Voila! Finally, the Paint Your Wagon
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Clint Eastwood
musical movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Paint Your Wagon. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Gold
Gold
Gold
Gold
Gold
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am l goin'? l don't know
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
When will l be there? l don't know
When will l get there?
l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am l goin'? l don't know
When will l be there?
l ain't certain
What will l get?
l ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
Who gives a damn?
Who gives a damn? We're on our way
Where am l goin'? l don't know
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
When will l be there? l don't know
When will l get there?
l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
Where am l goin'? l don't know
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
When will l be there? l don't know
When will l get there?
l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am l goin'? l don't know
When will l be there?
l ain't certain
What will l get?
l ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
Who gives a damn? We're...
Farmers. Let's go.
Hold it. There it is!
Get over here. Now stop it!
Hello!
ls they dead?
They'd better be,
cos l'm gonna bury 'em!
Let's go.
My brother.
My brother.
He's dead.
His shoulder and leg
is pretty badly broken.
- You a doctor?
- Horse doctor.
But bones is bones.
Also a blacksmith.
Bring brother.
More in the centre.
God, we pass on to you
the body and soul
of this nameless peckerhead.
At least he went quick,
and he ain't going to suffer scurvy,
the dysentery,
spotted fever or the cholera
not to mention other maladies
contracted in consort with low women.
Or waste years digging in the dirt
and finding dirt, like l have.
- Talk about him!
- You wanna be next?
And seeing how he survived all that,
he could have been hit by timber,
fall down a shaft,
starved, get murdered
or committed suicide
on Christmas Eve.
What l mean, God, is you have
no pity for your living children,
so that's why we're asking you
to be a little kinder
to them when they're dead.
So, with all due reverence, Lord,
we pass on to you
this corncracker's body and soul
to take him and to keep him...
l stake this claim for me and my
new pardner, whatever his name is...
Forever and ever. Amen.
Pull him up.
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am l goin'? l don't know
Where am l headin'?
l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
When will l be there? l don't know
When will l get there?
l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am l goin'? l don't know
When will l be there?
l ain't certain
What will l get?
l ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
Who gives a damn?
We're on our way
l still see Elisa
She keeps on returning
As breathless
And young as ever
l still hear Elisa
And still feel a yearning
To hold her against me again
Her heart was made of holidays
Her smile was made of dawn
Her laughter was an April song
That echoes on and on
Since l saw Elisa
The shadows are falling
And winter is calling above
But l still see Elisa
Whenever l dream
Of love
- Elisa. That the name of your girl?
- Yeah.
l found this. l thought
it might make a good crutch
now that you seem to be
getting around good.
Thanks.
lt just don't seem right, Mr Rumson.
You doing all the work
and me getting half.
l mean, it's your mule,
your tools and all.
- lt was your brother.
- Well...
Where l come from, we're cautious of
strangers who talk in an easy manner.
You got me down for some kind
of low scuff from New Orleans?
Sell you patent medicine
with one hand,
pinch your purse with the other?
That's what l was thinking.
Actually, you're right, but
l ain't yet sunk to horse stealing.
l've salted claims, yeah.
And l've sold whisky to lnjuns.
Once a man come at me with a gun,
and l killed him.
l can't think of one commandment
l ain't shattered.
l never did fancy my parents,
let alone respect or honour them,
and l have coveted
my neighbour's wife...
Whenever l had a neighbour
and whenever he had a wife.
And l gamble and l cheat at cards,
but there is one thing l do not do.
l ain't never gulled a pardner.
The one sacred thing, even to low
scuff like me, is a man's pardner.
Two pennyweight short
of four ounces.
Pass me your pouch,
l'll pour your share.
And, Pardner, l'll swap pouches
with you anytime you say.
l meant no offence, and l appreciate
you saving my life and all.
But what's expected in return?
That's right. l like to know
what crops l'm planting.
When l get dead drunk,
fall in a muddy street,
l expect you to come get me,
cos l don't want to die muddy drunk.
lf l owe a man $
stand good for me,
and if l get melancholy,
which can happen,
l expect you to be
my companion and solace me.
What happens when you
get in a fight?
lf four of anything come at me
at one time, you might lend a fist.
Up until that,
l can take care of myself.
You see, l don't fight fair.
Well, l don't fight at all
unless l absolutely have to.
l got kind of a temper,
and once l start, l just can't quit.
Well, good. Just remember
that l'm on your side.
l hear a shopkeeper's pulled into
town with a wagon full of whisky.
What do you say l hoist you
up that mule and we go get boiled?
l ain't a boozing man, either.
Well, l am.
Town meeting tonight! There's
gonna be a town meeting tonight!
Town meeting tonight, Ben.
- Ben! Ben Rumson!
- Mooney! This is my pardner.
- l thought you went back to lreland.
- l am. l'm just passing through.
- lt's right on the way.
- Mooney.
- How's it going, Willie?
- l ain't won a hand in three weeks.
This is my pardner.
He calls himself Rotten Luck Willie,
but that's just to get the suckers.
You can't beat him, so don't play.
- l don't gamble.
- Neither does he.
My name's Ben Rumson.
This here's my pardner.
And l'm buying whisky
for any man that can stand up.
- l was sitting there.
- Now you're standing there. Whisky!
Ben Rumson, you have an outstanding
account in the amount of $
from Yuba City,
and which you skipped town on me.
Skipped town on you?
l was run out. Don't you remember?
l want to be paid now before
they run you out of this town.
Put that damn gun down
and stand these boys the whisky.
Dry your hands before you weigh it.
We need supplies.
A pound of sugar,
half a case of whisky,
and pneumonia
for Schermerhorn there.
A pound of sugar and a two pound sack
of flour, please.
Evening. Horace Tabor,
Worcester, Massachusetts.
When did you get in?
Arrived this morning.
Hit a vein this afternoon,
and l aim to be back
in Worcester by Christmas.
lt says here California's
going to be admitted to the Union.
Just what it needs...law and order.
- That's good news.
- Well, it ain't to me.
lt's my policy to bust out of any
territory the day it become a state
- and head for the wilderness.
- l don't agree, sir.
You look around the human race,
you wonder what was God thinking.
God made the mountains
God made the sky
God made the people
God knows why
He fixed up the planet
As best as he could
Then in come the people
And gum it up good
The first thing ya know
They civilise the foothills
And everywhere he put hills
The mountains and valleys below
They come along and take 'em
And civilise and make 'em
A place where
No civilised person would go
The first thing you know
The first thing you know
They civilise what's pretty
By puttin' up a city
Where nothin'
That's pretty can grow
They muddy up the winter
And civilise it into
A place too uncivilised even for snow
The first thing ya know
They civilise left
They civilise right
Till nothin' is left
Till nothin' is right
They civilise freedom
till no one is free
No one except
By coincidence, me
The first thing ya know
The boozer's in prison
And the criminal, he isn't
And only the rascals have dough
When l see a parson
l gotta put my arse in
The wagon that follows
the tail of a crow
The first thing ya know
l pick up and blow
The first thing you know
Ben Rumson!
You bloody old rumpot!
Mad Jack Duncan! This is my pardner.
l heard you was in town.
Wait till l tell you what happened
to Harry and Ernest and me.
- What?
- We never went home.
We're having a dance. Jump in!
Climb on, Pardner.
We're going to a dance!
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
l had a lucky day
Mary, my Mary
My sweet canary
We're goin' out this evenin'
Mary, my Mary
l'm gonna take you out tonight
So hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
l'm throwin' it away
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Good times are here to stay
This town meeting
will now come to order!
Hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
l'm throwin' it away
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
l had a lucky day
Mary, Mary
My cute canary
We're goin' out this evenin'
Mary, Mary
l'm gonna take you out tonight
So hand me down
that can o' beans...
