The Perfect Man Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the The Perfect Man script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Hilary Duff.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The Perfect Man. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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The Perfect Man Script



[Knocking on door]




Holly, you"ve gotta open up.




L"m not so sure about this.



[Continues knocking]



Come on open the door,

tough guy.






You look awesome. Turn.



I cannot believe

that you talked me

into going to the dance.



I thought you said

you"ve been to like,

a million schools.



Schools, a million.

Dances, zero.



[Door bell ringing]



L"ll get it.









Lt"s a simple matter

of self-preservation.



I mean,

when you move around a lot...



you just don"t let yourself

get attached.



Much less, make plans

to go to school dances.



I hate to break it to you,

but in exactly one week...



your streak is

officially going to end.



Maybe you"re right.









Come in.




We need to talk.











Why? How could you?




Wait, don"t you "Jean" me.

Just calm down.

Please, calm down.



We can be civilized

about this.



L"ll be right back.








Just calm down.

No, why are you

telling me this?



Are you in love with her?

She meant nothing to me.



Well, technically,

they meant nothing to me.









Look on the bright side.

It"s out of my system.



Have a nice day.



Explain this

to me again.



[I Fall to Pieces

by Patsy Cline playing]



Patsy"s back.



It"s packing time.



Does this mean you"re

not going to the dance?



We"ll be gone

by the end of the week.



L"ll stay in touch.






L"ll miss you.






Where are we going

this time?



There"s a spot open

at Dolores" bakery.



You know, l"ve always

wanted to go there...



and you kids

will love Brooklyn.



It"s time

for a new adventure and...



l"m sorry, honey.



I know you were finally

making some friends here.



It"s no biggie.



There"s friends everywhere.




[The Real Thing playing]




Hey, all you bloggers.

It"s me: Girl on the Move.



Well, here"s a big shocker.



My mom got her heart broken.




Yep, we"re starting off

on another big adventure.



That"s my mom"s word

for running away.



"T-l-C" Tic.









Come on,

little Miss Mary Sunshine.



Play the game.

Give us a word

with "tic" in it.


















Thank you.









It"s genetic.




By some miracle...



my mom only got

one speeding ticket

the whole way.



It"s Miss Jean Hamilton.



Are you married?




He should write her a ticket

for reckless flirting.











I will say one thing, though.



For those of you

who haven"t done it yet...



put "Must see

New York skyline"...



on your list of things

to do before you die.




Oh, wow!



Oh, girls!



I bet it"s full of

quaint details, pretty

moldings on the ceilings...



and old hardwood floors.



And charming little

rat droppings

in the breakfast nook.



How delightful.


Cut it out.



It"s going to be perfect.




The sad thing is, l"m actually

getting good at this.



If all else fails,

I have a very

promising future...



as a professional mover.



Our new apartment has history

and character.



And exotic local wildlife.






My mom calls it home.



I call it the

Witness Relocation Program.




Mommy, look!



There it is.


I told you.



The same one

as in Wichita.



It still comes out

every night.



Even in hard times.



To remind us

that every day holds

the potential for beauty.







It"s getting late,

and l"m wiped.



So, time to hit the sheets.



Even though I have no idea

which box they"re in.



Keep reading

my on-line journal

for more days...



in the life

of a teenage gypsy.

L"II be here.



The same me,

just a different zip code.



[Birds chirping]



[Make Room playing]







No! That"s it! L"m not going.

You go with him.






Check her out.


Hey, you.



Yeah, you.



How much your kicks

cost you?






I paid $   for mine.







I pulled them

out of a garbage can

somewhere in Portland.



You win.



See you, freak.



Hey, you"re new here?



Yeah, how"d you know?

Your skin.



My skin looks new?

It looks virgin.



No piercing, no tats.



See, us Brooklyn girls,

we lose our skin virginity

by fifth grade.



In fifth grade,

I was just learning

long division.




Attention, all students.



Check in with your

homeroom monitor each day...



That stinks.



You"re going to

have to take

your yearbook photo...



with all the losers

who missed it

in the fall.



I don"t do yearbook photos.



You have no choice.



It"s like taxes

and death.



Mandatory pain.

If you don"t

do it yourself...



they"ll hunt you down

like an animal

and force you to smile.



Not if l"m not here anymore,

they won"t.



[Bell ringing]



L"m so glad you came.





Now, we keep the mixers

in the back.



But I got to warn you,

they"re all older than God.



They don"t really

mix very well...



they just kind of move

things around.



So I hope

your manual mixer"s

in real good shape.



And watch out

for our no-good oven.



It"s worse than that one

in Chapel Hill.



Off by a good    degrees.



Well, you know me.



L"m off by way more than that.

Yes, you are.



And this is Gloria.

Gloria, this is Jean...



the one I was

telling you about.

Really nice to meet you.






Do you know anything

about wilting rose petals?



The fondant"s too soft.



You need to add

more cornstarch.




See, I told you she was good.



No wonder my rum cakes

always look so drunk.



Help me. I like you.



You never eat the cakes?



You made it on time?

Yeah, l"m here.




Attention, all students.



Talent show auditions

will take place...



this Friday evening

in the auditorium.



Come on out

and show us what you got.



That"s my seat.



Is there assigned seating?



No, but...

Why don"t you take

one of those?



I don"t like sitting up front.



Me, neither.



[All chattering]




Isn"t it big?




Lt"s gorgeous!

Lt"s so heavy.



I need a crane

to lift my finger.



Well, baby,

if he"s any good at all...



you"ll never have to lift

a finger again.



L"m so glad

I listened to you.



He was a customer.



Dolores coached me

through the whole thing.



When to give him

an extra doughnut,

when to hold back.



You never told me that.


I told you.



You just didn"t

want to listen.




So l"ve had a few

bad relationships.




Honey, if ex-boyfriends

were dollars...



you"d be loaded by now.



Now, baby,

what you gotta do is...



Mom, what you gotta do

is sign my enrollment form.



 :   already?



Girls, this is

my daughter, Holly.




L"m going to get my purse.



Look at you!

All grown up.



Got your little speed bumps

and everything.



Welcome to Brooklyn, Holly.




See you girls tomorrow.



Don"t embarrass her.


L"ve known her for so long.



So, tell me. How was it?



It was good.


Tell me more.



Excuse me, real quick,

I was just, I was over here.



I was just wondering,

did it hurt at all?



Did what hurt?



When you fell.

You know, from heaven.



"Cause I was just thinking

with a face like that...



you gotta be an angel, right?



Has that line

ever worked for you?



Well, I got you to laugh,

right? That"s Step One.



L"m Lenny Horton.

