUT YOU.
IT DON'T SAY NOTHING
ABOUT YOU.
IT DON'T SAY NOTHING
ABOUT YOU EITHER.
DIDN'T THEY GIVE ME
THE THING?
WHAT, YOU WANT ME
TO GET LOST
SO YOU CAN GO TO
YOUR FANCY-ASS
PARTY?
I DIDN'T SAY
NOTHING ABOUT THAT.
DID I SAY THAT?
DID I?
I'LL JUST TELL 'EM,
"YOU WANT ME,
I DON'T GO NOWHERE
WITHOUT MY BUDDY HERE."
I AIN'T DRESSED
FOR A PARTY.
[COUGHING]
HERE WE GO.
RIGHT HERE.
[DOG BARKS]
HEY, DOG.
[COUGHING]
[MUSIC PLAYS]
OHH...
HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU O.K.?
HELL, DAMN,
YOU'RE SWEATING
ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE.
COME HERE.
YOU GOT
A COMB ON YA?
I DON'T NEED A COMB.
HERE.
A FEW DOZEN COOTIES
AIN'T GONNA KILL ME,
I DON'T GUESS.
O.K.?
YEAH.
I LOOK O.K.?
YEAH.
O.K., COME ON.
COME ON.
HEY, THEY'RE
TAKIN' MY PICTURE.
" SEE THEM STARE "
" EVERYWHERE... "
[BEEP]
UH, NOW JUST ONE MORE
CLOSE-UP OF HER.
I LOVE EVERYTHING
IN THE THEATER.
I WOULD LIKE TO DIE
ON THE STAGE.
AND MY HAIR IS FUR,
YOU KNOW.
ITS TENDRILS
REACHING OUT INTO
SPACE SOMETIMES.
I'VE WATCHED IT
TOUCH MANY STARS.
WACKOS.
THEY'RE ALL WACKOS.
I THINK WE BETTER
FIND SOMEBODY AND
TELL THEM I'M HERE.
HEY!
UH...WELL, I MADE IT.
THIS IS MY FRIEND
RATSO RIZZO.
RICO.
RICO RIZZO.
[WOMAN]
HELLO.
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,
THERE'S BEER AND STUFF
BEHIND ME.
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
OH, JESUS.
YOU WANT THE WORD
ON THAT PAIR,
HANSEL'S A FAG,
AND GRETEL'S GOT
THE HOTS FOR HERSELF.
SO WHO CARES?
LOAD UP ON THE SALAMI.
[WOMAN]
IT'S LIKE WHAT?
LIKE HEROIN.
DEATH'S LIKE HEROIN.
IT'S NOTHING.
YOU'VE TRIED
HEROIN?
YEAH, I'VE TRIED HEROIN.
IT'S LIKE NOTHING.
IT'S LIKE DEATH.
IT'S JUST NOTHING.
WHY ARE YOU
HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHO
BROUGHT YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
THANK YOU, MA'AM.
" IT DOESN'T MATTER "
" WHAT PEOPLE THINK "
" LIVE JUST FOR TODAY "
" OUT OF THE SUN "
" AND FIND A PLACE... "
HEY, WH--HEY, SONNY,
WHATCHA DOIN' THERE?
SHE GIVE IT
TO ME, BOY.
GIVE ME
THAT GODDAMN THING.
" SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN "
" OPEN WINDOW "
" SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN "
" OPEN WINDOW "
" WINDOW
IN HIS EYE "
" AS THEY STARE "
" EVERYWHERE... "
HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT,
UP OR A DOWN?
UP OR DOWN?
HERE, WHY DON'T
YOU TAKE AN UPPER?
[LAUGHTER]
" SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN "
" OPEN WINDOW "
" SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN "
" OPEN WINDOW... ""
WHY ARE YOU
STEALING FOOD?
I WAS JUST, UH,
NOTICING
THAT YOU'RE
OUT OF SALAMI.