Order!
Hand me down that can o' beans
l'm throwin' it away
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Go the beans, go the beans
Good times are here to stay
Hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
l'm throwin' it away
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
l had a lucky day
Mary, Mary
My sweet canary
We're goin' out this evenin'
Mary, Mary
l'm gonna take you out tonight
So hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
l'm throwin' it away
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Out the window go the beans
Go the beans, go the beans
Good times are here to stay
- Anybody seen Ben Rumson?
- He left here about minutes ago.
- Thanks.
- Are you his pardner?
He owes me $ .
He said you would stand good.
Pardner.
- Can you help me get up on the mule?
- You all right?
l get melancholy every now and then.
lt's a disease common to
mountain men who live alone a lot,
but if you stay with me such times,
l'll be OK.
All right.
Did Ezra Atwell come to you
for that $ ?
Yeah. l stood good for you.
l guess this is what you meant,
when you said you expected me
to come get you
muddy drunk in the street.
And now you're gonna be my companion
in my moment of despair.
- Well, you're my pardner, ain't you?
- l like you, Pardner.
l like you, Ben.
My mother and father's dead,
and my two brothers and myself,
we worked the farm.
Then last year, my older brother,
he took himself a wife.
Me and my kid brother decided
to leave Michigan and come out here,
maybe dig some gold,
get enough money to buy some land.
Except now that he's gone, l don't
have too much appetite for farming.
What about your girl?
- Girl?
- Yeah. Elisa.
ls she gonna come out and join you,
or did she marry your brother?
To tell you the truth,
there is no Elisa.
l just read that name somewhere
and made it up.
Them's the best kind, but
what l need now is the worst kind.
lt's a living hell up here,
what with the bloody rain
and the bloody loneliness,
and that bloody, bloody wind.
Maria, Maria
They call the wind Maria
Away out here they got a name
For rain and wind and fire
The rain is Tess
The fire's Joe
And they call the wind Maria
Maria blows the stars around
And sends the clouds a-flyin'
Maria makes the mountains sound
Like folks were up there dyin'
Maria, Maria
They call the wind Maria
Before l knew Maria's name
And heard her wail and whinin'
l had a girl and she had me
And the sun was always shinin'
But then one day l left my girl
l left her far behind me
And now l'm lost
So goldurn lost
Not even God can find me
Maria, Maria
They call the wind Maria
Out here they got a name for rain
For wind and fire only
But when you're lost and all alone
There ain't no word but lonely
And l'm a lost and lonely man
Without a star to guide me
Maria, blow my love to me
l need my girl beside me
Maria, Maria
They call the wind Maria
Maria, Maria
Blow my love
To me
Women! Look at the women!
Look! Two women!
Look at the two women!
There's five women!
l wanna get one of them gals!
Women! Women!
There's women coming into town!
Men, women coming down the river!
Lady, l got $ here in gold dust.
You can have it all
if you let me hold the baby.
Very well.
No, l don't want your money for it.
You'll hurt his feelings,
Sarah. Take it.
Look at them eyes,
glowing like he just hit pay dirt.
He's a girl, you bummer!
Would anyone else
care to hold the baby?
- Not now, Jacob.
- Just where are you people from?
lllinois, originally.
l'm Jacob Woodling.
- This is my wife Sarah.
- And who is this fine young lady?
- Her name is Elizabeth Woodling.
- Your sister?
No. My wife.
Your wife?
l thought that one was your wife.
- They both are.
- Holy Moses! They're Mormons!
- Du lieber Himmel!
- Nice work, old man!
- Can we get something to eat there?
- With $ you can, sir. Follow me.
- What the hell is a Mormons?
- lch weiß nicht.
Bridegroom,
l don't give a damn how a man prays.
There's room in hell for all of us,
but it just ain't equitable,
for you to be having two of
something all of us got none of.
So l'll tell you what l'm gonna do.
Your mule's lame,
and l got a beauty that cost me $ .
l'll swap you straight,
my mule for one of your wives.
Now, which one's baby's mother?
God knows l wouldn't want
to separate mother and child.
- l am.
- Good. l fancied t'other one, l did.
- This is immoral.
- l hope so!
- The woman's married.
- No, she's not!
We don't recognise plural marriage
in California.
Then l bid $ in gold for her.
- !
- !
Wait!
You can't buy a woman for money.
Try and get one without it.
All right, what about it, Mormons?
Jacob, we need every penny,
and l can't bear another day
of those martyred looks.
- There it is again.
- This ain't a martyred look, Sarah.
This look is pure hatred.
Quiet! Brigham Young has wives,
and he hasn't had
half the trouble with them.
Then simplify your life, Jacob.
Sell me.
But, Elizabeth,
you don't know what you'll get.
l know what l've had.
- Go ahead, Jacob.
- Gentlemen...
Out here l ain't a Mormon.
Elizabeth is a headstrong woman,
especially since
her own baby died two weeks ago,
but she's given
her consent to be sold.
Therefore, if any of you
want to bid for her, so be it.
But let's go outside,
where there's room for more people.
But these religious dogs
are bloody greedy! Come on! Come on!
You wait here and feed the baby.
lt's not proper
you standing on a block.
lf anyone wants to inspect you
l'll send them in.
Order! Order!
l intend to conduct this auction
in an orderly manner!
And no bids in Spanish. The last bid
was $ and two blankets.
$ two blankets and a jackass!
A two-pound sack of coffee,
a two-pound sack of brown sugar...
Holbrook, even if she is bought,
how will she marry who bought her?
She'll be married by the
prevailing law of this community,
which is mining law, and she will be
treated like any other legal claim!
Order! Order! Order!
Order! The man bids $
four blankets, one pickaxe
and a bedpan.
Mooney, there's a woman in the saloon
with a baby
pressed against her breast.
That's right.
Wait. lt ain't every day
that we got a woman in Atwell's
- pressing her breast with her baby.
- That's right.
Clendennon,
there's a woman in Atwell's
pressing her breast to the saloon.
l know, and we're bidding for her.
Sam Fletcher bids $
four blankets...
Ben, where you going?
There's a breast in Atwell's
pressing a woman against her.
You better stay here.
- Look! There's another one!
- He's a Mormon. He has two wives.
- l'll kill him.
- They're bidding on her now.
What's the bid?
Whatever the bid is, l double it!
$ was bid last!
Mr Ben Rumson gallantly
doubles that bid to $ !
once...
Wait! l'm his pardner,
and he withdraws the bid.
- You have power of attorney?
- Power of what?
Written permission,
signed and witnessed.
lf he could do that,
he'd talk for himself.
- twice!
- Wake up, Ben. Come on.
Sold to Mr Ben Rumson for $ !
He only looks that way
when he's drunk.
You ain't exactly
seein' him at his best,
but once l get him
washed down and clipped,
l think you'll be
agreeably surprised.
Get the soap and water
Get the soap and water
Got a sweet perfumer
To try his humour
lt's Ben's weddin' day
Wash him down and clip him
Wash him down and clip him
He's got a blue-eyed wonder
To put him under
lt's his weddin', Ben's weddin'
Ben's weddin' day
Where am l goin'?
l don't know
Where am l headin'?
l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
Amen
Dearly beloved,
we have gathered together
to grant this man, Ben Rumson,
exclusive title to this woman,
Mrs Elizabeth Woodling,
and to all her mineral resources.
l have drawn up this record of claim,
which here and henceforth
will be recognised
as a certificate of marriage.
So l ask you, Ben,
do you recognise this claim
as a contract of marriage,
and do you take this woman
to love, honour and cherish?
He does.
Elizabeth Woodling,
do you take this man, Ben Rumson,
to love, honour, and obey him
until death do you part?
