The Prince And Me Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the The Prince And Me script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Julia Stiles movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The Prince And Me. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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The Prince And Me Script






Thanks for helping this summer.

Have a great year at school, Paige.



Hey, what happened

to the Lamborghini?



I'm quite bored of the Lamborghini.

Ready to lose?



I've won Grand Prix.

What have you won?






And you're gonna beat me

in your mummy's limo?



To be correct, Mr. Irvine, I'm going

to beat you in my mummy's limo,



to which I've made

numerous modifications.



So you should be afraid, my friend.



Not half as afraid as you're gonna

be when your mummy finds out.



- Hey, how was it?

- Oh, it was great.



They had a going-away

Danish for me.



And as soon as I blew out the candle,

Trey Carlson came in



with this huge bloody gash

on his forehead.



- He tried to give himself a haircut.

- Good going, Trey.



The cool part was they let me

stitch it up for him.



- Time check?

-  :  .



Racers ready?












Look out!






Great dress.



Good race, Your Highness.



Not exactly the way

I wanted to win.



It'd been better if you hadn't

lifted your foot off at the end.



- No, you did great.

- Congratulations.



- And then there were two.

- It's not that bad.



No, they seem really happy. I...



I just remember how much we used

to talk about getting out there



and following our dreams.



There's a whole world out there to see.

You too. We're the last holdouts.



Todd and I are engaged.



- Don't hate me.

- That's great.



- Why would I hate you? No.

- Oh, thanks.



- OK, ladies.

- Oh, look.



Betsy's throwing the bouquet.



Are you ready, ladies?



One, two, three.



I caught it!



- He is late every time.

- Yes.



It's OK, I've got it.

Thank you.



Thank you.



- Edvard.

- Hi, Ari.



His Majesty, the king.

Her Majesty, the queen.



His Royal Highness, the crown prince.



Her Royal Highness,

Princess Arabella.



Here we are, honey.



- Hope to see you at Thanksgiving.

- All right, I love you, Dad.



- Bye, sweetheart.

- Bye. Thanks.



- Hello?

- Paige, hey.



- How's it going?

- Oh, my God.



Good. How psyched

are you to be back?



Yeah, but this year we do the dishes

every three weeks



whether we need to or not.



And by "we", I mean you.



Oh, look what my dad

hooked me up with.



Yeah. He may be totally

inaccessible emotionally,



but he does know how

to install some really cool crap.



Well, enjoy it. I'll be lucky

if I'm ever home this year.



I've got a five-hour chem lab, plus

med-school applications and work.



Hey, hey, classes

haven't even started yet.



Before you start saving the world,



you could come to the Rat

with me, Stacey and Amanda.



So at this point in the trip, me and

the other tour leaders are just...



- We're fed up with all these

- OK, OK.



rich, snotty kids

and all of their complaining.



So one night in Rome,

we go to this bar,



and I kind of slept with a   -year-old

cheesy ltalian guy.



Forty-five? Wow.



Well, he was cute

in a Mussolini kind of way.



- What are you gals talking about?

- Our love for older, virile men like you.



A few more of these and believe me,

I'll be the best-looking guy in here.



- Then you better take Stacey's away.

- Oh, yes, please.



- You want back on the work rotation?

- Yeah, definitely.



- How's tomorrow?

- How's Thursday?



- How's tomorrow?

- Tomorrow it is.



All right.

This round's on me.



- Thanks.

- Thanks.



- Cheers.

- Cheers.



I can't believe you got

to see all of Europe.



I wish I could fast-forward

through the next five years...



I hate when she starts

to talk about her life plan.



- It makes me feel so unfocused.

- Tell me about it.



I'm a senior, and I've changed

my major, like, six times.



- I don't even have a major.

- Oh, please.



By the time you get one,

Paige will be done with Johns Hopkins.



- That's if I get in.

- You'll get in.



No. Not after this semester.

I have to take Shakespeare.



Some sort of stupid

humanities requirement.



That's it. The next time you talk

about classes or work,



you have to do a shot.



It's just that Shakespeare

is so useless...






- Hey, guys, I need this.

- Hey.



- Here you go.

- No.



- No, come on.

- Oh, yeah, definitely.



- What is this?

- Drink it. Drink it.



- It's your first night.

- Cheers.



- Cheers.

- That's good.



Oh, I hate you guys.



Did you read all the prepared

research materials?



Of course.



Edvard, one day,

you will be the    st ruler



of the longest continuous monarchy



- in the history of the world.

- Yes, I'm aware, Father.



It's a monarchy that still requires

the participation of the king



in the workings and decisions

of the government.



So if I ask you if you're prepared,

it's not an insignificant question.



Father, I'm prepared, OK?



His Majesty, the king.



And His Royal Highness,

the crown prince.



- Your Majesty.

- I'm all right.



- Prime minister.

- Your Royal Highness.



OK, ladies and gentlemen,

let's get started.



But a six-percent pay increase

is the least



the national unions will accept.



- That's unconscionable.

- Look.



If we can't agree, how are we

gonna get the two sides together?



This is blackmail.



All right, we'll have to make

other concessions then.



Is there no end

to the workers' demands?



Our government must refuse

to give in to the unions at all costs.



I appreciate your ardor, Thomas,



but I assure you they are very serious

about the deadline.



Without concessions,

they will strike.



A nationwide strike will be

disastrous for our economy.



Edvard, I'm sure we'd all like

to know what you think.



Sorry, what was the question?



I was... I was busy.



I see.



I don't know why my father

insists I go with him.



- I've always detested those meetings.

- Yes, sir.



Perhaps it has something

to do with the fact that,



I don't know, you're going

to be king someday.



Yes, don't remind me, Soren.



You're very lucky you're not me,

let me tell you.



If you want to change places, sir,

call me day or night.



You know my mother's

gonna go crazy



when she finds out

what happened today.



It's a speech I definitely

don't want to hear.



I need to get out of Denmark,

Soren. I need to clear my head.



Oh, yes, and where would you like

to clear your head this time, sir?



I hear the slopes are opening

early in St. Moritz this year.



Monte Carlo has opened a new casino.



Dropping a few hundred thousand

kroner always seems



to have worked miracles in the past.




The following commercial...



Wait, no time for that.

Watch this!



For years, Desperate Dan

has been talking real women



into doing the most outrageous things.

