Muppet Treasure Island Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Muppet Treasure Island script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Jim Henson movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Muppet Treasure Island. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Muppet Treasure Island Script





I was Flint's first mate

that voyage...



three days east of Tortola

in the Caribie.



Flint knew an island.



That's where we buried

the treasure.



Gold and blood,

they were Flint's trademarks.



He'd leave both

behind him that day.



Shiver my timbers

Shiver my soul



Yo ho, heave ho



There are men whose hearts

are as black as coal



Yo ho, heave ho



And they sailed their ship

'cross the ocean blue



A bloodthirsty captain

and a cutthroat crew



It's as dark a tale

as was ever told



Of the lust for treasure

and the love of gold



Shiver my timbers

Shiver my sides



Yo ho, heave ho



There are hungers as strong

as the winds and tides



Yo ho, heave ho



And those buccaneers

drown their sins in rum



The devil himself would

have to call them scum



Every man aboard would have

killed his mate



For a bag of guineas

or a piece of eight



A piece of eight



-A piece of eight

-A five, six, seven, eight



Hulla wacka, ulla wacka

Something not right



Many wicked icky things

gonna happen tonight



Hulla wacka, moolah wacka

Sailor man beware



When de money in de ground

Dere's murder in de air



Murder in the air



One more time now.



Shiver my timbers

Shiver my bones



Yo ho, heave ho



There are secrets that sleep

with old Davy Jones



Yo ho, heave ho



When the mainsail's set

and the anchor's weighed



There's no turning back

from any course that's laid



And when greed and villainy

sail the sea



You can bet your boots

there'll be treachery



Shiver my timbers

Shiver my sails



Dead men tell no tales



Oh, aye. Fifteen men

went ashore that day...



and only Flint, his own self,




Oh, aye, and then old Flinty...



up and died afore they could get

back to that cursed island...



and dig up the treasure.



No one knows to this day

who has old Flint's map.



Now, isn't that a story

worth the hearing?



It was the first dozen

times we heard it.



I'll drink to that.



But who has

the map now, huh?



Some black-hearted,

squid-suckin' buccaneer?



Or maybe it's

our very own Jim Hawkins.






If I had it, my friends and I wouldn't

be here serving you rum, Mr Bones.



That's right. We'd be out

searching for that treasure...



sailing the seven seas

on a five-year mission...



boldly going where no man

has gone before.



- Say, that's catchy.

- Huh. Not me.



If I had that treasure map,

I'd be tradin' it for a decent meal.



Hey, Gonzo, you think

he's gonna eat this?



Aye! Beware the one-legged man!

He's the one to fear!



Don't worry, Captain.

We'll watch for him.



Yeah, I'll watch for him,

if he's deliverin' a pizza.



Even old Flinty

feared him.



If he comes pokin' 'round here,

you run for me whippety-quick!



- If we see him, we'll tell you.

- Yeah. One leg, three heads...



couple of dozen noses--

if anything weird happens--



And it'll be nay

jokin' matter, hose nose.



The one-legged man

brings death.



Time, gentlemen!



It's closing time!



Ya pays your bills,

and then ya shove off.



Go on. Out ya go!



Oh, you're drunk again,

are ya?



Boys, look at the state

of this place!



How comes it gets to be

such a pigsty, huh?



Pigsty? Hey!



No offence meant, gentlemen, sirs.

No offence meant.



- Here's to you, boys!

- Time!



- I'm away to my room.

- Thank you, Mr Bones.



- Thank you, Bill.

- There you go!



Don't forget to come back tomorrow

for our lunchtime special:



- roast suckling--

- Huh?



- Potatoes, sir. Potatoes.

- All right.



No-- No offence, madam.

No offence.



All right, boys.



When you're finished here,

you can go and clean up in the kitchen.



I left some table scraps

in there for your supper.



Oh, yes, and, boys...



last night you forgot

to put out the lantern!



If you forget that again,

there'll be no table scraps for a week!



You're standing on my ear.



Easy. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Easy, Rizzo!



Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That's it. Steady.



- I hate my life.

- I hate your life too.



- If I had a life, I'd hate it.

- I should just run off to sea

like my father did.



He was my age when he sailed

to China as a cabin boy

and he wound up a first mate.



Run off to sea

and just leave everybody?



Who's everybody?

I'm an orphan. I've got no family.



- Hey, you got us!

- Yeah, we're family. Got it.



I mean, some family we are. Be serious,

Rizzo. We don't exactly look alike.



Okay, all right. So I'm a rat and you're

a human being and Gonzo's a, uh--



- Whatever.

- Yeah. We're still family.



- Yeah.

- But I wish my life were more like...



one of Captain Bones'




sailing the high seas and

searching for buried treasure.



Yeah, discovering lost islands

and weird civilizations.



Navigating with my father's old compass

to wherever the wind may take us.



- Off to Zanzibar

to meet the Zanzibarbarians.

- Here they go again.



To the southwest,

pirate galleons!



To the southeast, multi-armed

Zanzibanian shark women...



and their exploding wigs

of death!



To the northwest,

dirty dishes!



How does she do that?



- Might as well start. I'll wash.

- Oh, yeah. I'll dry.



I'll break.



I look around here

and I want to cry



Me too. Yeah.



I feel like the world

is passing me by



It is.



And I just can't

help but wonder



Am I doomed to wash and dry



And is it a curse I'm under

to do it till I die



- Oh, I hope not.

- Yeah.



- When I could be an explorer

- Sure ya could.



- Sailing off to distant lands

- Not so fast.



Instead of spending

every afternoon



Just getting dishpan hands



My future looks like nowhere

that I want to be



There's gotta be

something better



Something better



There's gotta be something

better than this for me



Well, now you're talkin'.



If it's weird and wild

let's go and find it



The crazier, the better

is what I say



Yeah, that's true.



To tell the truth

I really wouldn't mind it



Mind what?



If we found someplace

with ten square meals a day



Let danger call my name



If it does

I'm gonna hide



I'll put my courage

to the test



And I'll be

by your side



He'll be by your side



There's gotta be

something better than this



- Something more than this

- I know that there's so much out there



- To see

- To see



And I know

this life I'm living



Can't be my destiny



There's gotta be

something better



Something better



There's gotta be something

better than this for me



- And me!

- Wait a minute. What about me?



There's something better

than this for you and






Enough of this singin'!



Rum! I need rum, lads!



I got the horrors!

Give me rum!



Rum till I float!



All right! All right!

Just one small one.



Don't be giving him

any more rum!



How does she blooming do that?



Shh! Shh!



Billy Bones!

It's me, Blind Pew.



I know you're here, Billy.



Ya snivelling coward!



It's some kind

of a blind fiend.



I believe they prefer

''visually challenged fiend.''



Ah, I heard that!

There's someone here!



Uh, no. Over here!



Hmm, over here.



Billy Bones! Ah,

I'd know that scurvy mug...



of yours anywhere.



