Noi The Albino Script - Dialogue Transcript

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Noi The Albino Script



Noi, I think you're going

to be late for school.



Noi, you're going to

be late for school.






Kiddi! What are

you doing here?



I've come to raise my son.

- Isn't that a little bit late?



Oh, shut up Mum.



What are you hanging around

for? You're late for school.



I'm coming.



I got this letter from your




He's talking about poor

attendance. Is it true, Noi?



How come YOU got this letter?



Well, maybe because

I'm your father.



You're a bright kid, but you

lack punctuality and discipline.



Now... how is the expression...



Punctuality is the key to

The Temple of Discipline.



The Temple of Discipline

doesn't sound too cosy.



Well, you know what I mean.



Sorry I'm late.



Maybe evening school would suit

you better, Noi?



Or a correspondence

college perhaps?



Is something going on? Yes,

a maths exam is taking place.



Did we forget to send

you an invitation?



Teacher sir? Can you

lend me a pencil?



Here you go.



What's this supposed to mean?






Are you handing it in like







And what mark do you think

you'll get for it?






No, no, no! You get zero point

five for writing your name!



Really? That's better

than I expected.



I don't serve customers

without a proper greeting



Good afternoon.



Good afternoon.



I'll have a bottle of malt ale.



Listen to this:



Either you get married or

you don't get married,



You will regret both.



Laugh at the stupidity of the world;

You will regret it.



Cry over it; you will also regret it.



Laugh at the stupidity

of the world,



or cry over it;

You will regret both.



Either you laugh at the

stupidity of the world,



or you cry over it;

You will regret both.



Hang yourself; You will regret

it. Don't hang yourself,



You will also regret it.



Hang yourself or don't hang yourself,

You will regret both.



Either you hang yourself or you don't

hang yourself, You will regret both.



This, my dear gentlemen,

is the core of all human wisdom.



What was that?



Some fucking piece of bullshit.



Kierkegaard... = Graveyard... That's

a suiting name for such an idiot.



What are you doing?



No garbage in my store.

I got to get organized.



Give it to me then.



I don't give things away.



Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon.



Are you new

around here?






I'll have a bottle

of malt-soda.



Drink it here?

- What?



Do you want to

drink it here?



Would you like me to?

- No. Not specifically.



Then why do you ask?

- Because there are two ways:



Either you drink it here and

return the bottle afterwards,



or you pay extra for the

bottle and take it with you.



Was that the

only reason?



Are you retarded,

or what?



No, just a joke.



Lets get it over with.



God damn it, kid.



Its uncanny how lucky you are.



Have you seen the new girl

at the petrol station?



You leave her alone.



What do you mean?



Iris is my daughter



She needs to take a break

from the crazy city life.



And if you don't leave her alone,

I'll break your neck!



Bonjour. Today I'll teach you

how to make real mayonnaise.



To make mayonnaise you'll need egg... some oil... mustard...



I start by breaking the egg



What is left?



In Icelandic the yoke is red,

in French the yoke is yellow.



Red equals yellow, OK?

Write that down!



This only applies to eggs.



I add the mustard...



Stir, and add

the oil.



I continue stirring.



Never ever switch hands...

Never turn the other way around.



And never ever stop...



- Sorry to bother you,

is Noi here?



Well that is one way

of looking at it.



Noi, can I have one word with you.



Is something wrong?



No, no.



Never ever stop.



Oh no,






its ruined.



We have a Psychiatrist in the

school for a couple of days



And I think it might be a good idea

to let him take a look at you



What for?



Oh, just a little check:

See if everything is alright.



Why me?



Well, maybe because there have

been a few incidents regarding you



And then its just splendid to use

this opportunity - Here.



Can I refuse?



Don't be silly. He is not going to

hurt you. Just a little chat.



Good afternoon.

Have a seat.



Are we in a

good m_od today?



Yes. Guess so.



I have a few questions for you



Answer according to your

best conscience,



and don't take too

much time to think.







