Phantasm Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Phantasm script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Don Coscarelli movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Phantasm. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Phantasm Script



Oh, baby.



Oh, Tommy.



Oh, that was great, baby.






Hi, Reg.



How's it goin'?



Tommy's gone.



It's a hell of a way

to end the trio.



It's hard to believe.



Killed himself.



Hey, I'm gonna go visit somebody.



- I'll catch you inside.

- Yeah.



The funeral is about to begin, sir!.









It was a good idea not to let your

little brother come to the funeral...



and see Tommy like this.



Yeah. After Mom and Dad's funeral

he had nightmares for weeks.



!!And forgive us our debts

as we forgive our debtors.



Lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.""



I don't like this place.



Well, say good-bye to Tommy.



Let's just get the hell out of here.



- Hi, Michael.

- Hi. Is your grandmother home?



Sure. Come in.



Grandmother, Michael has returned

and wishes to speak with you.



Grandmother is pleased you've come

and wants to know what's bothering you.



Tell her that l--



She can hear you.



Oh. Yeah.



It's Jody again.



I found out that he's leaving.



I think it's one of

these headers in here.



- Hey, Toby.

- Hey.



- What brings you back?

- Tommy.



Yeah. Yeah, sure.



I just don't get off on funerals, man.

They give me the creeps.



I just wanted to tell you I heard

about your folks. I'm really sorry.



Thank you, man.



In two years I guess you can

just about get over anything.



- I hear you been out on the road.

- Yeah.



- How come you're hanging around here?

- I'm taking care of the kid, you know.



Shit, I'd think after all that action

this town would drive you nuts.



You're damn right.



Now that the kid's   ...



I'm thinking of sending him off

to live with his aunt.



But I'll tell you,

he sure ain't gonna like it.



As it is, he follows me everywhere.

It's like he knows I'm gonna leave.



He's a tough little kid.

I love him.



I'm gonna miss him.



Grandmother has told you before

not to worry.



If he does leave,

he'll take you with him.



I hope she's right.



She always is.



There's something else. I'm really

scared about something that I did.



I was messing around

up at Morningside Cemetery...



and I saw something--

something really scary.



Grandmother wants to play

a little game.




How'd you do that?



Put your hand in the box.



- What's in it?

- Just put your hand in the black box.



Okay, but what's in it?



Hey, this thing really hurts.



Don't fear, Michael.



- I can't get my hand out!

- Don't fear.



- Give me back my hand!

- Don't fear.



It was simply a reflection.



Fear is the killer. That's what

Grandmother wants you to learn.



Boy, that really hurt.



It was all in your mind.






Come and visit us again soon.






- Hi, Reg.

- Writing a new tune?



Working on it.



I'm just sittin' here at midnight



And I'll be sittin' here till noon



You see, my lady left me lonely



Yes, she did



My baby left me blue



Not bad.

We're hot as love, you know.



How you doin'?



Well, let's see.



It's just right up the street.



This is...



kinda spooky, isn't it?



No. It's exciting.



What's the only thing to do

in this town?



Well, it's something that--






What the heck?



Wait here.

It's my little brother.



I think he's got

some kind of a problem.






What's wrong with you, man?



There's something up there.

I know it. I saw it!






Okay, look,

I was following you guys.



I didn't mean any harm, but it's

out there and it's gonna get me.



What's out there?



I don't know!



It was little and brown

and low to the ground.



It's probably just a gopher in heat.



It wasn't any gopher!



Where's that girl, anyway?



She's waiting back there for me,

you idiot!



Did you hear that?



It's only the wind.



You'd better go get her

before it gets her.



You got some kind of an overactive

imagination or something, man?



Look, I tell you what.



You go on home.



I'll talk to you when I get back.



You sure you're gonna be okay?



Get out of here.



Did that chick I left with last night

ever come back in here?



What happened? You get ahold of

something you couldn't handle?



She just ditched out on me,

I guess.



We were...



messin' around

out there at Morningside.



At the funeral parlor?









Is that you?



Break my fuckin' foot, man!



You're not gonna believe this, but

these things were here in the garage...



and they were gonna get me.



Give me a break.



They were jumpin' on the car

and making these weird sounds.



Sure it wasn't that retarded kid Timmy

up the street?



No, it was the same thing

that chased me last night!



What are we gonna do?



You're crazy, man.



Oh, shit.



I gotta talk to you.



And it's in that box?



Y ep.



Okay. I believe you.






What's going on up there?



Well, there's something

I didn't tell you.



I was spying on Tommy's funeral

from the groves, with your binoculars...



and after everybody had left...



that tall man picked up Tommy's coffin

all by himself...



put it in the hearse

and drove off.



You're crazy.

I helped carry that sucker myself.



It must have weighed over     pounds.



Well, I can't figure this thing out.



But I do know one thing--

something weird is going on up there.



We're going for the sheriff.

Go get your evidence.



All right.



That's funny.






The garbage disposal!



Come on.



You ready? Go!



Would you look at that.



Hi, guys.



Thought I'd see what was going on before

the kids got out of summer school.



Mike, you wanna ride along

with me today?



It's pretty warm, and the ice cream's

gonna be flying fast and furious.



Remember how good you were

at crowd control last time.



What's going on here?



What the hell is going on?






You keep that.



Remember, you don't aim a gun at a man

unless you intend to shoot him.



And you don't shoot a man...



unless you intend to kill him.



No warning shots, Mike.



Hey. You listenin' to me?

No warning shots.



Warning shots are bullshit.



You shoot to kill,

or you don't shoot at all.



You'll be safe here.



Just lock all the doors and windows.



And don't follow me.



You sure you're gonna be

okay with that?



