On The Line Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the On The Line script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Lance Bass and Joey Fatone movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of On The Line. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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On The Line Script



[Wind blowing]



[Siren in distance]



[People chattering]



[Music playing]



KEVIN SINGING: Aw, one, two

princes kneel before you...




That's what I said now




Princes, princes who adore you



-Just go ahead now

-One has--




And that's some bread now



This one said

he wants to buy you rockets



Ain't in his head



Marry him or marry me



KEVIN: It all started

because of a girl at a party.



KEVIN SINGING: I ain't got

no future or family tree



KEVIN: Spring,     .

That was our band--Granite.



We were all about the rock.

I mean, we were hardcore.



And ifyou want

to tell me maybe



Just go ahead now



And ifyou want

to buy me flowers



Just go ahead now



And ifyou like to talk

for hours



Just go ahead now



Go ahead now



-CROWD: Granite! Granite!




CROWD: Granite! Granite!




And this was the moment.



My big chance to impress

the girl ofmy dreams.



-Kev, I got a great idea.




Why don't we just sing

the ballad that I wrote...



dedicate it to her...



and then when it's over,

just ask her out.



What are you, stupid?

She's right there.



All right,

let's do the ballad.



I can do this.



GIRL: Granite!




Yeah, Kevin, you can do it.



-Come on, Kevin.

-Don't be such a wuss.



-Come on, just do it.




KEVIN: I didn't do it.

Ijust froze.



Come on, Kevin,

don't be a tulip!




My heart started pounding.



-My pits started sweating.

-CROWD: Aw...



I felt naked up there.










What is it?






I can't believe it, man.



That story gets funnier

every time I hear it.




Thanks for the support.



Man, come on.

You know what your problem is?



I think it's

a lack of self-confidence.



I mean, I know you go out

on dates and everything...



but I think when you find

the girl of your dreams...



you can't seal the deal,

you know?



Pick the fruit, spit the wad.



-You know what I'm saying?

-No, I don't.



BOY: I think what your friend

is trying to say...



is that you're suffering

from a classic psychosomatic...



communicative anxiety disorder.



Basically, you meet

the right girl, you choke.



That's what I was saying.



Dude, you got to relax.

Watch me work.



French fry?



[Bell rings]




How can I direct your call?



Hold, please.




Have it under control?



Good morning, Margie.




How can I direct your call?



-Hold, please.




-Hey, baby

-Hey, baby



-Yeah, baby

-Yeah, baby



-Hey, baby

-Hey, baby



-Yeah, baby

-Yeah, baby






[Women chattering and laughing]



Hey, Nathan, how's it going?



I got to spend another

one of my remaining days...



in this purgatory.



I got cataracts

the size of cantaloupes...



and I haven't had

a decent bowel movement...




the Reagan administration.






[Baseball game on TV]



So, are you ever going to

tell me about that baseball?






[Mechanical whir]



[Machine beeping]



Come on, Lucille.



Don't die on me now.



Daddy knows you're tired...



but daddy also knows

you got another few in you.



Yes, you do.



Do you really think that works?




but when it doesn't...



you give her

a little love tap.






[Machine whirs]






Good morning, Jackie.



JACKIE: Good morning.



Uh, Gibbons?



I need you in here, please.



HIGGINS: You've done

excellent work here...



and now let me

ask you a question.



What does Reebok stand for?



Um, I believe the Reebok

is a type ofAfrican gazelle.



[Loud whirring]



No. Reebok stands

for credibility and prestige.



We are going global.






I'll pass.



Reebok wants us to do...



their female 'tweens

footwear campaign.




-'Tweens, Gibbons--



for females between their

adolescence and teen years.



Get with it, Gibbons.



Ohh. Jackie,

could you come in here, please?



Mr. Higgins, this is such

a great opportunity for me.



I don't know what to say.



Well, then don't say anything.

I might change my mind.



You wanted to see me?



Yes. How's the Reebok campaign

coming along?



Excellent, sir.



I haven't completed the concept

yet, but I'm close.



Well, you just got

a little bit closer.



Gibbons here

is joining the creative team.






KEVIN: OK, Reebok.



All right.

We have two baby chickens...



and they're both wearing




One is going, "Ree."

The other is going, "Bok."



Reebok, Reebok.



That's moronic, moronic.







-I got it.

-Imagine my excitement.



Wait. OK. Picture this.



You have girls at a party,

girls on the soccer field...



girls at a concert...



all wearing Reebok.



And the tag line?



For girls who choose to move.



MAN SINGING: Yeah, baby



What do you think?



I think the wheatgrass...



has finally gone

to Higgins's head...



for putting you on the team.



You liked it that much?



Look, I've worked

at this office for five years.



I've got seniority on you.

This should be my account.



You don't like me very much,

do you?



Brilliant deduction, Scooby.



Now let's get back to work and

come up with some good ideas.




Hey, didn't go for that



It's a natural fact



Now I wanna come back



Won't you show me

where it's at



KEVIN SINGING: Where it's at



I'm so tired ofbeing alone



I'm so tired of on my own



Won't you help me, girl



Just as soon as you can




Yeah, I guess you know



That I love you so







You don't want me no more



[Turns off music]



ABBEY: I Can't Next to You.



KEVIN: Excuse me?



I'm So Tired ofBeing Alone

is a great AI Green song...



but I Can't Get Next to You...



seems a little more appropriate

right now.



And why's that?




I can't get next to you.






ABBEY: Ahem. Thanks.






I enjoyed your performance.






AI Green

helps me clear my head.



It's a mental thing.






I hear he's playing at

the Opera House in two weeks.



Maybe he's looking

for an opening act.



You like the Reverend?



[Laughs] My mom was listening

to Love and Happiness...



when she was in labor with me.



I think he's...

definitely in my soul. Ha ha.






what do you do besides approach

strange men on the "L"?



I go to school--grad school.



-What do you study?







What do you do...



besides serenade

strange people on the "L"?



Oh, wait. Wait, wait.

Let me guess.



You are an ad man.



Now, how did you do that?



It's stitched on your bag.






Have you done anything

I might've seen?



I don't know. Uh...



I had a hand in the Pop Secret

popcorn campaign.




Butter makes it better, baby



That's it. That's me.

I actually wrote that.



So now when I go to Wrigley

and root for the Cubbies...



I can look up at the big

Pop Secret billboard...



and think of you.



-You're a Cubs fan?

-Heck, yeah. Born and raised.



All right, all right.

Um, so, tell me.



Tell me your best and worst

Cub moment.



-Best--whenever they win.

-Of course.



Worst--game five

in the '   playoffs.



BOTH: The ground ball

went through Durham's legs.



That is the worst moment

of my life.




