Motorama Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Motorama script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Drew Barrymore movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Motorama. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Motorama Script



When I come home I want

a home-cooked meal, not this frozen crap!



I want it on the table!



Well, how about, in your lap, buster?






- Okay, now you eat it!

- Go to hell.



- I'm in hell already.

- Well, that's my life, pig.



I tried calling you all afternoon.

Where were you?



Do you want to watch?



You were with him again. Admit it!



I was with our son.

We have a son, you know.



The little jerk.

I should have strangled him in the cradle.



Very nice!



You know by the way, I'm pregnant again.



Just kidding.



Pick this food up now!



Come on, you whore. Now!



I'd like these changed into bills, please.



I have to count them.



Just because you went

and put them in rolls...



...doesn't mean that I don't

have to recount them.



All right, then, recount them.



That could take hours.



Then it'll take hours.



- Here comes somebody.

- Yeah, that's right.



Look over there.



Come over here to the other window.



Maybe he'll give us a ride.



Look at those wheels.






Do you want to play with me?



Beat it, kid.



Is there waitress service here

or do I order directly from you?



I'll take your order.



Just a coffee, thanks. No sugar.






I'll bet you've been asked this before.



Just how did you make

enough money to buy...



...a fancy set of wheels like that?



You don't really care about that, do you?



I would really like to know.



I sold my stamp collection.



I thought collecting stamps

was just for little kids.



That's right.



I've had the collection

ever since I was a little kid.



Don't you ever get married.



He sold his stamp collection.



- Thank you.

- You're welcome.



You wait for a minute.

Get him out of here!



Don't get your knickers in a twist.



I haven't finished yet.



I want chocolate cream pie.



I want a big piece.



Okay. On the count of three.



One, two, three.



- Heavier than I thought he'd be.

- You got that right.



- So, how's work?

- Same.



- Hey, there.

- Hello.



Fill it up?



No, you better just make it $  worth.






It needs more string.



I don't know.

Looks pretty high up there to me.



Ruby Costello was over here

the other day with her camera.



Took a picture of me

shaking hands with Officer Perkins.



Do you know Jerry?






We're good friends.



And Ruby says she'll send the picture

over to the drive-in.



She says they'll show the picture

of me shaking hands with a policeman...



...before the picture show.



Says it'll be good for my business,

because it means I'm not crooked.



That's what it means, I guess.



Say, you're sort of a little fellow,

aren't you?



So I says to Ruby,

"No, I have bigger plans than that."



No, sir.



It isn't customers I want to impress.



What's that going to do?



Make me a rich man?



Who cares about this life?



- Do you know what I'm saying?

- Actually, no.



I mean, I took that picture right back.



Because I knew

there was only one person...



...that I cared about showing

I was an honest citizen.



- Check your oil?

- No.



I figure it's just a matter

of getting it up high enough.



He'll see it up there somehow,

betwixt all them angels.



So that's why you need more string.



That's why I need more string.



You got any?






- Thanks for the gas.

- You bet.



I completely forgot my Motorama cards.



Ruby, I'll call you back. Your what?



Aren't you a participating station?



No, they wouldn't be in here.












You are?



- Gus.

- Gus?



- Gus.

- Phil.



Listen, Phil, I bought $  worth of gas.



Now, I know that I am entitled to...



I know. I'm looking here, see?



I'm looking. You see me looking?



See? I'm looking.



It's just nobody asks

for Motorama cards anymore, I swear.



When was the last time

you handed them out?



Let's see...



I don't know.



Listen, keep an eye on my kite, will you?



Phil, mind if I take a couple of maps?



Yeah, go ahead.



This is Mercer, right?






Where are the cards?



I was afraid of that.









- The usual?

- Fill it up.



Please, no.



How's the air in the old tires, Jerry?



Check the front right for me, will you?



My God.



Do you have any cheese puffs, Phil?



Help yourself, Jer.



Hi there, young fella.






Are you working here with Phillie?






This wouldn't be such a bad place to work.



Maybe you'd want to work here, is that it?



Well, you know, I have other plans.



Here's your change, Jerry.



Exactly the right change.

Didn't shortchange you or nothing.



- Why don't you count it?

- That's all right, Phillie.



I owe you for the...



You've never paid for them before.



It's okay.



- Thanks.

- Anything exciting happen on the job?



No, not too...



So, who belongs to that nifty car out front?



My father.






And where is your father?



He is in the men's room.






- See you later, Phillie.

- All right, Jerry.



Phil, why don't we just forget

about the Motorama cards this time?



What is this about your father

in the men's room?



You lied to that man!



He's an officer of the law,

do you understand that?



- Come on, Phil.

- Are you a criminal or something?



What did you do, murder somebody?

Is that it?



One second there.



- No! Let me go!

