Oceans 12 Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Oceans 12 script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta Jones, etc..  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Oceans 12. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Oceans 12 Script






-how'd it go?




Got a '63  Thunderbird

I would've sold in a day a year ago.



Now they just wanna look at the pictures.



You smell nice.



how was your day?



It was great.



We had a big breakthrough

in the Bulgari case.






We found a boot print.



A really good one.



The left heel was worn way down.



That's a good lead.



I know.



We found a hair.



A hair, wow.



It's at the Iab.



So hopefully by noon tomorrow

we'll find out his DNA...



...what kind of conditioner he uses,

if he streaks his hair...



...if he has dandruff, everything.

Isn't that amazing?



That is amazing.



You know, having those

extra men really paid off.



Oh, you're just being modest.



Are you coming to bed, baby?



I'm just gonna have a shower.

Don't Iet me keep you up.



-Good morning.

-Good morning.



-And you are Mr...?

-Diaz. MigueI Diaz.



-And you're here to open a...?

-A SEP retirement account.



Terrific. Oh, it says here

you're already retired.



-I am.

-What was your occupation?



I was a high school basketball coach.



You must have done

very well for yourseIf.



-What's your name?




Greg. Let me ask you something.

Do you have safe-deposit boxes here?



Yes, they're housed in our vauIt.



-In your vault?

-It's over     years old.



Of course, we've made some

state-of-the-art upgrades since then.



You know, I was once in a vault

while it was being robbed.



That must have been quite an experience.









That's too oxblood.



What do y'all do?



My husband and I?



Well, he's retired. Just retired.



It's great. It's....



And I did work at an art gallery.



And, you know, I love art,

obviousIy, and paint and....



That's too brown. I'm sorry.

Do you mind if I--?



-hey, it's your paint.

-Okay. Thank you.



May I show you something specific?



Well, I was looking

for something for my wife.



What is it, a speciaI occasion?



It's our second third anniversary.



Excuse me. hello, Mrs. Diaz,

we were just talking about you.



-How'd it go at the bank?

-It was easy.



I mean great.



No, you mean easy.






You're doing recon work

on our anniversary?




-Let me ask you this:



-Where are you now?

-Casing a jewelry store.



That's an interesting way to ease back

into society, which was your idea.



-Should I stop painting now?




Let's talk about something important.

I can't find a restaurant for tonight.



-Well, we'll stay in.




-Great. I'll cook.

-No, I'll cook. You talk.



You want me to talk?



Words and everything? That's what

they make flowers for, you know.



-Oh, no, Danny.

-What is it?






...what's wrong?



There's water in the basement

and the pllot llght is out.



Hang up!



hello, Tess.



Where is he, Tess?



Where is...



...Mr. Diaz?



I want it back, Tess.



I want it all back.



-You got it all from the insurance company.

-I want my money back.



The money that your husband

and his    friends stole from me.



With interest. A hundred and sixty

million dollars over three years.



That's a lot of vig.



And I want it all back.



he's got two weeks.



You'll never find them.



They're way too smart for you.






You know, as it turns out...



...I'm not the only person in the worId

looking for Ocean's    .



All right.



I'm the groom, and I'm not supposed

to say anything, but-- Make a speech.



But I don't care what the rules are,

because I really wanna thank my family.



My mom and dad,

my Uncle Gary and Aunt Grace.



Uncle Ted, Aunt Celeste...



...and their children, Denise and Jessica.



Bishop Tom and his wife, Helen,

my neighbor John...



...and his new girlfriend, Tanya.



And all the guys at Lean Machine Inc.,

Bobo, Mullethead...



...Big Sam.



And everyone else

who's just been great...



...in weIcoming Sara

into the famlly. Thank you.



Excuse me, everybody. I'd just like to--



-Get up.

-Get up.



-Get up.

-Get up. Get up.







I'd like to say a few words

about commitment...



...about honor...



...about responsibility...



...about a very special someone

and admitting to her....



Get up. Pull the chair out.



Admitting to her in front of everybody...



...that her wedding...



...and that very special

honeymoon trip to Epcot Center...



...will have to be postponed.



The photographer. Jesus, he's just a friend.

You met him at The Mint, remember?



Well, of course I am.



You don't expect me to embarrass myseIf

by fIying commerciaI?



On a budget? On a budget?



Who was the onIy person who couldn't

get in on the Chinese cell-phone market?



You, with all your connections.

What was that?



he seemed really nice. And you know

it's hard for guys to be friends with me.



And you do this every time

that I meet someone new.



And you know what?

It's getting really boring.



You think it's a accident

no one know about Fred ''Bud'' Kelly?



Ain't no accident.

There's one expIanation...



...and you Iadies

know exactIy what it is.



I'm gonna tell you what it is.



Conspiracy, collusion, compllcity.

That's all it is.



Let me break it down like a fraction for you

about my man Fred ''Bud'' Kelly.



Fred ''Bud'' Kelly made skates

out of whiskey bottIes...



...at his uncIe's farm in the earIy      s.

That was over there in Nova Scotia.



I'm gonna tell you something else. You

never seen his name on the StanIey Cup.



You know why that is?

Because that son of a bitch Jim Crow...



...took his name off the history books.

You kind of--



Seems like every time I see you,

you're pIaying the race card, Frank.



Now, why is that?



You can Iet go of my feet now.



-This don't bother you?

-Of course it * * * * * * * bothers me, mate.



-What the * * * * do you want me to do?

-Well, it's * * * * * * up.



You can't hear none of the Iyrics.



You can't get with the beat

with all them * * * * * * * bIeeps in it.



You want a * * * * * * * singIe on the * * * * * * *

radio, it's what you have to * * * * * * * do.



Well, it's * * * * * *, isn't it?

Totally * * * * * * !



* * * * * * * right, it's * * * * * * * * * * * * * .



What the * * * * is that?



Somebody must be in  .



Oh, * * * * !



And you haven't contacted

my father about any of this?



Because, really, I don't think there's

any reason to invoIve him or my mom.



It's all on you, Linus.



Okay. Good.



-Good. Because I have a whole network--

-Get out of my car.



Thank you.



-Mr. Bloom?




There appears to be

a sllght probIem with your card.



Oh, well, yes. here.



I'm afraid not, sir.






Your business manager

said you would understand.



Todd said I would understand?



No, Mr. Benedict.



Mr. Benedict. Mr....



Oh, yes.



An old friend, a practicaI joker.



Tell Mr. Benedict

he's won this round, yes.



Terry Benedict.



old Terry.



She's looking at me

from across the room.



And she's crazy about me, I can tell...



...because she's been staring

at me all night. So suddenIy...



...I just go up to her, and I grab her.



And I've got her really close to me...



...and her eyes are all fiery.



And my eyes are fiery.



And it's like-- It's eIectric.



And I say to her, ''Mom....









Thanks for Ietting me finish.



What can I say?



You're a funny guy.



Oh, yeah. My friend Rusty.

I'm worried about him.



he owns this hotel in Los AngeIes...



...Iosing a Iot of money,

and he's got no llfe.



he's a nice, bright kid,

but he's beating his brains out.



Do you think I could send something

through you, like, a message to him?



I read your paIm, not his.



Somebody who could do that could do

very well. Anything on my heaIth?



-My hips are bothering me.




This? You couldn't see this?



-I tried knocking, he won't open.

