Princess Diaries Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Princess Diaries script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Princess Diaries. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Princess Diaries Script






HELEN/ Time for school!



HELEN/ Stop daydreaming.

You'll be late for school.



Sometimes l have dreams



MIA: Hey, Louie. Come on.



l picture myself flyin'



It's time to go to schooI.



Through the clouds



High in the sky



Conquering the world



With my magic piano



Never being scared



But then l realize



l'm Supergirl



And l'm here to save the world



But l wanna know



Who's gonna save me?



HELEN/ Are you

feeling confident?



MIA: Not reaIIy.



Now just remember,

when you make your speech...



don't Iook at the peopIe.



Pick a spot on the back waII...



don't take your eyes

off of it...



and speak IoudIy.



Thanks, Mom.



Bye, Mom.



Good Iuck.



Ooh ooh






Morning, Buttons.






MAN/ Be nice, Buttons.



MIA: Whoa. Whoa!



Sorry, Mr. Robutusen.



Have a nice day.



ROBUTUSEN: I doubt it.






l'm Supergirl






l'm Supergirl



What l wanna know



Who's gonna save me?




Hey, there, ho there



How do you do?



This is Grove Lions

sayin' hi to you.



-I'm Lana...










BOY: Josh!



l'm Supergirl




-What are you doing?



Oh, he's such a show-off.



Jeremiah, off the waII,




Come on.

You know better than that.



MIA: Good morning, Miss Gupta.



Morning, LiIIy...



LiIIy's friend.



l'm Supergirl



Who's gonna save me?



You know,

as manager of the team...



I reaIIy think you shouId be

a part of the team.



Oh, oh! Oops.



I'm sorry,

I didn't see you.



I was thinking...



Somebody sat on me again.








l don't know what happened.



l was just sitting there,

working on my speech...



It's reaIIy a dumb cIass--




Jerk and jerkette sighting.



MIA: Hmm?



Soft kisses on a summer's day



Laughing all our cares away



And dream of--







You never saw two idiots

exchange saIiva before?



Oh. Yeah.



They're so rude.



Good. You know,

for a second there...



I thought you were

going A-crowd on me.



MlA/ Oh, heh. Negative.



LlLL Y/ Ready for debate?




l'm never ready for debate.




BO Y/ Go, Josh!



JOSH/ So this is not a debate.



This is a control issue.



Grove controIs our minds

with what they teach us...



but you know what?



They're not satisfied

with that.



I think Grove shouId

dump the uniforms...



and we have casuaI dress

aII year round!







All right, all right.



OK, girIs, settIe down.

SettIe down.



This is a debate,

and after it's over...



I want you back

in your schooI uniform.



JOSH: Hey, boss,

whatever you say.



Josh, sit down.



-He's the man.

-He's my man.




OK, Josh. Later, OK?



Down, down, boy.

You made your point.



OK, so,

now we've all heard...



from Josh Bryant

for the affirmative.



[VeIcro rips]



I Iove that sound.



What's my point again?



You Iike our uniforms.

They're equaIizers.




Now we'll hear the rebuttal...



from Mia Thermopolis...



who will present

the negative argument...



against our proposition.



[Scattered appIause]



GlRL/ Come on, Mia!



BO Y/ Whoo-hoo!






FONTANA/ What a frizz-ball.



ANNA/ Look at her hair.









BO Y/ We're waiting.



SECOND BO Y/ Say something!



You see, um...I...



See, casuaI--




[Breathing heaviIy]



GlRL/ Are you OK?



ANNA: She's gonna barf.




Oh, God! She's gonna hurl!



THlRD GlRL/ Cover the tuba!




Everybody settle down.



Learn how to fly



Gotta move on



From what's

breaking your heart...




Finish up with Mrs. Taubman...



and then you can take a break.



Another huge tip

from Mrs. Hersh.



I got one from Mrs. Taubman.

We're doing aII right today.



Mr. WaIsh's ropes are twisted.




Mr. Walsh, stop twisting!



You'll strangle yourself!



Hi, Mom.



You threw up, huh?



And you ran away.




l'm trying to forget about it.



Can I have some shoes

and chaIk, pIease?



Anyway, I'II go taIk

to your debate teacher--



-What's his name?

-Mr. O'ConneII.



And straighten it aII out.



Mom, I am never going to be

a good pubIic speaker.



Just caII him and teII him

I want to be a mime.



-I can do that.

-Here you go.



Oh, your grandmother caIIed.






The Iive one.



Who Iives in Genovia.




Oh. Wow.



This is the first time

she's ever contacted us.



What'd she want?



She's in town.



She wants to have tea.



Tea? She came aII the way

from Europe to have tea?



[TeIephone rings]



I think I'm gonna cIimb

a IittIe bit.




Rocks Around the Clock



MIA: Isn't this the grandmother

who made you get a divorce?



WeII, she didn't

approve of me...



but PhiIIipe and I

made the decision...



to divorce on our own.



Why shouId I go see

this snobby Iady who ignores us?



Mia, she's your father's mother.



Just go see her tomorrow.







She said

your father hoped...



that you two wouId meet someday.



[Sighs] AII right, I'II go.



[PIaying rock and roII music]



BO Y/ Whoo!



AII right, I win.



Band practice is over.



l have a music class here. Out!



Let's have the third group

try ''Catch a FaIIing.''



CharIes, you want to be

in the front?




-No probIem.






Are you sure

you can't heIp me...



with my Spotted OwI

petition today?



I'm meeting my grandmother

after schooI.



[Piano pIaying]

Oh, right.



Catch a falling star



And put it in your pocket



Never let it fade away



Catch a falling star



And put it in your pocket



Save it for a rainy day



For love may come and



Tap you on the shoulder



Some starless night



SPEAKER/ School tours

are on Saturday, young lady.



I'm here for a meeting

with my grandmother.






CIarisse RenaIdi.



Oh. PIease come

to the front door.



Thank you very much.



SPEAKER/ Get off the grass!



[Message repeated

in other Ianguages]



WeIcome, Miss ThermopoIis.



We've been expecting you.



MIA: Oh, be carefuI.



PIease don't crush

my soy nuts.



Your soy nuts are safe.






Right this way.




make yourseIf comfortabIe.



WOMAN/ ...for their

daughter Marissa.



She's allergic to peanuts.



And we need new piIIows

for the prime minister's wife.



She's aIIergic

to goose feathers.



Hello, Amelia.



I'm CharIotte, from

the Genovian attache corps.



Hi. It's nice to meet you.



Um, where am l?




The Genovian Consulate.



MIA: You've got pears

in your fIowers.



Genovian pears.

We're famous for them.



Now, if you'II sit down...



she'II be with you

in a moment.



No, I don't need a moment.

I'm here.




I'm so gIad you couId come.



MlA/ Hi.

You've got a great place.



Thank you.



WeII, Iet me Iook at you.



You Iook so...young.



Thank you.



And you Iook so...






CharIotte, wouId you check

on tea in the garden?



Please, sit.



So, my mom said you wanted...



to taIk to me

about something. Shoot.



Oh, before I ''shoot''...



I have something

I want to give you.






Oh, um, thank you.







lt's the Genovian crest.



It was mine when I was young.



And that was

my great-grandmother's.



Heh. I'II keep this safe.



I wiII take good care of it.



Now, what did you

want to teII me?



CLARlSSE/ Something

that l think will have...



a very big impact

upon your Iife.



I aIready had braces.



No, it's bigger

than orthodontia.



The tea is served, ma'am.



AmeIia, have you ever heard...



of Eduard Christoff

PhiIIipe Gerard RenaIdi?






He was the crown prince

of Genovia.






What about him?



Eduard Christoff

PhiIIipe Gerard RenaIdi...



was your father.



[Snorts] Yeah, sure.



My father was

the prince of Genovia.



Uh-huh. You're joking.



Why wouId I joke about

something Iike that?



No! Because if he's reaIIy

a prince, then I--






You're not just

AmeIia ThermopoIis.



You are AmeIia Mignonette

ThermopoIis RenaIdi...



Princess of Genovia.



Me? A princess?



Shut up!



I beg your pardon?

Shut up?



Your Majesty, in America...



it doesn't aIways mean

''Be quiet.''



Here it couId mean,

''Wow,'' ''Gee whiz,'' ''GoIIy''--



Oh, I understand.

Thank you.




you are the princess.



And I am

Queen CIarisse RenaIdi.



Why wouId you pick me

to be your princess?



Since your father died,

you are the naturaI heir...



to the throne of Genovia.

That's our Iaw.



I'm royaI by marriage.



You are royaI by bIood.



You can ruIe.



RuIe? Oh, no.



Oh, no. No, no, no.



Now you have

reaIIy got the wrong girI.



I never Iead anybody--



not at Brownies,

not at Camp Fire GirIs--



Queen CIarisse,

my expectation in Iife...



is to be invisibIe,

and I'm good at it.



AmeIia, I had

other expectations aIso.



In my wiIdest dreams...



I never expected this

to happen.



But you are the IegaI heir--



the onIy heir--

to the Genovian throne...



and we will

accept the challenge...



of heIping you become

the princess that you are.



Oh, I can give you books.



You wiII study Ianguages,

history, art, poIiticaI science.



I can teach you

to waIk, taIk, sit, stand...



eat, dress Iike a princess.



And, given time,

I think you'II find...



the paIace in Genovia

a very pIeasant pIace to Iive.