L"m the bread manager.



I make, you know, the bread.



We got Italian bread,

French bread, bulky rolls...



different kinds

of kaiser rolls, pita bread.



You like pita bread?

L"m Jean.



This is

my daughter, Holly.



Hey, how you doing, Holly?



Great, and I think we gotta go

before you learn Step Two.



[Givin"up, Givin" up




Lenny, tell me

you didn"t use

the heaven line.




First days at new schools

always feel the same.



Like suddenly

you"re on a new planet,

breathing a new atmosphere.



Can you scan this

into Match. Com?



Mom, l"m busy.



Doing what?



Do you have to

do this right away?



Can"t you just

wait this time...



and see if you meet a guy

the normal way?



Have you seen these lines?



I am in a race against time.



Now get on in there

and scan this thing.



Every second counts.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.



If a student brings

a cell phone to school,

it will be confiscated...



regardless of how...



Excuse me.

I don"t even know

why we"re here.



It"s not like they"re

going to be my teachers

four months from now.



That"s negative imaging,





...are not permitted

in the school building.



Only winter hats

will be permitted between

the months of November...



and February

and kept in your lockers.



Now, l"d like to introduce

to you the Head of our

Guidance Department.



Dr. Charles Fitch.

(boy # )

All right, Fitchy!



(boy # )

Hey, Fitch!



Hey, Dr. Fitch!


Hey there, everyone.



Let me tell you how I run

the Guidance Department.



I have an open-door policy,

which means you can

stop by my office...



whenever you want.



I also have

an open-mind policy.



There are no stupid questions.



So please, if you have

something on your mind,

knock on my door.






Or raise your hands.



Woman in the back.

Go ahead.




Instead of once a year,

have you considered

a monthly forum where...



students and teachers

could exchange thoughts

in an effort to enhance...



communication and bridge gaps?



That"s a...



That"s a great comment,




Miss Hamilton.



I also wondered if you"d

thought of monthly mixers

for single parents.



Not that I don"t want to meet

married parents as well.



I would.



It"s just that sometimes

we single parents...



have different concerns

than married ones.



Different priorities.

If you know what I mean.



And by priorities I mean:



I need to meet a good man.



In that case,

where do I sign up?



[All laughing]




Okay, well,

this was interesting.



Where were we here?



[Water running]



So you"re just not

going to talk to me

for the rest of your life?






Come on, Holly.



Every unmarried parent there

appreciated the suggestion.



Did it ever occur to you

that the point

of the meeting...



wasn"t for the needs

of the single parent?



That the point

of the meeting was maybe

for, I don"t know...



the kids?

Well, sure.



I was just thinking...

About you!



Because you"re always

thinking about you.



[Door slamming]




She"s doing it again.



Only this time,

I can"t smile and play along.



Because the truth is

l"m tired...



of bubble-wrap

and change of address cards,

of figuring out new towns...



and finding new friends.



It"s just not fun anymore.



It"s just not.



[Clearing throat]



You know what

the entire student body...



is talking about this morning?



The Krispy Kreme truck

that got in a wreck

on Eighth Avenue.



There"s donuts




It"s a total free-for-all.



Between the excitement

and the sugar buzz,

everyone"s pretty much...



forgotten everything

that happened

before  :   this morning.




It could have been worse.




Don"t worry, it will be.



It always starts the same.



I mean, she starts out

hopeful, and then

when the perfect man...



doesn"t come around

in two weeks,

she gets desperate...



and hooks up with some loser.



Some guy who"s not even

good enough to mop her floors.



And then,

when it doesn"t work out,

because it never works out...



we pack up and move again,

and there"s nothing

I can do about it.



I can"t even run away

because that"s what

she does.



I thought you said

you didn"t mind

all the moving around.



I didn"t. I mean, I don"t.

I just got here.



The River Bistro.



What are we doing here?



I can"t even afford to pee

in a place like this.



Much less actually eat here.




it"s under control.



My uncle"s the owner.







You"ve got to be kidding.

No, him.



No, you didn"t do that,

did you?



Well, how long

did you keep her waiting?



What? An hour?



Of course she"s mad.



What? Hold on.



This is Holly.




Hi, Holly.

Nice to meet you.



Why wouldn"t she be mad?



Well, there"s only one thing

you can do: Flowers.



And you can"t go cheap,

either. Nope.



A dozen, long-stemmed.



He knows about females.



He knows more about females

than I know about females.



In my opinion,

roses always work, always.



He doesn"t actually

believe that, does he?



But who am I to know?



Call me tomorrow

and let me know

how it worked out. Bye.



Yes, I do believe that.

Don"t you?



That flowers always work?




Not if the guy"s a loser.



The flowers aren"t going to

change anything.



Flowers are

just flowers, right?



Wow, your friend"s

so cynical.



Sounds like

she"s not into romance.



You know what?



This is for you.




Because a flower like this

is perfect.



And giving a woman

a dozen of them,

it"s like saying...



there is such a thing

as perfect.



And it"s out there.



Don"t give up.

You"ll find it.






A yellow rose says

all of that?



Actually a yellow rose

is for your sick grandma.




For a woman, a red rose.



But if you really want

to knock her socks off,

you give her an orchid.



Why? What do orchids say?



You ever seen an orchid?



How it floats in the water,

so delicate and beautiful?



When a woman gets an orchid...



well, she feels like...



she"s floating on a cloud

of infinite possibility.



[People chattering]



I swear l"ll pay you back.



I still don"t get how flowers

from you will fix things.



Well, they"re not flowers,

they"re orchids.



And they"re not from me.

They"re from her perfect man.



Then let him pay.



I would, if he existed.



L"m lost.



Do you remember

what your uncle said?



An orchid will make

my mom feel special.



Which will make her happy.

And not so desperate.



Which would make me happy,

and then everybody wins.








Are you sure

this is a good idea?

L"m sure.



A few flowers

never hurt anyone.



[Pop music playing]




"Annoying mammal."



Six letters.



Hey, Mom.




Boy, am I thirsty.



[Buzzer buzzing]



Was that the buzzer?



Five letters for

"In line to get, maybe."



Mom, wasn"t that

the buzzer?



The Times thinks

they"re so clever.



L"ve got to go take

a shower right now.






Excuse me.



Hello, that"s my flower.



No, it"s not, it"s mine.



Is your name Jean?

No, that"s my girlfriend.



Okay, what"s the card say?



It says,

"To my dearest girlfriend...



"on her birthday,

I love you so..."

Give me my flower back.



[Buzzer buzzing]



[Pop music playing]






Could you be

any more crazy?



I was just

bringing them to you.



