Voila! Finally, the On The Line
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Lance Bass and Joey
Fatone movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of On The Line. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
[Wind blowing]
[Siren in distance]
[People chattering]
[Music playing]
KEVIN SINGING: Aw, one, two
princes kneel before you...
TEEN SINGING:
That's what I said now
KEVIN:
Princes, princes who adore you
-Just go ahead now
-One has--
TEEN:
And that's some bread now
This one said
he wants to buy you rockets
Ain't in his head
Marry him or marry me
KEVIN: It all started
because of a girl at a party.
KEVIN SINGING: I ain't got
no future or family tree
KEVIN: Spring, .
That was our band--Granite.
We were all about the rock.
I mean, we were hardcore.
And ifyou want
to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
And ifyou want
to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And ifyou like to talk
for hours
Just go ahead now
Go ahead now
-CROWD: Granite! Granite!
-[Feedback]
CROWD: Granite! Granite!
KEVIN:
And this was the moment.
My big chance to impress
the girl ofmy dreams.
-Kev, I got a great idea.
-What?
Why don't we just sing
the ballad that I wrote...
dedicate it to her...
and then when it's over,
just ask her out.
What are you, stupid?
She's right there.
All right,
let's do the ballad.
I can do this.
GIRL: Granite!
GUITARIST:
Yeah, Kevin, you can do it.
-Come on, Kevin.
-Don't be such a wuss.
-Come on, just do it.
-Kevin.
KEVIN: I didn't do it.
Ijust froze.
Come on, Kevin,
don't be a tulip!
KEVIN:
My heart started pounding.
-My pits started sweating.
-CROWD: Aw...
I felt naked up there.
-Kevin.
-Kevin!
[Laughter]
What is it?
[Thud]
I can't believe it, man.
That story gets funnier
every time I hear it.
Yeah.
Thanks for the support.
Man, come on.
You know what your problem is?
I think it's
a lack of self-confidence.
I mean, I know you go out
on dates and everything...
but I think when you find
the girl of your dreams...
you can't seal the deal,
you know?
Pick the fruit, spit the wad.
-You know what I'm saying?
-No, I don't.
BOY: I think what your friend
is trying to say...
is that you're suffering
from a classic psychosomatic...
communicative anxiety disorder.
Basically, you meet
the right girl, you choke.
That's what I was saying.
Dude, you got to relax.
Watch me work.
French fry?
[Bell rings]
FKR.
How can I direct your call?
Hold, please.
Yeah.
Have it under control?
Good morning, Margie.
FKR.
How can I direct your call?
-Hold, please.
-OK.
-Hey, baby
-Hey, baby
-Yeah, baby
-Yeah, baby
-Hey, baby
-Hey, baby
-Yeah, baby
-Yeah, baby
Oops.
[Women chattering and laughing]
Hey, Nathan, how's it going?
I got to spend another
one of my remaining days...
in this purgatory.
I got cataracts
the size of cantaloupes...
and I haven't had
a decent bowel movement...
since
the Reagan administration.
OK.
[Baseball game on TV]
So, are you ever going to
tell me about that baseball?
No.
[Mechanical whir]
[Machine beeping]
Come on, Lucille.
Don't die on me now.
Daddy knows you're tired...
but daddy also knows
you got another few in you.
Yes, you do.
Do you really think that works?
Sometimes,
but when it doesn't...
you give her
a little love tap.
[Clunk]
[Machine whirs]
Uhh.
Good morning, Jackie.
JACKIE: Good morning.
Uh, Gibbons?
I need you in here, please.
HIGGINS: You've done
excellent work here...
and now let me
ask you a question.
What does Reebok stand for?
Um, I believe the Reebok
is a type ofAfrican gazelle.
[Loud whirring]
No. Reebok stands
for credibility and prestige.
We are going global.
Wheatgrass?
I'll pass.
Reebok wants us to do...
their female 'tweens
footwear campaign.
-'Tweens?
-'Tweens, Gibbons--
for females between their
adolescence and teen years.
Get with it, Gibbons.
Ohh. Jackie,
could you come in here, please?
Mr. Higgins, this is such
a great opportunity for me.
I don't know what to say.
Well, then don't say anything.
I might change my mind.
You wanted to see me?
Yes. How's the Reebok campaign
coming along?
Excellent, sir.
I haven't completed the concept
yet, but I'm close.
Well, you just got
a little bit closer.
Gibbons here
is joining the creative team.
Hmm.
KEVIN: OK, Reebok.
All right.
We have two baby chickens...
and they're both wearing
Reeboks.
One is going, "Ree."
The other is going, "Bok."
Reebok, Reebok.
That's moronic, moronic.
-[Sighs]
-[Squeaks]
-I got it.
-Imagine my excitement.
Wait. OK. Picture this.
You have girls at a party,
girls on the soccer field...
girls at a concert...
all wearing Reebok.
And the tag line?
For girls who choose to move.
MAN SINGING: Yeah, baby
What do you think?
I think the wheatgrass...
has finally gone
to Higgins's head...
for putting you on the team.
You liked it that much?
Look, I've worked
at this office for five years.
I've got seniority on you.
This should be my account.
You don't like me very much,
do you?
Brilliant deduction, Scooby.
Now let's get back to work and
come up with some good ideas.
AL GREEN SINGING:
Hey, didn't go for that
It's a natural fact
Now I wanna come back
Won't you show me
where it's at
KEVIN SINGING: Where it's at
I'm so tired ofbeing alone
I'm so tired of on my own
Won't you help me, girl
Just as soon as you can
AL GREEN:
Yeah, I guess you know
That I love you so
Sorry.
AL GREEN:
You don't want me no more
[Turns off music]
ABBEY: I Can't Next to You.
KEVIN: Excuse me?
I'm So Tired ofBeing Alone
is a great AI Green song...
but I Can't Get Next to You...
seems a little more appropriate
right now.
And why's that?
Because
I can't get next to you.
Oh.
ABBEY: Ahem. Thanks.
Ahem.
I enjoyed your performance.
Thanks.
AI Green
helps me clear my head.
It's a mental thing.
Yikes.
I hear he's playing at
the Opera House in two weeks.
Maybe he's looking
for an opening act.
You like the Reverend?
[Laughs] My mom was listening
to Love and Happiness...
when she was in labor with me.
I think he's...
definitely in my soul. Ha ha.
So...
what do you do besides approach
strange men on the "L"?
I go to school--grad school.
-What do you study?
-Archeology.
Archeology.
What do you do...
besides serenade
strange people on the "L"?
Oh, wait. Wait, wait.
Let me guess.
You are an ad man.
Now, how did you do that?
It's stitched on your bag.
[Laughs]
Have you done anything
I might've seen?
I don't know. Uh...
I had a hand in the Pop Secret
popcorn campaign.
[Sings]
Butter makes it better, baby
That's it. That's me.
I actually wrote that.
So now when I go to Wrigley
and root for the Cubbies...
I can look up at the big
Pop Secret billboard...
and think of you.
-You're a Cubs fan?
-Heck, yeah. Born and raised.
All right, all right.
Um, so, tell me.
Tell me your best and worst
Cub moment.
-Best--whenever they win.
-Of course.
Worst--game five
in the ' playoffs.