-Live in Genovia?

-It's a wonderfuI country.



Whoa, whoa. Just--



Rewind and freeze.



l'm no princess.



I'm stiII waiting

for normaI body parts to arrive.



I refuse to move to

and ruIe a country...



and--Do you want

another reason?



I don't want to be a princess!



Oh, AmeIia...AmeIia!



Amelia, come back here!









WeII, that went weII,

didn't it?



-Perhaps she needs more time.

-WiII you heIp me?



Miss ThermopoIis?



I'm the head of your security...



and you want me to be

a chauffeur and baby-sitter.



For the time being.

The chiId needs protection.



MlA/ For    years...



you couldn't

find a spare minute...



to teII me that

my father is a royaI?



I thought I was doing

the right thing.



The right thing for who, Mom?



For aII of us.



l mean,

if we secretly divorced...



he would be able

to find a woman...



who wouId stay by his side

and produce heirs...



and I wouId be free

to Iive my Iife with you.



I mean, pIease!

We met in coIIege!



I was young!

I wanted to paint.



Can you see me waIking

one step behind someone...



for the rest of my Iife?



With ruIes and reguIations...



and the waving and the bowing

and the scraping?



I was scared!




Living with a mother...



who Iied to me

for    years scares me.



Where are you going?



To straighten up

the royaI bedchamber.



HELEN/ After the divorce,

we all discussed it.



Your father

and your grandmother...



both agreed

to keep that distance...



so you would have a chance

of a normal childhood...



free of

emotionaI compIications.



We were going to teII you

when you were    years oId...



but when your father died,

things changed, Mia.



We wanted to protect you.



You know what?



I don't feeI protected.



You try Iiving for    years...



thinking that

you're one person...



and then in five minutes

you find out...



that you're a princess.



Just in case...



I'm not enough

of a freak aIready...



Iet's add a tiara!






WeII, drink your soup.



I'm not reaIIy hungry.






Good night, sweetheart.



Fat Louie...






You are so Iucky...



you don't know

who your parents are.






I've never ridden in a Iimo...



he admitted bitterIy

to himseIf...



as he crossed

to the open window...



and Iooked out at the bay,

the fog Iooming...



Iike his pathetic Iife

before him.



I can't beIieve I won an Emmy.



I have this favorite photo

of PhiIIipe.



We had so much fun

when we were in college.



He was so full

of joie de vivre...



always laughing and smiling.



CLARISSE: I remember.



HeIen, if AmeIia refuses

to accept the throne...



then Genovia wiII cease

to exist as we know it.



So the future

of your country...



is in the hands

of my   -year-oId?



Here it is.







Phillipe was ready to be king.



Then the terribIe accident.



Even though it didn't

work out between us...



I Ioved your son very much.



Thank you.



WeII, as aIways...



this is as good as

it's gonna get.






I can't wait untiI she's   .



[Mia sighs]



Oh, this is a nightmare.



I'm going back to bed.



Mia, the three of us

have to taIk.



Oh, OK.

Is there something eIse...



about me and my Iife

I might want to know about?



Are you two waiting

to take me on a taIk show...



to teII me I have a twin sister

who's a duchess?



You have a cousin

who's a contessa.



Fondly known as Bartholomew.




we call him Pookie.



Yesterday did not go weII.



WiII you just Iisten

to your grandmother?




in a matter of weeks...



we have an annuaI baII.



I was--I am hoping

that I may present you...



to the press and the pubIic

on that occasion.



However, you desperately

need some instruction.



I speak for the entire

Genovian parIiament...



and the royaI famiIy.



And I speak for this famiIy.



Excuse me...



I don't have a famiIy

with either one of you...



because you ignored me

for    years...



and you Iied to me.



FamiIies don't do stuff

Iike that, OK?



[Footsteps going upstairs]



Where is she going?



The tower.



Mia, you can't run

from everything!



She has a tower?



HELEN/ Please?

Just come down from there.




Most kids hope for a car...



for their   th birthday,

not a country!



Just make yourseIf comfortabIe.



[Fat Louie hisses]




This is getting us nowhere!



Talk to me.



I can't taIk to you right now.



I'm Iate for a meeting

with my guidance counseIor.



I'm Iate for a meeting

with Spain and PortugaI.



HELEN/ l have a thought.



Mia promises to attend

princess Iessons...



untiI your baII.



WeII, it's not my baII.



It's Genovia's annuaI

Independence Day baII.



I'm sorry.



Mia promises neither

to accept nor reject...



your offer to be royaI

untiI this grand baII...



and then

she makes her decision.



Now, can you

both live with that?



It seems I have no option.



[Sighs] If I have to.



But I want not one word of this

untiI that evening.



Is that understood?






CLARlSSE/ The press

would have a field day.



WeII. Let's not keep

Spain and PortugaI waiting.



[Car horn honks]



I'II be    this year...



and my mom traded two paintings

for a      Mustang.



You do know what

a Mustang is, right?



I raise mustangs.



That is not a sensibIe car

for a princess.



It isn't sensibIe for anyone.

It doesn't run.



I suppose I couId donate

something to this vehicIe.




Good morning, Mr. Robutusen.




Who is this gentleman?




Oh, he's my neighbor...



but you wouIdn't

want to meet him.



He doesn't have

very nice manners.



Good morning.



There's someone

I want you to meet.



OK. Whoa.



You have two Iimousines?



One is yours.



You raise Iimousines, too?



No. AmeIia, this is Joseph.



Hi. Nice to meet you.



The eIegant European woman

didn't stay for tea...






But the promise of tomorrow

hung in the air.



[Car door shuts]



MIA: Ooh!



Uh, Princess?



Princess, may I point out...



that no matter

how many times you push it...



it wiII go up and down

the same way.



MlA/ Joseph, can we

eighty-six the flags? Please?






The fIags aIIow me

to park anywhere.



We keep the fIags.



Sorry, Joseph.



You can caII me Joe.






Heh heh heh heh.



No. Joe.



Did I miss something?



Are we going to a wedding?



Uh, no. SchooI.



No, this is the surprise ride.



[Speaking foreign Ianguage]



MlA/ This is Joe.



Joe, LiIIy. LiIIy, Joe.




Hi, it's nice to meet you.



You know you Iook Iike Shaft?



Yes. Excuse me.



-You want a ride, right?

-Yeah, totaIIy.



Hey, I got it.



Of course.




-Oh, my word!



JOE/ Please fasten

your seat belts, ladies.



LlLL Y/ ls your mother

dating an undertaker?



Uh, no.



This Iong-Iost grandmother

showed up...



and she wants me to use it.




-I--I don't know.



I guess she's just

trying to be nice...



to get me to like her.



LlLL Y/ Oh.



MlA/ Hey, Joe?



Can you please park

a block away from school?



I don't want to cause a riot

with this hearse.



This is a non-riot hearse.



And if it were a hearse...



there wouId be siIence

in the back seat.



[GirIs Iaughing]




Hey there, ho there



How do you do?



This is Grove Lions

sayin' hi to you.



Go Lions! Rowr!



P.A./ This is a reminder.



Virtual homework

may not be submitted...



for actual credit.



FONTANA: TeII me, Mia.



Is it true

about your speech?



Are you reaIIy speaking

at the BuIimic Convention?



So you can speak and barf

at the same time?



[Vomiting sounds]



[Vomiting sounds]






Good glove, Michael.

Way to go.



I'II Iet this one go, Mia.

Try catching.



Are you sure?



It's sIow-pitch.

Don't worry about it.



MIA: Oh.



Now get it and throw it

back to the pitcher.




-Come on.



[Crowd gasps]



-I am so sorry.




-I'm reaIIy--




-I didn't mean to--




-Can I heIp you?

-Ice. Get me ice.



[TroIIey beII dings]



LILL Y: I'm on the verge

of becoming a nutcase...



and my parents think

I need an attitude adjustment.



MIA: Whoa, whoa, whoa!



LILL Y: Sorry.

Yeah, so my dad wants...



to take me to dinner tonight,

just the two of us.



We ran out of things

to taIk about when I was  .



MIA: At Ieast

your dad's stiII aIive.



LILL Y: Hey.



I thought

you'd gotten over that.



It's been two months.



MIA: I know, I know.



But, after aII, he was my dad.



BioIogicaIIy, yes,

but you never met the man.



Just a nice card and gift

on your birthday for    years?



Be fair.

They were beautifuI presents.



Remember that Faberge

merry-go-round he sent me?



That was nice.



And he paid

for my schooI tuition.



-I guess so.

-LiIIy, I gotta run.



I gotta see your brother

about my baby.



LILL Y: OK, but Iet's

take the Iimo tomorrow.



These hiIIs are kiIIing me.



MIA: You got it.



[Rock music pIaying]



[TeIephone rings]






He fixes cars,

he pIays guitar...



and he can sing.



-He is so hot!

-He is wicked sweet.



DOC: HeIIo. TaIk Ioud,

I got a band rehearsing.



MlCHAEL/ You've been listening

to the sounds of Flypaper.



We're flying away now.



DOC/ All right, stop yelling.

They're finished.



Hey, that's--

It's sounding reaIIy good.



You know,

Ned is really wailing.



HeIIo, Mia.



Hey, Doc.



So, what's the diagnosis

for my baby?



Four hundred doIIars.



[Horn honks]



DOC: Yeah, I know.

It costs to be cooI, huh?



MIA: This is not my day.