[Buzzer buzzing]






Wow! How beautiful.



Who are those for?




Isn"t that weird,

someone left me flowers?




Who? What"s the card say?

Let"s see.



"How many women can look

like a goddess

in a bakery uniform?



"You are a vision."



Who sent them?



"A Secret Admirer."



Who could it be?



Well, obviously,

someone that saw you

at the shop.



Yeah, but how would

he know my name?



Well, you wear a nametag,

don"t you?



Or where I live?

Duh? Google.



Or that I love orchids?



Maybe he followed you home.



It"s very strange.



No, it"s probably scary.



Mom, look, this is

the most romantic thing...



that a man has

ever done for you.



Quit questioning it

and enjoy it.



You are absolutely right.






Why are you wearing jeans

under your robe?



How would you like

to have bruises

all over your body?



Your uncle is a genius.



It worked?

She was singing happy songs!



She never sings happy songs.



Yeah, well,

neither do I, but don"t

send me flowers, okay?



I like it that way.



[People chattering]









Hey, check it out.

Do I got juice or what?

Look at Jean.



A little attention from me

and she"s all poofed up

like a peacock.



It"s the guy peacock

who poofs up.



You know what l"m saying.

It"s an animal thing.



She"s like a lioness letting

the lion know she"s ready.



It"s the guy lion

who poofs up, too.



[School bell ringing]




People, don"t forget

to read Chapters    and   .



There will be

a test on Friday.



Peter, can I see you

a minute, please?




Hurry up!



What"s that?





Is that supposed to be me?



No, it"s somebody else.




The face.



This looks exactly

like my face.



No, it isn"t.



Okay, the face

a little bit.



But that woman

is on a horse.



You"re not on a horse.



That"s a completely

different person.



It"s pretty good.



My dad sponsored

comic book conventions

when I was a kid.



He"d take me.



If you hang around

long enough,

you pick it up.



So you hung out

with your dad a lot?



No. Actually,

after he and my mom

split up...



that"s pretty much

the only thing

we did together.



But, hey,

at least I learned

how to draw, right?



Divorce as a career builder.

That"s nice.



So, hey,

have you ever been?



Divorced? Not yet.



No, to a comic convention.



No, not that, either.



Well, there"s one

coming up.



Six weeks from now.

Westside Convention Center.



It sounds geeky,

but it"s kind of fun.



Yeah. L"m not much

of a planner, you know.



Has anyone been

asking for me?



Like who?

I don"t know.










Hey, Jean.



This has your name

written all over it.



Dolores, you"re crazy.



No! She"s right.

You"re way too good

for this place.



This contest is

for professionals.



I mean, l"m basically

a salesperson.



Explain this to me.



How come when it"s a man

you"re looking at...



you"re blind to his flaws...



but when it"s you,

flaws is all you see?







Is it you?




Yeah, it"s me, babe.









I love orchids. Thank you.



This is a rose.

Which I also love.



So are you free

Saturday night?



What did you have in mind?



Nothing short of

rocking your world, babe.



Well, my world doesn"t

rock that easy.



That"s right,

make him work for it,




That"s on account

of you"ve never had...



your world rocked

by Lenny "The World-Rocker"







Let"s say I check

my social calendar...



and it turns out I am free

Saturday night.



Where are we going?



Only to hear the

greatest American band...



ever to pipe out

a power ballad.



Styx concert.






Something l"ve never done.



You"re a Styx newbie?



These are really hot tickets.



I must really like you.



Okay, so Saturday night.







What? Stop!



Lt"s impossible that

Lenny is your secret admirer.



Nothing"s impossible.



No. Some things are.



Like a man

that sends you an orchid,

the most romantic flower...



and then turns around

and sends you a yellow rose.



That"s the kind of flower...



that someone sends

their sick grandmother

in the hospital.



[Door buzzer buzzing]




L"ll get it.



Mom, please,

can you just listen to me?



I read that note, okay?



A man like that...



a poet, he doesn"t take

a woman to a Styx concert.



Well, it"s different.



So is a peanut butter

and glue sandwich.



That doesn"t mean

you eat it.



Holly, I like this guy.

He seems to like me.



Would it kill you

to give him a chance?



Princess Zoe?




You can tell

l"m a princess from all

my beautiful necklaces.






Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.



Hi, Lenny.



Wow, Jean. Whoa!

Great outfit.



Damn, where did you get that?



Who"s-a-hottie. Com?






All right. So, you got

everything you need?



Yeah. Let me

just put this on.




Hey, Holly, your mom said

that Saturday night

is movie night.



So, what do you say on me...



you take Princess Zoe here,

you guys go see Bambi?



L"m not actually sure

that Bambi is still

in theaters.



Which is such a shame

because l"m just dying

to take...



my  -year-old little sister

to a movie

where the mom gets...



killed by

the evil male hunter.



I want to go see that.



Thank you, Lenny.

That"s very nice of you.



Thank you, Lenny.

That"s very nice of you.



Be good.



Wow! Lt"s great.



Yeah, it"s a     

Pontiac Trans Am

two-door hardtop.



Got the original paint,

the original exhaust.



I re-built the tranny,

tweaked the mill.



And as a matter of fact,

I got...



some new passenger mats

right here,

so would you mind...



just taking your shoes off?

Before you get in?




I should have bought a pair

of those hospital booties.




Wait, do you have any?



[Phone beeping]



Let me guess.



The sick-grandma argument

didn"t fly?




She barely even heard it.



She was too busy

picturing herself

as Mrs. Lenny Hair Band.



He"s got to be derailed.



By what?

I don"t know.



Listen, l"m going to drop Zoe

off at Dolores"...



and l"ll meet you

at the Bistro in   .



Ice cream is going to help.



No, but your uncle will.



He knew exactly what to do

about the orchids...



and he"ll know

what to do next.







[Crowd cheering]




Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto



Mata ahoo Hima de



Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto



Himitsu wo Shiri tai



You"re wondering who I am



Secret, secret,

l"ve got a secret



Machine or mannequin



Lenny, I don"t think

that"s Styx.



No, they"re Kilroy,

they"re a tribute band

to Styx.



Secret, secret,

l"ve got a secret




Yeah, the singer"s not

as good as the original.



But if you close your eyes,

you can"t even

tell the difference.



Yeah, you can tell.



We have a question.



Mel, put those

two tables together.



Kid, can it wait?

L"m a little busy.




No, it"s really important.

It"s for

our school assignment.



Due tomorrow.



We need to know

what the perfect man

would do...



as a follow-up

to the orchid.



Well, can"t we talk

about it tomorrow?