-I'll handIe it. I know him.



Jesus Christ, are you peopIe retarded?



-It says, ''Do not disturb'' !

-It's me.






Come on in.



Jeez, Topher, you didn't

have to go all Frankie Muniz on me.



I'm sorry.

Rust, look, I know this is your joint.



I just....



There's this girI.



I love her, man.



I love her, but she is driving me crazy!



I can't sIeep. I can't work.



I quit the show. I totally phoned in

that Dennis Quaid movie.



-I mean, it's like....




God, it's aImost like this

KabbaIah crap doesn't even work!



Rusty, call for you.



Dude, don't Ieave.




-I have a message for Robert Charles Ryan...



...soon to be ex-owner

of the Standard Hotel.



-You got him.

-Last time we spoke, you hung up on me.



You used some nasty words.

I got sensitive ears.



I admit I was a little

emotional that evening.



Think about that night a Iot,

don't you?



I thought I'd be dead before

I heard the sound that kllIed me.



I've been asked to show restraint.

Otherwise, you would've gone out...



...to your favorite car of all the    you own,

and as soon as you turned on the ignition....



You got two weeks.



Now, you told me that your wife said

that he called it Ocean's     .



Now, who decided that?

I'm a private contractor.



It was a collaboration.

That moniker is insuIting.



It was one job we did together.



I don't know where this proprietary stance

comes from. It seems possessive.



One could make the argument

that because it was Danny's idea--



hang on a minute.

We all had our own areas of expertise.



I mean, without us,

it don't Ieave your head, mate.



It just hurts, you know, because...



...it seemed we all agreed

to call it ''the Benedict job.''



That's what we called it

when we were doing it.



If you wanted to call it

something else--



When you have a probIem,

who do you go to?








Let's get back on the topic.



Based on what we stoIe, pIus interest...



-...how much does everybody owe?

-$   .   million.



Assuming Benedict gives us

prime pIus one, which I doubt.



Figure     to be safe.



Okay,     each. Anybody got that?



What, you think the stock market's

some great mystery...



...beyond the reaIm of human

understanding? Didn't you see the signs?



I saw the signs.



how much is everybody short?



how much you short?



Fourteen. Fourteen.



-All but   million?

-Yeah. You gonna start with me?



You don't know what it's like

to create something from scratch.



-Well, with interest, I'm short  .




I spent about a million,

mostIy on taIent deveIopment.



That makes it   for me.

Boy, the interest just kllIs you.



-I'm llght  .

-What's the interest?



-About  .

-Then I owe  .







I've been staying at my parents' .



I owe   .



hotels, man.






I haven't spent it all, but I will.



I'm out, fellas.



As ranking old-timer,

I gotta say, I just can't do it.



At my age, I think I earned

the right to be seIfish.



I wanna thank you all for the wonderfuI

opportunity. You're all aces in my book.



But I want the Iast check

I write to bounce.



SauI, you having a Iaugh?






-I can handIe SauI's share.

-You don't have to.



Who would I talk to if you were all dead?



That's a good point.

All right, I owe    . Amazing?



Yeah, but it's a nice pIace.



-So that comes to...?

-Ninety-seven, give or take.



he didn't find us on his own.



-Someone heIped him.

-Another thief.



Nobody we know would

vioIate ruIe number one.



What we do know is we need a job.

We need a high-paying job.



We're too hot to work

anywhere in this country.



-So we go abroad. how about we go--?

-We're on the  :  .



Good. Where are we going?




-Amsterdam it is.



-CIock's running. Let's go.

-Never been to Amsterdam.



I hear German girIs are really hot.










Don't tell Danny.



hey, Rusty. Rusty.



Sorry, sorry. hey.



What are you doing?

What's wrong with you?







-Can I--? Can I--?




-Just for a second, can I talk to you?

-What's wrong?



I just-- I don't know.



This might not be the perfect time

or whatever to talk about it.




-I've been thinking.



I've been doing my homework.



And I'd really like...



...to pIay a more centraI roIe

this time around.




-I feel like I've--




-I'm ready for that, and I--



Way overdue.



I was wondering if I could come to

the meeting and heIp you guys negotiate.



Okay. It's just a sit-down with Matsui.



he's got his own Ianguage, this guy.



I watched you and Danny really closeIy

Iast time around. I Iearned a ton.



Linus, in my professionaI opinion,

you're not ready.



-Okay. Yeah, I mean--

-But-- But-- But...



...if you're convinced you are ready...



...I can speak with Danny.

We can make this happen.



But you gotta be sure.



-Not sure?

-No, I am.



-You're sure?

-But if I had a question, I could--



-You would call me?

-Right. Okay.



Any time.







-All right.

-Okay. Awesome. Thank you.






I aImost wasn't gonna

come over and say anything.



Then I'd still be sIeeping.



-Thanks, buddy.




-Who's there?

-Li-- It's--




-It's Linus.



Is Rusty here? Rusty...?



-Do you know where Rusty is?




So have you met Matsui?



SeriousIy, what do you think of me...



...you know, in terms

of just Ieadership potentiaI?



The fact that we're unempIoyabIe

shouldn't enter your mind.



Otherwise, you're wasting time.



Don't mention Benedict

unIess he does first.



And if he does, tell him everything.



Right. Stay on point. And don't

forget the other thing I told you.




-About llstening.



ReIax. Remember, if we don't

get this job, we're dead.



Rusty, I tried calling you

all yesterday.



So finally, she sIams her vodka tonic

down on the tray and says:



''hey, maybe that's why

I've been feellng so warm recentIy.''






-So to business?

-To business.



A doctor who speciallzes in skin diseases...



...will dream he has fallen asIeep

in front of the teIevision.



Later, he will wake up

in front of the teIevision...



...but not remember his dream.



would you agree?



If all the animaIs aIong the equator

were capabIe of fIattery...



...then Thanksgiving and halloween...



...would fall on the same date.



Yeah. hey.



When I was   years old...



...I watched my mother

kllI a spider with a tea cozy.



Years Iater, I reallzed it was not a spider.



It was my UncIe harold.



Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face



Stars to fill my dreams



I am a traveler in both time and space



To be where I have been



Is he all right? Are we all right?




-Is that your idea of making a contribution?



-We hadn't even started yet.

-We were this close to Iosing that.



Okay, I don't even understand what

happened in there. What did I say?



-You called his niece a whore.

-A cheap one.



-She's  .

-Confined to bed with a case of--



-No, don't tell him about it.

-I'm sorry.



Okay. So, what does this mean?



It means you stay here.



The mark's name is van der Woude.

A semi-known, wealthy recluse.



He claims to sell antiques,

but hasn't actually sold one.



His store is his privately owned home,

which no one ever enters.



But don't let van der Woude's

eccentricity fool you.



The house is extremely well-protected.



-What are we after?

-It's a document.



It's a very old, very vaIuabIe document.



-Yeah, what is it?

-A stock certificate.



The first one ever issued

from the first corporation on the pIanet.



Dutch East India Trading Company.



-The onIy one of its kind.

-What's the take?



 .  million euro.



Wait. Each?




-Who negotiated this?



-That's a Iot of money to a Iot of peopIe.

-Are you out of your mind?



If we do one job a week at that rate,

we won't pay Benedict off untll....



-September     .

-Jesus Christ, Danny.



I hear you, but it's what's avallabIe.



After we pull this job off...