I'm just gonna go up there and take

a look around. Nobody's gonna see me.



But, heck, a Colt army issue

will put a man down and keep him there.



Remember that broken basement window

around by the side.



And be careful.



All right, who's in there?






Damn door latch.



Get in.



Uh-oh. Here it comes.



There's nobody driving that mother!



The pump's in the back seat.



Okay, slow down and let him

ride right up on our ass.



There was nobody--

There was nobody driving!



I'm gonna get that bastard!



Oh, Jesus!



All right, speed up.



- I'm gonna put a few in the engine.

- Okay.



Holy shit!



It's one of those dwarfs.



It went right through it.









We got one of 'em.



On Colton, in the groves.



All right.






Bring your truck.



Holy Jesus.



You didn't tell me

the dwarf was Tommy.



Hell, we buried him on Monday

and look what they did to him.



He's only three feet long.

He must still weigh     pounds.



What's all this yellow shit

coming out of his head?




Get him in there.



- Better padlock it.

- Y eah.



Hey, this guy's not gonna leak

all over my ice cream, is he?






- We'll see you back at the house.

- Right.




You boys back yet?



Jesus Christ, Myrtle.



You almost gave me a coronary.



But I just can't figure out why.



Why they're taking these bodies...



and crushing 'em down to half size.



Crushing 'em.



What about Mom and Dad?



They're up there too.



Hey, just forget about that.






I see it all now.



What we gotta do

is snag that tall dude...



and stomp the shit out of him...



and we'll find out

what the hell is going on up there.



We'll lay that sucker out flat and

drive a stake through his goddamn heart!



You gotta be shittin' me, man.

That mother's strong.



Hey, hold on.



First thing is,

I want Mike out of here.



Reg, you take him over to Sally's--

the antique store. He'll be safe there.



Then hustle on back.



And, Mike, no arguments.



Jody sure sounded strange

on the phone.



I hope he's feeling okay.



Sally, did you see

these new settings?



Oh, these are nice.



You know, I think

I'm gonna lock up.



Michael, when you get sleepy,

I've got a bed made up for you in back.



- You have to take me home.

- But why?



No questions.

You must take me home.



Oh, my God.

Pull over.



Stay in the car and don't get out.

I'll be right back.



Michael, wait a minute.



Is that Reggie's truck?



Let's get out of here, quick!



Michael, what is going on?



Just get me home!



What the hell's that?



Oh, shit.



Get out of here.



Don't open it!



They got Sally and Susie.






Up at Morningside.



And Reggie too.



- You better get on up to your room.

- I'm going with you.



I'm not letting you go

by yourself.



Let me go, goddamn it!



Son of a bitch.

You're not letting me go, are ya?



You're never coming back,

you goddamn bastard!



Don't leave me alone!



Open the damn door!



I've been waiting for you.



He has to be in there.



I'm sorry, Daddy...



but we had to.



Oh, my God.



- Jody?

- Yeah?



I opened up his--



Forget it.



Come on.



There's this door down here...



and I'll bet

there's something behind it.



Let's take a look then.



Well, that's the door.



- Hey, man, I don't know--

- Hey!



- Hi, guys.

- Reg. You ain't dead.



No, and I ain't

three foot two yet either.



- What's goin' on?

- Hey, man, I don't know.



I been hidin' in a casket

playin' like a stiff.



But I did find the girls.



I found Sally and Sue...



and a couple of other girls

that I never even saw before.



- Were they dead?

- No.



I snuck 'em out a window. They took off

through the bushes like scared rabbits.



All right.



Well, after you, my friend.



You be my guest, man.









God, Reggie. Look at this.



Don't fear.









God. I just grabbed him there.



- Slaves.

- What?






They're usin' 'em for slaves.



The dwarfs.



And they got to crush 'em

'cause of the gravity.



And the heat.



And this is the door

to their planet.






And these guys

are all ready to go.






- Okay. Stay together.

- Wait a sec. I think I got a lighter.



Quick. Light it up.



Over here. Follow me.



Where are ya?



Aw, shit.



Mike, where are ya?



Jody, where are ya?



Jody, where are ya?



Mike, come on.

We gotta find Reggie.



We gotta find Reggie.



- It's Reggie! We gotta help him!

- No. You can't help him.



He's dead.



There's an old mine shaft...



way down by the--

by the end of Singer's Creek.



A thousand feet straight down.



We just got to figure out

a way to get him up there.



What are we gonna do without Reggie?



Reggie's the last he'll ever get...



'cause we're gonna run that tall bastard

straight down to hell.



Look, you go in and try

and find some more ammo.



I'm gonna haul ass over there

and get rid of that warning barrier...



around the mine shaft

and camouflage it.



Look, lock up the house good, Mike,

and stay in there.



I'll be right back.






You play a good game, boy...



but the game is finished.



Now you die!



Don't fear.



Don't fear.



I hear the sounds.



I know those rocks

aren't gonna hold him.



Not for long.



Hey, you had a dream.



Just a nightmare.



What do you expect? You've hardly slept

since the funeral last week.



I know those rocks

aren't gonna hold him.



First he took Mom and Dad.



Then he took Jody.



Now he's after me.



Mike, that tall man of yours

did not take Jody away.



Jody died in a car wreck.



You had a bad dream.



I know you're scared...



but you're not alone.



I'll take care of you.



I know I can't ever

take Jody's place...



but I'm sure as hell gonna try.



Seemed so real.



You know, partner...



what we need

is a change of scenery.



Why don't you and me hit the road

for a couple of weeks?



Where will we go?



I don't know. I guess we can figure

that one out when we get there.



- Okay.

- Get on upstairs.



Get your gear together...



'cause we leave

when the sun comes up.







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