- Now, Gus, tell me!



- No!

- Tell me!



I'm underage, damn it.



That's all it is, Phil.



I didn't do anything.



It's just, I'm    fucking years old.



I don't have a driver's license.






It's not such a terrible crime, is it, Phil?



Well, I guess not, Gus.



Sorry if I flew off the handle back there.



It 's just... Well, you know,

I got to look after my own salvation.



Do you understand?






I mean, if the Lord knew

I helped a dangerous criminal escape...


            you think I'd ever make it to heaven?



I am going to heaven.



Are you?



I'm not dangerous, Phil.



Gus, I believe you.



Still, you are breaking the law.

You do know that, don't you?



Phil, check it out!



Jesus Christ Almighty.



My message to the Lord!






Come back, come back!



Phil, it probably means

your application was accepted.



You're chosen!



No, it's too soon for my day of judgment.



Come back, come back!



So long, Phil.



Excuse me. What are your rates?



$  a night.



Okay, I'll take a room for the night.



You pay in advance.






Here, you sign right here. Right there.



Number   . It's down the hall.



- Okay, thank you.

- Do you need any help with the luggage?



No, that's very nice of you,

but I don't have any.



No luggage?






Just a second.



You don't have a girl with you, do you?



No, no girl.



Because if you do, that'd be another $ .



I don't have a girl.



Well, do you mind if I check?






"Peel off gold disk.



"Any combination of cards

that spells out MOTORAMA...



"...makes holder eligible

for grand prize of $    million."



$    million.



"Other letter combinations make

holder eligible for lesser prizes.



"Check with your participating station.



"Motorama cards will be issued

with a minimum purchase of $ .



"All ages can play.



"This contest will never expire."



I forgot to tell you...



...if you catch any squirrels...



...give them to me.



All right.









Come on.



Damn it!



Well, hot damn!



Finally, the pink "M."



This sucks!



Thanks a lot, Phil!



Look at yourself.



You're acting like a little kid.



What, did you think

it would be easy or something?



Good morning.



Good morning.



You're up early.



Let me guess, squirrels?



I caught seven

of the little buggers last night.



Good for you.



Can you tell me how far it is

until the next gas station?



About ten miles.



You can't miss it.






About ten miles.



You can't miss it.






Aren't those beautiful colors

in that postcard?



Say, mister, can we borrow

your back seat for a quickie?






This tire can't be repaired.



You're going to have to buy a new one.



How much does a new tire cost?



They range in price.



The cheapest one.



The cheapest one

we have costs $   smackeroos.



Andy, hold this pan, will you?



How many Motorama cards

can I get with $   smackers?



Motorama cards?



Hell, man, for $   smackers

we'll give you a whole box full.






Come on.



- That guy's a shrimp, no?

- You know what?



He plays Motorama.



If you get a lot of Motorama cards

from one location...


            it very likely that

they will all be the same letters?






If you guys give me

a whole box full of Motorama cards...



...will all of the Motorama

cards have the same letters on them?



Lou, floor it.



Do I turn it on first?



If you guys give me

a lot of cards will they...



Look, man, I don't know!



I mean, nobody plays that game anymore.












$   $   stinking bucks left!



Hustle. Hustle.



Hello, again.






Where is your dad?



In the woods there, a little rest stop.



He couldn't hold it

until the next gas station.



Your father sure has to

go to the bathroom a lot.



Diabetes, you know?



I hear you.



Well, take care.



Take it easy.



Everybody get in line. Come on.



- I'm first.

- No, I'm first.



Guys, knock it off.

Just get in line and let's go.



A stinking buck.



Excuse me.



Is there any place

to get those funny glasses?



Right over there.



Thank you.



Shit, don't!






First, I need a can

and then something like a hose.



Something I can run liquid through.



No, I don't think that would be right.



You wait right here. Thank you.



And don't tell anybody.



No, don't tell anybody.



I won't tell anybody.



- Tell me.

- I told you.



I'll tell you again.



Inspection officer here!



Got something to hide, cook?



No, sir!



Then let's have a look

under that shoe of yours.



Smoking while cooking?



Yes, sir.



- What is that you're cooking?

- Yankee beans, sir.



Smoking while cooking Yankee bean soup.



- $   fine.

- Yes, sir.



- Let me taste that, cook.

- Yes, sir.



Cooking Yankee bean soup! $   fine!



Yes, sir.






Got to find a hose!



No, it's another $   for the cigarette.



$   plus $  .



It's $   altogether.



What is all the racket in here?



I have a job. A very important job.



I've been paid already.



It's a very important job!



Cool out, son.



The trespasser crosses across the grass...



...and little machine guns

come out of the Dalmatian statues.



And they hone in

on the intruder with radar.



That's ingenious.



Are you getting a raise?



