Orgazmo Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Orgazmo script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Trey Parker and Matt Stone movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Orgazmo. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Orgazmo Script






What makes a man?

Is it the power in his hands?



Is his quest for glory?



Give it all you've got

To fight to the top



So we can know your story



Now you're a man

A man, man, man



Now you're a man

A manny, manny, man



A man, man, man



You are now a man

You're a man



Now you're a man



Live it, live it



What makes a man?

Is it the woman in his arms?



Just 'cause she has big titties?



Or is it the way he fights every day?



... No, it's probably the titties



Now you're a man

A man, man, man



Now you're a man-man

Man-man, man, man-man



Now you're a man



M - A - N, man

Man, man-man, man



Now you're a man



Hello there.

My name is Robert White.



And I'm Joseph Young.



And we're with the Church

of Jesus Christ...



... of Latter-Day Saints.






Let me ask you a question.



What would you say if someone

offered you peace and happiness...



... through all of eternity?



Fuck off!



- Thank you!

- Have a nice day!



Oh... Yeah baby! You make me so horny!



Oh, I want it so bad! Ohhh...



I bet you do.

And I'm gonna give it to you.



Oh, good... 'cause I'm

so badly wanting it.






Thank you.






- ...Almost.

- Mhm.



Oh yeah, harder! Oh, yeh!

Oh, give it to me, you big stud!



I'm not a stud.






I'm not a stud!






... Jizzmaster Zero!



- Aagh! Oh no! Help! Somebody help!

- Ain't nobody gonna help you now, honey!



- Will somebody save me??






Unhand her, Jizzmaster Zero!



You can't defeat me, Orgazmo!



Oh yeah I can, too!



I'll use my Orgazmorator!



Oh, this feels good.



Now, I will kick your ass!



Hello ma'am.



My goodness, you have such an

attractive little garden here.



Why thank you, young man. I just planted

those flowers last week. My, how they grow!



Yes ma'am.



We're from the Church of Jesus

Christ of Latter-Day Saints.



Oh, the Mormons.



That's right. I'm... I'm Elder Young,

and this is Elder White.



- Well, you two boys can just fuck right off.

- Ma'am?



You heard me.

Take that Book of Mormom and shove it...



... so far up your righteous

asses that you choke,...



... you soul-soliciting pigfuckers!






Eat shit!



And you take this!



Ow! I jammed my finger! Ow!



- Cut!

- Ow! I jammed my finger!









Goddamnit, cut!



What the hell was that?!



What is your problem Zizinsky?



He blocked! He wasn't supposed to

block and he broke my finger!



You told me you knew how to fight.

Orgazmo's supposed to be a badass!



He shouldn't block me then!



Get back in there and look tough,

you fucking pansy!



I can't. My finger is broken.



You listen to me, you cocky prick!



If you ever wanna work in porno again,

you'll do exactly what I say!



Get back to work!



Hey, where are you and Lisa

gonna have the wedding?



Well, 'course Lisa wants to get married

in the Temple in Salt Lake City, but...



... it costs a lot of money.

I don't think I can afford it.



Yeah, I know what you mean.



I don't know why the Church makes it

so expensive to have a wedding there.



Hey, don't worry. If you really

want something to happen,...



... the heavenly Father will

probably make it happen.



- Yeah.

- Yeah.






- I'm Jizzmaster Zero!

- Oh no. Help.



No one's gonna help you now, honey!



Somebody save me.






Unhand her, Jizzmaster...



- What is that?

- The front door, stupid.



Cut! God-damnit!






Go see who that is and KILL them

for disrupting my shoot!!






- Hi. My name's Joseph Young.

- And I'm Robert White.



We're with the Church of Jesus Christ

of Latter-Day Saints.



- Okay. Hold on a second.

- Uh...



Uh, boss?



Some guys from... Jesus?



Cut off their balls!



- I've gotta cut your balls off now.

- Huh??






Hehey, we can take a hint. Uh... you're not

ready to change faiths right now. We respect that.



- Hah! Come here!

- Waitwaitwait, no!



Now this is how you kick somebody's ass.



That oughta teach those Moonies

to stay away from my house.



Please. I don't wanna hurt you.



You don't wanna hurt me, huh?



Guards! More guards!



Uh... Just let me get my buh,

my book and go.



Oh... Sorry.



You little pussy!



... Sorry... sorry.



Holly shit!



That was brilliant!



You're terrific, kid! What's your name?



Look, ah, ah... I didn't mean to hurt

these people, but they told...



Oh no no no, they had it comin'

to them, the rotten bastards!



Why were you trying to hurt this man?!



What is it that you wanted?






... ah, I'm from the Church of

Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints






And I wanna share my love

of Jesus with you.



Oh, why didn't you say so!

Come on in!



- Really?

- Come on!



I say unto you,

"Nay, they are many,...



...  yea, and we can witness

of their sincerity,...



... because of their love

towards their brethren, and...



and also, towards us."



So you see, Jesus Christ

spoke to prophets...



... right here in the ancient Americas.



- Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I dig that Jesus guy.

- You do?



Oh, sure, the kids love him.

Happy Tart?



Oh, thank you.



Listen, kid,...



Have you ever considered acting?



Me? Oh... Yeah. Actually,

I majored in theater at BYU.



Go on...



Yeah. Are are you making a movie here?



Yeah. And I want you to take over

as the leading man in my film.



Me?? Really? Well. Wow!



I still have another week of,

of mission work to do, but...



... well what kind of movie is it?



It's an action... adventure... porno.




Like as in porno-graphic?



Well yeah, but it's not like that.



Oh. Oh, I don't do those,

those kind of movies.



Look, kid. It's two days' work and

I'll give you five thousand dollars.



Hey, you were only giving me three hundred.



How's your finger, Chuchekchesh?



- I think it's better. I'm ready to go.

- Yeah?



That's certainly is a lot of money, but I'm afraid

it goes against my beliefs. Thank you, very...



Looook, kid. You got me all wrong.



This is not your average porno.



This is a very touching script.



It's a poignant story about

some very important issues.



About other people having... intercourse?



- Well, this is an adult film.

- Well see, I can't do that.



All right.

Make it seven thousand dollars.



It's very nice of you to offer

me so much money, but...



Ten thousand.



I can't.

See, I have a fiancée, and if she ever...



I got it! We use a stunt cock.



Any time there's actual penetration,

we'll bring in another penis.



We do it all the time. All you have to concern

yourself with is the crime-fighting, and the acting.



But see, I'd still be acting in a

pornographic movie. That's what I...



Twenty thousand dollars.