I was so depressed.



I didn't even go to school

the next day.



I cried.



OK, most guys

wouldn't admit that.



Yeah. I don't know why

I just told you that.



DRIVER: Next stop, Adams--

Adams and Wabash.



That's my stop.






Mine, too.



After you.



Thank you.



So, tell me something that

you would only tell a stranger.






I like to make paper airplanes.

My dad's a pilot.






Oh, wait.

Do you have a piece of paper?



Yeah, sure.



What, am I going to get

a little demonstration?



Uh-huh. A little demonstration.

Thank you.



That's very impressive.



Thank you.

It's my own design.






All right,

this is my favorite spot.



-So, you've done this before?

-Many times.



-You ready?

-I guess.



Here we go.



Strong takeoff. Smooth flight.



Excellent paper airplane.



ABBEY: Thank you.

Oh! Ha ha ha!



KEVIN: But I think your

landing needs a little work.



Yeah, a little.






All right, don't think

you're getting off so easy.



-It's your turn.

-I don't know. Um...



Let's see. Uhh.



OK. You're totally

going to think I'm lame...



but I can name

all the presidents in order.



Washington, Adams,

Jefferson, Madison...



Monroe, Adams,

Jackson, Van Buren...



Harrison, Tyler, Polk,

Taylor, Fillmore...



Pierce, Buchanan,

Lincoln, Johnson, Grant...



Hayes, Garfield, Arthur,

Cleveland, Harrison...




McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft...



Wilson, Harding, Coolidge,

Hoover, Roosevelt, Truman...



Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson...



Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan,

Bush, Clinton, Bush.




-Ha ha!



OK, I think we're the only

two people in the world...



who can do that

at the same time.



I think you may be right.



[Laughs] OK, that's amazing.



Um, I got to catch

the connecting train.



Right. Um...



Well, listen,

it was a pleasure...



commuting with you.



Yeah, it really was.









Ha ha!



Come on



Love is like a bomb, baby,

come on, get it on



Livin' like a lover

with a radar phone



Hey! To the bone



Rise a little, dance a little,

flash a little light



Television lover, baby,

go all night



Take the bottle



Shake it up



Break the bubble



Break it up



Pour some sugar on me



Ooh, in the name oflove



Yo, man, come on,

tell me what happened.



You're sitting on the train.

She stands up.



Doors open. She's about to

get off, but she stops, right?



Did you say something to her?



I said it was a pleasure

commuting with her.



"It was a pleasure

commuting with you?"



I'm hot



Oh, that's great.

You couldn't say, like--



[Coughs] From my head



No number, no fingerprints,

no place of business?



OK, fine. I tanked.




-Man, you need some help.









[Crowd cheers, whistles]







Come on! Ow! Whoo! Man.



-What's up, guys?

-Hey, that was hot, man.



It was great.

It was fantastic.



It stunk. I can't freakin'

believe these guys.



Man, I mean,

the band wasjust awful.



Dude, it wasn't that bad.

Come on, I was in the band.




You should've never--



Don't even start this, man.



You should've never

quit the band.




this is the oldest argument.



It was a high school band.



No, it wasn't.

You know what it was.



Yeah. It was the best

high school band ever!



BOTH: Granite! Granite!

Granite! Granite!



Gimme some! Gimme some!

Gimme some! Gimme some!



The chicks were hot, man.

They were great.



Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Is that Brady freakin' Frances?



You didn't know he wrote

a column for the Post?




-Ooh, that's right. I forgot.



You just skip

right to the Family Circus.



Hey, Family Circus

is a good comic.



It's, like, one square,

and then you're done with it.



-Brady Frances--

-No, Brady Frances--



the guy that Kevin

swooped in on his girl...



back in high school prom time,

you remember?



Oh, my goodness. That was

a freakin' classic, man.



It was a calamity

is what it was.



That's not exactly

what happened.



-Aw, man.

-That was seven years ago.



I got another set, guys,

to do, so...



-Hey, play something good.




Hey, look, man, let's face it.

You're twenty-four years old.



It's not the first time

you ever choked with a chick.



You know what I'm saying?

You got a problem.



Yeah, but this is different.



I mean,

this girl was incredible.






You know, it's embarrassing

when everyone knows you...



as the guy that always chokes.



Hey, man, come on.

Not everybody knows that.



Two more, please.



[Playing guitar]



Kevin, this one's for you.



Kevin sits silently still



In the dead of the day







ifhe finds that girl



Thatjust walked away






Was it something he said

or something he did



Did the words

not come out right



He didn't try

to get the digits



He didn't try



But I guess

that's why they say



Kevin crapped out on his own



[Pats back]

Uh...now everybody knows.



But his friends

would've helped him all along



That poor bonehead



Aw, man, you can

track her down, you know.




-I don't know. Lojack.



You could ride the train

every day looking for her.



You could put up posters

all over town. I don't know.



Yeah. "Single white male

seeks commuter on train...



to share intimate secrets."



Yeah, bud, that's kind of cool,

but I was thinking more like...



"Dog who loses bone

seeks train tramp."






Brain damage.



[Door opens]



[Door closes]



-Hey, you. You're back.




So, how was your weekend

in Chicago, hmm?



Mmm. It was fine.



Wait, wait, wait.






You just spent the weekend with

your boyfriend of   years...



who you haven't seen

in over a month.



That deserves a "phenomenal"

or at least an "exceptional"...



but definitely not

just a "fine." What is up?



I found a great apartment

in Lakeview.



It's right by Wrigley...



and I can move in

right after graduation.



But I thought that...



that you and Paul

were going to move in together.






I don't know, Sam.



Everything is so different.









I met a guy on the train.



You met a guy on the train?



Yes. He was so cute,

and he was so nice.



And he totally listened to me.






We connected more

in five minutes...



than I have with Paul

over the past year.



Ha ha!



Abbey. Ha ha!



Well, you already know




so let me introduce the new

member of my creative team...



Kevin Gibbons.



And may I say that my team

has come up with a campaign...



that I feel you will all agree

has universal appeal.



So, without any further ado...



allow me to present...






And the tag line is...



"Reebok--step into the future."



[Crickets chirping]









-It's a little, uh, cold.




We were hoping

for something more lively...



with a little more depth.







Actually, we totally agree.



That's why l--we came up

with something so fabulous.



Did we?



Well, I don't like surprises,

you know.






Let me present to you...



what we believe will be

Reebok's new campaign.




Girls at a party...



girls at school,

girls at a concert...



girls at a soccer field--

all wearing Reeboks.



The tagline?



"For girls who choose to move."



-But that's--

-That's great.



When can you have it by?