And he's captured it all on tape.



And now Desperate Dan takes you

to America's heartland



to bring you Wild College Girls:



The Girls of Wisconsin.



Oh, please. Come on, take your

top off for us. Come on, Just once.



- Wisconsin?

- Yes.



Why there, son?



Because I've never spent

much time in America before.



And I'd rather go

to the heart of the country



where I can meet ordinary Americans.



Plus, there's a well-respected

university with interesting programs



and a wide variety

of extracurricular activities.



But this is absurd.



Look, I see this as a real

opportunity to find myself.



Oh, Edvard, please.



This is just another

in a series of escapades.



Which, by the way, we finance.



Inevitably ending up with you

in some tabloid, embarrassing us



and forcing you to come back

to the palace to hide yourself



until you convince us you have to go

and find yourself yet again.



If I'm the embarrassment

you believe me to be,



then maybe you should cut me off.



- Well, what are you saying?

- I'm saying I want to go and I'm going.



And I neither require your money

nor your permission.



- Edvard!

- I will do this on my own, Mother!



Let him go.



We've tried evertyhing else,

and it doesn't work, so...



Frankly, it's encouraging

he even wants to try.



Soren. You will go with him.



Me, Your Majesty?



On my own?



Surely there's a caretaker

better suited than...



I will arrange for our departure.



- Hey!

- Slow down.



Just look at them all, Soren.



Thousands upon thousands of young,

crazy college girls getting drunk



- and taking their tops off.

- Yes, sir, what a treat for us



that it's happening here

in America's dairy land.



Breeding ground of the coronary

bypass patients of the world.



Look at her.



Your parents are expecting you

to attend your classes,



- Your Royal Highness.

- Yes, I know.



Listen, Soren.



From this point forward,

I do not want you to address me



as the prince

or Your Royal Highness.



You will address me as...Eddie.



Yes, Eddie.



The last thing I need right now

is to have the press all over me.



- I think it's gonna be fun.

- I'm having a wonderful time already.



- Are you unhappy, Soren?

- What gave me away, sir?



I don't know. Your expression

never changes.



- Do you even know how to smile?

- Yes.



Oh, Soren, this is us.



Good heavens.



I thought you had to be

convicted of a crime



before you lived

somewhere like this.



It's not that bad.



Plus, we haven't seen

the rest of it yet.



Apparently, this is the rest of it.



Well, I like it. And I'll even let you

have first choice of the beds.



Oh, heavens.



Which stained mattress

shall I choose?



You the new guys?



I'm Scotty.



All right, all my food's labeled,

so I'll know if you ate anything.



I'm allergic to dairy, shellfish,

red meat, melon, nuts and kiwi.



So don't bring any

of that stuff around here.



The Xbox is off-limits.

If you screw up any of my high scores,



I'll blind you with my laser pointer.



Now, this... This is the real university

life I was talking about.



You see, here, we're just two

typical college students.



Absolutely, sir. I, for one, can't wait

to raucously cheer on the fellows



of the tackle football team

as they challenge the Gophers,



our hated rivals, who apparently hail

from a place called Minnesota.



Minnesota sucks!

Wisconsin rules!



No, no.



Waitress, we'd like to see

some menus, please.



I'm not a waitress, there are no

menus, and the kitchen's closed.



Well, then what can you offer us?



I can offer you beer and pretzel rods,

my fine fellow, at ye old pub yonder.



- Shall I go to the bar, sir?

- Yes. Yes, two of these. Two beers.



Very good.



Would you like another, sir?



- Yes, I'll get these.

- Thank you very much, sir.



- Hello again.

- What can I get for you?



I was hoping you could

recommend something better



than what we've been drinking.



Well, for the discerning

out-of-towner like yourself,



I recommend Leinenkugel's. You can

really taste the extra     cents.



Yes, by all means. Two, please.



You know, if we were in Germany

right now, we'd be underground.



- What?

- Rathskeller, it means basement.






Yes, perhaps I should've known

better than to flirt in German.






It's not a very attractive language, is it?






- I'm Eddie.

- Paige.



- So will you take your top off for me?

- What?



Take your top off for me

like Wild College Girls.



Just a quick look. No one's watching.

Just take it off for me.



- You, time to go.

- Just calm down.



- No, you calm down.

- Get off me.



- You get out.

- Get your hands off me.



Out. Go on!



Science is a never-ending quest.



For anyone planning a future

in science, an open mind is a must.



Grading is as follows:



Forty percent, procedure.



Fifty percent, lab work.

And ten...



May I help you?



Yes. I believe I'm signed up

for this class.



Fine, Mr. Williams. Next time be here

by  :   or you'll be locked out.



And what about you?

I'm talking to you, sir.



- I'm auditing.

- Not this class, too small.



Take a seat, Mr. Williams.



As I was saying,

forty percent, procedure.



- Fifty percent, lab work.

- You can wait outside.



- You'll be all right, sir?

- And ten percent...



- Yes, just wait outside.

- You know, if this is a "lovers' thing",



could you please take it

in the hall?



Soren, just go. Go.



My sincerest apologies.



Oh, please proceed.



And ten percent, attendance.



You will find a list in front of you

of your supplies



and the experiment

you will be conducting.



Now, I want you to turn to the person

next to you and introduce yourself.



Congratulations, folks, you've just said

hello to your permanent lab partner.



Hey. Hey.



You forgot your supply list.



Oh, right, thank you.



- Listen, what's your name again?

- Eddie.



Eddie. Right.

This class is really important to me



because I need this teacher

to get me into med school.



And if I'm stuck with you

as my partner,



I can't afford to have you

screw things up for me, OK?



It's very important to me, as well.

I love organic chemistry.



I've recently discovered

that large amounts



of alcohol mixed with a carbon-based

life form causes the life form



to blurt out stupid things.

So apologies to the other night.



I was just having some fun.



Of course you were. And I love being

made to feel like a brainless slut



by some sloppy lush. Thanks.



I have learned me to repent the sin

Of disobedient opposition



To you and your behest, I am enjoined

And beg your pardon



Is he drunk now?



It's a play. Romeo and Juliet?






This is gonna be a fun semester.



Don't forget your half

of the supplies next time.



You would think that

after spraying somebody



with high-powered soda,

he'd get the message to stay away.



Well, I think he's pretty hot.



Hot? Oh, my God, Beth,

he is so affected.



