Quiz Show Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Quiz Show script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Robert Redford game show scandals movie starring Ralph Fiennes, John Turturro, Mira Sorvino, etc..  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Quiz Show. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Quiz Show Script



So this is the 300.



The forward look.

1958 is here today.



That's the ermine white.

Seventeen coats, hand-sanded.



- I'm sure it's the 17th coat

that does it.

- Power steering. Power windows.



Power brakes.

Power mirrors.



The new auto-pilot will make you

virtually superfluous.



I'm not sure I need a car

for that.



TorqueFlite transmission.

The standard that sets the standard.



And the top operates by

just the touch of a button.



I can feel the wind

in my hair already.



- Let me see. You just out of school?

- Harvard Law School.



That degree sells itself.

Do you live here in Washington?



- I've been working for the government.

- Oh.



- Not that it's permanent.

- Oh.



Care to get behind the wheel,

Mr Goodman?






Just be careful

with the cigar.



Used to be the man drove the car.

Now the car drives the man.



Go on. Turn it over.



- Here.

- Go on!



- Is it, uh--

- It's in neutral.



- Listen to that power.

- This is the town for it.



And with the new Bendix Electrojector,

we can rate this honey up to--



-     horsepower.

- Correct to the hoof.



If my wife knew I was here,

she'd kill me.



- What a way to go.

- Yeah.



I see you're admiring

the seats.



That's pigskin and calfskin.

Hand rubbed.



Nicest piece of furniture I own

would be in the garage.



Try the radio. The only thing

that sounds better than

the engine is the radio.



The Russians have beaten us

into outer space.



You are listening to

the sound of Sputnik...



a satellite launched

this morning via rocket...



in orbit right now,

directly over our heads.



A sound that says...



all is not well

with America.



America doesn't own

the    .



Oh, the shark, babe



Has such teeth, dear



And it shows them



Pearly white



Just a jackknife



Has old Macheath, babe



And he keeps it

out of sight



You know

when that shark bites



With his teeth, babe



Scarlet billows



Start to spread



Fancy gloves, oh



Wears old Macheath, babe



So there's never

Never a trace of red



Now on the sidewalk

uh-huh, uh-huh



Ooh, Sunday mornin'uh-huh



Lies a body



-Just oozin'life, eek

- About time. It's almost starting.



And someone's sneakin'



'Round the corner



Could that someone



Be Mack the Knife



Now did you hear

about Louie Miller



He disappeared, babe



After drawin'out



All his hard-earned cash



And now Macheath spends



Just like a sailor



Could it be our boy's

done somethin'rash



Ah, Jenny Diver



Hey, Suki Tawdry



Ooh, Miss Lotte Lenya



And old Lucy Brown



Oh, the line forms



On the right, babe



Now that Mackie's



Back in town



- How's this?

- Get this thing outta here.



- It's not my station.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Let's go.



- We're still hot on the right.

- Watch it! Watch it!



Oh, it's very exciting.

You know, my, my mother said--



Hey, hey, there they are.

Yeah, those are the questions.



Ah, he's got

the questions there.



Like walking on

the bottom of the sea...



as if I had drowned

long ago.



- As if--

- Five minutes, Mr Barry.



You ready, America?



- One minute.

- All right, move a little to your left.



- Hey, video...

- That's good.

- you done with the test patterns?



- Camera one.

- Okay, clear the floor, folks.



- Marty, you're still very hot.

- Light it up, lighting.

- Stand by.



- Pan to his opening shots, please.

-    seconds!



-    seconds to air.

- Bobby, I'm gettin' a flare

on camera one.



Do you think you can adjust the

barn door on Jack's backlight?



- Yeah, if you can.

-    seconds.



My light okay?

My nose doesn't look big?



- You look great,Jack.

- Last week I looked like a sundial.



-Jack, we're on countdown.

- Coming to air in ten...



- Stand by, timpani.

- nine, eight,

- Stand by, opening film.



- seven, six,

- Stand by, music.

Stand by, announcer.



five, four, three...



- two,

- Cue the timpani.

- one.



And fade up.





America's #  tonic.



Geritol, the fast-acting,

high-potency tonic...



that helps you

feel stronger fast...



presents the exciting

quiz programme, Twenty-One.



Brought to you by NBC, the

National Broadcasting Company...



broadcasting nationally

coast to coast...



from New York

to Los Angeles...



from Seattle

to St Petersburg...



via a vast network of affiliates

crisscrossing the country.