Wait, what could be

more important

than the perfect man?



Duh, perfect shoes.



Lance, please.



Don"t "Lance, please" me.



Take a break

and help these girls out.



You try the new Shiraz...



sit at your table

and let good old Lance

handle the floor.



All right. Five minutes.



Don"t play with your hair

at the bar, Lance.



So, what are you

writing a school paper on,

dating or something?






Well, what class

would that be?




L"m looking

at romantic heroes,

like in literature.



You know...




Right, or Heathcliff.



Taking guys like that...



and comparing them

to their real-life




But you don"t believe

in romance.



L"m stretching.



Well, girls,

l"m really not

an authority on this.






What makes today"s

Perfect man perfect?



What is it that he says

or does that makes him

a woman"s perfect man?



Well, that depends.

Every woman"s different.



But yet, orchids work

for all of them?



Well, as a gesture, they do.

I mean, but that"s just a...



That"s a beginning,




He"s got to have

a deeper connection than that.



He"s got to know

what makes her tick.



Which is why,

if you don"t know

who the woman is...



it"s rather a moot point.



She listens to Patsy Cline

when she"s sad.






Say she does.



Then what?



Patsy Cline"s her sad music?



Wait a minute.






This is very happy music.



Keep it. But you know what?



Even if he does

cheer her up...



he can"t be a guy

that"s afraid of tears.



Babe, I love you



[Lenny sobbing]



Lt"s like he wrote

it about us.




What if she"s into word games?



Scrabble, you know,

stuff like that?



Oh, yeah. Good stuff.



A little wit,

a little wordplay.

I like that.



And if she"s been

dumped a lot? Then what?



A lot?




That"s a tough one.



I guess the perfect guy

would be...



He"d be someone who could...



He could be anywhere

in the world...



but he chooses

to be with her because...



life is better with her

by his side.



What do you think?

Did I pass the test?




Very nice to meet you.




Stop it!



Big problem.



Hey, cutie.

Hi, Amber.



Hey, okay. Designer dress,

bias cut, wedding chic.



Where"s the problem?



Lt"s a small fortune.



No, that"s a lie.

It"s a large fortune.



It"s your day. Do it.







I adore you.




Okay, what about the cake?



You know what, girls?

I got to go to work. Really.



I was thinking

of something layers,

chocolate, strawberry.




Amber, let"s talk

about it tomorrow.



Lance, step away

from the purse.



She"s gorgeous.




Together they look

like the winners of

a genetic lottery. Come on.



[The Best Of Times playing]



[Engine revs]



[Music stops playing]



[Dog barking]



[Baby crying]



Here, let me get this

for you. You got it?




Thanks. Well, Lenny, l...

Whoops, we"re wet. Watch it.



I don"t even know

what to say. It"s been...



Now, Jean,

I had a fantastic time.



I got to tell you,

I really, you know.



I really, I could get

used to this.



You"re a good kisser.




It was a really good time.



All right. So,

l"ll see you at work, okay?



My shoes.

L"m sorry.



[Car driving away]




How was the "  s flashback?



You scared me!



His stupid car is louder

than a jumbo jet.



He probably woke up

the whole entire neighborhood.



Holly, for me, would you

give Lenny a chance?



Mom, for me,

would you go slow this time?



You don"t know

who else is out there.



No, but here"s what I do know:



Tonight I had

a pretty good time.



(Mr. Orbach)

"Oh what a tangled web

we weave



"When first

we practice to deceive!"



Who wants to talk

about what that means?



He needs to write her

a letter.




The perfect man.



(Mr. Orbach)

Adam, care to elucidate?



Yeah, you.



What do you think

Sir Walter Scott

was talking about?



You"re going to

forge a letter?

I have to. If I don"t...



my mom"s going to be

walking down the aisle...



to the sound of Mr. Roboto.



Well, I think, it"s that

lies get complicated.






Usually if you tell a lie,

you have to tell another lie.



Except she"s totally going to

recognize my handwriting.



She won"t recognize mine.




And each lie turns into

another lie...



and another lie, and it

makes things complicated.



Until, eventually, you"re left

with this big mess of lies...



that you can"t

find your way out of.



We"ll do it

right after school.





All right. L"ll buy that.



Alana, what does "tangled web"




(Holly on recorder)

What if she"s into word games?



Scrabble, you know,

stuff like that?



(Ben on recorder)

Oh, yeah. Good stuff.



A little wit,

a little wordplay.

I like that.




I know what l"m doing

borders on delusional...



but what can I say?



Desperate times call

for desperate measures.



Trust me. If you met Lenny...



you"d lick the envelope

and lend me a stamp.



[People chattering]






Where did her troops go?




She needed some quiet time...



to think things out.



What kind of things?



Well, you know,

like what her next step is.



You know,

whether she"s going to form...



a powerful alliance

with a prince or go it alone.



Which is she gonna choose?



I think she"s going to go

with the prince.




Oh, yeah.



He"s kind of a great guy,

you know.



He"s handsome.

He"s very nice.



And the thing with the...




Jousting. Yes.



You should see him joust.

He is like Joe Jouster.



Any time that anybody

ever wants to hang out

with him...



he"s like"Guys,

I can"t. L"ve gotta

practice my jousting."



Do you want to sit?






I made plans

with someone. So...



I thought you weren"t

much of a planner.



Yeah. Right.



Holly? Do you think

we"re going to stay here?



I don"t know. Why?



There"s a big spelling bee

coming up with

all the other schools.



My teacher entered me.



I bet you"re

going to win that. You"re the

best speller I know.



Yeah. Only, it"s not

for a couple of months.



[Door closing]

Well, you never know,

we might still be here.



I hope so.

L"ve never entered anything.



Hi, girls.



Mommy, are you sick?






You don"t look normal.



I got a letter.



What kind of letter?



Lt"s a love letter.



What does it say?



One second.



Hey, you! Give me that!



"My dearest Jean.



"The letters J-E-A-N

used to spell out just

another word for denim."



This guy is great, Mom.



"But, since I found you,

I hear those

four-letter words...



"and all I think about is

another four-letter-word:



"Love. L-O-V-E."







He loves you?

That"s what he said.



Zoe, he"s trying

to be romantic.



"Being near you

is like standing

on a triple word score."



He plays Scrabble.



"Everything matters

three times as much.



"The sun shines three times

as bright...



"and I am three times

as happy."



What"s this?



He gave you a present?

I like him now.



Smart, witty, romantic.



You can"t still think

this guy is Lenny, right?



It is kind of hard to picture

Lenny playing Scrabble.



[I will Learn to Love Again




Come on, Mom, let"s dance.



