Plunkett And Macleane Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Plunkett And Macleane script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Jonny Lee Miller movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Plunkett And Macleane. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Plunkett And Macleane Script


  

  

 

                   

(man) Captain James Macleane... 



 

                   

... for drunkenness, unruly behaviour... 



 

                   

... causing an affray

and disturbing the King's peace... 



 

                   

... I hereby sentence you to be placed

in the Knightsbridge debtors'jail... 



 

                   

... and to be held there until you are sober. 



 

                   

Take him away. 



 

                   

(man singing)



 

                   

# You're my whore



 

                   

# You're the one



  

                   

# Even old and poor



  

                   

# My twisted heart adores



  

                   

# Like a dog I will paw...



  

                   

(fluttering)



  

                   

(carriage approaches)



  

                   

Go!



  

                   

Oh, Jesus. Rob!



  

                   

- It's all right, son.

- There was a ruby.



  

                   

I swallowed it to keep it... for myself.



  

                   

I'm sorry.



  

                   

- Come on, son.

- Go! There was a beggar in there.



  

                   

- He might've seen your face. Go!

- Come on, Rob. Come on, my son!



  

                   

- Go! Go! Go, I'm dead.

- Here. Take a bastard with you.



  

                   

Name?



  

                   

Skull Dean.



  

                   

I hanged Skull Dean a month ago.



  

                   

Argh!



  

                   

- Who's your partner?

- Be sure he'll kill you.



  

                   

- Argh!

- Who's your partner?



  

                   

(spits)



  

                   

(whimpers)



  

                   

Argh!



  

                   

Dog!



  

                   

(thunder)



  

                   

All right. All right.



  

                   

Psst!



  

                   

- Don't shoot me. Please! Don't shoot me.

- Now shut up!



  

                   

- I've got money. I can get you money.

- Shut up and dig, you bastard beggar.



  

                   

I'm neither of those things, actually.

I'm the son of a clergyman.



  

                   

Get on with it.



  

                   

Faster.



  

                   

Oh.



  

                   

Jesus Christ.



  

                   

After you'd gone...



  

                   

...soldiers came...



  

                   

...and a man with a dog.

- Mr Chance.



  

                   

- You know him?

- Oh, yeah.



  

                   

I'm gonna fuckin' kill him.



  

                   

I swear.



  

                   

Here.



  

                   

- Do it.

- I'm not very good at this sort of...



  

                   

All right.



  

                   

OK.



  

                   

Do it!



  

                   

(groans)



  

                   

(retches)



  

                   

No, you're too low. Go higher up.



  

                   

It's in his guts.



  

                   

Clean it.



  

                   

Oh, yeah.



  

                   

Oi!



  

                   

Not so fast, vicar's boy.



  

                   

Not my face! Not my face!



  

                   

(gunshot)



  

                   

- Shit.

- Wait. Wait! Wait! Wait!



  

                   

Fuck! Piss off.



  

                   

- No, listen. Wait.

- Bugger off, vicar's boy.



  

                   

Wait! Wait!



  

                   

- We've got to surrender. They'll shoot us.

- Surrender's for wankers.



  

                   

- We surrender!

- (officer) Hold your fire!



  

                   

- Body snatchers, sir.

- Not now!



  

                   

- Jamie?

- Lord Pelham.



  

                   

- Are you freed?

- In a manner of speaking.



  

                   

My debts are to be paid in full.



  

                   

Sorry, Pelham.



  

                   

Mr Harrison, give Captain Macleane

my berth in the royal suite.



  

                   

I'm sure he'll prove a lucrative guest.



  

                   

- It could be arranged.

- Thank you, my lord.



  

                   

Hope it's quick.



  

                   

When one goes, Jamie,

one must go with style.



  

                   

(church bells)



  

                   

Macleane.



  

                   

You can tell a gentleman.



  

                   

And you can tell a bag of scum.



  

                   

(# "Hell" by The Tiger Lilies)



  

                   

After you.



  

                   

Captain.



  

                   

# Climbing up the heavenly stairs



  

                   

# You know where you're going

when you know where



  

                   

# You're going to hell



  

                   

# Yes, you're going to hell



  

                   

# You're going down

a hundred and eighty degrees



  

                   

# You can see when you can see



  

                   

# You're going to hell



  

                   

# Yes, you're going to hell



  

                   

# You were weak, 

you were easy to squeeze



  

                   

# They did with you as they pleased



  

                   

# You're going to hell



  

                   

# Yes, you're going to hell



  

                   

# They're gonna tear you limb from limb



   

                   

# Because of your so-called sin



   

                   

# You're going to hell



   

                   

# Yes, you're going to hell! 



   

                   

Captain Macleane!



   

                   

This man says he's got

urgent business with you.



   

                   

Much obliged to you, Mr Harrison.



   

                   

Saved his life once.

He's followed me like a dog ever since.



   

                   

It's rather sad, actually.



   

                   

What do you want? You've just

seriously compromised my social...



   

                   

- Don't be a prick all your life.

- Gentlemen, please!



   

                   

- If you must be uncouth, do it elsewhere.

- My fault entirely, gentlemen.



   

                   

- Shouldn't have mentioned the French.

- No, perhaps you shouldn't.



   

                   

All right, chinless.

You remember that ruby?



   

                   

What, the one everyone eats?



   

                   

We can buy our way out of this place.



   

                   

Well, where is it?



   

                   

(Plunkett taps stomach)



   

                   

That's marvellous.

My freedom's at the mercy of your bowel...