Excuse me, sir,

but the bar is closed.



Aha. A pretty

little girl, is it?



Yes. Take me

to Billy Bones, my pet.



Y-You've come

to the wrong place.



Th-There's no Billy Bones here,

and I'm not a girl.



Oh, I may be visually challenged,

but I can see you're lying.






Good evening, Bill.

I know it's you.



Yes. You thought you could

get away with it, didn't you?



Just take it all

for yourself...



and leave your shipmates

with nothing.



We're not pleased with that,

Bill. Not at all.



We want you to have this!



Watch where you're going,

you stupid cat!



The Black Spot!



But I don't understand.

What is the Black Spot?



The Black Spot's

a pirate's death sentence!



- Fabulous.

- They'll be comin' to kill me tonight!



- We'd better help.

- Yeah, yeah, let's get some stuff.



- It's my sea chest them lubbers want.

- Underwear.



But I'll trick them! I'll shake out

another reef and daddle 'em again!



You wanna run that by us again

in English, Mr Bones?



It's mine! I'm goin'

for that treasure myself!



And no one-legged

son of a bilge rat will--



Captain Bones!



He died? And this is supposed

to be a kids' movie.







You always been a decent sort

to old Billy Bones.



But I'm not Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,




He's Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,





- Yes, Captain.







- Yes, Captain. What is it?

- Take the map!



- What map?

- The map to old Flint's treasure!



Don't ya understand

what I been tellin' ya?



I was Flinty's first mate!

We all were! Blind Pew and me!



Me own shipmates,

they'll gully me for sure!



And anybody else to get

their mitts on that map!



A-And gullying hurts, right?



Oh, aye! A lot!



- So quick.

- Go to my sea chest! Get the map!



Oh, yeah.



- Oh, there. There.

- Oh, I think I've-- Oh, no.



- Hey, guys, look!

- Rizzo!



Oh, here!

How about this?



Let's see.



Hey, Rizzo, look.



- It is a treasure map.

- We're gonna be rich.



- We're gonna be dead.

- Beware, lads!






- What? The one-legged man?

- Aye! But also...



beware runnin' with scissors

or any other pointy objects.



It's all good fun till

somebody loses an--






We're standing in a room

with a dead guy!






Oh, Billy Bones!

Trick or treat!



Don't try to hide, Billy!

You know what we want!



Where are ya, Billy Bones?

Where are ya, Billy?



Mrs Bluveridge!



There's no use in hiding!



Can't a woman get her

beauty sleep any more?



Jim, what you doing?



Aha! Aha!



Oh! Voila!



- Okay, okay. I found the gun.

- Oh, now we gotta load it.



- Okay.

- Oops.



Okay, where does Mrs Bluveridge

keep the bullets?



Billy's dead, and he hasn't

got the blooming map!



- Those little girls must have it.

- Yeah!



- Get them!

- Yeah!



- Gonzo! Gonzo!

- What? What?



I found the bullets. See?

Here they are. They--






Open up in there!

We wants the map...



and we'll skewer anybody

who gets in the way!



Quick,Jim! The back stairs!



Come on.



Run! Run!



Get out of my inn,

you tattooed miseries!



Can't a woman

get a night's sleep alone?



You come here, you!



This gun is useless!



- You lost all the bullets!

- Well, you're losin' the powder.



The map!

Tell us where it is or die!



- Get them!

- Run! Run, run, run!



Hurry! Hurry!






Outta the way! Outta the way!

Get outta the way!






Oh, Woof.









Wow! What an exit!



- Right through a brick wall!

- I am in such pain.



Come on!



I think I smell

something burning, no?



What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?



We can't go home, so--



Oh, no. Uh-uh. No way. You're not

taking me on some crazy treasure hunt.



- I am staying right here!

- Oh, good idea, Rizzo.



Then you can see what half-burned,

vicious pirates look like.



What are we waitin' for?

Gimme that map. Come on. Let's go.



Wait a minute.

What about Mrs Bluveridge?



I'll be fine, boys!

Run for it!



How does she do that?



Who's gonna clean

all this up?



Two for a penny, sir?



- I don't want a baked potato.

- Lovely hot baked potatoes.



- Oh, let's see.

- What a night.



- There it is!

- Huh? Oh.

- Oh.



''Trelawny & Son

Master Ship Builders''



Whoa, whoa!

Reality check here, guys!



Do we actually believe some

bozo's gonna give us a ship...



just because we show him

Captain Bones' map?



- It's worth a try, Rizzo.

- I don't know.



May I help you?



Yes. Thank you. We wish to speak

with Squire Trelawney, the shipbuilder.



- We need a ship.

- Ah, I'm sorry.



The squire's in Long Neddry

for the grouse season.



He will return

on the feast of St Lulu.



- Thank you.

- That's that.

- Oh, well.



Of course, his rich...



half-wit son

young Squire Trelawney's here.



We'll see him, then.



Well, gentlemen...



this is definitely a genuine,

bona fide treasure map.






Yes. Mr Bimbo told me so.



Oh, Mr Bimbo lives in my finger.

He's very smart. He's been to the moon.



Thank you. Twice.



- I smell a bozo.

- Mm-hmm.



Well done, Beakie.



Now we know that is definitely

too much gunpowder.



Beaker, stop fooling around.

We've got company.



Oh, hello, chappies. Everyone, this is

Dr Livesey and his assistant, Beaker.



They do research

and development for my papa.






Actually, Squire, we were

hoping to meet your father.



- We need a ship for an ocean voyage.

- Ocean? Ocean.



- Ocean?

- You know, the ocean?

The big, blue, wet thing?



Oh! Th-The big,

blue, wet thing! Yes!



Say, I know

what's happening here.



You chaps are planning

to sail to this island, aren't you?



- To dig up this treasure.

- Yes, but we must be quiet about it.



- There are pirates

looking for this map.

- Yeah, and they wanna kill us for it.



Isn't that exciting?



Pirates, eh?

Well, that settles it.



We'll use one

of my daddy's boats...



and I will personally finance

the voyage for the treasure myself.



- You'll do that? Really?

- What are rich, half-wit sons for?



Well, here's the dock.

Jim, where's our boat?



We're on a dock?

No wonder I'm seasick.



- Ahoy!

- Ah, morning, Squire.



Welcome. Welcome.

Ah, there she is:



the Hispaniola.






- Come on. Let's go!

- Yeah, let's go.



- ''Take a cruise,'' you said.

- Huh?



- ''See the world,'' you said.

- Huh?



Now here we are stuck

on the front of this stupid ship.



Well, it could be worse.

We could be stuck in the audience.



Well, Mr Bimbo...



the ship is provisioned,

the crew is in place...



and the captain should be

on board within the hour.



You have been

a busy little man.



- Oh, look, there goes Jim.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.



Ooh! Ooh, look!



It's the boat

steering thing.



This is called the helm.



Hey, how does it feel,

Captain Hawkins?