Coming up next,




starring master of ceremonies

Jack Barry!



Two players racing to score

twenty-one points...



each in a soundproof television studio,

not knowing the other one's score...



- with $   ...

- Damn it!

- riding on each point...



as they both play




And here's your host,

Jack Barry!



Good evening.

I'm Jack Barry.



Due to a series of ties,

Herbert Stempel, our   -year-old

ex-G.I. college student...



must play at

$     a point...



which means that in a few brief

minutes, he can either win...



as much as $         the most

money won on television to date...



or lose everything he's won

in the last eight weeks.



- You nervous?

- As our regular viewers already

know, our rules are similar...



- to the card game, Twenty-one.

- It's only money.



Isolated in their

soundproof studios...



neither player is aware

of the other's score.



I've been assured by our friends

at the Encyclopedia...



that they've concocted some real

brain-breakers this week...



so we'll find out in the next

   minutes if the unstumpable...



Herbert Stempel

can be stumped.



Could I have

the questions, please?



Thank you, gentlemen. Remember, the

questions on Twenty-One are secured...



each week in a Manhattan bank vault

till just before show time.



So right now, let's meet Herbert

Stempel and his challenger...



as Geritol, America's #  tonic,

presents Twenty-One.



Welcome back to the show,




Mr Peloubet, a very cordial

welcome to you, sir.



How are you, Herb?

How's everything in Queens?



- Fine, Mr Barry.

- It's a nervous strain

on the family, I bet.



- How's your wife holding out?

- She's fine, thank you.

Thank you, Mr Barry, for asking.



As you know, Herb, the questions

are graded for difficulty by

the Encyclopedia Britannica.



I might add that my wife no

longer suffers from tired blood...



now that I've got her

on Geritol.



That's fine.

Graded on a scale from one--



I personally vouch that

it's a fine product.



I'm sure our sponsor will be

pleased to know that, Herb.

Now, to get on with the show--



I'd like to take this

opportunity to thank Geritol...



for giving a poor ex-G.I.

this amazing opportunity...



to realize his dream

of a college education.



Now there's a face

for radio.



Dick Peloubet back again from sunny

Miami, Florida, and Herb Stempel.



- Yeah.

- This Stempel is giving me a headache.



- Well, he sells Geritol.

- Have you seen the ratings?



- Well, they've evened out.

- I don't think he works any more.



Stempel is an underdog. You know, people

root for that. It's a New York thing.



Queens is not New York.



Let's play Twenty-One.



Mr kintner's office,




Office of the president. Could you

hold, please? Mr kintner's office.



Once inside the isolation booth,

neither player can see the other,



nor can they hear anything

until I turn their studios on,

which I'm gonna do right now.



- All right, gentlemen.

- He's not hurting sales, is he?



- He just doesn't think he works.

- Why?



Look, I don't know. I guess

the sponsor wants a guy on Twenty-One...



who looks like he could get

a table at Twenty One.



You just tell him I said

Stempel has an everyman quality.



You know that whole American dream

thing? You, too, can be rich?



- If the ratings stay high.

- Very funny.



I'm just passing it along,




Every schoolboy knows about the

midnight ride of Paul Revere.



For eleven points, how many lanterns

were hung in the Old North Church?



Who rode with Paul Revere? Who lent him

his horse? Was it a mare or a stallion?



And what was

the horse's name?



- Stand by,Joe, on Herbie.

- kill the air.



Tommy, air off.






A little tighter.

Tell him to put the sign up.



Control booth.



Uh, yeah. Hold on, sir.

Dan, it's for you.



It's kintner.



Would you mind, Mr Barry? Could

I take the third part last?



That's fine.



The code was, uh,

''One if by land, two if by sea. ''



Therefore, it would have to be

two lanterns in the Old North Church.



That's right. And, the

second part. Who rode with him?



- Dawes and Prescott.

- Dawes and Prescott.



What these books have

conclusively proven...



is that the difference between

men and women is exactly    pages.



- Can I quote you, Mark?

- Not before I quote me.



His own quotes

are his greatest pleasure.



Did you hear the market

dropped    points today?



- There's a rumour Eisenhower died.

- How would they tell?



Oh, please, don't get Dorothy started

on politics. There'll be a raid.



- Good night.