- 'Scuse me?

- Twenty thousand dollars. Are you crazy?!



Twenty thousand dollars

for two days' work?



And you don't even have to fuck.



I... I have to think about this.

Can I think about this?




We start first thing Monday morning.



Wait, I have to think about this.



Yeah. You start at ten o'clock.



I'm gonna think about this now.



I don't know. He doesn't seem much

like the porno type to me, boss.



That's why he's so perfect for Orgazmo.



He's so prissy, wholesome.



You watch. In a coupld of weeks,...



... I'll make that little momma's boy

the biggest porn star in the country.



- Hello?

- Hi, Lise.



- Hi, honey!

- How are things in Utah?



Well Utah isn't as nice

without you, that's for sure.



How are things there?



Oh, fine. I uh,...

I had an interesting day.



I got offered a part in a movie.



A movie?

Like... a Hollywood movie?



Yeah. And it, and it pays a lot.



Oh, Joe, that's wonderful!



Is it enough so that we can

get married in the Temple?



Lisa, it's twenty thousand dollars.



Oh, why you're the best, Joe.



Well, I don't know if

I'm gonna do it, Lise.



Mm, what? Well, why not?



Eh... there's some things in the movie

that are... against God's way, and I...



Joe, even if movies are a little...

crude now and then,...



... I think that the Lord understands that

you need money for your family's future.



Twenty thousand dollars would

get us off to a great start.



I know it would.



So what is it?

What are you acting in?



Oh... Uh, it's a... a... a....



"Death of a Salesman".



Oh! Let me guess who you're playing!

You're playing Biff, right?



Biff. Yeah.



Oh, Daddy's here to take me to choir

practice, Joe. Can I call you back later?



- Sure, sure.

- Jesus and I love you, Joe.



Jesus and I love you, too, Lise.



- Bye.

- Bye.



Heavenly Father, please show me the way.



I know it would be sinful to act in

a movie that had sexual activity, but...



... Lisa is so important to me,...



... and I need the money for our

wedding and for a place to live.



Please, just... give me a sign

if you don't want me to do it.



Any sign at all.



Where is that little fucking choir boy?!



I don't think he's gonna show up.



Oh, really? Rodgers!



You and pickle-dick here

go find that bastard!



And you tell him, if he

doesn't act in my film,...



... his parents, his friends,

his fuckin' PETS are gonna pay!



You tell him, if he fucks

with me he'll sss... well hellooo!






We were just talking about you.

How are you?



I'm... fine.



Super! Why don't you would get into

wardrobe and we'll get started right away.



Orbison, who am I fucking in this scene?



Uh, you'll be fucking Jeff and probably Ben...

Have you met our new Orgazmo?






- Hi, how you doing?

- Hi. Are we fucking?



...No. You'll be fucking his stunt cock.



And I'm not doing any ass-licking today.

I told you that, right?



Yes, yes. No ass-licking.



Okay. I am... not an ass-licker.



Give 'em an inch, they take a mile.



Oh m..., what was I thinking??



There you are. Get in here! Come on!



Just get in there and

put this on! Put it on!



- Okay, can I, uh...?

- Put it on now!






So you must be the new Orgazmo.



No. I... well maybe. My name's Joe.



Ben Chapleski. I play Choda Boy.



- What's a Choda Boy?

- I'm your sidekick.



- My sidekick? I have a sidekick?

- Yeah.



What do...?






Uh... I didn't know I had a sidekick.



He didn't even tell you the plot?



No, he didn't. He just said I'm a superhero.



Right. You're Orgazmo, and you

fight crime with your Orgazmorator.



And I'm your sidekick, and...



... I help you out with my...

specially designed sex toys.






I don't think I've seen you before.

Are you new in this business?



Oh. Yeah, this is my first time.

I'm actually a normal person.



Hey, we're all normal people, man.



Hell, I've got Ph.D.s for Physics

and Engineering from MIT.



MIT? In Boston?



Naw, it's in Cambridge, actually.



...But if you have two Ph.D.s,

why do you do these kind of movies?



See you on set, Choda Boy.



That's why.



See, I have what's called a...

an overactive sex drive.



Hey, just between you and me, I don't

get a whole lot of action from women.



They don't seem to take me very seriously.



You don't say...



Yeah, but I get plenty of action here.



And I love every minute of it.



But if you're such a scientific genius,...



... don't you think Heavenly Father has something...

more important planned for your life?












Stand back, Jizzmaster Zero!



You look good, man.

Let's make some porno.



Hey, man, you need to shave your balls?



What?? Why would I do that??



All men love to shave their balls, Joe.



Makes the ol' Johnson look bigger.



- Here, give it a shot.

- Wha... no, I'm not, I'm using a stunt thing.



Oh, kid! You look fucking fabu!



- I see you met Choda Boy.

- Yes.



Hey, that's not the only thing that changed.

I really beefed this script up.



Come on, people! Let's get shooting!



- Mister... Mister Orbison?

- Yeah.



You're not gonna put my name

anywhere in this movie, are you?



Oh, no, kid. You'll get a stage name.

Everybody does.



- Now, let's see. Joe Young, right?

- Right.



Young, Young, Tongue, Bung, Hung. Hung!



- Tom Hung! It's perfect! You like that?

- No.



Okay, people, let's go! Come on!

Set things up for me! Huh?



Okay, this is what we're doing.



One: Ah... Candi, Saffi, and Jizzmaster Zero,

we're getting busy on the bed.



How busy?



Um... both of you are doing oral on him, and then

Two: Orgazmo and Choda Boy break through the wall.



Three: They fight with Jizzmaster

Zero and his henchmen,...



... and Four: you all fuck like nasty pigs.

Got it?



Nasty pigs, got it.



Whoa, whoa, Mr. Orbison, you you said

I wouldn't have to have sex, remember?



You said we'd use a stunt... stunt...



Cock. A stunt cock. Yes, you get a

stunt cock, but only for penetration.



Penetration?? Who's gonna be penetrated?



Penetration is when the penis enters an orifice, Joe.



Penetration you don't do, but you do have

to get nasty with the ladies, that's the deal.



- Muh-

- Okay people, let's go! Lights on!



Lights are on. It's stable, Captain.

Woohoo! Let's see some fuckin' action!!



- Dave?

- Yeah?



- Calm down.

- Right. Sorry.



You get me some nice close-ups.

And you, give me a nice slow zoom,...



... starting with a medium

closeup on the cock,...



... and then widening out

to an establishing shot.






Roll cameras.






We're sucking.



Good. Sucking...



Oh my gosh, I don't know

if I can go through with this.



