Voila! Finally, the Mysterious Skin
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Gregg Araki movie
with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Michelle Tractenber. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Mysterious Skin. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
The summer I was 8 years old,
5 hours disappeared from my life.
Gone without a trace.
Last thing I remember I was sitting on the bench...
at my Little League game.
It started to rain.
What happened after that remains a pitch black void.
What the heck are you doing in there?
Whew! It is terrible out there.
Hello, sweetheart. What happened to you?
Brian got a bloody nose hiding in the cellar.
Whatever on Earth were you doing down there?
Are you okay, sweetheart? You poor little baby.
They had me cooped up all night in that awful mailroom.
I didn't even know it was raining till I got off work.
Did one of the other moms give you a ride home?
-I'm going to bed. -I hope you're happy.
I knew he'd get hurt playing sports out there in the field.
You know, when I was a kid, I wasn't exactly a star player either.
But at least I gave it my all, I wasn't a quitter.
-Good night. -Good night.
I told your father that Little League thing...
was a stupid idea.
Hold your nose.
Mom made me quit baseball the very next day.
This was when the nightmares began...
...and the nose bleeds.
I wet the bed several times...
...and then there were the blackouts.
I'd feel my eyes roll back in my head.
I'd crumple to the floor like a dropped puppet.
The darn thing's not even a year old yet.
Maybe it's screwed up from all the lighting last week.
Oh, your father's going to be overjoyed about this.
What time's Dad getting home?
Not for another hour, at least, honey.
Mom. Deborah. Come look!
It's a UFO!
Oh please, it's just a weather balloon or something.
No, look what it's doing to the TV.
It's flying over the house!
Let's go up on the roof.
No, wait! Children, be careful!
That summer, those were the two things I'd never forget.
The cramped, stale darkness of the crawlspace.
And, equal in power and mystery...that UFO,
out there somewhere traveling across the universe.
The summer I was years old, I came for the first time.
I was watching my Mom going at it with her boyfriend of the moment,
Alfred, in my old swing set.
Alfred was all Marlboro man, dumb as a fucking rock.
What I would, years later, come to call "my type".
And only the most boring, stupid things...
have ever come out of his mouth.
But seeing him like this, whimpering and grunting...
Iike a helpless animal, I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
I'd been masturbating for years, but it wasn't till...
that summer that jizz actually squirted out my dick when I came.
Couldn't wait to show Coach.
Oh, maybe I should start at the beginning.
Back in June, my Mom signed me up for Little League.
It was Alfred's idea, a way for them to fuck freely,
without the expense of a sitter.
Are you excited?
Desire sledgehammered me.
He looked like the lifeguards, cowboys and firemen,
I'd seen in the Playgirls that my mom kept stashed under her bed.
Back then, I didn't know what to do with my feelings.
They were like, a gift I had to open in front of a crowd.
I'm Ellen McCormick. And this is my son, Neil.
Honey, don't you want to say hello to your new coach?
Don't worry, it takes him a while to warm up to strangers.
I quickly became the team's star player.
Which wasn't saying much considering the other kids...
were a bunch of hopeless spazzes.
Our first game, bottom of the eighth,
I whacked a triple with the bases loaded.
The crowd went fuckin' nuts.
But I didn't care about that.
All that mattered was it made Coach proud.
After that first victory, the coach called my Mom...
to tell her he was taking the team out to a movie to celebrate.
Hey, big guy, ready to go?
Where's everybody else?
Well, it looks like it's just going to be you and me today, bud.
I picked "Blood Prom," an R-rated slasher flick...
with tons of cool gore and murders in it.
When this one really annoying blonde chick...
got her head chopped off, I cheered.
After the movie, we we picked up a pizza...
and headed back to Coach's.
Coach's house was awesome.
He had a giant TV, an Atari with Donkey Kong, Asteroids, Frogger.
All my favorite games.
Hah. You exploded. My turn.
Sure your mom's not expecting you?
No. She works.
She's probably got a date with Alfred afterward.
My guess is you spend a lot of time by yourself, huh?
Yeah. But I kind of like it.
I just ride my bike and watch TV.
Oh shit! You made me mess up!
Come here for a sec.
Bring one of those bottles of Peach Nehi.
Now, this might seem a little weird at first.
But I need to record my team's voices,
especially my best players.
Now just speak into it using your normal voice.