BOTH: The ground ball
went through Durham's legs.
That is the worst moment
of my life.
Horrible.
I was so depressed.
I didn't even go to school
the next day.
I cried.
OK, most guys
wouldn't admit that.
Yeah. I don't know why
I just told you that.
DRIVER: Next stop, Adams--
Adams and Wabash.
That's my stop.
[Laughs]
Mine, too.
After you.
Thank you.
So, tell me something that
you would only tell a stranger.
Uh...whoo.
I like to make paper airplanes.
My dad's a pilot.
Really?
Oh, wait.
Do you have a piece of paper?
Yeah, sure.
What, am I going to get
a little demonstration?
Uh-huh. A little demonstration.
Thank you.
That's very impressive.
Thank you.
It's my own design.
Ah.
All right,
this is my favorite spot.
-So, you've done this before?
-Many times.
-You ready?
-I guess.
Here we go.
Strong takeoff. Smooth flight.
Excellent paper airplane.
ABBEY: Thank you.
Oh! Ha ha ha!
KEVIN: But I think your
landing needs a little work.
Yeah, a little.
Definitely.
All right, don't think
you're getting off so easy.
-It's your turn.
-I don't know. Um...
Let's see. Uhh.
OK. You're totally
going to think I'm lame...
but I can name
all the presidents in order.
Washington, Adams,
Jefferson, Madison...
Monroe, Adams,
Jackson, Van Buren...
Harrison, Tyler, Polk,
Taylor, Fillmore...
Pierce, Buchanan,
Lincoln, Johnson, Grant...
Hayes, Garfield, Arthur,
Cleveland, Harrison...
BOTH:
McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft...
Wilson, Harding, Coolidge,
Hoover, Roosevelt, Truman...
Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson...
Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan,
Bush, Clinton, Bush.
-Wow.
-Ha ha!
OK, I think we're the only
two people in the world...
who can do that
at the same time.
I think you may be right.
[Laughs] OK, that's amazing.
Um, I got to catch
the connecting train.
Right. Um...
Well, listen,
it was a pleasure...
commuting with you.
Yeah, it really was.
Well...
bye.
Ha ha!
Come on
Love is like a bomb, baby,
come on, get it on
Livin' like a lover
with a radar phone
Hey! To the bone
Rise a little, dance a little,
flash a little light
Television lover, baby,
go all night
Take the bottle
Shake it up
Break the bubble
Break it up
Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name oflove
Yo, man, come on,
tell me what happened.
You're sitting on the train.
She stands up.
Doors open. She's about to
get off, but she stops, right?
Did you say something to her?
I said it was a pleasure
commuting with her.
"It was a pleasure
commuting with you?"
I'm hot
Oh, that's great.
You couldn't say, like--
[Coughs] From my head
No number, no fingerprints,
no place of business?
OK, fine. I tanked.
-Again?
-Man, you need some help.
Yeah.
[Feedback]
[Crowd cheers, whistles]
Yeah!
MAN:
Come on! Ow! Whoo! Man.
-What's up, guys?
-Hey, that was hot, man.
It was great.
It was fantastic.
It stunk. I can't freakin'
believe these guys.
Man, I mean,
the band wasjust awful.
Dude, it wasn't that bad.
Come on, I was in the band.
You.
You should've never--
Don't even start this, man.
You should've never
quit the band.
Gentlemen,
this is the oldest argument.
It was a high school band.
No, it wasn't.
You know what it was.
Yeah. It was the best
high school band ever!
BOTH: Granite! Granite!
Granite! Granite!
Gimme some! Gimme some!
Gimme some! Gimme some!
The chicks were hot, man.
They were great.
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
Is that Brady freakin' Frances?
You didn't know he wrote
a column for the Post?
-No.
-Ooh, that's right. I forgot.
You just skip
right to the Family Circus.
Hey, Family Circus
is a good comic.
It's, like, one square,
and then you're done with it.
-Brady Frances--
-No, Brady Frances--
the guy that Kevin
swooped in on his girl...
back in high school prom time,
you remember?
Oh, my goodness. That was
a freakin' classic, man.
It was a calamity
is what it was.
That's not exactly
what happened.
-Aw, man.
-That was seven years ago.
I got another set, guys,
to do, so...
-Hey, play something good.
-OK.
Hey, look, man, let's face it.
You're twenty-four years old.
It's not the first time
you ever choked with a chick.
You know what I'm saying?
You got a problem.
Yeah, but this is different.
I mean,
this girl was incredible.
Yeah?
You know, it's embarrassing
when everyone knows you...
as the guy that always chokes.
Hey, man, come on.
Not everybody knows that.
Two more, please.
[Playing guitar]
Kevin, this one's for you.
Kevin sits silently still
In the dead of the day
Huh?
Wonderin'
ifhe finds that girl
Thatjust walked away
Hmm...
Was it something he said
or something he did
Did the words
not come out right
He didn't try
to get the digits
He didn't try
But I guess
that's why they say
Kevin crapped out on his own
[Pats back]
Uh...now everybody knows.
But his friends
would've helped him all along
That poor bonehead
Aw, man, you can
track her down, you know.
-How?
-I don't know. Lojack.
You could ride the train
every day looking for her.
You could put up posters
all over town. I don't know.
Yeah. "Single white male
seeks commuter on train...
to share intimate secrets."
Yeah, bud, that's kind of cool,
but I was thinking more like...
"Dog who loses bone
seeks train tramp."
[Barks]
Brain damage.
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
-Hey, you. You're back.
-Hey.
So, how was your weekend
in Chicago, hmm?
Mmm. It was fine.
Wait, wait, wait.
Sit.
You just spent the weekend with
your boyfriend of years...
who you haven't seen
in over a month.
That deserves a "phenomenal"
or at least an "exceptional"...
but definitely not
just a "fine." What is up?
I found a great apartment
in Lakeview.
It's right by Wrigley...
and I can move in
right after graduation.
But I thought that...
that you and Paul
were going to move in together.
[Sighs]
I don't know, Sam.
Everything is so different.
[Laughs]
What?
I met a guy on the train.
You met a guy on the train?
Yes. He was so cute,
and he was so nice.
And he totally listened to me.
Uhh.
We connected more
in five minutes...
than I have with Paul
over the past year.
Ha ha!
Abbey. Ha ha!
Well, you already know
Jackie...
so let me introduce the new
member of my creative team...
Kevin Gibbons.
And may I say that my team
has come up with a campaign...
that I feel you will all agree
has universal appeal.
So, without any further ado...
allow me to present...
[Sighs]
And the tag line is...
"Reebok--step into the future."
[Crickets chirping]
[Gulp]
[Whispering]
-It's a little, uh, cold.
-Hmm?
We were hoping
for something more lively...
with a little more depth.
-Huh.
-Actually--
Actually, we totally agree.
That's why l--we came up
with something so fabulous.
Did we?
Well, I don't like surprises,
you know.
Mmm.
Let me present to you...
what we believe will be
Reebok's new campaign.
Ahem.
Girls at a party...
girls at school,
girls at a concert...
girls at a soccer field--
all wearing Reeboks.
The tagline?
"For girls who choose to move."
-But that's--
-That's great.
When can you have it by?