Oh, sure you can. Just do what I do.



That's some hot shit right there!

Check that out, man!






We're sucking. We're suck...



Yeah. Suck that cock!!



Damnit Dave! Keep your mouth shut!



Sorry, sorry dude, got a little excited.



Cue Orgazmo and Choda Boy!






And Choda Boy!



You can't defeat me, Orgazmo!



You can't defeat me, Orgazmo.



That's your line, Hung.



Hey! That's your line, Hung!



Yeah, yeah I can, too!

I'll use my Orgazmorator!



No, not that!

That feels good.



Nice shot!



They hurt our evil boss, Jizzmaster Zero!



Now you're gonna get some!



Need a hand?



That's "handy work".

Now lock him up, Choda Boy.



Are you okay, ladies?



We're fine, thanks to you, Orgazmo.



And Choda Boy.

Now it's time for us to repay you.



Yeah, come on, boys. Let's get it on.



Kiss her.



Not like that. This is supposed to be erotic.



Use your tongue, for Christ's sake!



How would Christ benefit from me

putting my tongue in someone's mouth?



Do you want your money or not, Hung?!



And cut. Stunt cock!



- Stunt cock!!!

- Stunt cock!



Hey, how are you doin'?



Hey, how are you doin'?



Hey, how are you doin'?



I can't believe I'm doing this.



- Hey. You know, you did a good job in there, man.

- Thank you.



- Did you ever see that movie, Clash of the Titans?

- Oh wait, the Greek mythology play. Yeah, I've seen it.



Yeah, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin',...



... but I think unicorns are kickass!



What's that?



Oh, uh, this is the Book of Mormon.

It's another testament of Jesus Christ.






Is it any good?



Okay, people, let's go.






"For the time is at hand that all men

shall reap a reward of their works."



Eheheh, see, when the Mormons arrived

in Missouri, they needed to find jobs.



But no one would hire them...



They should have done double anal.



Excuse me?



Ah, you get to be my age,

you gotta do double anal...



... or no one'll hire ya.



Right. Um, see, people wouldn't hire

the Mormons because of their beliefs.



Now, I'm the only one in town...



... who'll do double anal and double

vaginal at the same time.



You know, DVDA.

Well, it's how I still manage to get work.



I see, um... I don't I don't think

you quite understand what I'm...



I?? Don't understand?? Hey look, pal,...


            try havin' four dicks in ya at one time.



No thank you!



Hey lady!

We're ready for the DVDA shot!



Nice talkin' to ya, kid



Okay, let's do it!



C'mon boys, grease 'em up!



And action!



How's it goin' ace?

Oh! DVDA shot, huh?



- I think I'm gonna be sick.

- Yeah, she's good.



Hey, do you wanna get some sushi tonight?



So what do you think of your first

day of porno, Joe?






I'm a bad, bad Mormon.



Yo yo yo, what's up homies?



How's it going, G-Fresh?



Oh, jussst kickin' it.

You know what I'm saying, G.



Ohhh yeah.

G-Fresh in the motherfucking house.



Hey G-Fresh, I want you to meet Orgazmo.



I'm not Orgazmo!



I don't want anyone to know.



My name is Joe, Joe Young.

How do yo do?



Oh, jussst kickin' it. The dough prime

and the smooth out ourum bitches.



- You know what I'm saying.

- No...



How are you doin', G-Fresh?



You! Get your punk asses out of my sushi bar!



Oh, we'll get our punk asses outta your fish bar...

just as soon as you sign this little piece of paper.



I told you I ain't gonna sign!



I ain't gonna givin' up my place!



Who are these guys?



These are the Gs I've been

telling you about from next door.



They are trying to buy out my restaurant...



... so they can make their dance club bigger!



But, homie don't play that!



Why don't you guys get lost, huh?



Keep your mouth shut, Tiny Tim!



Hey, whoawhoawhoa, I...  ah... I think

we all need to calm down a little bit here.



Oh, gee, that man's right. We're real sorry.



We'll leave Mr. Fresh alone.



Oh, yeah. Please excuse the mix-up, please.



You'd better make up your mind real quick, Fresh,...



... because our boss isn't gonna

give you such a good deal next time.



Oh, shouldn't we call the police or something?



Joe, the police can't help.



Geez, where are you from?

Iowa or something?



- No, Utah.

- Oh... I'm sorry.



Yeah. Oh, Oh so good! So good!

Oh! Do you like it? Do you like it??



- Ring the bell! Ring the bell!

- Ring the bell! Ding ding dong...



- ... ding ding!

- ... ding ding! You...



... line?



"You guys got me so horny!".



Oh, yeah. You guys got me so horny!



Come on, Hung.

You gotta at least look like you're enjoying this.



Rub her breasts or something.



- Come on. Come on, Hung.

- Do I have to?



Don't worry, dude. They're not real.



Yeah, there you go, buddy! Get some!



We're onto you, Orgazmo!



Yeah. Your days of superherodom are over!



Not so fast, guys!



My Orgazmorator should take care of you!



Your turn, Choda Boy.






My blue harpoon thang should do the trick!



Looks like they're all tied up at the moment.



Bon soir!



That was... too easy.



Great job, guys.



Now, how about we go really nasty.






- Oh...

- Dude! She's dead!



I'm glad you could come over for dinner, Joe.



I'm really excited to show you

my laboratory where I design things.



I think you might find one thing

in particular very interesting.



Did you say something?



Nah, I was just thinkin'.



Come on in.



Goodness gee. Is this all yours?



Yeah. Bought and paid for,...



... with all the patents I have.



See, when I'm not doin' the flicks, I invent stuff.



I'm makin' some serious cash from it.



Oh, what's this here?



I guess I never told you.



Told me what?



See, when I was a kid,...



... I learned a lot of different kung-fu styles.



One of the styles was hamster.



Hamster style... I don't think

I've seen you do hamster.



No. Well, I vowed to my father

I would never use hamster-style again.



- Why? What happened?

- I don't like to talk about it.



Well, maybe it would help you to talk about it.



You know, get it out.



I don't know if I can.



Well what are you running from, man?



I don't know.



I guess maybe I'm just runnin' from myself.



I mean, it happened several years ago, but

I can remember it like it was just yeasterday.



- Hey Dad?

- Mhm?



I don't think I'm going to do hamster-style anymore.



That's nice.



And that's the way it went down, man.



Shit. I can still smell that newspaper.



You know, it does. It does feel better to get it out.



Come on, I wanna show you something.



By the time I finally got this ol' momma

to work, it had a lot of parts.