   

                   

- Our freedom.

- Slip of the tongue.



   

                   

Yeah.



   

                   

I provide the ruby,

you do the talking, right?



   

                   

We have a gentleman's agreement.



   

                   

That's nice.



   

                   

Now, if you'll excuse me, the

jailer's daughter requires my attention.



   

                   

And do help yourself.



   

                   

I recommend the prunes.

Know what I mean?



   

                   

(Macleane) Who ate all the pies?



   

                   

Oh, my angel. My siren's song!



   

                   

You've ambushed me

in the forests of your hair.



   

                   

You've drowned me

in the pools of your eyes.



   

                   

You've shackled me

to the poetry of your lips.



   

                   

Oh, I do like to hear a fine gentleman talk.



   

                   

Lady Tipton went to Hampstead...



   

                   

...with the Duke of Northumberland...



   

                   

...won fifteen hundred...



   

                   

...and left with the Duke of Norfolk.



   

                   

- (posh voice) Oh, really?

- I've heard it a hundred times before!



   

                   

Bastard.



   

                   

I'll wager ten guineas that Macleane

whips his cream before the strumpet.



   

                   

Twenty says the whore squeals first.



   

                   

Thirty guineas says they arrive together.



   

                   

Care to express an opinion?



   

                   

Yes. You've more money than brains.



   

                   

Come on. Eyes shut,

head down, think of England.



   

                   

Come on, the jessie.

Ride him hard. Ride him low.



   

                   

- Oh!

- Oh!



   

                   

- Oh.

- Fuck!



   

                   

Thirty guineas each, gentlemen.



   

                   

Fuck!



   

                   

- (strains)

- Come on.



   

                   

Push, push, push.



   

                   

Go on. Go on, go on, go on.



   

                   

(clunk)



   

                   

Yes.



   

                   

Congratulations. It's a girl.



   

                   

Yeah. Ruby.



   

                   

This goes a long way towards

establishing your innocence, Macleane.



   

                   

Mr Harrison, if wisdom grew on trees,

you would be a bush.



   

                   

- You mock me, sir?

- Mock you, sir?



   

                   

Mock me not, sir. No man mocks me, sir.



   

                   

The wise man mocks the man.

The mocked man mocks the mocker.



   

                   

Right.



   

                   

Good.



   

                   

Leave this with me.



   

                   

(cock crows)



   

                   

Well...



   

                   

...a gentleman always keeps his word.



   

                   

Yeah, but you ain't

no gentleman, are you?



   

                   

Yeah.



   

                   

While you were fucking, I was listening.



   

                   

Yes, well, there you are, you see.



   

                   

No, no.

I mean I was listening to your friends.



   

                   

You see, a wise man

might get rich by listening...



   

                   

...in the right places.



   

                   

I'm sure he might.



   

                   

See, what I'm saying is that

we could prosper together.



   

                   

You and me. Eh?



   

                   

Look, I'm not altogether sure

what you're suggesting, but, you see...



   

                   

...I'm a gentleman

and, well, no offence intended...



   

                   

...but would you mind awfully fucking off?



   

                   

Whoops. Sorry. What to do

with these fucking beggars.



   

                   

Bastards!



   

                   

Ooh, hello.



   

                   

- No, I didn't think so.

- Apparently some sort of child prodigy.



   

                   

- What, on the piano?

- Yes.



   

                   

Course, the problem is...



   

                   

You know the rich...



   

                   

...but you ain't one.



   

                   

They're laughing at ya.



   

                   

- Poppycock.

- I could set you up.



   

                   

Young man.



   

                   

More money than sense.



   

                   

They'd welcome you with open arms.



   

                   

Then you'd discover

who was worth stealing from.



   

                   

When. Where.



   

                   

Right?



   

                   

I'm not sure.



   

                   

I'm sick of taking scraps.



   

                   

I'm talking...



   

                   

...big.



   

                   

- You forget something. I have morals.

- Oh, do ya?



   

                   

Most definitely. Yes, I do.



   

                   

How big?



   

                   

Big.



   

                   

America. One or two big jobs, then I'm off.



   

                   

- Hm. Hardly a place for a gentleman.

- Exactly.



   

                   

I've got the brains, skill...



   

                   

And you can pass yourself off

as a gentleman.



   

                   

You in or out?



   

                   

To pass as a gentleman I would need

a good address, exquisite clothes...



   

                   

...servants, a huge pile of loot.



   

                   

Let's shop.



   

                   

(# "Whore" by The Tiger Lilies)



   

                   

- # You are my whore

- Here we are, sir.



   

                   

# You are the one I adore



   

                   

# You're the one



   

                   

# My heart beats for



   

                   

# You are my whore



   

                   

# Even now, old and poor



   

                   

# You're the one

that my twisted heart beats for



   

                   

# You are my whore



   

                   

# Like the dog, I will gnaw



   

                   

# Like the dog, a dog



   

                   

# I will paw



   

                   

# You are my whore



   

                   

# On my knees on the floor



   

                   

What?



   

                   

# You're the one, the one



   

                   

# I adore



   

                   

# You're the one

that my twisted heart beats for



   

                   

What?



   

                   

The walk?



   

                   

Everyone's doing it this summer.



   

                   

(church bells)



   

                   

Come on, then.



   

                   

Don't let playing the gentleman

go to your head.



   

                   

All of this is business.



   

                   

I wouldn't be seen

dead with you otherwise.



   

                   

Wanker.



   

                   

Oi! Catch.



   

                   

Spend it wisely.