Uh, Kevin here could
make copies of the mock-ups...
and messenger them
over to you...
by the end of the business
day, couldn't you, Kevin?
Sure.
HIGGINS:
Wonderful, wonderful.
Phenomenal work, Jackie.
I didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything.
I know why.
I know why. It's because
I'm afraid to take a chance.
Because I'm afraid
to take a chance.
[Sighs]
[Copy machine whirring]
I'm sitting on the sidelines
all my life.
Why am I so scared?
Always afraid to take a chance.
MAN SINGING: I'm layin' it
on the line to show you
I'll never let you go
On the line for your love
There's nothing I want more
Another dead-end street
Another love gone wrong
Another shattered dream
Always the same old song
I started thinkin'
that you'd never come along
I got all this love inside
That will show no words
tonight
I wish you knew what I've
been through to get to you
I'm layin' it on the line
this time
Just to be with you
No more, yeah, yeah
On the line to show you
Never gonna let you,
never gonna let you go
On the line for your love
There's nothing I want more
When you smile
I feel my heart open, yeah
I know there's nothing
that I would not do
I'm layin' it on the line
this time
Just to be with you
WOMAN: OK, I'll check.
WOMAN: Chicago Daily Post.
Can I help you?
Sure. OK.
[Video game beeping]
WOMAN: Chicago Daily Post.
May I help you?
Brady Frances's desk.
[Video game music playing]
Brady, my office.
This is your next story.
It's a compelling
human interest piece.
But, sir,
I want to do hard news.
Uh-huh. And I want
a clear nasal passage.
We can't always get
what we want.
[Snorts]
Uhh. You know...
I put you in personals because
most people are miserable...
and I think you can relate,
Brady.
The kid's name
is Kevin Gibbons.
-Kevin Gibbons?
-We checked it out.
Huh. I can't. I know him.
So?
Look, you don't understand.
I have a history with this guy.
[School bell rings]
Dude, I'm telling you...
you ask out a girl
like Kayla Sanders...
and you're setting yourself
up for rejection...
humiliation, alienation.
BRADY: Don't worry.
I've got determination.
Hey, Kayla.
Brady Frances.
We're in French class together.
I'm the one
that always gets nosebleeds.
Would you like to go
to the prom with me?
Hold on a second.
-Hey, Kevin.
-Hi.
Would you like to go
to the prom with me?
Sure. I'd love to.
Sorry.
I'm already going to the prom
with Kevin Gibbons.
[Softly] No.
Kevin Gibbons.
[School bell rings]
[Sighs]
Let me get this straight.
You harbor animosity
towards this Kevin...
because some girl
wanted to go to the prom...
with him instead of you?
Well--
Spellbinding pity,
but the story's still yours.
[Sighs] Yes, sir.
Hey, hey, and Brady...
Now get out of here
and don't mess this one up.
Jenna, yeah.
I changed my : lunch.
[Sighs]
It's payback time.
[Telephone rings]
Hey, dude,
you don't look so good.
-Really?
-Yeah.
[Ring]
Really.
You usually look better.
What, can you not hear
the phone?
-[Ring]
-Jaundice?
-Kind of. Kind of yellow.
-Where's the phone?
Is my Adam's apple
all pathetic?
Hello?
WOMAN: Hello, Kevin, it's me,
the girl from the "L" Train.
It's you. Wow.
I didn't think you'd call.
-Of course I called.
-How are you?
That's the chick
from the train.
BOTH: ls that the chick
from the train?
Dude, is that the chick
from the--
[Whispering]
Shut up.
Oh, yeah, it's got to be.
So, uh, can we meet up?
Chugga, chugga, choo, choo.
How about Goody's diner?
BOTH: Choo, choo!
: ?
All right.
BOTH:
Chugga, chugga, choo, choo!
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
BOTH: Yeah! Ow! Whoo!
WOMAN SINGING: This is my one
chance to be a rock star
Come on and call me
This is my image,
these are my dances
[Exhales]
ABBEY: Hi.
[Classical music playing]
What?
No, no, no.
The sucker's going to split
in a matter of days.
Yeah. No.
Now is not the time to sell.
OK.
[Sighs] Work.
You know, you didn't have
to come up this weekend.
That's OK. Hey, come on.
It's my turn.
Besides, I got some work done
on the train.
[Sitar music playing]
I don't mean to be rude,
but why are you here?
When I saw your poster,
I just knew I had to meet you.
I could tell
that we would have...
a cosmic connection.
You sensed that from a poster?
Yes.
How's school?
Oh, hectic,
with finals next week.
Well, soon, you'll be
back home in Chicago...
we'll be together,
and you can relax.
Actually, I was thinking
I want to volunteer...
for the Field Museum
when I get back.
Abbey...
I appreciate, you know,
your fossil hobby, but--
Paul...
it's not just a hobby.
-You're a water sign.
-No.
[Jewelry jingles]
Oh. Uh-huh.
-Virgo.
-Uh-uh.
Oh. You see, Kevin...
astrology is actually
chock-full of--Shoot!
What?
Pork.
Get this away from me.
It's OK. It's OK.
Listen, pork happens.
-Don't patronize me.
-Excuse me?
What do you take me for,
some kind of freak?
You did call me out of the blue
from a poster.
Well, that's because
I thought we had a connection--
a cosmic connection, Kevin.
And I thought maybe you'd be
different, but you're not.
You're all the same--
all of you.
And I don't have to take this.
I'm from Oregon.
What are you looking at?
Ow! What did I do?
[Door closes]
PAUL: I'm going to have
to call you later, OK?
Yeah.
[Sighs]
So, where were we?
-We were talking about us.
-We were?
-No, but I think we should.
-Well, Abbey--
Paul, the only time
you got excited today...
is when your phone rang.
I'm beginning to feel
like three's a crowd.
Well, I think I've got a way
of making it up to you.
What's that I see?
Yes, we have a smile.
Ha!
AI Green at the Opera House?
Just you and me. We're going
to have a great time.
[Cell phone rings,
cash register rings]
Yeah?
[Breaks wind]
ERIC: Oh, man.
You wash your grimy butt...
in my tub again, you're
going to have to pay rent.
Well, excuse me.
I mean, I got to frickin'
take a shower.
Mine's busted at my apartment,
and I got a gig tonight...
so I don't want to smell
like B.O.
That's why that record contract
has remained so elusive.
-Oh, yeah?
-Oh, nice shot.
-You're a philistine.
-[Breaks wind]
You're a flatulent philistine.
ERIC:
Get out ofhere, man.
Mick! Mick! Mick! Mick!
Mick! Mick! Mick! Mick!
Welcome back to TRL, you guys.
Times Square, New York City
is off the hook...
because this man
has entered the studio.
-Hey, Rod.
-Yeah.
-Your hero's on TV.
-No way!
HOST:
I have great news for you.
You have made TRL history.
The video for Every Cloud
has a Silver Lining--
twenty-six straight weeks
at number one.
You broke your own record,
dude.
You broke your own record!
That has to feel amazing.
How does it feel?
You know,
the Mick won the record...
but the Mick lost the record
at the same time.
So unfortunately, there has
to be a winner and loser.
In this case, the Mick is both,
so the Mick feels conflicted.
HOST:
Either way it goes, you win.