He was quoting Shakespeare, like

some Shakespearean-duke-lord guy.



I hate phonies like that.



So are you saying you wouldn't

take him up to the stacks?



OK. A, going at it in the dusty stacks

of the library is fairly disgusting.



And B, you literally say that

about every hot guy.



Oh, so you admit he's hot.



OK, I'm done having

this conversation.



I need to concentrate

on my applications.



And what's with his weird friend

who's always hanging around?



One partner is monitoring

temperature and flow,



while the other pours the hydrochloric

acid into the separatory funnel.






...carefully turn the stopcock



to allow some of the solution

to flow into the round-bottom flask.



Start over again.



Where is he?



- You're still in bed?

- Good morning, miss.



Would you care for some breakfast?



I spent the last two hours

looking like an incompetent idiot



because my lab partner

didn't show up.



- Was that this morning?

- Yes!



You know, I know exactly

who you are.



- You do?

- You do?



You're a spoiled, little rich kid

who sees college as a detour



on the way to an easy life.



No character.

No accomplishments.



- Just a royal pain in the ass.

- You're completely wrong.



See, unlike people who are given

evertyhing, I have to earn what I get.



But that is the beauty

of a meritocracy.



People rise and fall

based on how hard they work.



Would you like some

more hollandaise?



- No, that's good. Thank you.

- You're making eggs Benedict?



- On a hot plate in a dorm room?

- Yes, just a typical student breakfast.



Would you care to join us?



No, thank you.



- So where's your statue?

- What statue?



Someone as righteous as you

must have



a statue of themselves




There's a difference between

being righteous and being right.



I happen to be right. Could you

please put a shirt on or something?



If you're going to be a doctor,

you'll have to get used to naked men.



Dude! Dude, there's a chick

in our room.



- Just drop the class.

- No.



Well, then you better be there,

and you better be prepared.



She really meant those things,

didn't she?



Yes, she did seem rather upset, sir.



Though, regardless,

I don't see why you would care.



Do enjoy the eggs, sir. They were

purchased with the last of your money.



- We have some left, don't we?

- What you came with is gone.



Well, you're getting some

sort of paycheck, aren't you?



Hey, you cheap Swede.



"Skills: polo, fencing, speak French,

English, German, Dutch,



"Danish and Flemish".



Flemish? Is there

a country called Flem?



Look, that's all great,

but it doesn't mean crap to me.



I need somebody with work

experience, and you don't have any.



I really could do

with the employment.



There are a lot of students

who wanna work here.



Well, I have the highest




- Hey, Paige.

- Hi.



Are you deliberately trying

to make me miserable?



No, I'm simply manning

the delicatessen in the event



that one of my fellow students

wants a tasty sandwich.



- Stu, did you hire this guy?

- Yeah. He came highly recommended.



- By whom?

- You.



- What would you like?

- A turkey sandwich.



Paige, I'm busy. Eddie's your boy.

You're in charge of him.



All right, it seems we're completely

out of turkey today.



Dude, there's like ten turkey

things in there.



Is this some sort of test?



Did Johns Hopkins send you to see

if I can handle pressure?



- Because I'm starting to crack.

- Well, who's in charge of carving?



- Use the slicer.

- What's that?



You used me as a reference.



Yes. Look, you were

the only one I knew.



Despite what you think,

I do need this job. I have no money.



But you have a personal egg poacher.



No, no. He's just another student.



Really? What's he studying?

How to be a   -year-old junior?



Try the "on" button.



Look, Paige. You were right

about my parents back in Denmark.



They are from a certain wealth.



But I've cut myself off from them.






Yes, just one minute.



Listen, Paige. I realize I've taken

advantage of you recently, and...



But just give me a chance today, and

if I cause any problems, then I'll quit.



OK. Your right hand

goes on the handle.



Slowly slide the meat

back and forth.



And unless you want

a turkey-thumb sandwich,



don't put your hand near

the blade when it's moving, OK?









- Slowly, slowly.

- Right.






OK, nice and smooth.



That's enough.



- Here, Paige, it's your turn tonight.

- OK.



Hey, kid.



I need you to go outside

and hose down the mats.



Are you sure you don't

want a hand, sir?



- No, I'm fine.

- Good night.






You did OK in there.



- You can't be serious, can you?

- Well, by "OK", I mean



spilling a ton of beer

and screwing up everyone's order.



- Yeah.

- No, you'll be fine.



You know, this Saturday evening,

there's a dorm party at Brenner Hall.



A gathering.



I was wondering if you would like

to accompany me.



Accompany you?



Oh, right, yes.

How do you say it colloquially?



Yo, dog, there's a mad party

kicking at my crib,



if you want to roll

down there with me.



That was just sad.

Don't ever do that again.



Yes, I really hurt my finger.



So would you like to come?






I'm actually kind of busy.



Oh, dear.



- What?

- I believe you just got rejected, sir.



You know, I don't think that's ever

happened to me before.



You've never been attracted

to anyone



who didn't know

you were a prince before.



I wouldn't get too worked up

over it, sir.



The chances of a relationship

between yourself and Miss Paige



are not promising.



You two are of

a completely different caliber.



Soren, just because she isn't royalty

doesn't mean she's not important.



The higher caliber

I was referring to, sir,



was hers.









You really must get some rest,

Your Majesty.



I'm relieved there wasn't

more to it than this.



- There'll be more of these tests, yes?

- I can't say for sure.



- There'll be several tests?

- There might be.



- Will this take many days?

- No, I'm pretty sure



- we can get them out of the way.

- Thank you, doctor.



I don't think you need to go to this.



- I promised I'd go.

- Are you feeling ill, Daddy?



There's nothing to worry about,

my darling.



Yes, Arabella.



You shouldn't worry.



Just a little flu.



Excuse me, ma'am.

It's time for His Majesty to be going.






So, what would you like to do today?



- Horse riding.

- Good idea.



Duty calls.






Positive for ketone.



Mr. Williams, please do something.



So you know the other day

when you quoted Romeo and Juliet?



- Yes.

- Well, it's funny



because I'm actually taking

a Shakespeare class myself and...



I'm not struggling,

I'm actually being graded unfairly.



But I was wondering,

since you seem to be...






Yeah. Well, I was hoping

maybe you could...



Help you.



- No, I don't need help.

- Oh, OK.