The sucker got pretty heavy.

I could barely even lift it now.



What is it?



It's the Orgazmorator. I made it work.



Golly, it's huge.



Yeah. I could probably

make a compact version,...



... but then I'd have

to use cold fusion...



... instead of the fission

devices inside of it now.



But then, if I could figure out

cold fusion, I'd be a millionaire!



Want to give it a shot?









Stick your arm in this thing here.



Grab hold of the handle

and it should power up.



Calm down, dude! Calm down, it's okay.

It's just powering up. It's okay.



You can actually hold that thing, huh?



- It's... not that heavy.

- That's sweet.



So now what?



So now, I mean, it's... you know, I mean, it's like a gun.

I mean, you feel a little trigger on the handle there?



This one?



Oh my gosh, are you okay??



Thanks, man.



Awww, you're puttin' me on.



No. I told you it works.



Go ahead. Shoot yourself.



No, I... couldn't.



Go on, give yourself a treat! Just shoot

yourself in the foot or something.



I gotta get cleaned off.



I told ya!



I told ya it works! Do me again!



This is incredible.



Come on! Do me again.



Amazing. And you made this thing, huh?



Whooh, yeah.



Hahhh, sure beats jerkin', huh?

Gettin' your arm all tired?



Wow. Heavenly Father has really

given you a gift for science.



Yeah, whatever.

Hey, can you walk around with that thing on?



I think so. Why?



Wanna go have some fun?



Get up against the wall. Spread your legs.



Keep your arm up there!

You have the right...



-All right, gigolo, this is the last scene for the day.

Are you okay?



- No...

- Good. This is the scene where the evil Keena Rexis...



... whisks you back in time to the

Garden of Eden. Nice, huh?



Look at me. It's just you

and T Rex in this scene,...


            we're gonna need

a lot of hot action...



... before we bring in your

stunt cock. All right?



Go ahead, lay down.



...Why do they call her T-Rex?



Hi fellas, I'm ready to fuck.



Oh my gosh!



- You want me on top?

- No! No. Ah, I'll be on top.



You're gonna make my come,

or I'm gonna kick your butt.






Come on! Come on now! Ah! Oh, baby!

Oh, you make me so hot now! Come on!



Oh, that's great.



Oh, you make me so hot!!



Come on! Fudge me now! Fudge me now!

Come on! Come on!



Oohh, come on, lover! Baby!



Damn, dude, that's some

hot shit right there.



Hey! Can I get everyone

together for a few photos?



- Photos.. photos for what?

- Just some stills for publicity.



You know, I don't wanna sound

like a queer or nothin',...



... but I'm really gonna miss you guys

when the show is over.



Ben, do you think people will see

this video in Utah?



I wouldn't worry about it, dude.



Some of these movies we've made every

month, no one is even gonna notice.



Say... Geddy Lee.



- Who's Geddy Lee?

- Geddy Lee! Best bass player ever! Come on!



Geddy Lee.



Mr. Orbison, it's Joe Young.



Oh Hung! Joe Hung, how are you?



I wa... I actually haven't received

my money yet, and I was wonderi...



Of course, Joe. Your money, you know,

I was just over at the accounting department,...



... and I think they were putting the

checks through the big check processor.



No. I got my mail today

and... and it's not there.



Those diry bastards!



Well I need to get it

before I can go home, see? I...



I'll have that fuckin' postman for lunch!



You know, I put that thing in the

mail three times now, Young!






An exclusive look at the story...



... behind the crossover success of the decade.



- Stand back, Jizzmaster Zero!

- You can't get me, Orgazmo!



I'll get you with my... Orgazmorator!



How does a movie about a sex superhero...



... become a box-office smash?



This year's John Holmes award goes to...



Tom Hung for Orgazmo!






Holy shit!



What's the difference between Orgazmo...



... and your previous porn titles,

like Schindler's Fist?



I really think history will describe

Orgazmo better than I possibly could.



Hi, Ben.



Hey Georgi. God-damn!

Did your breasts get bigger??



Yeah, I... uh... I upgraded.



My doctor says now I have

enough silicone in my body...



... to kill a small elephant.

Isn't that cool?



Hey Orgazmo!



I'm not Orgazmo.

My name is Joe, okay? Not Orgazmo.



Man, you should be psyched to be Orgazmo.

Especially today, I mean...



Look at this party.

Everybody in the business is here today!



I don't know any of these people.

I just came to get the rest of my money and go.






Hey! Orgazmo!



- I'm not Orgazmo, okay?

- Yeah.



Have you seen Mr. Orbison?



Oh, yeah. I think he's over

there someplace or something.



- Hey, what do you think of this band?

- Um... fine.



Yeah. I think they kind of sound

like Depeche Mode.



You know, I don't wanna sound

like a queer or nothin',...



... but I think Depeche Mode

is a sweet band.



That's nice.



Oh yeah oh yeah. You know my homie

got the bitches and the cheap boca cheap.



Got my jimmy on your tosset

and the rhyme of feelin' ill.



Oh sorry. We are not open yet.



Oh that's okay.

We're not hungry anyway.



You get outta here!



Regarding the contract,...



... our boss told us to make

you a better offer.



Now, here's the pen.

Here's the contract.



Bitch! You gonna get popped!

If you keep ridin' me!



Oops. Wrong answer, homie!



Hey Hung, just the man I wanted to talk to!



I actually just came by to collect

the rest of my money.



Oh yeah, sure, sure. Here, here.



Hey listen. Joe. That is a lot of money.



That's nothing for a man of your talent.



Heheh. How do you like that, G?!



Oh, you dirty bastard!



Come on.



You better check yourself before

you wreck wreck wreck yourself.



One! Two!



Oh, that hurts.



- You gonna sign the papers?

- Your momma!



- Are you gonna sign the papers?!

- Your momma!!



Oh no no, not the glass.

I just replaced it.



Oooohhhh! Oh, that hurt so bahahad!



A sequel! You wanna do a sequ...



With the success of this thing,

how could I not wanna make a sequel?



Look, Joe, I know how crucial

you are to Orgazmo's popularity.



That's why... I'm doubling your salary.

Forty... thousand... dollars.



Oh, boy.



- Sign the paper!

- Ohohoh. Okay, okay. I will sign it.



Yeah, I know you'd see it our way. Sign it!



Thank you Los Naked Mariachis.



People, I have a very important

announcement to make!



In three days, we will begin principal

photography on "Orgazmo  ".



- Hello.

- Hi honey!



- Oh, Lisa! Oh, hi.

- How are you?



Oh I... I'm fine.

I... I have some news.