She does.
l now pronounce you claimed and filed
as Mr and Mrs Ben Rumson.
Mr Rumson went to town
Ridin' on a pony
Bought a wife and brought her home
And called it matrimony
Mr Rumson bought a bride
Out in Californy
He'd have saved a lot of money
Stayin' drunk and horny
Oh, Susannah
He's happy as can be
For he's got him somethin' better
Than a banjo on his knee
Rumson, he got married today
Married today, married today
Rumson, he got married today
What'll he do tomorrow?
Ben! l'll be glad
to help you work your claim!
l'll be bedding down
by the fire if you need me.
You'll not regret taking me in,
l'll make you a good wife.
You sure as hell will.
l don't fault you
for taking me for an easy woman.
l was bought and paid for.
But you bought me for a wife,
not a whore.
lf you come again at me again like
a slavering dog, l'll shoot you!
Watch where you point that thing.
You'd blow my manhood
halfway to the moon.
l mean to make you a good wife and
honour this contract of marriage,
but only if you
will honour it as well.
l don't know
what you mean by honour it.
l know your sort of man.
My father was the same sort,
born under a wandering star.
l ain't fool enough to bond you
with all the tyrannies of marriage.
All l want is your name, Mr Rumson,
and the least measure
of respect due to a man's wife.
But most of all,
l want you to build me a cabin.
A cabin that'll stand up
in winter with a fireplace of stone
and a door l can bolt if l have to.
And if you do that, l will say
you have honoured the contract.
But if you regret having bought me,
say so now.
And if l have to work forever,
l'll see you get your $ back.
l admire your pioneer spirit and
your straightforward manner.
- ls that what you've been admiring?
- l've been admiring you.
All right, l'll build you a cabin,
and l'll give you my name proudly.
You're Mrs Ben Rumson, and l'll kill
any man that says you ain't,
and l'll stick to it till l move on,
which is when the gold pinches out
or the first snow of winter.
You ain't gonna claim duress later
just cos l held a gun on you?
No, ma'am,
l ain't going to claim duress.
l seem to lack
all sense of shame with you.
These men came all the way from
Fiddler's Camp just to see your wife.
Hiya, Ben!
Looks like l married myself
a tourist attraction.
Some of these boys hiked miles.
Ben, how's married life?
Pardner, it was so good,
l forgot that l was married.
l'd hike miles
to look at that myself.
l can see it ain't gonna be easy,
married to the only woman
in these mountains.
All right, boys!
The lady wants a cabin to live in,
a proper cabin made out of wood
that'll hold up in the winter!
So just don't sit there gaping,
get to work!
Send back the world
There's too much night for me
The sky is much too high
To shelter me when darkness falls
Four cabin walls
Would be just right for me
l need a threshold l can cross
Where l can sit
And gather moss forevermore
A million miles away
Behind the door
Roll up the plains
There's too much view for me
There's so much space
Between the waiting heart
And whispered word
lt's never heard
One room will do for me
Where every evening
l can stare at someone
Smiling from his chair
Across the floor
A million miles away
Behind the door
Where every evening
l can stare at someone
Smiling from his chair
Across the floor
A million miles away
Behind the door
No fears, no fools
No lies, no rules
Just doing with my life
What life is for
A million miles away
Behind the door
Elizabeth.
Elizabeth?
- Where have you been?
- Down at the rapids taking a bath.
You mean you was taking a bath?
l mean l was taking a bath.
What do you think l mean?
You was down at the rapids just now,
bare beam and buck naked?
l'm not like to take a bath
with my clothes on, Mr Rumson.
Are you trying to tell me
you was taking a bath?
- That's right. l was taking a bath.
- ln the middle of the night?
Mr Rumson, in a community of men,
would you rather l took my bath
bare beam and buck naked
in the middle of the day?
- What's the matter with you?
- What's the matter with me?
l ain't running around in the
middle of the night in my drawers.
Hey, boys! Listen to this.
''The proprietors of the
Hares and Hounds Club in Sonora
''wish to announce that six ladies
are expected to arrive by stage
''from San Francisco
on the th of August.''
- How about that.
- That's a hundred miles away.
What good is that gonna do us?
Ain't no one trying
to steal your wife, Ben.
l'll admit there's a few
who wouldn't mind trying.
Horace Tabor, for instance.
He likes to give her a look.
- Horace Tabor?
- Come on, Ben.
He just looks. She doesn't
encourage him or anybody else.
But you're beginning
to cut a comical figure.
- Everybody's laughing at you.
- l would've never thought of Tabor.
What the hell are you looking at,
Horace Tabor?
l'm looking for my stirring stick.
You make any more
advances towards my wife,
and l'm gonna shoot you down
like the dog you are!
And the rest of you horny gorillas!
You want something to do?
Put up your money for them six
French tarts coming into Sonora!
But keep your lusting minds
off of my wife!
l'd advise you, Rumson,
not to refer to me as a dog again.
- ls that clear?
- l'll stick my fist in your ear!
- Why you...!
- Grab Tabor! Stop him!
Get back! Get ahold of him!
Mr Rumson!
- Rumson, l...
- Mr Rumson!
Nobody has behaved unseemly to me.
l have been treated with nothing
but kindness in this camp,
and you owe every one of these men,
especially Mr Tabor, an apology.
By God, you're right!
l don't know what's come over me.
l've been behaving like a damn fool,
and l wish to beg your communal
pardons, especially yours,
Horace Tabor.
l suppose if l was married
to the only woman
in the neighbourhood,
l might be just as demented.
And, Mrs Rumson!
May l extend my compliments?
You are as wise as you are fair.
- Get your hands off!
- That lunatic tried to kill me!
l demand a town meeting to consider
a proper course of action.
lf that knife had come one inch
lower, l would not be here today.
- That's right.
- Fellow citizens,
as long as that madman
prowls among us, no one is safe.
Therefore, we must
find a solution by tonight.
Let us not wait until the condition
worsens or his aim improves!
- Thank you.
- Order!
- Mr Chairman!
- The chair recognises Ezra Atwell.
l would like
to ask Ben Rumson directly
if he doesn't think
that with a little sober effort
he could control
these fits of jealousy?
No. lt's getting worse every day.
Sorry, l can't help you.
- The chair recognises Ben's pardner.
- Thank you, Mr Holbrook.
l've been giving it
some considerable thought,
ever since Ben Rumson,
my pardner here, poor bastard...
Excuse me, ma'am...
Well, ever since he became a lunatic.
What's putting the strain
on Ben's mind
is having the only woman
for miles around here.
My proposal is that we
get some more women for this town.
How you gonna get women
to come up here?
- Order! Order!
- l know where we can get some women.
The six French bawds arriving
in Sonora a week Saturday.
You're right.
Let's get them
to come up here instead.
How? lf l was a French bawd,
l'd go to Sonora.
lf you was a French bawd,
we'd have no trouble.
How will we get 'em up here?
They gotta take the stage
from Sacramento,
and change horses
at Starbottle's Pass.
So five of us go down there,
hijack that stage,
re-route them tarts up here instead.
What's so hard about that?
lt all sounds just fine to me.
- When do we go?!
- Order! Order!
ls it your proposal, Mr Rumson,
that we knock out the stage driver,
steal a coach and kidnap six women?
Sounds better every time l hear it.
- You don't see what's wrong with it?
- What?
lf you don't consider
assault and battery,
grand larceny and kidnapping wrong,
what the hell do you consider wrong?
- You maniac!
- Sit down!
- You insane man!
- Schermerhorn, you're out of order.
- What?
- l yield the floor.
- Proceed, Schermerhorn.
- What?
- Speak!
- You maniac! You insane man!