SOMEONE SHOULD GO
TO THE DELICATESSEN
AND BRING SOME BACK.
WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT'S FREE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
STEAL IT.
IF IT'S FREE,
THEN I AIN'T STEALING.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
HOW'D YOU GET CRIPPLED?
SLIPPED ON
A BANANA PEEL.
I GOT TO SIT DOWN.
I FEEL CRUMMY.
TAKE YOUR HANDS
OFF ME.
RUN UP
AND USE MY SHOWER.
TAKE A WALK.
JUST TAKE
YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
TAKE A WALK.
TAKE A SHAVE.
I WAS JUST--
GET YOUR HANDS
OFF OF ME!
WELL,
YOU LOOK HOT!
GUESS WHO I AM.
WHO?
HA HA. IT'S ME!
HA.
HOW YOU DOING?
GETTING YOUR PICTURE
TOOK, HUH?
[MOBILE TINKLES]
HI.
TSSS.
TSSS.
TSSS.
SSS...
OHH...
HEY.
OHH...
HA HA...
OH, NO,
OH, NO, OH, NO...
HEY.
LET'S, UH...
LEAVE NOW.
YOUR PLACE...
OR MINE?
[MUSIC BLARES]
SHE'S HOOKED.
LIKE, WHY, COWBOY?
10 BUCKS?
I'LL ASK FOR 20.
WHY, COWBOY WHORE?
DID YOU KNOW WE WERE
GOING TO MAKE IT?
SO, UH, YOU REALLY
WANT TO DO BUSINESS?
WHO'S HE?
DON'T TELL ME YOU TWO
ARE A COUPLE.
HA HA HA!
HEY...
WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, JOE?
ARE YOU REALLY A COWBOY?
TO TELL THE TRUTH,
I AIN'T A FOR-REAL
COWBOY,
BUT I AM ONE HELL
OF A STUD.
A VERY
EXPENSIVE STUD.
I HAPPEN TO BE
HIS MANAGER.
INCIDENTALLY,
HOW MUCH IS THIS
GOING TO COST ME?
20 BUCKS.
O.K.
AND TAXI FARE
FOR ME.
OH, GET LOST,
WILL YA?
I AGREE,
BUT FOR THAT SERVICE,
I CHARGE 1 BUCK
TAXI FARE.
O.K.?
YEAH, O.K.,
O.K., O.K.
OH, BOY.
HERE.
GO AHEAD.
I DON'T EVEN
KNOW YOUR NAME.
I WANT TO KNOW
YOUR NAME.
MY NAME'S JOE.
JOE!
OH, FABULOUS.
JOE COULD BE ANYONE.
I LIKE THAT.
MOVE OVER, JOE.
COME HERE, JOE.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU
KISS ME, JOE?
[COUGHING]
OH, MY...
WOW.
TOO MUCH.
HE FELL.
HEY, FELLA,
YOU FELL.
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, HE'S FINE.
WELL, IF YOU'RE
ALL RIGHT,
WHY YOU HANGIN'
ON THE BANISTER?
CAN'T YOU WALK
OR NOT?
NATURALLY I CAN WALK.
YEAH. HE'S GOT
TAXI FARE.
HA HA. COME ON.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
YEAH, YEAH, Y-YEAH.
[ENGINE STARTS]
HEY, RATSO!
WHOOPATEE-AY-YO, BOY!
WHOO-HOOAH!
" OUTSIDE MY... "
" OUTSIDE MY... "
" OUTSIDE MY WINDOW ""
WELL, IT HAPPENS.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IT AIN'T
NEVER HAPPENED
TO ME BEFORE.
YOU CAN BET
YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR
ON THAT.
WHERE'S THE MATCHES,
MA'AM?
OVER THERE
BEHIND THAT THING.
MAYBE IF YOU
DIDN'T CALL ME MA'AM,
THINGS MIGHT
WORK OUT BETTER.
THAT'S THE FIRST
GODDAMN TIME THE THING
EVER QUIT ON ME.