Uh, Kevin here could

make copies of the mock-ups...



and messenger them

over to you...



by the end of the business

day, couldn't you, Kevin?







Wonderful, wonderful.



Phenomenal work, Jackie.



I didn't say anything.



I didn't say anything.



I know why.



I know why. It's because

I'm afraid to take a chance.



Because I'm afraid

to take a chance.






[Copy machine whirring]



I'm sitting on the sidelines

all my life.



Why am I so scared?



Always afraid to take a chance.



MAN SINGING: I'm layin' it

on the line to show you



I'll never let you go



On the line for your love



There's nothing I want more



Another dead-end street



Another love gone wrong



Another shattered dream



Always the same old song



I started thinkin'

that you'd never come along



I got all this love inside



That will show no words




I wish you knew what I've

been through to get to you



I'm layin' it on the line

this time



Just to be with you



No more, yeah, yeah



On the line to show you



Never gonna let you,

never gonna let you go



On the line for your love



There's nothing I want more



When you smile



I feel my heart open, yeah



I know there's nothing

that I would not do



I'm layin' it on the line

this time



Just to be with you



WOMAN: OK, I'll check.



WOMAN: Chicago Daily Post.

Can I help you?



Sure. OK.



[Video game beeping]



WOMAN: Chicago Daily Post.

May I help you?



Brady Frances's desk.



[Video game music playing]



Brady, my office.



This is your next story.



It's a compelling

human interest piece.



But, sir,

I want to do hard news.



Uh-huh. And I want

a clear nasal passage.



We can't always get

what we want.




Uhh. You know...



I put you in personals because

most people are miserable...



and I think you can relate,




The kid's name

is Kevin Gibbons.



-Kevin Gibbons?

-We checked it out.



Huh. I can't. I know him.






Look, you don't understand.



I have a history with this guy.



[School bell rings]



Dude, I'm telling you...



you ask out a girl

like Kayla Sanders...



and you're setting yourself

up for rejection...



humiliation, alienation.



BRADY: Don't worry.

I've got determination.



Hey, Kayla.



Brady Frances.

We're in French class together.



I'm the one

that always gets nosebleeds.



Would you like to go

to the prom with me?



Hold on a second.



-Hey, Kevin.




Would you like to go

to the prom with me?



Sure. I'd love to.






I'm already going to the prom

with Kevin Gibbons.



[Softly] No.



Kevin Gibbons.



[School bell rings]






Let me get this straight.



You harbor animosity

towards this Kevin...



because some girl

wanted to go to the prom...



with him instead of you?






Spellbinding pity,

but the story's still yours.



[Sighs] Yes, sir.



Hey, hey, and Brady...



Now get out of here

and don't mess this one up.



Jenna, yeah.

I changed my    :   lunch.




It's payback time.



[Telephone rings]



Hey, dude,

you don't look so good.











You usually look better.



What, can you not hear

the phone?







-Kind of. Kind of yellow.

-Where's the phone?



Is my Adam's apple

all pathetic?






WOMAN: Hello, Kevin, it's me,

the girl from the "L" Train.



It's you. Wow.

I didn't think you'd call.



-Of course I called.

-How are you?



That's the chick

from the train.



BOTH: ls that the chick

from the train?



Dude, is that the chick

from the--




Shut up.



Oh, yeah, it's got to be.



So, uh, can we meet up?



Chugga, chugga, choo, choo.



How about Goody's diner?



BOTH: Choo, choo!



  :  ?



All right.




Chugga, chugga, choo, choo!







BOTH: Yeah! Ow! Whoo!



WOMAN SINGING: This is my one

chance to be a rock star



Come on and call me



This is my image,

these are my dances









[Classical music playing]






No, no, no.



The sucker's going to split

in a matter of days.



Yeah. No.

Now is not the time to sell.






[Sighs] Work.



You know, you didn't have

to come up this weekend.



That's OK. Hey, come on.



It's my turn.



Besides, I got some work done

on the train.



[Sitar music playing]



I don't mean to be rude,

but why are you here?



When I saw your poster,

I just knew I had to meet you.



I could tell

that we would have...



a cosmic connection.



You sensed that from a poster?






How's school?



Oh, hectic,

with finals next week.



Well, soon, you'll be

back home in Chicago...



we'll be together,

and you can relax.



Actually, I was thinking

I want to volunteer...



for the Field Museum

when I get back.






I appreciate, you know,

your fossil hobby, but--






it's not just a hobby.



-You're a water sign.




[Jewelry jingles]



Oh. Uh-huh.







Oh. You see, Kevin...



astrology is actually

chock-full of--Shoot!







Get this away from me.



It's OK. It's OK.

Listen, pork happens.



-Don't patronize me.

-Excuse me?



What do you take me for,

some kind of freak?



You did call me out of the blue

from a poster.



Well, that's because

I thought we had a connection--



a cosmic connection, Kevin.



And I thought maybe you'd be

different, but you're not.



You're all the same--

all of you.



And I don't have to take this.

I'm from Oregon.



What are you looking at?



Ow! What did I do?



[Door closes]



PAUL: I'm going to have

to call you later, OK?







So, where were we?



-We were talking about us.

-We were?



-No, but I think we should.

-Well, Abbey--



Paul, the only time

you got excited today...



is when your phone rang.



I'm beginning to feel

like three's a crowd.



Well, I think I've got a way

of making it up to you.



What's that I see?

Yes, we have a smile.






AI Green at the Opera House?



Just you and me. We're going

to have a great time.



[Cell phone rings,

cash register rings]






[Breaks wind]



ERIC: Oh, man.

You wash your grimy butt...



in my tub again, you're

going to have to pay rent.



Well, excuse me.



I mean, I got to frickin'

take a shower.



Mine's busted at my apartment,

and I got a gig tonight...



so I don't want to smell

like B.O.



That's why that record contract

has remained so elusive.



-Oh, yeah?

-Oh, nice shot.



-You're a philistine.

-[Breaks wind]



You're a flatulent philistine.




Get out ofhere, man.



Mick! Mick! Mick! Mick!

Mick! Mick! Mick! Mick!



Welcome back to TRL, you guys.



Times Square, New York City

is off the hook...



because this man

has entered the studio.



-Hey, Rod.




-Your hero's on TV.

-No way!




I have great news for you.



You have made TRL history.



The video for Every Cloud

has a Silver Lining--



twenty-six straight weeks

at number one.



You broke your own record,




You broke your own record!



That has to feel amazing.

How does it feel?



You know,

the Mick won the record...



but the Mick lost the record

at the same time.



So unfortunately, there has

to be a winner and loser.



In this case, the Mick is both,

so the Mick feels conflicted.




Either way it goes, you win.



Dude, I can't believe this guy.