Dude, I can't believe this guy.
What is wrong with
the music industry today, huh?
I graduated from the school
of hard knocks, you know...
but that's what keeps
the Mick so grounded.
He is not about the love.
He's not about the passion.
Dude, I'm about the love.
-And the passion.
-And the odor.
Man!
But the Mick's
going to show his mad love...
for Chi-town later this week.
HOST: Oh, he's going home.
He's going home!
That's right.
Give it up for Mick on TRL!
-Hey, at least he has a degree.
-Uhh! This guy's a tool.
I am--I am--I am...
[Telephone rings]
I got it.
[Ring]
Yo, it's the "E" to the "R"
to the "I" to the "C"...
In the place to be.
That's me. What--what?
Brady freakin' Frances?
-Brady Frances?
-From the paper?
Yo, what up, kid?
Oh, man, I'm chillin'--
just coolin' as the other side
of the pillow...
you know what I'm saying?
BRADY:
Uh, I don't get it.
No, like when you wake up
late at night, and you--
Forget it, dude.
What you want? For real?
Yeah, yeah, man.
Hang on a second.
Yo, he wants to interview you
for the paper.
He got one of those posters...
and he wants to talk about
the girl from the train.
[Laughs] No way.
Way. Just chill for a second.
Think about this.
If you get your name in print,
and people start seeing you...
as some guy
who's going to take a risk...
you're not going
to be known...
as the guy who can't
seal the deal anymore, right?
I'm not doing an interview.
Kev, come on. I think it would
be a great PR move for you.
It'll help you find her.
-OK.
-Cool.
WOMAN SINGING:
Ah, shadoobie
Ah, ah, shadoobie
Doo wah, shadoobie
Ah, ah, shadoobie, doobie
Hold me up,
that's where I fell
Found myself dreamin'
ofyour face
Your face, your face,
your face
Took a lot ofplans to take
Somehow ended up at your place
Your place, your place
[Women giggle]
And have I been, tell me
Tell me
What can I do to help me,
help me
Do you see what I see
Ah, ah, shadoobie
Doo wah, shadoobie
Ah, ah, shadoobie, doobie
Do you see what I see?
Ah, ah, shadoobie
Doo wah, shadoobie
Ah, ah, shadoobie
[Kisses]
Way to go, Romeo.
[Nathan laughs]
[Laughs] Hi, Kevin.
[Nathan laughing]
HIGGINS: Ha ha ha ha!
[Laughing]
Gibbons. Oh ho ho!
Oh, Gibbons...
why don't you just offer
a reward?
Like with a lost puppy?
Ha ha ha! Oh!
Oh, son, it's so sad.
You've gotten it
all bass-ackwards.
Look, first
you get the power...
then you get the money...
and then you buy the love.
Oh. Gibbons, please.
Don't be a dummy.
[Phone beeps]
WOMAN:
Reebok's on the line.
Could you ask them to hold,
please?
Focus on the job at hand.
Money makes the world
go around...
and anyone that tells you that
money is the root of all evil--
WOMAN:
Doesn't have any.
Hello?
WOMAN: Are you talking to
the young man from the train?
Yes.
WOMAN: We'd like him
to head up the creative team.
-Really?
-Really?
WOMAN: Reebok can use people
with his kind ofpassion.
Gibbons, ignore everything
I've ever told you.
ANNOUNCER: Now batting,
second baseman Eric Young.
ERIC: Straight from the oven
ofyour mama's house.
-I'll take a bag.
-There you go, fella.
Yo, what's up, fellas?
What's up? Man,
No-Action Jackson over here...
keeps talking about
the girl from the train.
Man, are you serious? Would you
cut it out already, dude?
You're like the poster boy for
the romantically challenged.
Hey, yo, this guy needs a date.
Hey, anybody read
the newspaper today?
This is the guy
from the train...
who put up that poster
trying to find that girl.
-Would you shut up?
-Oh, that's so romantic.
-I have a daughter.
-Oh, yeah? Does she eat meat?
ANNOUNCER: Now batting...
I don't know
why I tell you guys anything.
ANNOUNCER: Fred McGriff.
Listen,
I don't even understand this.
I mean, it's like
maybe you thought her up...
in your mind
or some stuff like that.
It's like you think
she's, like, Julia Roberts...
but in reality,
she's like Dr. Ruth.
As usual, Rod,
I have no clue what you mean.
Hey, you really think
this babe is going to call you?
I don't know. I just wish
I knew where she was.
ANNOUNCER: The Cubs have had
opportunities to score...
in as many at-bats today.
And Telemachojumps ahead
ofhim two quick strikes.
Ha ha! Now, I can't believe
Brady hooked you up...
with that article
in the paper...
considering you dissed
and dismissed his ass...
back in high school.
Don't you have some work to do?
ANNOUNCER: And here's
Sammy Sosa in the fourth.
Sammy hit into a - -
inning-ending double play...
in the first.
The Cubs have had
opportunities to score...
Oh! Oh!
-Ho ho!
-Ooh, that's got to hurt.
PLAYER: I can't believe
he's hit that guy three times.
Damn! That's the third time
this season I hit this guy.
ANNOUNCER: Sammy launched one
Sunday, you'll recall.
Todd Hundley's
waiting on deck.
He got the ball!
It him in the--
BRADY: What?
WOMAN: You want nuts
in your noodles?
Yeah, sure, whatever.
[Sighs]
Hmm.
You think she'll call him?
-Ha! You think I care?
-You should care.
You're writing
the follow-up article on him.
I hope she does call.
He seems sweet.
Kevin Gibbons is a gimp.
He's making
a complete idiot of himself.
I mean,
I can't even believe...
people are taking
the article seriously.
What do you have
against this guy?
Nothing. I just don't see
what the big deal is.
Well, he took a chance.
He went for something.
I think--I think women
like that. It's romantic.
N'SYNC SINGING:
That girl will never be mine
Oh
That girl
VOICE MAIL:
You have forty-seven messages.
N'SYNC: Oh, first time
I saw her at the front door
That girl, the face
on every billboard
Hands down,
you won't believe the way
She laid her eyes on me
Six feet,
I spot her from the catwalk
So fly,
we got into a small talk
Too bad she had to move along
[Growls]
One smile, and she was gone
I can't explain
I never thought
that I was gonna lose my head
Call me insane
There's got to be a way
How can I get next to her
Now tell me
how it's gonna be done
Will I win or lose this one
Don't care about the fact
That she's
in a different league
They say it's no use
That I try
That girl will never be mine
Last night,
I ran into her briefly
Guess what,
she really wanna see me
They said
that I was out ofline
Who's wrong,
who's right this time?
Can't explain
I never thought
that I was gonna lose my head
Call me insane
There's got to be a way
How can I get next to her
They say it's no use
That I try
No, no, no
They say it's no use
that I try
[Telephone ringing]
That girl will never be
Mine
What the heck
did you do that for?
That's for using my towel
the other day.
Yeah? Well, I also
wore your underwear.
-[Clank]
-Yeah!
I got it! I got it!
I got it! I got it!
I got it...
[Ball thuds]
Oh, my gosh, dude.
What is this?
-It's a hot dog.
-Thanks, man.
No problem.
-Sure it's done?