What do you think them people
in Sonora will do
when we hijack their Fräuleins?
They grab their guns
and come up here to get them back!
Order, order!
- Gentlemen!
- Mr Atwell has the floor.
Gentlemen, it is miles
from here to Starbottle's
without a road or a trail.
Not even my mule can do it, how...
You lunatics!
Besides a civil war with Sonora,
you want to put us
in the white slave business!
Schermerhorn, you're out of order!
- Again?
- You haven't been recognised!
l'm Schermerhorn.
- Mr Holbrook.
- Oh, sit down!
Ben, these boys are right.
Mr Holbrook, l withdraw the proposal.
Have you gone out of your skull?
You can't expect them
to build a two-storey building
- just to get women here.
- Who said two storeys?
Somebody has to run the faro tables.
Rotten Luck Willie will.
You can't expect him to build a fancy
building with chandeliers
and masterpieces of art and gambling,
and six beautiful tarts upstairs.
We'd have every bummer for miles
around coming here to spend his money
on women and whisky
at Atwell's and Schermerhorn's.
You think that's bad?
Why, it's terrible! Just terrible!
You'd turn this camp into a boom
town! We don't want to do that.
- Soon there'd be another saloon.
- And a bawdy house!
- And another gambling hall!
- And another bawdy house!
- And hotels!
- Property would shoot straight up.
They'd make more money
selling old claims than gold.
These men didn't come
out here to forge a nation!
That's for men with a big dream,
with visions of America's greatness.
l'm warning you, if you want to turn
us into a dreary boom town metropolis
filled with nothing but millionaires,
all you gotta do is put up one
little, tiny two-storey cathouse!
l say let's put it to a vote,
and any man opposed is a traitor!
All those in favour of bringing
prostitution to this camp, say aye!
Passed!
There's a shifty side to you that
l'm just beginning to appreciate.
- Why can't l go along with you?
- Who'll take care of Elizabeth?
lt'll take three days
to get them tarts back here.
You don't expect me to leave her
alone in the middle of this?
Who can l trust if it ain't you?
You didn't say being pardners
meant wife-guarding.
Well, it just come up.
- Howdy.
- Captain Barnsfeather, Fort Sumter.
- When does the Sonora stage come?
- About four o'clock tomorrow. Why?
Supplies for the troops. Unmount!
Come in, Pardner.
- You sure l'm not intruding?
- Come in.
Will Ben really
get back in three days?
- Why?
- l'd like to know.
Who you expecting for dinner?
You! Sit down.
Thanks.
l didn't know you was expecting me.
l talk to the trees
But they don't listen to me
l talk to the stars
But they never hear me
The breeze hasn't time
To stop and hear what l say
l talk to them all
ln vain
But suddenly my words
Reach someone else's ear
Touch someone else's
heartstrings too
l tell you my dreams
And while you're listening to me
l suddenly see them
Come true
l can see us on an April night
Looking out across a rollin' farm
Having supper in the candlelight
Walkin' later arm in arm
Then l'll tell you
how l passed the day
Thinking mainly
how the night would be
Then l'll try to find
the words to say
All the things you mean to me
l tell you my dreams
And while you're listening to me
l suddenly see them
Come true
They're coming out of Starbottle's!
All right! Fall together!
Put me down, you bloody idiot!
Put me down!
- Down, down, down, down!
- Get in line!
Come on, move!
Captain Barnsfeather, Fort Sumter.
At your service, ladies.
Here to protect you along the way!
We're gonna have to take this detour.
- A detour through open country?
- The road up ahead ain't safe.
- lnjuns!
- Ain't no lnjuns around here!
Get back in the coach, ladies.
- There's a coach comin' in!
- Comin' in!
There's a coach comin' in
lf you listen, you can hear it
A-clip-cloppin' over the hill
And the sound that you hear
ls as good to your ear
As the call of
the wild whippoorwill
There's a coach comin' in
You can feel it gettin' near
All at once
And it bursts into view
And it looks to your eye
Like it fell from the sky
Like a coach
Full of dreams come true
For it's bringin' me
Eyes that are moonlight
And it's carryin' lips
That are wine
And it's comin'
With arms that are pillows
And this evening
lt all will be mine
There's a coach comin' in
And you're smellin' like a steer
Get the soap out
lt ain't far away
Cut the socks from your feet
Rake your hair till it's neat
There's a coach comin' in
There's a coach comin' in today
There's a coach comin' in
Hurry, hurry, do you hear?
With a cargo o' joy from Paree
Drop the tables and chairs
Get them beds up the stairs
And be sure
Every lock has a key
For it's coming with girls
Who buy perfume
Who wear powder
And rouge from Paree
Who will have to go
Somewhere to get them
And the somewhere to go will be me
There's a coach comin' in
And it's flyin' like a deer
Thank the Lord
There's relief on the way
Thank with all of your hearts
For them half-dozen tarts
There's a coach comin' in today
There's a coach comin' in
lf you listen you can hear it
A-clip-cloppin' over the hill
And the sound that you hear
ls as good to your ear
As the call
Of a wild whippoorwill
For it's bringin' me eyes
That are moonlight
And it's carryin' lips
That are wine
And it's comin' with arms
That are pillows
And this evening
lt all will be mine
There's a coach comin' in
You can feel it gettin' near
All at once
And it bursts into view
And it looks to your eye
Like it fell from the sky
Like a coach
Full of dreams come true
For it's bringin' me
Eyes that are moonlight
And it's carryin' lips
That are wine
And it's comin'
With arms that are pillows
And this evening
lt all will be mine
There's a coach comin' in
Now it's riding in the clear
And the sound of it grows to a din
No, there ain't far to go
Now they're hollerin' ''whoa!''
There's a coach comin' in
There's a coach comin'
And it's here
Ben!
Pardner, l wanna talk to you!
You rotten, lecherous,
deceiving, no-good, thieving...
The only reason l ain't blowing
your brains out is the relief
it's gonna give me when
l tear you apart with my bare hands.
What's the matter with you?
What was the two of you
doing on the same horse?
Riding. What else?
That's the last place l'd...
- Where was her horse?
- That was her horse.
And where was your horse?
You had my horse.
lf that's true,
why ain't you fighting back?
Cos you ain't been yourself lately.
That's a widely known fact,
and you know it yourself.
Get up, Pardner.
- How's your jaw?
- Feels like it's coming off.
- You ought to trust me, Ben.
- You're right.
You ain't the kind of man that'd go
lusting after another man's wife,
especially with them six bawds
arriving in town.
That's right, Ben.
l wouldn't do that.
The only kind of feelings
you'd ever have would be deep ones,
and if you had 'em for Elizabeth,
you'd come and tell me
before you would her.
That's right, Ben.
That's what l'd do.
- You're a good man, Pardner.
- That's what l was coming to do.
Tell you l got
some deep feelings for Elizabeth.
You hit me one more time,
l'll bust your skull open.
Nothing's happened, and nothing's
gonna happen, cos l'm leaving.
You're breaking up the partnership?
lf l hang around here long enough
watching you and her together,
l'll become
as big a lunatic as you are.
All right.
l'll go get your share
of the gold dust.
You can have the mule
and that new gold pan.
You can even have the rocker,
if you want to.
What's the matter, Ben?
Where you taking the rocker?
lt's for Pardner. He's going away.
Going away?
He never mentioned going away to me.
Of course not. You don't know
that man like l do, Elizabeth.
What are you saying?
He loves you. That's why he's going.
l don't want Pardner to go.
l love him.
Unpack, Pardner. You ain't going
nowhere. That woman loves you.
And that puts a new wheel
on the wagon, don't it?
Get this straight. l'm not taking
away your wife, and that's final.
- But you love her.
- So do you.