What is wrong with

the music industry today, huh?



I graduated from the school

of hard knocks, you know...



but that's what keeps

the Mick so grounded.



He is not about the love.

He's not about the passion.



Dude, I'm about the love.



-And the passion.

-And the odor.






But the Mick's

going to show his mad love...



for Chi-town later this week.



HOST: Oh, he's going home.



He's going home!



That's right.

Give it up for Mick on TRL!



-Hey, at least he has a degree.

-Uhh! This guy's a tool.



I am--I am--I am...



[Telephone rings]



I got it.






Yo, it's the "E" to the "R"

to the "I" to the "C"...



In the place to be.

That's me. What--what?



Brady freakin' Frances?



-Brady Frances?

-From the paper?



Yo, what up, kid?



Oh, man, I'm chillin'--



just coolin' as the other side

of the pillow...



you know what I'm saying?




Uh, I don't get it.



No, like when you wake up

late at night, and you--



Forget it, dude.



What you want? For real?



Yeah, yeah, man.

Hang on a second.



Yo, he wants to interview you

for the paper.



He got one of those posters...



and he wants to talk about

the girl from the train.



[Laughs] No way.



Way. Just chill for a second.

Think about this.



If you get your name in print,

and people start seeing you...



as some guy

who's going to take a risk...



you're not going

to be known...



as the guy who can't

seal the deal anymore, right?



I'm not doing an interview.



Kev, come on. I think it would

be a great PR move for you.



It'll help you find her.








Ah, shadoobie



Ah, ah, shadoobie



Doo wah, shadoobie



Ah, ah, shadoobie, doobie



Hold me up,

that's where I fell



Found myself dreamin'

ofyour face



Your face, your face,

your face



Took a lot ofplans to take



Somehow ended up at your place



Your place, your place



[Women giggle]



And have I been, tell me



Tell me



What can I do to help me,

help me



Do you see what I see



Ah, ah, shadoobie



Doo wah, shadoobie



Ah, ah, shadoobie, doobie



Do you see what I see?



Ah, ah, shadoobie



Doo wah, shadoobie



Ah, ah, shadoobie




Way to go, Romeo.



[Nathan laughs]



[Laughs] Hi, Kevin.



[Nathan laughing]



HIGGINS: Ha ha ha ha!






Gibbons. Oh ho ho!



Oh, Gibbons...



why don't you just offer

a reward?



Like with a lost puppy?



Ha ha ha! Oh!



Oh, son, it's so sad.



You've gotten it

all bass-ackwards.



Look, first

you get the power...



then you get the money...



and then you buy the love.



Oh. Gibbons, please.



Don't be a dummy.



[Phone beeps]




Reebok's on the line.



Could you ask them to hold,




Focus on the job at hand.



Money makes the world

go around...



and anyone that tells you that

money is the root of all evil--




Doesn't have any.






WOMAN: Are you talking to

the young man from the train?






WOMAN: We'd like him

to head up the creative team.







WOMAN: Reebok can use people

with his kind ofpassion.



Gibbons, ignore everything

I've ever told you.



ANNOUNCER: Now batting,

second baseman Eric Young.



ERIC: Straight from the oven

ofyour mama's house.



-I'll take a bag.

-There you go, fella.



Yo, what's up, fellas?



What's up? Man,

No-Action Jackson over here...



keeps talking about

the girl from the train.



Man, are you serious? Would you

cut it out already, dude?



You're like the poster boy for

the romantically challenged.



Hey, yo, this guy needs a date.



Hey, anybody read

the newspaper today?



This is the guy

from the train...



who put up that poster

trying to find that girl.



-Would you shut up?

-Oh, that's so romantic.



-I have a daughter.

-Oh, yeah? Does she eat meat?



ANNOUNCER: Now batting...



I don't know

why I tell you guys anything.



ANNOUNCER: Fred McGriff.




I don't even understand this.



I mean, it's like

maybe you thought her up...



in your mind

or some stuff like that.



It's like you think

she's, like, Julia Roberts...



but in reality,

she's like Dr. Ruth.



As usual, Rod,

I have no clue what you mean.



Hey, you really think

this babe is going to call you?



I don't know. I just wish

I knew where she was.



ANNOUNCER: The Cubs have had

  opportunities to score...



in as many at-bats today.



And Telemachojumps ahead

ofhim two quick strikes.



Ha ha! Now, I can't believe

Brady hooked you up...



with that article

in the paper...



considering you dissed

and dismissed his ass...



back in high school.



Don't you have some work to do?



ANNOUNCER: And here's

Sammy Sosa in the fourth.



Sammy hit into a  - - 

inning-ending double play...



in the first.



The Cubs have had

  opportunities to score...



Oh! Oh!



-Ho ho!

-Ooh, that's got to hurt.



PLAYER: I can't believe

he's hit that guy three times.



Damn! That's the third time

this season I hit this guy.



ANNOUNCER: Sammy launched one

Sunday, you'll recall.



Todd Hundley's

waiting on deck.



He got the ball!

It him in the--



BRADY: What?



WOMAN: You want nuts

in your noodles?



Yeah, sure, whatever.







You think she'll call him?



-Ha! You think I care?

-You should care.



You're writing

the follow-up article on him.



I hope she does call.

He seems sweet.



Kevin Gibbons is a gimp.



He's making

a complete idiot of himself.



I mean,

I can't even believe...



people are taking

the article seriously.



What do you have

against this guy?



Nothing. I just don't see

what the big deal is.



Well, he took a chance.

He went for something.



I think--I think women

like that. It's romantic.




That girl will never be mine






That girl




You have forty-seven messages.



N'SYNC: Oh, first time

I saw her at the front door



That girl, the face

on every billboard



Hands down,

you won't believe the way



She laid her eyes on me



Six feet,

I spot her from the catwalk



So fly,

we got into a small talk



Too bad she had to move along






One smile, and she was gone



I can't explain



I never thought

that I was gonna lose my head



Call me insane



There's got to be a way



How can I get next to her



Now tell me

how it's gonna be done



Will I win or lose this one



Don't care about the fact



That she's

in a different league



They say it's no use



That I try



That girl will never be mine



Last night,

I ran into her briefly



Guess what,

she really wanna see me



They said

that I was out ofline



Who's wrong,

who's right this time?



Can't explain



I never thought

that I was gonna lose my head



Call me insane



There's got to be a way



How can I get next to her



They say it's no use



That I try



No, no, no



They say it's no use

that I try



[Telephone ringing]



That girl will never be






What the heck

did you do that for?



That's for using my towel

the other day.



Yeah? Well, I also

wore your underwear.







I got it! I got it!

I got it! I got it!



I got it...



