Mumford Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Mumford script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Lawrence Kasdan movie with Jason Lee.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Mumford. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Mumford Script





I got out of the truck in this two-bit town.



I got no money and no prospects.



What I need right now is a stiff drink,

a cold shower and a hot broad.



I'll take 'em in any order they come.



Oh, yeah, one other thing I need: An angle.



If it weren't for bad luck,

I wouldn't have any luck at all.



Can I help you?



Either my luck had just changed,



or fate just bought me

another round of trouble.



The house needs a few repairs. It's small...



She kept yammering the whole time,

but her hips were doing all the talking.



We haven't had a man

around here for so long that...



It couldn't have been any clearer

what the set-up was.



- The next move was up to me...

- Stop.



Hold it. Stop. Don't tell me.



That's all the time we have. Sorry.

Next time.



- I have    minutes.

- I don't wanna hear any more today.



Why not?



- Mr Follett, do you trust me or not?

- I don't know. I've only seen you for...



- Without trust, you might as well not come.

- I didn't say I didn't wanna come.



Good. Then go.



- Hi, Charlie.

- Hi, Doc.



Doc, you're early. What happened?



- My patient had to leave early.

- Who?



Does "nosy" have any meaning to you, Lily?



I think it's like... inquisitive?



- It was Henry Follett.

- You see him a lot.



It's wrong of you to reveal it.

Next you'll reveal his problem.



- What do you wanna know?

- I'm never telling you anything.



- Hey, Doc. How's it going?

- Fine, Elizabeth. You?



Mumford, how long

have you been in this town?



- I don't know.

- Four months, two and a half weeks.



You've got more patients

than the other two shrinks.



- I don't think even you could know that.

- Look at that guy.



You know who that is, don't you?



You really don't?

That's Skip Skipperton, man.



- He gets hit by a truck, the town shuts.

- So that's him, the Panda man?



What makes you so popular?

What's your secret?



You like me. How come?



I'm not sure. Let me think about it.



I'm watching Brokaw, and they've got

some astronomer, this limey know-it-all.



He says with this Himball telescope they've

discovered     million more galaxies.



I guess that's supposed

to make me feel small?



I'm supposed to feel insignificant?

Is that the point?



'Cause I'll tell ya, it didn't!



Lionel, since this is our first session,

you can sit up and look at me if you like.



Tell me about what brought you here.



Kind of impatient

for a big-time headshrinker.



How about you let me explain it my way,

OK? Thanks.



So, in my dream, it's always the same.



I wake up in my room when I was a kid



and I realise

it's the day of the big exam at school.



Which is no problem for me because I'd

attended every class, so I'm totally prepared.



Then I see myself running down the hall

at school. This is very interesting, I think.



It's not really my school.

It's the school from the next district.



- Go on!

- Even though I arrive early,



everybody is already there,

but the surprising part is...



I'm the only one who's prepared.



- You'll have to get out.

- You can't do this.



Sure I can, Lionel.



I am a criminal lawyer. You think

I like my clients? I can't stand most of them!



But I don't kick them out.



That sign says, "We can refuse service

to anyone. " I don't wanna see you back here.



Do you at least have a back door?



Come out this way, Lionel.

No shame in therapy, is there, Althea?



Not at all. It takes guts, Lionel.



Maybe some of us don't need this crap.



And it's the Hubble Telescope,

not the Himball.



Jeez, what an asshole!



What do they want from me?



What have I done that's so wrong?



They act as if they don't have

their own peculiar things.



Everybody's got something

they're not so proud of. Even you, probably.



- Me more than most.

- Why are they ganging up against me?



- I think they're worried about you.

- It's the kids. It isn't Jeremy.



He had nothing to do with my coming to you,

except pay. He's always willing to pay.



He's extremely generous.



I am so humiliated that my own children

would threaten me.



How did they threaten you?



They said if I didn't get help,

they wouldn't deal with me any more.



- What do you think of that?

- Good kids.



You must come to the house

for dinner on Thursday.



Really? You think so?



Yes. Jeremy will be home for the weekend,

and you can meet the kids.



How are you doing, Ainge?



- Evening, Lily.

- Hey, Doc.






Tonight on "Unsolved Mysteries"...



She loved horses, but even though

Shelly Malone was an expert rider,



witnesses claim

she died in a freak riding accident.



Shelly's family thinks

the truth is very different.



In Indiana, a sudden storm

spells trouble for a motorcyclist.



Tragedy seems inevitable until a mysterious

lady in black appears from out of nowhere.



Join me. Perhaps you may be able

to help solve a mystery.



He had the tattoo that said "Naomi for ever",



but they're broken up,

so he has to have it removed.



But while it's healing, or whatever

you call it when a tattoo's removed,



he meets Heidi,

and it's serious, immediate love.



In no time he's gone from the most beautiful

actress to the most gorgeous model.



What do you mean, "In no time"?



- Three or four issues.

- Weekly or monthly?



Monthly. God!

How shallow do you think Brad is?



Why do I waste my time

telling you this stuff?



Why do you think you tell me?



Don't do that thing. Please, I beg of you.



- That shrink thing.

- It's a big part of the show.



You really need to let people smoke in here.

It's perverse.



What do they pay you to see me?



School doesn't pay you? What deal is that?



- It's called pro bono.

- Pro boner?



There was this article my friends and I read.

It was "   Signs He's Great in Bed".



- It was very fascinating.

- Where was this?



The "New York Times".



The first one was, he handles produce well.

Which we already knew.



- You have a lot of the signs.

- Been watching me in the supermarket?



Have women found you attractive?



I knew you wouldn't answer.



I've been thinking

about what you said the last time



about me trying to lose weight

and constantly not.



You said people would be happier

if they accept that some things don't change,



that it'd be some kind of a relief

or something.



Well, I guess I'm just a dumb bitch,

but how depressing is that moment?



The moment when you give up.



Skip's in!



Hi, Skip.






You're Doc Mumford. Skip Skipperton.



- How are you?

- Fine. OK. Pretty good.



I've been hoping we'd meet.

I've heard a lot about you.



Do you think we could...

Can I buy you a drink?






"Find the need and fill it,"

my dad used to say.



I guess a lot of dads say that,

but I did and it just took off.



No kidding. Panda Modem -

where did that come from?



Panda? I've always liked giant pandas.



I've seen them in the wild.

That's the kind of thing I can do... now.



I can do pretty much anything

I wanna do these days.



So now we make   % of the modems

in the market, which is pretty good.



When I was growing up, the timber business

was playing out. The town was dead.



Panda Modem changed all that.



Now just about everybody in town

works for me or depends on the company.



Which is kinda the problem.



Would you like another... whatever that is?



- No, I'm all right. It's grapefruit juice.