Feels like

we're really doing it.



It feels like we're finally

having an adventure!



Yeah. I'm starvin'.

Where's the kitchen?



Heigh ho and up she rises



- Something smells good.

- Heigh ho and up she rises



- Cool.

- Heigh ho and up she rises



Early in the morning



Put him in the longboat

until he's sober



Put him in the longboat

till he's sober



Put him in the longboat

till he's sober



Early in the morning



What have we here?




I'm afraid we shish-kebab

and barbecue stowaways on this ship.



Wait. I know.

You must be the cabin boys.



- Yeah.

- Hungry, lads?



Well, in my galley, you're always

welcome to help yourselves!



Yes! Thank you!



Oh, yes!



Well, he's got a healthy appetite.

How about you, funny face?



- Huh?

- Here.



Hey. Thank you.



My name is Gonzo,

and the guy in your chicken is Rizzo.



- And you must be Master Hawkins.

- Yes, sir.



Oh, you needn't be callin'

a lowly ship's cook ''sir.''



Long John Silver,

at your humble service.



We're just cabin boys,

Mr Silver.



Long John to his friends.



And believe me, lad...



a friend you can trust

is worth his weight in gold.



There's many a dark-hearted

scoundrel in these ports.



Well, what do you mean?




- Shh!

- Pirates! That's rich!



Pirates? What an imagination.

Give me a cracker.



Allow me to introduce

my pet lobster Polly.



Pieces of eight!

Pieces of eight!



Raised him

from a fingerling, I did.



As fine a crustacean

as a man could ask for.



B-But I thought sailors

had talking parrots as pets.



Talking parrots?



What an imagination.

First pirates, now talking parrots?



What's next? A singing, dancing mouse

with his own amusement park?



That's enough now, Polly.

Go on! Shoo!



Right, me hearties. I'm gonna give you

a cook's tour of this fine ship.



If you're gonna be the cook

on this ship, Mr Silver...



I am definitely gonna need

bigger pants.



What's the matter, lads?



Oh, that?



Lost that timber-fighting brigands

off Madagascar under Admiral Hawke.



There's many a man lost a leg and worse

in the service of the king.



Why, look what a cannibal

took off me...



in exchange for me own life.



Oh, you're a fine pair, lads.

That you are.



Bright as buttons,

the lot of ye.



- All hands on deck!

- Come on, then, lads.



Chop-chop! Look lively now.

The captain will be here soon.






- Who's that?

- That is Mr Arrow, the first mate,

a capital fellow.



The captain approaches.



Move aside! Make way!

Make ready for the captain!



Lollygaggers will suffer

his wrath!



Wrath? I-Is this captain




Is he bad-tempered?

The man is a raging volcano...



tormented by inner demons the likes

of which mere mortals cannot fathom.



He's got demons? Cool!






Heigh-ho, everyone.



- What-- That--

- That's the raging volcano?



- He's a frog.

- Maybe he gets hopping mad.



Hopping mad.



Piping aboard

Captain Abraham Smollett.



Good day, Mr Arrow.



I knew it.

He's furious.



- Ah, you there!

- Me?



You were in charge of railing dust.

Thirty lashes, and then

you walk the plank.



- I didn't say that, Mr Arrow.

- I was anticipating your whim, sir.



Oh. You must be

the cabin boys.



- Yes, sir!

- Which one of you is Hawkins?



I am, sir.



I knew your father,Jim.

He was a good man.



Thank you, sir.



Well, this is shapin' up

to be a fine voyage, lads.



Oh, yes, indeed.



One leg,Jim.

Count 'em. One.



- Remember what Billy Bones said.

- Oh, Gonzo, he seems all right.



I mean, Long John's only a cook.

How dangerous could he be?



Well, I don't know, but I--

Wait a minute. Where's Rizzo?



Enjoy your cruise, sir.




All right, folks, have your cheques

made out to ''Rat Tours Limited.''



Remember, we put

the rat in ''pirate.''



Why, thank you,

Mr Plagueman. Next!



- Rizzo, what are you doing?

- What? Oh, this.



Well, I figure

if the treasure map's a dud...



the trip won't be a total loss,

financially speaking.



Well, the wind seems to be freshening.

The tide is with us.



Mr Arrow,

this voyage has begun.



This voyage has begun!

Raise the gangplank!



- Right, lads!

- Let go forward line!



Let go aft line.

Hard to starboard.



Any man caught dawdling

will be shot on sight.



- I didn't say that.

- I was just paraphrasing.



- Mr Arrow, just set the sails.

- Set the sails!



Hey, where's my camera?



- I'll miss you! I said I'll miss you!

- We'll send postcards!



- Goodbye!

- Goodbye!



When the course is laid

and the anchor's weighed



A sailor's blood

begins racing



With our hearts unbound

and our flag unfurled



We're underway and off

to see the world



Underway and off

to see the world



Heave ho, we'll go



Anywhere the wind

is blowing



Manly men are we



Sailing for adventure

on the deep blue sea



Safely now, Mr Silver. Let's not

get sloppy just because we're singing.



- Aye, aye, sir.

- Danger walks on deck

We say what the heck



We laugh at the perils

we're facing



Every storm we ride

is its own reward



And people die

by fallin'overboard



People die

by falling overboard



Heigh ho, we'll go



Anywhere the wind

is blowing



Hoist the sails and sing



Sailing for adventure

on the big, blue, wet thing



I love to see 'em cry

when they walk the plank



I prefer to cut a throat



I love to hang 'em high

and watch their little feet



Try to walk in the air

while their faces turn blue



Just kidding.



It's a good life on a boat



There are distant lands

with burning sands



That call across the oceans



There are bingo games

every fun-filled day



And margaritas

at the midnight buffet




at the midnight buffet



Heigh ho, we'll go



Anywhere the wind

is blowing



Should have took a train



Sailing for adventure

on the bounding main



The salty breezes whisper



Who knows what lies ahead



I just know

I was born to lead



The life my father led



The stars will be

our compass



Wherever we may roam



And our mates

will always be



Just like a family



And though we may

put into port



The sea is always home



All right, Mr Bimbo. I didn't know

you had such a good singing voice.

Thank you.



We'll chase our dreams

standing on our own



Over the horizon

to the great unknown



Heigh ho, we'll go



Anywhere the wind

is blowing



Bold and brave and free



- Sailing for adventure

- It's so nauseating!



- Sailing for adventure

- So exhilarating!



- Sailing for adventure

- We're all celebrating!



On the deep blue sea






Roll call!



- Long John Silver?

- Aye, aye, sir!



- Short Stack Stevens?

- Aye!



- One-Eyed Jack?

- Aye!



- Black-Eyed Pea.

- Yeah.



- Walleyed Pike.

- Aye.



Polly Lobster.



- Mad Monty.

- Aye.



- Sweetums.

- Aye.



- Old Tom.

- Aye, aye.



- Real Old Tom.

- Aye.