[Jean whooping]




You go, Mom!













Come on.




I can"t believe it.



And he sent you

a present, too?



Yeah, a CD of a band

l"d never heard of,

but I loved.



It"s like he knows me better

than I know myself.



So why is he hiding?



He"s not hiding.

He"s just...

Just what?




Excuse me? Can you help me?




Dinner"s ready.



There must be something wrong

with him.




Mr. Wonderful.



What? No,

there"s nothing wrong

with him. He"s perfect.



Then why all the secrecy?



Why doesn"t he just come on

over, show his face,

and say hello?



Like a normal person.




Listen to yourself.



The man wants to be

the least bit romantic...



and all of sudden you think

he"s not normal.



How do I know if he is?

And if he is,

what does he look like?



Is he tall, is he short?



Does he have

blond, curly hair,

straight, black hair, what?



I bet he has a big,

fat wart on his nose.






I bet that he"s really,

really handsome.



And how would you know?



He writes like

he"s really handsome.



Honey, have you seen

pictures of Shakespeare?

Bald, skinny.



Does that

even really matter?



Yes. Because you can"t have

a relationship with a man...



you"ve never laid eyes on.



Honey, l"ve got a party of   

coming in a half an hour.



It will only

take a second.



Oh, You can take my picture.

Just be sure

to get my good side.



Over here, Brad Pitt.

Over here, David Spade,

not so cute.



No, l"m just swamped,

l"m sorry.



Hey, Uncle Ben,

what"s that stuff you put

on top of your spinach salad?



Parmesan what?




[Both laugh]



Ben. It"s a nice name.




Dependable. Ben.



And it"s way better

than Lenny. And he"s way cuter

than Lenny.



Don"t you be mean

about Lenny.

He"s a good egg.



Just not the egg for me.



I like this egg.

I want this egg

to be my boyfriend.



When"s he coming over?

As soon as he gets back.



Well, where did he go?



He"s opening up

a new restaurant

in China.



And the phone lines

there are impossible,




So as soon as he gets back,

he"s going to call.



Cool. What else

does the letter say?



That"s private.

Excuse me.










How are we ever going

to get a stamp from China?



We won"t.



Now that he"s traveling,

he asked her to send...



her e-mail address

to his e-mail address.



He has

an e-mail address?






Brooklyn Boy,

this new account

that l"m setting up.



Well, at least

it"s consistent, since

everyone lies in cyberspace.



But we can"t use

the computer at my house

in case my mom finds it.



L"d offer ours,

except my brother"s on

  l ...



buying those

little Yu-Gi-Oh cards on eBay.



Who else?



Lt"s kind of messy.






Lt"s kind of dark.



Oh, yeah.



Should be on.



Thank you so much

for letting me do this.



You must think that l"m crazy,

but at least my mom"s happy,

you know.



It"s such a change...



"cause she usually spends

most of her time depressed

or with idiots.



Maybe I should try it.



My mom only smiles

once a month

when the alimony check comes.









(Holly on recorder)

And if she"s been dumped

a lot? Then what?



(Ben on recorder)

A lot?



That"s a tough one.



I guess the perfect guy

would be...



He could be anywhere

in the world...



but he chooses

to be with her because...



life is better with her

by his side.







Dear Passionate Baker...



l"m spending my days

with very serious

business people...



and I know

I should be listening

to every word they say...



(Ben"s voice)

But all I keep thinking is...



what am I doing

all the way in China?



Unbelievable. Listen to this.

Come on. Let"s go.




Lt"s from Ben.



"I planned this restaurant

before l"d ever laid eyes

on you.



"If I had to do it over...



"l"d buy the building

right next to yours

and open there."



He"d rather be with me.



Why don"t you write him back?






Excuse me.




Dear Brooklyn Boy...



if your food"s half as good

as your letters...



nothing would make me happier

than having your restaurant

on my block.



But l"d hate to deprive

the nation of China...



of that kind of satisfaction.

So open your restaurant

there first.



(Ben"s voice)

Dear Passionate Baker...



as long as

l"m in the kitchen cooking...



it doesn"t matter where I am.




It"s a real specific kind

of satisfaction, isn"t it...



cooking for people?



L"m only a baker,

but I put as much creativity

and passion...



into my cakes

as a painter puts on a canvas.



Granted, when all"s said

and done,

all l"ve made is a cake.



But then again, you can"t eat

the Mona Lisa.



Waiting, the Passionate Baker.



Dear Passionate Baker...



creativity and passion, huh?



L"m starting to figure out

what makes you tick.



And as for the Mona Lisa...



after a few thousand years...



people are going to get tired

of her smile.



But a good fudge brownie

is eternal.



Dear Brooklyn Boy...



l"m modest about some things,

but not this.



I make the best fudge brownies

on the planet.



Well, it just so happens...



I make the best

homemade ice cream.



Ice cream and brownies.



Now that"s a good combo.

That"s all l"m looking for.



My own good combo.



Someone I can bring out

the best in...



and someone that brings out

the best in me.



[Let It Go playing]



How you doing?



Surprise, surprise.



Lenny, there"s something

I need to tell you.



We don"t need words.



I know

what you"re going to say.

And I feel the exact same way.



No, this is important

for me to say.



I met someone...

"And his name is Lenny...



"and he"s rocking my world."

I know.



And I know you"re scared.

L"m scared, too.



But I also know

if the world turned

upside down...



baby, I know you"d always

be around my mind.



The best of times.




These are "the best of times."



I met someone else.






I mean,

I didn"t meet someone,

but I might.



But the perfect man

is standing right here,

next to my cuddles.



Lenny, l"m sorry.

I really am.



You are a great guy.



L"m sorry this wasn"t...



"the best of times."



These are

the worst of times



[keyboard keys clacking]









L"m in the middle of writing

my mom an e-mail

and she just logged on.



IM her.

Should I?



Yeah, It will make Ben

seem more real, won"t it?










Fancy running into you here.




What time is it there?












I thought it would be morning.



It is. Late morning.



What are you doing?



Just thinking.



About what?



You"d be bored.



Try me.



If I stop replying,

you"II know I fell asleep.



Well, I have kids.

Have I mentioned that?



No. That"s great.



Two daughters.

Seven and sixteen.



They"re lucky to have you

as a mom.






You are the only person

on earth who would say that.



And it"s just because

you haven"t met me.



L"ve made

so many mistakes.



Everyone makes mistakes.



Yeah, well,

I make whoppers,

over and over...



and my kids are the ones

who suffer.



It"s not fair.



This wasn"t the plan,

you know.



I had a big future in mind

when I was younger.