Good or bad?



Well, good and bad, I guess.

Uh... they want me to do a sequel.



- A sequel?

- Yeah.



To "Death of a Salesman"?



What? Wait, doesn't he die

at the end of the first one?



Um... Yes. Yes, he does. But... but he has

a twin brother, who... who wants revenge now.



Revenge? But... he kills himself, didn't he?



Nooo. Nooo. That, that's just

what you were led to believe.



He was killed by the CIA

for selling smack... to... Nazis.



Wow! All this time I thought

"Death of a Salesman" was boring.



But Lisa, they're giving me

forty thousand dollars this time.



Oh, you're the best, Joe!



Oh poopie! Forty thousand dollars.

We can almost buy a house.



I know. And that's why I... agreed to do it.



Oh, I have to go, Joe.

Daddy's here to pick me up...



For choir practice, I know.

I'll call you tomorrow, okay?



Okay. Jesus and I love you, Joe.



Jesus and I love you, too, cupcake. Byebye.



Hey! You're Orgazmo, aren't you?



No. I mean, yes. My name's Joe.

I play a character named Orgazmo.



- Listen, don't get fancy with me, kiddo...

- No, I wo...



You're not the bad boy around here anymore.



The name is A-Cup; I play Neutered Man.



Neutered Man?



Orgazmo's new arch-enemy!



Don't you get it? Neutered Man!

He has no balls!



Orgazmo's little ray won't work on him!



- But... Orgazmo beats him, right?

- How??



Well Orgazmo will find a way...



- How???

- I don't know.



Read the script, duder!

Orgazmo doesn't find a way!



Neutered Man escapes!



You know, it's funny.

You look a lot tougher on the screen.



Maybe I'll show you some real moves sometime.




Hey, whattaya think, Ace?



I don't like it. It doesn't have

the spirit of the first one.



And action.



Now that I have you at the Parthenon,...



... I will sacrifice you to the god of lust.



You're so evil, Neutered Man!



If Orgazmo was here,

he wouldn't let you do this to us.



I'm not afraid of Orgazmo!



Did someone say my name?






And Choda Boy!



Let them go, Neutered Man!



Never! I'll kill you first!



Your little ray has no effect on meeee, Orgazmo!



Why doesn't your Orgazmo ray work on him, Orgazmo?



I don't know, Choda Boy. It's all Greek to me.



- Orgazmo, you saved us.

- How can we ever repay you?



I have an idea.



Cut. Stunt cock.



- Stunt cock.

- Stunt cock.



- Rogers?

- Yeah boss.



...Who is that?



Oh, that's Ted, the new stunt cock guy.



...And you don't see a problem with this?






All right, fuck it.



Hey, is that a new costume, Joe?



No, I think it's the same one we've always used.



You know, I don't wanna sound like a queer or

nothin', but I think you've got a really nice ass.



- Uh... Thanks?

- Sure, dude.



What the hell? G-Fresh, what happened

to you, man? How'd you get that scratch?



Oh, I'm sorry, Gs. I'm closing down.

I have to be out in two weeks.



What? Why?



Well the punks from next door got me angry.



You signed the papers?



Well they came in the other day, and

just whupped my sorry black ass. Oh...



Did you call the police?



I make you guys last sushi for half price.






Um.. just give me tuna, salmon, shrimp.



We've got to help him, Joe.



Oh, right. What are we gonna do

against a gang of thugs?



Look, you and I are both

great martial artists, right?



I mean, we're pretty good. And I'm willing to bet

that between the two of us we can take these guys.



Those guys probably have guns, Ben.



Martial arts don't stop guns.



Ma do itashimashita. Hai, douzo.

(My pleasure. Here, please.)



- Jesus!

- Where?



Joe! I just got the most amazing idea ever.



The Orgazmorator, Joe!

You can use the Orgazmorator as a weapon!



You can stun anybody who has a gun,...



... take 'em out of commission!

And we kick their asses.



- Are you nuts?? That... that won't work!

- Why not?!



Well ...Even if we succeded, those guys

would come after us eventually.



We can use disguises.



We can cover ourselves up

so nobody can recognize us.



- That won't work!

- Why not??



Because it won't, gosh darnit!



I'll tell you something, Joe.



There's nothing sadder

than a sad Japanese man.



Boy, I'll say.



So what do you say, pal?



We can wear disguises?



We look ridiculous.



Dude, listen, it's the way people in this club dress,

awright? We've got to fit in. Here, put this shit on.



- All right, so what's the plan?

- Why are you asking me?



...'kay. We go in the front door,...



... then we walk to the back,

grab the contracts,...



... and if anyone tries to stop us,

we fuck his shit up.



That's a great plan, Ben.

Really well thought out.



Let's kick some ass, baby!



Head to the back!



Come on, Joe! Up the stairs!



Oh, it's locked. Too bad.



Don't worry! I have the Slim Johnson.



What the fuck is this?



You have a contract signed by G-Fresh!

We want it back!



You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me, right?



- Jimmy, kick their asses.

- You kick their asses.



Jimmy, kick their asses.



I'm tired of kicking everybody's ass.

I'm not kicking their asses.



- Yeah, my heart bleeds for ya...

- Kick their fuckin' asses!



Go. Guppy, play.



Com'ere, you little... whatever you are!






I'll kill you!






- Where's the contract?!

- What contract?




I'm not gonna ask you again!



All right! All right already!

It's over there.



Got it!



I strongly suggest you don't

mess with G-Fresh anymore!



You mess with him, we mess with you!



Bye-bye. God bless.



Look out, fucker!



Rocco! Stop them!












Woo! Yeah! God, that kicked ass, didn't it?!



No, it was horrible!



What are you talkin' about?! God, we got in there, we

kicked their ass, we got the contract, and we got out!



Fuck, dude, it couldn't be

scripted any better than that!



Actually, I take that back.



That guy... was pointing a gun at me.

He could've shot me, Ben.



And all I know...

is that little guys always get stepped on.



Tonight, we did some stepping!



And all I know is I gotta

get the heck out of Los Angeles.



Way too much weird stuff goes on here!






- Hi, honey.

- Lisa? What are you doing here?



I couldn't take it anymore. Daddy lent me

some money to come out. Isn't that great??



Noo! I mean... I mean...



... bo- Boy, I'll say!



How long you staying?



Until the show's over.



I know! I know. I know. I know. I know.

Living together before we're married is strange.



But I figure, heck, the Lord won't be angry...



... as long as I sleep on the couch, right?



I... actually I don't know, Lise.



The Lord's kinda tricky when

it comes to stuff like that.