- Dead Tom?

- Aye, aye.






- Clueless Morgan?

- Huh?



Headless Bill.



Headless Bill.




Baby-Eating O'Brien?






- Angel Marie.

- Aye, aye.



Gentlemen, may I see you

in my cabin?



- Immediately?

- Mm-hmm.



Who hired this crew? This is

undoubtedly the seediest bunch...



of cutthroats, villains

and scoundrels I have ever seen!



So who hired 'em?



Your finger hired the crew?



No, that's silly. The man who lives

in my finger hired the crew: Mr Bimbo.



What? Ah!



Yeah, he relied heavily on the advice

of our excellent cook, Long John Silver.



A cook? And a guy who lives

in a bear's finger?






I'm starting to worry

about this voyage.



Jim, I know Billy Bones

gave you the treasure map...



but I hope you'll give it

to me for safekeeping.



I'll be careful with it, sir.



Beggin' your pardon,




but I've come with a bit

of a treat for you.



'Tis my very own best brandy...



laid down by the brothers

of Buckfast Abbey...



vintage      ...



to toast

to a prosperous voyage.



- Oh, spiffy.

- I'm sorry, Mr Silver, but I'm not...



going to allow drinking

on this voyage.



- Oh, well, rules are rules.

- Oh, but, sir...



'tis a tradition for the officers

to toast to the success of a voyage.



Ah, very true.



No, we must set an example

for this questionable crew.



There will be no consumption

of alcohol of any kind.



Oh, sir, but I can vouch

for this crew myself.



You could sail to heaven

and back with these men.



Well, I'm afraid

I must disagree with you.






You wanna knock it off

with the booze?



It's peeling the paint

off of the shuffleboard court.



- Yeah.

- Sorry.

- Come on, girls.

- We told him.



And that's that.

This conversation is finished.



I understand, sir.



I shall tend to my duty

and see to it...



that every drop of alcohol

is thrown overboard.



Come on,Jim.

Don't bother, Captain.



You can go

if you want to,Jim.



- Come on.

- Yeah.



Oh, well. I guess the human beings

wanna hang out together...



don't wanna spend time

with a rat and a, uh--



- Uh, uh, whatever.

- Yeah.



- Say cheese!

- Cheese!



Oh, that's great.



Cute couple.



Stop it!



I never felt

like this before.



- Denise, what I'm trying to say--

- Yes?



- What I'm trying to say is--

- Yes?



- What I mean to say is, I--

- Yes?



I'm sorry your present

didn't work out.



Oh,Jim, Smollett sails

by rules and laws.



That's what bein' a captain's

all about.



Me, I sails by the stars.






North,Jim. Find me north out there

among them stars.



Well, that's easy.



Ah, yeah, but what

if you don't have a compass?



Long John, please don't drop it.

It was my father's.



It's all I have of his.

Please. Please.



I'm sorry, lad.

I were only foolin'.



- How old were you when he died, then?

- Seven.



I were eight

when my father died at sea.



- First mate, he was.

- My father was a first mate too.



Was he, now?



By the powers.

What a coincidence.



Now,Jim, that be Polaris,

the North Star.



Even in the China Sea,

that's north.



- North. Polaris.

- Uh-huh.



- So we must be heading southwest.

- Smart as paint you are, lad.



Smart as paint.



Now, that gets old Long John

to wonderin'.



Why would we be

sailin' southwest?



The scuttlebutt

among the crew is that, uh...



we're sailin'

for buried treasure...



and, uh, someone on board...



has a map.




none of my concern,Jim.



I'm just a ship's cook.



Such matters are best suited

to Captain Smollett.

He runs this ship, not I.



Come on, Long John.

You could captain this ship.



That I could, lad.



Maybe someday I will.



- Moonlight swim?

- Okay.



Oh, Smolly, my love for you...



is deeper than

the deep, blue sea.



Get on with you! Go on!






- Yo,Jimbo! Mornin', Long--

- Hi, Long John. Good morning.



Well, at least one of us

is having a good time.



Ah, Rizzo, it's not so bad.

Angel Marie said that later on...



he'd throw a line out the back

and let me drag along the bottom.



I don't know about this crew.

I feel like they're always

watchin' us, just waitin' to pounce.



That's just a figment

of your imagination.



This is a figment

of my imagination?



Now, tell us

where the map is...



or we'll tear ya

limb from limb!



Never. My friend

and I will never tell.



Hey, hey, there could be

extenuatin' circumstances.



I mean, you know--

Wh-- I b-- If--



Maybe they'll ask

real nice.



- In your dreams!

- Do it, Monty! Do it!



Yeah, do it to me!



Yes! More!



- Oh, no, I can't look.

- Look at this!



I'm taller!

This is so cool!



I may even have a future

with the NBA.



This won't work! He likes it!

Let's torture the rat!



- Huh? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- Yeah!



- Oh, no, no!

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes.



- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, please, no! I hate basketball!



I got a lovely recipe

for blackened rat.



I say!

This does not look safe!



- What? What? What? What?

- I b-- I burned my hand.



Kiss it or something!



Poodly, poodly, poodly,

poodly, poodly.



Mr Arrow, lock those three up

for the remainder of the voyage.



- Yes, sir!

- You can't hold us!



- To the brig! Move along!

- Will you stop crying!

Will you shut up!



- Move along.

- Oh, good. That's good. Yeah.



Master Hawkins, may I see you

in my cabin, please?



Yes, sir.



- Ready, Mr Gonzo?

- Ready!



Tie off the rope, Beaker!



We call this

the window shade cure.



All right.

Snip, snip, snip.



Oh, great! Wow!



That was so cool!



Hmm? Oh, sure.



- Who's the lady pig, sir?

- Never mind that,Jim. Listen.



I'm hoping you're willing

to give me the map now,

considering what's just happened.



I'd rather not, sir.



I'd hoped it wouldn't

come to this,Jim, but...



as captain, I order you

to give me the map.



- Mr Arrow?

- Aye, aye, Captain.



Lock up this treasure map.



It will be safe

in here, sir.



It's been six weeks

since we left England.



Five days

since we had a breeze.






I got the madness!



I got cabin fever!



I've got it too!



Cabin fever!



I got cabin fever

It's burning in my brain



I got cabin fever

It's driving me insane



We got cabin fever

We're flipping our bandannas



Been stuck at sea so long

that we have simply gone bananas



We, we, we got cabin fever



We lost what sense we had



We got cabin fever

We're all going mad



Grab your partner by the ears

Lash him to the wheel



Do-si-do, step on his toe

Listen to him squeal



Allemande left

Allemande right



It's time to sail or sink



Swing your partner

over the side



- Drop him in the drink

- We've got cabin fever.



- No ifs, ands or buts.

- We're disoriented.



- And demented.

- And a little nuts.



Volkswagen car



We were sailing, sailing



The wind was on our side



And then it died.