I was going to be

a famous baker.



Like Julia Child,

but with desserts.



I was going to go

to a fancy cooking school.



Write cookbooks.



Make people fall in love

with baking again.



I had

all the applications, too.



I was in the middle

of filling them out

when I learned I was pregnant.



I thought

it was good news.



A baby fit into

my happily-ever-after plan

just fine.



But it didn"t fit

into the guy"s.



Or maybe it was me

that didn"t fit.



Whichever. I was on my own.



So you had your kid instead

of fulfilling your dream.



I guess I did.






If you had to do it all over,

would you have gone

to school instead?



Life definitely

would have been easier

if l"d done that.



Gotten my act together first.



Had kids later.

But those kids...



wouldn"t be Holly

and Zoe.



And life

without Holly and Zoe,

I can"t even imagine it.






It"s just no life at all.







Special message...



to all you bloggers out there

being raised by single moms.



Give the old lady a break.



She"s doing the best she can.











Okay, one cherry cake.




that would be great.



$  .  . Thanks.



Thank you. Bye.



[The Girl I Dream About





Can I help you?



[Microphone feedback]



Attention, shoppers.



Need a little pick-me-up?



Why don"t you head on over

to our coffee corner...



and pick yourself up a

half-caf caramel macchiato?



But remember,

coffee can be hot.



It can have an intensity

like you"ve never felt before.



Searing deep into your flesh.




Is he joking?



Your tender, vulnerable...



so-easily-hurt flesh.



So be sure to ask

for a protective sleeve

when you pick up your coffee.



Maybe ask for another one

to slip over your heart.



Thank you.



[Woman laughing]



[Man whistling]



And I bought

these butterfly clips

so that you can use it...



and clip the braids back.

But don"t pull.




It hurts.



Okay, l"m taking Zoe

to her play date, then

l"m going to Gloria"s shower.



Don"t burn the place down.




Wow. Look at you.



Where they having it,

at the Ritz?



Close to it.



Some whoop-de-do spot

named the River Bistro.







Isn"t that way over

everybody"s budget?



Yeah, but Gloria"s

cousin"s wife works

with their dairy guy...



and he got her a deal

on the party room.



I heard the food"s

really bad there.



Everyone who eats there

gets really sick.

Vomiting for days.



L"ll take my chances.

Let"s go, sweetie.



Where is he?

I don"t know.



Maybe the restaurant.

Maybe home.



Okay, you go

to the restaurant. L"m going

to go to his place.



If I see him,

l"ll stall him.

Now, what"s his address?



"To begin again in Egypt."



[Music playing]



Seven letters.



Oh, The Times thinks

they"re so clever.



[Intercom buzzing]





Hey, thank God you"re here.



Who is this?

Lt"s Holly.




Amy"s friend, Holly.



Oh, Holly. Yeah, well,

Amy"s not here.



I know. I came

to see you, actually.



It"s something

really important.



Okay. L"ll buzz you in.



The door"s open up here.








Hey, straight ahead.



[Glass clanking]










This is the most

amazing kitchen...



l"ve ever seen

in my whole entire life.










I know someone that would

just kill for this kitchen.



I bet Amber likes it a lot,





Well, she"s got her finger

on everything I do...



but not this kitchen.



How about you have a seat

and l"ll get you a soda?



Is that okay?




[Bottle opening]




You do The Times crossword

in pen?



Yeah. Is that

a bad thing?



How do you feel

about the moon?



Excuse me?



Do you think

that it"s a little piece

of magic...



that comes out every night,

even when times get hard...



to remind you that every day

holds potential for beauty?



What has Amy told you

about me?




She just said

that you were really smart.



And l"m new to town.



It"s a new school.



I don"t really have a dad

to turn to for advice, either.



So thought l"d ask you.



Well, all right.

I guess I can try to help.



L"m not really a,

you know...



What did you

want to know?



Lt"s nothing.



It"s just, l"m going through

my teenage years.



And that"s confusing.



L"m confused about who I am

and what my purpose is

in life.



What college I should go to.



If I should even go

to college.



L"m trying to resist

peer pressure to do

all sorts of things...



that I know that

I shouldn"t do, but some

of them I kind of want to do.



If you know what I mean.



L"m considering getting

my nose pierced

and my belly button...



and nine other parts

of my body.



But my mom said

she would totally kill me

if I did that...



so now l"m just thinking

about getting a tattoo

on my back.



But it wouldn"t be

really considered my back...



because it would be so low

that you wouldn"t be able

to see it.



Unless I wore my jeans

low enough.

L"m really confused.



[Telephone ringing]











We got big problems

down here.



Huge, massive.




The pilot light on that

big thing that cooks the food?

Lt"s out again.



No, it can"t be broken.

I just bought it

two months ago.



Ben, I am telling you,

the only gas l"m smelling

is coming from Pablo.






Calm down.

L"m coming right now. Goodbye.



Holly, I got a problem

at the restaurant,

so I have to go.



No, you can"t!

Why not?



I mean, can I come?

Yeah, why not? Come on.



L"ve got to go to the bathroom

really bad.



Yeah, well, go.



There"s the bathroom there,

but hurry up.



Right there

through that door.



I love this.






You have got to be

kidding me.



[All laughing]

This isn"t going

to cover anything.



That"s exactly

the point.



[Cell phone ringing]



Houston, we have a problem.



What kind?

The very, very bad kind.



He"s on his way

to the restaurant now.



Oh, my God!

What do we do?



Create a distraction.

A really, really big one.



L"II see you there. Bye.



[Men chattering]



Do we have to take a cab?

I hate cabs.



Maybe we should walk.


What are you, crazy?



We"re going to

the River Bistro.

I get carsick.






Come on,

get your free beer.



Free beer!



[People chattering]



(man # )

Bring on the beer.



(man # )

Yeah, bring on the Beer.



Look, it"s time

for your break.




Hi! How are you?




Some sort of Village People

convention in town?



We saw the sign outside

and we want the free beer.



Free beer?

Why would I give you...

l"d give you free beer.



You look absolutely parched.



Thanks a lot, my friend.



I think l"m going to need

another mimosa...



to open the rest

of these gifts.




L"ll get the waiter.







Hi, Mom.

What are you doing here?



I just, I miss you.







What is this?

What, nothing.



Is this your idea?




No, I would never do...



Well, actually

I would do that,

but I didn"t do it.



Why didn"t I?

The sign says free beer.



We want our free beer. Yeah.




J-E-T-S! Jets!



What"s that?




Look! What a neat gift!






[All laughing]



I feel like a queen.



[Men chanting]



Fellows, we"re not

a sports bar, but one

free beer on the house...



but that"s it.