There's only one way for anybody
to be happy and that's...
for one of us to move away
and forget it. And l'm going.
Get out of my way.
Pardner, there comes a time
in the life of every partnership
when the party of the first part
has no recourse
except to knock some sense
into the party of the second part!
You're staying!
- What happened?
- He's staying.
- ls he hurt?
- No. Just tired.
He'll be good as new
in a couple of weeks.
Where you going, Ben?
You love Pardner? You take him.
And you take good care of him.
That's the decentest man
l ever run across. And the strongest.
Now, l know you women like
things legal, so here's what.
lt takes two weeks for you
to be an abandoned claim.
After that, you take the name
of your new owner
and file it down
at the mining office.
Then everything'll be legal.
l don't want you to go.
l love you.
What are you talking about?
You're my husband.
l don't want you to go away.
- What was that?
- Don't let him go, Pardner.
- You said she was in love with me.
- Didn't you say you loved him?
Yes, l did, and l do.
You just said
you were in love with Ben.
Yes, l did, and l am.
Ben, do you get that feeling
you need a drink?
- How did you know?
- Cos l do, too.
- But, Pardner, you don't drink.
- No, but l'm changing.
And it takes a woman to do it.
Bless their hearts.
Now, Elizabeth, let's try
and be reasonable about this.
For God's sake, make up your mind!
l can't. l love both of you.
But that ain't going to work.
You can't have both of us.
- Why not?
- Why not?
- Why not?
- A woman can't have two husbands.
l was married
to a man who had two wives.
Why can't a woman have two husbands?
- Because you can't.
- Well, why?
- You explain it to her, Ben.
- l'd like to oblige, Pardner,
but l'll be damned
if l can think of a reason.
Out here we make up
our own rules as we go along.
A man with two wives wants to sell
one at auction, nobody thinks twice.
lf a town needs females, hijacking
'em seems the natural thing to do.
And if two pardners
want to share a wife, why not?
This ain't Michigan.
lt's gold country.
Why, hell, it's the golden country!
Untouched and uncontaminated
by human hands!
People can look civilisation
in the eye and spit!
You don't have to please anybody,
don't have to love thy neighbour.
lt's wild, human and free,
and all over this nation,
they preach against it every Sunday.
But l don't think God's listening.
You know why?
Because he's here,
in glorious California!
- You trying to say you're willing?
- l am.
l think it's a humane,
practical, beautiful solution.
- lt does make a lot of sense.
- lt don't.
lt don't in Michigan.
lt does in California.
- What's everybody gonna say?
- Who are you talking about?
You mean everybody in town
playing them French horns?
They'd be damn glad
to have two less in line.
You're right.
Of course l'm right. lt's not like
somebody was asking you
to do something immoral,
like stealing gold!
- lt ain't as bad as all that.
- What the hell's bad about it?
Show me on that list of commandments
where it says a woman
can't have two husbands.
There ain't no commandment like that!
Hot damn! l think it's great!
lt's history-making!
Can't hold it.
- Elizabeth?
- Yes, Ben?
We will be three for dinner.
Shameless harlots!
You think the Lord was some boy in
a raggedy old sheet years ago?
You're wrong.
He's here now and he sees you!
Ye godless jaspers! Who are you?
Freemasons? Rosicrucians?
Heathen emissaries
from the dens of Babylon?
Boozers. Gluttons.
Gamblers. Harlots. Fornicators!
- What's a fornicator?
- l don't know. l ain't religious.
The stench of the city is in the
Lord's nostrils, making Him sick.
The Lord ain't gonna take it
much longer!
Come on up, Parson,
and get some old-time religion.
- Mrs Rumson. How are your husbands?
- Fine. Thank you, Mr Atwell.
Husbands? Did l hear husbands?
You animals! You pagans!
O God, Lord of hosts,
close thine eyes, then hold thy nose.
l am passing through
the garbage of humanity!
Come on, dearie.
Scum, keep your filthy claws
off my wife, Princess Hummingbird!
You heathen swine!
Do you know what God done
to Sodom and Gomorrah
when he couldn't find righteous
men in them stinking cities?
l'll show God a place
where there ain't .
- Yeah!
- !
- Yeah!
- Two!
- Yeah!
- Or one!
- Yeah!
- And here it is.
You want to see sin
of the wickedest kind? Here it is
You want to see virtue left behind?
Here it is
Sodom was vice and vice a versa
You want to see where
the vice is worser? Here it is
l mean, here it is
You want to live life
in the rottenest way? Here it is
Women and whisky night and day
Here it is
You want to embrace the golden calf
Ankle and thigh and upper half?
Here it is
l mean, here it is
No Name City, No Name City
The Lord don't like it here
No Name City, No Name City
Your reckonin' day is near
No Name City, No Name City
Here's what he's gonna do
Gobble up this town
Swallow it down and goodbye to you
Will you go to heaven?
Will you go to hell?
Either repent or fare thee well
God'll take care o' No Name City
Comes the end
and it won't be pretty
Here it is
l mean, here it is
Amen
- Evening, Pardner.
- Evening, Elizabeth.
- Evening, Ben.
- Evening, Elizabeth.
l hear George Lonergan
pulled out today.
- He's smart.
- He's broke.
Ben thinks placer mining's
all but finished in these parts.
What are we gonna do?
l hear talk of a strike
up to Red Dog.
- l'm not leaving my home, Ben.
- l wasn't suggesting it.
l'll live on grass and mud water
before l'd do that.
Ben isn't asking you
to leave your home.
Damn it! Why not? You like this town
as much as l like Schermerhorn!
That's right,
l hate what this town has become,
but it's one place
we can live together.
And there's nothing l hate as much
as l love the two of you
and this cabin.
lf you want to go to Red Dog,
you go ahead, but l'm staying here.
You come back whenever you want to.
The only thing stopping you
being perfect is your stubbornness.
Somebody should hit you till it's
gone. Somebody's gotta support us.
You can't go through
a whole winter here alone.
l won't leave her here alone.
You'd let this man who took care
of you and nursed you back to health
light out alone while you sleep
through winter like a fat groundhog?
- lf he goes, you go.
- And l ain't going.
- Well, l'll go, then.
- lf he goes, you go with him.
Didn't l just tell you you can't go
through a winter alone here?
You ever see such a stubborn woman?
No, l never did.
But if you ever hit her, you'll
have to deal with me straightaway.
- l sure am one tired man tonight.
- Must be from lifting those cards.
l only played a few hands last night.
l had a lucky streak. l broke even.
You'll tell Three-Fingered Sweeney
l'll pay him next week.
- You was playing poker last night?
- l was, and you was tired. Remember?
Well, l think l'll go have a
last drink with them three limeys.
- They're pulling out tomorrow.
- How much does he owe Sweeney?
- Wait. l won't take your money.
- Why not?
Cos a man don't do that
in Michigan or in California.
That's OK with me, but if you
want to keep your manhood,
quit trying to beat
three aces with a pair of fours.
See you at breakfast.
Sorry, boys,
Pardner ain't playing tonight.
- Willie? Have you seen Mad Jack?
- He's over there.
l want to convert
this dust into dollars.
Look out! He's losing gold dust
every time you bump his elbow.
There's more spilled here in one
night than we've dug up in a month.
Must be a pirate's fortune
under them floorboards.
- Where are you heading?
- Where l can find some gold.
Fleshpot Hill,
Brass Monkey Ravine. l don't know.
Save your souls
and help build a house for the Lord.
He can have my shack. l'm moving out.
You heathen scum. Money.
And the Lord sayeth,
''Money is the root of all evil.''
Cos he ain't never been rich.
- He knoweth about you...
- You don't say?
Living like animals.
You're going to hell!
l hope so. lt ain't too far down,
l'll tunnel and get some gold dust
that's fallen through these floor...