- Far out!



I'm gonna get another beer.



All right.



You want me to be your friend,

but that's not what's really going on.



You have some problems

and you want some therapy,



but it would be bad for Panda Modem stock

if word got out you had head problems.



- Can I ask a personal question?

- That's what I want.



- Have you thought about getting a wife?

- Yeah.



When Panda started to happen,

I was dating women from New York, LA...



They came out of the woodwork -

models, actresses, venture capitalists.



Not the kind who were interested in me

before I hit it big.



And I discovered that these girls

did not love me for myself.



The majority didn't even like me. But

they'd have gladly become Mrs Skipperton.



Can you imagine that? Marrying somebody

just because they've got money?



I gotta pee.



Can I ask you something?

This town is called Mumford.



Been that way since   ...    ...      right?



Here's the question.

Your name is Mumford too.



Is that the question?



You moved here from back east

and your name is the same as this town?



Far out!



Don't think I want you to do this for free.



We play it like friends,

but I'll pay you like a doctor.



- I understand.

- I have a lot of money.



- Know how much?

- I won't tell you what I've got.



- I've got three big ones.

- I'm impressed.



I couldn't make $  million ever.



No, no. I have $  billion.



- There you go.

- Thank you.



- Dr Mumford.

- Mr Crisp. I was looking for a ladder.



Could you come with me, please?



I should have come to your office.

I was gonna, but you walked in here.



That's all right.



My daughter, Sofie. She's got a problem.



- What's that?

- We're not sure.



We've been to doctors.

They all say different things:



Epstein-Barr virus,

Chronic Fatigue Symptom...



- Syndrome. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

- That's it.



- You know all about it?

- A little. There's debate about it.



Some people think it's all in her head.



It's been so bad, she had to move back

to Mumford and live with us.



- I'm not sure that's the best thing.

- Why?



A lot of reasons. Several different factors.

Would you see her, Doc?



Sure. Why don't you bring her

to my office at three tomorrow afternoon?



I'm not sure she'll come. She's in a mood.



You ever go to somebody's house?



Generally it doesn't work. Sends the wrong

message to people who need to change.



This is great. This is exactly what I wanted.



Skip, you must have people

to throw ball a with.



You'd be surprised. Most guys

have kids or wives or girlfriends.



It's not as easy as you think.



- You're the head. Are they busier than you?

- Like I said, everybody works for me.



It's not the same asking someone

to throw a ball. It's like an order.



Would you say... Let me think how to put

this... Is your problem that you're lonely?



- Don't you like this?

- Sure.



Most guys would kill

to have someone to do this with.



- Have you got a lot of friends?

- Lily and I talk a bit.



- You know Lily who runs the coffee shop?

- No. I've seen her. Good-looking woman.



- She's probably ten years older than you.

- Good-looking.



She lives downstairs from me.

Got a dog named Danny Ainge.



Really? Danny Ainge? I'm the only

person I know that likes Danny Ainge.



- Outside of Celtic fans and Phoenix.

- Well, there's Lily.



Did you know he was drafted

by the Blue Jays?



Know what kind of athlete you have to be

to be in the NBA and the majors?



- Amazing.

- Unbelievable.



Lily named her dog after him? Far out!



What kind of person

do you have to be to do this?



- What?

- This.



I would have traded any of it

to have made the Mumford High varsity.



- So, Henry Follett is a patient of yours?

- Yeah.



- He's my pharmacist.

- The guy's got some serious sex fantasies.



Pretty good, too. Lots of detail.

Nothing hard core.



Old-fashioned ones, from back when people

cared about atmosphere and character.



His fantasy life's better than his actual one,

so he's disappointed in the real thing.



- His wife got sick of it and left, took his kids.

- I wondered what happened to her.



But there's something powerful going on

I don't get. We've got work to do.



It's hit to the warning track!



In these fantasies, Henry Follett is played

by a handsome guy with biceps.



Can you image that?

Where his self-esteem has to be?



I'd like to move the guy to the point where

he gets to appear in his own fantasies.



- Dr Mumford.

- Mr Crisp.



This is my daughter, Sofie.



Have a seat.



Feel free to lie down. Most people do.



I'd better not. I'll fall asleep. It's too soon

for me to be sleeping with you.



- What can you tell me about this?

- Oh, Lord.



It's too exhausting

to tell you about my exhaustion.



I didn't wanna come. I'm not hopeful

but I couldn't take the look on my dad's face.



When did you start to feel this way?



About six months ago, I guess it is now.

God, it seems like years!



I'm embarrassed by it.



Before this, when I'd hear people talk about

this kind of thing, I thought it was bullshit.






You think that now.

You think it's a bunch of baloney.



- No.

- I saw it. I saw it in your eyes.



That's OK. Maybe it is.



My mother always says, "Everything

that's wrong with you is in your head. "



I suppose that's true.



When this started,

was there anything unusual in your life?



Change of job, living situation, a loss?



No, but it started one year to the day

after my divorce became final.



That's not too suspicious, is it?



It wasn't like I was feeling bad

about the divorce. Just the opposite.



As in, that's interesting. With enough clues

it's possible to figure these things out.



Even if you don't think it's real?



I don't know what's real and what isn't.

That's never been my strong suit.



But if you've had to give up the life

you were living, it's worth trying to fix.



- Maybe I can help you do that.

- What would you do?



We. We would try several things,

but I need to see you a lot.



I don't know. I barely made it today.



I'll come to you. We'll try a little walking.

We'll take it slow. You'll handle it.



I don't think I can afford it.

I don't want my dad paying.



We'll work it out.



You have the best answer for everything.



You seem so hopeful.

Are you always this sunny?



No one ever thought so.

You must bring it out.



I'm so happy that you came.



I'm so glad you invited me.



Sorry everything's in such an uproar.



Lots of big occasions coming up

and Christmas... is only eight months away.



I don't know what's keeping Jeremy.

He stays in the city three nights a week.



I guess I explained that.



I know Katie's here,

but I am not so sure about Martin.



I'm making dinner myself tonight,

so I'll have to leave you, I'm afraid.



I'm awful,

but could you please help yourself?



I just got a new copper saucière and it'll be

the death of us if I don't get back in there.



- You're the doctor, aren't you?

- You must be Katie.



Come here.



Quick! Come on.



Smith & Hawken, Scully & Scully,

Cuddledown, Linen & Lace,



Plow & Hearth, Victoria's Secret,



Wolferman's, Neiman Marcus,



Coldwater Creek, Norm Thompson, J Crew,



Sharper Image, Garnet Hill,

Hammacher Schlemmer.



You must be Martin.



- Is this him?

- I showed him.



Do you get it now? This is no joke.



Hi, kids.