   

                   

- So, who are we looking for?

- Old friend. Knows everyone.



   

                   

Oi! Ten says the black kills the white.



   

                   

- Rochester!

- Hello. You're looking rather dashing.



   

                   

- Last I heard...

- Yes?



   

                   

...you were in the vagrant cage. Again.



   

                   

Vicious rumour.

I have rooms at the Athena.



   

                   

Really? Hm.



   

                   

I must come up and see you sometime.



   

                   

Still swinging both ways, Rochester?



   

                   

Jamie...



   

                   

...I swing every way!



   

                   

Twenty to one, then?



   

                   

Well, hello. And who is this

delightful piece of rough?



   

                   

- My man.

- Really?



   

                   

Don't you just love a juicy cockfight?



   

                   

Hm?



   

                   

Oh, please.



   

                   

Ten guineas, I believe.



   

                   

- Did you know something I didn't?

- I know everything.



   

                   

- So where's the game tonight then?

- Chez moi. 



   

                   

And do bring your man

along with you, won't you?



   

                   

Home, please, and don't spare the horses.



   

                   

- Fuck!

- Oh!



   

                   

Bad luck, Jamie.



   

                   

Mm! I win. I win.



   

                   

Again.



   

                   

There you are, my darling.

Have a chocolate.



   

                   

Not your night, Jamie, hm?



   

                   

I'll win it back.



   

                   

So, who else does

fortune favour this evening?



   

                   

Apart from yourself, that is.



   

                   

The Lord Chief Justice Gibson.



   

                   

It's my impression that

his opponents always let him win.



   

                   

I wonder why.



   

                   

Is he filthy rich or stinking rich?



   

                   

Fucking rich.



   

                   

Well, hello.



   

                   

Do excuse me.



   

                   

Winty, Dixie, how was your concert?



   

                   

- Fucking magic!

- Hang on...



   

                   

- You are not a gentleman.

- I'm sorry?



   

                   

No gentleman would stare

at a lady like that in public.



   

                   

I do beg your pardon.



   

                   

Captain James Macleane at your service.



   

                   

Oh.



   

                   

So you are a gentleman.



   

                   

- Yes.

- What a shame.



   

                   

- Jamie...

- Who was that?



   

                   

Lady Rebecca Gibson.



   

                   

Very choice.



   

                   

Very choosy.



   

                   

Ooh, I'd like to introduce you

to some of my chums. Come on.



   

                   

- All right.

- Geezer.



   

                   

- Nicely.

- Aren't they dear?



   

                   

So who's the big prize?



   

                   

Tonight's big winner, for your information,

is the Lord Chief Justice.



   

                   

He'll be in the park

within the hour. West gate.



   

                   

Good luck.



   

                   

No, we do this bit together.



   

                   

(Plunkett) Let's go.



   

                   

(Gibson) God Almighty, Rebecca.

Lord Sibley's rich, well-proportioned.



   

                   

He sends me to sleep.



   

                   

Well, I dare say he'd keep you awake

if you'd give him half the chance.



   

                   

That's very funny,

but he makes my flesh crawl.



   

                   

My dear, do you think the human race

would continue to reproduce itself...



   

                   

...if it worried about such silly things, hm?



   

                   

(Plunkett) Stand and deliver!



   

                   

Oh.



   

                   

Move!



   

                   

Move it, fat boy. Out!



   

                   

- Out!

- This is preposterous.



   

                   

You, out!



   

                   

- Do you know who I am?

- Yeah. Fill it.



   

                   

- I'll see you hanged.

- Oh, yeah?



   

                   

Get back. Watch his face,

you vicious bitch.



   

                   

Deal with her!



   

                   

That's really no way to talk to a lady.



   

                   

Please accept my most humble apologies...



   

                   

...for this terrible and unnecessarily

violent inconvenience.



   

                   

Would you kindly remove your valuables?



   

                   

The, er...



   

                   

- Take it.

- We don't need it.



   

                   

- I'll take it.

- All right!



   

                   

Take it! Hurry up!



   

                   

I'm sorry. Agh!



   

                   

I'm never bloody doing that again.



   

                   

- I was blinded by you.

- Oh, shut up.



   

                   

What...? Wait!



   

                   

"Late last night the Lord Chief Justice's

coach was held up in Hyde Park."



   

                   

"Lord Gibson and his ward and niece,

Lady Rebecca, were robbed of monies...



   

                   

(mumbles)



   

                   

"One of the two highwaymen

acted with such curious civility...



   

                   

...as to raise suspicion

he might be a gentleman."



   

                   

Might be, could be,

but definitely is a tosser.



   

                   

Surely, Mr Speaker, when the Lord Chief

Justice himself is the victim of robbery...



   

                   

...the time has come for legislation.

The present system is no system at all.



   

                   

We need a Police Act now.



   

                   

I'm obliged to the Honourable gentleman

for raising this important matter...



   

                   

...but, as usual, he evades the issue.



   

                   

I assume, Mr Speaker,

that the Lord Chief Justice...



   

                   

...is referring, in his customary

cheeseparing manner...



   

                   

Cheeseparing!



   

                   

Sir, hang the expense!

The issue is freedom.



   

                   

With a government-controlled police force,

freedom is a lamb led to the slaughter.



   

                   

We all know what you're interested in,

and it certainly isn't freedom!



   

                   

(uproar)



   

                   

Order!



   

                   

Are you never without your Bible,

Mr Chance?



   

                   

It's a great consolation to me

in these wicked times.