Just sounded like you were

asking me for help, that's all.



Forget it.



Yeah, OK, I need help.



Yes, I'll help you.

It's not a problem.






...I'm going to need some

help of my own first.



Pour the bleach like this:



And do not spill.



I bet you can't believe

I've never done laundry, can you?



Yeah, it's a real leap.









Cold, cold.



It's just so confusing. I mean, how do

you know what goes in which pile?



It's a gift. I guess you could

say I'm the Rain Man of laundry.



OK, now it's my turn.



We did King Lear,

and now we're on the Sonnets.



Next, it's Hamlet, which is about

a whiny prince from Denmark.



- What does that have to do with reality?

- More than you think.



Well, you're from Denmark,

do you even have princes?



Yes, I think we do.



Well, Beth read it, and she said

he's a total loser.



Well, you can tell Beth that the prince

was young and scared,



and he didn't feel ready for

the hard choices he had to make.



It's not easy facing

that kind of pressure.



Right. Sonnets, you say.



O me!



What eyes hath love put in my head



Which have no correspondence

With true sight



Or if they have

Where is my Judgment fled



That censures falsely

What they see aright?



It's beautiful.



It's gibberish.

I have no idea what he's saying.



Well, he's saying

that love is magical,



and that it makes people look

at each other in an unspoiled way,



without judgment.



Why doesn't he just say that?



Why can't people just say

what they mean?



Well, people rarely say

what they mean.



That's the interesting part, is...


            what's going on

underneath the surface.



See, take line    .



The sun itself sees not

Till heaven clears



What does that mean to you?



That the sun can't shine

when it's cloudy.



No. You're being too literal.

See, don't just go for the obvious.



See, all these words,

they have multiple meanings,



and you have

to explore the possibilities



and then make your choice.



See, like the word "sun",

that could mean the actual sun,



or it can mean light.



But then "light" can mean

knowledge or reason.



That could go on forever.



Yes. Yes, it could.



But I think in this case

it means reason.



And then "heaven" may refer

to the pearly gates,



or it could mean a state of being,

you know,



Iike being happy or in love.



So now read it again,

taking in all the possibilities,



and tell me what you think it means.



The sun itself sees not

Till heaven clears



I guess it means

that love blinds you.



And when you're in love,

you can't think reasonably.



Do you agree?






I mean, it's just a poem.



Yeah. Yeah, it's just a poem.



Are you worried

a union work stoppage



will throw the country

into a recession?



That's something

we're striving to avoid.



- Mr. Prime Minister.

- Do you think being part of the EU



has been good for Denmark?



The United States of Europe

is a question of being strong together.



It's another boring photo opportunity

of an old guy walking down a carpet



answering the same questions

he answered last week.



- Where's Edvard?

- Now, you see,



he was always good for a big disaster

every few months or so.



I've got to find him.



Eddie. Hey.




It's my Shakespeare midterm.






That's brilliant.

That's really, really good.



- Well done.

- Thank you.



- Thank you, really, for helping me.

- It's OK.



I did even better on my chemistry.



It's good. That's really good.



- How'd you do?

- How did I do?



A minus...



-...three grades.

- D-minus.



- Yes, but it doesn't matter.

- Sure it does. You can do better.



I know you can.



And give up a brilliant career

in the food-service industry?



Hey, Eddie, do you have any plans

for Thanksgiving?



No, no. I'll be here.



Have a good vacation.



Yes, you too.



I can't believe you.

I can't believe you, Paige.



You should've invited him

home with you.



What? No. That would be so weird.



Well, then you won't mind if I invite

him back to Milwaukee with me?



No. No, of course not.

Why would I mind?



I don't know.



Hey, Eddie, since you don't

have any other plans,



I was wondering if...



You wanted to spend Thanksgiving

with me and my family?



Yes, that'd be nice.



- Thank you.

- Sure.



I think I probably

should come with you, sir.



Oh, no, not this time.



The thing is, you see,

you'll be on your own.



- Yes, and I'll manage.

- All right. Later, dudes.



Actually, sir, it's my duty

to look out for you at all times.



- Soren, I'll be fine.

- With respect, sir,



- that's not for you to decide.

- Soren, yes, it is for me to decide.



What am I going to do here

for five days?



I don't know. Just sightsee, relax.



Soren, you'll be fine, OK?



- I'll pick you up Monday.

- Thanks again.



- Thank you.

- Hey.



Hiya, sweetie.

Oh, it's good to have you home.



- Hi, Dad.

- Hi, kiddo.



This is Eddie.

Eddie, this is my mom and dad.



Oh, we're so glad

that you could join us.



The only college friends of Paige's

we've ever met, they've all been girls.



- Thank you. I'm glad to be invited.

- Hi, I'm Ben Morgan.



Ben, hello.



Hey, hey, Doc Paige.



Farmer John Sausage.



- Hey.

- Hey. Oh, Mike, you look great.



Oh, well, you know, Kayla's got me

on Slim-Fast, so I lost   .



And he put five of it back on today

at Rocky Rococo's.






Who's this guy?



This is Eddie. Eddie's an exchange

student from Denmark.



- He's just a friend.

- Hello.



- Welcome to our home.

- Thank you.



Mike, he speaks better English

than you do.



Yeah, anyway...



Pops, we'll see you in the morning.

Hey, we're watching you, Frenchy.



Come on into the house.



- You can ignore the moron twins.

- OK.



This is it.



- Oh, you can put them right here.

- Right.






What are all the pins for?



The few red ones

are where I've been,



and all the green ones

are where I want to go.



Ecuador, El Salvador.



They're not exactly

tourist destinations, are they?



No, but they're all the places

that Doctors Without Borders



brings good medical care

and vaccinations



and clean drinking water. What?






I just really never met someone

who makes me feel so intimidated.



And believe me, I've met my fair share

of intimidating people.



I'm not intimidating. Look at me.



Yes, well, you see,

that's pretty intimidating, as well.



Well, I'm not the only one with goals.

What do you want to do?



I don't really have any choice.

I have to take over the family business.



- No choice at all?

- No.



Careful, you're crushing Gus.



Oh, Gus.



Yes, Gus.

He's a very good watch-moose.



Not once was I attacked

by a monster under my bed



or something scary in the closet.

Isn't that right, Gus?



Yes, that's right.



Hello, Gus. Nice to meet you.