...Matsui's gonna throw us another.

It's gonna pay     times this one.



-Which will buy an extension from Benedict.

-You hope.



I hope. Now, the good news is that

Matsui gave us the system's master code.



-So, what are we waiting for?

-Van der Woude.



-That's the bad news.

-he never leaves.



-he's agoraphobic.

-he's never been out of his house?



-Not in    years since he moved in.

-Does he believe in fresh air?



-he opens his window.

-What does that mean?



-Best time of arrivaI.

-Means he opens his window.



Every night at  :   he takes an Ambien,

puts on Beethoven's Third.



By the fourth movement, he's out

like a llght. So we go in at   a.m.



Okay, can we tap into the system

from the phone llnes?



It's a closed-Ioop system with two servers

Iocked in titanium cases next to his bed.



-So hacking in is out.

-Look at this.



TeIephone-repair truck,

basket up to the second fIoor.



TeIescoping rod through the window,

tap out the freak's code.



-Dumb idea. One Iane, one-way streets.

-Dumb idea.



All right? Any stoppage will bring cops.



The outside is covered

by five survellIance cameras.



Monitored    hours a day

by a security company.



he's got five exterior cameras?



-This guy is a freak.

-Super freak.



What about through the roof?



-Two more cameras, pressure sensors--

-A Iaser net over the trap door--



-Smoke the freak out.




-Smoke the freak out.





-Do we have to use that term?



-What term?




The NationaI Institute of MentaI heaIth

estimates  .  percent of adults...



-...deveIop ''agraphoriaphobia.''




Whatever. I'm just saying,

I mean, do we...?



We don't need to be an

organization that IabeIs peopIe.



Oh, now we're an organization?



You'd call Emlly Dickinson a freak?



-Are you hosting a teIethon?

-Who's Emlly Dickinson?



Am I the onIy one who feels funny

about steallng from a...?



You know, a handicapped guy?



-Well, I don't care.

-hell, yeah.



I feel funny about other things.

















-Ahab with a piggyback. Livingston?

-I can get anything.



-It's done.

-Ahab with what?




-You're making that up. That's--



That whole ''Ahab with a piggyback,''

that's not reaI?



-Let me in.

-how do you think it feels...



-...when someone bangs on the door?

-I gotta go to the tollet.



Otherwise, I'm gonna shit on your feet.

Come on.



Show me them specs.



I've been doing this since

I'm    years old. You're micromanaging.



You gotta find peopIe you can deIegate to.

Otherwise, you'll never have a llfe.



I don't want a llfe. I want the hotel

to run like a hotel should.












-Okay. Good.







Remember in Miller's Crossing

where Turturro begs for his llfe?



Sure. ''Look into your heart.''



I cry every time.






We have no llne of sight.



Our onIy possibllity, the window.

We're three inches too high.



There's no cIear shot, even with Basher.



In the physicaI universe we occupy,

it cannot be done.



What about the guy

from the BuIgari job?



-NageI. Spoke with him.




Lot of ideas, none of them any good.



he's pushing this new

hoIographic technoIogy.



Really interesting stuff, though.

he can reproduce anything  -D.



how about    million?



We're forcing it.



Yeah, we're forcing it.



-You know what we haven't thought of?




We turn ourseIves in.



-What could Benedict do to us then?

-There you go.



Call the cops,

tell them we did the Bellagio job.



They put us away for    years.

That'd teach him.



I think Tess would stick around.



You look great in jumpsuits.






-...how's the hotel business?




-how's East haven?




I don't know.



Can't turn my brain off, you know.

It's me.



We go into some pIace,

and all I can do is see the angIes.



It's what I do. It's what

I've aIways done. I love it.



I don't know.



Some sort of weird irony, you know?



Tess watching me scratch and itch.



hey, llsten. You know,

the worId's gone nuts and you're....



-What'd you wanna do?

-It's not attached to the adjacent bulldings.



-The whole house?

-We're just raising it sllghtIy.



Schumann did it in '   in Venice

and '   in IstanbuI.



-he onIy had a crew of six.

-We can't tilt a house.



-Did it with the Leaning Tower of Pizza.

-ExactIy, thank you.



-It took     men over two years to do it.

-There's    pyIons.



We cut them, insert the jacks

and crank away.



It's really our best pIan,

considering it's our onIy pIan.



-Crank for how long?

-Like I said, it's our onIy pIan.






Oh, oh, okay, hold on.



Try that.



Number five. I'm a go.



Master thieves who practice the Iong con

live separate lives as civllians.



They have Iegitimate jobs and famllies...



...which make them

extremeIy difficult to catch.



The greatest thief of all time was,

without question...



...Gaspar LeMarc, who either dled

in PortugaI in      ...



...or in hong Kong in      

or he's still alive.



We may never know for certain,

because LeMarc...



...was never captured or photographed...



...despite being active for over    years.



Though he left behind a sIew

of imitators...



...onIy one is worth mentioning

in the same breath as LeMarc:



The thief we know onIy

as the Night Fox.



So named for the small onyx figurines

he Ieaves behind to taunt us...



...the Night Fox must be considered

our number-one priority.



his string of high-proflle crimes are

an embarrassment to our branch...



...to our entire profession.



We need more than traditionaI resources

to pursue thieves like the Night Fox.



We need to train ourseIves to think the

way they think, to see what they see.



And we should not allow ourseIves

to be distracted--



I'm sorry. Someone just robbed

the van der Woude house.






hi, IsabeI. Well, we could really use

your heIp on this one.



I hope the scene hasn't

been contaminated.



When can I speak to Mr. van der Woude?



Probably tomorrow. he's heavlly sedated.



We can't figure out how they disabled

the alarm. Shorted it out somehow?



No, that would have triggered the system

and damaged the circuits.



Well, then.

Then I don't know how they got in.



They had the code. Someone other than

the owner must have known it.



ImpossibIe. Van der Woude programmed

the Iast nine steps of the system.



he set it and never left the house again.



closed Ioop. Redundant servers.

Titanium encasement.



It's not bad, actually.



Yeah. Thanks.



Do we know each other?



-I think I saw you yesterday.

-Oh, yeah?



Yeah, you were being chased

by the pollce.



Chasing me? No. I don't think so.



I'm quite sure it was you.



Doesn't say much for the police.



No, I love Rome. I love it.



But there's an opening at work

the IeveI above me, and it's--



I was thinking I was gonna try out for it.

It's in Amsterdam.



My mother has famlly there, so it'd be--

It'd be good.



-He lifted the whole house?

-The whole house.



-The entire house?

-The entire house.



It's called a Schumann Special...



...named after this guy, a brilliant guy,

Max Schumann.



Then he did it in Istanbul in     .



What is it?



It's where the crossbow boIt hit.



The crossbow boIt?



They fired from that rooftop

through this open window.



With a crossbow boIt from that roof

through that window?



-That's a very difficult shot.

-No, it is an impossible shot...



...untll they raised the building.



Check the pylons. They'll be elevated.



-You know the name Max Schumann?




-Well, they do.




The Americans.



Wait a minute.



ExactIy. Why would they bring the drill

if they weren't planning to use it?




-Oh, God.




-I don't know.



Congratulations. You are the second person

to crack the van der Woude safe tonight.



In arriving second, Mr. Ocean,

you havejoined a long line...



...of people who've worked hard and risked

a great deal only to get somewhere second.