Hi! Jeremy Brockett.



- You must be Dr Mumford of Mumford.

- Nice to meet you.



Sorry I'm late.

Traffic was a motherfucker. Have a drink.



It's exciting when it all comes to me.



Sometimes I order double

so I can see what I'll send for gifts.



- So now I have two of everything!

- Think you're gonna like this.



You know much about Cuban cigars?






I'll be back.



Makes the whole thing that much better.



Hold the flame a little bit below the end.



That's it. Now turn it slowly while you draw.



- You a man who likes to treat himself right?

- I've had my moments.



I am and I'm not ashamed of it. Nobody's

last words were, "I treated myself too well. "



"I should have spent more time at the office. "



Fill in the blank. I don't mind the office.

You only go round once.



So, like the Zens say, "Be here now. "



- What do you do?

- Althea didn't tell you?



We've been talking about her, mostly.



Well, in '   four of us left our firms and

formed an investment banking venture.



- We have    people working for us now.

- You've done well.



We've done very well.

You know anything about addiction, Doc?



A little.



Well, I'm addicted to winning. I say, when

you're in the red zone, you gotta score.



So, what do you think?



- Tastes good.

- No. I mean about Althea.



About her... behaviour.



- Think you can fix her up?

- What do you think's wrong with her?



She's gone weird, is what's wrong.

She's out of control.



Probably from living out here

in Mayberry RFD.



But you're the doctor. What do you think?



She seems very unhappy.



I think we all knew that, Professor.



The question, the real questionie is why?



- Do you know how to drive?

- Sure.



Got a licence?



- But no car?

- Don't need it.



I just got my licence two weeks ago.



- You're good.

- I been driving since I was   .



That would explain it.



- Can you help Mom?

- I'm trying.



Got to.



Nessa Watkins, she comes to you,

doesn't she?



You're treating her, right?



- What's wrong with her?

- Is she a friend of yours?



No. Sort of.



She's so screwed up. Always

starving herself when she's already skinny.



She could be cool, but all she does

is get wrecked and do all the guys.



A person's gotta hate themselves

to act like that.



You ever met a bigger shithead

than my stepfather?



- Thanks, Martin.

- Ainge! Ainge!



- Ainge!

- That's OK. Jeremy won't mind.



Do we run into the street?

No, I didn't think so.



Nice car! How's that place?



It's a pretty piece of land.



- And the Brocketts?

- Horror show.



- What did you do tonight?

- It was insane around here, man.



I had to call in the National Guard.



- Then I did my laundry and watched "  /  ".

- And...?



It was shocking. Did you know

that the government is wasteful?



You heard it here first. And being a

supermodel, Mumford, is no walk in the park.



- Why do you watch?

- There's no gentleman caller, Doc.



Not that I care. I've had it with men.



They're so fascinated by their own crap.



It took me four years to get the last one out.



These days, my idea of a hot date

is a long shower by myself before bed.



Now that, that feels good!



And you don't have to do all that listening.



Sorry, that's very insensitive.

I guess that's the story of your life.



- I'm not making any promises.

- We can turn back any time.



Boy, this should be interesting.



Mother, I want you to meet Dr Mumford.



- Mumford? Like the town?

- Yes. It's a pleasure meeting you.



- What's happening?

- We're going for a walk.



- Do you think it's a good idea?

- Dr Mumford does.



I've put myself completely in his hands...

for today, anyway.



- What kind of doctor are you?

- PhD, psychologist.



Not a real doctor.



- That's right, the fake kind.

- We better go, or I'm liable to bail out.



Nice meeting you.



Mom's such a cutie!



Usually people don't hate me

till they know me.



- You caught her in a good mood.

- Wow.



Doesn't bother me any more.

It's my dad and brother I worry about.



Maybe, but you're the one

whose ass is dragging.



- Is that the technical description?

- Is she against you getting help?



- We don't discuss it.

- Something's bothering her.



We've all disappointed her.

Me, especially, but my dad, of course.



She thinks my brother's OK,

but she didn't expect much.



It's what happens

when you "marry beneath yourself".



- Please forgive me.

- What?



Negative thinking makes everything difficult.

We have to talk only about positive things.



OK, then. Are you positive

your mother's a bitch?



Just kidding.



- Is this the treatment?

- Sorry.



'Cause, I'll tell ya,

none of the others have tried this approach.



- Just do it.

- I want you to tell me all your symptoms.



- I'm embarrassed. The list is so long.

- Be specific.



I'm tired all the time, obviously.

But then if I try to sleep, I have trouble.



My muscles ache, and my joints.

I feel like an old person.



Or like I did

back when I used to work out too hard.



What else?



Sore throat?



Low-grade fever, painful lymph glands...



Irritability? Forgetfulness? Depression?



Yes, yes and definitely yes.



Also, I get confused.



Yeah. Most people have that.

It's confusing here.



- Where?

- Life.



Did I mention the headaches?



- Did you get headaches before?

- Yeah.



More now? Or more severe?



They're about the same.

My marriage was one long headache!



The headaches may not

even be a part of this.



- I can give myself a headache instantly.

- Is that like a party trick?



All I need is

two conflicting thoughts at the same time.



Like I'll think,

"Taking these walks will help Sofie. "



Then I think, "Mumford, you just enjoy it.

You're kidding yourself about the benefits".



There. I've given myself a real whopper.



You actually address yourself by name

in your thoughts?



You think two opposing ideas

in your head causes damage?



Sometimes, yeah. Pulling in two different

directions makes tiny tears in our fabric.



Then my life has been

some kind of huge rip.



- Hey, Skip.

- Hey, Doc.



We're not supposed

to get together until Thursday...



That's all right. What's on your mind?



How many sessions have we had now, Doc?



Six. And it's been good.



Like we're two buddies,

hanging out, shooting the shit.






This is really hard.

Everything I wanna say is hard.



We're like friends, almost,

who trust each other.



I wanna tell you something,

but I need to ask you a question.



For me to tell you this thing...

I haven't told anybody about it.



It's the biggest secret I've got.



Sometimes it's best

to keep a few things for ourselves.



- You're a shrink. Can't I tell you everything?

- It's just a thought.



That relates to what I wanna ask you.



I've noticed that sometimes,

when we're hanging out,



throwing the ball or when we went bowling,

sometimes you'll...



...tell me things about your other patients.



Maybe that's all right. I don't know much

about psychology or therapy or ethics.



So, maybe there's something I missed.



You're concerned I can't be trusted.



I trust you. Definitely. No question.



But I'm concerned. You're not meant to tell

anyone your patients' problems, are you?



That is correct, Skip.

I'm gonna have to take a long look at that.



- OK, then. What I was gonna tell you...

- Knowing what you just said...