THAT'S A FACT.
YOU THINK
I'M LYIN' TO YA?
NO.
NO, I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE LYING.
I JUST HAD
THIS FUNNY IMAGE.
I HAD THIS IMAGE
OF A, UH...
POLICEMAN
WITHOUT HIS STICK...
AND A, UH...
BUGLER WITHOUT
HIS HORN,
ET CETERA, ET CETERA,
ET CETERA.
OH...
WELL, I THINK
I'M MAKING IT WORSE.
MAYBE WE OUGHT TO
TAKE A LITTLE NAP...
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
I AIN'T SLEEPY.
OH.
I KNOW--
SCRIBBAGE.
SHIT.
WELL, LOOK
AT THIS HERE.
SEE?
THERE'S AN "E"
IN MONEY...
I MEAN, IF THAT'S
YOUR WORD.
M-O-N-Y.
THAT'S EXACTLY
HOW YOU SPELL IT
ON THAT BIG BUILDING
UP THERE.
M-O-N-Y. MONEY.
"Y."
WHAT IN THE HELL
STARTS WITH "Y"?
WELL, IT CAN
END IN "Y."
LIKE, UH...
"SAY," "PAY"...
"LAY."
"HEY," "PAY," "LAY."
O.K.,
CUT IT OUT, NOW.
YOU'RE CHEATING--
TEASING ME SO
I CAN'T THINK.
GAY ENDS IN "Y."
HMM?
YOU LIKE THAT?
CUT THAT OUT.
GAY...FEY.
IS THAT YOUR
PROBLEM, BABY?
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU
WHAT'S A PROBLEM.
OH, OW...
I'M NOT.
I'M NOT EXAGGERATING.
LISTEN, MARJORIE,
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
IT MIGHT BE
TERRIFIC FOR YOU.
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
WELL, WHAT NIGHT
IS PHIL'S POKER NIGHT?
WELL, THINK.
YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
UH, JOE...
ARE YOU AVAILABLE
THURSDAY NIGHT?
WHAT TIME?
YEAH,
AROUND 8:30?
UH, WELL,
LET ME THINK, NOW.
THURSDAY, 8:30.
UH...
I GUESS I CAN
BE AVAILABLE.
HELL, YES.
HELLO?
MARJORIE,
IT'S ALL SET
FOR THURSDAY
NIGHT AT 8:30.
YES. NO, NO.
I CAN'T
TALK NOW.
CALL ME
AT THE OFFICE
LATER.
YEAH. O.K.
BYE-BYE.
MA'AM?
I SURE HATE TO
TROUBLE YOU, BUT--
SURE.
20, WASN'T IT?
UH, YES'M.
BYE.
[COUGHING]
HEY, BOY,
LOOK RIGHT IN THERE.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
LOOK IN THERE, BOY!
SOME OF THAT STUFF'S
FOR YOU, TOO.
LOOK,
TRY THAT ON FOR SIZE.
I GOT SOME OF THAT STUFF
YOU LIKE TO SWILL, TOO.
ASPIRIN, MENTHOLATUM.
ALL THAT CRAP.
WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER,
THEY WRONG?
THEY O.K., ONLY
WHY'D YOU BUY THEM?
WHILE YOU WERE
GETTING THE ASPIRIN,
I COULD'VE
LIFTED THIS.
IS THAT HOT?
YEAH, YOU WANT SOME SOUP?
YEAH.
I'LL GET YOU
SOME SOUP THEN.
WE AIN'T GOING TO HAVE
TO STEAL NO MORE.
I GOT 8 BUCKS,
20 MORE COME THURSDAY.
WE'LL BE RIDING EASY SOON.
GIMME SOME SOUP.
GIMME SOME SOUP.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I'M GETTING HERE?
LOOK AT THAT THERE.
THAT'S GOOD
HEALTHY STUFF FOR YOU.
LOOK IT THERE.
SOUP!
THANKS.
IT'S HOT.