Do you sometimes dream yourself?



I don't know.



Do you hate animals?



Not at all.



Do you walk around in your sleep?



Not that I know of.



Are you afraid of flying.



I never tried flying.



Do you see yourself as being dirty.






How often do you masturbate?



Is this a part of the test

or just personal interest?



Yes, it is... a part of the test.



How often do you masturbate?



You are answering the questions,

not me.



If you answer me,

I'll answer you.



I'm not here to joke around

if that is what you think.



I am here to help.



Lets just forget about this...

here is an ID test.



I'll be right back.






Get out of the sofa.



Elvis Aaron! Your damn

hair is all over the place!



Sorry about the state I'm in, my boy.



I've got this awful toothache

and I can't even leave the house.



Must be a loose filling, I've never

suffered such pain before.



That's better.






Is it fun at school?



Its alright.



That's good.



Any cute girls at school?



You haven't started

having sex yet?



You're not homosexual, are you?

- Shut up.






I'll teach you a trick

that never fails:



You ask the cutest chick: Have

you put on some weight?



I promise you, she won't leave

you alone until you have...



Slept with her.



It never fails!



Just remember to use a condom.



Unwanted children don't let you know

they're coming, you know what I mean.



I think I'll go now. - Really?

Am I being boring?






Sorry Noi. This toothache is just...

- See ya.



I'll phone you next week and

take you out to dinner. Ok?






Hello. - Hi, Kiddi here. Listen,

I'm in such pain I was wondering



Whether you could cover my shift.

- I don't know.



Please Noi, do it for your old man.

You can get half if you want.






That's the spirit. Just

remember to b_ careful.



I'll be killed if something

goes wrong.



OK, bye.



I'll have a bottle of malt ale

...I'll drink it here.



Can I have one?



Don't you know how to smoke?



Its no big deal. Try again.



Don't suck like that,



just inhale twice slowly, first into

your mouth, then into your lungs.



Like you were saying "Amen"

while you inhale.



That's better.






Good evening.

- Is Dabbi home?




- Hi.



Do you wanna go for a ride?

- I have to do my homework.



Homework? You've got your

whole life to do that.



I don't know.



I think I'll just stay home. - Close

the door! I can feel the draft.



Can I come in, then? There is

something I have to tell you.



Some other time. Dad doesn't

allow guests in the house.



Am I a guest? - Common,

you know how Dad is.



David! Close the door, I say.



See you later, then?




- Yes.




- Yes.










- Yes.




- Yes.






Not here.




- What?



Noi is sort of here...



Sort of here? Either

you are here or not.



As far as I can see, Noi

is clearly not here.




- Yes.



Alfred? He gave me this

substitute. He was very busy



and told me to record

the whole thing.






And now for some exercises you

can easily practice at home...



lift and bend down, lift and...



Last but not least, lets do

the yanka-move...



left, left, right, right,

forward, backwards, forward...



I can't stand it anymore.

I've tried but now I've had enough.



Noi must be expelled.



What is it now?



He's driving me nuts.

- Oh, dear.



He thinks he can skip school by

recording the lessons with this.



Fucking neat gadget, man.



The psychiatrist thinks he

is a wonder kid.



Oh, yeah? Really!?



I can't believe you're

going to take some



smart ass from the

city seriously.



There, there.



What are you going to do?



Shouldn't we wait a while and see

if things don't settle down somehow?



I can't take it anymore. Either

Noi's expelled from this school




or I'll resign, immediately.



Liver. Noi,

the liver!



I need to get going.



Going where?



A date.



Fat chance. You aren't going

anywhere until we finished this.



Bring the blood.



Where do you want it?

- Over there.



How about your place?

- No way.



Don't you have a plan then?



Not really. Just to be with you,

I guess.



This cold is killing me.



I know a place where we can go



A party

- Where?



You'll see.



Watch out!



What are you doing?



I'm so cold.



I don't want to be here.