   

                   

The prime minister wishes to know how

soon you can catch these highwaymen.



   

                   

Very soon, given adequate means.



   

                   

Mr Chance, may I ask you

in the strictest confidence...



   

                   

What is your opinion

of the Lord Chief Justice?



   

                   

A fine man and a worthy master.



   

                   

But?



   

                   

Well, since you press me...



   

                   

...I must be frank. I think he's tired.



   

                   

The job needs someone more energetic...



   

                   

...with an ear closer to the ground.



   

                   

You know, I do hate to be critical...



   

                   

The prime minister

likes to be kept informed.



   

                   

- Go on, say it.

- Say what?



   

                   

- Six-nil.

- That's right.



   

                   

Don't worry, old man.

You'll get the hang of it.



   

                   

Hand up.



   

                   

Just one thing. When I...



   

                   

(squawk)



   

                   

Nice bit of lunch.



   

                   

They'll all be there, you know.



   

                   

Lord Braithwaite...



   

                   

...one of the richest men in Sussex.



   

                   

Sir Oliver Potter...



   

                   

...Mr "Coffee Beans".



   

                   

Lady Estelle D'Arcy...



   

                   

...as rich as she is horny.



   

                   

Do you think this waistcoat

looks well with these breeches?



   

                   

Absolutely.



   

                   

Enough information

to keep us going for months.



   

                   

Hm. And I was thinking

the blue silk coat as well, yeah?



   

                   

Exactly.



   

                   

And remember...



   

                   

...this is work, not pleasure.



   

                   

Pleasure.



   

                   

What's that?



   

                   

Marvellous.



   

                   

Well, hello!



   

                   

- Dixie!

- Right.



   

                   

Winty!



   

                   

- You remember Jamie Macleane?

- Definitely.



   

                   

Dixon and Winterburn

are renowned for their parties.



   

                   

- Get out of 'ere!

- It's true.



   

                   

- Stop it, go on.

- Shall we?



   

                   

Run away. Behave.



   

                   

(master of ceremonies) The Earl of

Rochester and Captain James Macleane.



   

                   

Beautiful diction. Hello.



   

                   

- Hello.

- The Earl of Lancashire...



   

                   

Hello, ladies. How are you, hm?



   

                   

Ladies.



   

                   

You've turned out very nicely.



   

                   

- Fancy your chances?

- Please!



   

                   

Lady Estelle D'Arcy.



   

                   

Owns half of England.



   

                   

Hello.



   

                   

- It's the ungentlemanly gentleman.

- Yes.



   

                   

- Still staring.

- Apparently so.



   

                   

I'm Rebecca Gibson.



   

                   

James Macleane.



   

                   

- You've hurt your hand.

- You haven't heard?



   

                   

- No?

- I punched a highwayman.



   

                   

Good grief. When did that happen?



   

                   

Last night on our way home

from Rochester's. They stopped our coach.



   

                   

- How dreadful.

- Actually, I nearly beat them off.



   

                   

- Really?

- Yes.



   

                   

Suppose they'll both hang sooner or later.



   

                   

So if you're not a gentleman,

what are you?



   

                   

- What would you like me to be?

- I'd like you to be what you are.



   

                   

Have we met before, sir?



   

                   

No, but I have a very familiar face...



   

                   

...and voice and physique.



   

                   

Captain James Macleane, Lord Gibson,

my uncle. We met at Rochester's.



   

                   

- The devil we did.

- Delighted to make your acquaintance.



   

                   

I suppose he hasn't twopence to rub

together, yet you think he's marvellous.



   

                   

- Well, he doesn't make my flesh crawl.

- Thank you.



   

                   

I'm a good judge of character, Macleane.



   

                   

And in my opinion you're in deficit.



   

                   

That is to say, I see nothing noteworthy...



   

                   

...about your physiognomy

or your general appearance.



   

                   

In summary,

I don't like the cut of your jib.



   

                   

Good night to you, sir. Rebecca.



   

                   

Rebecca!



   

                   

- What happened to your lip?

- My horse threw me.



   

                   

Good night.



   

                   

Jib!



   

                   

- Good evening, Lady Rebecca.

- Mr Chance.



   

                   

You look enchanting as ever.



   

                   

May I say how sorry I am

to hear about last night's misadventure?



   

                   

I promise you

the villains will be disembowelled.



   

                   

That's thoughtful of you.



   

                   

May I say you danced...



   

                   

Oi!



   

                   

Estelle D'Arcy's here.

The richest woman in England.



   

                   

I know.



   

                   

So what the fuck you standing there for?



   

                   

Get on it. Find out

where she keeps her stuff.



   

                   

I've just been dancing with Rebecca.



   

                   

The thought of "getting on"

to Estelle D'Arcy is unthinkable.



   

                   

Well, think of Rebecca and the money.



   

                   

She won't want a pauper.



   

                   

- Show a bit of character!

- All right!



   

                   

Captain James Macleane.



   

                   

At your service.



   

                   

Whatever do you mean?



   

                   

Surely not here.



   

                   

(heavy breathing)



   

                   

Oh, my angel. My siren's song.



   

                   

You've ambushed me

in the forests of your hair.



   

                   

You've drowned me

in the pools of your eyes.



   

                   

You've shackled me...



   

                   

Oh, do shut up!



   

                   

Fuck me!



   

                   

I'm ruined.



   

                   

I am finished! It's all your fault,

you misbegotten pimp.



   

                   

- How was I to know she had the pox?

- (groans)



   

                   

I should have realised.

The richest woman in England.