WATCH OUT.
HOW WAS SHE?
SHE WENT CRAZY,
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW
THE DAMN TRUTH OF IT.
YEAH?
TURNED INTO
A DAMN ALLEY CAT.
THANKS FOR THE STUFF.
DON'T MENTION IT.
IT'S GOOD.
HEY, LISTEN,
DON'T GET SORE
OR ANYTHING, O.K.?
I AIN'T SORE.
I DON'T THINK
I CAN WALK ANYMORE.
I BEEN FALLING DOWN
A LOT.
I'M SCARED.
WHAT ARE YOU
SCARED OF?
YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY DO TO YOU
WHEN THEY KNOW
YOU CAN'T--
WHEN THEY FIND OUT
THAT YOU CAN'T
W-W-WALK.
OH, CHRIST!
I GOT TO LAY DOWN.
O.K., O.K.
I GOT TO LAY DOWN.
YOU GOING TO
LAY DOWN NOW.
TAKE IT EASY.
I'M GOING TO LAY YOU DOWN.
I'M GOING
TO LAY YOU DOWN.
PUT THIS THING OVER YOU.
NOW, YOU STAY HERE.
WHERE YOU GOING?
I GOT TO GET
A DOCTOR.
YOU AIN'T GETTING ME
NO DOCTOR.
YOU'RE SICK, BOY.
YOU NEED A DAMN DOCTOR.
NO DOCTORS.
NO COPS.
DON'T BE SO STUPID.
WHAT THE HELL
YOU WANT ME TO DO?
FLORIDA.
GET ME TO FLORIDA.
I CAN'T GO
TO FLORIDA NOW.
PUT ME ON A BUS.
I DON'T NEED YOU.
YOU GOT THE DAMN FEVER.
GET ME ON A BUS.
YOU AIN'T SENDING ME
TO BELLEVUE.
WHY'RE YOU DOING
THAT? IT'S HOT.
YOU'RE SICK.
KEEP IT ON YOU.
NO. TOO HOT NOW.
DUMB. BOY,
YOU'RE REALLY DUMB.
I DON'T NEED YOU.
YOU'RE DUMB.
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
JUST SHUT UP!
DUMB COWBOY, BOY.
JUST WHEN THINGS
ARE GOING RIGHT FOR ME,
YOU GOT TO PULL
A STUNT LIKE THIS.
[FOOTSTEPS]
HI, SHIRLEY,
HOW YOU DOING, GIRL?
THIS IS WHO?
UH, WHEN WILL MRS. GARDNER
BE HOME?
THIS IS A FRIEND OF HERS.
THIS IS A GODDAMN
GOOD FRIEND OF HERS.
OH, HELL.
I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG.
[GUNSHOTS]
TOO BAD.
WE ALL HAVE
OUR OFF DAYS.
[IMITATING GUNFIRE]
I'M TOWNSEND P. LOCKE
FROM CHICAGO.
CALL ME TOWNY.
I'M HERE ON
A PAPER MANUFACTURERS
CONVENTION
AND, FRANKLY, TO HAVE
A LITTLE FUN, DAMN IT.
THIS IS MY FIRST NIGHT
IN TOWN.
I'D CONSIDER IT
A PRIVILEGE
IF YOU'D HAVE DINNER
WITH ME, ANYWHERE
YOU SAY.
FRENCH, ITALIAN?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
HOW YOU'RE DRESSED.
THEY KNOW ME.
BESIDES, I'LL TELL THEM
YOU'RE WITH THE RODEO.
THERE'S ALWAYS A RODEO
IN TOWN, DAMN IT.
BESIDES, YOU LOOK
VERY ELEGANT.
BUT DAMN IT ALL,
WE CAN'T DO THAT.
I'M EXPECTING
A TELEPHONE CALL
BACK AT THE HOTEL.
MAMA?
A COINCIDENCE.
GUESS WHO WAS BEING
DISCUSSED?
HAVE YOU GOT
THAT THING TURNED UP?