-Safe!
So, Kev,
I bet you're wondering why...
we asked you out
to play barbecue ball...
this fine, cold day in Chicago.
-'Cause I brought the food?
-No!
Well, yeah, kind of,
but also because...
I came up with
this really brilliant idea.
Actually, it's more like
a proposition for you.
Why am I afraid to hear this?
I don't know. Me and the guys
were just thinking that...
you could do all these babes,
like, a big, huge favor...
and let us take them out.
And how is that possibly
a good idea?
First off...
there are just way too many
calls for you to handle solo...
and secondly...
Rod?
What was number two?
Oh!
We screen the girls...
and we help you find
"the girl."
-Yes!
-Yeah.
And if, perchance, you know...
we were to make
some kind of connection...
with one
of these fine young ladies...
well, so much the better.
Yeah! We all win big.
Wienie.
-Cha-ching.
-That's not a bad idea.
I can't believe
I didn't think of that.
Rod, yeah!
I told you he'd go for it.
I was actually surprised
you didn't think of it, too.
-I gave you a couple days.
-Absolutely not, guys.
Game's over. See you later.
Um...l say he's coming around.
That went pretty well.
FKR.
Gibbons!
-Uh, Mr. Higgins.
-Ahh.
-Listen, I'm not quite--
-You don't go ginkgo, do you?
-Ginko?
-Biloba, Gibbons.
You lack
an abundance of energy.
There's a certain overall
malaise about you, Gibbons.
I just think that a smoothie
with a shot of ginkgo in it...
would remedy that.
Well...l prefer coffee.
Well, it's your colon, Gibbons.
I hate to bring this up...
but Jackie tells me
you're not pulling your weight.
Wha--
Look, this proposal
is due in three days...
and I can't have you
half-hearting it.
-We'll have it done, sir.
-Good!
-[Telephone rings]
-Excuse me.
Kevin Gibbons.
How can I help you?
What up, kid?
Yo, look, brother, I am
begging you to reconsider.
No. I'm gonna have
to call you back, OK?
Come on, Kev.
Help us help you!
Man, would you stop being
so selfish for a sec...
and think about the team here?
Gibbons, this campaign
is very important to us.
Your job depends on it.
Do we understand each other?
-All you gotta do is say yes!
-Yes. Yes.
Dude, are--are you sure
that's cool?
-Are you sure?
-Positive.
Yes!
Good.
[Sighs]
Ooh hoo hoo!
[Dial tone]
Hello? Hello?
Yeah! We're gonna get
some dates! We're gonna get...
ANNOUNCER: Let's have a round
of applause for Mr. AI Green!
[Applause and cheering]
[Music playing]
Started to write this song
about you
And then I decided
That I would write it
All about love
Then it appeared to me
That you wasn't happy
Oh, that's for sure
Positively
That's what the world
is made of
So give me more l-o-v-e,
love
Love is a walk
down Main Street
CHORUS: Oh, love
AL GREEN: Love is an apple,
honey, so sweet
Dude, I can't believe
you scored such great seats.
Dude, I can't believe
how many hotties dig AI Green.
It's strange to me
Maybe time
will bring us together
And I can be
such a happy fella
[New song]
...you put me through
You stole my money
and my cigarettes
And I ain't seen
hide nor hair ofyou yet
I want to know
Tell me
'Cause I'd love to stay
Oh oh oh
Take me to the river
Wash me down
Won't you cleanse my soul
Where you going?
Ha ha.
Oh. Sorry. Wrong person.
AL GREEN:
Come on, somebody!
I don't know
why you treat me so bad
How about all the things
that we could have had
Love is a notion
that I can't forget
My sweet sixteen
I will never forget
I want to know,
won't you tell me?
ABBEY:
Hello? Can you hear me?
AL GREEN: Love,
yes, you are, yes you are
Hey, Abbey, it's Paul.
Hey, where are you?
The show's already started.
PAUL: I know I'm supposed
to meet you right now...
but I'm caught up
in a meeting. I can't leave.
No! I was just really
looking forward to this.
PAUL:
I'm really, really sorry, OK?
I want you to enjoy yourself.
I want you
to have a good time.
Have a great meeting.
PAUL: I've got to go.
I'll see you later, yeah?
-OK.
-OK, bye.
Bye.
AL GREEN:
Put my feet on the ground
Get mejust above you
Take me to the river
[Cheering]
BOUNCER:
Can I see your tickets, please?
Oh, tickets?
Yeah, I got tickets, man.
You're very wonderful.
I was reading today
in the newspaper...
about a young man
who found someone on a train.
You're kidding me.
I got 'em.
What do they look like?
I knew this was
too good to be true.
AL: ...that they may
find Love and Happiness...
wherever it is.
I got 'em. Oh, man!
[Music playing]
ERIC:
Hey, let go of the threads!
Hey, don't make me
get rough with you!
Didn't we go to school
together?
[AI Green singing]
ABBEY: Hi.
I--I didn't think
I'd ever see you again.
I've been kicking myself
for not asking your name.
I was hoping you'd say that.
My name is...
CONDUCTOR: Adams Street.
-What?
-It's...
CONDUCTOR: Next stop, Madison.
I'm sorry. I didn't hear it.
What was your name?
[Train honks]
[Cell phone rings]
Saturday at : ? You got it!
ERIC: They got vegetables,
they got everything.
Yeah, sure. That depends.
What do you like?
I know this absolutely
exquisite trattoria.
What's your favorite kind
of food?
I need Saturday, : stat!
I've got a : and a : .
I could do it at : !
-Good!
-Give me an : on Saturday--
KEVIN: Hello?!
Give me something good.
This girl is special to me.
What the heck is going on here?
Oh, man, we got this down--
phone, reservation, scheduling.
Check it out.
It is all good!
ROD:
You don't even want to know!
I got the Twins for you
at Oak Park at : !
It's gonna be great!
That will be perfect.
I'll pick you up at eight-ish.
-[Phone rings]
-Hello?
-This cannot be happening.
-Done! Thank you.
What is your problem, man?
You gave us the green light.
What? Green light?
What are you talking about?
You said yes on the phone
the other day, remember?
When?
We could stand here all night
and play "he said, he said."
-Shh! Shh!
-[Record scratches]
Yes? Oui, madame.
Vous etes francaise?
Yeah, yeah,
he's got a french girl!
[Sheep baas]
OK, think of something French.
ROD: Le pou-pou de mama?
Uh...yeah, sure.
-Eric! Line one.
-Yo!
Patch it through now.
Go.
Hello, this is Kevin.
-Hello?
-Hello?
Hello? [Beep]
That sounded like a dude.
-That was strange.
-What?
Why are you reading this?
I don't know.
I thought you'd appreciate
that I'm into your articles.
Look at this.
All these pathetic women
want to meet this guy.
People are lonely.
[Kiss]
Anyway, I think the notion
of someone finding true love...
is--is beautiful!
And I hope she calls him.
What is your obsession
with this guy?
[Sighs]
I'm obsessed?
Well, you do understand...
that the whole notion of love
is merely a myth.
It was invented by corporations
to turn a profit.
-Love doesn't exist.
-That's romantic.
-Romance doesn't exist.
-I feel sorry for you.
What, you think he's romantic?