   

                   

Of course she's got the pox!



   

                   

- Calm down. It'll be worth it.

- Worth it!



   

                   

My John Thomas

is a complete disaster area!



   

                   

- Look!

- I don't wanna look.



   

                   

Look! Look!



   

                   

- Jesus Christ.

- (moans)



   

                   

And you say it'll be worth it!

The whole paraphernalia's on fire!



   

                   

Information is all you care about.

Information, information.



   

                   

America, America, America.



   

                   

I hope you drown on the way!



   

                   

And Rebecca's lost to me.



   

                   

How can I make love to her with the pox?



   

                   

Agh.



   

                   

What's that? Ugh.



   

                   

Plunkett's Patent Pox Cure.



   

                   

Used to be an apothecary, didn't I?



   

                   

- What?

- Does it work?



   

                   

It has been known, yeah.



   

                   

Just be very careful, all right?



   

                   

Typical aristocracy.



   

                   

She gives you the pox...



   

                   

...and then four days later

she's marrying someone else.



   

                   

- Poor bastard.

- Rich bastard.



   

                   

Marriage  la mode, my dear Plunkett.



   

                   

- Love you, darling.

- I love you, too.



   

                   

Love her fortune, that is.



   

                   

(Plunkett) There they are:

the Devonshire diamonds.



   

                   

- See your Rebecca's here.

- Is she?



   

                   

- Where? Where?

- End of the table, right-hand side.



   

                   

Bastard!



   

                   

What rhymes with Rebecca?



   

                   

Pecker. How is the old, er...



   

                   

- Ah, much better, thank you.

- Good.



   

                   

I think it's got bigger,

if you can imagine such a thing.



   

                   

I'd rather not.



   

                   

- Right, let's get going.

- Yes.



   

                   

My new mask.



   

                   

Shall we?



   

                   

Right. Three minutes.



   

                   

(Dixon) Oh, hello! Look at these.



   

                   

Ladies and gentlemen!



   

                   

I crave your attention, but not

half so much as I crave your valuables.



   

                   

- This is part of the entertainment.

- Bloody realistic.



   

                   

Not part of the entertainment.

I am the Gentleman Highwayman.



   

                   

- The most wanted man in England!

- Oh, marvellous.



   

                   

Men and women tremble when they

see me, but for very different reasons.



   

                   

Good, isn't he?



   

                   

- Pin.

- Please don't take that.



   

                   

- It was given to me by my mother.

- I consider it my duty, as a gentleman...



   

                   

...to inform the lucky bridegroom

that his bride is afflicted with the pox.



   

                   

Lies! Lies!



   

                   

How dare you? How dare you

spoil my wedding feast?



   

                   

- Shoot these blackguards!

- You didn't fuck her, did ya?



   

                   

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.



   

                   

You have been a most attentive

and, I trust, rewarding audience.



   

                   

Let's go.



   

                   

Come back!



   

                   

Come back, you thieving shits!



   

                   

Get back here now!



   

                   

Come back!



   

                   

- Come back!

- Wait for me.



   

                   

Come back!



   

                   

Who were those buggers?



   

                   

Buggers with style, my darling.



   

                   

Buggers with style.



   

                   

- Out of my way.

- Party over.



   

                   

Fucking brilliant!



   

                   

Fake!



   

                   

Imitation.



   

                   

Paste.



   

                   

Glass. Fucking aristocracy!



   

                   

Still, I was fabulous...



   

                   

...and it was a bloody good laugh, huh?



   

                   

No more spending,

no more gambling, no more laughing.



   

                   

- All right?

- What are you talking about?



   

                   

We can't afford it.



   

                   

You've clawed your way up

from the gutter, haven't you, Chance?



   

                   

- You could say that, sir.

- I do say that, sir.



   

                   

What's it feel like to look down on your

humble origins from the dizzy heights?



   

                   

Does it make you giddy?



   

                   

Make you fearful of slipping and stumbling

and falling back into the slime?



   

                   

If I may be so bold

as to remind your lordship...



   

                   

That you bribed me

to keep your path clear?



   

                   

Hm. And a damn good job I've made of it.



   

                   

But your inefficiency has caused the

prime minister to turn against us, Chance.



   

                   

We must catch those two to stem the tide.



   

                   

I promise you, sir, within a month...



   

                   

A month!



   

                   

Today, Chance. Now!



   

                   

- You and I stand or fall together.

- Indeed, my lord.



   

                   

I promise you, sir,

they will be caught and punished. I give...



   

                   

Lady Rebecca, you look more radiant

than ever, if I may say so.



   

                   

You are too kind.



   

                   

- I could be kinder.

- Mr Chance...



   

                   

...I do believe you have halitosis.



   

                   

Stand and deliver!



   

                   

- Bugger off!

- Cheers, mate.



   

                   

Stand and...



   

                   

I pay you...



   

                   

...yet you do nothing.



   

                   

I pay you...



   

                   

...yet you do nothing.



   

                   

I pay you.



   

                   

Why?



   

                   

Two highwaymen...



   

                   

...still free and able to rob

and go as they please.



   

                   

And you...



   

                   

You do nothing.



   

                   

- How long has it been, Eddie?

- Nearly a month, Mr Chance.



   

                   

Nearly a month, Mr Chance.



   

                   

What the hell is going on?!



   

                   

Plan of action!



   

                   

I want you to visit

every firework-maker...



   

                   

...every gunpowder warehouse...



   

                   

...every apothecary in London.

- (mutters) There's hundreds of them.