I trust you. You've listened to me

better than anybody, maybe ever.



- This secret, I can't stand it any more.

- OK.



I'll tell you as simple and direct as I can.



You understand this is a big secret,

between us?



You know I've got this gift

for certain kinds of machines?



You are Panda, monarch of modems.



Even though I make

  % of the world's modems,



I cannot make a connection

with a woman who could love me.



- Let's say that for now.

- It's true. Believe me.



So, do you know what I've been doing,

all alone in my workshop for two years?



Mr Find-the-Need-and-Fill-It.

How I spend my every solitary hour?






Go ahead. Guess.



- Jerking off?

- No! Although that's a good guess.



No, what I've been working on,

what no one has been able to create:



A virtually lifelike humanoid,



gender specific, anatomically functional...



...sexual surrogate slash companion.



- Slash what?

- Sexual surrogate slash companion.



- A doll?

- No, Doc, not a doll!



I am Panda Modem.

I'm talking about much more than a doll.



The world has never seen what

I'm talking about except in the movies.



- How's it coming?

- You don't think I'm insane?



- That's your secret, like a trade secret?

- No, Doc, a private secret.



It's psychotic. It's pitiful.

What am I? Dr Frankenstein?



- Aren't you repulsed?

- Sounds like a good idea.



- Really?

- Definitely.



Skip... that's not much of a secret.



It's not?



It's OK. It's just not something

to be ashamed of.



Maybe you don't want people knowing,

and it's safe with me,



but on the scale of dirty little secrets,

it'd give it a two.



You wanna know a secret?



I'll tell you a secret. This is just between us.



The secret, Skip, is this:



I am not now, nor have I ever been...



a psychologist.



We'd better get going. Just follow my light

and, Skip, watch your step.



- Who else knows?

- Just you.



It's time you did some talking, Dr Mum...



Wait a minute. That is your name, isn't it?



Damn! What is your name?



- It doesn't matter. Call me Doc.

- It matters to me.



- I've told you a lot of private stuff.

- I can tell you anything else.



What about everything else?

How did this happen?



Every species of mammal has found some

way to drug, inebriate or anaesthetise itself,



even if it's just banging its head

against a rock.



Seems to be some natural urge

to get away for a while.



I've had it for as long as I can remember.



When I got a scholarship to go to college,



I was the first in my family

to go beyond high school.



My folks looked like a normal couple, which

they were   % of the time, out in public.



My roommate was from a planet

I had never heard of, called Scarsdale.



Come on in, bro!



The other kids

seemed to know things I didn't.



In four years, I never got over feeling

that I'd sneaked in



and was about to be exposed

as the hillbilly and impostor I was.



The thing that always made those feelings

go away was fun: Drugs, sex.



The only problem I had with degenerate

behaviour was I couldn't get enough of it.



Over the next few years,

I had some challenging jobs.



Pump jockey, pizza delivery,

pipe fitting, pest control.



Lots of jobs that started with a P.

For some reason, I kept losing these jobs.



Eventually, doing all these jobs,

I noticed something.



For some reason,

probably because I was too stoned to talk,



everywhere I went, people would talk to me.



My brother started molesting me.



They'd tell me everything.



My real dad? Who have I been living with?



Their problems, their innermost thoughts.



Sometimes they'd pretend they needed

advice, but most wanted someone to listen.



Told you she left me?

She'd just eat away at me.



Anyway, one day I was spraying

for termites, when I had a vision.



It was time to use my degree

and get a job with a desk.



I took the civil service exam

and found myself working at the IRS,



district    Central Administrative Office.



I started as a clerk,

but I took advancement tests.



There was more money to be made.



It appealed to me because,

though I was sure I could stop any time,



I had developed an addiction to cocaine -

the best hobby I ever had.



That is allowed!



But I didn't wanna be a revenue officer

where you were getting abused all day.



And being one of the collection cowboys

had no appeal.



But there was one job

that looked like it might be fun: Investigator.



Your last job

before becoming a psychologist



was an investigator

for the Internal Revenue Service?



- Everybody has a story.

- Seems like you got the variety pack.



What it felt like was a series

of separate, unconnected lives.



Every time I left a life, it felt good.

Whatever problems I had were gone.



I had no friends, didn't talk to my family.

The only constant force in my life was drugs.



An IRS investigator with a drug problem.



I got teamed

with this fanatic named Gregory.



He always got his man, whether

they deserved it or not. He was a closer.



Then the collection guys would clean up.

Our speciality was sleazy skulking.



We were a great team. I was a dope addict

and Gregory was insane.



Him being insane didn't make it OK

that I fell in love with his wife, Candy.



Holy shit!



Get to know your therapist.



- You were messed up, man!

- Things got a lot worse.



The way to get money out of taxpayers

is to intimidate them,



which meant building up a convincing case

whether they'd done anything wrong or not.



Our manager was pushing us hard to make

a case against a furniture maker, Warris.



Gregory started acting

more and more irrational.



We were breaking into their warehouse,

files, doing things that were over the line.



Looking back, I'm sure

Gregory knew about Candy and me.



It probably made him even crazier.



What was scary was, on our team,

I had become the responsible one.



When the case looked like collapsing,



the manager put the squeeze

on Warris's accountant, Gorbeck.



Few accountants have nothing

to worry about. Gorbeck decided to help.



Warris said he'd done nothing wrong

and threatened to fight it all the way.



He didn't expect his accountant

to turn on him.



The manager stepped up the pressure.



We didn't know

that Edmund Warris had a story, too.



He'd been fighting

chronic depression for    years.



During the investigation,

he fell off his medication.



One Tuesday morning, he went down

to the factory, wrote his family a letter...



then used a.  mm automatic

they kept there to kill himself.



The district manager decided to blame us.



He started proceedings

to get rid of Gregory and me.



Gregory went home drunk

and beat up Candy.



Candy said she didn't wanna see me again.

She hated us and was leaving us both.



It made perfect sense to me.



A decent man was dead

and some of it was my fault.



Whatever this was, it felt like... the bottom.



I wanted to leave, too, just like Candy,

get as far away from...


            as possible.



And so you did.



- And the drugs?

- Harder than I thought.



On my third try,

I found a place in the desert



that was run by an order of monks.



And it worked.



What about the name? Mumford. Why pick

the name of the town you were going to?



You got it backwards. I had the name

when I started looking for a place.



When I saw the town on a map,

I thought it was a sign.



See, Mickey Mumford was in Miss Rice's

kindergarten class with me.



He was killed with his parents

on their way back from a Steelers' game.



He was only six.

There's a birth certificate but not much else.



A birth certificate is enough?



It all flows from that.

What doesn't can be purchased.



My IRS training helped. There's not much

data you can't access and use.