That loser's just putting up
posters to meet more girls.
-You're just jealous!
-[Door slams]
If you like him so much,
why don't you call him?
Sweetie?
[Cell phone rings]
Yo, who dis?
Kevin?
Uh-huh.
That's my name.
Ask me again,
I'm gonna tell you the same.
Hi, it's me--
the girl from the train.
Hey, what up?
So, you know,
when we hookin' up?
Uh, tomorrow night, I'm free.
Tomorrow? Sunday?
Um, yeah, cool.
How's Cafe de Love?
- : ?
-Yeah. That sounds good.
Yeah.
I'll be there with bells on.
[Hangs up]
[Squirt]
[Squirt, squirt]
[Squirt, squirt, squirt]
[Gags and coughs]
[Clears throat]
[Coughs]
[Sniffs]
[Squirt, squirt]
-[Squirt] Oh!
-[Thud]
Well, being that
I'm a pop star, you know...
it's easy to find guys.
It's just not easy
finding the right guys...
so when I saw your poster,
I knew you'd be different...
you know?
Not the player type.
Has anybody ever told you...
that you have the face
of a de Kooning woman?
I'm pierced in different
places on my body.
ERIC: Enough of this talk,
all right?
You and me take a walk.
Yeah.
Like tonight, we'll head back
to your pad...
where we can get glad.
[Groaning]
Ow!
Wuss.
Mommy.
Ah! You stole my poster!
Hi, Kevin.
Brandi, she's sweet as candy!
Yeah, you the finest sista.
Can I kiss ya?
Fool!
That's the last time...
She's into me.
Hi. I'm Julie.
Hi. I'm...Kevin.
[Sniffs]
Uh--Oh!
Oh, yeah, baby!
Oh, come on, come to Papa.
Come on, come here.
That's it.
Yeah, I won't bite.
I promise.
That's it. Come here.
Cheers, baby. I'm Kevin.
No, you're not.
Are you saying
I'm not who I say I am?
Yeah. That's exactly
what I'm saying.
Hey, what's the problem?
I knew you sounded different
on the phone.
Hey, wait a second.
Come back here. Come on.
If you don't like this place,
we can go somewhere else.
Hey, come on! You should
at least try an appetizer!
Look, I'm not him,
you're not her.
What difference does it make?
Come on!
Look,
I don't know who you are...
but if you don't leave me alone
I'll call the cops.
Hey, honey, come here.
What part of
"I'll call the cops"...
didn't you understand?
Like the whole thing.
You're her.
You're the one from the train.
Yeah, you are fine!
Um, uh, Washington,
Lincoln, Donny Reagan...
Martin Sheen,
Mr. Miyagi, Billy Joel...
I'm a friend of Kevin's.
Does he know you're doing this?
Yes. You wouldn't believe
how many ladies have called.
We could start
a booming business!
Wait a second.
That's not a bad idea.
Like--Aw!
Yeah, OK, fine. So, then,
I'll just call you later?
[Snoring]
[Slam]
Uhh!
[Keys jingle]
So?
I don't think it was him.
What do you mean?
I think his friends
are answering the calls...
and taking the girls out.
Yes! I knew it!
Now I can expose him
for the fraud he is!
Heh heh! Kevin Gibbons.
His butt is mine!
[Sighs]
You know what I mean.
[Clack]
What the heck happened to you?
[Giggles]
[Sighs]
MAN SINGING:
Hey, baby, hey, baby
Yeah, baby, yeah, baby
Hey, baby, hey, baby
-Yeah, baby
-Yeah, baby, yeah
Good morning, Margie.
MAN SINGING: Baby, baby, baby
baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Gibbons,
we need to have a little talk.
Mr. Higgins, the proposal,
it's coming along great.
Oh, yes, about that.
Please.
How can I put this delicately?
Reebok wants you
off the campaign.
What?
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Apparently they read...
that last article about you
in the paper...
you know, about how
you said you wanted to find...
the one girl
so that you could date...
every desperate woman
in the Windy City...
which I think was masterful--
masterful, Gibbons.
But Reebok,
they got cold feet...
no pun intended.
How can an article have
anything to do with my work?
Ah! Well, Gibbons,
clients are funny that way.
They said they didn't want
someone on their team...
who would say one thing
and do another.
It's an image thing for them.
But I don't understand.
Gibbons, I'm sick about this,
but my hands are tied.
Sorry.
Hey, there, Kev.
[Giggles]
You might want to start
practicing with the mail cart.
[Giggles]
So, I take it
it was a fruitful evening?
ERIC: Oh, yeah, dude.
Those little birdies
didn't stand a chance.
I was like,
bam, bam, bam-bam-bam!
Ha ha! [Blows]
You know what I'm sayin'?
How 'bout you?
Well, let's
just say that, uh...
my action cup runneth over.
Ha ha! Action cup!
That's a metaphor, right?
RANDY: Yeah.
ERIC: Ha ha!
That's a good one.
-Oh!
-Hey!
-Good morning.
-How you doing?
Why so crestfallen, young man?
I don't want to talk about it.
At this table,
we kiss and we tell.
Yeah, and then we tell
some more, so come on!
I think I injured my date.
Ha ha! Come on, dude!
Don't be so cocky!
No, I'm serious.
She's jacked up.
-What is she, a car?
-Isn't that a good thing, dude?
No.
-So, what--what's up?
-Yeah?
All right,
I'll tell you what happened.
We're on a date...
-met her at the bar...
-Nice.
Brought her to my apartment.
And all of a sudden
she points to me...
and she says to me,
"I want to hear you play...
one of the songs
that you wrote."
-Ha ha ha!
-Yeah!
So I thought that was
friggin' great, right?
So I was like, "Sure!"
So there I am.
So I startjammin'.
I'mjammin'.
I'm singin', I'm goin',
I'm groovin', I'm rockin'...
I'm rollin'. I'mjust goin'
absolutely crazy.
You know that signature move
when I kick that amp?
RANDY: Oh, yeah!
That's when it happened.
-Yes!
-Yes!
-What?
-What?
[Playing music]
[Thwack]
ERIC:
Dude, you broke her nose?
-[Crash]
-And her ankle.
-Ha ha ha!
-Ha ha ha!
Yo, she got rocked!
But it's not funny.
Um, so, guys...
have we decided
what we're gonna do...
um, you know, if the real girl
actually calls?
Well, if she hasn't
called by now--
And obviously,
if she does happen to call...
the right thing to do is
close up shop, end of story.
Anything else
would be unconscionable.
I saw her last night.
[Chokes]
-What?
-She was my : .
Have you told Kevin about this?
-Not yet.
-Well, you need to tell him!
Well, yeah, but
what about our operation, man?
I mean...
All right. Fine.
-Today!
-Fine!
Dang it! ldiotic machine!
I swear I will unplug you and
throw you down all flights...
of these stairs
in this building.
-Problems?
-No!
I just have
our biggest clients waiting...
and the machine's
taking a coffee break.
-Where's Nathan?
-Who cares?
I have two minutes
before the Reebok meeting...
and if I don't get
these copies made...
my whole proposal
turns to crud.
OK. All right. I can do this.
Hold on. Let me take a look.
I don't have time for this,
Kevin.
Come on, Lucille.