Well, what should I say?
Whatever you like.
Start with your name.
Now take a big sip of pop and belch.
Say that again.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Now, look up into the camera.
Now stick your tongue out.
Make a funny face.
Yes, Neil, yes.
Open your mouth real wide.
Neil, that's perfect.
We had a : game against Hutchinson Taco Hut.
I know you're gonna kick their butts tonight?
You gonna knock one out of the park for your poor,
So you're gonna get a ride home with Coach, right?
You're mine and I love you and don't you ever forget it.
Boy, were you on fire tonight!
It's the best you've ever played!
Hey, can we play some more of those game cartridges tonight?
Sure we can.
But I gotta show you something first.
Ew. I look stupid in this one.
You look perfect. Your expression.
Like you're having a wonderful dream.
Neil, I've been thinking a lot about you this week.
You want a pizza?
I might have something here you'd like.
What'll it be, little buddy?
My mom never buys these things.
She says they're a big waste of money.
Let's eat then.
Which one do you want?
I don't know, what are you having?
Then I'll have uh...
You do one.
Here we go.
I like you, Neil.
I like you so much.
When I really, really like someone...
...there's a way l show them how I feel.
There's nothing wrong with kissing someone like this.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's wrong.
That's what I told myself.
It just happened.
And after it was over, I looked down...
at the mess on the floor.
It was like a kaleidoscope had shattered.
And when I swallowed, the taste of Coach's tongue seared my mouth.
You liked it.
It's okay that you liked it.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Do you know him or something?
I met Wendy Peterson when I was ten.
She was eleven, one grade ahead of me in school.
What are you doing?
Damn. No razor.
If I wasn't queer we would have ended up having...
sloppy teenage sex and getting pregnant...
contributing more fucked up, unwanted kids to society.
But instead, she became my soulmate.
And...one true partner in crime.
Let's kidnap him.
His mom says we're supposed to take him home.
Where are you taking me?
A house with lots and lots of candy.
These are the eyes of the Axe Murderer's victims.
-Come on, Satan. -Hurry up, Chicken.
I never much cared for Halloween,
but this particular year, I couldn't shake the feeling...
that something horrible was gonna happen.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Wait outside for me. I'll be done in a minute.
You hold him while I go get something.
-What are we gonna do? -Have some fun.
-What's the matter, Satan? -What did you say, Punk?
What a loser!
I thought that was you.
Lie down, retard.
What are you doing?
Shut up! Shut up, or we'll kill you.
Point the beam over here.
Open your mouth.
I said open your mouth.
Keep these in your fucking mouth.
You better do what we say, or I'll kill you, I swear.
Give me the matches.
Wendy, come on, give me the damn matches!
Shine the flashlight on him.
Neil, he's gonna tattle!
Don't worry. I know what to do.
There are things we can do to get him on our side.
Just lay still for a minute.
You're my little green buddy and there's this cool thing...
I wanna show you.
When I was little, a man used to do this to me.
You're really gonna like it.
There. That's it.
That's my boy.
Wendy never looked at me quite the same after that night.
Sharing this part of myself...
I'd never showed anyone else ever before.
I knew we'd be bound together...forever.
I woke up, once again not knowing where I was...
or what had happened to me.
By the time I made my way back,
Deborah said I'd been missing for over an hour.
But I couldn't remember a thing.
All I knew was that it was somehow linked to the other time,
the night I woke up in the cellar.
And I also knew that, no matter how long it took,
I had to find out what had happened to me.
I had to find an answer to the mystery.
When I was I overheard some kids at school talking about a place.
A place that you could find even in a dumbass hicktown like Hutchinson.
Here we go.
-How's it going? -Okay.
-I'm Charlie. -Neil.
Wanna go for a ride?
You got cash?
I'll pay no higher.
You've got to be careful out here.
The cops patrol this whole entire area,
and they've got brains enough to know what's up.
I'm in Hutchinson on business.
I supply snack foods to the local markets.
Take whatever you want.
We've only got an hour, so we'd better get busy.
So, what do you like to do?
Tell me what you want me to do.
You like older guys, huh?
That feels nice.
You are such a beautiful, beautiful boy.
I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come.
I know what you're thinking.
That wasn't safe.
But we're in Kansas, thank God,
not some big city full of diseases.
Plus, you're only a kid.
You scared me!
Thanks for meeting me.