In a free society,

you are who you say you are.



If you've screwed up one life,

sometimes you get another shot.



Be back.



But you studied psychology?

Did the training, just never get the degree?



- No. No training.

- Psych major?



English Lit.



Jeez, man! But you're good at it.



I understand what it's like to wanna leave

a problem behind. That's all people want.



Mainly, I listen.



- Somebody's taking a shower down there.

- That'd be Lily.



I wish I could live in the shower.

I'd take five a day, if I had the time.



I went to this spa in Germany

up on this mountain.



- The great thing, they kept you wet all day.

- Who'd you go with?



That's not good.



So, we get onto this steam-engine train

that runs up into the mountains,



and this trip is everything

it's supposed to be.



We're chugging along in this open car,

great views, mountain air blowing through.



We'd been married, at this point, four years.



He turns to me and for a second

he looked the way he did when we first met,



and he says how he likes it better

when I wear my hair back.



That wasn't so good.



You're doing great.



- Don't know if I'll make it the whole way.

- It doesn't matter. Go on.



This makes me sound irrational, but

there was something about him saying this.



It was the millionth time he'd told me about

some preference, and I was so tired of it.



Seems like my whole life someone has been

telling me I'm just not getting it right.



Can we rest for a second?



You're purposely

making me talk while we do this,



because you think this is good for me.



- And you're a sadistic bastard.

- Yes.



Who thinks there's nothing wrong with me.



There's something wrong, especially

after hearing about your Roto-Rooter dream.



- That was pretty bad.

- Disgusting.



I'll bet you can interpret the whole thing?



It's pretty obvious to a trained professional.



I hate those dreams

where everything means something.



- Is that when you split up?

- No.



A good story, but it was just the beginning.

We went on for a year.



- Whose route is this?

- Brady Peck's.    years old. Lives next door.



- And he's where?

- Down state at Jamboree, five days. Why?



A gal could make a living doing this.



How hard could it be

squeezing out some   -year-old?



- You like it?

- It's all right.



Then expect me tomorrow morning at  .  .



- This is legitimate therapy?

- Hell, no. I just don't wanna do it alone.



There's no way this behaviour

can be seen as anything



but completely inappropriate

and unprofessional.



I don't wanna tell you

how to run your businesses...



- Practices.

- Whatever.



Six months ago,

you were the only shrinks in town.



I'm a psychiatrist. Dr Sheeler

is a psychologist, like Dr Mumford.



That's fascinating.



My point is, the value of your practices

could be seriously undermined by this bozo.



There are only so many head cases.



- What would you have us do, Lionel?

- Protect your turf.



Check this guy out. I smell a rat.



Mr Dillard, I'm sure Dr Delbanco

shares my gratitude for your concern,



but you misunderstand

our calling to mental health.



We're not in some widget business

trying to crush our competition.



What the hell is a widget?



Why do I waste my time?



What an asshole!



Ernest, what do you think?



I think he's got a point.



I found work my first day out, down

at old man Sutter's gas station and diner.



Back at the boarding house,

I heard a load of yelling



and I got my first look

at the landlady's daughter.



Don't walk away from me, young lady!



Lucky for me she was plenty upset

but not too careful.



Or maybe it wasn't an accident at all.



Mr Follett.



For I saw the beginning

of a vixen's smile and I knew...



- Henry!

- What?



- Stop now.

- Why? I'm paying for this.



- Not me, you're not.

- You find it distasteful.



Doesn't matter how I feel. It's how you feel.



I enjoy it. Does that make me

some kind of deviant?



- Just because I have a rich imagination?

- You didn't come for that.



- No?

- You came because it's taking over.



- You're in its grip.

- I never said that.



Where's your wife, Henry?



- Where's your wife?

- Go to hell.



I didn't hear you.



I thought we were talking about me.



We got divorced.



I had to get rid of her.

She couldn't satisfy me.






I was never satisfied.



Now we're back on track.



What's that?



You are so mean.



- That is such a wicked look.

- What is it, Nessa?



Look at those legs.

This chick is    feet tall!



That's the body I'm getting. I've ordered it.



Whoa! This dress

has to be surgically applied.



Where is this beach

where everyone has good teeth?



- What do you want me to see?

- Just chill for a second.



Look at this guy. Gorgeous,

although clearly not of this earth.



Excellent pecs, mutant cheekbones...



Where are you going? I'm showing you

something. I just need to find the thing.



- If you don't want a session, it's OK.

- I wanna have the session.



I thought I'd show you things that interest

me. We could share, as they say.



But I guess not, which we already knew.



- What happened?

- What do you mean?



- Did something happen at school?

- These appointments were not my idea.



True. Should we stop them?



I don't think

you know what you're talking about.



This shrink school you went to,

did you hear about it on an infomercial?



I wanna live in the world

that these people are in.



No one ever says anything in there.

Have you noticed? So they're all very cool.



Like they're all really deep.



It's when people start talking

that everything goes to shit.



There's this kid at school - Martin Brockett.



He has some gigantic idea of himself

that no one else shares.



You wouldn't believe the crap he lays on me.

Who appointed him my guide?



If he has everything so figured out,

how come his best friend's a.    rifle?



And why does he spend all his time

chasing after me?



- Probably thinks I'll give him a hummer.

- Do you think that's what he wants?






I don't know what he wants,

but I know I don't like being watched.



No one's ever paid any attention

to what I did and I liked it fine.



Where does he get off telling me

I disrespect myself? Fuck him!



Look in the mirror, bozo!



Hello. Good to see you.



I'm Lily.



What's the deal?



Hey. They come through several times

a year. Good to see you again!



- Where am I supposed to eat?

- You're on your own today.






- Hey, Doc.

- I want you to meet Skip. Skip, Lily.



- It's a pleasure to meet you.

- Me too. I was at your house.



Upstairs with Doc. It's a very nice place.

I heard your shower.



I see you going by on your board.

You're so young to be so...



- What?

- So rich?



So accomplished.



I may be young, but Doc can tell you,

I'm very immature.



- So, is this like a Japanese restaurant?

- I'd better go. Sorry.



- That's a lot of people all at once.

- They pre-order. Choice of three entrées.



What are they?



Meatloaf, turkey quesadillas

and Salade Niçoise.



- Salad Niçoise? I love Salade Niçoise!

- You do?



- Well... Come on in.

- Far out!



Dr Mumford.



- Dr Delbanco. Nice to see you again.

- This is Dr Sheeler, the other therapist here.



- I've heard great things about you.

- Thank you.



You never got back to me.

We'd like to take you out for a meal.



- Kind of a professional welcome.

- Forgive me, please. We must do that.



- When?

- I'll call you when I have my calendar.



- What are you doing for lunch?