Free beer!



[Men cheering]



You"re a Jets fan, right?



Oh my God, hello!

I live for West Side Story.



Pablo, what happened?

I don"t know.



Now, these are

brand new stoves.



What about the pizza oven?


Try it.




Okay, I am getting

the waiter.



Does anyone want anything

besides mimosas?



That"s working. It"s got

to be the gas line, right?





White wine.



What happened?

Lt"s not lighting?



What are you doing?





Mom! L"m going to

get the waiter.



Why don"t you sit here

and enjoy your lunch?



Pablo, keep working on it.

I got to call.



Waiter! Excuse me.




L"m calling

from the River Bistro.



We have a problem here.

I need someone right away.



This isn"t working.

I know, what do we do?






Go stall.



Put this on here.



It"s so much more fun

if you accessorize with color.





Please, please forgive me.



[Fire alarm blaring]



[All grunting]



[Woman screaming]



I don"t know.

I got to make sure that...




Front door, everyone.



Floor"s wet.

Be careful, don"t run.



Don"t panic.

Front door. Don"t panic.







Everybody out the front door.




Where"s Holly? Holly?



We may be

in big trouble,

but that rocked!



I swear the CIA

should hire us.



Nobody saw anybody.



I mean, are we great,

or what?



Your uncle does

crossword puzzles in pen.






And his kitchen is,

it"s perfect.






You know even though

he didn"t say it out loud...



I know that he knows that

the moon isn"t just a rock.



What are you

talking about?



There is such a thing

as the perfect man.



And I know exactly

who it is for my mom.




Your Uncle Ben.






And now because

of my stupid scheme,

they can never meet.







L"m so beyond lost.



You were right.



I should have never bought

that orchid.



The whole thing was

just a huge mistake.






I need to ask you

a huge favor.



Hi to you, too.



I need you to break up

with my mom for me.



When did I start

dating her?



Not as you.

As the perfect man,







No way.



Come on. Please.



Just call her at  :  

put on a deep voice

and tell her it"s over.



What"s my reason?



Men never have reasons.

They just split.



Why can"t you just

break up over e-mail?



Because that"s too cold.



Besides, I want her

to hear his voice.



Yeah, but it wouldn"t be

his voice.



It would be mine,

what with him

not existing and all.



Come on, you know

what I mean.

Please, Adam.



If I tell her

that this was all fake,

she"ll be crushed.



And she"ll never

forgive me.



But if he just dumps her,

that she"s used to.
















There"s no way l"m doing this.

May I ask who"s calling?



Holly, can we

just talk about it?




Mom, it"s for you.

No, no, it"s not funny.







This is Ben calling.




As in "Ben" Ben?



I don"t know.



How many Bens do you know?




I mean, one.

I know you.







How is China?






It"s very Chinese.






Lots of Chinese people.




Chinese food.






You"re funny.



And you"re calling me...



from halfway

around the world.



Yes, because

there"s something

that I wanted to tell...




Lt"s really good

to finally hear your voice.



Wait. Are you crying?






God, yes.



Yes, I am,

but only because

l"m happy.






You make me happy.




Know what I mean?



I guess.



Yeah, I do.




God, my whole life...



I mean, everything"s been

so messed up...



and I just started getting

to know you,

and I don"t know, I just...



I started feeling just...










Yes. You know what I mean.

Yeah, I do.



It"s like

all of the bad stuff

that you went through...



that you hated

along the way...



the people

who disappointed you...



the things that didn"t go

the way you wanted.



Suddenly you feel grateful

to them because

they"re the things...



that got you to here.

To this.



Yes. Exactly.




I guess that"s just what"s

it like when you, you know...









Really like someone.



So, you like me?



Yeah. Yeah.



I do. I mean I might even...



You might even what?



Give me a ride, horsey!

No. Not now, Zoe.



I might even...







Love you.












[Bell ringing]






What were you thinking?



That isn"t even close

to what I asked you to do.



I got distracted.



By what? A lobotomy?



Because short of that,

short of you telling me

that somebody came...



and actually removed

your brain,

I can"t even begin to...



By you.



I was distracted by you.



Hey, Mom?




Do you remember

when we first got here...



and you were feeling

so lousy?




What about it?



Well, the thing is...



I just hated seeing you

like that. And...




Lady, when you"re with me

l"m smiling



Give me your love



Your hands build me up

when l"m sinking



Touch me

and my troubles all fade




Will you shut up?




No way.



Lady, from the moment

I saw you



l"m sorry.



Standing all alone




Rock out, buddy!



You gave all the love

that I needed



So shy, like a child

who had grown



You"re my lady



Of the morning






Love shines in your...



[Lenny grunts]



Sparkling clear and lovely



You"re my



What are you...







Encore! Sweet!

Very good.



[Ring clinking]




Hey, take it easy.



Marry me?




Marry him!



[Car diving away]



[Sirens blaring]



Oh, God, please tell me

that you didn"t say yes.



Please tell me

that you said no.

I said l"d think about it.



What? What is there

to think about?



Is there even a jewel

in there?



Lenny is not your soul mate.

Ben is.



Ben is in China. Maybe.



I mean, who really knows?



The only thing I know

for sure about Ben is

he is a beautiful idea.



But you can"t grow old

with a beautiful idea.



Why are you so desperate?



Oh, Holly, it is so easy

for you to judge.



You haven"t had

to go through life alone

with kids.



Nobody to turn to for help.



L"m not complaining.

I made my bed.



But I have been

slugging it out alone

for a heck of a long time.



You two girls

are the best thing

that"s ever happened to me.



In the blink of an eye,

you"ll be grown and gone.



And Lenny"s a sweet guy.

Maybe he"ll be different

than the others.



I don"t want to wind up alone.



Do not unlock that door

till I get back.



[Phone ringing]






[Imitating man"s voice]

Hi, l"m calling

for Miss Jean Hamilton.



Yes, this is Jean.




This is Ben"s secretary. Ben"s

coming back into New York...



and he would like

to see you.




How"s tomorrow afternoon...



under the Brooklyn Bridge




Excellent.  :  .

He"ll see you then.



[Printer printing]



Where"s Ben?

I need to talk to him.

It"s an emergency.



Oh, Too late, little lady.

He"s already gone.




The almighty wedding.



Wedding? What wedding?



Well, Amber and...







I know.

He didn"t really want to

do it...



but she"s hard to say no to.



Where is it?



Liberty Grand Hotel.




So not a party without me.






[Organ playing]



[Dogs barking]



Sorry, guys.