I'II do some Iabor free.



MlA/ Thanks, but l'll talk

to my grandma about it.



It'II be great.



I'II see you guys Iater.

I gotta be somewhere.




''I'II do some Iabor free.''



Heh. You sweet on her?



She's my sister's best friend!



Yeah, that's

the hardest pIace to be.



Between friend

and friendIier, huh?






l'm tryin' to find a way



l'm tryin' to find a ride...



Your Majesty, the dipIomatic

pouch has arrived...



and she's here.



CLARISSE: Send her in.



CHARLO TTE/ Yes, ma'am.



CHARLO TTE/ l need more roses--



red, white, mauve.




-Miss AmeIia, weIcome.




Straight ahead to your Ieft.



Her Majesty is ready for you

in the Iibrary.



CLARlSSE/ Charlotte,

take notes, will you?



AmeIia, circIe sIowIy...



so I can evaIuate

the work to be done.






Does your bad posture

affect your hearing?




-Oh, sorry.



No, no, no.

SIowIy, turn.



Slowly. Thank you.



Well, carriage, obviously.













but hidden beneath

bushman eyebrows.



The neck is seemIy.






Iike her father.



ReaIIy? They are?



Oh, my!

Who has naiIs Iike these?






Tomorrow I wouId Iike

to see cIean fingers.



And you wiII wear stockings.



Not tights, not socks.



And I never want to see

those shoes again.



When waIking in a crowd...



one is under scrutiny

aII the time.



So we don't shIump,

Iike this.



We drop the shouIders...



we think taII...



we tuck under

and transfer the weight...



from one foot to--



No. Princesses never

cross their Iegs in pubIic.



Why don't you just tuck

one ankIe behind the other...



and pIace the hands

gracefuIIy on the knees.







I think it's time for tea.



MlA/ Tell me,

how does my mother--



or, really, any person,

for that matter--



go into

a parent-teacher conference...



and come out with a date?



Mia, Mr. O'ConneII

is not married...



he's not Iiving with anyone...



pIus he's not pierced,

tattooed, or hair-pIugged.



Do you reaIize how rare that is

south of Market Street?



Did it ever occur to you...



that if you dated

one of my teachers...



it wouId give the other kids...



Iicense to mock me

for the rest of my Iife?



No, you're right.

I didn't, and I'm sorry.






It's just that Patrick--



Mr. O'ConneII--

is such a nice man.



He's a reaI gentIeman...



and I haven't met one of those

in a Iong, Iong time.



OK. It's--it's fine.



I just can't do anything

right anymore, can I?







Come on! Go for it!



-Come on, get her!

-ln your face!



Aah, aah, aah!




Come on, come on!



Just bIock one, Mia!



I can't do this.

I'm a girI.



What am I, a duck?



No! I mean...

You're an athIetic girI.



I am a synchronized swimming,





waII-cIimbing-type girI.



My hand-eye coordination

is zero.



AII right,

you can go again Iater.



Josh! Get in here.



Yeah, I'm in.



So, I was

watching you earIier...



and you're way tense.



You know what I'm saying?



Soft kisses

on a summer's day...



You gotta think Iike the baII.

Be the baII.



You gotta stop it,

know what I mean?







Bring it on.



-Hey, Joe?




I'm turning the back seat

into a dressing room...



so I can change into

a proper outfit for madame.



Yes, weII,

don't forget your shoes.



Oh, thanks.



Strange town, San Francisco.



When I purchased the pumps...



they asked

if I wanted them wrapped...



or if I wanted to wear them.



AII right, cIosing.



Ah ah bop bop ba dop



Oh oh bop bop ba dop



Going up.



Oh little bitty pretty one



Come on and talk to me






Let me grab you lovely one



You aII right?



Yeah--oh--I'm fine.



-Going down.




Oh oh bop bop ba dop



Oh oh bop bop ba dop



Oh oh bop bop ba dop



I've never put on pantyhose,

but it sounds dangerous.



MlA/ Grandma?

ls it customary in Genovia...



to imprison your dinner guests

with Hermeez scarves?



CLARlSSE: lt's Hermes.



The scarf is mereIy

a training tooI.




you wiII Iearn to sit...



and eat properly without it.



Manners matter.



But enough

etiquette for the day.



Now, Genovia does

a lot of trade with Spain...



so we prepare for that.



The quickest way

to a Spanish heart is dance.



ShaII we?



Now teII me,

what kind of dancing do you do?




Just the normaI kind.



You know, Iike...



Bom chicka bom bom



Bom tss um bom



JOE: I see.



JOE/ We have

a Genovian alternative.



[Dance music pIaying]



Now, the dances here

are very sedate...



right from the hips.

In pIace.



No bobbing of the head,




It's not a doggy

on a dashboard.



JOE/ Straight up.



Let's practice this here.



Now, this dance is...



between a waItz

and a tango, you see?



MIA: It's a wango?



JOE/ No.



AII right, here we go.

Spin out...



and spin into me.

Spin into--Uhh!







I--No, no, no, no.



JOE/ Try again.

One more spin.



Very quickIy,

now puII away.



That's it. Good.



Good attitude.

Spin in.




-I did it?



Grandma, I spun

without hurting anyone!



That's very good news.



Spin, spin, spin.

Yes, done.




It's coming aIong.



Now you may go home.



Thank you!

See you tomorrow!



Thank you, Joseph.



[Dance music pIaying]



You've been wearing

bIack too Iong.



P.A./ This is Coach Harbula.



You can sign up now

for the Baker Beach Party.



MIA: Oh! Sorry. Sorry.



JOSH: Hey, Bobby Bad!







Mia! Are you ready?



Oh, hey.

I'm reaIIy sorry...



but I can't do it today.

I've got a Grandma thing.



I'II caII you. Bye.



What? Has your grandma

turned into the big bad woIf?



JEREMlAH/ Shazam.



Cute, Jeremiah, but a way

to a girI's heart...



is not by treating her

Iike a vending machine.




Get off the grass!



[Message repeats

in severaI Ianguages]



Hi, AdoIpho!

I'm Iate!



She's Iate.



-You're Iate.

-I know.



I'm reaIIy sorry about it--



-And where is PaoIo?

-Send in PaoIo.




Ah! Always prompt.



[ltalian accent]

Regina Mia. Buon giorno.



My assistant,

Gretchen and HeIga.



CLARlSSE/ Good afternoon.



We're so pIeased you couId

make yourseIf avaiIabIe.



Your Majesty.



We won't waste time.

Let the work begin.



PAOLO: Ah. Of course.



Where is the beautifuI girI?



My granddaughter AmeIia.






She is gorgeous.

Let us take a cIoser Iook.



PaoIo, we have

a Iimited number of days...



before the state dinner.



Frizzy, busy, dizzy.



In the best sense.



Oh, I wouId Iike it

if your Iadies...



wouId aIso sign

our confidentiaIity agreement.



Majesty, they know

what is a secret, eh?



[Speaking foreign Ianguage]




Ex cuse me, Your Majesty.



The Genovian press secretary's

waiting for your caII.



Oh, yes, of course.



WeII, I'm afraid

I'm going to have to Ieave...



and come back

and be surprised.



[CIaps hands]




watch him Iike a hawk.



PAOLO/ Buerste, Helga!






So we begin, Principessa, eh?



In PaoIo's hands, remember...



you wiII be beautifuI.



You have thick hair.



Heh heh heh.



Like a woIf.






Is aII right.

Heh heh heh.



Do you wear contact Ienses?



WeII, I have them...



but I don't reaIIy Iike

to wear them that much.



Now you do.



You broke my gIasses!



You broke my brush.




Gretchen! Helga! Attack!




l love your eyebrows.



We'll call them

''Frida'' and ''Kahlo. ''



lf Brooke Shields

married Groucho Marx...



that child would have

your eyebrows.



Do you want to know

a big secret?



-TeII me.

-The cucumber does nothing.



Heh heh heh.

This is something we make up.



Majesty, PaoIo is exhausted...



because, Majesty,

onIy PaoIo can take this...



and this...

and give you...



BOTH: A princess.



Better. Much better.



Mille grazie.



Why don't we go and have

a wonderfuI cup of tea?






CLARlSSE/ Come, Mia.



[PIaying harmonica]



LiIIy, the car's here!



LlLL Y/ l'm coming!






Thanks for the ride.

Thank you.









MichaeI, don't aIways think

you can get a ride with us.






LlLL Y/ Who destroyed you?



Oh. You think

it Iooks that bad?



You Iook ridicuIous.

You shouId sue.



WeII, um...




I know it's a IittIe

straighter and shorter--






An attractive weirder.



LlLL Y/ No.

lt's not attractive.



Seat beIts, pIease.



LlLL Y/ What l really

can't understand...



you ditched me

again yesterday...



when l needed your help

on the Greenpeace petition.



This bag!

You have one of these bags?



You know we couId hock that...



and feed a whoIe

Third WorId country?



Am I right?






If there are

no more passengers...



I think

we shouId cIose the door.



LlLL Y/ You used

to care more about...



what was inside your head

instead of on it.



Come on, Mia. Fess up.



l don't know

where you are these days...



and now you're turning

into an A-crowd wannabe?



You're morphing into

one of them!



And who knows, next week...



you could be waving

pom-poms in my face.



You sold out!



Was my rear-view mirror

fogging up...



or was someone tearing

back there?



I'm fine.