- Right now?



...annihilation anxieties

because of a depriving mother,



but either way,

no one can escape the fear of death.



It is, as William James put it,

"the worm at the core".



Try as we may to ignore our own mortality,

"the skull will grin in at the banquet".



I've run on. We're here to talk about you.



Are we?



What Ernest means, I think, is

we're very interested in other methodology.



We're great believers

in learning from each other.



I've learned so much from Ernest.

Dr Delbanco.



And I from Phyllis.



So, the University of Kentucky,

who runs the programme?



My mentor was an amazing teacher

named Benton Mandlebaum.



Died quite tragically

in the collapse of a gazebo.



Your extended training

was at an institution in that area?



Lots of institutions.



My graduate advisor believed we should

experience prisons, clinics, halfway houses.



For a while I was chief therapist

at a shopping mall.



- Interesting approach. What was his name?

- Dorothy Fowler. Fantastic woman.



She passed last year in a train wreck.



Damned Amtrak.



I trained in the east. Cornell. Whatever

anyone says, there are regional differences.



I found the state certification exams

here harrowing.



Yeah, very tough, but I guess that's good.

Keep out the quacks.



- Which examiner did you have?

- Wallace Franklin from Greensburg.



That was a terrible thing.



I don't know why hang-gliding

is even considered a sport.



We're interested in new therapies.

How would you characterise your approach?



- My approach?

- Yes, your particular approach.



I don't have one, really.

Most of the time, I'm faking it.



There's not much that can be done

about most problems.



They're too deep-rooted

by the time I hear them.



The most I can do, usually,

is look and listen real closely



and try to catch some glimpse

of the secret life everybody's got.



If I can get a sense of that, then maybe,

just maybe I can help them a little.



I see.



- The argument had nothing to do with it.

- What was it about?



I'd ordered

the     greatest books ever written.



- What are they?

- All the great writers.



Shakespeare, Dickens, Moby Dick.

Those people.



-     books?

- It's irrelevant. It had nothing to do with it.



- What happened?

- We argued on Sunday.



He went to work on Monday

and stayed in the city,



but on Thursday,

when he normally comes home, he didn't.



- He didn't call till Saturday.

- You were concerned.



It's happened before.

I am shocked by how little I'm feeling.



I don't understand this.



I'll probably have

a complete depressoid collapse soon.



- Won't I?

- Doubtful. What did he say?



He said he wasn't coming back. He said

it hadn't worked for him for quite a while.



Do you know what I regret the most?



I am sorry I let him

make the kids take his name!



He was an acquirer.

He liked to acquire things.



You think that has

something to do with my problem.



Ordering all those things.

Like I was on a campaign to out-acquire him.



If I was just an acquisition to him

and he lost interest once he had me...



Can't be it. It's too simple. And I still like it.



This morning,

I ordered a marble turtle cheeseboard.



Can I tell you something? You know how

assholes look at a woman with problems



and say,

"What she needs is a good schtupping!"



There may be something to that.

Jeremy didn't keep up his end.



What difference does it make?



Why do I feel elated?



Am I in denial?



You know what this feels like?



- Time's up, but I've gotta get this out.

- Take your time.



In high school, the thing that I wanted most,



the thing I was desperately

in pursuit of, was a hall pass.



I loved moving freely around the school

while everybody else was trapped in there.



That's how I feel right now,

like I have some giant all-day hall pass.



My God. Did it just get hot in here?



I'll see you next time.

I'll probably be a basket case by then.



- You can use the back if you like.

- No shame in getting a little therapy.



Hello, Mr Follett.



Have a good session.









Hey, Doc!



Hey, Doc.



Thanks, Jennifer. I'll take him from here.



I'm glad you came.

I've never brought anyone down here before.



I'm honoured.



It's just me, Dino.



Skip, I've got a problem and I need advice.



You want my advice?



Far out!



I hope nothing you're about to see

will shake your faith in me.



Pretty creepy, huh?



Are you totally disgusted?



Skip, you're a visionary.

That can be a burden.



This doesn't seem perverse?



Somebody's gonna figure this out someday.



I'm really not comfortable here.

Can we go somewhere... more private?



- It's not gonna be me. I'm giving it up.

- Really?



Skip, you are so amazing!



It's all your fault. In the last    hours,

I've completely lost interest.



- What did I do?

- Lily.






- That's great! You and Lily?

- Far out!



She doesn't know yet. Of the two of us,

I'm the only one in love, but I'm really stoked.



Doc, how can I be of help to you?









- I'm here for you, Doc.

- Skip...



You know that it's improper, unethical,



for a psychologist to have a romantic

relationship with one of his patients?



- I guess that makes sense.

- Yes. Yes, it does.



You've fallen in love

with one of your patients?



- Doc, it's not me, is it?

- What?



No, Skip, it's not you, but I like you a lot.



Doc, what about this?



You're not really a licensed psychologist.



I guess that doesn't help.

I see where you're going here. It's a mess.






Everyone who could corroborate his story

has recently died some exotic death.



- They're neither recent nor exotic.

- They are dead.



And yes, personally, I find it a bit odd.



It could happen.

The certification exams seem in order.



What's easier than hacking into a state

computer and putting in numbers?



- Maybe he didn't even take the exams.

- That's true.



I don't know it's that easy...



Doctor, it sounds like you've bought his story

hook, line and bull-twaddle!



You seem more disposed to him

than I understand. Did I miss something?



For God's sakes, we have no reason to

doubt him! Are we listening to Lionel now?!



Phyllis... Phyllis...






- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout.

- No, no. It is I who am sorry, Dr Delbanco!



I am sorry to have wasted your time...

with such...






Stop it! He's a kid. I'm old enough to be his...



...his big sister!



- Dr Mumford. Please come on in.

- Hello. I was wondering if Sofie was around.



The wood is different here.

It's not as consistent as it is in some events.



- Did you have a session?

- It's spur-of-the-moment.



Look who's here!



- You've met Sofie's mother.

- Mrs Crisp.



- We've met.

- And this is our son, Ben.



- It's a real honour. Have a seat.

- Actually, I can't. Could I see Sofie?



- I insist. I've been wanting to meet you.

- Sofie's not here.



Her friend from the city took her to dinner.

First time she's been willing.



We owe it to you. She has perked up a lot.



- What do you want?

- There's something we need to talk about.



- What?

- Elizabeth!



- We have a right.

- We do not!



- Keep it zipped, Ben!

- Is there something we need to know?



Yes, I guess I should tell you.

I don't think I can treat Sofie any more.



- Finally, some common sense.

- What do you mean?



- You know.

- No, I don't.



- You do.

- Tell me.



- Go to hell. It's a bunch of nonsense.

- I'm telling you, stop.