Very pleased to meet you, as well.



- I like you like this.

- Like what?



Don't know. Just like this.



Just Paige.



All right, Eddie, we got John's room

made up for you.



It's just down the hall

across from our room.



- We sleep with the door open.

- Thanks, Dad.



So, Eddie, would you like to see

how things work around here?



Maybe help us out tomorrow?



No, no, I don't think that's

such a good idea.



- Oh, why not?

- Yes, why not?



OK. You know what?

Go ahead and help out.



I'm gonna enjoy this.



Come on, let's get you settled in.



Stop. Stop.



This one nearly hit me.



Haven't seen too many tractors, huh?



Nicely done with the milking.



Yeah, I think you got a new best friend

in Bessy.



- Hey, should we get some dinner?

- What are those?



- They're lawn mowers.

- Lawn mowers. Really?






Hey, hey.



Actually, we race these.

It's a huge sport around here.






- Yeah.

- Do you mind if I have a look?



No, be our guest.



Take a look at this one.

This is my baby.






- I just put a new flywheel in there.

- Yes, I see.



You know, no matter how dirty

he races, there's no way



we're letting Keith Kopetsky

take the trophy again this year.



- How fast do these things go?

- Well, we clocked it at   .



I can make it faster.



- Yeah.

- OK. Come on. Let's go.



- What?

- That's good.



Oh, you don't believe me?

I can.



- Might be a Thanksgiving pa, huh?

- Yeah.



Are you OK?



- Oh, you had me going.

- Not until after the pie, all right?



- Milk?

- Oh, no.



I won't be drinking much milk

in the near future.



- Ma, great turkey.

- Don't eat too much.



We got feeding to do, and I don't need

you boys in a turkey coma.



- All right.

- You've got more work?



- Yeah,    hours a day.

- Really?



- Have to.

- If you don't milk them,



the cows' udders will explode.



- No.

- It happened at Frank Monahan's.



And did you actually

see it happen, Mikey?



- No.

- You're so bad.



You see, we gotta work twice as hard

as corporate-owned farms



just to stay afloat.



At this rate, the family farm

will be extinct in    years.



- I don't think he needs to hear it now.

- No, I'm interested.



What the big boys need to understand

is that we're all interdependent.



And if somebody loses,

eventually, we'll all lose.



- What?

- Nothing.



- Thanks, Dad.

- So, Eddie,



- what's up with you and my sister?

- Johnny!



Look, Paige, someone had to ask.



Yeah, Paige, he's too good-looking.



- Yeah.

- That's right, you're too good-looking.



- I'm not that good-looking.

- He's pretty good-looking.



- You're pretty good-looking.

- Oh, yeah.



- Guys.

- If you combine that with the accent



and your Euro-charm,

you're a lethal combination.



- Would everyone just stop? Please.

- Paige, we don't even know this guy.



I don't know anyone from Denmark.

I've never heard of anyone from there.



- Have you?

- Yeah, sure.






Kierkegaard, Niels Bohr,

Hans Christian Andersen.






Hans Christian Andersen?



Hans Christian Andersen?



Lars Ulrich.



- From Metallica?

- From Metallica.



- Get out.

- OK.



- And Helena Christensen.

- Whoa, whoa, wait a second.



- The Victoria's Secret model?

- Yes.



- OK.

- That's gotta be the coolest country



- in the world now.

- You should be a superpower.






Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,

to the Manitowoc County Fairgrounds.



A beautiful day for racing



and the   th annual

Mad Mower Derby.



Give them a hand.

We got the seniors' class.



We've got machines

up to     horsepower.



They'll be blasting by the grandstand

at a good eight to    miles an hour.



So hang on to your hats

when they come by, folks.



Let them hear it when they come

past the stands here.



Peterson's coming out of the pit.

Look at him go around that corner.



- Come on. Come on.

- We've got a big deal today.



Check it out. Kopetsky.



What's up, Keith?



What the hell did you do

to that thing?



I bumped up the compression

and a few other little modifications.



All right. One lap to go, folks.

Let them hear it now.



The last of the five laps here

in the senior class.



Osterhouse is pushing.

Now Peterson's moving up.



He's making his move.

Here he comes now.



And here comes Thompson.

There goes Peterson!



Go, Mr. Peterson.



- That's Mr. Peterson?

- He's so damn old.



What a good, clean race

we had for the seniors.



- Your brothers seem to like him.

- Mom.



- I like him too.

- Yeah, I get that.



I really can't afford

any distractions right now.



Chemistry isn't just in a class, kiddo.



- And you guys have it.

- Right.



Then what happens? I fool myself

into thinking he's Prince Charming?



We get married

and live happily ever after?



Then all my work

goes down the drain



because I'm too busy

shopping for groceries



and picking my kids up at soccer.






it really wasn't as bad as all that.



- I didn't mean it that way.

- I know.



But we're not talking about me.



I made my choice.



This is about you making

the right choice for you.



OK, we're getting ready

for the super-modified class.



OK, your brothers

are getting out there.



We have a Le Mans-style start.



The engines will be off.

The drivers, on the gun,



will be running on foot

across the track,



- Go, Eddie.

- onto the mowers,



start the mowers and start racing.



All right, this one's for all the marbles.



And they've set themselves up

on the line now.



Boys, you've been waiting

all summer for this.



They're getting ready here.

They're champing at the bit, folks.



All set. Listen for the gun

to start it off.



- Shut up.

- And they're off. There they go.



- Oh, Williams and Kopetsky collide.

- Get up.



Williams is on the ground. Get out

of there before they run you over.



They're firing the machines up now.

Number five is up.



Number seven's up.

Kopetsky pulls right out.



Looks like Williams is having trouble

getting his engine going.



And as they head

into the first turn,



Kopetsky on number eight

is in the lead.



Look at that.

Williams got it running.



But he's got a long way to go.



Go, go, go!



It looks like the Morgan brothers

are really challenging Kopetsky there.



They are chasing him down...



- Ride my tail.

- Mike Morgan, on Moovover, second.



And his brother, John, on number

seven, is right behind him.



Williams now is on the track,

he's catching up.



At the back of the pack,

he's starting to move up nicely.



And he's putting on some real speed,

but he is way behind.



And it looks like we've got a duel

shaping up in the front of the pack.



Mike Morgan is really going

after Kopetsky.



- Eat it, Morgan!