You don't know these people by name,

of course, because they enter oblivion.



You know this word, ''oblivion ''?



It means to be totally forgotten

by everyone forever.



And it's where you would be now

if it weren't for the Bellagio heist.



how does this guy know who we are?



In a way, I'm responsible for you

coming to Amsterdam in the first place.



I hired Matsui, and Matsui hired you.



That's the guy who dimed us

to Benedict.



-All of them, including Ocean.




I find that hard to believe.

And you are?



You can call me the Night Fox.



The Night Fox. Okay, Mr. Night Fox.



-What will this information cost me?

-Don't worry. Nothing.



Nothing? Who do you think you're

deallng with? Nothing costs nothing.



And this information is definiteIy

worth something.



Let's just say our interests

are temporarily aligned.



how so?



Well, the information is free,

but it comes with certain conditions.



-Such as?

-Restraint on your part.



Restraint? That's asking a Iot.

What else?



Two weeks to buy themselves

out of trouble.



Two weeks?



I can live with that, even if they can't.



Just out of curiosity,

what will you make them pay?



For Ietting them live?

Everything they stoIe, pIus interest.



A Iot of interest.



But didn't your insurance

cover what was stolen?



Of course.



So you're asking them to double

your money?



Well, do you really think that's fair?



Fair? I certainIy hope not.

So, what about the information?



Okay. It's on your desk.



he was here.

Around  :   this morning. I can tell.




-The Night Fox.



Go down to the Dampkring

and pick up a guy called Matsui.



Real name, Ian Nicolas McNally.



The Night Fox was here at the same time

as the Americans? Why?



That's what we're gonna find out.



What is he doing?



Get him out of there.






hello, Frank.



I can't understand what we did

to this guy.



-Why does he have it out for us like this?

-how did he get that code?



Doesn't matter. he broke ruIe

number one. he's on the llst.



Great time for a turf war.



I spoke with Frank's associate in Dublln.

She's trying to get us a name on this guy.



Our train Ieaves tomorrow at   :   okay?



-Where is Frank?

-I don't know.



It's gonna get out. Then we'll be dead,

and no one will wanna work with us.






Turndown service for Mr. Ryan.






Nice room.



You have it all to yourseIf?



You here to take me in?



Why would I do that?

It's not as if you stoIe something.



It's nice to see you again, Robert.



You too.



Of course, you've been seeing

pIenty of me, haven't you?



I like this one.



I call it ''thief à Ia mode.''



Schumann SpeciaI, huh?



I guess that's what I get

for opening my mouth.



So, what about the Night Fox?



Did he Ieave you a message?



What about the figurine?

You still have it?



I suppose it's a compliment in a way.



I guess he's threatened by you,

though I can't imagine why.



You have no idea what you're up against.



The French police

think he's better than LeMarc.



Well, he is French.



Let me give you some advice.



Find out how you offended him.

Apologize. Beg for mercy.



Got to go.



Any message for Frank?

he's been hanging around the station.



On what charge?



Well, we found a print of a size   

hi-Tec Magnum boot at the crime scene.






Bought with a fraudulent credit card.



From that point on, well, there's only one,

maybe two great nail salons in Amsterdam.



-And you lied to us.

-Yeah, and to me.



Well, Frank knew.



-Frank knew you were in touch?

-I wasn't in touch.



I was more like keeping tabs.



-She's a cop!

-Detective, actually.



-Where'd she learn all that Schumann crap?




-What, he was a cop?




-Oh, God. Was he good?

-Oh, yeah.



Great. Pissed-off ex-girIfriend

whose thief father...



...taught her every trick in the book.



Well, she just made Danny and Yen.



In the next    hours, your pictures

will be in every pollce station.



-Nobody looks at them.

-Nobody but cops.




-You'd think she'd have sympathy for us...



-...if her old man was a thief.

-Is that sympathy or empathy?



No, her old man got popped a day

before her  th birthday. dled in jall.



So I wouldn't count on much sympathy.

Or empathy.



She's gonna have the hotel

under survellIance.



Great. We'll just eat room service, watch

movies and wait for Benedict to kllI us.



-Who's on the $     bllI?




-John Travolta.

-he said every probIem...



...is an opportunity in disguise.



he couldn't say that

with a .   in his mouth.



No, you're missing the sliver lining here.



Now, she gave us a name, didn't she?

The Night Fox.



One phone call, we're gonna find out

everything there is to know about this guy.



The name is M. Diaz.




It's a bIack duffeI bag.



The team's in Rotterdam.

The bag's in BrusseIs.



he's the modern man:

disconnected, frightened...



...paranoid, but with good reason.



It's too sad to be funny.




-I think I can get    minutes out of it.




I got it. The team's in BarceIona.

The bag's in Madrid.



This is a moral issue

we're dealing with here.



And we don't have a grease man anymore,

because he's in a bag somewhere.



We got a bag man.



Such an ape. An animal with no feelings.



-I have feelings.

-No, you don't.



I feel bad for the guy. he's in a piece

of Iuggage, but he's got water.



-What did you want them to do?

-Get off the bus.



And pick up the bag

with our friend in it.



how many pro soccer teams

are fielding   -year-old men?



Rusty's not    years old.



Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not   .



You think I'm    years old?

Let me ask you something.



No, wait, let me ask you something.



how old do you think I am?






You think I'm    years old?






-Maybe he should've asked me.

-Nobody should ever ask you anything.



That guy doesn't have a hard enough

llfe right now? You gotta--



You're gonna defend him?

They put Yen in a handbag.



-Can I ask you something? Ever notice--?

-If you're gonna ask a question...



...give me time to respond,

unIess it's rhetorical...



...in which case the answer

is obvious: yes.



-Okay, can I ask--?




-You ever notice that Tess looks exactly--?

-Don't ever ask that. Seriously.



-Not to anyone. Especially not to her.

-Wait. Why not?






It's not in my nature to be mysterious...



...but I can't talk about it,

and I can't talk about why.



-Can I ask you--? Do I look    to you?





-Well, I mean, onIy from the neck up.






What's the matter?






You wanna go out? It's nice.






You wanna watch something?

The game's on.






-You hungry? I'll heat something up.




SauI, ever since you got back,

you've been acting strange.



What did Danny want?






Nothing? how could he want nothing?



All right, the Night Fox has a name.

François Toulour.



Baron François Toulour.



Father was a French industrialist,

mother was Italian nobility.



He never met her,

but he inherited her title.



The bad news is he's rich, he's bored

and he's talented.



The really bad news is he was trained

by LeMarc.



-This is not good.

-With the LeMarc? Gaspar LeMarc?



That's the one.



-Well, we're doomed.

-We're not doomed.



-He's one guy, and he's French.




Before we get too impressed

by his background...



-...let's hear what he's done.

-He started in the '  s.



Bank of Geneva, the Danish Treasury,

the Bank of Italy, AMC Amro...



...the Brussels Diamond Exchange,

Antwerp Diamond Exchange.



-Wait, wait. All those in the     s?

-I'm only up to '  .




-In '   he went through an art phase.



He hit the Tate in London, the Louvre

in Paris, twice, and the Prado.



Wait. No, no, hang on. The Prado Museum

in '  ? That was Moretti.



-Everybody knows that--

-He is Moretti. It's one of his aliases.



Okay, I'll skip to my favorite.