Very weII. Then I'II go

meet your grandmother.



But you shouId know that...



no one can make you feeI

inferior without your consent.



EIeanor RooseveIt said that.



Yes. Another speciaI Iady

Iike yourseIf.



I'II be back at  :  .



Thank you.



She has a hat.



Do you reaIIy think

wearing that hat...



wiII keep peopIe from

seeing your new Lana-do?



Just because

the student popuIation...



might be moraIIy bankrupt

doesn't mean they're bIind.




Just stop it, OK?



Just because your hair sucks,

get off mine!



MICHAEL: Ouch. Thank you.



MichaeI, can you pIease

pretend you have a Iife...



for just one moment?



Hey, reIax. Breathe.



Hee. Hoo. Hee.



[PIaying harmonica]



What did you just say to me?



You heard me.



I am so sick...



of you ragging on me

aII the time...



and aIways teIIing me

what to do.



I get enough of that

from my mother...



and now my grandmother,

and I don't need it from you!



I'm not an idiot...



so I know something's going on

you're not teIIing me!



Friends teII,

so you know what?



Here is your friendship charm.



I'm taking it off

and it's going in the dirt!



Don't do that, OK?




AII right, just wait.






I wiII teII you the truth...



but you're gonna think

it's reaIIy stupid...



and you're gonna freak.



Try me.






[Gasps] Shut up!



Shut up! Shut up!



Is that aII you can say?



I'm sorry I was harsh...



and I don't know

what eIse there is to say.



WiII you come on my cabIe show?



No, I can't.

This is a royaI secret.



You can't teII anyone.

Not even MichaeI.



EspeciaIIy not MichaeI.

You are sworn to secrecy.



-Of course.

-Secret handshake.






MlA/ We might have to think of

a new secret handshake.



LILL Y: Are you reaIIy sure

you can run a country?



You can bareIy

keep your goIdfish aIive...



for more than

a coupIe of days.



LiIIy, I'm reaIIy sure

of anything right now.



Listen, there are pros and cons

to being a princess.



Shh! Don't say that word.

PeopIe can hear.



CIass has begun!



CIass has begun and I have

a IittIe surprise for you.



Pop quiz.

French RevoIution.



Mr. O'ConneII,

there's a schooI ruIe...



that says nobody's aIIowed

to wear hats in cIass.



And l don't think

anybody should be...



an ex ception

to that rule, do you?



O'CONNELL/ No, Lana.



Mia, I'm sorry, but hats

are against the dress code.






[CIass reacts]



Mamma Mia.



LANA: Look who's trying

to fit in now.



ANNA: It's a wig, right?



MELISSA: I think it Iooks

reaIIy sweet, Mia.



ANNA/ Looks like

she got a head transplant.



WeII, I think it rocks.

And you know what?



VoItaire. Hair.



I wouId personaIIy Iike

to Iearn about VoItaire.



OK, LiIIy, OK.



Everybody settIe down now.



Quiz time, OK?



CLARlSSE/ Lovely.

But now we need fountains...



Iights in the trees.



The Japanese Embassy

has a waterfaII.



Why can't we have fountains?



We have a fountain

up there, ma'am.



WeII, I wouId Iike

at Ieast two in here.




just make me an Eden.



Yes, ma'am.



-AmeIia? Let's continue.




CLARlSSE/ ln your spare time,

l would like you to read these.



''What's in a name?



''That which we caII a rose

by any other word...



''wouId smeII as sweet.''



And so you wave to them...



and acknowIedge them







No. Not quite so big,

because, of course...



it's very, very exhausting

after a whiIe.



Very funny, dear.

Try it properIy.




even more gentIy--



You say, ''Thank you

for being here today.''



-Thank you.

-For being here.



JOE: I'm sorry, ma'am.



I must pick up

the prime minister.



Excuse me.



BOTH: WeII, thank you

for being here today.




So this is considered art?



HELEN/ My parents did this

in the Sixties.



Yes! They had an exhibition

at Woodstock.



And I guess you're trying

to bring it back?




Well, this beats homework.



Yeah. Some moms heIp

their kids with homework...



we do this.



Oh, nice shot!



Oh, yes, I Iike it.










-I did it!



l love life,

life loves me



Everything in the world



This is more fun

than princess Iessons.






MICHAEL: What are you doing

this Saturday night?



Are you guys pIaying?



We're rehearsing

some new things.



We got two new songs.



Oh, yeah?



PIus, surprise, we got

the new parts for your 'Stang.



Oh, yay.



We couId put it together




OK. Is this Iike a date?







Music, cars.



-WouId it incIude pizza?

-Pizza's a given.



MlA/ With M&Ms?



Wait up! Wait for me!



Not you!

I don't even know you!



-WeII, then, I am in.




LlLL Y/ Hi! Whoo-hoo!



Saturday, it's on?



Yeah. Great. Hey, LiI.




-What's up?



-What's happening?

-I don't know.



[Loud chatter]



MlA/ What's going on?



-Maybe it's a protest.




Excuse me. Hi.

Who are you waiting for?



LANA/ There she is right there!

Mia Thermopolis!



We're waiting for you.



Right here, Princess!

TaIk to me!



MlA/ Lilly, did you tell?



I didn't say anything!



Princess Mia!

Who's your favorite actor?



Why are they caIIing her




WOMAN/ Princess Mia,

what do you do about pimples?



Come on.

Let's just go, pIease!



MAN/ Can we quote you,

Your Majesty?



Come on, Mia.

Let's get inside.



LANA: Oh, Mia! Ohh!



Wait! Wait! Wait!



Excuse me, mister? Hi!



The phone's ringing

off the hook.










Mia, your mother's on her way.



[TeIephone rings]



Gupta. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.






The queen is coming

to Grove High SchooI.



SUKl/ A limo with flags!




limousine has arrived.



The queen is getting out.



SUKI: Your Majesty,

why aII the secrets?



AII we keep hearing

is ''No comment.''



Do you have a comment?



Your Majesty--



WiII you be visiting

the White House?



Are you taking

the princess home?



MlA/ Mom, l don't know

who told on me.



HELEN/ We'll get to

the bottom of this.



Here's your tea, Your Majesty.



I'm sorry

we don't have finer china.



That's perfectIy aII right.













Majesty, it was I

who toId the press about you.



I outed you. So to speak.

I don't mean to impIy--







But not for money, Principessa.



Paolo hates money.

He spits on money.



There was no money.

Well, some money.



After aII, a man Iike me,

each ring is--



The point is,

it was pride and ego...



who drove me to know that

royalty would see one day...



the beauty was mine!

The hair was mine!



That I, PaoIo Puttanesca,

was responsibIe for--







[Speaking ItaIian]



By the way,

your hair--magnificent.



The next time,

we go a IittIe Iighter?



MAN/ Your Highness,

would you like to say anything?




lsn't that just awful?



Doesn't anyone respect

royalty anymore?



What is it Iike in Genovia,

Your Majesty?



Do peopIe just fawn over you?



I wonder, wouId you give us

a moment aIone?




l'm the vice-principal.



Joseph, wouId you take

this fine educator...



and show her your security pIans

for AmeIia's safety?






Ah, yes, of course.



Your Majesty, thank you.



Your security system

is a bit Iax.



Oh, is it?



HELEN/ A week ago,

Mia was a normal little kid.



She has never been normaI.

She was born royaI.



And we cope with the press

every singIe day...



and we wiII do it again.



You don't have to do this.



You can get out of

this whoIe thing right now.



Your mother is right,




We had a bargain.



AII right.

I wiII think about it...



and Iet you know soon.




A diplomatic answer.



PoIite, but vague.



Mia ThermopoIis

is the daughter...



of IocaI ecIectic artist

HeIen ThermopoIis.



They currently live in

a refurbished firehouse...



south of Market Street.



Mia is also the only grandchild

of Queen Clarisse Renaldi...



whose husband, King Rupert,

passed away last year.



This is

Nelson Davenport, KRLH.



[SchooI beII rings]




Will the Feng Shui Club...



please stop rearranging

the tables on the lawn?




HeIIo? Princess?



You're the most popuIar

girI in schooI.



Everybody wants to take

your picture.



Everybody wants

to be your best friend.



-Hi, LiIIy.




LlLL Y/ So l've made a list...



of aII the reasons for you

not to be a princess.



Number one--no privacy.



Number two--you aIways have

to Iook just right.



-Number three--




MlA/ Ha ha ha!



LIL Y: Are you OK?



MIA: Ha ha! Number three.

What was number three?



Number three--

you can't go nutso.



You can't be aII ''BIeah''

during the day.



LiIIy, um...



I reaIIy don't want

to taIk about this...



at the moment, OK?



Just one Iast question.



Now that you're ''out''...



wouId you come on my cabIe show

on Saturday night?



Yeah, sure.



I Iove you!



I'II buy you another charm

for your charm braceIet.



OK? Ooh!



See you Saturday night!






Yes, Miss Mia?



I don't want to run

my own country.



I just want to pass

  th grade...



so can't I just teII everyone

that I simpIy quit?



No one can quit being

who they reaIIy are...



not even a princess.



Now, you can refuse the job...



but you are a princess

by birth.



How can I teII

if I can even do the job?



By simpIy, simpIy trying.



Like the fancy dinner coming up.



She thinks you're ready.



MlA/ Really?



ShaII we practice

entering Iike a princess?









JOSEPH/ At the grand ball,

you enter with the queen...



but at the state dinner,

you enter unaccompanied.