Of course, as soon as I finish the blueprint.



It's just that I hardly ever get asked

to do anything too important.



Well, there's a first time for everything,

I guess.



No, I mean, I feel terrible because

I got to go back in there and bus tables.



Thank God.



According to the gun laws,

we can use real bullets.



Thank God!



Thank God is right.



I'd really like to help out and all, but...



Well, say no more.



I mean, basically, we're all alone

in this world anyway, you know?



Grab him!



I thought so.






He's just a kid.



He can't be more than    years old.

Look at him.



He's a thief.



That's what I know.



You want to do something with him?



I don't know.



Folks, I'm right here in the same room.



He's right. Excuse us.






You stole our gasoline, fella.



I know.



I'm sorry.



He's sorry.



He's sorry.



Let's teach this little puke a lesson.



Look, man, I don't know

what the hell you're talking about.



But whatever you want, you got it.






Just, please, my eye.



My God.



Darrel, look at him.



I must have hit him with my ring.



Please, get a doctor.



It's pretty nasty.



It is a pretty nasty wound.



- Did you hit him?

- Me?






I would have to admit that I hit him, yes.



I can save his eye...



...but I'm going to have to operate

on your son tonight.



He's not our...



Tonight? You have to operate tonight?






Otherwise he'll lose his sight.



It's plain and simple.



I guess he'll have to lose his sight.



What? I didn't hear that.



I said, I guess it's our decision, right?



Of course.



You see, loss builds character.



Am I right, hon?



Whatever you say, Darrel.



That's how I learned.



He'll adjust.






We forgot to ask you about patches.









Motorama, Gus.



You won.



You did it!



You won, come on in.



Come on in.






You won Motorama, you did it.



Gus, what's that?



Gus you haven't won yet!



Darrel says you can keep the gas.



"Play Motorama."



I told him, "If you don't like what

I'm paying, go work for somebody else."



It was the same way

when he worked for me.



You can do it!



That's enough for me, partner.



How much do I owe you?



Same as always.



Hey, old pirate.



Old pirate?



How about it, friend?



$   a go.



No, thanks, really.



Come on.



It could be your lucky day.



New contest. Over here!



I really do not want to do this.



Come here.



I'll tell you what.



I'll let you win a couple of times

if you start losing too much.






Look, I said, "No." N-O, no, all right?



You sure now?



Wait, a minute. Did you say $   a shot?



- That's right.

- Okay, let's do it.



You're on.



- Billy, you say, "When."

- When.



- Again.

- Again?



- Down $  . Way to go, Vern.

- Again.



I thought you said

you were going to let me win a little.



I lied.



$  .



$  .



$   hold on!






No, I mean, stop!



No more game, forget it!



You owe Vern $   big ones, old pirate.



Look, Vern, all I have is $  .



Really, that's all I can spare.






I'll let you all in on a little secret.



Believe it or not, I play Motorama.



What the hell is that?



Right now,

my whole life is devoted to this game.



I've got four letters,

so obviously I've got a long way to go.



All I can spare is $  .



So if you'll just take the $  

I'll be on my way, okay?



You're playing Motorama?



That's right.



What letters do you need?



Just the middle four. T-O-R-A.



Hell, we can give you the middle four.



Can't we, Vern?



Let me go!



So, now that you won Motorama...



...what do you plan on doing

with all that money?



Now, please.



Audiences all over the country

are waiting to hear from...



...the great Motorama winner.



Please, speak.



Oh, boy.



That man only has one eye.



That's all right. I used to be the same way.



It's okay, Tommy, he doesn't mind.



Go on.



What's funny about the man?



He only has one eye.



Come on.



- He only has one eye.

- Louder!



He only has one eye!



It's getting a little better.



You want to play for some money?



Who, me?



Yes, I was just trying to get

a little gasoline money.



I won't hustle you if you don't hustle me.



I don't gamble.



You don't want to look bad

in front of your kids, do you?



Hi, Dad.



That's another $  .



$    altogether to me,

and I'm going to call it quits.






Listen, I only got $    with me, man.



I got to get all the way back to Mercer.

I got my wife and two kids.



- We'll play another game. One more.

- Sorry, man, we shook hands.



I can't afford it.









Andy? Lori?



Kids, you want to go potty?



Want to potty in the woods?

Daddy takes you.



Come on, let's go.



Come on, let's go. Come on, Lori.



- Come on. Come on, sweetheart.

- No.






We go potty in the woods.



Come on!






Oh, my God!



Oh, my God!



Oh, my God!



Oh, my God!



I don't believe it!



I don't believe it!



My God!



And check the oil,

water and battery, will you?



Yes, sir.



And check the air pressure in the tires, too.



You got it.



- Help!

- Wait, stop!






- What's wrong, son?