You're telling me? That's rich!



I'd better go.



Why can't you see Sofie?

The treatments are working.



- The problem is...

- You're a big fake!



You haven't got a clue

what's wrong with that girl.



- Wow, you're something.

- Take a hike, Dr Quack.



Doctor, what is the problem?



Problem? I guess there is no problem.



- This friend, where did he take her?

- She. Roxy. I think they went to the Lantern.



Roxy. Excellent.






Hi. Is Mr Follett around?



- What is it?

- It's a thought I had.



Should I open it now?



Let me say something.

I have no idea if this'll help.



What exactly is it supposed to do?



Some imagery is haunting you

and getting in your way.



- I don't necessarily agree.

- But you did come to me.



These images were burned

into your brain when you were young.



If we could nail down the exact fantasies,

maybe you could get past them.



- Anyway, I thought we'd try an experiment.

- The experiment's in here?






I think this was a dumb idea. I just heard

myself and realised I'm unqualified for this.



- Let's just forget it.

- Whoa, whoa.



I wanna know what's in here.



There's no reason to think

this is gonna have any impact on you.



You don't know what you're talking about.

That's what I said all along.



I can guarantee that looking at the Lost Ark

here won't mean diddly to me.



But if you think I'll let you walk out

without seeing what's in this box,



then you don't know Henry A Follett.



- Mr Follett?

- What?



What is so important

I can't have five minutes?



It's her, sir. You told me to get you

when she came to pick up her prescription.



I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...

I really appreciate what you...



- I can't thank you enough.

- My pleasure.



I'll see you on...






- Hello, Henry.

- Hello, Mrs Brockett.



Please. Althea.



When I was in high school,

we used to come up here and make out.



- I liked to watch the sun go down.

- I like that.



- Which thing?

- Either one.



Why did you come to the house?



I thought I had something to tell you,

but I didn't.



- My brother said you were firing me.

- That's one way to put it.



I know what changed your mind. My mother.

She's so horrible, you couldn't desert me.



She made me appreciate your father.

He's my new hero.



He was, actually, a hero.



My dad, when he was in the coast guard,

risked himself to save three people.



I know why you were gonna quit seeing me.



You feel like a fake, an impostor,

as if you don't know what you are doing.



Everybody feels that way sometimes,

like we're not who we're supposed to be.



But, I have to tell you, Dr Mumford,

you have been a tremendous help to me.



- Yeah?

- I admire you. You're very insightful.



I feel like you've seen me clearly.



I never used to admit how horrible

my mother is. You made that possible.



- That's good?

- Yes. And my ex-husband.



He never accepted me for who I was.



You've helped me understand

what a dick he is!



You're shockingly honest.

That's what makes you great.



I've never had a man treat me this way.

With you, I feel really listened to.



Can I tell you something? It's embarrassing,

but I feel unguarded with you.



Of course.



Thanks to this therapy...

I now know what I am looking for.



I need to find a man like you.



Not one who's treating me, of course.



And I'm gonna do it, damn it!

You have given me the confidence.



Sofie... that makes me very happy.



Doc, the dude is seriously deluded.

I said that to him.



"If you think I'll do that shit for you,

you are seriously deluded. "



- What did he say?

- He said, "Which we already knew. "



- What did he want you to do?

- First he tells me to stop smoking.



I told him, "Abso-fucking-lutely no",

as you can see.



Then he says stop smoking dope. No again.



Then he says he doesn't want me

going with any other guys.



What balls on this guy!

Are we going steady? Jesus!



- No again?

- I said I'd consider it.



The last thing was insane.



I don't know why,

but he wants me to give up magazines.



- Really?

- I don't know if I can quit.



We're gonna try it together,

like AA or something.



I made him give up his.   . No more

sneaking round with this fucking nut gun.



- He agreed?

- He's pitiful, Doc, a goddamn puppy.



I don't know how long I can put up with it.



I've already got arms and legs.

I don't need another appendage.



Gotta go.



- Hiya, Doc.

- Martin.



- Did you straighten her out?

- How are you?



Extremely excellent. Didn't you hear?

My family just got     times better.



Let's go, Vanessa.



- Dr Mumford?

- I didn't notice you there. Can I help you?



My name's Gilroy.

I'm from the State Certification Board.



It's all right. It won't bite you.



Under Civil Code     .  b,

you're entitled to be notified



that your status and certification

are being reviewed.



- Do you wanna come in?

- No, thanks.



Plenty of time for that

when we're a little further along.



Mr Gilroy?



- What brought this on?

- I'm not at liberty to say.



Sometimes it's just routine. Sometimes

it's a complaint. We'll be in touch.



When you said at lunch

about everybody having a secret life,



something snapped inside me.



I knew I could no longer continue

my relationship with Dr Sheeler.



Phyllis wasn't getting what she needed.



What started as a genuine respect

for each other's professional abilities,



and became a personal attraction,



had somehow migrated

into a rather torrid sexual relationship that...



I won't get into that today, although, if we

continue these sessions, and I hope we will,



there are some aspects of that

I'd like to take a look at.



I've listened to enough people

giving me the juicy...



At any rate, I wanted to acknowledge the

catalysing effect your comment had on me.



I just hope it doesn't come roiling back

upon you like some dreadful undertow.



- How do you mean?

- Well...



You see, when I broke it off with Phyllis,

she was upset,



and she became even more determined

to pursue certain doubts she's harboured.



- What kind of doubts?

- About you.



Your background, your qualifications.



I'm afraid Phyllis somehow

got you mixed up in her fury with me



and took the whole issue to the State Board.



I see.



- There's good news, though.

- What?



Phyllis has decided

to pursue her practice in the city,



which leaves you

the only psychologist in town.



Dr Sheeler is leaving Mumford?

Sorry to hear that.



As you can imagine,

my own feelings are mixed...



unlike, I must say, those of my wife!



Old man Sutter's young bride

had got me in hot water,



and now I was being dealt

the beating of my life.



If there'd just been two of them,

it would have been closer.



The landlady was good at quite a few things,

but doctoring wasn't one of 'em.



Lucky for me, one of the other boarders,



the broad who lived downstairs

in the front room... was a nurse.



She had ways to make you feel better

they didn't teach in nursing school.



I'm very happy for you.

I feel like we're making real progress.



Me, too, Doc. I can't tell you

what that package meant to me.



- Hi.

- I need to talk to you... Doctor.



- Can I come in?

- Of course.



We haven't met here since the first time.



This is how a real professional

and his client see each other.



It might have been more appropriate if we

had followed a more traditional approach.



Is something wrong, Sofie?



- Something is very wrong, Dr Mumford.

- You're upset.



How intuitive. That must take

years of training right there.



- Maybe you can guess what has upset me.