[Ball thuds]



Oh, my gosh, dude.

What is this?



-It's a hot dog.

-Thanks, man.



No problem.



-Sure it's done?




So, Kev,

I bet you're wondering why...



we asked you out

to play barbecue ball...



this fine, cold day in Chicago.



-'Cause I brought the food?




Well, yeah, kind of,

but also because...



I came up with

this really brilliant idea.



Actually, it's more like

a proposition for you.



Why am I afraid to hear this?



I don't know. Me and the guys

were just thinking that...



you could do all these babes,

like, a big, huge favor...



and let us take them out.



And how is that possibly

a good idea?



First off...



there are just way too many

calls for you to handle solo...



and secondly...




What was number two?




We screen the girls...



and we help you find

"the girl."







And if, perchance, you know...



we were to make

some kind of connection...



with one

of these fine young ladies...



well, so much the better.



Yeah! We all win big.





-That's not a bad idea.



I can't believe

I didn't think of that.



Rod, yeah!

I told you he'd go for it.



I was actually surprised

you didn't think of it, too.



-I gave you a couple days.

-Absolutely not, guys.



Game's over. See you later.



Um...l say he's coming around.



That went pretty well.









-Uh, Mr. Higgins.




-Listen, I'm not quite--

-You don't go ginkgo, do you?




-Biloba, Gibbons.



You lack

an abundance of energy.



There's a certain overall

malaise about you, Gibbons.



I just think that a smoothie

with a shot of ginkgo in it...



would remedy that.



Well...l prefer coffee.



Well, it's your colon, Gibbons.



I hate to bring this up...



but Jackie tells me

you're not pulling your weight.






Look, this proposal

is due in three days...



and I can't have you

half-hearting it.



-We'll have it done, sir.




-[Telephone rings]

-Excuse me.



Kevin Gibbons.

How can I help you?



What up, kid?



Yo, look, brother, I am

begging you to reconsider.



No. I'm gonna have

to call you back, OK?



Come on, Kev.

Help us help you!



Man, would you stop being

so selfish for a sec...



and think about the team here?



Gibbons, this campaign

is very important to us.



Your job depends on it.



Do we understand each other?



-All you gotta do is say yes!

-Yes. Yes.



Dude, are--are you sure

that's cool?



-Are you sure?













Ooh hoo hoo!



[Dial tone]



Hello? Hello?



Yeah! We're gonna get

some dates! We're gonna get...



ANNOUNCER: Let's have a round

of applause for Mr. AI Green!



[Applause and cheering]



[Music playing]



Started to write this song

about you



And then I decided



That I would write it



All about love



Then it appeared to me



That you wasn't happy



Oh, that's for sure






That's what the world

is made of



So give me more l-o-v-e,




Love is a walk

down Main Street



CHORUS: Oh, love



AL GREEN: Love is an apple,

honey, so sweet



Dude, I can't believe

you scored such great seats.



Dude, I can't believe

how many hotties dig AI Green.



It's strange to me



Maybe time

will bring us together



And I can be

such a happy fella



[New song]

...you put me through



You stole my money

and my cigarettes



And I ain't seen

hide nor hair ofyou yet



I want to know



Tell me



'Cause I'd love to stay



Oh oh oh



Take me to the river



Wash me down



Won't you cleanse my soul



Where you going?

Ha ha.



Oh. Sorry. Wrong person.




Come on, somebody!



I don't know

why you treat me so bad



How about all the things

that we could have had



Love is a notion

that I can't forget



My sweet sixteen

I will never forget



I want to know,

won't you tell me?




Hello? Can you hear me?




yes, you are, yes you are



Hey, Abbey, it's Paul.



Hey, where are you?

The show's already started.



PAUL: I know I'm supposed

to meet you right now...



but I'm caught up

in a meeting. I can't leave.



No! I was just really

looking forward to this.




I'm really, really sorry, OK?



I want you to enjoy yourself.



I want you

to have a good time.



Have a great meeting.



PAUL: I've got to go.

I'll see you later, yeah?




-OK, bye.







Put my feet on the ground



Get mejust above you



Take me to the river







Can I see your tickets, please?



Oh, tickets?

Yeah, I got tickets, man.



You're very wonderful.



I was reading today

in the newspaper...



about a young man

who found someone on a train.



You're kidding me.



I got 'em.

What do they look like?



I knew this was

too good to be true.



AL: ...that they may

find Love and Happiness...



wherever it is.



I got 'em. Oh, man!



[Music playing]




Hey, let go of the threads!



Hey, don't make me

get rough with you!



Didn't we go to school




[AI Green singing]






I--I didn't think

I'd ever see you again.



I've been kicking myself

for not asking your name.



I was hoping you'd say that.

My name is...



CONDUCTOR: Adams Street.







CONDUCTOR: Next stop, Madison.



I'm sorry. I didn't hear it.

What was your name?



[Train honks]



[Cell phone rings]



Saturday at  :  ? You got it!



ERIC: They got vegetables,

they got everything.



Yeah, sure. That depends.

What do you like?



I know this absolutely

exquisite trattoria.



What's your favorite kind

of food?



I need Saturday,  :   stat!



I've got a  :   and a  :  .

I could do it at  :   !




-Give me an  :   on Saturday--



KEVIN: Hello?!



Give me something good.

This girl is special to me.



What the heck is going on here?



Oh, man, we got this down--

phone, reservation, scheduling.



Check it out.

It is all good!




You don't even want to know!



I got the Twins for you

at Oak Park at  :  !



It's gonna be great!



That will be perfect.

I'll pick you up at eight-ish.



-[Phone rings]




-This cannot be happening.

-Done! Thank you.



What is your problem, man?

You gave us the green light.



What? Green light?

What are you talking about?



You said yes on the phone

the other day, remember?






We could stand here all night

and play "he said, he said."



-Shh! Shh!

-[Record scratches]



Yes? Oui, madame.

Vous etes francaise?



Yeah, yeah,

he's got a french girl!



[Sheep baas]



OK, think of something French.



ROD: Le pou-pou de mama?



Uh...yeah, sure.



-Eric! Line one.




Patch it through now.




Hello, this is Kevin.







Hello? [Beep]



That sounded like a dude.



-That was strange.




Why are you reading this?



I don't know.



I thought you'd appreciate

that I'm into your articles.



Look at this.



All these pathetic women

want to meet this guy.



People are lonely.






Anyway, I think the notion

of someone finding true love...



is--is beautiful!



And I hope she calls him.



What is your obsession

with this guy?






I'm obsessed?



Well, you do understand...



that the whole notion of love

is merely a myth.



It was invented by corporations

to turn a profit.



-Love doesn't exist.

-That's romantic.