How do you figure we can
dig a tunnel without being seen?
We'll dig down from
the floor in our cabin,
under the street,
and right up under here.
- A tunnel?
- You idiot!
- Why, you lunatic.
- Dig now. Hit him later.
- What the hell's happening?
- We're tunnelling under Willie's.
After that gold dust under his floor.
- How did you know?
- Been thinking about it for weeks.
Why didn't you speak up?
You dirty, lazy, drunken...
- Lazy, am l? Damn you, Duncan!
- Shut up!
- Look, dig now. Hit him later.
- Right.
- You can hit me later.
- l'll remind you.
- Don't forget. Pardner's in on this.
- Then where is he?
- He's at home.
- Doing what?
Damn you!
Keep a civil tongue or l'll...
- You can hit him later.
- Right. You can hit me later.
And l'll remind you. Dig!
Hey, Willie, you seen Ben Rumson?
- Sorry.
- Close the bloody door.
- You're digging a hole.
- You don't miss a trick, do you?
Pardner, we got big news for you.
- You're what?
- We ain't stopping at Willie's.
There's gambling halls,
seven hotels and saloons.
Mad Jack figures
we can build tunnels under them,
honeycomb Main Street,
one end to the other.
- What do we do with all that earth?
- Give it to the meek.
- Have you gone crazy?
- He's not crazy.
There's a lot of gold dust
going through those floors.
l think there's more than a lot.
l think maybe
there's enough for the winter.
Hurry up and eat this, both of you.
Coffee will be ready in a minute.
l don't want you to be late to work.
- The earth is pure muck
- Muck's a good thing
- And oozin' with mud
- Mud is just fine
- lt's drownin' in bog
- Bog is good luck
And crawlin' with crud
Crud's a good sign
The poor, they got hope
The rich can buy soap
What rainbows ain't got a pot of
And l ain't got a spot of
A few feet down there's a lot of
Just waitin' to buy
Tobacco and rye from now till l die
The best things in life are dirty
And nothing in life is
- Better to hold than dirty gold
- The best things in life are
Filthy, dirty hunks
Of gold, gold, gold
- There's more than just gold
- Gold is enough
- That's buried below
- Beautiful gold
- There's seed in the ground
- Loveable gold
- Just waitin' to grow
- Spendable gold
A man has his creed
And mine is all greed
What banks have bulgin' accounts of
And l ain't got an ounce of
- Below there's endless amounts of
- Just dirty old trash
That turns in a flash
To dirty old cash
- The best things in life are dirty
- The worst thing in life is
- Wakin' up clean without a bean
- The best things in life are
Filthy dirty hunks
Of gold, gold, gold
The best things in life are dirty
The worst thing in life is
Being content without a cent
The best things in life are
Filthy dirty hunks
Of gold, gold, gold, gold
Stinkin' rotten chunks
Of blimey, slimy, lousy, lovely
Gold.
You bummers, over here!
l found him in the mountains.
He's half-frozen.
He says there's a wagon train
marooned up there.
Get up a rescue party!
Let's get out of these mountains
before a storm comes up. Pack up!
You've arrived at the height
of the season, Mr Fenty,
but we'll find hotel space
for the whole bloody lot of you.
lf you don't die,
you'll have one hell of a time.
We shouldn't take
respectable people to No Name City.
We can put up a few up at our place.
Can you take the rest?
Have you got room in your
cabin for a couple of invalids?
Ben's bringing in her husband.
Mrs Fenty, this is Mrs Rumson.
l'm Mrs Fenty's son, Horton.
This is my sister Laura Sue.
Here are some blankets.
Keep warm by the fire.
l'll take care of the children.
Your husband is a good man,
Mrs Rumson.
Yes, they are.
l said that husband
of yours is a good man.
Yes, thank you, Mrs Fenty.
Don't you worry.
The children went to sleep.
l'll see to Mr Fenty now.
Thank you, Mr Rumson.
My name's not Rumson, ma'am.
That's my wife's name.
l'll bet that seems
a little confusing, don't it?
A little, yes.
How is it you and your husband
don't have the same name?
- That's easy to explain.
- lt is?
ln the Chinese section of town
was the Pagoda Hell Saloon,
and upstairs there lived
a real Mandarin princess
who invited me over
occasionally for a little egg roll.
l'm entering to pray
for the unfortunate victims.
Parson, these folks
have suffered enough.
Why don't you do that outside
where God can hear better,
cos l'll be talking in here.
You can't talk to the parson
that way in front of these people.
This is a nice, church-going family.
Go see where Pardner is
with the supplies.
Yes, ma'am.
Mr Rumson, will you tell me
the rest of the story after dinner?
Sure. About years after dinner.
l'll take care of
your little sister. You keep warm.
Mrs Rumson, if the other gentleman
is your husband, who's Mr Rumson?
- He's my husband's partner.
- How is it you have his name?
Just a coincidence.
What are you talking about?
Elizabeth ain't sick.
You listen to me. She's got
a bad case of the respectabilities.
ln a few days she'll
be burning up in a fever of virtue.
- And then look out.
- Why?
lt's been my experience
that there's nothing more ruthless
and treacherous
than a genuine good woman.
Ben, you have to stay
at Atwell's tonight.
What?
l can't tell them l'm living with
two men. l just can't.
Elizabeth, you ain't making sense.
lf you want to be respectable,
how come Mr Rumson has to move out
while Mrs Rumson
stays with another man?
lf anybody leaves, it ought to be me.
You can't. l already
told them Pardner's my husband.
- Tell them you've made a mistake.
- lt's only for one or two nights.
lt'll be six weeks
before they can move!
Only a farmer's
dumb enough to get froze
and tough enough to survive it.
Damn farmers!
- OK, l'll sleep out.
- Where you going?
- To get my things.
- l got 'em right here.
See you in the tunnels, Ben.
- You moving out, Ben?
- No.
Me, neither. l guess there's two
kinds in the world.
People who move, people who stay.
Ain't that true?
- No, that ain't true.
- Well, what's true?
Oh, there's two kinds of people...
Them going somewhere and them going
nowhere, and that's what's true.
l don't agree, Ben.
That's cos you don't know
what the hell l'm talking about.
l'm an ex-citizen of nowhere,
and sometimes l get mighty homesick.
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
Wheels are made for rollin'
Mules are made to pack
l've never seen a sight
That didn't look better lookin' back
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
Mud can make you a prisoner
And the plains can bake you dry
Snow can burn your eyes
But only people make you cry
Home is made for comin' from
For dreams of goin' to
Which, with any luck
Will never come true
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
Do l know where hell is?
Hell is in hello
Heaven is goodbye forever
lt's time for me to go
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
A wanderin', wanderin' star
Mud can make you prisoner
And the plains can bake you dry
Snow can burn your eyes
But only people make you cry
Home is made for comin' from
For dreams of goin' to
Which, with any luck
Will never come true
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
When l get to heaven
Tie me to a tree
Or l'll begin to roam
And soon you know where l will be
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
A wanderin', wanderin' star
Willie, could you accommodate me
for a couple of days?
- Sure. Take your pick.
- No. l mean a room l can sleep in.
We don't rent empty beds.
Just till them
sick farmers leave my house.
Wait. Clotilde's
gone off for a while.
- Use her room.
- What happened to Clotilde?
Some bummer says if she don't
marry him, he's gonna kill her.
She took off to let him simmer down.
She said she'd marry him.
He wants her to quit working.
That's a narrow-minded attitude.
She's a fancy smeller.
Damn farmers.
Sugar, guess who this is?
Sugar, guess who this is!
By goom, l must have been
down here too long.
You're beginning
to smell like a woman.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mr Rumson.