Waitwaitwait, hold on, hold on. Ah...



Wow, this is a much nicer apartment

than I thought you'd have.



Yeah, I got some new stuff.



Oh, when is your next shoot?

I wanna come and watch.



It's sold out. I mean, it's a closed set.



Oh. Well, I'm sure you can get me in.



I doubt it.



This place is such a mess.

I can't stand for you to see it like this.



What are you talking about? This is spotless.



Joe?? Joe, what is the matter?

Aren't you glad to see me?



Haven't you missed me?



You have no idea how much I've missed you, Lise.



- I've almost forgotten how beautiful you are.

- Oh, Joe.



- Hello.

- Shut up.



How you doin', A-Cup?



Fuck you!



Hey! Come here.



Come here.



Now get the fuck out of here!






I should have known you'd team up

with Neutered Man, Lobstra!



That's right, Choda Boy!



And if you don't tell me where Orgazmo is, I'll...



... screw you to death!



I'd like to see you try!



All right.



Just let me get out of these clothes...



Where do you want me?



You're not in the shot yet.



Oh. Oh. Sorry.



Stop it!



- Stop grabbing my ass!

- Momm, baby.



- Knock it off! We're not rolling!

- I'd say we are!



- Hey hey hey, leave her alone.

- Don't you fuckin' tell me what to do!



Just leave her alone.

You don't have any right to...



Oh yeah??? You want some?



- You want some of me?

- Hey hey heyhey! Hey HEY hey hey hey!



A-Cup, look what you did here.



He's supposed to work in the next scene.



I'm sorry, Uncle Orbison. He provoked me.



The both of you two better stop scrappin' or else...



... you'll be sleepin' with the fishes. See?



Merry Christmas.



- He totally started it, Mr. Orbison. I...

- Just get to make-up, Hung.



Are you okay?



Yeah. Thanks for trying to help, Joe.

You know, he kinda really hurt me.






Oh, yeah.



Oh, no!



Oh, yeah.



Oh, no.



Do something, Choda Dog!



Quickly, Choda Dog. Bite through these ropes!



Thanks, Choda Boy.

That's just what I need.






What has Jizzmaster Zero done

with the little fat retarded kid from Boise?



I don't know.



We must find Jizzmaster Zero!



Here they come, Choda Boy! Duck.



Excuse me. What movie is this?



What movie is this?

Have you been living in a cardboard box, lady?



No, I'm from Utah.



Oh. I'm sorry.



Joe, Joe, these are two of the

hottest porn stars in Japan.



Natsuko and Haruko.



- Hi!

- How do you do?



Natsuko, you go sit over here.

Right on the bed. Very good.



And Haruko, you sit right here, darling.



Now, when we roll cameras,...



... Natsuko, you say:

"There is no escaping us, Orgazmo."



There iz no escaping us, Orugazmo?



Good. And Haruko, you say:

"Prepare to meet your doom!"



Prepare da meet zou doom!



Good. Close enough.



Joe, you say:



"I'll find a way to break free, Assfuck Twins!"



I'll find a way to bre...! Oh...

Ah, wuh. I... I can't say that.



- Say what?

- What are they called?



The Assfuck Twins.



I can't say that. Can we call 'em something else?



But they're the Assfuck Twins.



Well I know, but... couldn't I call them

the Naughty Twins or something?



No, you couldn't just call them the Naughty Twins.

They're the Assfuck Twins.



Why would you call them the Naughty Twins when...



... they get fucked in the ass all the time?



Well, that's pretty naughty.



Look Hung! I've been pretty patient

with you, but it's wearing thin!



Now my need to kiss your ass is over!



So you'd better shape up, kiddo. Understood?!



Yes sir.



Okay. Let's shoot this.



Roll camera.



And action!



There is no escaping us, Orugazmo.



Prepare da meet zor doom!



I'll find a way to break free,...



... A... assfucktwins!



Get away from him, Assfuck Twins!



- Chodai Bo!

- That's right!



Let's see how you like my...



... cock rocket!



Cock rocket!



Cut cut cut! God-damnit cut!!



You call that an explosing, Chapleski?!



I told you to make it bigger!



All right, mellow out, I'll make it bigger. Jesus.






The both of you two assholes get off of my set!!



We'll just shoot the fucking sex!

Bring me my stunt cock!



- Stunt cock.

- Stunt cock.



Hey, how're you doin'?



Just get in there and fuck.



- I haven't slapped my ass yet.

- Move, fuck boy!



Assfuck Twins!! Wooo!!



Boy, I've never seen Mr. Orbison like that.



Well he's a first-class asshole, that's for sure.

See ya tomorrow.



Good night.



- Oh. Hey, Joe.

- Oh. Hi Dave.



- You know, you did a good job in there today, man.

- Thanks. Thanks, man.



You know, I don't wanna sound

like a queer or nothin',...



... but I kinda wanna make love to you tonight.



Goodbye, Choda Boy.



'Night. Whoa, excuse me.



Ey Boss, this guy looks really familiar.



'Course he looks familiar.

He's Choda Boy in the film.



Oh yeah, that's right. Choda Boy. Good stuff.



- You work for Orbison?

- Is there a problem, Chapleski?



No... There's no problem. Excuse me.



Hi Cupcake, I'm home.



- Orgazmo!

- And Choda Boy!



I'll use my Orgazmorator.



Nice shot!



- Ah... How's it going?

- Joe, how could you?



Lisa, listen to me.



You had your heart so set on

being married in the Temple and,...



... and having a nice place to live and...

I wanted to have it all for you.



But you had to know that I didn't want this.



I... it all happened so fast, Lise. But bu...



Fie on you, Satan!



Lise, I... I thought nobody would ever know.



I had no idea it would get this popular.



How could you have sex

with all of those women??



I didn't have sex with them.

It was a stunt cock.



A stunt... cock?






So... So you...aren't actually touching

those women's... breasts?



Oh... no, that's all just... special effects.









Lisa, I love you.



And... and I did this all for you and... for us.



Hey, is this what you think

Heavenly Father has intended for you??



I don't know, Lisa. All I know is that

I'm finally good at something.



You have to quit, Joe.



You have to quit, right now,

and get back to Utah.



I can't quit, Lisa, we're still shooting.



But, ehp, what about me?



Lisa, it's two more days. Two more days of shooting,

and then we'll have all the money we need.



I don't want the money if

this is how you have to earn it!



Well, I don't know how else I can earn it!



Joe, it is wrong!



Will you just stop hollerin' at me?! Criminy!



I guess we don't have anything else to say.