WELL, WHY AREN'T YOU
WEARING IT?
OH, REALLY, MAMA,
THIS IS JUST IMPOSSIBLE.
I MEAN, WHY GO
TO ALL THE EXPENSE?
WHY GO TO ALL
THE EXPENSE, MAMA,
THE EXPENSE?
DID I TELL YOU
I GOT ME A SICK KID
ON MY HANDS?
I GOT TO GET HIM SOUTH
QUICK AS I CAN.
I GOT A SICK BOY.
AND I'M GONNA
GET HIM SOUTH.
UNDERSTAND ME, TOWNY?
I'M GONNA GET HIM SOUTH.
WHAT YOU WANT?
WHAT YOU GOT ME
UP HERE FOR?
WELL, JOE, IT'S...
IT'S SO DIFFICULT. I...
YOU'RE A NICE PERSON, JOE.
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE
ASKED YOU UP HERE.
YOU'RE...
YOU'RE A LOVELY PERSON
REALLY.
OH, GOD, I LOATHE LIFE.
I LOATHE IT.
PLEASE GO.
PLEASE.
YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?
NO.
I MEAN, YES, YES.
PLEASE GO.
COME BACK TOMORROW?
PROMISE?
I'M GOING TO FLORIDA
TOMORROW.
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
YOU MEET SOMEONE.
YOU THINK YOU...
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
A PRESENT.
FOR YOUR TRIP.
PLEASE TAKE IT.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE A CATHOLIC.
SAINT CHRISTOPHER'S
THE PATRON SAINT
OF ALL TRAVELERS.
TAKE IT
FOR HELPING ME BE GOOD.
I GOT TO HAVE MONEY.
YES, OF COURSE. I...
WAIT HERE.
I SAID WAIT.
HERE.
DON'T EVEN THANK ME.
I GOT TO HAVE
MORE THAN 10.
I GOT TO HAVE $57.
I SIMPLY
DON'T HAVE IT.
I GOT FAMILY,
GOD DAMN IT.
YOU'RE WASTING
YOUR TIME, JOE.
THERE'S NOTHING
IN HERE.
GET OUT OF MY WAY,
PLEASE, SIR.
AAH!
NO, NO, NO, NO.
LET GO OF THAT TABLE,
PLEASE, SIR.
NO.
NO. DON'T, DON'T, DON'T.
OH, I DESERVED THAT.
I BROUGHT THIS ON
MYSELF.
MY NOSE IS BLEEDING.
YOU GOING TO LET GO
OF THAT TABLE,
OR YOU WANT
A BUSTED SKULL?
NO, JOE.
JOE, JOE...
OH, JOE...
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
OPERATOR.
NUMBER, PLEASE?
NUMBER, PLEASE?
NO, NO, NO,
I WASN'T CALLING ANYONE.
HELLO?
I WASN'T CALLING ANYONE.
I WASN'T CALLING ANYONE.
NO, I WASN'T
CALLING ANYONE.
OH, JOE.
JOE.
31 HOURS.
11:30 IN THE MORNING
WE GET THERE.
NOT THIS MORNING,
BUT THE NEXT AT 11:30.
THESE GUYS
ARE GOOD DRIVERS, BOY.
THEY GOT TO BE.
YOU DIDN'T KILL HIM,
DID YOU?
YOU GOT BLOOD
ON YOUR JACKET.
I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT.
[HORNS HONK]
IF YOU'RE
GONNA SHIVER,
PUT YOUR BLANKETS
UP MORE.
I BEEN THINKING.
I HOPE WE'RE NOT GOING
TO HAVE A LOT OF TROUBLE
ABOUT MY NAME DOWN THERE.
WHAT'S THE WHOLE POINT
OF THIS TRIP ANYWAY?
KEEP YOUR BLANKETS
ON YOU.
I MEAN, CAN YOU
SEE THIS GUY
RUNNING AROUND THE BEACH
ALL SUNTANNED?