-Romance doesn't exist.

-I feel sorry for you.



What, you think he's romantic?



That loser's just putting up

posters to meet more girls.



-You're just jealous!

-[Door slams]



If you like him so much,

why don't you call him?






[Cell phone rings]



Yo, who dis?







That's my name.



Ask me again,

I'm gonna tell you the same.



Hi, it's me--

the girl from the train.



Hey, what up?



So, you know,

when we hookin' up?



Uh, tomorrow night, I'm free.



Tomorrow? Sunday?



Um, yeah, cool.

How's Cafe de Love?



- :  ?

-Yeah. That sounds good.




I'll be there with bells on.



[Hangs up]






[Squirt, squirt]



[Squirt, squirt, squirt]



[Gags and coughs]



[Clears throat]









[Squirt, squirt]



-[Squirt] Oh!




Well, being that

I'm a pop star, you know...



it's easy to find guys.



It's just not easy

finding the right guys...



so when I saw your poster,

I knew you'd be different...



you know?

Not the player type.



Has anybody ever told you...



that you have the face

of a de Kooning woman?



I'm pierced in    different

places on my body.



ERIC: Enough of this talk,

all right?



You and me take a walk.




Like tonight, we'll head back

to your pad...



where we can get glad.















Ah! You stole my poster!



Hi, Kevin.



Brandi, she's sweet as candy!

Yeah, you the finest sista.



Can I kiss ya?




That's the last time...



She's into me.



Hi. I'm Julie.



Hi. I'm...Kevin.









Oh, yeah, baby!

Oh, come on, come to Papa.



Come on, come here.

That's it.



Yeah, I won't bite.

I promise.



That's it. Come here.



Cheers, baby. I'm Kevin.



No, you're not.



Are you saying

I'm not who I say I am?



Yeah. That's exactly

what I'm saying.



Hey, what's the problem?



I knew you sounded different

on the phone.



Hey, wait a second.

Come back here. Come on.



If you don't like this place,

we can go somewhere else.



Hey, come on! You should

at least try an appetizer!



Look, I'm not him,

you're not her.



What difference does it make?

Come on!




I don't know who you are...



but if you don't leave me alone

I'll call the cops.



Hey, honey, come here.



What part of

"I'll call the cops"...



didn't you understand?



Like the whole thing.



You're her.



You're the one from the train.



Yeah, you are fine!



Um, uh, Washington,

Lincoln, Donny Reagan...



Martin Sheen,

Mr. Miyagi, Billy Joel...



I'm a friend of Kevin's.



Does he know you're doing this?



Yes. You wouldn't believe

how many ladies have called.



We could start

a booming business!



Wait a second.

That's not a bad idea.






Yeah, OK, fine. So, then,

I'll just call you later?












[Keys jingle]






I don't think it was him.



What do you mean?



I think his friends

are answering the calls...



and taking the girls out.



Yes! I knew it!



Now I can expose him

for the fraud he is!



Heh heh! Kevin Gibbons.



His butt is mine!






You know what I mean.






What the heck happened to you?










Hey, baby, hey, baby



Yeah, baby, yeah, baby



Hey, baby, hey, baby



-Yeah, baby

-Yeah, baby, yeah



Good morning, Margie.



MAN SINGING: Baby, baby, baby

baby, baby, baby



Baby, baby, baby

baby, baby, baby



Baby, baby, baby




we need to have a little talk.



Mr. Higgins, the proposal,

it's coming along great.



Oh, yes, about that.




How can I put this delicately?



Reebok wants you

off the campaign.






Mm-hmm. Yes.

Apparently they read...



that last article about you

in the paper...



you know, about how

you said you wanted to find...



the one girl

so that you could date...



every desperate woman

in the Windy City...



which I think was masterful--

masterful, Gibbons.



But Reebok,

they got cold feet...



no pun intended.



How can an article have

anything to do with my work?



Ah! Well, Gibbons,

clients are funny that way.



They said they didn't want

someone on their team...



who would say one thing

and do another.



It's an image thing for them.



But I don't understand.



Gibbons, I'm sick about this,

but my hands are tied.






Hey, there, Kev.






You might want to start

practicing with the mail cart.






So, I take it

it was a fruitful evening?



ERIC: Oh, yeah, dude.



Those little birdies

didn't stand a chance.



I was like,

bam, bam, bam-bam-bam!



Ha ha! [Blows]



You know what I'm sayin'?

How 'bout you?



Well, let's

just say that, uh...



my action cup runneth over.



Ha ha! Action cup!

That's a metaphor, right?



RANDY: Yeah.



ERIC: Ha ha!

That's a good one.







-Good morning.

-How you doing?



Why so crestfallen, young man?



I don't want to talk about it.



At this table,

we kiss and we tell.



Yeah, and then we tell

some more, so come on!



I think I injured my date.



Ha ha! Come on, dude!

Don't be so cocky!



No, I'm serious.

She's jacked up.



-What is she, a car?

-Isn't that a good thing, dude?






-So, what--what's up?




All right,

I'll tell you what happened.



We're on a date...



-met her at the bar...




Brought her to my apartment.



And all of a sudden

she points to me...



and she says to me,

"I want to hear you play...



one of the songs

that you wrote."



-Ha ha ha!




So I thought that was

friggin' great, right?



So I was like, "Sure!"

So there I am.



So I startjammin'.




I'm singin', I'm goin',

I'm groovin', I'm rockin'...



I'm rollin'. I'mjust goin'

absolutely crazy.



You know that signature move

when I kick that amp?



RANDY: Oh, yeah!



That's when it happened.











[Playing music]







Dude, you broke her nose?




-And her ankle.



-Ha ha ha!

-Ha ha ha!



Yo, she got rocked!



But it's not funny.



Um, so, guys...



have we decided

what we're gonna do...



um, you know, if the real girl

actually calls?



Well, if she hasn't

called by now--



And obviously,

if she does happen to call...



the right thing to do is

close up shop, end of story.



Anything else

would be unconscionable.



I saw her last night.







-She was my  :  .



Have you told Kevin about this?



-Not yet.

-Well, you need to tell him!



Well, yeah, but

what about our operation, man?



I mean...



All right. Fine.







Dang it! ldiotic machine!



I swear I will unplug you and

throw you down all flights...



of these stairs

in this building.







I just have

our biggest clients waiting...



and the machine's

taking a coffee break.



-Where's Nathan?

-Who cares?



I have two minutes

before the Reebok meeting...



and if I don't get

these copies made...



my whole proposal

turns to crud.



OK. All right. I can do this.



Hold on. Let me take a look.



I don't have time for this,




Come on, Lucille.

Don't die on me now.




Daddy knows you're tired...



but Daddy knows you got

a few more left in you.