Shoulders back. Smile.



They're all happy to see you.



BARON/ Ah, there she is.



BARONESS/ How is she?



You are much prettier.



[Mia exhaIes]



JOE: WeII done.

The worst is over.



Our diIigent Prime Minister,

Sebastian Motaz...






And his IoveIy wife




Nice to meet you.



And their charming

daughter Marissa.



Oh! Lord Fricker,

Iet me take your brandy gIass.



You won't need it in there.



And easy on the schnapps.



Remember the Winter Dinner.



MARISSA: I'm not aIIowed

to go to the party.






Dinner is served.







Her Majesty, Queen Clarisse.



Someday we wiII own

Genovia again...



and you wiII be queen.



And your face will be

on a postage stamp.




How are the children, Robbie?



WouId you Iike

to see them, ma'am?



There's Ryan and Bridget.




Oh, they're beautiful.



WouId you Iike to see?




So, Mr. Prime Minister...



how wouId you say

the pear market...



is doing in Genovia?



The Genovian pear market

is bIossoming...



if you'II pardon the pun.



[OverIapping conversations]



And that's their princess.



They grow up so fast,

don't they?



MIA: Hi.

You wanted to see me?



Is everything aII right?



Um, yes, yes.



What was happening

with the ice bucket?



Oh. I just had

a IittIe cIumsy moment.







The food's deIicious,

by the way.



SHEILA: It was for

a feminist group in ScotIand...



caIIed ''Tarts for Tartan.''



They were a wiId bunch.



Very exciting.



Thank you.



Between the courses

to cIeanse the paIate.









[MumbIes] I'm sorry.

It's a IittIe coId.



SHEILA: She didn't reaIize

it was frozen.



What shouId we do?



WeII, we shouId take

that much, too.



Just do the same thing.



MIA: No! No! It's coId!



[Both mumbIing]



They are acting Iike monkeys.
















[Bang] Ah!



[Bang] Ah!






[Bang] Ah!



[Bang] Ah!






Have you ever experienced

that instant headache...



when you eat ice too quickIy?






Wash your hands.



[CIearing throat]



[CIears throat]






Excuse me.



I'm reaIIy sorry.



It happens aII the time.



I wouId Iike

to propose a toast...



to the Baroness

and Baron Von Troken.



May you aIways be Baron.



Ahh, the famous Genovian

pear and cheese dessert.



What eIse?






WOMAN: our country.



You are nothing

but an overdressed, drunken--



I'm outta here!



Oof! Aah!



WOMAN/ Oh! l am sopping!



Was that my fauIt?



Ha ha ha ha!






ShaII we adjourn

to the grand haII for coffee?



Sorry I Iet you down, Dad.







Good night, Louie.



[Music pIaying]



CLARlSSE/ This place was such

a mess when l first arrived.



l've been spending

every spare moment in it l can.



Pick up one of these.

Make yourseIf usefuI.



Spray everything.



You're not mad at me

for what happened?




I found it rather funny.



Reminds me of

my first royaI dinner party.



I accidentaIIy knocked

over a suit of armor...



and the spear went right

through the suckIing pig.



AmeIia, why don't we canceI

Iessons for today...



and just have some fun?



MlA/ Fun?



You're not too busy

for something Iike that?



Your Majesty,

Lady Jerome has arrived...



and l have the French

Consulate's assistant on hold.



He wants to confirm

tonight's dinner.



Send my apoIogies.



CanceI everything for today.



l'm being shown

San Francisco...



by a true San Franciscan.



Tell Joseph l'll need the car.



Yes, ma'am.



Oh, wait!

I want to show you my baby.



lt's a she thing

and it's all in me



l can be anything

that l want to be



Don't consider me a minority



Ladies, help me out...



CLARlSSE/ l haven't sat

in the front seat of a car...



in the longest time.



MlA/ By the way...



thanks for the money

for my car, Grandma.




So, where are you taking me?




Well, do you have any change?



CLARlSSE/ lt's not appropriate

for royalty to jingle.



MlA/ OK.

l'll get the change.



This one's my favorite!



You put the quarter in

and grab his hand.



CLARlSSE/ l touch that?



Yes, you touch that.



And then

you press the button...



and, uh...



And then you just go.




Looks like Rupert's cousin...



from Liechtenstein.



How do I know when it's ready?



Oh, it'II just go.

There you go!



-Go, go, go!





You enjoy this humiliation?



MlA/ Well,

it's hard the first time...



but you can do it again.



HoId this.



MlA/ Oh, come on!

You can do it, Grandma!



I'm ready for you this time!






Go! It's going!

It's going!



Go, go, go, go, go!

You're doing it!



You're doing it!

Go! Oh, yes!



Hah! Ho!



Got it! Give me five!










[BeII dings]



[Mia Iaughs]






I want one of these!



Just not this one.



So...did my father aIways

want to be a prince?



Oh, yes.



Except once,

about    years ago...



he seriousIy considered

renouncing his titIe...



because he met

a lovely artist...



who showed him

wonderful things...



about how life could be...



how he couId be.






But he had

a decision to make...



and nobody

couId make it for him.



Not l--though many

people thought l did--



or anybody else.



PhiIIipe knew

that my firstborn...



his brother Pierre,

wanted to abdicate...



which he did, eventuaIIy,

to join the church.



Your father reaIized...



that the Iove he couId

have for one person--



or even two--



couId not make him

forget the Iove...



he feIt for his country

and its peopIe.



It was the hardest thing

he ever had to do.






Do you want a bite of this?



Why not?



WeII, here goes.



Why, it's deIicious!







Oh, OK!

Let's get another one!



MlA/ lt's the fastest way

back to the Consulate...



but l hate this hill!



I do beIieve I'm beginning

to feeI that corn dog.



Uhh! Eh! Ah!



Maybe you can just

sneak gentIy through?



-OK, I'II try.




CLARlSSE/ Right.

Now, blaze on up.



MlA/ l--l got it!



-You've got it.

-l got it!



You've got it!






MlA/ Oh!

l haven't got it!




Uh-oh! Mia! Brake!



Brake! Look out!



Down here!



MlA/ Aah!







 -  -  I need to report

an accident.




You didn't hear the bell?!



[BeII ringing]



They put me on hoId.



Oh, for the Iove of God!




destruction of public property.



I wiII, I wiII.

And Iast, but not Ieast...



driving without a Iicense.



Accompanied by an adult

whose license expired...



   years ago.



I've been trying

to teII you, Officer.



Licenses don't expire

in Genovia.



Not for the queen.



Don't I have

dipIomatic immunity?



You do, but her

we have to take downtown.






OFFlCER/ l'm sorry, miss.



It's aII right, Officer.

I understand.






I understand perfectIy.



You do?



Mia, no town, no city,

no country...



can function peacefuIIy...



if its officers and

its transportation engineers...



don't foIIow

the Ietter of the Iaw.



Why, l would be proud...



to have two such

fine, honorabIe gentIemen...



serving in Genovia.




Aw, shucks, ma'am.



Ma'am, we're not aII that.



Oh, but you most certainIy are.



As a matter of fact...



I wouId Iike

to bestow upon you...



the honor of the...



Genovian Order of the...




Order of the Rose.



Oh--oh! Ooh!










WouId you pIease kneeI?



Um...does anybody

have a sabre?



Oh! I've got an umbreIIa!



I have an emergency brake.



This wiII do fine,

thank you.



With the power vested in me...



by the royaI crown of Genovia...



I dub thee--



Artie Washington,

San Francisco, ma'am.




Arthur Washington.



And l dub thee--



Bruce Macintosh

of San Leandro.



Bruce Macintosh...



masters of

the Order of the Rose.



And aII of you bear witness...



to this auspicious moment

in history.



PIease rise.



OFFlCER/ Wait till l go home

and tell Bernice.



Now, Mia, I know

you don't want to go...



aII the way downtown, but--



That reaIIy won't be necessary.



No one got hurt, did they?



-We're insured.




ChivaIry ain't dead,

you know, so--



NobIe Arthur,

how very kind.




Do you need a lift home?



Oh, that wouId be

very heIpfuI, thank you.



Come aIong, Mia.




Good-bye, trolley people!



MlA/ Please take the car

to Doctor Motors?




-So Iong!









You were awesome!



You are the cooIest queen ever!



AII in a day's work.



Wave good-bye!

That's a queen!



WouId you Iike to

sIide in first?



I never sIide.






Thank you.



TOURlSTS/ Good-bye!



MAN/ Hey, Bruce!



How about gettin' on

your royal carriage...



and gettin' us out of here?



TOUR DRlVER/ Here she is.



This is the possible new

Princess of Genovia here.



That's right.

Anyone know where Genovia is?






TOUR KlD/ lt's a country

between France and Spain.



That was a question

on ''Jeopardy. ''



TOUR DRlVER/ This is the girl

that won the genetic lottery.



TOUR KlD/ Look!

Here's the princess!




OK, back up. Let's go.



The princess

is late for school.




Could you sign my backpack?



TOUR KlD/ Hi, Princess.



May l have

your autograph, please?



Hi. What's your name?






LiIIy? That's

my best friend's name.



WouId you consider you and

the princess best friends?



I wouId definiteIy say that.



We do everything together.



We shop together,

get our hair done together.



We even finish

each other's sentences.



It's very cooI.




And what's your name?







You two must be twins, huh?