- Watch it!



He's pushed Morgan

towards the hay bale there.



It looks like he pushed him

right off the track.



- Damn it! God!

- Keep it clean there, Kopetsky.



John Morgan is moving up now



to see if he can snatch the lead

away from Kopetsky.



- Come on, Eddie!

- Go!



And here comes Williams

on number nine.



He's catching up.

This could be a three-way race, folks.



- Go, go, go!

- Get him!



Kopetsky is trying to hold him off now.

Weaving back and forth to the inside.



Williams trying to go outside,

now trying to cut inside.



Kopetsky will have none of it.

He's holding him off. One lap to go.



Let them hear it, folks.

Going around the third corner...



Go! Go! Go!



Williams, the rookie,

is really out for the gold.



He's coming after Kopetsky

on the inside.



Kopetsky is trying to hold him off

with some quick moves.



Watch out for him, Williams.

He'll mess with you.



It's Kopetsky and Williams now.



Oh, my God, they bumped!

Did you see that?



Williams is coming in first!



Williams, the first-time rookie rider,



takes the championship

of the super-modifieds.






That's great.



- It's stupid.

- He said it was for all the marbles.



- I won them. I'm going to keep them.

- Hey, you.



Fine race, sir.









- I'm gonna kick your ass.

- Just try.






- Hey, you guys. John, stop.

- You couldn't get me, Kopetsky.



- Get off me.

- Get off.



- Are you OK?

- Yes.



Here, come over here.



I still think we should've stopped

at that biker bar,



shown them your hog.






Are we trying to set some record

of how many times



I can get beaten up in one night?



If we were fencing, he would've

been in serious trouble.



He still would have punched you.






I think that people around here

are getting the wrong idea



about you and me.



What idea is that?



That we're involved.



Which we're not.






Definitely not.



Because you hate me.



Yes, very much.



What? What's wrong?



Nothing. Absolutely nothing.



Which is why I am going

to walk you to your door...



...and bid you good night.



He's been like this

since I got here yesterday.



- Give it back!

- Back off, Clearasil!



- Stop.

- You stop.



I'm studying.



Eddie, finals are coming up.

You need to be serious.



I am serious. OK, I will study.



OK. I am. I am.






No. Stop.



God, I've read the same

sentence     times.



Come with me.



- Oh, my God!

- Your Highness,



- is she your new girlfriend?

- Go! Go!



- What's her name?

- This is great!



Prince Edvard, is this what

you've been doing?



Here! This way!



- Come on, hurry!

- Prince Edvard!



- Hurry, hurry!

- Over here!



Stop! Stop! Your Highness!



Prince Edvard, look over here!



- Prince Edvard!

- What is up?



- Go down the stairs.

- OK, OK.



- Over here, Prince Edvard!

- This way!



- What's her name?

- Hurry!



I think we have it.



What the hell was that? Why were

they calling you Prince Edvard?



Because that's my name.



What? That's crazy!



You're a prince and that's why

they were taking photos of us?






Are there a lot of princes where

you're from, or are you kind of it?



I'm it.



- You must be freezing. Let's get you...

- You lied to me!



No, I didn't lie to you. I just didn't want

to be Prince Edvard for once in my life.



I never should have started this.



You are exactly the kind of distraction

I was trying to avoid.



Are those pictures gonna

be in the newspaper?



- Yes. Lots of them.

- Are you sure?



Yes. This isn't my first indiscretion.



I'm... I'm sorry.



- Paige, wait.

- Stay away from me.



- I love you.

- You love me?



Why should I believe that?



- You were just pretending.

- No, I wasn't pretending.



No, I wasn't pretending!



Outside! I said, outside!



- Outside!

- Right over here.



- I will not tell you again!

- I'm so sorry.



Let's go to work.



Eddie, I think this may be for you.



- Hello?

- Soren, put Edvard on the line.



One moment, Your Majesty.






- Edvard.

- Hello, Mother.



Edvard, you have

to come home now.



For your father's sake.



He's very ill.



Lady Macbeth may have

convinced him to kill Duncan,



but he knew it was his fate

long before she even tried.



Destiny is not something

that you can fight against.



But what about circumstance?

Take Othello, for instance.



Was Othello fated to kill Desdemona,

or did lago create the circumstance?



I think it's both. On the surface,

lago is the bad guy.



But if we look closer, we see

that the crack lago exploited



- was of Othello's own making.

- But still, Othello made choices.



Bad ones.



Othello had love, but he

chose not to listen to his heart.



Love doesn't come around every day,

and when it does,



you gotta grab it and hold on.



I mean, they could've lived

happily ever after.



I know that that's

a corny schoolgirl fantasy...



...but what if the fantasy

actually became true and...



What if there really

is a handsome prince?



- Miss Morgan...

- But he's a really good kisser.






- What if you just know you're in love?

- Miss Morgan...



And all the things you thought were

important don't matter anymore,



because the most important

thing is to be with him.



- Miss Morgan.

- Then it's not some silly fantasy.



It's actually real.



I mean, don't you think those

two people should be together?



- Yes.

- Yes.






I do too.



Hi. Where's Eddie?



Oh, you mean Prince Ate-My-




He left after his last final.



Someone dropped

that off for you.



- Where are you going?

- Denmark.



- Why?

- It's in the note.



The sun itself sees not

Till heaven clears



Still not really getting it here, Paige.



You've got to look

underneath the surface.



So you're just gonna show up

at some castle in Denmark,



- knock on the door and ask for Eddie?

- I don't know what I'm going to do.



I've never felt this way before.

My stomach is all in knots.



Sounds like you're in love.



I'm not thinking like

a sane person right now.



I just know that if I don't see him,

I'll spend the rest of my life wondering.



- So      on this one.

- Two sixty on this one.



- One thirty-seven on this one.

- And     on this one.









Oh, thank you.



Excuse me, what's that building

over there?



This is the old stock exchange.

You see on the roof?



You know, that's dragons

twisting their tails.



Yeah, we're stuck here until it's over.



- Until what's over?

- The parade.



Every time the royal family

steps out of the house, you know,



- they close down half the city.

- Really?



- Yeah.

- You know, it's OK.



I'll just get out here.



Excuse me. Excuse me.



Excuse me. Excuse me.



Excuse me. Excuse me.



Excuse me.



Long live the queen!












Eddie! Eddie!