   

                   

- What was that, Joshua?

- Nothing, Mr Chance. Nothing.



   

                   

- On your knees.

- I didn't say anything.



   

                   

Kneel down.



   

                   

Mr Chance, I didn't...



   

                   

Open your mouth.



   

                   

Open your mouth!



   

                   

Swallow it!



   

                   

- Swallow it.

- (chokes)



   

                   

(groans)



   

                   

We must...



   

                   

...have discipline.



   

                   

Dog's bollocks! That was close.



   

                   

Yeah.



   

                   

- We can't stay here long.

- No, no.



   

                   

Long enough to celebrate.



   

                   

Hm?



   

                   

Yeah.



   

                   

(laughter)



   

                   

- (Macleane) Yes?

- It's me. I wanna go.



   

                   

- Yes. In a minute.

- Well, hurry up!



   

                   

It's Rebecca...



   

                   

(sobbing)



   

                   

- Please, sir, don't.

- Come back!



   

                   

Fucking leave her.



   

                   

You fucking leave her!



   

                   

Fuck!



   

                   

Oh! Agh!



   

                   

Plunkett, no! No! No!



   

                   

Not here, not now!



   

                   

What's going on here?



   

                   

This vermin threatened me with a knife.



   

                   

Yeah? Next time it won't be a threat.



   

                   

I demand satisfaction, sir.



   

                   

Tomorrow... at dawn.



   

                   

- He is my servant. Etiquette forbids it.

- Fuck that!



   

                   

Oi!



   

                   

(crows cawing)



   

                   

Ten paces, please, gentlemen,

and turn and wait.



   

                   

I will then release this handkerchief...



   

                   

...whereupon you may advance

and shoot in your own time.



   

                   

Proceed, gentlemen.



   

                   

- What a shot! What a shot!

- Yes!



   

                   

Thank the Lord!



   

                   

My turn.



   

                   

I believe I am entitled to my shot.



   

                   

But he bloody cheated!



   

                   

Let him take it.



   

                   

Shit.



   

                   

Shit!



   

                   

Agh!



   

                   

Oh, my God!

He's hurt. He's hurt. He's hurt.



   

                   

He's all right.



   

                   

Where on earth did you find him?



   

                   

The church, actually. Yes.

He was on the verge of taking holy orders.



   

                   

Oh. And did you instruct him

in the use of the pistol?



   

                   

Everything he knows of the martial arts,

madam, he learnt from me.



   

                   

More tea, Mr Plunkett?



   

                   

- Fruit cake?

- No, I'm all right, thanks.



   

                   

I understand the gentleman with whom

you duelled is still thirsting for your blood.



   

                   

I'll drink him under the table.



   

                   

Quel courage, Monsieur Plunkett. 



   

                   

When a brave new gentleman

comes upon the scene...



   

                   

...we ladies are quite aflutter.



   

                   

Mr Plunkett...



   

                   

...have you rescued

any maidens in distress?



   

                   

- Well, erm...

- I'm sure he would have rescued me...



   

                   

...had he been at hand

when I was ambushed by highwaymen.



   

                   

Plunkett prefers rescuing innocent dragons

from fiery maidens.



   

                   

- Whereas I would have been delighted...

- Oh!



   

                   

My dear Rebecca, that robbery

must have been dreadful for you.



   

                   

Did they take everything?



   

                   

Yes.



   

                   

All my precious jewellery.



   

                   

You were robbed by the so-called

Gentleman Highwayman, were you not?



   

                   

Yes.



   

                   

Well, that must be some consolation.



   

                   

Indeed.



   

                   

The Gentleman Highwayman. How exciting.



   

                   

I mean, he could be...



   

                   

Bit of cake.



   

                   

I didn't tell her.



   

                   

Good as.



   

                   

This "Gentleman Highwayman" shit's

messed you up.



   

                   

Shut up!



   

                   

- This is gonna be the last one.

- I'm just beginning to get the hang of it.



   

                   

You'll end up on the wrong end

of a Tyburn knot because of your lust.



   

                   

My love,  Plunkett. Love!



   

                   

We're supposed to be

chasing money, not women.



   

                   

- Have you never been in love, Plunkett?

- No.



   

                   

Never.



   

                   

All right?



   

                   

(carriage approaches)



   

                   

- Stand and fucking deliver!

- Drop it! Now!



   

                   

Off! Down! Get down!



   

                   

Other side.



   

                   

Other side. Fucking stay there.



   

                   

- Oh, merde. 

- Hop out, Froggy. Out!



   

                   

- Out!

- Let me, let me, let me.



   

                   

Uh, bonjour, monsieur. 

Bienvenu sur I'Angleterre. 



   

                   

Je suis un gentilhomme de la route. 

Ne make pas noise and tout will be bon. 



   

                   

- Quoi? Que dites-vous? 

- All je veux are vos valuables.



   

                   

Please speak English. Murder me,

but not my language, you know.



   

                   

I hope they hang you in Tyburn

for your bad French.



   

                   

Merci, monsieur.  I hope it rains

every day of your fucking visit.



   

                   

Oh!



   

                   

Oh, fuck me! Let's go!



   

                   

(screams)



   

                   

Run!



   

                   

Come on, son.



   

                   

- Come on.

- (Macleane moans)



   

                   

- Sh, sh, sh!

- Agh! Agh!



   

                   

(moans softly)



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Mr Chance, sir.



   

                   

Right, come on.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Take it.



   

                   

There we are.



   

                   

That's it.



   

                   

So where did you learn to be a nurse?