Don't die on me now.
Listen,
Daddy knows you're tired...
but Daddy knows you got
a few more left in you.
Yes, you do! Yes, you do!
What are you doing?
ls this gonna work?
Sometimes, but if it doesn't...
-[Kick]
-[Machine starts]
[Knocks twice]
Give her a little love tap.
[Sirens and traffic]
[Talking]
Hey!
Hello? It's me!
Hey!
-You what?
-I saw her.
Where? When?
I mean, you did?
-Yep.
-Well, what happened?
She blew me off.
Oh, man! That is bad!
You know, it doesn't
surprise me, though.
After all the articles
in the paper...
but the thing
I don't understand--
why didn't she call
in the first place?
Kev...
she did call.
What?
Yeah. Um...
we sort of went out on a date.
KEVIN: Wait a minute.
She called, you took her out...
and you didn't tell me?
Well, l--No, I just did.
Whoa, man!
Hey, it's not like I tried...
to kiss her or anything.
Kev, come on!
-Let's talk about thi--
-Uhh!
Ow! Uhh!
Oh! Uhh! Aw!
Kevin, come back here, man!
We're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it
anymore
-You guys--
-What?
Take five.
MUSICIAN: Come on, dude.
SECOND MUSICIAN: I thought
it sounded all right.
THIRD MUSICIAN: I think
it sounded pretty good.
Listen, Kev, what
we did was inconsiderate...
selfish, stupid, classless.
I mean--
you can stop me anytime.
I mean--
Keep goin'.
I guess we just acted
like jackasses, man.
Just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I appreciate the apology...
but the damage
is already done, so...
Do you know why I wanted
to become a musician?
Hmm. Girls, money, fame.
No. The music, man.
It's the music.
I mean, when I'm
up there on that stage...
everything is just right
and the world's perfect...
until they start booing me.
You never know who might
listen to your song...
and actually like it.
I guess me dreaming...
and thinking about
writing my songs...
it's kind of like that girl...
that you met on the train,
you know?
You know, you want
something so bad it hurts.
I just admire
your passion, Kev.
You inspired me
to write this...
and, uh...
I figure if you could
put yourself on the line...
to find that girl,
I can do the same.
Write my original song.
Good luck with that.
Cool.
N'SYNC: And I pray
you're falling, too
I've been falling, falling
Girl, I'm falling for you
And I pray you're falling, too
I've been falling, falling
Ever since the moment
I laid eyes on you
Can't you see?
Can't you see
That I'm falling, falling?
Girl, I'm falling for you
And I pray you're falling, too
Yeah, yeah
Falling, falling
Ever since the moment
I laid eyes on you
Ooh
I'm falling
[Sighs] Well, we really screwed
this one up, huh, fellas?
We? What do you mean, we?
It was your idea.
Hey, come on!
I didn't force you...
to go on
any of those dates, OK?
Yo, listen. Kevin said
that it wasn't a good idea.
[Both argue]
Gentlemen, please.
Guys, come on. Listen to us.
This is stupid.
We're being petty.
We have to step back,
and we have to look...
at the bigger picture here,
all right?
We all messed Kevin over.
All right. There's
a bit of truth in that...
but you know what? Now we
gotta make things right, right?
-Yeah.
-Exactly.
Good!
How are we gonna do that?
I got an idea.
[Crash]
Whoa!
Look. I'm gonna
start right here...
and jump, zip, lock,
I'm gonna ride this.
Now, Randy, I want you
to start right around the loop.
[Indistinct talking]
People, we're looking
for the real "L" train girl.
RANDY: Yeah, she's the one.
Here you go.
Wanted--we're looking
for the real train girl.
Have you seen this--
anybody seen this girl?
She's real cute, and, uh...
you seen this girl?
Take that. Thank you.
Take a--take a flier.
Here you go.
Has anybody seen this girl?
MAN SINGING:
Every time I look around
But everywhere you are
A little short. She's got
pretty hair, beautiful eyes.
Hello. Here you go.
Beautiful hair, pretty eyes
Do you know her?
Have you seen this girl?
I'm trying to find her.
Have you seen this girl?
Anybody seen this girl?
Has anybody seen this woman?
Hello, we need some help here.
This is really important.
We're looking
for this girl, OK?
Hey! Hey, we need your help,
people!
Hey, has any one of you
ever been in love? Huh?
Has anyone ever met someone
they thought was their destiny?
Well, my friend
Kevin Gibbons did.
I wasn't there for him then,
but I am here now.
Me and my friends, you know,
we took advantage of Kevin...
and his situation.
-He didn't even know it.
-Yeah.
We went behind his back.
We messed him over.
So come on, people...
take a look at this flier,
please.
ERIC: And I leave you
with this.
Love may not make
the world go 'round...
but it's what makes
the ride worthwhile.
MAN SINGING:
But anywhere you are
I'll be under you
Every time I look around
I need you now
Every time I look around
I need you now
Every time I look around
But anywhere you are
I'll be under you
Hey, Margie,
have you seen Nathan?
Didn't you hear?
He had a heart attack
last night...
right after the Cubbies lost.
Hi, um, I'm looking
for a patient.
-His name is--
-[Crash]
NATHAN: lfyou think
this food tastes so good...
then you eat it!
Uh, never mind.
So, Eric Young doubles
for an RBl...
in the top of the ninth.
Bottom of the ninth,
Wood "K"s the side.
Set 'em up, sit 'em down.
You know,
this isn't the first time...
my Cubbies
have put me through this.
Ulcer during the ' playoffs.
Hypertension
when they lost in ' .
And you should have seen the way
my hemorrhoids flared up...
when they went down in ' .
But that team
also gives me a reason to live.
So, did it ever work out
between you...
and that nice girl
from the train?
I wanted it to, but I don't
think it's gonna happen.
August .
My beloved Cubs...
were down by nine runs
to the Astros in the sixth...
but did they give up?
No, sir.
They fought tooth and nail,
and they won in extra innings.
I'll never give up
on my Cubbies.
Maybe you shouldn't give up
on that girl, either.
So...
you gonna tell me
what that's all about?
Ernie Banks's dinger.
Caught it the day I met my wife.
I want you to have it.
Thanks, Nathan.
Now, you're not gonna
kiss me, are ya?
Heh!
Go ahead.
Go find that girl.
JACKIE: Reebok signed off
on the account.
That's great.
And I finally got promoted
to senior exec.
Congratulations.
Look, Kevin,
I know I'm a hard case...
but you're just gonna
have to deal with it...
when you design the account.
I'm back on the account?
Reebok needs
your talent and passion...
especially after I told them
that it was your idea.
I knew there was a soft side
in there somewhere.
Maybe, but this is strictly
a business decision.
Sure. I understand.
That's a final copy of the ad.
You may want to take a look
at it before it goes up.
It's gonna be billboards
all over the city.
Oh, I hope that you find that
girl you've been looking for.
KEVIN: Jackie...
thanks.
Yeah.
MAN SINGING:
You and I go way up high
In the dark
Tell me where the light's
gonna come from now
Is it you? Was it me?
Fallen, out ofhope,
a tight rope
After all, baby,
you should know
Not to beat the ground
All that talk's but a fog
Falling
Love is a high-wire act
We've got to get
Our balance back
RADIO ANNOUNCER: This is WBFP,
playing all the biggest hits.