Eddie! Eddie!



- It's Paige Morgan!

- Paige Morgan?



- Paige Morgan?

- Paige Morgan.



Look, there's Paige Morgan

from the newspaper!






- Paige! Paige! Paige! Paige!

- Eddie, it's Paige Morgan!



Paige Morgan!



Eddie! Eddie!



His Royal Highness,

the crown prince, and a guest.



- Just wait here.

- OK.






I now proclaim this session

of Parliament open.



Let's go.



- Oh, no.

- What?



You didn't tell me you lived

with your parents.



- Hi.

- My word.



- Miss Paige.

- Soren!



Oh, hugging the help?



You're going to fit in

very well around here.



Right. I will see you

in a moment.



And Soren will show you

where to go.



- May l?

- Absolutely.



My pleasure.



This is the south courtyard.



You, of course,

came through the private gate.



- Hi.

- Miss Paige.



Right. Hi.



This is where we keep the mops.



- Absolutely not!

- I love her and she loves me.



- Absolutely not!

- I love her and she loves me.



- And we will do as we please.

- Oh, love.



And when has it ever

been about that?



It has taken us a lot to get

where we are today.



All we want is to be together.



It has taken you a lot to get

to where you are?



It has taken us       years

to get to where we are.



In a few weeks' time,

you will ascend the throne as king,



and I will let nothing

stand in the way of that.



Certainly not some tawdry little affair

with a gold-digging American girl



who dreams of becoming

the next Princess Di.



Mother, you cannot tell me whom

to love and how to live my life.



Edvard, I am sure she

has outstanding qualities.



But once the news of your father's

illness becomes public,



the people will

require reassurance.



Yes, and I will proudly

and confidently ascend the throne.



- Good.

- As soon as you allow me



to choose my own bride.



Out of the question.



She is a commoner.



Well, then I hope you think

that Arabella is fit to be the queen



at the age of    .



Oh, no, I'm forgetting

about Nestor.



Oh, don't threaten us!



Cousin Bartholomew's

idiot son, Nestor.



The   -year-old virgin in diapers.

Oh, the people will rejoice.






Edvard, you will be

the next king of Denmark.



- Do you hear me?

- Yes, sir.



Now, about your young lady.



If you say you love her

as you do,



and you believe she will make

you happy, then marry her.



Haraald, you can't mean that.



Maybe this is not a good time

to discuss...



No, it's a perfect time.



It is at the end of a man's life

when he realizes



how important his decisions

were at the beginning.



And in       King Gustav lV fell,

hit his head on a rock,



had his famous moment

of enlightenment. Claimed he saw God



at the bottom of this lake.



He went charging off through

the castle to tell everyone.




he was carrying a torch.



Curtains caught fire,

burnt down half the palace.



Thus, observe the new wing.



He takes great pleasure

in twisting my ancestors' history.



Today has been the most

incredible day of my life.



Come with me.



I have something important

to tell you.






The reason I had to come back...


            because my father has

decided to pass the crown to me.



So you're gonna be king.






I love you so much.



And I know the sacrifices

you would have to make.



What are you doing?



Paige Morgan,



will you marry me?






Oh, good morning.



- Good morning, ma'am.

- Good morning.



- Coffee?

- Oh, I can get it myself



if you show me

where the kitchen is.



Or a Starbucks?



- Grande decaf nonfat latte.

- Yes, ma'am.






You and Edvard getting married!

It's so romantic!



- You must be Arabella.

- Call me Ari.



Isn't it wonderful?

We're going to be sisters.



More hugging?



- Whatever will we do with you?

- Thank you.



Well, then, I thought we might run

through your schedule for the day.



I have a schedule?



As of this morning you do.



Come on.



At  :   you have a groundbreaking

with Edvard.



Also attending

will be Countess Yungen.



Remember, if you're facing her,

the good eye is the left one.



At    :   

there's a photo opportunity.



Holding hands with Edvard

on the royal yacht.



Opening of a Miro exhibit

at the museum at noon.



   :   is when you can

call your parents.



Yes, a   :   luncheon

with the queen.



Deep breaths.



You'll get through this

in spectacular fashion.



After all, that's what the people

expect of our future queen.



Oh, my God.









I mean, I knew it worked that way, but

I hadn't really thought about it like that.



Do you think that people are gonna

mind if I'm gonna be their queen



- and all I've seen is the airport?

- No.






Do you a have dress

for Eddie's coronation ball yet?



- No.

- You may come in now.



This is Margueritte.

She can design anything you like.



Chanel, Dior, Armani, Prada.



- It's very nice to meet you.

- Turn.



Excuse me?






Come, ladies.



Long torso.



Good figure.



Terrible American posture.



I don't work with hunchbacks.



- When is the wedding, Miss Morgan?

- Good morning.



When these plants are completed,



Denmark will lead

the European community



in vegetable oil

and specialty fat production.



Farm girl.



So where do the future king and queen

go on their honeymoon?



I was thinking Morocco.



It's really hard

to organize security there.



Oh, right, OK.



What about Spain?



Yes, Spain is good.



I'm sure King Juan Carlos won't

mind lending us his private island



for a few weeks in the summer.



I swear.



Well, it's hanging well in the front.



Is this part supposed to be loose?



- She doesn't speak.

- At all?



To you.



Well, is this part

supposed to be loose?



Well, it has been worn that way

for the past     years.



The opening of this new wing of the

Dangard Pediatric Hospital illustrates...



- Where's Paige?

- I don't know.



...our country's commitment

to improving healthcare



for all of our people...



There she is.



I was just being nice to some kids.



Which every paper

felt compelled to report.



Well, what's wrong with that?



That you did it in a new,

state-of-the-art, government-funded,



billion-kroner hospital,



which suddenly all these newspapers

have no interest in mentioning.



We had an opportunity

on the eve of a national strike,



to show the people what their

healthcare system can do for them.



Instead, all they know

is that you are nice to children.



I'm sorry. I'm trying.



It's gonna take me a while

to get the hang of things.



Being royal is not like

being famous or being rich.



It is something much, much more.



It is a way of being that can

only be learned from birth.



It is an embodiment



which requires you to sacrifice

who you are for who you must be.



Well, I'm Paige Morgan

from Manitowoc, Wisconsin.



Paige Morgan can no longer exist.



She is gone.



You are now

the future queen of Denmark...