I don't know what's happened to you, Joe.






... I hope you're happy

in the life you've chosen.



Don't quote Dickens in my apartment!



That's right. My house.



Oooo! Come on now! Come on, baby!

Oh-oh yeah! Spank that ass now!



Come on! Come on! Move that ass, baby!

Woo! Ohh yeah! Oh, that's a baby now!






Oh, you feel so good inside me, baby!






Lis... LISA!!



Use your little foam here! That's right, baby! Come on!

Give it to momma now! Give it to momma now!



Awww, heck!



- What's your name again?

- I am Sancho.



Look, I get a lot of people

auditioning all the time.



What makes you think

you'd be good at porno?



I am Sancho.



That's great, but... What do you do?



What do I do? I am Sancho.






And there are many... Jeffs in the world,

and many Toms as well.



But I...



... am Sancho.






Are you Sancho? No, you are not Sancho.



Neither is Scott Baio Sancho.



Frank Gifford is not Sancho.



But I...



- You... are Sancho!

- That's right.



- Okay, you're hired.

- Of course.



You get a hundred bucks a scene.

We're shooting one tonight.



It's on the volcano set,

with the Assfuck Twins.






Boss, Joe Young is here to see you.

He says it's very important.



God-damnit. Send him in.



Whattaya want, Hung? I'm very very busy.



Well, Mr. Orbison, I just came by

to tell you that... I have to quit.



Oh my God, it's Orgazmo!



- I am not Orgazmo!

- I am Sancho.



You, you see, Mr. Orbison, my my fiancée came in

from out of town and everything just...



... well... dangit,... I just have to

get back to Utah and marry her!



Get outta here! I'll see ya on set tomorrow.



No, I'm serious. I...



I appreciate everything you've done

for me, but, I have to say no.



My contract does state that

I can leave whenever I want.



- Wait a minute, kid, you're forgetting something.

- What?



That contracts don't mean shit to me.



Now you're gonna finish this film.

And then do you know what you're gonna do?






You're gonna do Orgazmo  .

Orgazmo   Orgazmo  ...



... Orgazmo Twenty-fucking-Seven

if I want you to,...



... and do you know why?!






Because I'm Maxxx Orbison!

And I get what I want!!



Now... Now hold on a minute, Mr. Orbison!

I said I don't wanna do it!



And you don't... you don't... own me!



You wanna bet I don't punk?!!!



Now I'm warnin' you, kid!

Don't fuck with me!



Now you go home and you tell your

little fiancée that the wedding is off...



... and you have your ass...

back here tomorrow a.m.!



Or else, you'll be sleeping

with the fishes. See?



Send in the next audition.



You know? I have had enough

of your poo, Mr. Orbison!



Find yourself another Orgazmo!



- I'm warning you, Hung!

- Good-bye!



Not so fast, happy-pants.



No. No! It's his decision. Let him go.



You shoulda let me whoop his ass, uncle Orbison!



No, we don't need him all messed up

for the shoot tomorrow.



There's another way.






Joe? It's me.



Joe, come on!

Can we please just talk about this some more?



- Joe.

- Hi, Ben.



Man, I just tried callin' ya,

I got some big news!



No, nono, I've got big news, too.

I just quit.






I'm going back to Utah to be a normal

Mormon again. I just... came to say good-bye.



I found out who's been beating up G-Fresh.

It's Orbison.



Those thugs work for him, Joe.



Orbison, wow. Boy, that guy just thinks

he owns the world, doesn't he?



Yeah he does. And that's why you

and I need to do something.



Oh nononononono! Look, I might have lost

the only thing that really matters to me!




I'm not staying in this town another hour!



Hey, you're gonna let Orbison extort money

from somebody like G-Fresh?



Listen to me Joe!!



No no! You...



- You need to...

- No, no! You listen to me, Ben!



I don't know when exactly I lost control

of my life, but I want it back!



No, wait a minute. See?

Now you're doin' what they told ya!



Dog-gonnit Ben! I'm not a superhero!



I'm a Latter-Day Saint!









- Joe? Joe, help me!

- Lisa? Whe...?



Joe! Joe!



I told you not to fuck with me, Hung!



What have you done with her?!



I'm gonna send her away so you

don't have to worry about her for a while!



Now you be on set tomorrow a.m.!



Or else I'm not gonna send her away,

I'm gonna blow her away!



Do you understand what I mean?!



You mean she'll be sleeping

with the fishes, see?



That's right.

Now you just finish this film,...



... then we'll see about getting

you two lovebirds back together!



Don't hurt... err...






What should we do with her, boss, huh?



We need some collateral.



Twins! Take a break.



Put her... on the set!



Joe! The hell you doin'?



He took her, Ben! Orbison took my cupcake!



Shit. I knew it would come to this!



Where's the Orgazmorator?

I have to get her back!



Whoa. Hold on! Listen: Orbison's

mansion is like a fortress, Joe!



There's no way you can do this by yourself!



I know. That's why I need you.



Damn, Joe. I've never seen you like this.



I'm pissed off!



- Help meeee!!

- Will you shut up?!



You pig! You're the one responsible

for degrading all of those women!



Hey hey! What about men, huh?

He degrades them too!



Yeah. Men are equally degraded

in pornographic films.



The men are always in a position of power!



The men are the ones who want the product so bad.

They're the victims!



Well, then, it exploits men

by exploiting women.



Hence... it exploits... people.



Shut up!!






I do what I do and I make a lot of money!



And I don't give a shit what I do

to people because they're all idiots!






Especially you, Clark.

You pig-fucking hunk o' shit!






Men like you make the Lord sick!



Jesus is gonna put an end to you!



If Jesus Christ wants

to bring Maxxx Orbison down...



... he's gonna need a lot of help!



- Wait! To the Orgazmobile!

- What?



My Buick Century!



"He sent his son to die for me."



"He didn't have to do that."



Man, this shit has got to go!



You'd better hope your little

boyfriend finishes my film,...



... or else I'm gonna release this instead.



I think we should start

with a close-up of my ass.



Welcome to Hollywood!



We can't go through the main gate,

or we'll be spotted.



Can you climb the wall

with that thing on?



- I'll sure as Abraham try.

- Right.



Come on! Get that camera up!



Don't yell at me!

I'm not used to working like this.



Man, these European videos are kinky!



- This should be a cake!

- Yeah.



Aw, shit! Back over the wall!









Oh. Hey.






Bad dog.



I didn't know it worked on animals.



Ben, could...?

Could you give me a hand here, Ben?



Bad dog! Shoo!



That's a bad dog! Oh.



That's fucked up.