You're an hour late.
Who the hell's the stranger?
He won't tell anybody.
He's practically family.
Just wanted to see
what a gold mine looked like.
You open your mouth about this,
l'll put a stick of dynamite in it.
- You tell no one, do you hear?
- l swear before God.
l said no one.
Start at end of number four.
Work an extra hour
to make up for being late.
- How's Elizabeth?
- She's fine.
We'd like to have you
for dinner tonight.
- ls that right?
- Yeah. : . ls that all right?
lt's mighty neighbourly, but l got
to play the organ for the parson.
Possibly some other time.
lf you're one of the family, dig!
Mr Rumson, l swore
l wouldn't tell anyone.
l hope that means except my parents.
That means especially
your mother and father.
l've never kept secrets before.
lt's about time you started,
cos when you do,
a whole new world opens up.
You got that kind of cold,
empty feeling inside of you?
- Yes. Do all gold miners get that?
- lt's very common.
What do they do for it?
l'll show you.
Are we going in a saloon?
That's where
the medicine closet is.
lt's part of that whole new world
l was telling you about.
After you, Columbus.
Gentle music fills the sky
At No Name City
And the days, they whisper by
At No Name City
Sure, there's not a spot as rare in
All heaven or in Erin
Let me live until l die
ln No Name Town
That's good. My first drink.
- You feeling all right?
- Yes, sir. Thank you.
That cold, hollow feeling
is almost gone.
Bartender, cigars.
Thank you.
l'll bet that's the strongest cigar
you ever smoked.
lt's the first cigar l ever smoked.
lt's delicious.
- You all right, Mr Rumson?
- Fine.
Why do you think my father
is so dead set against saloons?
Cos farmers ain't got the time
to enjoy the good things in life.
Farmer's got a busy day...
Got to pull them turnips,
talk about the weather.
That's about as much
as he can handle.
Quiet!
- Who are they, Mr Rumson?
- They're on the menu.
l don't understand, sir.
You ain't gonna tell me that you
ain't never had a woman, neither?
No, sir, l haven't.
That's terrible!
Do you know you could go blind?
We got to do something about that.
l wouldn't know what to do.
Don't worry. With your talent,
you'll catch on in no time.
Willie, if you was to go trapping
for the first time,
who would you take along as a guide?
That would be Gracie.
She loves adventure.
Grace, l give you the boy.
Give me back the man.
- That was the best.
- You think so?
l like smoking and drinking,
but they can't touch the last one.
That's got everything.
Most people'd go along
with that. Well, good night.
Mrs Rumson will be sorry
you're not coming for dinner.
The last thing she said this morning
was to be sure and bring you.
- ln that case, maybe l will.
- Good. l'll walk you home after.
Remember, you wasn't in no
tunnels and wasn't in no saloon.
l remember.
We thank thee, Lord,
for the two of these friends...
Shut the door.
For this
we thank thee, Lord. Amen.
- Will you wipe your feet off?
- Evening, Ben. Sit down.
Evening, Elizabeth.
Well, Pardner,
you handled grace pretty good.
Not as good as Horton did this
afternoon, but pretty good.
- Where have you been?
- Gold mining.
Your son's the most natural-born
gold miner that l ever met.
l brought him up not
to be afraid to try anything.
That boy tries everything.
Did you know that the Fentys had
an apple farm back in Pennsylvania?
Applejack?
- No, we did not make applejack.
- Then why grow apples?
Mr Rumson, should everything
from the earth be used for liquor?
- Whenever possible.
- You should read the Bible.
l have read the Bible.
Didn't that discourage you
from drinking?
No. Killed my appetite for reading.
We've been telling the Fentys
what good land's all around here.
- We're thinking of settling here.
- Great!
That news is so God damn great,
l need a drink.
Don't listen to him.
He's always joking.
- Elizabeth, the whisky's gone.
- l know. l poured it all out.
- You what?
- Out of courtesy to our guests.
lf you want a drink,
get your carcass out of this house.
You can't order a man
out of his own house.
- His house?
- That's right. lt's his house.
- Mrs Rumson is married to him?
- She's married to the both of us.
- At the same time?
- Well, we're pardners.
- l have never heard...
- Shut up and sit down!
- Don't order the guests around.
- Why not? lt's his fault.
Without his respectability, we'd
still be a happily married... triple.
- There's not one drink of whisky?
- Take mine.
Thank you. You saved my life.
Horton, how did that bottle
get into your pocket?
- How long have you been drinking?
- Since this afternoon.
You don't approve, but until
you've had a good cigar and whisky,
you're missing
two of the best things in life.
- Where'd you take him, Ben?
- Damn you, Ben Rumson.
What are you gonna
teach this boy next?
How to cheat at cards or
physical education with some floozy?
That's the best one.
- ls that what you did today, Ben?
- That's what he did today.
He's got a talent for dissipation
that is absolutely unique.
Out. Get out!
l order you out of this house!
This is not your house!
This is my house!
That's right. l give her the house.
lf you cross this threshold again,
l'll shoot you
like any other marauder.
- What's she so het up about?
- She's got a right to be.
You had to take your revenge
on the virtue of this boy,
show him what an ugly town
this really is.
lf we live here,
then we're ugly, too.
l could never go back
to what we had before.
lt's over and it's done
and it's finished. Now get out.
- Wait. lf Ben goes, l'd have to go.
- Then you go, too.
- Evening, ma'am.
- Good evening, ma'am.
You mutton-headed clunk. You knew
she didn't want them to know.
Elizabeth's a sick woman.
You got no respect
for anybody or anything.
l don't have your kind of respect,
sitting there with your hands folded
and that pious look on your face
after a hard day's thieving.
- lt ain't thieving.
- Then why are we hiding it?
Why are we talking about it?
She's all alone.
- Whose fault is that?
- Yours.
Hers. She threw us out.
Don't say anything
against Elizabeth around me.
l'll say anything l want. She's my
wife, paid for, and don't forget it.
l never do forget it.
- l got nothing more to say to you.
- You got nothing l want to hear!
lf l catch you
sneaking back without me,
they'll never find
all of you to bury!
Bull and bear fight!
Bull and bear fight!
See the great bull that cut up
the mountain lion in Sonora
and emerged triumphant
over large dogs!
Save your souls, heathen scum!
Allow this butchery
to take place on Sunday,
and God will wash his hands of you!
Thank you, parson. Now go.
God is gonna cause the earth to open
and swallow up this nest of evil,
and the Lord ain't fooling.
l hear strange rumblings
in the earth below.
They' sell a lot of tickets
to the bull and bear fight on Sunday.
A lot of gold dust is gonna fall.
But Jack, we don't have
a tunnel under there!
You bloody maniac!
Why didn't you build one?!
We can get under there by Sunday.
There's nothing to it.
Maybe so.
But we could sure use a bit of help.
What about that young farmer?
Where's he?
Horton Fenty? Little did
l realise it, but when he set foot
on the second storey of Willie's
Saloon, history was in the making.
- ls that where he is?
- That's where he always is!
Puffing cigars, drinking,
and knocking on doors.
lf he don't slow down, them girls
are gonna strike for shorter hours.
l'll see if l can catch him
between rooms tonight.
lf we could divert his energy,
we could be through by morning.
Come on, bet.
l'll bet .
- l'll see that and raise you .
- Not for me. l'm out.
Have you seen
the future father of our country?
- Yeah. He went home.
- When will he be back?
- Soon as his folks are asleep.
- Tell him l want to see him.
Leave your door open
and wait your turn.
Here.
Pardon me, sir.
Could you lend me $ ?
Why don't you go home and go to bed?
l was thinking of doing it
the other way around.
- Thank you, sir.
- l'll see your .