In      he stole the king of Morocco's

   -foot yacht. Vanished into thin air.



Crew surfaced days later in a life raft.

Couldn't remember a thing.



-How do you hide a    -foot yacht?

-If the king knows, he's not telling.



He got it back a month later. He now plays

tennis with Toulour every weekend.



-We're in some serious trouble here.

-Copy that.



-So, what do we do?

-We respond.



-Respond? How?

-In kind.



Mr. Ocean.



You broke ruIe number one,

and that has consequences.



Oh, you must be talking about

the paintings.



Don't worry. You'll be dead in five days,

and I'll get my paintings back.



-UnIess you have an accident first.

-I don't think so, DanieI.



Perhaps I should explain to you

why I'm tormenting you.



I'd like that.



Last month I was in Portugal

to see my mentor.







A very loud and annoying American

businessman was there the same day.



He worked for a big insurance company.



He's the one who suggested Benedict

to you as a potential mark.



-You know the man?

-What about him?



He said it was the most

beautifuljob he'd ever seen.



He went on and on about this job,

and then he said...



...it showed you were the greatest

thief in the world.



But the worst part is that LeMarc

never corrected him.



I told LeMarc that you can't be

better than me.



And he answered that it was impossibIe

to know for sure.



So I thought about that for, like,

three weeks in a row, day and night.



And then suddenly, I realized that

he was actually right.



It is impossibIe to compare one theft

to the other.



So I guess the only way to know

who's the best of us for sure...



...is to go after the same object.

Do the same job.



Don't you think that would be fun?



You're being awfully cavalier with a lot of

people's lives so you can play out a game.



You're gonna regret it.



Come on, Mr. Ocean.



how are you gonna possibly get

$   million by next Wednesday?



Especially if every safe you crack

between now and then is already empty?



Whereas if you accept my challenge

and win...



...I promise I'll pay your debt

to Benedict...



...and LeMarc will hold my money

in escrow as a guarantee.



What are we steallng?



The famous Fabergé Coronation Egg.



-Was that your idea or LeMarc's?

-I think he would agree...



...that it's the most appropriate thing

for us to compete over.



Where is it located?



The egg left Paris this morning

on its way to Rome.



It travels with heavy security and usually

with one or more replicas.



Sometimes they even show the replicas

without anybody knowing.



When the egg goes on display

Monday morning...



...you'll have    hours to steal it

before your deadline's up.



When the deadline passes

and you don't have the egg...



...LeMarc will know who's the best.



-Rusty's phone.

-Who is this?



Nicole. Who's this?



NageI. Where's Rusty?



He said if you called,

to say he was at Gunther's.



Gunther's? What's that about?

Did he say something?



Do you have a message?



Yes, I do. Tell him this thing is gonna

cost him doubIe what I told him.



And tell him I had to go three times

as thin on the Iayers.



And tell him if he wants it tomorrow,

it should cost him more than doubIe.



And tell him this thing is beautifuI.



Would fool the bloody Romanovs




And tell him I'm being a nice guy.

And tell him he dresses like a gigoIo.



Is that it?



Yeah. No. Tell him having

a sexy female assistant...



...is such a terrible cliché.



Can I get a coffee or something?



Thanks. Just a cappuccino or espresso.






You call me on Saturday

and ask me to come into my office...



...and sign a     ...



...and you can't even tell me

what they are after?



-I can come to your house.

-I'm leaving for Naples in two hours.



-We'll talk about this on Wednesday.

-It'll be gone by Wednesday.



-What? What? What will be gone?

-Something worth signing a      for.



Ryan and his friends

did the Bellagio casino heist in      .



-I am telling you, this is serious--

-If that's true...



-...then we should call the American FBI--

-No, no, no.



-Maurizio, llsten to me.

-Agent Lahiri...



...a      is not a small thing.



Unless you can tell me what they are after,

there is no point in discussing it.






Because LeMarc stoIe it in      

when    others falled.



Because the Night Fox is trying to prove

he's better than Ryan and his friends.



This is ridicuIous.

You say the egg will be stoIen.



Then you say LeMarc already stoIe it

   years ago.



-Which one is it?







LeMarc's wife made him

put the egg back.



When I signed a      for you

on the BuIgari case...



...you requisitioned    of my men

for three months and made zero arrests.



I won't do it again.



First, we cannot go at night.



The laser grid in the Great Hall's

impossible to beat.



-Nothing's impossible.

-This is impossible.



It's in constant motion, programmed

to improvise randomly...



...meaning we can't

plan our way through.



All right.



So it's a daytime play.



We're still short three on the inside

since Isabel made you and Yen and Danny.



We could try a Smuggler's Paradise.



-It hasn't worked since the '  s.

-'   actually.



What's option two?



Baby Jane, Squeaky Wheel,

followed by a Number-Two Son.



It's complicated, but it's got a high

success rate. The only problem is--



We can't do it without a grease man

on the inside, without Yen.



We'll have to risk it.

We'll put him in disguise.



   :    I Ieave the café,

proceed west.    :    ?



-I enter the second-fIoor bathroom.

-   :   ?



Approach the Spanish Steps

from the south.



Basher and I enter by the main entrance.



-   :   ?

-I heIp Yen into the ventllation duct.



-   :   ?

-I move Reuben to the Egg Room.



-I pause in the Great hall whlle--

-I go to the Egg Room.



-   :   ?

-Yen enters the mainframe room.



he cuts power to grid    -A.

he radios me. I signaI Linus.



-I then go to the Egg Room.

-   :  ?



I drop my keys and move Reuben

to his mark.



-I blind camera one.

-I blind camera two.



-I blind camera three.

-Camera four.



-I make the switch.




-   :  ?

-I pull to the corner of the main entrance.



I meet Danny at the Steps.

We head north.    :  ?



Turk and I make the drop.



All right. Really good stuff, guys.



Really good work. All right,

we'll pick it up here in an hour.



It's a slam-dunk.




-   :   we all get arrested.



You bet.



-how was Toulour?

-he was predictable.



You hear from NageI?



he'll be here.



That's a lot to presume

from a guy like NageI.



Follow it up.



This is Isabel.



It's Johan. Ijust set a  :   meeting

for you with an Andre Ciment...



...who says he had four paintings stolen

from his house in Lake Como.



-And when was this?

-Sometime Friday.



He's missing two Monets,

a Turner and a Degas.



-Which Degas was it?

-Blue Dancers .



Supposedly, there's surveillance video,

but I haven't been able to confirm that yet.



It is all about error correction.



Three thousand separate,

transIucent, digitaI slivers...



...instead of the      

I thought it would be.



Thank God it doesn't have to move.



Re-creating the llghting was a pain.

It's a mixture of tungsten and reaI llght.



But I think the coIor rendition

is pretty damn accurate.



Batteries are in the base.

Two minutes maximum.



You're good.



-It's good, Roman. You're a genius.

-I think I am.



You'd have never got past that grid.



That's why you're paying me doubIe.



-What? No, no, no.

-You got my message.



-Who's that sexy phone voice? EarIy Bond.

-What message?



The message I left with

Sexy Phone Voice NicoIe.



On your moblle.



Got something going

with Gunther? Am I in?



-Okay, when did you Ieave the message?

-Two days ago.



She had your phone.



-She has your--?




-That means that she's--?




-Well, you better--




-That's great.

-I mean....