Yeah, well, This better be good.
My mom will kill me if she finds out I snuck out this late.
I have something I wanna show you.
You're such a liar.
I don't believe you.
I'll prove it.
Oh, my God, what are you...
Put that back in your pants, exhibitionist!
No way, perv.
Look what the guy did to me.
Are those bruises?
Fucker gnawed on my dick like it was a fucking candy cane.
I didn't even realize he was hurting me till after I blew my load.
Well, you better watch out, McCormick.
Next time someone might chomp the whole thing off.
Even Hutchinson has its share of freaks.
You trick with the wrong guy and I'd find pieces of you everywhere.
I wish there's a movie showing right now.
A film about our lives.
Everything's that's happened so far.
And the last scene would just be us standing right here.
Just you and me.
I hear something.
It's the voice of God.
I hear him.
I hear him.
It's about to begin.
Alright, I'm coming.
I checked it twice.
It's probably going to be a little silly.
The commercial showed this crazy old man claiming...
aliens beamed him up right out of his bathtub.
If you're going to make fun, I'd just as soon watch by myself.
Shh, it's starting.
Tonight on "World Of Mystery",
we investigate the terrifying world of UFOs.
Is it mass hysteria or something all too real?
They kept me prisoner for hours.
They examined me like I was a frog in biology class.
And then they stuck a probe in my stomach.
I still got the scar here to prove it.
Look at that.
I always got scared anytime I watched movies about UFOs.
Even "E. T. " scared me.
She looks so homely and sad.
Avalyn Friesen lives in the tiny, ordinary town of Inman, Kansas.
That's only miles away.
years old, she is unmarried.
Lives with her father and works part-time...
as a secretary.
But there is something unusual about Avalyn.
For as long as she can remember,
things have happened to her, things she cannot explain.
I'd heard about people who've experienced missing time.
Whole chunks of their lives they couldn't account for.
Under hypnotic regression I learned that...
I had been abducted more than times.
The first time was when I was .
I was on my way home from a picnic with my grandparents.
It was dark and we got lost, driving down a dirt road.
Grandpa lost control of the car and we went into a ditch.
There was this blinding white light.
But the aliens weren't interested in my grandparents.
They floated me up out of the car...
using some sort of gravitational ray.
That's it. I've had enough.
I'm gonna get some ice cream.
-Want some? -No, thanks.
I remember lying on a table.
It was cold, smooth and shiny.
The aliens surrounded me.
They were bald with huge marshmallowy heads and tiny arms.
But the worst part was their eyes.
The only way I can describe them is big,
black diamonds, all liquidy and jellyish.
I can't believe I'm finally getting out of this fucking nowhere town!
You better let me know the second you're settled.
You better come. Or else.
New York City.
You're so lucky!
What you gawking at?
Shit, go, go, go!
Remember the guy I told you about last week?
That's him. Parked by those trees.
I've fucked every single john in this park.
Except for White Camaro.
So it's time for you two to get lost.
Stop scaring my business away.
You want us to come pick you up later?
Yeah, if you want.
I'll be done by, like, .
We'll meet you.
Speak for yourself, Eric.
I gotta get home and start packing.
Alright, call me tonight.
I'll see you later.
You better be careful.
I'm serious, Eric.
You're not in Modesto anymore.
I see the way you look at him.
He's so beautiful.
I can't help it.
He's like a god.
You don't have to tell me, l was infatuated with him too once.
But I know all Neil's secrets and there's shit there...
you don't even want to know about.
Once I'm gone, you'll be all Neil has...
and you have to understand one thing.
Where normal people have a heart,
Neil McCormick's has a bottomless black hole.
And if you don't watch out, you can fall in and get lost forever.
Brian? Brian, you home?
Yeah, Mom. In here.
No class today?
I've got English Comp discussion group at : .
You have mail.
Looks like one from your sister.
And one from "A. Friesen"?
I can't believe she wrote me back.
Avalyn Friesen. The woman on TV.
She didn't have to dump a whole gallon of perfume on it, did she?
What did she say?
She wants me to visit her in lnman.
Thanks for the ride, Preston.
You just missed it, sweetie.
This little old lady just won both showcases.
What did she get?
She got a trip to Scotland, beautiful living room set,
a brand new car.
I can't remember the name of it but it cost over grand.
Are you wearing cologne?