Red seven wins again!
Pardon me. Here's your $ back, sir.
And more. Red seven.
You're losing a lot of money,
Pardner. Where do you get it all?
Thieving.
l would give the world to see
How l used to be
When l had no axe to grind
Except for choppin' wood
Day was day, and night was night
Wrong was never right
lt didn't matter where l went
As much as where l stood
l had dreams
Average size
There were stars
ln the skies
Not my eyes
Then l got gold fever
No rompin', rollin'
Girl-and-fellow stuff
Can cure the gold fever
Nothin' can help you
But the yellow stuff
What can stop that itchin'
Ain't around the kitchen
Gold, gold, hooked am l
Susannah, go ahead and cry
Once we all did honest work
Farmer, lawyer, clerk
Married men and single men
And some who ain't too sure
Now l look at them and see
Duplicates of me
Cured of what we suffered from
And sufferin' from the cure
Who can say why we came?
Where's the hope?
Where's the flame?
We're the same
When you've got gold fever
No rompin', rollin'
Girl-and-fellow stuff
Can cure the gold fever
Nothin' can help you
But the yellow stuff
What can stop that itchin'
Ain't around the kitchen
Gold, gold, hooked am l
Susannah, go ahead and cry
Gold fever
Gold fever
Gold fever
Gold fever
Gold fever
Deal.
By God, we made it.
Now they can open the box office.
Here's your day's earnings, Ben.
And here's yours, Pardner.
- Tell Ben something for me.
- He's right there.
Just tell him that l'm moving on
before winter sets in.
He can get himself another Pardner.
You bummers can divide up
anything l got coming here.
Where you heading?
Red Dog. l hear they're
digging it up in chunks there.
By goom, they're always digging
it up in chunks somewhere else.
- Good luck, man.
- Thanks, Jack.
Tell Ben to look in on Elizabeth.
The Fentys are pulling out.
She'll be alone.
You stinkin', rotten heathen scum!
Silence, Judas! Today is Sunday!
And you are going to hear the word
of God whether you like it or not!
- Get out of here!
- And the word of the Lord is doom!
Set the bull on him.
- You can't do that.
- Let him out!
..this town of lust and corruption!
Get out of here.
Out, out, out.
You are not going to fight
that bear on the Sabbath.
l represent the Lord, and the Lord
says get out of this arena.
The Lord will open the earth, and you
will sink into the pit! You hear?!
l said, sink into the pit.
l said, sink into the pit!
- l'll be God damned.
- Hello, parson. Welcome to hell.
Though l walk through
the valley of the shadow of death...
You better run through that valley!
Will you kindly watch where the
hell you're falling, my good man?!
Now where are you going?
Ach du lieber Himmel! Nein!
Have you seen Pardner and Ben?
Pardner and Ben?
Have you seen Pardner and Ben?
- Where's Ben?
- Ben Rumson!
Thy rod and thy staff...
- There he is!
- Go down and get him!
Ben! Where you going?
No Name City, No Name City
The Lord don't like it here
No Name City, No Name City
Your reckonin' day is here
No Name City, No Name City
Here's what he's gonna do
Gobble up this town
And swallow it down
And goodbye to you
Will you go to heaven?
Will you go to hell?
Either repent or fare thee well
God'll take care of No Name City
Comes the end, it won't be pretty
Here it is
l mean, here it is
Here it is
l mean, here it is
Here it is
l mean, here it is
For in heaven or in Erin
Let me live until l die
ln No Name Town
Let me live until l die...
Let's get out of here.
l think this place is crumbling.
Be calm, my dear.
Pardner, where's Ben?
What the hell are you doing there?
l didn't like that town, but it'll
seem funny not having it there.
lt's gonna be a cold,
long, hard winter without it.
l'm not leaving my home, Pardner.
l know that.
Do you have to go? Can't we
all try living the way we used to?
No. No, l can't.
You see, ever since that night
the Fentys came and we were...
You and l were like
a real husband and wife,
l couldn't live with you
any other way.
And you belong to Ben.
He shared you with me.
l didn't share you with him.
Ma'am...
Whoa, mule. Did you know
them farmers was unpacking?
- You mean the Fenty party?
- lt ain't my idea of a party.
Hop in. You can't get out that way.
Come on. Giddy up, mule.
l didn't see them building a church
and court till the town went under.
Neither did l.
- You still heading up to Red Dog?
- Yeah. Still am.
l don't care where we go as long
as l stay ahead of civilisation.
- You moving out, Ben?
- You want me to die?
l can see this valley in a year.
Broke out in white clapboard houses,
schools, churches,
courthouse, museum.
Just one big, bad dream.
- What about Elizabeth?
- l'm gonna miss that woman.
But you can't blast her
out of that cabin.
Funny, here we go and build a town
just the way we like it,
and then we go and sink it.
Giddup, mule!
- Pull up, Ben.
- Whoa, mule. What's the matter?
l'm staying. l have to.
l always said
you had a farmer's mentality,
but you're still the best
pardner there ever was.
You're the only pardner
that ever was.
That makes me the best.
- You gonna say goodbye to Elizabeth?
- No. l don't think l'll do that.
l'll get melancholy enough later on
without picking up an extra load now.
You say something nice
to her for me, Par...
What the hell is your name anyway?
Sylvester Newel.
- Sylvester Newel.
- Yeah, just one ''l''.
That's a good name for a farmer.
- So long, Pardner.
- So long, Ben.
Never liked a man
as much as l liked you.
Ben says goodbye, Elizabeth.
Aren't you going with him?
No, l'm not going anywhere.
Do you think
he'll be all right, Pardner?
Where's he going?
Where am l goin'? l don't know
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
When will l be there? l don't know
When'll l get there? l ain't certain
All that l know is l am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon and come along
Where am l goin'? l don't know
When will l be there? l ain't certain
What will l get?
l ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
l'm on my way
Where am l goin'? l don't know
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
When will l be there? l don't know
When'll l get there? l ain't certain
All that l know
ls l am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am l goin'?
l don't know
When will l be there?
l ain't certain
What will l get?
l ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
We're on our way
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
Gold fever
Gold fever
When will l be there? l don't know
When'll l get there? l ain't certain
All l know is l am on my way
Gold fever
Gold fever
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
And get gold fever
No rompin', rollin'
Girl-and-fellow stuff
Can cure the gold fever
Nothin' can help you
But that yellow stuff
What can stop that itchin'
Ain't around the kitchen
Gold, gold
Gold, gold
Gold
They
Call the wind Maria
Away out here
They got a name
For rain and wind and fire
The rain is Tess
The fire's Joe
And they call the wind
Maria
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
l was born
Under a wanderin' star
Wheels are made for rollin'
Mules are made to pack
l've never seen a sight that
Didn't look better lookin' back
l was born
l was born...
- A million miles away
- Send back the world
There's too much night for me
The sky is much too high
To shelter me
When darkness falls
Four cabin walls
Would be just right for me
A million miles away
Behind
The door
Where am l goin'? l don't know
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
Gold fever
Gold fever
All that l know is l am on my way
You want to see sin
Of the wickedest kind? Here it is
You want to see virtue left behind?
Here it is
Sodom was vice and vice a versa
You want to see where
the vice is worser?
Here it is
l mean, here it is
You want to see life
ln the rottenest way? Here it is
Women and whisky night and day
Here it is
You want to embrace
The golden calf
Ankle and thigh and upper half?
Here it is, l mean, here it is
l don't know
Where am l headin'? l ain't certain
All that l know is l am on my way
Gold fever
Nothin' can help you
But the yellow stuff
What can stop that itchin'
Ain't around the kitchen
Gold, gold, hooked am l
Susannah, go ahead and cry
A million miles away
Behind
The door