I got cabin fever

I think I lost my grip



I'd like to get my hands

on whoever wrote this script



I was floating

'neath the tropic moon



And dreaming

of a blue lagoon



Now I'm as crazy as a loon



Cabin fever

has ravaged all aboard



This one small vessel

has become a floating psycho ward



We were sailing, sailing

heading who knows where



And now though

we're all here



We're not all there



Cabin fever!



- The wind is back.

- What are we doing?



What's goin' on here?



- What was that?

- I feel like such a fool.



- Yeah, me too.

- I hope nobody saw that. Embarrassing.



- Get us outta here! Help!

- We didn't hit him!



Come on. Let us out.

We was only joking.



- Hey, Long John!

Hey, get us outta here!

- Yeah!



- Hey-ey-ey, Polly.

- What?



- What was that song that just happened?

- What are you talkin' about?



You know.

Cabin Fever



- That.

- You see,John?



You gotta get us outta here now!

Clueless is startin' to go crackers!



Here you go.



- Your bread and water for today.

- But I ordered shrimp scampi.



It's more than you deserve,

ya villainous dogs!






By rights,

I should be locked up too...



for lettin' thieves like them

aboard this ship.



Oh, it chills me...



to think that they almost

killed your little friends...



looking for some

daft treasure map.



None of this would've happened if I'd

have given Captain Smollet the--

I mean--



What, lad?



I'm not really sure I should be talking

about this with you or with anyone.



You mean, you've really

got a treasure map?



Not any more. Mr Arrow took it and

locked it up in the captain's cabin.



You must promise

to keep it a secret.



Don't bother your head about that.

You've only told old Long John.



Now, you run along

and do your chores. Go on.



Go on.



Safely now. Safely.



Steady as she goes.



Oh. Mr Silver, good evening.



Wicked fog tonight, sir.



Reminds me of the night

we ran aground off the pampas.



Half the crew drowned

in leaky lifeboats.



Ah, it were

a terrible shame.



- Leaky lifeboats?

- Oh, a common occurrence, sir.



A little-used piece of equipment

falls into disrepair...



- and becomes, shall we say--

- Unsafe?



Oh, I'm not sayin'

our lifeboats are unsafe, sir.



I'm not sayin'

we got problems--






Hmm. Hmm.



The caulking appears tight.

No dampness under the gunwale.



This one seems seaworthy.



Well, sir, they do, of course, until

you get them out in the open ocean.



- Cast me off, Mr Silver.

- Oh, yes, sir.



Oh, sir, is there anything I can

hold for you for safekeeping?



Your hat? Your coat?



- Your keys?

- Hmm? My keys?



Of course. If they were to fall

overboard, it would be disastrous.



Oh, that it would, sir.



Cast me off, Mr Silver!



Aye, aye, sir!



Thank you, Mr Silver.



Just doin' my duty, sir.



Oh, yes,John.



Man overboard!






- I'm sorry, sir.

- Wha--



Mr Arrow's gone overboard,




all we found was his hat!



Oh, no.



And so, my friends, the sea has claimed

another loyal officer and friend.



- This was a person who served--

- I got it! I got it!



Okay, after you, Monty.



- No, after you.

- Will you just come on.

- Okay.



Mr Samuel Arrow,

a wonderful man who...



used to get us up from our beds

before dawn for a good flossing.



- Okay, okay. Now, spread out

and find the map.

- Yeah.



May the wind be ever at your back,

Samuel Arrow. Rest in peace, my friend.



- Amen.

- Amen.






- See? See?

- Wait. Open it. Open it.



No, no, no, we gotta take it

to Long John. Come on.



This apple has a worm in it.



That's not a worm.

That's my tail.



What's wrong?



- It just feels so weird.

- You mean, that Mr Arrow's dead?



Yeah, that, and my pants

are filled with starfish.



You and your hobbies!






-Jim, we've missed you! Climb in!

- Can't. I'm doing my chores.



- Oh, come on. Share an apple.

- Yeah, come on!



- Anyway, here's the plan.

- I say we should kill that captain now.



- And then we'll get

that twit of a bear!

- Can we make a rug out of him?



Oh, hi, Long John.



I'm an easy man.

A gentlemen of fortune, says most.



But it makes me sick at heart

to sail with the likes of you.



Now, get this straight.



If anyone mutinies

before I says so...



I'll throw you overboard

like I did that scurvy mate Mr Arrow!



I says, let the captain

steer us closer to the island.



I've got the lad's

treasure map now.



When the time is ripe,

we'll kill 'em all!



- That's what I said!

- That's what I said!

- We're gonna kill them all!



- Land ho!

- Come on, lads! Let's go!



Yea! Land ho!



Oh, my goodness.



Land ho!



Beachfront property!



Retirement estates!



- Bikinis!

- Bikinis!



Throw the mainsail!

Drop anchor!



Bring her up

hard of starboard, helmsman.

Prepare to lower the longboats.



Bring those barrels

over here, lads!



Helmsman, give a hand

with the longboats.



- Captain, may I speak with you?

- I'm sort of busy right now,Jim.



But, Captain, we just heard.

Long John is planning a mutiny,

and he's got the treasure map.



- Yeah.

- I see.



- Mr Silver?

- Aye, aye, Cap'n!



Mr Silver, I want you

to take the crew ashore at once.



We need water and provisions.

Take as long as you want.



Sir! 'Tis a task to my liking, sir.

That it is!



- Quickly, boys. Gather the officers

and meet me in my quarters. Quickly.

- Yes, sir.



This is a lucky break.

Captain lettin' us go ashore.



Us with the map and all.



It's like giving the treasure to us

on a silver platter.



Aye, that it is, Polly.

Never trust a silver platter.



Follow me, Beakie. Come along.



Jim, lad!



There's room in the boat for one more.

Come along for an adventure.



- I-I can't. The captain wants me.

- Oh, what a shame!



I'll miss you, lad.

That I will.



Um,Jim! I seem to have

left my crutch on board.



Hand it to me like

a good lad, will ya?



There's a good boy.



Have to be a bit closer than that.

Can't reach it from there.



- Oh!

- Oh! Ah!



Cast away, men!

Be quick now!



Go, go, go!

Don't splash!



The plan is simple.



Once the pirates are ashore,

we set sail and return in a year or so.



- By then, all the fight

should be out of'em.

- Oh, now I understand.



That's a brilliant plan.



- Except for one thing.

- What's that?



The pirates have Jim!



I'm tired!



- You're what?

- I'm gettin' tired!



- He says go faster.

- I'm gettin' tired!



Hey, man! I can't figure out

what side we're on.



Are we with the pirates

or the frog captain?



Oh, hey, man,

just play the gig.



Never get involved in politics.







Jim, lad!




'Tis all in good fun.



Pleased I am to initiate you

into our enterprising, um, company.



Which entitles you

to all the benefits thereof.



- But I don't want any benefits.

- This is a one-time

special offer,Jim, lad.



Say no, and I will be forced

to, um, terminate our relationship.