Was work okay?
It was the pits.
When is our ship gonna come in, huh baby?
Oh, Neil, don't forget.
Tomorrow's my date. That hot ltalian.
The guy who always comes through my checkout lane.
Don't worry, because I'll be at work.
It's the last tournament of the season.
Patches! Patches, down.
Sorry, she gets a little excited.
Hi, you must be Brian. I'm Avalyn, obviously.
Dad? It's okay, Daddy.
This is the young man I was telling you about.
Don't mind him.
He's just a little wary of strangers.
I'm so glad you're here. Come on.
It isn't showy, but it's home. Here, have a seat.
Have you eaten? I was just in the middle of lunch.
-I hope you don't mind. -No, go ahead. I ate earlier.
So, you saw the show?
Several times. I videotaped it.
They left some stuff out, but they managed to get the major points across.
I think I was taken too.
You mentioned that in your letter.
You're at the point l was a few years ago,
where you're just starting to remember things.
There are many of us and we all have this drive...
to know what happened.
So...you think that's what happened to me.
Just from what I told you about the missing time and...
I'm sure of it.
Feel like going on a walk?
What's that you're carrying?
It's a Dream Journal.
I keep a log of all my dreams.
Whatever bits and pieces I can recall at least.
I feel like it's slowly helping me remember.
That's a really good idea.
Your subconscious is where all your memories are buried.
For you and me and people like us almost every...
single thing we do stems from our being abducted.
Come here, I want to show you something they wouldn't allow...
on "World of Mystery".
I've been tagged.
Part of their experiments.
When I was taken, my leg was bleeding,
but I didn't remember being cut, nothing.
Then, under hypnosis is when I discovered that's where...
they implant the tracking device.
Now everything I do, they know.
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they were...
spying on us right now.
When I was found that night, my nose was bleeding.
The old up-the-nose trick, so the scar can't be seen.
Don't forget to write.
Don't you forget what I told you.
You better come see me soon, asshole.
Stay out of trouble, you two.
I can't believe it's so late. My mom's gonna worry.
You still live with your mom?
My dad moved out years ago.
I don't see him much.
You wanna read me one of your dreams?
I just, you know, scribble them out in the middle of the night.
Sometimes I can barely even read them.
This is from nights ago.
"There's a blue light.
I'm in my Little League uniform,
and a tall alien is hovering over me."
"Someone else is with me. Another boy, also in uniform."
That was the name of my baseball team.
Let's see, uh...
"The alien has big black eyes. He's touching my face."
"l want to cry out for help, but..."
"l can't. I can't."
You're on your way to uncovering the truth.
Think of yourself as a detective, following clues.
Maybe concentrate on the other boy in your dreams,
he could help you find the answers you're looking for.
Third baseman Jackson up, with Hinton..
Jesus. Check out that Jackson.
are you joking?
No, I'd fuck him for free.
Please return all foul balls to pressbox.
You don't think Jackson's hot?
Dude, he's fat and bald!
Different folks, different strokes.
My Daddy hit this.
Well, come here, come on in, collect your prize.
Thank you so much. One second...
Alright... what will it be, big guy?
Cash or bubbles?
You can't decide. Alright, hold out your hand.
-Thanks! -You're welcome.
See you later.
When kids do good, you gotta reward them.
It's Hinton, a.k.a. "Ass of the Gods".
I am so, fucking wasted!
-Where's your mom? -I don't know.
She's probably out with her new boyfriend, Vincenzo.
I've got a wicked headache.
-Do you have any pot? -Yeah. Come on.
Here. Knock yourself out.
There's a porno in the VCR if you wanna jack off.
You got a lighter?
You like that?
It tickles a little.
That feels good, doesn't it, Neil?
Can we put the blanket over our heads like we did last time?
Here we go.
Find what you were looking for?
Yeah. Thanks a lot.
Glad I could help out.
I used to write for my school paper too,
back in the day.
Well, this will really make a big difference in my article.
Maybe you'll win a Pulitzer Prize.
Just let me know if there's anything else you need.
Thanks so much.
You done already?
I'm on kind of a tight deadline.
Well, good luck.
That's two outs. Garfield the batter...
Heim on deck.
Scoot your chair back a little further.
Wait. Hold on a sec.
And at the end of innings, the score is...
Hutchinson First National Bank, ;
Wichita Coleman lndustries, .