- Nothing.






Do you have problems, son?






Listen, have you ever heard about

anybody getting the "R" in this game?



The "R", sir?



Yes, the "R." You know, Motorama.

The "R." M-O-T-O-R-A-M-A.



The "R."



I don't know anything about that, sir.






This is still Ventnor, isn't it?



- Yes, sir.

- Good.



Are you alive?



All I need is the "R."



If I die, put it on my gravestone,

that all he needed was the "R."



Promise me that, will you, kid?



Promise me.






Ralphy, Ronny...



...Rosemary, Reggie.



I named all my kids with "R" names,

hoping God would answer my prayers.



Got any kids?



It doesn't work to give them "R" names.



The "R" is down the road.



I can feel it.



It's mine!



It's mine. I can feel it! It's mine!



Is this a participating station?



For Motorama?



I'll have $  worth of regular, please.



Oh, my God.






I only get one?



You have no more? You're out of cards?



Oh, my God!



I won Motorama.



I won! What do I do?



You need to speak

with Miss Lawton's office.



- What's the floor?

- Hold on. You can't go up there.



You want to call? There's a phone.

The extension is    .



- Miss Lawton's office.

- Hello. I won.



I won Motorama. I've got all eight letters.



Hold on, please.



- Miss Lawton.

- Yes, hello. I won!



- Are you in charge of Motorama?

- Yes, I am. May I help you?



Yes, I won! I won Motorama!

I have all the letters.



What do I do?



I mean, how do I... Well, what do I do?



Sir, did you read the cards?



Yes, of course I read the cards.

I've got all the letters!



Yes. Very good, sir.



So, I won?



Sir, the directions on the card

clearly state that...



...any combination of cards

that spell out Motorama...



...make holder eligible for the grand prize.



You haven't won anything yet.






Do you understand, sir?



You're now eligible for the grand prize,

that's all.



But, wait a minute. I don't understand.



But, I...



Give me your name, sir,

and we'll definitely let you know...



...if anything happens.



"If anything happens"?



But I won!



Sir, I really must go now.



I get calls like this all the time.



Now, please, your name?









Lawton, Lawton.






You're the young man

who called a little while ago, aren't you?



Yes, we've been expecting you.



You've got all the letters.



How nice.



We'd just like to know,

just as a formality...



...where did you get the "R"?



What station?



Could you tell us that?



Does it make a difference?

How am I supposed to remember?



We could help you remember.



Here are some pictures.



Could you come over here?






Miss Lawton?



I've been through a lot of shit to get here.



And look, did I win or not?



Give me an answer, right now. I mean it!



You are Miss Lawton, aren't you?



Well, then, come on!



I want an answer and I want it now.



Understand, lady?



Why, you're just a child.



Screw that, lady!



What is it with this contest?



I want you to listen for a minute.



Nobody is ever supposed

to win Motorama.






Not really.



It's just something that's been...



...well, sort of set up, you know?






It's just something to kind of

give people something to do.



Something to talk about.



But I got all the letters.



I got all the letters!



That's something, isn't it? Good boy.



Now, you should be very proud of that.



Why don't you think about it that way?



"Good boy"?



Are you kidding me?



Do you think I came

all this way for "good boy"?



Do you have that letter ready yet,

Miss Lawton?



It's on your desk, Mr. Hendricks.



Wait a minute.



Hold on.



You're just some damn secretary.



What the fuck is going on here?



- Now, calm down.

- Calm down my ass.



I want to speak to the head honcho here.



All right.



Just turn around because here he is.



Grab him!



What are you doing? My cards!















All right.



Where you going?



I don't know.



I hope you don't mind all my singing.



I know I have a lousy voice.



I'm not allowed to do it on the job,

you know?



I guess everybody needs

some creative outlet.



Creative outlet. It's so important.



It doesn't matter what you do,

but as long as while you're doing it...


            feel you can pour yourself into it,

that's really...



I'll be right back.



You need any help?






I'll do it.



Thanks for the lift,

but I'm going to get off here.



What the hell for?



It wouldn't be such a bad place to work.



It wouldn't be such a bad place to work.



Why, you look great.



A born gas station attendant.



Listen, I have something for you.

It's right behind me, on the pump.






- Thanks.

- You're welcome.



What do we do,

just sit around and wait for cars?



That's it.



Fill her up?



No, empty it.



Hi-Test, huh?



You're in a good mood.



I just won a million bucks.



I just won a million bucks

at the casino in Los Huevos.



Just like that.



- Check your oil and water, sir?

- No.



Want to touch my money?



No, that's okay.



Come on, you know you want to.



Come on. Atta boy.



Nice guy.



Here, for the gas.



"No, empty it."



Do you have a radio?



No, I don't listen to the radio much.



I like to listen to music.




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