- You're nothing but murdering pirates.

- Pirates!



Pirates. Oh,Jim.



If that's what

you're thinking...



you're dead wrong.



When I was just a lad



Looking for my true vocation



My father said

Now, son, this choice



Deserves deliberation



Though you could be a doctor



Or perhaps a financier



My boy, why not consider

a more challenging career



Hey, ho, ho



- You'll cruise to foreign shores

- Sing it, lads!



-And you'll keep your mind and body

sound by working out of doors

- Show him you been practisin'!



True friendship and adventure

are what we can't live without



-And when you're

a professional pirate

- That's what thejob's about



Upstage, lads!

This is my only number.



Now take Sir Francis Drake

The Spanish all despise him



But to the British he's a hero

and they idolize him



It's how you look at buccaneers



That makes them bad or good



And I see us as members

of a noble brotherhood



- Hup!

- Hey, ho, ho



- Oh, I love it!

- We're honourable men

- 'Tis poetry in motion.



And before we lose our tempers

we will always count to ten



On occasion there may be

someone you have to execute



But when you're

a professional pirate



You don't have

to wear a suit



- What?

- I could have been a surgeon

I like taking things apart



I could have been a lawyer

but I just had too much heart



I could have been in politics



'Cause I've always been

a big spender



And me, I could have been

a contender



Some say that pirates steal



And should be feared and hated



I say we're victims

of bad press



It's all exaggerated



We'd never stab you

in the back



We'd never lie or cheat



We'rejust about the nicest guys



You'd ever want to meet



Well, look at us,Jim.



We're a festival

of conviviality.






- That's conviviality, stupid.

- That's what I said.



We're ready, O capitán.



Good. You men guard the ship

while I'm gone. We'll be back

as soon as we get Jim.



- Aye, aye, Captain.

- Cast off, Mr Beaker.



Thanks for coming along, men.



- Are you kidding? Jim is family.

- Yeah.



Tell the truth, lad.



Do you really think the captain

and the squire...



are planning to share the treasure

with the likes of us?



Can't hear ya.






And we being

the rightful owners.



Flint's own crew, who shed

our blood getting it here!



Join us, lad.



Donate your compass to the

treasure hunt and get a full share!



Hey, ho, ho

It's one for all for one



And we'll share

and share alike with you



And love you like a son



We're gentlemen of fortune

and that's what we're proud to be



And when you're

a professional pirate



You'll be honest

brave and free



The soul of decency



You'll be loyal and fair

and on the square



And most importantly



When you're

a professional pirate



You're always in the best



Of company



- Down!

- There! Captain Smollett

coming to rescue me.



Don't get your hopes up, laddie.



I've taken the liberty of hiding

a few of my best men aboard.



If a second round follows...



it means they've

taken over the Hispaniola...



and I'm the new cap'n.



Now, then.






How infortuitous our firearms

weren't loaded, Beakie.



I'll say.

We might have shot somebody.



I'm the only friend

you got in the world now,Jim.



Let's dig up

the treasure together, eh?



Shipmates, remember?



- We'll be needing your compass, though.

- No.



I'll be taking it

either way,Jim.






Come on then, lad.

Let's not waste time.



Well, it's too dark

to do anything now.



We'll camp here

and wait for first light.



Oh. Hey, Rizzo, relax!

Don't be so afraid.



Oh, I've gone

way beyond afraid.



Right now I'm somewhere between

bed-wetting and a near-death experience.



- Good night, boys.

- Well, good night.

- Right.



- 'Night, Rizzo.

- Yeah, sure.




Is that you, Gonzo?



Boy, Gonzo, it sounds like you're

coming down with a little cold there.



I-I-I'm just gonna light a match,

if you don't mind, here.



Long John, look!



Flint hung 'em up there

after he gullied 'em...



to mark the trail

to the treasure.



Wicked sense of humour

ol' Flinty had.



- I-It's a sign. This is a cursed place.

- Yeah!



Well, there's

an informed opinion.



All right,Jim, lad,

where to from here?



''On a heading

of       degrees...



walk      paces

from where the dead men hang high.''



That way!



- We're gonna go? We're gonna--

- Come on!



Howdy vous,

stinky froggy man and friends.



I am Spa'am,

High Priest of the Boars.



You mucho wickedness

go trespass on island.



Now you suffer the wrath

of our queen...



Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal.



Terrific. Captured by crazed wild pigs

and sacrificed hideously

before a pagan altar.



- Are we lucky or what?

- Silence, smelly sailor mans!



You have violated

sacred island.



Uh-uh, excuse me.

I am Captain Smollett.



We mean no harm

to your culture.



We embrace all creatures

of different nationalities.






Bring forth

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal.



That can't be good.



Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal



Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal



Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal



Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal



Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

























These tropical floor shows

are so exotic.



Yeah, and the food

is to die for.

































































































Boom Sha-Kal-a-Ka-a-a-al



Bonsoir, mes ami.



Come, Flaubert.



Flaubert! Get away,

you stupid anteater!



- You spoiled my entrance.

- Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal



Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal



- Oh, knock it off!

- Huh?



Oh, ha-ha. Greetings.

Moi am Benjamina Gunn.



Maroonee, temptress

and queen of this i--



Smolly, can it be you?









Oh, uh, old girlfriend.



Tie 'em back

in their stakes!



...                ...



-           ,     .

- This is it.



What if Clueless is right?

Wh-What if it is c-cursed?



I'll show you what

I think of your curse.



You mewling, little,





little wuss of a crustacean!



''Treasure buried here.''



Oi, we don't even

have to dig it up!



Come on, mates!

The treasure's ours!



There's no treasure, Silver!

You brought us here for nothin'!



- Yeah!

- And now we'll be tried for mutiny!



- That's right!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!



I say we should kill him!



Run, lad!

Save yourself!



- Why are you doing this for me?

- Because I like you, boy.



I hope you didn't think

I was lying about that.



- Get him!

- Run!

- Get him!



Take greeny, flippy,

bulgy-eyed one away.



- What?

- Others stay. Chop-chop!



- What? Oh. Ah. Oh. Uh.

- Hey, wait! Where are you taking him?



Hmm ver-di-dee-voom








Bork, bork



Hmm. First take-ee the mousie,

then skewer the mousie!



- Well, how else do you think

we were gonna get him in this movie?

- Yeah.



- Oh!

- Whoa!



- Oh. I wish we were back at the

Admiral Benbow eating table scraps.

- We're about to become table scraps.



Well, this is terrible! This is the

worst thing that's ever happened to me!



- Wait a second! I've been cut loose!

- Hiya, guys.



-Jim, they've got Captain Smollett.

- I know. Come on.

We've got to get help.



Oh, okay.

Where will we go?



Tom, Tom, Tom!




Dead Tom's dead!



Long John shot him!



But Dead Tom's

always been dead.



That's why he's

called Dead Tom.



- Oh.

- Can we get on with this?