Okay. Go on.
Where have you been?
Sorry. I should've called.
I didn't realize the time.
Well, your dinner's cold as ice.
Brian, what's going on?
You've been acting so strangely.
Disappearing for hours.
It's just school, Mom.
College is way different than high school.
Did you ever call your father back?
I've been busy.
I'll get it. You finish your dinner.
He's eating his supper right now.
-Who is it? -It's that UFO woman.
I'll get it in the hall.
I was just going to call you.
I found a photo of the boy.
The one from my dreams.
What are you doing right now?
There's something I need to show you.
Something important. Can you come out here?
Hi, honey. How was work?
I'm so fuckin' sick of this stinky little buttcrack of a town!
Patches, shhh, quiet!
You'll wake Daddy.
Brian! Thanks for coming.
I stole this from the Hutchinson Chamber of Commerce.
That's him. The boy from my dreams.
Look at his face.
It's almost like you can tell he knows something.
What are you doing?
You can start looking for him first thing tomorrow morning.
Maybe he still lives in Hutchinson.
Meanwhile, I have to show you something only you will understand.
I've fucked every single guy and his ugly uncle in this podunk town.
You want one?
One of us has to drive.
I got a postcard from Wendy.
I think she's mad at me because I owe her like letters.
Yeah, her last P.S. is...
"Tell Fuckface to write me".
So you wanna hear what she says?
So New York is insane and crazy in the best possible way".
Can we help you?
I was wondering if I might buy you boys a drink.
You heard me, fag.
Stuck up little pricks.
Wasn't he kinda your type?
I hate it when they look like Tarzan and sound like Jane.
Let's get out of this shithole.
But we just got here!
Patches, get away from there!
Farmers have been finding mutilated cattle like this...
around here for years.
I told "World of Mystery", but they conveniently edited it out.
Daddy says it's just a bunch of "Satan worshippers"...
going around chopping up cows.
Ha! Come here.
Let me see your hand.
Its sex organs.
The aliens, they experiment on cattle because the...
poor things are so defenseless.
Us, on the other hand, they can't kill us,
so they just leave behind the hidden memories...
of what they've done.
Which in a way is almost worse.
Notice anything else strange?
There's no blood.
They took that, too.
Oh, my God, Brian!
Here we go.
Oh, my God. Brian.
Tell him you like it.
Oh, Brian, are you okay?
Neil. What are you doing?
Come on. It's : in the morning.
You called me your fucking...angel.
Are you sure Wendy's going to meet you at the station?
I don't want you getting lost in that crazy city.
Ma, you don't have to worry, okay?
Call me collect the minute you arrive.
-Promise me. -Okay.
Promise me, Neil.
We should've at least gotten you a decent hair cut.
I have to take a piss.
We'll be right back.
-Fuck, man! -What's the matter?
I don't know.
My fucking dick itches like motherfucking fuck!
What do you want me to do about it?
Just look down there.
Preston, come on, help me out here.
What the fuck's wrong with me?
Dude. You've got crabs.
I mean, it's no big, man.
You just go to the drug store and get this stuff called Rid.
You better be playing safe.
I stay in control.
Honey, your bus is boarding.
You're all grown up.
You gonna be careful?
Yeah, I will.
You're mine and I love you. Don't you ever forget it.
Come on. I'll buy you Dairy Queen.
So what are you gonna do now that Neil's gone?
-Kill myself, I guess. -Eric, that is not funny.
Well, I start Hutchinson Community College next week.
Really? That's so wonderful.
Pathetic is more like it.
Well, you know you are always welcome to come over...
to the house, even without Neil around.
Thanks, Mrs. M. I may just take you up on that.
Who the hell is that?
Incognito Boy Scout?
Can I help you?
-ls this your house? -Yes.
I'm really sorry to bother you,
but I got your address out of the phonebook.
I've spent the whole afternoon checking every...
McCormick in Hutchinson and you're the last one on my list.
Anyway, I don't mean to babble...
What do you want?
I'm looking for an N. McCormick.
Are you FBl?
Sorry honey, but it looks like you are shit outta luck.
You mean there's no N. McCormick living here?
I mean we just put him on a bus headed for New York City.
I'm Neil's friend, Eric, and this is his Mom.
"Neil"? His name is Neil?
I'm Brian. Brian Lackey.
So you still haven't written.