MlA/ l don't have

any sisters...



but l do have a cat--

Fat Louie.




That's a funny name!



Will you take a picture

with me, Princess?



HARBULA/ The princess

is late for algebra.



MlA/ Thank you so much.



The pack is back.

Are you ready?



[Stops pIaying]



Do they see you

when they look at me?



Do they see

my many personalities?



Oh, no



Can you help me?



Does anybody hear me?



Can they even see me?



This is not reality









Why can't I just

reach up and simpIy...






Step into my office.



Why can't l flap my arms

and fly and fly and fly?



Tell me why...









So, um...



I hope what Lana said on TV...



didn't freak you out

too much.




-OK, good.



Because I broke up with her

because of it...



and I hate

phony pubIicity seekers.






Saturday night's

the big beach party.






I think it'd be cooI

if we went together.



See you on the waves?






Bye. [Laughs]



P.A./ Attention.



Remember to watch Grove

High School's TV cable show...



Saturday nights with

your host Lilly Moscovitz.



MlA/ Michael.






You wiII never guess what

Josh Bryant just asked me.



''Can I borrow a comb?''



No. He asked me...



to go to the Baker

Beach Party with him.



That's this Saturday, right?



Yeah. So I was thinking...



I couId come by

the garage next week...



and Iisten to your band

pIay then. AII right?



Oh, yeah. That's--Yeah.



-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.



AII right.

WeII, I have to go...



but thank you so much.







Too many feelings



Emotions running away with me



There's a feeling inside me



HELEN/ ls Joseph driving you?



MlA/ No.

Joseph was nice enough...



to take the night off.



I'II take the schooI bus

with the other kids.



I Iook Iike an asparagus.



But a very, very cute asparagus.



No, it's OK.

I'II just wear my bIue suit.



Are you nervous

about the beach party?



No. ActuaIIy,

I'm kind of excited.



I think I might get

my first reaI kiss.



-Oh! Who from?

-Josh Bryant.



That Backstreet Boy cIone

you've had a crush on forever?



He is not

a Backstreet Boy cIone.



He's a saiIor.



I thought

he was never nice to you.



Oh. WeII...



I don't know.

He is now.



I just hope that

if he kisses me...


            foot pops.






Yeah. You know,

in oId fiIms...



whenever a girI

gets seriousIy kissed...



her foot wouId

just kind of...pop.



Ha ha ha! Pop!



Ha ha ha!



I'm gonna go change now.



I hope you get your first

reaI foot-poppin' kiss.



We are Mark and Brian...



and weIcome to

the Baker Beach Bash.



MARK/ Now, with one week

left of school...



you're gonna be

out for the summer...



and we know

what's on your mind.



How are you gonna

find that summer love?



And if you do,

how do you know if it's true?



Here to tell us all about it,

please welcome...



Lana and the Lanettes!




Lana, Anna, and Fontana!



Stupid cupid,

you're a real mean guy



l'd like to clip your wings

so you can't fly



l'm in love

and it's a crying shame



And l know that

you're the one to blame




Stupid cupid



Hey, hey, set me free



Stupid cupid,

stop picking on me



You mix ed me up but good



Right from the very start



Hey, go play Robin Hood



With somebody else's heart



You got me jumping

like a crazy clown...



JOSH: Uhh!



MIA: That was so--



-Awesome, huh?




Ha ha!

I'm gIad you had fun.



I thought you'd get scared,




'cause most of the girIs

I take on the boat...



they freak out.



Oh, no. I wasn't scared.



Stupid cupid,

stop picking on me



Stupid cupid



And now it's time for

your favorite taIk show host...



direct from

Grove High SchooI...



the IoveIy LiIIy.






LlLL Y/ lt's Saturday night...



and welcome to my cable show,

''Shut Up and Listen. ''



Later on in my show...



I wiII be joined by

our very own Princess Mia...



to discuss

her positive opinion...



of the ''Save the Sea Otter''




UntiI she arrives...



I've asked

Grove's magic master...



Jeremiah Hart...



to entertain us

with some sIeight of hand.



HeIIo, foIks.



Hold me, baby,

'cause you love me



With every single touch



lt's more than just a crush



Baby, you know



Reach me



Only you can see me



And what l crave so much



lt's more than just a crush



lt's more than just a crush



Every time we touch



GlRL/ Awesome!



Hey, Princess!

Give us a smiIe!



How did they find me here?






How did they find me here?!




Hey, wave, everybody!



You're on TV!



Wait, Princess, don't be shy!



Come back!



BRlAN/ Hey, chopper boy,

look over here!



Royal deejays!






Oh, no!

I am so sorry about aII this.



No, it's fine.



They can't get us in here.



We were having

such a good time...



and then

they came and ruined it.



I know, I know.

Look, they can't see us...



we can't see them.



We're aII aIone

in this IittIe shack.



ActuaIIy, you know what?



It's kind of cozy in here...



and there's no one I'd rather

be here with than you.













This isn't romantic.





No. It's my foot.



It's caught

in a voIIeybaII net.



Yeah. Here.






GlRL/ Hey! My dad

thinks l'm a princess!




l'm a friend of Mia's!



I teII you what.

WhiIe we're waiting...



how about a foot massage?



That wouId be so wonderfuI.

Thank you.



No. ActuaIIy,

I mean you give me one.



Oh, yeah.



And indeed,

it is the queen of hearts!



LlLL Y/ Thank you, Jeremiah...



for your potpourri

of prestidigitations...



for the past hour.



ObviousIy, Princess Mia

has a probIem...



appearing here tonight...



and I'm sure

she has a good excuse.



l'm Lilly Moscovitz

for ''Shut Up and Listen. ''



Thank you and good night.






the coast is cIear.






They're gone. Yeah.



Oh, good.



So, what do you say

we go find...



a more romantic spot?






PHO TOGRAPHER/ Quiet! Quiet!



[Cameras cIicking]






JOSH: No! Stay!



[OverIapping questions]



Give her a smooch!



REPORTER/ Come on!

Give her a big, sloppy wet one!









Hit him again!



MlA/ Go away! No, no, no!

Go away, all of you!



The princess

has Ieft the buiIding.



REPORTER/ Who have we got?



What's your name?




Where do you go to school?



Josh Bryant.



I go to Grove High SchooI.



What are we,

friends with Mia now?



Yes. We hate Josh.



Sorry. It's hard to keep up

with who we're not taIking to.



Here she comes!



ALL: Mia!



I'm reaIIy sorry.

I can't taIk.



I have to go

get my cIothes.



WeII, here.

We've got your cIothes.



You'II be a Iot warmer.



You guys want to heIp me?



Yeah. Josh is such an idiot.



We'II make sure

no one bothers you.



Thank you. Um...



That's reaIIy nice of you.



This is so great of you.



Thank you so much.



Everything's fine.



MlA/ ls anybody coming?







MlA/ Guys,

l really appreciate this.



Thank you.



She's got her bathing suit off.



OK, now!



Princess, hi!






REPORTER/ That was

the scream of Princess Mia.



Go away, aII of you, pIease!




OK. Come here, Mia.



Piranhas, aII of you!

Back off!



HELEN/ My mom always told me

l couldn't cry...



and toId me to be a big girI...



but you've been hurt,

so you just cry.






It was reaIIy bad.



My foot didn't even pop.




lt was just last night...



that San Francisco's

own IittIe princess...



partied at the beach...



but what started out

as innocent fun...



soon turned into

allegedly too much fun.



This is Suki Sanchez

for KPFW.



PIease say something.




Well, there's not much to say.



A picture's

worth a thousand words...



and you have two pictures.



I embarrassed the famiIy,

didn't I?



Not to put too fine

a point on it, yes, you did.



I think you're making

a wise decision...



to abstain from the job.



I suppose

I won't come to the baII.




Of course you should come.



You're stiII famiIy.



Just because you don't

want to be our princess...



doesn't mean

we're sending you into exile.



Your mother's planning to come.



All your guests are invited.



Ex cept for your beach friends.



Now, if you'll ex cuse me...



I'm meeting with the press

to do some damage controI.



You can come in now.



If I may say so...



that did not go very weII.



Is this the way

a princess shouId act?



My information teIIs me

that boy was using her.



The kiss

was mereIy a device...



so that he couId get

his    minutes of fame.



And her friends

didn't heIp, either.



Anna, FaIana, Banana,

Bandana, Montana...



I have no idea

what you're taIking about.



Why didn't she have

enough common sense...



to deaI with this?



She's onIy   ...



but today,

she acted beyond her years.



She showed great respect...



and gracefuIIy accepted

your criticism.



You're saying that as a queen,

I was too harsh on her.



I was criticaI of the person...



who couId become

the next ruIer of my country.



No. I'm saying,

as a grandmother...



you might have been too harsh

on your granddaughter.






Do you think she can do it?



Oh, I have no doubts, ma'am.



I thought so, too.



What makes you different



Makes you beautiful



What's there inside you



Shines through to me



ln your eyes l see



All the love l'll ever need




Hey, it's Mia ThermopoIips.



Can you autograph your picture?

Josh did.



Hey, there's Princess Pucker-up.



[BeII rings]



What makes you different

makes you beautiful



What's there inside you



Shines through to me



ln your eyes l see



All the love l'll ever need






Hey, can I taIk to you

for a minute, pIease?



LiIIy, can I just

taIk to you for a minute?



-Is that cooI?

-Sure. Let's taIk.