Get outta here, will ya?



- Clueless!

- Yeah, yeah?



- Give it to him!

- Yeah!



But, uh, it's not

even his birthday.



- No, no, no, no! The paper!

- Oh.



This is for you.



- The Black Spot?

- Yeah.



You dare to give me

the Black Spot?



- Uh, he-he told me to.

- Wh-- Shut up, will ya?



And it's drawn

on a page from the Bible.



You tore a page

from the Holy Scriptures...



- to make a pirate's death sentence?

- Uh, here.



Ohhh, the red hot

gates of hell...



are creeping open!



Satan is heating

his pokers for you...



you blasphemous heathens!



- Fall down on your knees...

- Oh!



and beg for deliverance

from damnation!



- Please forgive us.

- Please forgive me!



Very good.

You're forgiven.



- Oh, thank you.

- Now untie me!



Okay, okay. Untie him.



- And let's go find the treasure!

- Yeah!



Oh, oh, you are a good man.



You are a kind man.

A handsome man.



- Precious.

- Oh, he's-- You're precious a-and--



- Beautiful.

- And he's beautiful. Oh.



Yeah, here's the boat.

Oh, no!



Well, that won't help us.

We're gonna have to swim to the ship.



Hello! Earth to Jimbo.



Swimming to a ship that's full of

killer pirates to save the captain

is not a good plan.



- Look!

- Yes. The gunwale and keel

are definitely safe.



- Mr Arrow!

- Mr Arrow!

- It's me!Jim!



- Over here!

- Mr Arrow, over here!



Oh. Oh, boys.

Come join me...



aboard this exceptionally

safe little boat.






By the way, that Silver fellow

may not be trustworthy.



- Ha-ha! Now he tells us!

- Yeah.



And here's a photo opportunity

you will not want to miss.



The actual jungle location for the movie

Muppet Treasure Island.



- Oh, my goodness!

- Keep up, people.



- Hey, when do we eat?

- Oh, my feet are killing me.



Of all the backwater,

no-class piles of sand in the ocean...



you had to wash up on mine.



Benjamina, I just want you

to know that I'm sorry.



Sorry? No, no,

sorry doesn't cut it.



You left me standing

at the altar!



I was on a ship headed

for Zanzibar. I got cold feet.



You're a frog.

You're supposed to have cold feet.



My mother came

all the way from France.



I was wearing

her white lace dress.



The cake was filled

with lemon custard!



Mina, fate has brought us

together again.



Well, actually, buried treasure

and pirates brought us together--



Don't you start with me

about pirates!



After you jilted me, I took

up with this Bernie Flint.



- The man was totally codependent.

- You and Captain Flint?



Well, he was a pirate, I was a lady.

You know the story.



Smolly? He marooned me.






Oh. Oh. Oh.



Th-This is all my fault.

Oh, what have I done to you?



- Mushy-mushy!

- Kissy-kissy!

- Oh, lovey-dovey!



Bravo, Cap'n.



Touchin' reunion, Benjamina.



This seems to be your day

for renewing old...






Oh, well, hello, Long John.



- Oh, no! Him too?

- Well, if you'd married me.



Well, what does that

have to do with it?



- I'm a pig! I need commitment!

- Commitment?

- You knew that about me when you--



Now, I'm not gonna be really patient

about this, Benjamina.



Where is the treasure?



Um, I just may not

tell you. Hmm.



Oh, don't play games with me, lass.



I tell you,

I'm not a patient man.



Stop! Give up now...



weak and tiny pirate mans...



or die like stinking dogs.



Hmm, we see you have

boom-boom sticks.






Oh, brother!



- Now, Benjamina.

- What?



Where is the treasure?



There is no treasure.

I-It was all a clever ruse. H-Ha!



So where did you get that

gold necklace you're wearing?



The one made

of Spanish doubloons.









Shopping Channel?









- Shh.

- Shh.



Oh, fiddle!



Make yourself useful.

Try and save us. Do something!






Oh, Master Hawkins,

you've come to rescue us.



I should've let him

live in my finger.



We're ready,

Master Hawkins.



- Do you think this

will work, Dr Livesey?

- Oh, yes!



My research indicates

that pirates are very superstitious.



Boogie, boogie, boogie!



I am the ghost

of Samuel Arrow.






Come on.

We've got to save the captain!



You were so good, Mr Arrow.

That was beautiful.



What do we do next?

What do we do now? Uh,Jim?



- Weigh anchor?

- Weigh anchor.

- Weigh anchor. Okay.



- Set the sails.

- Set the sails!



- And you, Squire Trelawney.

- Uh, n-n-now, Master Hawkins, I-I-I--



You take the helm.



Ah! Step aside, Mr Bimbo.

I shall be taking the helm.



Hurry, Rizzo!



I'm going as fast as I can.



Oh! Smolly, my love!



Oh, oh!






You can't hurt my frog!



Don't tell him anything, Mina.

I beg you!



He'll only kill you too.

Don't listen to him!






for the last time...



where's the blasted treasure?



- Yeah!

- Hah!



Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop!

The treasure's at my place.



North trail, split-level hut

with the pink lawn furniture.

You can't miss it.



Now free him at once,

you scoundrel!



You know, I'm beginning to see

a pattern in the men I date.



Yeah, well, uh, uh,

the past is behind us.



And the future below us.



Oh, it's okay, Mina.

We're together again.



Yes, despite it all...



we have each other.



- Oh, don't cry for me, Benjamina.

- Pardon?



Was I dumb

or was I blind



Or did my heart

just lose its mind



Why'd I go and throw



Our perfect dream away



Looking back

I'll never know



How I ever let you go



But destiny could see

we deserved



To have another day



Love led us here



Right back

to where we belong



We followed a star

and here we are



Now heaven seems so near



Love led us here



Now I know that life



Can take you by surprise



And sweep you off your feet



Did this happen to us



Or are wejust dreaming



Love led us here



Right back

to where we belong



We followed a star

and here we are



Now heaven seems so near



Love led us here



So take my hand



And have no fear



We'll be all right



Love led us






Oh, Smolly.

You saved me.



Come on, men!

It's back to Blighty now, lads!



The treasure's all ours!



Hurry. Come on.

Get in the boat.



Long John! Long John!

Look! The ship!



Uh, yeah--

What are they doing?



There's no one on board.



It's coming

straight for us!



I-It's the ghost

of Captain Flinty.



He's coming to kill us.



Come back, you cowards!






Look. It's the captain

and the pig.



Oh, no!



Head for those cliffs.



- Head for the cliffs, Squire.

- Aye, aye! Uh. Oh.



Oh, Beakie, Beakie.

Look, look!



I think we're going to need a net.

Come along.



Get back there,

you yellow-bellied bilge rats!



I'm not losing

that treasure now! Get out!



We're lowering the net now.



All right, let's go. Okay.

That's it. Beautiful. Beautiful.



- We're coming, Captain Smollett!

- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!