But Wendy says you're doing okay, which is cool.
I've been wanting to tell you about this strange guy...
I met weeks ago.
No, we're not fucking.
Get your mind out of the gutter, perv.
He's not even gay, I don't think.
In fact, his vibe is kinda weirdly asexual.
His name is Brian Lackey.
He lives in Little River and, like yours truly,
attends Hutchinson Loser Community College.
Anyways, the day you left...
...your mom and I found him literally on your doorstep,
Iooking for you.
He says you and him played Little League together...
Iike years ago.
He was the worst player on the team, blah, blah, blah...
He's full of questions about you.
But, of course, I haven't told him much,
i.e. about your "line of work".
I did say you were queer like me,
only because I figured you wouldn't care.
But now, are you ready for the good part?
He thinks that when you and him were little...
...you were both abducted and examined by space aliens.
How brilliant is that?
But he was completely serious when he told me this.
Like you should've seen the look in his eyes.
So, what's the story, dude?
Were you abducted by a UFO or what?
P.S. - Are your crabs gone yet?
-You have a visitor. -Hi Brian.
I was just in the neighborhood and I thought I'd stop by,
see how you're doing.
I'll be in the front room if you need me.
Didn't care for that film.
That, I didn't see.
Your Mom doesn't like me very much.
She thinks I'm trying to steal you away.
Any luck in your search for "N. McCormick"?
I met his mom and his best friend,
but he's in New York right now.
New York. Really?
Here. Sit down.
Had any more of those dreams?
But they seem to be slowly evolving.
Maybe it's just because I've been spending a lot of time...
with Eric, Neil's friend.
But it's becoming clearer and clearer that he...
Neil that is, is a key figure in all this.
Like he was there with me the night it all happened.
No. No. Don't.
It'll feel good.
You better go.
I'm sorry, Brian.
I pay . Not a cent more.
Fuck me up the ass with your hot, teenaged cock!
What the fuck are you doing?
I'll put it on for you.
Well, come on, stud. We're on the clock here.
We're not in Kansas anymore, Neil.
You have got to be so careful.
Don't "l know" me, Neil McCormick.
This is New York City.
You do the wrong thing with the wrong person and you die.
Period. End of story.
Just promise me you'll be safe.
# The world is full of noise, yeah. #
# I hear it all the time. #
# And me, I am your dagger. #
Are these the only kinds of movies you watch?
Why? You don't like it?
No, it's cool.
So, has Neil gotten back to you yet?
Let me explain The Universe of Neil McCormick.
He's like a planet, Saturn say.
And we're all like little moons orbiting around.
Now, do planets write letters?
But I do know that he'll be in Hutchinson for Christmas.
His mom told me that she sent him a ticket to fly home...
for Baby Jesus's Birthday.
So I'll introduce you then.
Thought you two might like a little study break.
Thanks, Mrs. Lackey.
It's : .
If it's Avalyn...
tell her I'm not here.
No, I'm sorry, Avalyn, he's out with his friends.
I thought you kinda liked her.
I just... I don't know.
I think I just need a little space from her right now.
I always thought she was a freak anyway.
So, I'm off to bed.
Good night, boys.
I'm a...I'm Zeke. From LA.
What are you doing in New York City?
That's a.. that's a Vermeer.
Well, it's sort of a Vermeer.
You are exquisite.
I guess it's my turn, huh?
Hope these don't frighten you too much.
They...have a habit of popping up in the most inopportune places.
Oh, I know. Don't be worried.
This is gonna be the safest encounter you ever had.
If you could just rub my back.
Really, I need to be touched.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, make me happy.
Make me happy, make me happy...
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, make me happy.
You were percent safe, right?
I told you I just jerked off.
He watched from across the room.
For the first time in my life I'm bothered by it.
Maybe you should try and find some other safer way to make money.
You know, like everyone else.
You're the only one I've ever told.
I never told Eric, or my Mom.
And I know some people might think it's fucked up,
or terrible, or whatever?
But what happened that summer....is a huge part of me.
No one ever made me feel that way, before or since.
Like I was, I was special.
Neil...you were years old.
Yeah, but he really loved me.
I mean, there were other kids sometimes, but...
I was his prize.
I was his one true love.
You didn't have to get me anything.
It's just a little something I picked out.
I thought it'd go great with your hair color.
It's so cool.