Okay, I'm ready.



Finally. Okay, people,

let's do this. Roll camera.



- Drop him.

- Right.






This is private property!



Where is the woman you kidnapped?






Hung, is that you?



Don't you think you're taking

this role a little bit too seriously?



Where's my fiancée, buttlord?!



Let's just say your fiancée is getting

an education in the industry.



Yeah, she's gonna be a star, just like you.



You dirty so-and-so!



I've been waiting for this.



Son of a bitch!



Need a hand?



Excuse me?



You dirty girl.

I can do that.



- Yoktuki!

- Woh!



Jong kwang doh!






No problem.



You twerp!



Now I got ya!






Ohhh, shit!



Who are you?



I am Sancho.



Me estoy mojando.



Shit, dude.



Get off of me!



Boss! We got a problem! He's here!



Who's here?



Orgazmo. The real Orgazmo!



There is no real Orgazmo, you dipshit.



Let the woman go! Right now!



Who the hell are you??



I said, let her go!



Get this fuck!



Show me what you got.

I'm right here. Come on!



Oh yeah? You think you can do some

of that piece of shit on me, man??



Get up here. I'm gonna whup your ass!



And then I'm gonna rape your girlfriend!









Now it's your turn, Johnny!



Hawgh, you sonofabitch! Oh!






Use your hamster style!



No! I can't!



Hamster style, Ben. Do it!






Hey Dad?



I don't think I'm going to do

hamster-style anymore.



That's nice.



That's nice.



That's nice.



That's nice.



You're an asshole!



Easy shot.



Oh shit! We're out of battery power!






Hohoh! It looks like you're

up Fucked River now, ey kiddo?!



One more step and I'll slice her.






Did you really think you could

beat me, you cocky prick?!



Did you really think that a stupid

little twerp like you...



... could stop Maxxx Orbison?!



You've done a lot of

fucking damage here, pal!



And you're gonna pay me back

every cent of it!



Please, Mr. Orbison. Don't hurt her.



I told you not to fuck with me!!

What did I say?



That I'd be sleeping with the fishes, see?



That's right.



I own this town!



I'm the... mayor, I'm the governor,

I'm the police and the crime!






Got it!



I'm Orgazmo.









He's never gonna have an orgasm again.



One more for Jesus.



Looks like he's sleeping with the fishes.






Lisa? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?

What? Oh, I'm sorry. Here.



Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry.

What were you trying to say?



- "Don't pull the tape off my mouth."

- Oh.



Joe, I was so scared.



Oh, I know, Lise. I'm sorry, this is all my fault.

I... you were right, I was wrong, and...



No wait, Joe, Joe. It's okay.



Oh, Lisa, this is... this is Choda Boy.

I... I mean... deh... Ben.



- Hello.

- Ma'am.



Oh... uh... Joe...



- I'll explain later, Lise.

- Right.



There's one more thing, Orbi.

I did what you asked me.



Cock Rocket!!!



That's a heck of a cock rocket, Ben.






This has really been

a learning experience for me.



...Yeah. I've learned

a lot about myself tonight.



Ben, I'm... sorry you had

to use your hamster style.



No, it's okay.



In fact, I think it's a good thing.



All these years I don't know what

I've been running from.



Maybe I've been running from my...



From yourself. Right.






Come on, Joe. Let's get out of here.



We don't have to explain this to the cops.



You're right. I think we've done enough

damage to this little operation anyway.



Farewell, evildoers!



Whoa. Bummer, dude. What happened here?



Some superhero destroyed the house.



Oh. My name's Dave.



I am Sancho.



I don't mean to sound

like a queer or nothing,...



... but I think fire is very romantic.



This is the last of the bedroom stuff.



Oh, great.



- Hey kids.

- Hi Choda Boy.



All ready to leave, huh?



Yeah, I... I... uh... I guess so.



So I... guess there's no more...

Orgazmo and Choda Boy.



No, I... I don't think so.



Well, maybe someday I can... come to Utah.



It was... it was really good

meeting you. Really good.



Yeah. There was a lot of

good stuff goin' on.



Whole lot of good stuff!



Good stuff.



- Good, good stuff.

- Yeah.



A lot of stuff that...

makes you feel good.



It's good.



God, Joe!



Oh Joe, I can't let you do this.



Oh God!



Joe, this way is crazy,...



... but I think you might have been right.






Oh, Joe, it is so hard to know what

Heavenly Father wants from us...



... or what He has in mind.



This whole thing is just too...

gosh-darned wacky to be coinkidink.



Maybe this is...

what Heavenly Father has intended for you.



- Oh Lisa.

- Oh Joe!



Whoa! They're goin' crazy!



Ben, L.A. needs us. The world needs us. Heck...



... I think the whole universe needs us!



You mean you're gonna stay??



I think you guys need to clean up Los Angeles!



Well there's nothing that can stop us!



Well crime fighting will have a new name!



From now on, if someone

wants to turn to a life of crime,...



... he'll have to answer to Orgazmo!



And Choda Boy!



Ah, this is so wonderful! Let's pray.



Oh boy, look at the time! I've...



Now, Choda Boy, superheros

that pray together stay together.



Ah, what the fuck.



Heavenly Father, may we serve you

in the best way we know how.



May our decisions be rash,...



... may we do what's right.

And God bless us.



God bless us!



Every one!



Choda Boy!



Well, Doc? How bad is it?



It isn't good, Mr. Orbison.



There's a problem...

with your little guy.



What's wrong... with my little guy?



Well I'm afraid your testicles have

swollen to the size of Florida oranges.



Don't you think I noticed that?!



Tell me something I don't know,

you cocky prick!



We're gonna have to

amputate your... peepee.



I've got you now, Joe Young!



Soon, you'll be meeting up with...









What makes a man?

Is it the power in his hands?



Is his quest for glory?



Give it all you've got

To fight to the top



So we can know your story



Now you're a man

A man, man, man



Now you're a man

A manny, manny, man



A man, man, man



You are now a man

You're a man



Now you're a man



Live it, live it



What makes a man?

Is it the woman in his arms?



Just 'cause she has big titties?



Or is it the way he fights every day?



... No, it's probably the titties



Now you're a man

A man, man, man



Now you're a man-man

Man-man, man, man-man



Now you're a man



M - A - N, man

Man, man-man, man



Now you're a man



Onward Latter-Day soldier



Spread the Word of Christ



And Heavenly Father's vision



Of everybody being really nice



He sent his Son to die for me



He didn't have to do that



Onward Letter-Day soldier



Spread the Word of Christ






Special help by SergeiK