- Steady! Steady!

- Careful!



Au revoir, mon capitaine.



- We got 'em!

- Oh, ho, ho! Yes!



- Ahh!

- Oh, no!



Waldorf, you old fool!

We're heroes!



We saved the pig

and the frog!



Well, it was too late

to save the movie.



Welcome aboard,

Captain Smollett.



And welcome

to your lady pig friend.



Ah! Look out! Ah!



The captain must have his sword.






Wow! Ha!









Fight, you idiots!






- Here!

- Ha! Ah!

- Hi-ya!



- Wah!

- All right! No more Ms Nice Guy!



No one maroons me

and gets away with it!



- Good to see you alive, Mr Arrow.

- Huh! Thank you, Captain.






Oh, what am I gonna do? Oh!



- Come on!

- Come on, you! Hey!

- Oh!



- Oh, sorry.

- En garde!



- Mi casa es su casa.

- Ah, I make cheese

out of you. Come on!



- Hi-yee, De Soto! Hi-ya!

- Oh, yah!






- Hah!

- Ahhh!



Come on,Jerry!

He's just a kid!



- Ohhh!

- Okay, okay, okay!



Okay, I give.

Uncle. Uh, I'm dead.



Oh, oh, oh, Mr Bimbo, help!



- Am I dead?

- Huh?



- Wonderful!

- Uh--



- Mr Bimbo, that was

some amazing swordplay.

- Take that!



Oh, watch out, Mr Arrow!



Well, thank you. But aren't you

supposed to be fighting against us?



Are you kiddin'?

I love you guys!



- Hmm.

- Hmm.






Come on. Fight.

Where are you?



- Ohhh!

- Hmm.



And as for you!



- Oh!

- Silver!



Hmm-hmm. Hah!



Hah! Hah!



Why don't you pick on

somebody your own size, huh?



- Ah. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

- Wow!



Yes! Yes! Smolly! Yes!



- Hah!

- Yes!



Ha-ha, Silver!



Ha-ha, ho-ho!

Not bad for an amphibian.



Smolly, Smolly, he's our man!

If he can't do it, no one can! Yea!



- Ho-ho-ho! Ha-ha!

- Excuse me.

- Pardon? Whoop.






Uh-- Uh-- Uh--



I'm a frog.

You know, slippery hands.



Uh, you know, I never really believed

that violence solved anything anyway.



Really? Allow me

to disagree, Cap'n.



Kill Captain Smollett,

and you'll have to kill me.



Kill Jim,

and you'll have to kill me.



Kill Gonzo,

and you'll have to kill me.



Kill Squire Trelawney

and Mr Bimbo...



and you'll have to

negotiate strenuously.



Going somewhere,




Well, Mr Hawkins,

it seems your little family...



has come together

against me.



- We're doomed.

- Yeah.



Well, you know, I, for one,

feel better about myself.



Yeah. A-And I believe

that I have learned a valuable lesson.



- Why, you!

- Shut up!



Okay, stop biting me.

Okay, I said something wrong!






I suppose you'll be blowing

the whistle on me now, won't you,Jim?



I suppose I will. You have to return

to Bristol to stand trial.



Oh, I'm sorry,Jim.

I got a terrible fear of hanging.



We're shipmates, aren't we,Jim?



Gentlemen of fortune, together.



Give us one more chance?



Oh, hell,Jim.

I could never harm you.



You're honest

and brave and true.



- You didn't learn that from me.

- I learnt it from my friends,

Mr Silver.



Now take your oars and row away.

I never want to see you again, ever.






'Tis a shame, really.

We'd have made

a great team,Jim.



Well done,Jim.

Your father would be proud.



Captain Smollett,

I have most distressing news.



One of the jolly boats is missing,

and I know for a fact

that it was terribly unsafe.






This is not fun.



Flaubert, meet Da-Da.



- Ready to sail, sir.

- Hmm.



Where to,

Captain Hawkins?



To wherever the wind

may take us.



Off to Zanzibar,

to meet the Zanzibarbarians.



Oh, brother.

Here they go again.



Love power



Love power



Love power



A little love power



Stronger than the hurricane



And softer than

the summer rain



- Love power

- What kind of power



A little love power



It can lift you up

Lift you up when you get low



And make your life

bright as the rainbow






There ain't no sun

in the morning sky



Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh



Breeze ain't blowing

and the bird don't fly



Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh



Then someone kind

reaches out a hand



And smiles

a warm sweet smile



And then your heart

come to understand



What make the world spin

Where do magic begin



Someone to believe in



Feel so good

when everybody feels



- Love power

- There's no higher power



- A little love power

- Nothing in the world



Stronger than the hurricane



And softer

than the summer rain



Oh, love power



- Everybody, feel it

- A little love power






Lift you up when you get low



And make your life

bright as the rainbow






So many people

they feel so bad



Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh



Yeah, they make the money

but they still so sad



Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh



Nobody told them

that it ain't that stuff



That makes life worthwhile



'Cause even if

you've got enough



You got less than nothing

till you know for certain



Enough to put your faith in



It feels so good

when everybody feels



- Love power

- People, can you feel it



A little love power



Lift you up when you get low



And make your life

bright as the rainbow



Let me tell you now



- Whoa-oh

- Feel the inspiration



- Hey

- Don't it feel like heaven



It make the soul

and the spirit strong



When everybody come

and every single one



They hear the song now



Oh, love power



A little love power



Stronger than the hurricane



And softer

than the summer rain



- Can you feel it, oh

- Love power



- What kind of power

- A little love power



It can lift you up



Lift you up when you get low



And make your life

bright as the rainbow



- One love

- Lift you up when you get low



-And make your life

bright as the rainbow

- So,Johnny.



May I call you Johnny?

Stop me if you heard this one.



Why does the ocean roar?



Give up?



You would, too, if you had

crabs on your bottom...



and oysters in your bed.



Get it? Oysters? Bed?



Ooh, I love that one.



I'm tellin' ya, I got

a million more just like that.



Was I dumb



Or was I blind



Or did my heart

just lose its mind



Why'd I go and throw



Our perfect dream away



Oh, looking back



I'll never know



How I ever let you go



But destiny could see

we deserve



To have another day



Love led us here



Right back

to where we belong



We followed a star

and here we are



Now heaven seems so near



Love led us here



Love led us here






I confess



It's sad but true



- Sad but true

- I lost myself when I lost you



But I held your memory



Through each lonely night



Oh, let's forget



- What's gone before

- What's gone



- Now we both

know so much more

- So much more



And we've been given

another chance



To make it work out right



Make it work



Love led us here



Right back

to where we belong



We followed a star

and here we are



Now heaven seems so near



Love led us here



Now I know that life

can take you by surprise



And sweep you off your feet



Did this happen to us



Or are we just dreamin'






We followed a star

and here we are



Now heaven seems so near



Love led us here



So take my hand



And have no fear



We'll be all right



Love led us





Special help by SergeiK