I've never been drunk in my life!
I'm corrupting you.
Hey. That's pretty good.
You have definite artistic talent, my boy.
That's an interesting touch.
So, what's the "deep meaning" behind the baseball cleats?
I have no idea.
-How was work? -Fuckin' boring.
-You need a hand? -Sure.
So, I've got news for you.
Hey, me too.
Okay. You first.
Look what my Mom sent me today.
She wants me to come home for Christmas.
Your mom is the coolest.
Like mine would ever do that for me.
I hate Hutchinson more than anything but...
But I'm kind of looking forward to going back...
just for a short visit.
-Plus you get to see Eric. -Yeah.
So what's your news?
I think I found you a job.
I was talking to this friend at work, Rachel, about you.
It's only minimum wage at a stupid sandwich place, but...
You're not into it. Whatever.
No, no, tell me more about it.
Yeah, really? I want to hear more about it.
-You do? -Yeah.
You sure you're gonna be okay?
I'm just glad my Mom's working late.
Thanks for everything.
This has been...the best birthday ever.
-Who's that? -It's my Dad.
Son. I caught you.
Your Mother said she didn't know whether you'd be home or not.
What are you doing here?
I'm not allowed to wish my only son a happy birthday?
Dad, I haven't seen you for what, years?
Well, maybe if you returned my calls once in a while...
Maybe I don't want to return your phone calls, Dad.
Maybe I just want you to leave me alone.
Brian, don't be like this.
I drove all this way.
I just wanted to see how you're doing?
Well, let me tell you what I want to know.
Something happened to me when I was little.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
What happened to me that night I woke up...
bleeding in the cellar?
Where were you that night?
God, I can tell you don't even remember!
Quit avoiding the subject!
I was bleeding, I kept passing out!
I wet my fucking bed and you never asked why!
And what about that Halloween when I blacked out again?
Something happened to me both those nights!
What do you know about it?
I'm sorry, Brian, l...
I can't help you.
Welcome to Subz. May I help you?
-Redecorating? -Sort of, yeah.
So how ya been, Bri?
Good. How's Berkeley?
Hold on, you two.
Why don't we continue this conversation in the front room...
over the peanut-butter peach pie I baked for this occasion?
Good to see you, little brother.
Need a lift?
Where we going?
My place. Don't worry, I'll pay.
-It's Christmas Eve tomorrow. -No more talking.
-Where are we? -Brighton Beach.
Bedroom's this way.
Open wide and suck it, slut.
What are you waiting for, slut?
You like that, don't you, slut?
Take it deep.
Moan for me.
Slut knows what's coming next.
I'm gonna give the slut just what he's begging for...
Wait, wait, wait.
There's some things I don't do.
Wait. I gotta take a piss.
Hold on. I'll be right back.
You're getting fucked, slut, whether you like it or not.
Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut!
God, you love it!
Take that cock all the way up there.
Take it, slut.
Are you ready?
Here it comes.
Are you ready?
You ready? Ready?
Today is the day.
Brian! Now where are you off to?
I'm going out with Eric.
You don't want to stay and talk with your sister a while?
I'll be back soon.
Don't be late, young man.
Christmas Eve dinner's at sharp.
Here we are.
Do I look okay?
Okay's a relative term.
I'm kidding. You look fine.
I'm sure you guys will hit it off great.
I hope you're right.
Oh, hi, Eric.
Hey, Mrs. M. Merry Christmas.
You remember Brian.
Of course I do.
So where's the Man of the Hour?
I was going to call you.
Why? What happened?
There's been an accident.
Neil, he got mugged on the way to the airport.
Is he okay?
He's going to be fine. He's asleep in his room.
Well, maybe we should come back tomorrow.
Or you stay if you'd like, have some cookies...
and we'll see if he's...
Honey, you're up.
The fuck you staring at, Preston?
Brian says that you both were in Little League together.
So how long has it been since you two last saw each other?
months and... days.
Well, you must have a lot of catching up to do.
Turn right off Main by the fairgrounds.
So what the fuck happened?
It's a long story. I'll tell you later.
Just drive for now.
It's nice to see New York hasn't hardened you one bit, McCormick.
So you're the legendary Brian.
We have a lot in common, don't we?
I think so.
Make a left at the next stop sign.
Is this starting to look familiar?
Pick us up in a half hour.
No one's home. Let's go around back.