So--? So who's got my money?



Who has got my bloody money?






Sorry to hear about your mom.



She was an amazing....



Well, I thought so, at Ieast.



She hated you.

I should've picked up on that.



-She hated all thieves.

-No wonder you fought.



Excuse me?



-May I have my phone back?




-That's a nice pull, by the way.




Did you get that tingling sensation

down your spine when you did it?



Or is that none of my business?



You considered a career change?



have you?



I tried hotels.



I'm better at this.



Went by the café for some tiramisu.



-It wasn't the same.

-Who's the Night Fox?



-They did something to the eggs.

-Why accept his challenge?



Because he'll Iose.



And how can you beat him?



We can't.



You're not making any sense.






The Bulgari job you pulled with Frank

when we were together...



...I knew it was you.



Why didn't you say something?



Why didn't you...






I didn't want it to end.



You assumed it would.



Was I wrong?



You shouldn't be here.



I have a meeting.



Someone stole a whole bunch

of paintings in Lake Como.



Interesting. Any leads?



The next time I see you...



...I'm arresting you.



And Ocean and anybody else I recognize.



Fair enough.







Yes, of course I do.



My Blue Dancers, my Degas.



They took it, unfortunateIy,

and I really would like--



Do you have any enemies?



Anybody out there who would

feel wronged by you?



No. I can't see anyone.



But why? You think--

You think maybe the thief...



...is trying to harm me personally now?



Well, I assumed he was after

the paintings themseIves.



I think it's enough.









I have something you might be

interested in.



It's a DVD with all the hidden

surveillance cameras I have to my pIace.



It's plenty. I haven't checked it out yet.



Maybe the thieves have been

careIess enough to be photographed.



I doubt it, this level of thief,

but I'll take a look.



Yeah. You never know.



Okay. Well, merci.



Thank you, Mademoiselle Lahiri,

for everything.



Thank you. Goodbye. Goodbye.



Mademoiselle Lahiri.



Did you get the faxed copy

of the     ? Good.



here's what I need:

A dozen-- Twelve uniformed officers.



Metal detectors, extra cameras.



So I'll e-mail you the photographs.

Do you happen to have a pen?



I'll just give you the names. Okay.



Livingston Dell, male, Caucasian,

 ' '',      pounds.



Virgll Malloy, male, Caucasian,

 '    '',      pounds.



Robert Ryan, male, Caucasian....




-Buon giorno, Mr. elsenhower.



This is your   a.m. wake-up call.




-Yes, I'm afraid.



Have a nice day, sir.




-What are you doing?



-What--? Sleeping. Why are you dressed?

-It's  :   day of. We gotta go. Let's go.



It's    :  .



The night before.






Oh, he's mean.

he's just mean-spirited.



-how many espressos did you have?




Yeah, come on.



I don't know if she's just confused...



...or she's really turned the corner

and hates me now.



You think I handled this wrong?



I was too forceful.

I was too American.



She's different.



Maybe you're right,

maybe she has moved on.



You know, I talked to a doctor

about getting that tattoo removed.



But given its Iocation,

he advised against it.



That guy doing Potsie is unbellevabIe.



I mean, what's this guy's problem?



he's stitched us up twice in two weeks,

all over his ego.



It's the first decent evening we've

had together in I don't know how long.



All right, all right,

Iet's just stay on point here.



Let's go over the list again.



Who died and made you Danny?



No one.



I'm sorry. My emotions

are all over the pIace.



I was forceful, trying

to show good leadership--



-For fuck's sake. Let's go.

-You're a good leader.






All right, well,

Iet's go over the llst again.



-Swinging Priest?

-Not enough peopIe.



-Crazy Larry?

-Not enough peopIe.



-Soft Shoulder?

-Not enough peopIe.



-Baker's Dozen?

-No woman and not enough people.



hell in a handbasket?



We can't train a cat that quickly.

And not enough peopIe.



-What about Tess?

-What about her?



Well, you know how she

kind of looks like--



-So what?

-Yeah, what's your point?



So we do a Lookie-loo.



-It's a Lookie-loo with a Bundle of Joy.

-A Lookie-Ioo with Tess...



...and a BundIe of Joy?



You've gone right out of your tree,

my son. he's mad.



It's crazy. It's Itallan-teIevision crazy,

and we're still one short.



No, think about it. She can get near the egg

during dayllght with haIf the system down.



I mean, that's a trifecta.



he might be right. Make the calls.



Linus CaIdwell, you are not

following the procedures...



...Danny talked about

if Terry Benedict shows up.



Something is wrong. What is wrong?



Danny's fine. He's with Rusty.



During this part of the plan,

they can't communicate with us.



Promise he isn't hurt.



I promise he isn't hurt.



You're gonna miss the deadllne.



Danny would be thrilled if you met him

in Rome when thejob's finished.



He misses you like crazy.



Plus, you studled art,

so I know how much you love Rome.



There's no downside here.



Wow, they're bringing you

aIong fast, aren't they?



Yes. Danny would be more thrilled...



...if you were on the   p.m. out of JFK,

which means you have to leave right now.



I thought I'd requested a midsize.



-Danny here?

-he wanted to be.



Did you have a nice flight? We weren't

sure if you were a window or aisle person.



-how long's Danny been in jall?

-Just a couple of days, really.



Which, you know, on the bright side,

he's completely safe from Benedict.



he told me everything was fine.

he lied right to me.



What I think he meant by ''fine''

is we're running low on time and money...



...and we're deeper in debt

than when we started.



I assume that you have a plan

to get him out.



-Actually, she sounds like her.

-No, she needs a Southern accent.



-Can you do a Southern--?

-What the hell is going on with you guys?



Not quite. The accent is crucial.

It's the first thing people notice.



-This ridiculous car, what is it doing?

-Okay, I'm sorry.



All right, I'm just gonna level with you.

Due to certain personneI losses...



...that we have sustained...



...we're-- Various readjustments

had to be made.



You're gonna have to play a small role

in this thing.



Okay? So can you put these on?



I'd like you to put this hat on.



You're gonna put on that,

and you're gonna stuff it with that.



And we'll turn around,

just give you a little moment.



Small role.



Who am I supposed to be?






Oh, really?



Well, absoluteIy.



I can have-- We can make

the suite available.



No, no, no troubIe at all.



I mean, we would love-- We are honored

that she would think of us again.






Okay. Thank you.






how is this going to get Danny out?



-We needed someone famous.

-Why didn't you get someone famous?



Just think Four Weddings and a Funeral.



She wasn't in

Four Weddings and a Funeral.



''I.'' ''I wasn't in

Four Weddings and a Funeral.''



Just protect your fake baby.



I'm hyperventilating.



-WeIcome back, Signora Roberts.

-Thank you. She's very tired.



-Take it. Take it.




Oh, let's hide. Let's hide.






My name is Teresa.



I thought I saw a friend of mine,

someone that I know.



No, absolutely not. You can't turn off

the pressure sensors. No.



Well, she can't touch it.



She's a movie star.

She's not the pope, for chrissake.



You're from Smyrna, Georgia.

You were born in     .



-You like croquet and knitting.

-Your middle name is Fiona.



You've got    dogs, seven horses.



-Your favorite color is peach.

-She doesn't have more horses than dogs.



-I can't do this. I can't.

-Tess, we're out of time.



-''Julia,'' pIease.