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Who was she?



   

                   

Hm?



   

                   

A couple of years ago I had a shop.



   

                   

Apothecary stuff.



   

                   

Lost it.



   

                   

Ended up on the streets.



   

                   

And Mary got sick and died.



   

                   

I'm sorry.



   

                   

Right. I'm off to get the tickets.



   

                   

What tickets?



   

                   

For America.



   

                   

Managed to save enough for both of us.



   

                   

- Plunkett.

- What?



   

                   

You saved my life.



   

                   

- In view...

- (uproar)



   

                   

In view of last night's vicious

assassination of the French ambassador...



   

                   

...I intend...



   

                   

I intend to bring this matter

to a satisfactory conclusion forthwith.



   

                   

The prime minister is increasingly

concerned with Lord Gibson's health.



   

                   

Use whatever means necessary to take

these scoundrels by the end of the week...



   

                   

...and we'll find a way

to pardon your past indiscretions...



   

                   

...and provide you

with a more elevated title.



   

                   

Do we understand each other,

thief-taker-general?



   

                   

I'm going to be generous, Gibson.



   

                   

I'm giving you two days

to leave the country.



   

                   

What?



   

                   

You're finished, my lord.



   

                   

- Face it.

- How dare you, you insolent...



   

                   

I dare because I have

the prime minister's authority.



   

                   

Hah! Never.



   

                   

Don't annoy me, Gibson...



   

                   

...or I'll send you straight to Tyburn.

- Tyburn! Me?!



   

                   

- I won't go alone, I promise you that.

- I have absolution... from above.



   

                   

How does it feel, my lord,

to be staring into the abyss?



   

                   

You feel giddy?



   

                   

Now, let's be sensible.

We could still be mutually advantageous.



   

                   

After all we've been through.



   

                   

Let bygones be bygones, eh?



   

                   

I'll put two men at your disposal

to ensure safe passage.



   

                   

Be grateful.



   

                   

You're a very lucky man.



   

                   

What a pretty little eavesdropper.



   

                   

I can see a little

"breaking in" is required.



   

                   

But no filly was ever the worse for that.



   

                   

I like your tears.



   

                   

They excite me.



   

                   

I hope you shed many more.



   

                   

Eddie.



   

                   

Lord Gibson and Lady Rebecca.



   

                   

Watch them.



   

                   

Rebecca!



   

                   

Listen to me.



   

                   

My uncle's ruined.

We're fleeing to France tomorrow night.



   

                   

I'll be with him and so will

the greater part of our fortunes.



   

                   

- Wait a minute.

- Chance is providing an escort to Dover.



   

                   

- If you and Plunkett hold up the coach...

- What are you talking about?



   

                   

I know who you are.



   

                   

Will you do it?



   

                   

Yes or no?



   

                   

Yes, I'll do it.



   

                   

(groans)



   

                   

- You're hurt.

- It's not serious.



   

                   

(creaking)



   

                   

Plunkett.



   

                   

What's she doing here?



   

                   

No, wait, Rebecca. Tell him.



   

                   

Tell him!



   

                   

We plan to leave London

tomorrow night at ten o'clock.



   

                   

I will be on that coach whatever happens.



   

                   

Goodbye.



   

                   

- Will...

- Got the tickets.



   

                   

- Listen.

- No, don't.



   

                   

- Listen.

- I don't wanna know!



   

                   

You're on heat. You can't even

fucking think straight!



   

                   

Plunkett! Please!



   

                   

The answer's no.



   

                   

(whispers) Please.



   

                   

Good morning. What a hive of activity.



   

                   

- Chance, what news?

- Change of plan.



   

                   

Whoa! Steady on there.



   

                   

Steady.



   

                   

Fuck!



   

                   

She ain't here.



   

                   

Let's go!



   

                   

- Where's Rebecca?

- Let's go.



   

                   

- I know you.

- Where's Rebecca? Out!



   

                   

Macleane, hurry up!



   

                   

Where the fuck is she?



   

                   

You incompetent imbecile!

What happened to my escort?



   

                   

- I might have been killed!

- You were.



   

                   

Rebecca didn't betray us. I know it!



   

                   

I'm gonna find her. Are you coming?



   

                   

I'll tell you what...



   

                   

...here's your ticket.



   

                   

I need your help.



   

                   

It's gone!



   

                   

For months I've been taking it.



   

                   

I spent it on clothes, I spent it on drink,

and the rest I lost at cards.



   

                   

There isn't a penny left.



   

                   

Fucking scum!



   

                   

We can still get Gibson's money.



   

                   

It's not about the money.



   

                   

Rebecca!



   

                   

Rebecca!



   

                   

Captain James Macleane.



   

                   

This court has found you guilty...



   

                   

...of the murder of

Sydney Henry, Lord Gibson.



   

                   

Do you have anything to say

before I pass sentence?



   

                   

Yes, m'lud.



   

                   

My lords, ladies and gentlemen...



   

                   

...I didn't kill Lord Gibson.



   

                   

More's the pity.



   

                   

But I am guilty of one thing,

for which I am heartily sorry.



   

                   

Namely, cheating my friend

and fellow highwayman.



   

                   

A man who has more nobility of soul

in his little finger...



   

                   

...than any of you bloated bastards has

in your entire bodies.



   

                   

(uproar)



   

                   

(bangs gavel) Silence! Silence.



   

                   

The law requires...



   

                   

...that thou should return hence

to the place whence thou camest...



   

                   

...and from thence

to a place of execution...



   

                   

...where thou shall hang by the neck...