We have to get in.
I know a way, here.
You were the best player on the team, weren't you?
That's what he always told me.
This was his bedroom.
At least the ceiling's still the same.
I used to get lost for hours staring at all the patterns.
Whirls, speckly, sparkly things.
Oh, man. What's up with these people?
He used to keep these things stocked.
This is it, right?
So, why now? Why did you search me out?
I'm tired of it.
I want to dream about something else for a change.
"Away in a Manger."
It took till I actually laid eyes on you today to remember you.
When Eric wrote me about you, I could only get the vaguest,
hazy picture in my head.
Like a staticky TV.
But seeing you here in this room...
I feel like he's watching us right now.
I have no idea what happened to him.
After that summer, he just disappeared.
I don't even know if he's alive or what.
Maybe it's his ghost that's watching us.
Tell me everything you can.
Well, I was his favorite.
Out of everyone, he picked me.
I know that sounds kind of weird, but,
when it first started happening...
I felt honored.
I don't know, this is where the big TV was,
all the cool video games.
That's the kitchen.
The first time, it happened there.
It lasted that whole summer. Just me and him.
I saw him one other time.
On Halloween, a couple years later.
I was lost.
He said my name.
I thought that was you.
The game had just started.
I was sitting on the bench as always.
It started to rain...
Sprinkles at first, then a downpour.
The ump called the game.
And no one came to pick you up.
My Mom was working and my Dad, who knows?
Everyone else drove off with their parents.
I was left there all alone.
Then you were in the dugout with me and you said...
We'll take you home.
And we got in Coach's station wagon, remember?
He brought us here.
It's all right, Brian.
We're just going to have a little bit of fun.
And he didn't want you in the bedroom because that was just for us.
So it all happened here, in this room.
Don't stop until you've told me everything.
Anytime there was another boy involved,
it was always the same.
Coach used me as a prop to pull you in.
He'd take off my clothes and it was up to me...
to make it seem like fun, like this is a really cool game we were playing.
Go ahead, show him, Neil.
All right, here are the rules.
First I kiss you, then you kiss me back,
then it's his turn.
Are you ready?
Here we go.
You want me to stop?
So I put my tongue in your mouth,
getting it all wet and shiny.
Then it was his turn.
Watching his big lips sucking your face,
I remember thinking, "oh, he's going to swallow his head whole".
So we took off your clothes and you made this...
whimpering puppy sound that Coach always loved.
Coach and me had this thing where he would open up his mouth,
and wrap it around my dick and balls and everything all at once.
He did that to me.
Then I tried to do it to you but couldn't because...
my mouth was too small.
he went down on you.
For what seemed like a really long time.
Your eyes were closed mostly, but every now and then...
they would flutter open, and just had this glassy, faraway look.
And then I leaned in and whispered.
It's fun, right? Tell him you think it's fun.
We're almost finished.
You're gonna be able?
Then we played the dollar game.
When Coach would ask me to do things, crazy sex things.
And if I could do them, he'd give me a dollar bill.
It's okay. Go ahead, Neil.
He made us fist him. Do you know what that is?
I went first, of course.
And on that night, the dollars was mine if I could ram...
my little fist up his ass and wring it all the way to the elbow.
And goddamn it, I did it.
I'll never forget how it felt.
It felt like his whole body was trying to suck me into it.
And then I did it too.
And then we drove you back to Little River and left you in your driveway.
And my nose was bleeding.
How did that happen?
When it was over and we were getting you dressed,
your face looked like you'd been erased.
Like you were just empty inside.
And you just fell.
Face first on the floor. Bam.
And when we pulled you up, your nose was bleeding.
Shh. Stop. Stop. Stop.
What are you doing?
No one's even home.
No, someone's there.
I can see them.
Look, I see them, too.
What's going on?
I think that someone's in there.
# Silent night. #
# Holy night. #
# All is calm. #
# All is bright. #
And as we sat there listening to the carolers,
I wanted to tell Brian it was over now and everything would be okay.
But that was a lie, plus, I couldn't speak anyway.
I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past.
But there wasn't.
There was nothing we could do.
So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate...
how sorry I was about what had happened.
And I thought of all the grief and sadness...
and fucked up suffering in the world...
and it made me want to escape.
I wished with all my heart that we could just...
Ieave this world behind.
Rise like two angels in the night and magically...