This place is spooky.



Spooky? Its the wildest

party place in town.




- Not at all.



Is someone there?



Try to press Iceland.



Its not an option.



There is no Iceland.



Look at Iceland.

Its like a spit.



Want to run away?



Where to?



Press a button.



Always a surprise to see

a white raven



Come with me right away. There's

something we ought to discuss.



Actually, I have a class right now

- That will have to wait.



Please, have a seat.



Things have reached the

point now where



we have no idea what to

do in your case.



You are a notoriously bad student

and what is more:



Your lack of discipline and respect

for this educational institution



is atrocious, and



not the kind of example

your classmates should follow.



I've always liked you, Noi.



I think you have more in you

than your performance shows.



But the last straw



is this tape recorder



showing up in school

instead of you.



What direction do you think

the school would take



If other students behaved like you?

Everybody's trying to help you



But you proudly ignore all signs

leading onto the right path.



I can't see any solution but to expel

you from this school at once.



I am sorry.



I understand you perfectly,

Thorarinn, I may not have fitted...



Noi. Don't.



One final warning?



Too late. The teachers are

threatening to resign.



I can't afford loosing more people.



Please. My Dad will go crazy.

Can't we reach an agreement?



There is no time for




Its ridiculous.



Why are you in this school?

Because of your Dad?







What's going on?



There's no music in

that heap of trash.



Should I come back later?



No, no. Take a seat

and be happy.



I can easily come back if

you're in a bad mood.



Sit down, Noi. Talk to me.






Don't throw it all

away like I did.



I've been expelled from school.



Don't joke with me, please.



I'm trying to honest for once

so don't joke with me.



I'm not joking. Those jerks

threw me out.



How can you do this to me?



How can you treat me...



Relax. Its not you that got expelled.



Are you mouthing at me,

you fucking creep?



Are you trying to be

a big man in my house?












Ouch! OK, I submit.



Sorry, Noi.



I just can't stand

this kind of thing.



Lets not think about it,




Thorarinn headmaster

has ruined our day



but he is not going to ruin

our evening as well.



Now, lets go out for dinner.



Stand up, Noi.






Come and give me a hug.



Don't be ridiculous.



Please. Stand up.



Just one little hug.



My dear little boy.



We make quite a team together.



Lets have a drink.



What do you want?



One large beer. - You heard

the gentleman, sir.



Do you have any ID?



Its my son. I'll keep

an eye on him.



I never serve I alcohol to

customers below twenty.



A pleasure seeing men taking

their profession seriously!



Give the boy some lemonade.



And how about a straw, sir?



Yellow straw, please.



Happy family?



How about a song, boys?

Bring out the list.



Number eighteen.



What in the world do you

think you're doing?






Is somebody out there?



Noi? What on earth are you

doing on my roof?



Didn't I tell you to keep

your hands off Iris?



Iris is a good girl.

- Yes, yes.



She deserves something better

than a creep with a bloody nose.



Have you been fighting?

- No, just a str_ke of bad luck.



You're a good kid.



But still not exactly a prince

on the white horse.



I mean: What do you plan to be?



A lawyer.






What's going on?



What are you two laughing at?

What are you doing here?



I should be going.



You can stay here if you want.



Actually, that's out of the question.



Its the middle of night, Dad.

- Its still out of the question.



Why not? There's plenty of room

on the sofa. Come, Noi.



I'll just go home. - No, no,

you can go home tomorrow.



Hello, Gylfi.



How do you do?



Could you please tell

Noi his future.



He has been expelled

from school.



I am afraid he's following

the wrong path.



Actually, I'm retiring from business.

- Oh, I knew I could count on you.



Obviously, he is not

the academic type,



but if you could trace

a business-talent



or craftsmanship,

please let him know.



He needs to be guided

to a straight path.



All right then.

I'll see what I can do.



That's wonderful, Gylfi.

God bless you.



Noi? Wake up!

- Don't.