   

                   

...until the body be dead...



   

                   

...dead, dead!



   

                   

Lord have mercy on thy soul.



   

                   

(seagulls crying)



   

                   

(door opens)



   

                   

I'm sorry...



   

                   

(sobs) I didn't betray you.



   

                   

Don't worry. You'll see him tomorrow.



   

                   

Dancing the Tyburn jig.



   

                   

Rebecca.



   

                   

- (drumbeat)

- Walk on. Go on.



   

                   

It does not bring pleasure to my heart



   

                   

to stand and deliver the sorrowful tale



   

                   

of the man who now stands

in the rattling cart



   

                   

Oh, for a week, for a night, for a day



   

                   

For the thrash of the wind

and the pistol's bray



   

                   

Friends, for that right would you gladly be



   

                   

Dancing with the devil

on the Tyburn gallows tree



   

                   

Proceed.



   

                   

Cold-handed deliverer

Feeder of flies



   

                   

Accomplice to murderer

Mother of shame



   

                   

Gallows tree

Gallows tree



   

                   

Bastard of history



   

                   

Taker of gentlemen



   

                   

Sweet James Macleane



   

                   

(man says prayer in Latin)



   

                   

Open your eyes!



   

                   

(chokes)



   

                   

Hold her!



   

                   

Ooh!



   

                   

Bless you for that, my darling.



   

                   

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Is he all right? Is he breathing?



   

                   

Rebecca, leave him, leave him.



   

                   

Get him up! Get him up!



   

                   

(coughs and splutters)



   

                   

- You took your time.

- I weren't sure you were worth it.



   

                   

Come on. In there quickly.



   

                   

Get him inside.



   

                   

- Rochester...

- You know, my darling, I won't.



   

                   

The New World... too far.



   

                   

Too big. Too primitive.



   

                   

No, my place is here,

corrupting the young.



   

                   

You all right?



   

                   

Yeah.



   

                   

- What is it?

- Unfinished business.



   

                   

- Don't be silly. We're almost away!

- I'll catch you up.



   

                   

- Oh, for Christ's sake!

- Just go on.



   

                   

Go. Go.



   

                   

Come on. Come on! Come on!



   

                   

(groans)



   

                   

Does that hurt?



   

                   

Only when I laugh.



   

                   

- Where's Macleane?

- Oi!



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Well, we've had

an exciting day, haven't we?



   

                   

Stiff drink and straight to bed for me.



   

                   

Back to the real world.



   

                   

I could quite get used to

this adventure lark.



   

                   

(# "Houses in Motion"

by Lewis Parker & Helen White)



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# I'm thinking about empty motion



   

                   

# Motion, motion, motion



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# Just barely enough to be living



   

                   

# We're livin' life, life



   

                   

# Get outta the way



   

                   

# This isn't the time



   

                   

# Not talking about



   

                   

# I'm turning around



   

                   

# You notice there's nothing

around you, round you



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# Divide and dissolve



   

                   

# Never get to say too much



   

                   

# Never get to talk



   

                   

# Tell us a little bit, but not too much



   

                   

# Right about then



   

                   

# Is where she gives it up



   

                   

# She has closed her eyes



   

                   

# She's given up hope



   

                   

# I turn myself around



   

                   

# Moving backwards and forwards



   

                   

# You're moving twice as much as before



   

                   

# I keep on diggin'

to the centre of the earth



   

                   

# I'll be down there, movin' in the room



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# I hate to be dreaming in motion



   

                   

# Motion, motion, motion



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# Just barely enough to be living



   

                   

# We're livin' life, life, life



   

                   

# Get outta the way



   

                   

# This isn't the time



   

                   

# Not talking about



   

                   

# I'm turning around



   

                   

# I'm keeping my fingers

behind me, 'hind me



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# Divide and dissolve



   

                   

# Immortal force, clouds of emotion



   

                   

# I see you feel the movements

of the ocean, the endless devotion



   

                   

# Lost in the mystery

These shoes were given to me



   

                   

# It's through here

I shine the light in the air



   

                   

# This is the ancient ways of the Jedi



   

                   

# The life is ways

The ways is known as I come



   

                   

# Everything is life to the elements



   

                   

# It's through here

For a thousand years of splendour



   

                   

# Try to see past all the terror



   

                   

# And I won't surrender on these paths



   

                   

# Heard the last, 

but now that's in the past



   

                   

# The promised land, 

but the journey's never-ending



   

                   

# All this is strange music

just blended in a haze



   

                   

# I always gaze at the stars



   

                   

# They camouflage

the master race in charades



   

                   

# Through the conflict between us

I'll read your aura



   

                   

# Conjure visions, 

scattered pictures, the sorcerer



   

                   

# Surround your entire cipher with satin



   

                   

# Start buggin' out like my     crashin'



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# I'm visiting houses in motion



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# Just barely enough to be living



   

                   

# Motion, motion, motion



   

                   

# Get outta the way



   

                   

# This isn't the time



   

                   

# Not talking about



   

                   

# I'm turning around



   

                   

# Two different houses

surround you, 'round you



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# Divide and dissolve



   

                   

# I'm walking a line



   

                   

# I'm visiting houses in motion



   

                   

# Walking that line



   

                   

# Walking that line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Let your soul just shine



   

                   

# On the endless line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Walking that line



   

                   

# That line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Let your soul just shine



   

                   

# On the endless line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line



   

                   

# Walking that line



   

                   

# Walking that line



   

                   

# Keep walking that line











  

 
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