We are gathered here

in the sight of God...



and in the face

of this company...



to join together this man

and this woman...



If anyone present...



knows a reason

why these two should not be

lawfully wedded...



speak now

or forever hold your peace.



He can"t marry her!



[All exclaiming]




What are you doing?

You can"t come in here.



He"s got to marry my mom.



You might not even know it

yet, but you will once

you read these.






It"s pages and pages of proof

that you guys

are soul mates...



and right now

she"s waiting to meet you

under the Brooklyn Bridge.



And when you do,

you"ll know that you guys

are perfect for each other.



You guys both

do the crosswords in pen...



and know what a kitchen

should feel like

and what the moon really is.



And without even meeting her,

you picked out

her favorite song.



And it"s made her happier

than she"s ever been. And...






[People gasping]



You know what,

you guys?



L"m looking for

the Silverman wedding.



Sorry. Carry on.

My bad.




David, l"m so sorry.



(David"s father)

Son, are you all right?







L"m sorry.

I made a mistake, okay?



Well, that"s just

the understatement

of the year.



What are you thinking?



I thought you were

the one marrying Amber.




Lance said...



No! Amber"s one

of my dearest friends.



L"m catering her wedding.



What"s left of it.



What are you doing?

Read these.



No, that"s not an answer.

Yes, it is.



If you"d just read

these e-mails, you"ll see.



There"s someone

that you need to meet.



[Seagulls cawing]



Hi, Mom.

What are you doing here?



I didn"t want you

to think

you"d been stood up.



He"s not coming.




How do you know?

How did you even know

I was here?



I know, because...






Because I made him up.






The flowers and the letters

and the e-mails

and everything.



The phone call?

A friend of mine

did that.



But it wasn"t all made up.

There was a man. There is.



Most of what I wrote

came from him.



So there"s a man out there

laughing at me, too?



No! He doesn"t know.

He thought...



How could you be

so cruel?



I wasn"t trying to be cruel.



I was trying

to make you happy.



Well, you have a lot

to learn about happiness.



You haven"t exactly

showed me a road map, Mom.



Oh, so this is my fault.

I brought this humiliation

on myself.



What? Because we moved

around a little bit?



A little?

Whatever. A lot.



You never seemed to mind.



Yes, I did. You just never

heard any of it

if it wasn"t about you.



That is not true.

I hear everything

you say to me.



You hear,

but you don"t listen.



You never listen

to anything I want.



All right, fine.

What do you want?



I want a mom that sees

in herself what Zoe and I

see every day.



That"s talented

and pretty and funny...



and cooks great

and dances great...



and doesn"t need a man

to be those things.



Okay, so maybe

the perfect man wasn"t real.



But the perfect you is.












L"m sorry that I didn"t

call you back.



L"ve been really busy.

I drew you something.




"Princess Holly."




Well, a side of her anyway.



I realized

she doesn"t need an army

to protect her.



You don"t let anybody close

enough to hurt you

in the first place.



Wait. Holly!



I want to move.




I hate this place.



L"m over it,

and I want to move now.



We"ve moved more times

for you

than I can even count.



And just this once,

I want to move for me.



[Collide playing]




Hi, l"m Adam.

Holly"s friend.



Is she home?



No, she"s out

getting packing boxes.






We"re moving.

Arizona. Red Rocks.



You want her to call?






Thank you.



Could you give this to her?






And tell her she only saw

one side of the drawing.



[Computer beeping]



I was inspired.



I miss you.



Why did you bug out

on me?






Everyone"s scared.



That"s no reason

to run away.




Lt"s what my mom does.



And you want to end up

like your mom?



Some role model.









I heard once that...



Iove is friendship on fire.



That"s how I feel

about you.



Do you really have

to go?






Holly, guess what?

I get to be in a spelling bee.










What are you doing?




Yeah, but why?



I thought that we all agreed

that it was time

for a new adventure.



This is our new adventure.

Staying is our new adventure.






Why can"t you ever do

anything that I want?



I want to be alone.



Nobody wants to be alone.

I do.



Okay, l"m through

with these people

and I want new ones.



Unfortunately, honey pie,

new people are

only new for a day.



After that,

they"re just people.



Who will excite you,

disappoint you...



scare you a little bit.



And, boy, I know how tempting

it is to run away

when that happens.



It"s good for avoiding things.

But the problem is

you end up...



avoiding yourself.



Avoiding people you love.



You end up avoiding life.



So, l"ve decided

to start setting an example

for you girls.



L"m going to try

showing you what

sticking it out looks like.



Really get to know people.



And let people

get to know us.



I don"t promise

to be any good at it,

but I will try.



Because I want you and Zoe

to be better at this

than I am.



I want you to learn

how to let people in.






He"s a sweet boy. I think

it would be worth it.



Turn it over.

Everything always has

two sides.



[Door closing]






You want a bigger ring?


















That is correct.



[People cheering]



















Jets! Jets! Jets!






Looks like

we"re going to

the World Series.



[All cheering]




Ladies and gentlemen,

five minutes.



Five minutes.

We"II be commencing

in five minutes.



First place goes

to Number   

Jean Hamilton.



[All cheering]



You did it, Mommy!




Where? The second one?




Yeah, that"s Mom.



[Bell dinging]



Hi, may I help you?



Yeah, I heard that

you can find...



the best fudge brownies

in the world here.



We try.



L"ll take this.



[Both laugh]







On the house.



No, I have to pay you




How about dinner?



I don"t even know you.



Well, I don"t know

about that.



Thank you.

That is very sweet.



But I don"t think so.



Are you dating someone?

Actually, no.



For the first time

in my life, l"m not.



And, and I think

I should stay this way...



until I get my feet

back on the ground.



I see. Yeah.



It"s nothing personal.

No, of course not.



You know, I should

probably take

a dating moratorium, too.



I recommend it.



Yeah, clean-out-the-closet

sort of thing.



It"s a good idea.



You know,

get my head together and...






So, pick you up Saturday

at  :  ?






[Better Than This playing]




It looks like Mom was right.

Staying turned out to be...



the greatest adventure of all.



And let me tell you,

it has made me do

some crazy things.



Like plan ahead

and paint my room

and hang pictures on the wall.



I mean, I used a nail

and everything.



Hi, come on in.



Sorry l"m late.



There was this

Krispy Kreme truck that

overturned on Eighth Avenue.









Thank you.



Here, let me deal

with that.



It goes...



Relax. What is this?

Like, your first dance

or something?




Can you believe it?



The Teenage Gypsy

has finally settled down.



Now I don"t just

have a homepage.

I have a home.



[I will Learn to Love Again




[Real Life Fairytale





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