No, we understand you're feeling

insecure. That is totally natural.



-You're playing an actress. They're insecure.

-No, I'm not insecure. I'm freaking out.



-Yes. That's right.




You're playing a role.



No, you're playing a role.

I'm apparently playing a real person.



-Yeah, so?

-It's just wrong.



You mean, like, morally?



No. Well, yes.



Probably-- It's not the point.

The point is you want me to speak...



...for someone who's out there somewhere.

It's too personaI.



More personal than your husband

doing   -to-life?



he won't do   -to-life. Benedict will

have him killed immediately.




-I'm sorry, that was stupid.



We're gonna be in and out in     minutes.

We have to. That's our time frame.



You don't even have to talk. Give them

a big smlle, wave at the cameras.



-That's all she ever does.

-But if you do say something...



...don't forget your accent.

Drop your G's, and longer voweIs.



Room service.



It's gonna be fine.

You've gotta remember something.



You are an image to these peopIe.

You're like an object.



Nobody actually knows you.

The last thing this is gonna be is personaI.



-Aren't you overdue?

-Why are you in Rome?



-I'm here on vacation.

-I love you.



You are not supposed to fly

eight months pregnant.



-I know.

-Is Danny here?



-Of course.




-No, no, I mean, he has--

-he's working?



-Yes. Yes and no. he's working.

-In Rome?



-Bruce. Glen Snackwell, publlcity.

-hey, Glen.



-I'm a big fan.




Great. You fired Marcy?



You fired Marcy. Two weeks ago,

you told me I should go with Marcy.



-I'm sorry.

-Tell him what happened with Marcy, Glen.



-There's a story?

-Always a story with Marcy.



-Marcy-- Marcy....

-You look fantastic.



-Such a surprise.

-You should sit down.



I'm with the studio.

Marcy's still very much in the picture.



I just wanted to get you for a second.



We're looking to come off

this baby thing strong.



You know, that little statue on the mantle

starts smirking at you after a while.



You know what I'm saying?



-Not really, Glen, no.

-Sorry. Yeah.



hey, Jules, that reminds me.



I've been meaning to call you

since the girls and I were in Taos.



-It's so good to see you.

-Come here. These are a mess.



Anyway, Tallulah left her

SpongeBob blanket in the red casita.




-So, what I wanna do-- here.



-Thank you.

-You're welcome.



-Thanks, Bruce.

-Is call Marcus...



...and have him get ahold of Louise

so we can make arrangements to get it.



he's home now, right?




-I need to talk to Marcus.



-That's so funny. What a coincidence.

-Go ahead. talk to him.



Over by the window, with the reception.




-hello, Marcus?



No, it's Julia. Who's this?



It's Julla. I'm with Bruce Willis.



You're with Bruce right now?



Can I speak with him?

Oh, yes, Tallulah's SpongeBob.



-I'm sorry, can I talk to him for a sec?

-Did it drop out?



-Yes, it fell out.

-That's been happening all week.



-Put that phone away right now.




hang it up and put it away.



Do you have any idea how vuInerabIe...



...a fetus' brain is to the eIectromagnetic

fieId created by your cell phone?



You might as well point a gun

at her stomach.



-I'm Bruce Willis.

-Simon Leopold.



-I am Julla's physician.

-he's a doctor.



What happened to Dr. Webber?



-You know, Doc...? he was sick.

-Dr. Webber is on vacation.



-Well, he's sick.

-he's sick on vacation.



-Sick on vacation.

-Don't you hate that? Sick on vacation.



Sorry to have jumped on you, Mr. Willis.

You do very good actings.



Thank you.







It doesn't matter. If we are to get there

at  :   and do that....



-I say   -  .

-Closer than that.



- -   they don't make it to the museum.

- -   they don't make it to the Egg Room.






-She's still my wife.

-She's a novice. You said so.



-Led by an apprentice.

-Being tracked by a pro.



You want her to win.



-Which her?

-You know which her.



-The one that started all this.




-Good. For a minute--

-Why would I say that? It's not her fauIt.



-It wasn't.

-Okay, then.







-I'm confused.

-Yeah, who are you talking about?







-I loved it, but I figured it out.

-Not a Iot of peopIe did.



-That's amazing.

-The second she doesn't...



...talk to you in the restaurant, I knew--



You figured that out.



-Yeah, I mean, the movie still works for me.




Can we just--? Does she really

need to be rushing this quickIy?



-She's practically jogging.

-In Thalland...



...mothers routineIy give birth in

rice paddies and then go right back to work.



-Amazing women over there.

-Rice paddy?



She will not have it in a rice paddy.

She'll be at her own paddy.



And she will be very comfortable

because she will be strong...



...from this walk and this exercise.



Was she worth it?



Was Tess?



The moment that she doesn't talk to you

in the restaurant, I knew.



-Your friends didn't tell you?




-That's when you figured it out, huh?




-But the movie was still enjoyabIe for me.

-Okay. Thanks.



If everybody's so freaking smart, how come

the movie did $    million worIdwide...






Julla. Doctor.



Doctor, you might wanna

call the rice paddy now.



SeaI off the museum. Nobody in or out.



-Bring-- Bring it, bring it.

-QuickIy, quickIy.



-Sit her down. Sit her down.

-Everybody just reIax.



-Can you hear me? talk to me.

-She is fine. She is fine.



She's good? Okay, that's it.

We're done here. No more pictures.



-Thank you, Bruce Willis.

-Just don't worry.



-Thank you, museum. We are code four.

-WaIk sIowIy, like you're doing.



We'll get you into the car

as fast as we can.



Okay, we're not stopping. Don't stop.




-We're on our way out.



IsabeI Lahiri, I'm with the museum.

It is so great to meet you.



-We're very Iate.

-I'm sorry, this won't take Iong.



I don't wanna be an annoying fan,

but my boyfriend is such a huge fan.



I can't Iet you Ieave unIess you sign

something for him. Do you mind?



-That's very unorthodox.

-Sorry, it won't take Iong.



-What's his name?

-his name's Robert.



Aren't you a lefty?

I thought you were a lefty.



She is a lefty.



Often pregnant women

become ambidextrous.



You are a big fan.



She doesn't necessarlly

have to sign lefty.



Oh, thanks so much. This is great.



Okay. We're on the move.



Thank you. You take care, now.



And one more thing.

I just got off the phone...



...with someone called Marcy who put you

on a pIane from Taos, New Mexico to L.A...



...where you have a   :   meeting

about a fllm, Clowns Can't Sleep.



Anyway, she just wanted me to Iet you

know everyone's running a llttIe Iate...



...and was wondering if you could

make it at   :   instead.



I knew it.



Shame on you.



I don't think we've met. Bruce.



IsabeI Lahiri. Nice to meet you.



Do you really have a boyfriend?



Or were you just--? Was that just

part of the whole thing with them?



So how'd it go?



You Lahiri?



I'm Section Chief Molly Starr.



I spoke to a very nice man at EuropoI

this morning, Commissioner Greisman.



he wants you on the next fllght

to Amsterdam.



There seems to be some irreguIarity

with your paperwork.



That one.



Let's start with that one.



Imagine yourseIf in a room...



...that's too short for you to stand up in

and not wide enough for you to lle down in.



A room with no llght, no heat...



...and stone walls scratched by the teeth

and nalls of desperate men...



...men driven crazy by isoIation.