...plain and simple.



Excuse me, Your Majesty.



Your Royal Highness,

it's time to leave.



All right. Thank you, Soren.



His Royal Highness,

the crown prince.



- Royal Highness.

- Prime minister.



Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

In the interest of expedience,



I've asked the lead negotiator

for the national unions



and the lead negotiator for our nation's

corporate interests to join us.



Good morning.



- I'm very pleased to meet you.

- Nice to meet you again.



Your Royal Highness.



I know your exposure to these

proceedings has been rather limited...



Mr. Anderson, I'm well aware

of the traditions and the protocols



of this chamber,

and while I respect them,



we only have six hours

before all hell breaks loose.



So don't you think the time

for gamesmanship has passed?



- Yes, sir.

- Then we are in agreement.



Please be seated.



And get comfortable



because we're not leaving here

until this is solved.



And where will this

additional money come from?



Well, perhaps management

will tighten their belts.



- Our belts?

- Yes! It might do you some good



- to go without.

- These are businesses, not charities.



If we can't come to

a resolution about wages,



perhaps we can discuss

concessions on benefits.



- No concessions!

- You take and take



- and will give nothing in return!

- You are impossible!



Gentlemen, please. Let's remember

this is not about us.



You know, when I was in America,



I spent some time

with Paige's family on her farm.



And they explained

something to me.



That we are all interdependent.



So we had better start caring

for our opposition



as much as we do for ourselves.



I wonder if anyone on this table knows

what it's like to work for a tiny wage.



And then to see that wage get

sliced up even further by taxes.



Now, I can tell you from experience,

it can be a mighty struggle.



But then I suspect it would be

substantially more difficult



to see your job...



...and your benefits

disappear altogether.



Now, at the moment,

we are six percent apart. Correct?



Now, if the goal is to let

the workers keep more



without damaging the corporation,



then perhaps there's

a third path to consider.



He was brilliant. He got the unions

to lower their demands,



the corporations to raise their offer,



and Parliament to cut the workers'

wage tax to make up the difference.



Now, that's impressive.

OK, about the dress.



Am I supposed

to be able to breathe?



- No.

- Oh, well, then it's perfect.



Miss Paige, the queen would

like to see you immediately.



Don't worry. I'll be by your side

the entire time.



- Soren, get out.

- Yes, Your Majesty.






These are my new babies.



My new hopefuls.



I know you think I don't like you.



I like traditions.



I like traditions,



and I like consistency

and continuity,



and I don't like change.






...when that change is for the better...



...when it helps turn a boy

into a man...



...then I have to reconsider.



Two weeks ago, I thought you were

the end of the monarchy.



Now I see you may be the best thing

that ever happened to us.



Thank you.



And now we have that settled...



...we have to make you

into the best queen



that Denmark has ever had.



Come with me.



Between you and me, Paige,

being queen is not without its charms.



So, my dear,



what would you like to wear

to the coronation ball?



Very beautiful.



Your ears will be killing you by the end

of the evening, though. Trust me.



Harry Winston.



It's very appropriate.



- Sorry. Would you excuse me?

- Certainly, sir.



Yes, Your Highness.



Sorry. Pardon me.



Paige, may I have this dance?



Of course.



I hope you don't mind,

but I've requested our song.



We have a song?



We have a song.



Let's go somewhere.



It kind of bothers me.



Right. Come with me.



Excuse me, sir. I know that you and

your father wanted to speak privately



with the king of Norway

before he left.



Right, of course.

Thank you, Soren.



Listen, when I get back,

I've got a special treat for you.



Oh, good. I was wondering when

I was going to start being treated well.



- Good to see you.

- Good to see you, sir.






- You remember my son, Edvard?

- Very nice to meet you.



- Nice to see you again.

- You too.



Father, I really think

you should be sitting down.



Did those Egyptian photographers

make you pose



for all those photos

riding on camels?



- Yeah.

- lnteresting creatures.



They store all that water,

but they never seem to bathe in it.



Oh, yeah.



So down to business.



We have to talk about fishing rights.



We've both signed a treaty.



The main thing is to maintain stock

and to respect...



Right, I've got something

to show you.



Stay there.






relax, my dear, as I make you...



...the perfect sandwich.



I think you'll find...



...that the student



has now become the teacher.



I can see how proud

your father is of you.






Eddie, this has all been extraordinary.



A real life fairy tale.



But I can't do it anymore.






What are you saying?



I'm saying I can't stay.



Well, what's the matter?



When I first met you,



I was so focused

because I was scared.



And you got me out of that,



which is the greatest thing

anyone's ever done for me.



But I'm still me, and all the things

that I want to do are still a part of me,



and I thought I could make myself

forget about that,



but I can't.



What about us?



You belong here, not me.



And your father needs you

to be there...



...for your mother and Arabella.



I mean, is that it?

We never see each other again?



I don't know.



I don't know.



I can't make you stay, can l?



I can't make you stay.



Long live His Majesty,

King Edvard lll.



Today marks a profound, though

bittersweet, milestone for all of us...


            we bear witness

to both an end and a beginning.



And while we must continue on,



we must also be grateful



to have been blessed

with someone



who has so ably guided us

to where we are today.



When there has been so much love...



...and happiness for someone...


            is natural to be reluctant...


            close such a wonderful chapter

in our lives.



- Excuse me.

- For moving forward



is rarely accomplished without

considerable grief and sadness.



And while our sorrow

may be profound...



...the clouds will clear...



...and the sun will shine on us again.



And in that warm, bright light...



...we will find ourselves

facing a glorious future.



A future of exciting challenges...



...and infinite possibility...


            which the horizon

will stretch out before us...



...rimmed in the heavenly glow...



...of the sunrise of our tomorrow.



Can everybody...?



Can we get the girls together

for a group shot?



Just a quick one. OK.

Great. All right.



OK. Amy, sweetheart.



All right, Amy. Amy, here.

All right, girls? Girls?



- Say, "Cheese curds".

- Cheese curds!






Beautiful, girls.



I'm so proud of you.



Let me see.



Oh, sweetheart...



Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful



I want you in my life, Paige.



I want to marry you.



If that means I have to wait

until you finish medical school,



become a doctor

and anything else you want to do,



then I'll do it.



I'll wait.



Denmark isn't ready

for a queen like me.



Well, then they'll have to be...



...because I am.




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