- Good night, Dorothy. Sorry I'm late.



It's impossible out there.

You can't get a cab without a dragnet.



- Eisenhower died.

- What?



Professor Van Doren,

I took your course at Columbia.



''Hawthorne, Original Sin

and the American Experience.''



- Nixon is President?

- Well, as silly as it sounds,

it changed my life.



Was it the Hawthorne

or the sin?



Perhaps you'd like to meet

my son, the unmarried Van Doren.



- Oh, where is Charlie?

- You're right again, Herb.



You've got the first two parts correct.

Just three more for     points.



Excuse me.

Are you the son?



- I'm Charlie. Pleasure.

- Elizabeth. The pleasure's all mine.



It was a mare,

Mr Barry.



- How did he know that?

- That's correct.



Oh, there you are!



We're making our getaway,

Charlie, if you want a ride.



Have you ever watched one of

these, uh, quiz shows, Dad?



The $      Question

or, or Twenty-One?



For $      I hope they ask you

the meaning of life.



Okay, Herb. Finally...



name the man who loaned

Paul Revere his horse...



for that fateful

midnight ride.



- Who loaned him the horse?

- Okay, Herb...



- I'm afraid I'm going to have

to ask for your answer.

- Yes, Mr Barry.



Look, just give him what he wants. I

don't want to talk to these agency guys.



So, what do you want

me to do, Mr kintner?



You're a producer, Dan.




-Would you like more time, Herb?




If I may, Mr Barry,

thank you.



Herbie's dead.




Deacon John Larkin?



That's correct

for     points!



All right, Herb, take a deep

breath and relax, will ya?



And we'll get back to the game

after this word from our sponsor.



Now, friends, I was just wondering.

What kind of a day did you have today?



Did you greet the sunrise with plenty

of vim, vigour and vitality...



only to feel the wind go out

of your sails just after lunchtime?



Do you find you're not having

as much fun as you used to?



This beats the subway,

huh, Mr Stempel?



You said it!



- Hey, Dave!

- What do you say, Herbie?



What do you say, Herbie?



You were the greatest

tonight, Herbie!



- All right, Herbie!

- Yea, Herbie!



- Great, Einstein!

- Hey, the audience really loves you!



Herbie, you remember me when!

Herbie, I remember you when.



- Hi, Ellen.

- Hey, Herbie, what colour was she?



Ah, but you looked so good

on TV tonight, Herbie!



You should've gone for    

on the movies, Herbie.



- You should win $        .

- Hey, you were really cookin'

tonight, Stempel.



- Of course I watched it.

- Didn't go to the show?



The genius is home.

The rich genius is home!



I watched it on television

like everybody else.



- Would you tell him that...

- You were great tonight, Herb.



- ev-everybody is watchin'that show?

- Come on. I wanna dance.



Dance with me.

Looking for the light



- Would you ask him for me,

please, right now?

- Of a new love



My mother wants to know why

you only went for eight on the movies.



Because my real expertise

is pain-in-the-ass in-laws, all right?



- Now, would you get off the phone?

- No, I'm not gonna start with it.



- Tell him that ev-everybody...

- No, it was nothin'.

- is watchin'that show.



Steve Allen is gettin' a busy signal

because my mother-in-law won't shut up.



- Look, Ma, I got--

- You're upset, and I don't

wanna have to deal with it.



- I gotta go. I gotta go.

- Would you call--

- All right, goodbye.



Call me before you go to bed,

that's all I'm saying.



What are you doin'?



My father paid good money

for this suit.



- He wore it to his own funeral.

- You make it sound like it was

the suit that killed him.



You wanna know why Enright

makes me wear that suit? Because

it makes me look like a schmuck.



- Yeah, well stop actin'

like a schmuck then.

- You don't get it, do you?



- Look at this face.

- I go out on the street,

and everybody knows me.



Me, Herb Stempel.



And they love me for the same

reason they used to hate me.



Because I'm the guy

who knows everything.



You should worship the ground I walk on,

what my family's done for you.



You wanna be worshipped?

Go to India and moo.



Without my family, you'd be

on that show in your underwear.



Things are gonna change

around here, boy.



What does that mean,

everything's gonna change?



You think I should get

my teeth capped?



- What's gonna change, Herbert?

- Everything's gonna change.



For us.



Hey, what the hell

were you thinkin'?