Yes, you do! Yes, you do!



What are you doing?

ls this gonna work?



Sometimes, but if it doesn't...




-[Machine starts]



[Knocks twice]

Give her a little love tap.



[Sirens and traffic]









Hello? It's me!






-You what?

-I saw her.



Where? When?

I mean, you did?




-Well, what happened?



She blew me off.



Oh, man! That is bad!



You know, it doesn't

surprise me, though.



After all the articles

in the paper...



but the thing

I don't understand--



why didn't she call

in the first place?






she did call.






Yeah. Um...



we sort of went out on a date.



KEVIN: Wait a minute.



She called, you took her out...



and you didn't tell me?



Well, l--No, I just did.



Whoa, man!

Hey, it's not like I tried...



to kiss her or anything.

Kev, come on!



-Let's talk about thi--




Ow! Uhh!



Oh! Uhh! Aw!



Kevin, come back here, man!



We're not gonna take it



No, we ain't gonna take it



We're not gonna take it




-You guys--




Take five.



MUSICIAN: Come on, dude.




it sounded all right.




it sounded pretty good.



Listen, Kev, what

we did was inconsiderate...



selfish, stupid, classless.

I mean--



you can stop me anytime.

I mean--



Keep goin'.



I guess we just acted

like jackasses, man.



Just wanted to say I'm sorry.



I appreciate the apology...



but the damage

is already done, so...



Do you know why I wanted

to become a musician?



Hmm. Girls, money, fame.



No. The music, man.

It's the music.



I mean, when I'm

up there on that stage...



everything is just right

and the world's perfect...



until they start booing me.



You never know who might

listen to your song...



and actually like it.



I guess me dreaming...



and thinking about

writing my songs...



it's kind of like that girl...



that you met on the train,

you know?



You know, you want

something so bad it hurts.



I just admire

your passion, Kev.



You inspired me

to write this...



and, uh...



I figure if you could

put yourself on the line...



to find that girl,

I can do the same.



Write my original song.



Good luck with that.






N'SYNC: And I pray

you're falling, too



I've been falling, falling



Girl, I'm falling for you



And I pray you're falling, too



I've been falling, falling



Ever since the moment



I laid eyes on you



Can't you see?



Can't you see



That I'm falling, falling?



Girl, I'm falling for you



And I pray you're falling, too



Yeah, yeah



Falling, falling



Ever since the moment



I laid eyes on you






I'm falling



[Sighs] Well, we really screwed

this one up, huh, fellas?



We? What do you mean, we?

It was your idea.



Hey, come on!

I didn't force you...



to go on

any of those dates, OK?



Yo, listen. Kevin said

that it wasn't a good idea.



[Both argue]



Gentlemen, please.



Guys, come on. Listen to us.



This is stupid.

We're being petty.



We have to step back,

and we have to look...



at the bigger picture here,

all right?



We all messed Kevin over.



All right. There's

a bit of truth in that...



but you know what? Now we

gotta make things right, right?










How are we gonna do that?



I got an idea.









Look. I'm gonna

start right here...



and jump, zip, lock,

I'm gonna ride this.



Now, Randy, I want you

to start right around the loop.



[Indistinct talking]



People, we're looking

for the real "L" train girl.



RANDY: Yeah, she's the one.

Here you go.



Wanted--we're looking

for the real train girl.



Have you seen this--

anybody seen this girl?



She's real cute, and, uh...



you seen this girl?

Take that. Thank you.



Take a--take a flier.

Here you go.



Has anybody seen this girl?




Every time I look around



But everywhere you are



A little short. She's got

pretty hair, beautiful eyes.



Hello. Here you go.



Beautiful hair, pretty eyes



Do you know her?

Have you seen this girl?



I'm trying to find her.



Have you seen this girl?



Anybody seen this girl?



Has anybody seen this woman?



Hello, we need some help here.

This is really important.



We're looking

for this girl, OK?



Hey! Hey, we need your help,




Hey, has any one of you

ever been in love? Huh?



Has anyone ever met someone

they thought was their destiny?



Well, my friend

Kevin Gibbons did.



I wasn't there for him then,

but I am here now.



Me and my friends, you know,

we took advantage of Kevin...



and his situation.



-He didn't even know it.




We went behind his back.

We messed him over.



So come on, people...



take a look at this flier,




ERIC: And I leave you

with this.



Love may not make

the world go 'round...



but it's what makes

the ride worthwhile.




But anywhere you are



I'll be under you



Every time I look around



I need you now



Every time I look around



I need you now



Every time I look around



But anywhere you are



I'll be under you



Hey, Margie,

have you seen Nathan?



Didn't you hear?



He had a heart attack

last night...



right after the Cubbies lost.



Hi, um, I'm looking

for a patient.



-His name is--




NATHAN: lfyou think

this food tastes so good...



then you eat it!



Uh, never mind.



So, Eric Young doubles

for an RBl...



in the top of the ninth.



Bottom of the ninth,

Wood "K"s the side.



Set 'em up, sit 'em down.



You know,

this isn't the first time...



my Cubbies

have put me through this.



Ulcer during the '   playoffs.




when they lost in '  .



And you should have seen the way

my hemorrhoids flared up...



when they went down in '  .



But that team

also gives me a reason to live.



So, did it ever work out

between you...



and that nice girl

from the train?



I wanted it to, but I don't

think it's gonna happen.



August         .

My beloved Cubs...



were down by nine runs

to the Astros in the sixth...



but did they give up?

No, sir.



They fought tooth and nail,

and they won in extra innings.



I'll never give up

on my Cubbies.



Maybe you shouldn't give up

on that girl, either.






you gonna tell me

what that's all about?



Ernie Banks's dinger.



Caught it the day I met my wife.



I want you to have it.



Thanks, Nathan.



Now, you're not gonna

kiss me, are ya?






Go ahead.

Go find that girl.



JACKIE: Reebok signed off

on the account.



That's great.



And I finally got promoted

to senior exec.






Look, Kevin,

I know I'm a hard case...



but you're just gonna

have to deal with it...



when you design the account.



I'm back on the account?



Reebok needs

your talent and passion...



especially after I told them

that it was your idea.



I knew there was a soft side

in there somewhere.



Maybe, but this is strictly

a business decision.



Sure. I understand.



That's a final copy of the ad.



You may want to take a look

at it before it goes up.



It's gonna be billboards

all over the city.



Oh, I hope that you find that

girl you've been looking for.



KEVIN: Jackie...










You and I go way up high



In the dark



Tell me where the light's

gonna come from now



Is it you? Was it me?