AND HE'S
GOING IN SWIMMING, LIKE,
AND SOMEBODY YELLS,
"HEY, RATSO!"
WHAT'S THAT
SOUND LIKE TO YOU?
SOUNDS LIKE
I KNEW YOU.
SOUNDS LIKE CRAP.
ADMIT IT.
I'M RICO
ALL THE TIME, O.K.?
WE'RE GOING TO TELL
ALL THESE NEW PEOPLE
MY NAME'S RICO.
O.K.?
O.K.
HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I'M WET.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE WHAT?
I WET MY PANTS.
THE SEAT'S ALL WET.
WELL, HELL,
AIN'T NO USE CRYING
OVER THE DAMN THING.
HERE I AM
GOING TO FLORIDA,
MY LEG HURTS,
MY BUTT HURTS,
MY CHEST HURTS,
MY FACE HURTS.
LIKE THAT AIN'T ENOUGH,
I GOT TO PEE
ALL OVER MYSELF.
THAT'S FUNNY?
I'M FALLING APART HERE.
YOU JUST--
KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU JUST TOOK
A LITTLE REST STOP
THAT WASN'T
ON THE SCHEDULE.
LET ME PUT YOU
UP HERE.
HEY, WHAT SIZE PANTS
YOU WEAR?
" EVERYBODY'S
TALKIN' AT ME "
" I DON'T HEAR
A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' "
" ONLY THE ECHOES
OF MY MIND "
" PEOPLE
STOPPIN', STARIN' "
" I CAN'T SEE
THEIR FACES "
" ONLY THE SHADOWS
OF THEIR EYES... "
THANK YOU, MA'AM.
WHERE YOU FROM?
NEW YORK.
EVER BEEN HERE
BEFORE?
NO, MA'AM, I AIN'T.
THIS IS MY FIRST TIME.
I HOPE YOU HAVE
A GOOD TIME IN FLORIDA.
THANK YOU.
" BANKIN' OFF
OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS "
" SAILIN' ON
A SUMMER BREEZE... "
HEY...
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M ZIPPING YOUR FLY.
WHAT THE HELL
YOU THINK I'M DOING?
" I'M GOIN' WHERE
THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' "
" THROUGH
THE POURIN' RAIN "
" GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER
SUITS MY CLOTHES ""
THANKS, JOE.
THESE SHIRTS
ARE COMFORTABLE,
AIN'T THEY?
YOURS WAS
THE ONLY ONE LEFT
WITH A PALM TREE ON IT.
CLOTHES ARE DAMN CHEAP
HERE, TOO.
YOU KNOW THAT?
[COUGHING]
EVERYTHING WE GOT
ONLY SET US BACK
10 SOME.
HEY, YOU KNOW, RATSO--
RICO, I MEAN--
I GOT THIS DAMN THING
ALL FIGURED OUT.
WHEN WE GET TO MIAMI,
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO
IS GET SOME SORT OF JOB,
'CAUSE, HELL, I AIN'T
NO KIND OF HUSTLER.
THERE MUST BE
AN EASIER WAY OF MAKING
A LIVING THAN THAT.
SOME SORT
OF OUTDOORS WORK?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
I'M GOING TO DO.
O.K., RICO?
RICO?
RICO?
HEY, RICO?
RICO?
[HORNS HONK]
IT'S O.K., FOLKS.
EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
IS HE KIN TO YOU?
WANT TO CLOSE HIS EYES?
WHAT?
JUST REACH OVER
AND CLOSE HIS EYES.
WE'LL JUST DRIVE
ON IN, ALL RIGHT?
NOTHING ELSE
WE CAN DO.
IT'S O.K., FOLKS.
JUST A LITTLE ILLNESS.
WE'LL BE IN MIAMI
IN A FEW MINUTES.
IT'S O.K., FOLKS.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
JUST A LITTLE ILLNESS.
WE'LL BE IN MIAMI
IN JUST A FEW MINUTES.