- Is it something you've heard about me?



No, it is not something... Is there something

I should have heard about you?



Why don't you tell me what's on your mind?



- May I?

- Sure.



I'm just gonna come right out and say this.



That's what your shrink is for,

to say what's bothering you.



First of all,

I have been feeling much better.



I don't know if the syndrome is over,

or if it's run its course,



but I feel    % better

than when I came to you.



- I'm glad.

- Given that...



- I'm not going to judge things properly.

- I don't follow you.



I'm saying

that since I am doing so much better,



which I attribute to you, I am liable

to misinterpret some of my feelings.



The point is this: I am not a blank page.



I did not just fall off the turnip truck.

Know what I mean?



I know a little about psychology.

I took three courses in college.



None were above the     level,

but I took them.



- And one concept I remember very well.

- What was that?






- Transference.

- Yes, and that is what I have got right now.



I have taken my feelings of gratitude

and relief and transferred them onto you.



I have taken

all those warm, grateful emotions



and confused them with feelings for you,



so now I am under the delusion that...



...I am in love with you.









You can understand why I have

serious questions about your methods.



Obviously, it's much more likely

that I'll have confusion about this



when your idea of treatment

is to go walking in the woods



and do these highly romantic activities!



We had a paper route together,

for God's sake!



Do you understand how I might be resentful,



knowing that this so-called love I'm feeling

is totally bogus



and just a pathetic case of...









Maybe you ought to think

about how you're gonna fix this.



And when you do, please get back to me.












Doc... I don't want you to be mad at Skip.



He told you?



Skip and I wouldn't have got together

if not for you. That's a big deal.



- You'd have met in some shower eventually.

- I wanna give you something.



- OK.

- Here it is.



Some advice. Do the hard thing.



- That's it?

- Clean up the mess, no matter what it takes.



- What it might take is doing time.

- Too bad. That's tough. I mean it.



I'm not unsympathetic,

but Skip says you're in love.



- Yep.

- Then it's worth it.



I'll tell her tonight.



Tonight on "Unsolved Mysteries"...



Recently, a series of spectacular sightings

had Arizona buzzing about UFOs and aliens.



The military said the lights were just flares,

but eyewitnesses say it just isn't so.



Sharon Kinney knew what she wanted.



What she wanted most was sex and money.

But would she kill for the big payoff?



A drug rehabilitation centre in the desert,

run by reclusive monks,



becomes a point of departure

in a mysterious vanishing,



as a government investigator

disappears without a trace.



Join me and perhaps you can solve

one of tonight's unsolved mysteries.



Implementing dangerous undercover

operations in the Internal Revenue Service.



Treasury department. Open up!



But perhaps the pressure was too great.



Despite brilliant promise

as a fearless investigator,



he found himself in a downward spiral

of drug abuse and disillusion.



We didn't talk much after our folks died,

but I know he felt his life took a wrong turn.



I got the feeling he fell in with a bad crowd.



His former partner at the IRS is now

a trooper with the Pennsylvania State Police.



The guy didn't always know

where to draw the line,



but I would have trusted him

with my wife. Life! What did I say?



Both, actually. I can't say

I was surprised when he disappeared.



Who was this enigma? A courageous

public servant or a debauched addict?



Either way, his last known stop was here,



isolated in the Arizona desert,

taken in by an order of devoted monks.



We don't talk about people

who've been our guests,



but I can tell you this about our order:



We believe everybody

has the right to start over.



Everybody deserves a second chance.



Perhaps that is exactly the chance

the now-sober pilgrim took,



on a November day, walking from the rehab

centre, never to be heard from again.



I'd like to know if he's alive.



If he is, I just hope he's happy

and his new life is...



Well, I hope he's found

what he was looking for.



If you have information about this man,



or know anything about his whereabouts,

contact your local police,



or the Sheriff's Department

in Cochise County, Arizona.



Well, look who's here!



- Good evening, Mrs Crisp.

- Who is here?



- Can I see Sofie, please?

- You cannot.



I wouldn't know who to say it was. I saw

through you from the start, you impostor!



- I know what you're after!

- Mother!



- What do you think I'm after?

- Sofie! It's so obvious!



You're after my daughter!



I gotta say, Mrs Crisp, you're right.



- It'll never happen. You're in big trouble!

- Mother. Go away!



- I guess you saw the show?

- Which show?



- Sofie.

- Part of it.



We were watching "ER"

till someone called.



You probably got the idea.



- Do you know what a betrayal this is?

- Yes.



- How violated I feel?

- Yes. You're not the only one.



- You feel violated?

- Not me.



My other patients.

I smelled tar and feathers on the way here.



- You deserve it!

- You're right.



I should be irate!



I am irate!



- But?

- But nothing!



- This is a terrible thing you've done.

- Please believe me, I know that.



There's just one thing I want you

to consider before you write me off.



- What?

- Will you think about it?



- I don't know. I'm in a bad mood.

- I love you...



more than I've ever loved anyone

or anything in my life.



I wanna spend the rest of my life with you,

my real life.



But I don't know if you feel the same way.



I sort of do.



- But first you have to tell me something.

- Anything. Just ask.



What is your name?



The defendant will rise.



Sit down, Lionel.



Do you understand

how serious are these crimes?



I do.



Do you realise how insidious it is

to invade the most private thoughts



and secret lives of unsuspecting people,



people who have come to you with the faith

that you know what you're doing



and are who you say you are?



Yes, Your Honour.



Many of your patients

have come forward with praise for you



and your therapeutic skills.



- That means nothing to me. Understand?

- Yes.



I am frustrated

that the Criminal Code in this state



allows a maximum sentence

of only six months



and a maximum fine of only $    .



- I'm sorry.

- What?



- I'm sorry you're frustrated.

- Are you disrespecting this court?



No, ma'am. I was empathising. Sorry.



Maybe you can empathise with this.



Maximum fine, three months in jail,

three months house arrest.



Sentence to begin immediately

at the Orchard Valley Correctional Facility.



Case closed. This court is adjourned.



It's a country club. Don't worry about it.



- Thanks, Lionel.

- Congratulations, Doc.



- Mr Crisp.

- I'll have him out in half the time.



I'm very impressed by all that you've done.



- You got off easy.

- Will you wait for me?



We're only talking about weeks.



- Will you be here?

- I'll be here.



I haven't got the energy

to get out of town that fast.



Get comfortable. We got a three-hour drive.



I'm fine.



- You're the shrink, aren't you?

- No, not really.



- But you do therapy?

- Not any more.



You've helped people in this town?



I couldn't really say,

but that's all over now.



I tell you, Doc, the wife and I,

we got a bit of a problem.



Mind if I just ran it by you?



Go ahead.


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