You will have rats for company...



...and a small window that looks out

on the worId that has passed you by.



Your parents will grow old and die,

just like your dreams.



Your friends will forget your name,

tell your stories as their own...



...because what good is a story when

the person who owns it has vanished?



-What do you want?

-Testify against the others...



...in the Benedict case.



The Itallan charges will be dropped.



You and the others will be extradited

to the U.S. this afternoon.



PIead, and you waIk with paroIe.



I can't.



Think about it, Linus.



For a moment there,

I was already forgetting your name.






Just hang on a sec.






Right. Thanks.



You okay?



-Well, I bIew the meet with Matsui.




Let me guess. he pulled

a Lost in TransIation on you.



That's his idea of fun for first-timers.



-I mean-- how do I not see these things?

-Don't get down on yourseIf.




-We talked about this.



I hope Danny and Rusty appreciate the job

you did in a tight jam. I am proud of you.




-We both are.



-You--? You told Dad?

-I had to, sweetheart.



-You told Dad?

-We were on vacation.



I'm sorry.



Great. Thanks. You're gonna be

dining out on this one for months.



''hey, remember the time your mom

had to come to Rome....''



I'm sorry.



Every time with him. It's like....



It's like a....

It's like a....



That was for keeping me in the dark.

And that-- That...



...is for making me a master thief.



-And that...




...is for ruining our

second third anniversary.



Okay. Okay? Come here.



I'm sorry I kept you in the dark.



I'm sorry that I made you a thief.




-Master thief.



And I'm very sorry that I ruined

our second third anniversary.







You forgive me?



-A llttIe.

-All right.



What was Bruce Willis like? Was he--?



Follow it. That's Ryan's car.

Follow that one.



hey, wait, wait!



What the hell is going on?



Your father's alive, Izzy.



Your mom lled to you...



-...to keep you from him. he's alive.

-What are you talking about?



When they divorced, she told him if he

contacted you, she'd go to the cops...



...with everything to put him in jall.



how do you know that?



And why should I believe you?

I don't believe you, okay?



You know where he is?



I know somebody who does.



There's nothing back there

but a forged      .



-No. Really? No.




That'd be horribIe.



It's hard, you know, for dinners.



Well, you must have very good contacts.



I hear it usually takes days

to buy your way out.



-Tess, this is François TouIour.

-Madame Ocean, at Iast.




-he's French.



Shouldn't you be somewhere else

by now, like...



...Outer Mongolla, maybe?



Well, before we get to that,

we just wanted to ask you one question.



-What is that?

-how'd you do it?



Oh, so that's why you came.

You wanna know.



Well, I guess that's normaI.



But I got another deal for you.



You both recognize that I'm the best,

and I'll tell you my secret.







Make it if you get him to tell us...



-...and tell him that he is the best.

-Oh, okay.



-I won't tell him because you're the best.

-All right. Thank you.



All right.



We'll tell you you're the best

after you tell us how you did it.



how can I refuse

a dying man's Iast request?



The egg arrived in Rome at  :   p.m.

the Saturday before it went on display.



-It was at the museum by   p.m.

-Wait a minute, hold on.



You stole it that evening?

With the museum locked down?



How'd you get in the building?

How'd you get past the sensors?



Why didn't my recon team see you?



-Don't touch my thing.

-I didn't touch your thing. Like it works.



You got greasy hands, you put them

on the Iens. Now I can't see.



-You can't see anything.

-I see you. You look like a retard.



You look like a retard.



I'll pay you a million dollars if you don't

speak for a month. One month.



-I wanna eat your whole head.

-Go ahead. A million dollars. No joke.



Right. With no equipment, no rope.



Of course. Come on, don't tell me

you don't know how to do that.



how did you get by the Iaser fieId

in the Great hall?



The Iaser fieIds. Well....



Okay. TouIour, you're the best.



Well, thank you, Danny.



Good. Now, if you can just

get us our money...



...we'll be going.



The money?



What money?



The money that you agreed

to pay Benedict if we won.



-We're under a deadllne.

-No, no, no, you don't understand.



You didn't win.



You Iost. And not onIy did you Iose...



...your entire crew got pinched.

I gotta tell you something.



You don't look anything like her.

Eventually, the nose, but the ears--



I mean, the way you waIk

and you dress....



That means that you spoke to LeMarc.



You spoke to LeMarc?



Since I'm dead, I think my invoIvement

in this should stay among the three of us.



-Of course.




It's ironic that the soIution to all of

our probIems will be provided by TouIour.



I'm sure I provoked him by agreeing with my

American friend that you might be better.



I apoIogize sincereIy for the troubIe

I've caused you.



-There's no need.

-Especially now.



Remember, from the time you see TouIour

at his vllIa and the challenge begins...



...you must assume he will have you

under survellIance everywhere you go.



You'll have to put on

a very eIaborate show.



The egg, the reaI egg...



...will be carried in a backpack

on a train Ieaving Gare du Nord...



-...at  :   a.m.

-Thank you.



You saved our lives, Gaspar.



Yeah. And I'm still getting

the better of you.



And I stoIe a repllca?



Your paintings are in a high-security

warehouse in Mllan.



It's     Via Andreotti, unit    .



-Security code is  - -  -  - --

- - - . Thank you.



Listen, all games aside, that was--

That was very good.



That was good. how'd you do that?



Well, I told you one story tonight.

I think that'll be enough. So now...



...if you, both of you, could pIease....




-Whose house is this?

-It beIongs to a thief I know in Paris.



he knows my father?



Probably better than anyone.



Who is he?



-he heIped with the whole Night Fox thing.

-What's his name?



his reaI name? I don't know, actually.



I've onIy known him as LeMarc.






Oh, my God.



Where the hell have you been?






For what?



For this.



Oh, my God.



So we done?



Issue closed?



-Is it actually good?

-It's good. Trust me.



I don't trust you, and I don't trust Ocean.

If it's good, we're done.



These grudges, they're awfuI.

Nobody wins.



Danny's had enough of this meshugaas.



And the competition,

it's worse than our business.



AIways some new young punk

trying to prove himseIf.



Guys like Ocean, they keep coming back.

They don't like to Iose.



-Too much ego, too much pride.

-Maybe for some guys, but not Danny.



Trust me on that.

Danny don't feel like he Iost in all this.



It's hard to believe,

but that's how he feels.



Well, if he tries anything-- If anybody

tries anything, I'll be waiting.



Terry, I can't predict the future.



I pay professionaIs to do that,

and even they get it wrong sometimes.



I can't say that nobody'll ever

try to rob from you again.



But I can say this: If, God forbid,

anything does happen to you...



...we will not be invoIved.



You better not be, Reuben.

You better not be.






Good to see you guys.



You don't remember? You put me

through hell, and you don't remember?







-You're more beautifuI than ever.








-Who's winning?

-I'm llttIe.



-And you're big.

-You're big?



Oh, my God.




-Oh, my God.



You're all under arrest.



You're thieves. You're crooks.



IsabeI, Livingston Dell.



Thank you.



IsabeI, Tess.



The adult tabIe. That's the kids' tabIe.



-Let me cIear that for you.

-I'm in.



Can I get another beer?



-I feel I know you.

-Wait, wait. We didn't-- We didn't bet.



You want five?




-So nasty.






Is that a joke?






-Jesus Christ.

-She's drunk!

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