Good morning, Chicago.
Hey, for all you
helpless romantics out there...
there's a new twist
on that train story...
we've all been reading about.
Turns out...
MAN SINGING:
We've already lost our way
The memory ofyesterday
We're still strong enough
to light the way
Don't look down
We can rebound
Whatever may lie ahead
Keep your eyes on me now
Still strong enough
to light the way
Don't look down
We can rebound
KEVIN: Hey, guys.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-How you feeling? Good?
-You're looking good.
-You know what? I feel good.
-And you look good.
Listen, do you want
a little piece of advice?
This time, when she shows,
do us all a favor...
and get her name and number.
All right.
I'll remember that.
You better hurry up, you know.
It's almost time.
You know what, guys?
I'm gonna have to do this one
on my own.
Whoa! Are you sure
you don't want...
the team there
for moral support?
No, thanks.
Well...
better go.
All right.
Wait, wait. Open.
[Spritzing]
Never know, man.
[Pats back]
All right, guys.
Do another set?
You know,
sometimes you just gotta...
Iet 'em go
and hope you raised 'em well.
Yeah.
WOMAN REPORTER:
It's the most romantic story...
to hit Chicago in years.
A young man putting up
posters and billboards...
all over town in an effort to
find the girl ofhis dreams.
In fact,
can you turn the camera?
There's one right there
behind my shoulder.
MALE REPORTER: We're here
at the "L" train platform...
at Wabash and Adams.
There'sjust about
fifteen minutes to go...
and then Kevin Gibbons...
[All chattering]
[Cameras clicking]
MAN: Some may call him crazy,
others, a hopeless romantic...
WOMAN:
...waiting to see the outcome.
The big question
on everybody's mind is...
will she or will she not show?
[Crowd shouting encouragement]
[Door opens]
[Jingling]
ROD: It's the Mick!
Mick Silver!
Hey, the Mick!
Oh, my gosh! The Mick!
It's really you!
Gosh, I can't believe it!
Dude, I seen you on TV.
I mean, you are a legend!
You are great!
What are you doing here?
[Snaps]
The Mick received
this demo tape in the mail.
From who?
From a man
who shall remain nameless.
Kevin.
Hey, the Mick
digs your sounds, man.
-Really?
-Hey, the Mick don't lie.
No, man, you never lie.
You always say the truth.
And when it is the truth,
it is the truth!
How would you like
to record your new stuff...
on the Mick's new label?
Would l?
Man, I can't believe it!
BODYGUARD:
Whoa! Easy, easy!
You're all about
the passion, man!
Oh, my God!
I can't believe Mick--
-Hi, Julie.
-Hi, Rod.
-How's the ankle?
-Oh, it's busted.
Oh, sorry.
Um, have you met the Mick?
Mick, Julie. Julie, Mick.
Julie, Mick.
Yeah. Well, Mick's all right,
but I'm more into you, Rod.
Really? Um...
how'd you like to hear
my new song?
-Yeah. I'd love to.
-Great. OK.
All right, this is...
[Sighs]
a song I wrote...
for a very good friend of mine.
[Music starts]
I get a feeling
I can't explain
Whenever your eyes meet mine
My heart spins in circles
And I lose all space and time
And now that
we're standing face-to-face
Something tells me
It's gonna be OK
And I'm ready
to fall in love tonight
I'm ready to hold
my heart open wide
I can't promise forever
But, baby, I'll try
I'm ready to fall
In love tonight
I know you've been watching
Choosing your moment
But I've been dreaming
of that day
No one before you
Has gotten to me this way
And now that
We're standing face-to-face
There's something
I need to say
That I'm ready
to fall in love tonight
I'm ready to hold
my heart open wide
I can't promise forever
But, baby, I'll try
'Cause I'm ready to fall...
REPORTER: Well, here we are
just after P.M...
and there is still no sign...
of the young lady
from the "L" train.
ROD SINGING:
Nothing is certain
This I know
Wherever we're headed
I'm ready to go
Ohhh
[Crowd cheering]
ROD SINGING:
I can't promise forever
But, baby, I'll try
'Cause I'm ready to fall
In love tonight
Yes, I'm ready to fall
In love tonight
Two questions--
What is your name?
And can I please have
your phone number?
Abbey, and I thought
you'd never ask.
ROD SINGING:
ln love tonight
In love tonight
[Cheering and whistling]
[Cheering]
ROD SINGING:
'Cause I'm ready to fall
In love tonight
In love tonight
Ahh, he's still a shmoe.
AL GREEN SINGING: I
Uh
I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is all right with me
'Cause you make me feel
So brand-new
I want to spend my life with--
[Record scratches]
MAN: We are here
with an exclusive look...
behind the scenes
of the movie On the Line.
-Check.
-N'Sync?
Yeah.
More like N'Stink.
-You can't say that.
-I did. I don't care.
Is the camera on?
The two of us right here, we
are very, very professional...
about everything we do.
Unlike some poop stars.
I mean, seriously,
Joey's one thing, but Lance...
I loved you from the minute
I saw you on the "L"?
That was very convincing.
I loved you from the moment
I saw you on the "L"?
-Where's the writer?
-Where's the writer?
Angelo, how many times
do I have to tell you...
I need height? I want
to see this from China!
-China--OK.
-Gimme that.
-I just--
-Did I say you could speak?
Ow! Oh oh oh!
Are you guys for real?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Angelo. What's up?
You guys are amazing!
You look like
a million dollars!
You look incredible.
Joey, I have two words for you.
You are this generation's
Marlon Brando.
And, Lance,
I have three words for you.
De-knee-row.
Know what I'm saying?
Just promise me
I can do your hair...
for the Academy of Awards,
please?
And I'll do makeup.
You two are the best.
I'll never forget this.
Really? Means a lot.
Yeah. Thanks.
AL GREEN SINGING: With you
Let me say that since, oh
Since we've been together
Lovin' you forever
Is what I need
Oh, let me be the one
You come running to
I'll never be untrue
Everybody sing
Let's
Let's stay together
Loving you whether
Whether
Times are good or bad,
happy or sad
That's right,
you heard the man
Mow come on,
let's stay together
You and me could be
tight forever and ever
Whether day or night
and whatever the weather
Let's live one life, girl,
never should we sever
You hold the power
to give him what he need
It's like every single flower
begins with a seed
Just give him what you got,
you know what I mean?
And ifnot,
I'll leave it up to AI Green
Let me be the one
You come running to
I promise I'll never be
Untrue
Everybody sing
Let's
Let's stay together
Loving you whether
Whether times are
good or bad, happy or sad
Sing let's
Whoo
Let's stay together
I can't stand it, no
Loving you whether
Whether
Times are good or bad,
happy or sad
Let me hear you
Let's
Let's stay together
Oh, I love you, baby
Loving you whether
Whether, aah
Times are good or bad
Happy or sad
I want you to sing with me
Let's
I want to tell everybody
All I want to do
Somebody help me now
Somebody help me now
Somebody help me now
Good or bad
Happy or sad
Coming down
Whooo
Ha ha ha!
[Cheering and clapping]
AL GREEN: Ha ha ha!