Fallen, out ofhope,

a tight rope



After all, baby,

you should know



Not to beat the ground



All that talk's but a fog






Love is a high-wire act



We've got to get



Our balance back




playing all the biggest hits.



Good morning, Chicago.



Hey, for all you

helpless romantics out there...



there's a new twist

on that train story...



we've all been reading about.



Turns out...




We've already lost our way



The memory ofyesterday



We're still strong enough

to light the way



Don't look down



We can rebound



Whatever may lie ahead



Keep your eyes on me now



Still strong enough

to light the way



Don't look down



We can rebound



KEVIN: Hey, guys.







-How you feeling? Good?

-You're looking good.



-You know what? I feel good.

-And you look good.



Listen, do you want

a little piece of advice?



This time, when she shows,

do us all a favor...



and get her name and number.



All right.

I'll remember that.



You better hurry up, you know.

It's almost time.



You know what, guys?



I'm gonna have to do this one

on my own.



Whoa! Are you sure

you don't want...



the team there

for moral support?



No, thanks.






better go.



All right.



Wait, wait. Open.






Never know, man.



[Pats back]



All right, guys.

Do another set?



You know,

sometimes you just gotta...



Iet 'em go

and hope you raised 'em well.







It's the most romantic story...



to hit Chicago in years.



A young man putting up

posters and billboards...



all over town in an effort to

find the girl ofhis dreams.



In fact,

can you turn the camera?



There's one right there

behind my shoulder.




at the "L" train platform...



at Wabash and Adams.



There'sjust about

fifteen minutes to go...



and then Kevin Gibbons...



[All chattering]



[Cameras clicking]



MAN: Some may call him crazy,

others, a hopeless romantic...




...waiting to see the outcome.



The big question

on everybody's mind is...



will she or will she not show?



[Crowd shouting encouragement]



[Door opens]






ROD: It's the Mick!



Mick Silver!

Hey, the Mick!



Oh, my gosh! The Mick!

It's really you!



Gosh, I can't believe it!

Dude, I seen you on TV.



I mean, you are a legend!

You are great!



What are you doing here?






The Mick received

this demo tape in the mail.



From who?



From a man

who shall remain nameless.






Hey, the Mick

digs your sounds, man.




-Hey, the Mick don't lie.



No, man, you never lie.

You always say the truth.



And when it is the truth,

it is the truth!



How would you like

to record your new stuff...



on the Mick's new label?



Would l?

Man, I can't believe it!




Whoa! Easy, easy!



You're all about

the passion, man!



Oh, my God!

I can't believe Mick--



-Hi, Julie.

-Hi, Rod.



-How's the ankle?

-Oh, it's busted.



Oh, sorry.

Um, have you met the Mick?



Mick, Julie. Julie, Mick.

Julie, Mick.



Yeah. Well, Mick's all right,

but I'm more into you, Rod.



Really? Um...



how'd you like to hear

my new song?



-Yeah. I'd love to.

-Great. OK.



All right, this is...




a song I wrote...



for a very good friend of mine.



[Music starts]



I get a feeling



I can't explain



Whenever your eyes meet mine



My heart spins in circles



And I lose all space and time



And now that

we're standing face-to-face



Something tells me



It's gonna be OK



And I'm ready

to fall in love tonight



I'm ready to hold

my heart open wide



I can't promise forever



But, baby, I'll try



I'm ready to fall



In love tonight



I know you've been watching



Choosing your moment



But I've been dreaming

of that day



No one before you



Has gotten to me this way



And now that



We're standing face-to-face



There's something

I need to say



That I'm ready

to fall in love tonight



I'm ready to hold

my heart open wide



I can't promise forever



But, baby, I'll try



'Cause I'm ready to fall...



REPORTER: Well, here we are

just after   P.M...



and there is still no sign...



of the young lady

from the "L" train.




Nothing is certain



This I know



Wherever we're headed



I'm ready to go






[Crowd cheering]




I can't promise forever



But, baby, I'll try



'Cause I'm ready to fall



In love tonight



Yes, I'm ready to fall



In love tonight



Two questions--



What is your name?



And can I please have

your phone number?



Abbey, and I thought

you'd never ask.




ln love tonight



In love tonight



[Cheering and whistling]







'Cause I'm ready to fall



In love tonight



In love tonight



Ahh, he's still a shmoe.









I'm so in love with you



Whatever you want to do



Is all right with me



'Cause you make me feel



So brand-new



I want to spend my life with--



[Record scratches]



MAN: We are here

with an exclusive look...



behind the scenes

of the movie On the Line.








More like N'Stink.



-You can't say that.

-I did. I don't care.



Is the camera on?



The two of us right here, we

are very, very professional...



about everything we do.



Unlike some poop stars.



I mean, seriously,

Joey's one thing, but Lance...



I loved you from the minute

I saw you on the "L"?



That was very convincing.



I loved you from the moment

I saw you on the "L"?



-Where's the writer?

-Where's the writer?



Angelo, how many times

do I have to tell you...



I need height? I want

to see this from China!




-Gimme that.



-I just--

-Did I say you could speak?



Ow! Oh oh oh!



Are you guys for real?







Angelo. What's up?



You guys are amazing!



You look like

a million dollars!



You look incredible.



Joey, I have two words for you.



You are this generation's

Marlon Brando.



And, Lance,

I have three words for you.




Know what I'm saying?



Just promise me

I can do your hair...



for the Academy of Awards,




And I'll do makeup.



You two are the best.

I'll never forget this.



Really? Means a lot.



Yeah. Thanks.






Let me say that since, oh



Since we've been together



Lovin' you forever



Is what I need



Oh, let me be the one



You come running to



I'll never be untrue



Everybody sing






Let's stay together



Loving you whether






Times are good or bad,

happy or sad



That's right,

you heard the man



Mow come on,

let's stay together



You and me could be

tight forever and ever



Whether day or night

and whatever the weather



Let's live one life, girl,

never should we sever



You hold the power

to give him what he need



It's like every single flower

begins with a seed



Just give him what you got,

you know what I mean?



And ifnot,

I'll leave it up to AI Green



Let me be the one



You come running to



I promise I'll never be






Everybody sing






Let's stay together



Loving you whether



Whether times are

good or bad, happy or sad



Sing let's






Let's stay together



I can't stand it, no



Loving you whether






Times are good or bad,

happy or sad



Let me hear you






Let's stay together



Oh, I love you, baby



Loving you whether



Whether, aah



Times are good or bad



Happy or sad



I want you to sing with me






I want to tell everybody



All I want to do



Somebody help me now



Somebody help me now



Somebody help me now



Good or bad



Happy or sad



Coming down






Ha ha ha!



[Cheering and clapping]



AL GREEN: Ha ha ha!




Special help by SergeiK