Get up boy!



Why? - If found a job for you.



What kind of a job?



I've just spoken to the Reverend.

He needs help at the graveyard.



Graveyard. Doing what?

- Whatever drops by.



Drops by, my ass. Tell that

Reverend Nerd to jump up his ass.



I've just used MASSIVE connections

to get us this job, Noi!



Take off you're shoes, Kiddi!

- Oh, shut up, Mom.



Can you hear me?



I'm on the walkie-talkie.






Noi, I'm on the walkie-talkie

lying on the table.



Noi, over.



Listen, I want you to dig me a grave.



If you move a little to the East.



No, no, no. I said East.



Can you see me? - Sure.

I'm watching you right now.



Why don't you just come down

here and show me then?



I'm too far away. I'm watching

you through binoculars.



Go all the way to the East

of the cemetery, pal.



Where's East?



Don't you know the directions, kid?



Can't you just say right or

left, or hot/cold or something?



Well, you're ice-cold at the moment.



You're getting warmer.



No, no! Now you're below

freezing point!



You are getting warmer again...



No,_no! You are hopeless.

I'm coming over.



Beside that grave is where you

should dig the hole. - How big?



 .   long,  .   wide

and   metres deep.



Holy cow! Three metres!!

Are you crazy?



Not at all. These are just

government standards.



Its hopeless to dig such

a deep hole in this frost.



Lets make it  .   then,

but don't tell anybody.



Two metres.



No, no. That would be

a total scandal.



Two twenty.



Two thirty is the absolute

minimum. I can't go beyond that.






And keep your mouth shut. This

is just between the two of us.



Yes, sir.



Petrol Station, good afternoon.

- Hi, Noi here.



What's up? - Not much.

Just dying of boredom as usual.



Are you coming over?

- I have to go see Gylfi.



Gylfi, who?



The fortune teller.



Gylfithe Fortune Teller?



What for?



My grandmother thinks he can

see some future for me.



Never, ever.



What do you mean?



Come to me instead.

I'll tell you what he sees.



Can you also see peoples fortune?



Of course not.



Its just that all fortune

tellers in the world



always say the same thing.



And what is that?



That in the future they see

a lot of money and



a journey to exotic places,



and a new person, that brings

love and happiness.



Sounds good to me.



Its just what everybody

WANTS to hear, idiot.



Sounds just like reality to me.



What do you mean?



This new person might

as well be you



we've been planning to run

away to exotic places



all we need is a little bit of money

and everything will work out for us.



In your dreams.



Could we speed up a bit?

I'm only on my lunch break.



The cup must dry a little.



Lets have look.



I see changes ahead,

as if...



Excuse me.



Something wrong?



Do you really want to know?






There is nothing but imminent

death in this cup.



What kind of a dopehead are you?



Give me all you're money!



Noi? Is this a joke?



Give me the money or else

I'll blow your brains out.



There, there, Noi.



What's going on? - SHUT UP




You shou_dn't play with firearms,

you should be old enough to know.



Beat it before

I call the police.



I would like to withdraw

all money from account    .



Fill out these forms, please.



Lets see. These are very nice

woollen suits. Try them.



Superior quality.






The suits are as good as it gets,

and you fit them perfectly.



Lets go.



Go where?

- Lets run away from it all.



Aren't you coming?



Hurry up.



God damn, lady! You're

starting to getting fat.












There is someone alive

down here!



Hello, Noi.



It was a great blessing that

you survived the avalanche.



Unfortunately, not everyone was

so lucky.



It is unbelievably painful for me

to inform you that...



Unfortunately, the avalanche took

the lives of your grandmother



and your father.



Now, I don't know where you're

beliefs lies...



But I recommend that we say

the Lords Prayer together.



I don't think I know

the Lords Prayer.



Do you know another prayer?






But its ok.



The number of fatalities in the

avalanche has been confirmed.



Ten people lost their lives.



Their names will be read now.



Special help by SergeiK