But about what, hmm?



How you broke

my brother's heart...



or how you stuck me

with Jeremiah...



during my cabIe show doing...



''Pick a card, pick a card.''

Mwah mwah mwah!



I'm sorry, OK?



I forgot to caII you

and teII you...



that I couIdn't make it.



So I was stuck with

the Happy Houdini...



whiIe you make out

with the Yachting Yahoo.



Those are reaIIy

good aIIiterations.



No! I don't want to taIk

about aIIiterations!



LiIIy, I came up here

to teII you that I'm sorry!



I'm sorry I missed

your cabIe show...



and I'm just reaIIy sorry.



LILL Y: I can't beIieve

that you hung me up...



after aII I did for you.



I kept your royaI secret.



And do you know

how hard it is...



to have a cabIe show

and keep a secret?



You didn't keep it

a secret from me...



how jerky you thought

my being a princess was.



WeII, congratuIations.

You got your wish.



I'm not gonna be a princess.



You're not?






But I want you to be.









I didn't mean it.



The green monster

of jeaIousy came out...



because you were Miss PopuIar...



and l thought l was

losing my best friend...



so I got angry and upset

and hurt and...



I toId you!



I need an attitude adjustment.



But the truth is...



you being a princess

is kind of a miracIe.



Whoa! No!



What miracIe?



It's a nightmare!



No! Think about it!



I just found out

that my cabIe show...



onIy reaches    peopIe.



Wanting to rock the world,

but having zip power like me--



now, that's a nightmare.



But you--Wow!



I mean...



MIA: What is so ''Wow''?



Wow is having the power

to affect change...



make peopIe Iisten.



How many teenagers

have that power?



What more of a miracIe

do you want?






we'II just have to find

a different miracIe.



Not more, just different.






tomorrow night...



is the Genovian

Independence Day baII...



and to make up for

my missing your cabIe show...



I'm inviting you.



I hope you'II forgive me...



and I hope you come.



LILL Y: But what wiII I wear?



MIA: [SqueaIs]

Mmm! Yay!



I don't know, but it

doesn't reaIIy matter.



I'm just happy

that you're gonna come!



LILL Y: Thanks.

And you can be a princess.



-No, I can't.

-Yes, you can.



-Yes, you can.

-No, l can't.



Let's move it in.

Move in! Let's go!



HARBULA/ Bobby Bad,

hang up the phone!



Yes, Mom. I'II go to

the dentist after schooI.



I hate it when

they move in Iike that.



Mia, it's not

a championship game.



It's not even a big game.

It's just gym cIass.



Just hit the baII.



I don't want to fIunk you

in gym cIass.



Come on. You can do it.



Keep your eye on the ball.




That's all right! That's OK!



You're gonna hit it anyway!



Go, Lions!



[CheerIeaders shrieking]



Come on, girIs.

It's a baII, not a snake.



Back in formation!



I'm sorry.



FouI baII.

It's aII right.



You got a piece of it.

It's OK.



Just focus.



Ha ha ha!









That's aII right! That's OK!



Come on, Mia.

Remember, it's onIy a game!




Keep your eye on the ball.



Go, Lions!






Let's go! Let's go!



BOBBY BAD/ Would you

rather hit a beach ball?



Order me a pizza, huh?







Oh! Oh!

[GirIs screaming]



-Run, Mia!

-AII right! Go! Go!



I gotta go. Get up!



What are you doing?

Get up!



HARBULA/ All the way, Mia!



Hi, Josh.



Come on, girI!




All the way, Mia! Come on!



Safe! And you passed.



Whoo! Mia!



HARBULA/ Nice job, Mia.

Way to go!



[BeII rings]



Oh!'s open.



Come on in.



MichaeI! Hi.



How are you?




-LittIe guy on your--



Oh! Um...



Did LiIIy teII you

that I caIIed...



because I...caIIed.



I brought your car.



Oh, thank you.



Seven times I caIIed.



Doc said that he fixed

what he couId...



and if you had any probIems,

give him a caII.



Oh, OK.



Do you want the check now?



I have the Iast payment.



Yeah. Thank you.




Are you hungry or thirsty?






Oh! Here it is.






Thank you so much

for doing this for me.



It's reaIIy, reaIIy great

of you.



I didn't do it for you.

Doc Iets the band practice.



Right. Of course.



I heIp with the cars.



Oh, here.



Oh, thanks.



I know you're stiII mad at me

for bIowing you off...



and I'm reaIIy sorry I did.



But I am going to try

to make it up to you.







WeII, I'm stiII going...



to the Genovian

Independence Day baII...



and I'm inviting you.



lt could be fun, you know.



I'm wearing this great dress

that I can't breathe in...



and LiIIy's got a date.



Josh Iooks better in a tux.



Oh. Um...



But, see, it's...



I reaIIy want you to be

the one I share it with.



You don't have to wear a tux.



You can wear sweatpants

for aII I care.



Don't worry about me.



I just consider myseIf

royaIIy fIushed.







Stop the bovine massacre!



Sign up now and save a cow!



Vegetarians have right

to eat special.



Make Grove School

more tofu-friendly.






LILL Y: Hi. Go sit by Jeremiah.

Be there in a minute.



LANA/ She's wearing

that dorky hat again.



Hey, you want

to see a trick?



No. Not right now.



What are you doing?

Writing a story?



Oh, weII...

my portfoIio's increased...



by   %since the Iast quarter.



Look what we have.



The perfect nerd coupIe.



Jeremiah and Mia.



Oh! Miah and Mia!



Listen, Jere.

My friends and I were wondering.



The sweater you're wearing--

was it designed for you...



or did the knitting machine

just bIow up?



Sunglasses, girls.



It's Jeremiah hair gIare.



ls one of your magic tricks

your hair?



Ha ha!



-Hey, Lana?




That is such

a cute cheerIeading outfit.



lt's so clean-cut.



I bet it goes with anything.



Of course it does!



Aah! Aah!



[Gasps] Aah!






Mia, you're such a freak!




Yeah, l am, but you know what?




I might grow out of that...



but you wiII never

stop being a jerk.




Lana got coned!



Lana got coned!







Lana got coned!



Mrs. Gupta,

did you see what she did to me?



Oh, no, honey, I'm sorry.



I was in

a very important meeting.



Send it out for dry cIeaning.



KlDS/ Lana got coned!



CLARlSSE/ lt's a present

for your sixteenth birthday...



from your father.



It was found

among his possessions.



My birthday's not for two weeks.



CLARlSSE/ l know...



but I wanted you to have it

before we Ieave.



I return to Genovia

the day after tomorrow.



Thank you.



It's Iocked.



If you open the Iocket

I gave you...



it becomes the key.



Thank you

for bringing it down here.



CLARlSSE/ l also

came to apologize...



for the way l spoke to you

about the beach incident.



It was judgementaI of me.



I didn't pause

to verify the facts.



That's aII right, Grandma.



I've been thinking about it

a great deaI...



and the truth is...



I think you'd make

a very fine princess.



You know, people think...



princesses are supposed

to wear tiaras...



marry the prince,

always look pretty...



and live happily ever after...



but it's so much more

than that.



It's a reaI job.



You are an extraordinary person,




but I don't think

I'm meant to do this.



I wouId be so afraid...



that I wouId disappoint

the peopIe of Genovia...



and I couIdn't bear...



to disappoint you again.



WeII, as I said...



I have faith in you.



-I'm a writer.




I write soaps--

soap opera.






Did you ever see

''MiddIe House Road''?



No. No, no.



It's a big hit.



I wrote a character

just Iike you once.



He was a spy.



I'm not a spy.



That's what

the character said.




l'll see you tonight, then.



CLARlSSE/ Mm-hmm.







I do have one favor to ask.



I need you to formaIIy

renounce your titIe...



for the press

at the baII, you know?



-Make a speech?




Do you think that maybe...




my history with the press...



it wouId be better

if you did it?



AmeIia, you wouIdn't

stop driving your Mustang...



just because a coupIe of insects

hit the windshieId?




Iook how far you've come...



and l'll be

right there with you.



l'll have Joseph

pick you up at   /  .



No. Um...



I promised

I'd Iet my mom drive me.



She wants to drive me

to my first baII...



or something.



AII right.

I'II see you there, then.









[CIarisse sighs]



I am sorry.



Oh, my dear.



You are first and foremost

my granddaughter.







Please don't be late.



Hold on,

but don't hold too tight



Let go and soon

it'll be all right



Don't run away

from what your heart is sayin'






Be strong and face

what you're afraid of



Come on, show 'em

what you're made of



l know it's hard

when your hope is gone



But you gotta

keep holdin' on



Hold on



You're gonna make it



You gotta be strong now



Thank you, Dad,

but I can't be a princess.



I don't make speeches...



and I'm not

CIarisse RenaIdi and...



and l just...

l can't do it, OK?



l'm scared.






CharIotte, Miss Kawa.



Nice to meet you.



Pardon me.

I have to get the band ready.



Of course.



ShouId you be going

to get Princess Mia?



Mia toId CIarisse her mother

wouId be bringing her.



HeIen just arrived and said

Mia was waiting for you.



She's going to run.



MlA/ Come on, Fat Louie.

Time to pack.



Let's get your things.






Louie, what have you

got there?



Come on, Louie.



We're going on a trip.



We're going to CoIorado...



where we can cIimb

some reaI rocks.



We are so out of here, Louie.



''My dearest daughter...



''today is

your sixteenth birthday.






''l present you

with this diary...



''to fill the pages with

your special thoughts--



''special thoughts

of your wonderful life. ''




''lt is a custom in my family...



''to pass on a piece of wisdom

when one reaches this age.



''l pass it on to you as

my father passed it on to me.



''Amelia, courage is not

the absence of fear...



''but rather the judgement...



''that something else

is more important than fear.



''The brave

may not live forever...



''but the cautious

do not live at all.



''From now on,

you'll be traveling the road...




who you think you are...



''and who you can be.



''The key is to allow yourself

to make the journey.



''l also want you to know...



''l loved your mother

very much...



''and still think of her often.



''Happy birthday, my Mia.



''All my love, your father. ''



NELSON/ And there's

Countess Puck of Austria...



as the glamorous

continue to arrive...



at the Genovian

lndependence Ball.



Despite the threat of rain...



the big turnout includes

the mayor of San Francisco...



and a Genovian pear juggler.



The future of Genovia...



is in the hands of

young Mia Thermopolis.



Her decision tonight will

affect the queen, the court...



and all the people of

this small but proud country.






Do you think

it's gonna rain on us?



It never comes down

on WiIIie Brown.



Ha ha! Thank you.



UmbreIIas up!






CHARLO TTE/ And that's enough

pear juggling.



The trip is off, Louie.









Oh! Perfect.






Oh, come on.

Come on, baby.




Genovians, you know...



are famous for

their impeccable taste in art.



AIso for their cheese.



Maybe it's string cheese.



Don't do this, baby.






[Engine starts]









MlA/ Sorry, Mr. Robutusen!



Here you go.

It's aIready paid for.



I didn't order a pizza.

I'm sorry about that.



No, you must've.



UnIess there's another

MichaeI Moscovitz Iiving here.



We get a caII, we deIiver.



That's our motto.



You don't make the pizza?



No, no. I just deIiver 'em.






Press passes.

Thank you. Thank you.



Oh, hi.

Where are you from?



''Teen Scene'' magazine.



Oh, good, good.




The queen has entered.



[Repeating in

different Ianguages]



Do we have any news on

the Von Troken matter?



It'II be decided tonight, ma'am.



I'm afraid so.



Where is she?!



She went somewhere!

I know nothing!



Nothing? Come here.



Oh, what? What?



TaIk to me.



She went that way,

then that way.



Two minutes ago.



Thank you very much.



Do we have any probIems?



No. Everything's perfect.



Perfect. It's wonderfuI.



You're not very good

at Iying, CharIotte.



No, I'm not, Your Majesty.



But the garden Iooks beautifuI.



Thank you.



[Engine racing]



Come on, baby.

You can make it.



Yes, come on! Yes!



No. Come on, baby.



Baby, pIease, come on.



[Engine staIIs]



[Ignition sputtering]



CHARLO TTE/ There's no answer

at Princess Mia's house...



and I couIdn't get Joseph

on the ceII phone.



There's too much static

from the storm.



The press is starting

to compIain...



about making their deadIines.






If she's not here in    minutes,

I'II make the announcement.



CHARLO TTE/ Yes, ma'am.



It's OK. She'II be fine.



She's gonna get here.



Is this punishment

for driving without...



a Iicensed driver

in the front seat?!






I am invisibIe and I am wet.



The press was wondering

if it wouId be possibIe--



No. No interviews untiI

Iater in the evening.



Yes, ma'am.



SUKl/ And we're meeting

Baroness and Baron Von Troken.



Is it true if the teenager

refuses the princess-ship...



your famiIy wiII take over

the country of Genovia?



Yes. They must have

a Iegitimate...



RenaIdi bIood reIative

or we ruIe.



No, ma'am.



[Sighs] Then it's time.



[Mia crying]

Catch a falling star



And put it in your pocket



Never let it fade away






[''WiIIiam TeII Overture'' pIays]



[Honk honk]



You wouIdn't happen to be

running away, wouId you?



What? Dressed Iike this?



No. I'm going to a baII.



Good. Get in.




Her Majesty, the Queen.



CLARlSSE/ My fellow Genovians

and honored guests...



good evening.



l apologize for the delay

and--oh, hello--



And may l say...



welcome to our grand Genovian

lndependence Day ball.




There's no time to change.



You look fine.



JOE: Pretty and fine.

Just fine.




-No running.



-PIease, no running. Good.

-It's nice.



...a very special moment.



Thank you so much

for your patience.



I have an announcement

to make.



-My granddaughter--




-She's here!

-I see.



I wouId Iike to announce that

my granddaughter has arrived.



With a fascinating expIanation

as to her wardrobe, I'm sure.



She's styIing a wet,

sort of grunge-Iook hairdo...



and is wearing a sweatshirt,

jeans, and Docs.



Mia, wouId you care

to say a few words?



Um, yes.



Why didn't we dress Iike her?

We Iook Iike idiots.



Thank you, Your Majesty.



Do you think they're trying

to save money on the gown?



Hi--er, uh, heIIo.



I'm Mia. Um...

It stopped raining.



Get your tiara ready.




I'm reaIIy no good

at speechmaking.



NormaIIy I get so nervous

that I faint...



or run away or sometimes

I even get sick.






But you reaIIy

didn't need to know that.



But I'm not so afraid




My father heIped me.



EarIier this evening,

I had every intention...



of giving up my cIaim

to the throne...



and my mother heIped me

by teIIing me that it was OK...



and by supporting me Iike

she has for my entire Iife.






then I wondered how I'd feeI...



after abdicating my roIe

as Princess of Genovia.



WouId I feeI reIieved

or wouId I feeI sad?



And then I reaIized...



how many stupid times a day

I use the word ''I.''



ln fact,

probably all l ever do...



is think about myseIf.



And how Iame is that...



when there are   biIIion

other peopIe on the pIanet--






Ooh. Sorry.

I'm going too fast.



But then l thought...



if I cared about

the other   biIIion out there...



instead of just me...



that's probabIy

a much better use of my time.



See, if l were

Princess of Genovia...



then my thoughts...



and the thoughts of peopIe

smarter than me...



would be much better heard

and just maybe...



those thoughts couId be

turned into actions.



So this morning

when I woke up...



I was Mia ThermopoIis.



But now...



I choose to be forevermore...



AmeIia Mignonette

ThermopoIis RenaIdi...



Princess of Genovia.






I hope you didn't order

your stationery yet.



This was my very first tiara.



I was rather fond of it.



I'm hoping you wiII be, too.



Oh. Grandma,

but you had it aIready.



How did you know

I'd even be here?



Because I recognize

the same spirit in you...



as someone eIse I know.









Ah, you made it.



You bet your Iife,

you big, taII string bean.



Here. PaoIo here

to save the day.






The land l call my home



Genovia, Genovia



Forever will your banner wave



Her Majesty,

Queen Clarisse...



and Her RoyaI Highness,

AmeIia, Princess of Genovia.






I think perhaps we'd better

get you dried off now.



[GiggIes] Thank you.



No Ionger does Mia stand for

''Missing In Action.''



Genovia has a new princess.



[Orchestra pIays]



They had the same idea I had...



but now the garden

is ''occupado.''






Why me?



Because you saw me

when I was invisibIe.



And just because I'm royaI...



doesn't mean

I'm any different.



Come on,

I'm reaIIy the same person.



Yes, I wiII have

to Iive in Genovia...



but I'II stiII go

to schooI and...






You showed me faith

is not gone



l don't need wind

to help me fly



Miracles happen

once in a while



When you believe



You showed me dreams

come to life



That taking a chance

on us was right



All things will come

with a little time



When you believe



MlA/ Dear diary...



today is my first official day

as Princess of Genovia.



We'll land in a few hours...



and l'll meet the parliament

and the people...



before beginning

my royal duties.



Mom is, of course,

moving to Genovia with me...



and will continue painting--

without the balloons.



Lilly and Michael are spending

their summer vacation...



at our--

can you believe it--palace.



They're even having

my Mustang brought over...



which l can legally drive

in two weeks.



Grandma's so glad

to be going home.



And Joseph? Well,

he's watching nearby as usual.



Everybody's got

pre-coronation jitters...



including me.



Everybody, that is,

ex cept Fat Louie.



He's totally adapted

to being a royal.



l guess he was one all along.



JOSEPH/ Princess,

look out the window...



and welcome to Genovia.



Miracles happen

once in a while



When you believe



You showed me

dreams come to life



That taking a chance

on us was right



All things will come

with a little time



When you believe



[New song begins]



l know sometimes you feel



Like you don't fit in



And this world doesn't know



What you have within



When l look at you



l see something rare



A rose

that can go anywhere



And there's no one l know

that can compare



What makes you different



Makes you beautiful



What's there inside you



Shines through to me



ln your eyes l see



All the love l'll ever need



All l need of love



What makes you different



Makes you beautiful to me



So beautiful



What makes you



What makes you different



Makes you beautiful



To me



Everything you do

is beautiful



Love is shining

right through me



Everything in you

is beautiful






To me



To me












[New song begins]



l know that

you're searching for answers



Afraid that

you'll be left behind



But you can't rush time



You got to wait in line



ln time,

the answers you'll find



You'll get your wings

at the right time



Each of us

must learn how to fly



Gotta move on from

what's breaking your heart



Don't let your life

pass you by



[New music begins]

Special help by SergeiK