Toby, that box

is the biggest thing...



since Gutenberg

invented the printing press.



And I'm

the biggest thing on it.



We don't need your mother

and her money any more.



Don't you wanna tell her

where to get off after     years?



Now would you please

dance with me?



Dancing in the dark



Until the tune ends



We're dancing

in the dark



And it soon ends



We're waltzing

in a wonder



Of why we're here



Because of a disagreement

with his commanding general...



Ulysses S. Grant was virtually

placed under arrest for

a brief time early in      .



Who was the commanding general

of the Union Army at that time?



Oh, I know that. Uh, Halleck.

General H.W. Halleck.



That's correct.

Who was Sebastian Cabot...



- Hey, Terry.

- and what country

was he in the service of?



Uh, he was, uh,

an explorer from Spain.



That's correct.

Who founded the former hub...



- Terry, who's that guy in the corner?

- of the Byzantine Empire...



- of Constantinople?

- Constantine the First.



Charles Van Doren.



Charles Van Doren,

like Van Doren Van Doren?



- He wants to be on Tic-Tac-Dough?

- I guess so.



- Meriwether Lewis.

- That's it.



Who was the editor of

the socialist paper Avanti--



Oh, this is the guy.

This is the guy



I got the guy

I got the guy



I got the guy!



I got the guy.



So I turned

to astrophysics.



But of course, as you know,

all the great physicists

were great before the age of   .



It just wasn't

in the cards.



So, I went to Paris and wrote

my novel about a patricide.



- What?

- A boy who kills his father.



M-My dad liked it

quite a lot, actually...



although you could fill Yankee Stadium

with the world's mediocre novelists.



And your father

is Carl Van Doren.



My uncle. My father

is Mark Van Doren, the poet.



He also teach-- I-I mean, I also teach,

uh, at Columbia. Literature.



- Same as, uh, same as Dad.

- Oh, same as Dad, huh? That's nice.



Could I ask you

a personal question, Professor?



Actually, I'm not a professor yet.

I'm just an instructor.



- How much do they pay

instructors up at Columbia?

- Eighty-six dollars a week.



Do you have any idea

how much Bozo the Clown makes?



Well, w-we, we can't all be

Bozo the Clown.



No, no. Not to question

your choice of profession, not at all.



I'm questioning the values

of a society that pays somebody

like you-- What was it?



- Eighty-six dollars a week.

- Eighty-six dollars a week.



You plan on raising a family,

right, Professor?



- Yes, I hope to. Very much.

- Can you imagine raising

a family on $   a week?



Eighty-six dollars a week. And

meanwhile, look at the crisis

of education in this country.



Well, well, yes. I, I agree.

It's, it's a national problem.



So I understand you came down

to try out for Tic-Tac-Dough.



Well, my friends tell me I have

a good mind for this sort

of thing. They, they coaxed me.



How'd you like to be

on Twenty-One?



- Twenty-One?

- Dan produces both shows.



You're young, you're clean-cut,

you're from a prominent family.



kids would run to do their homework

to be like Charles Van Doren.



- What about, uh, Herbert Stempel?

- What about him?



- Herb? Oh, I lov-- I love him.

- We love Herb.



- But people don't like him.

kids don't look up to him.

- Yeah.



Well, if you were a kid, would

you wanna be an annoying Jewish

guy with a sidewall haircut?



Well, I wanted to be

Joe DiMaggio.



Oh, yeah? Me, too. Especially

after he signed for the hundred grand.



Yeah, but Al-- But you see,

that's what this country needs,

is an intellectual Joe DiMaggio...



- with the women and the money

and all of it, but...

- Whoa!



but from his brain, instead

of a bat and a ball. Well--



- Dan.

- No, I know. You're probably right. I--



Yeah, boy.

What are we gonna do here?



Well, I could take

a whack at it.



Uh, see the problem, Professor, is

the old college try ain't gonna do it.



And you've seen Stempel.

The guy's unbeatable.



Oh, I have to admit,

uh, Tic-Tac-Dough seemed more feasible.



What if we were to put you

on the show?



Put you on Twenty-One, and

ask you questions that you know.



Say the questions that he answered

correctly on the test this morning.



- I, I, I don't follow you.

-Just thinkin' out loud.



I, I thought the questions

were in a bank vault.



- In a way, they are.

- You wanna win, don't ya?



W-Well, I think I'd really

rather try to beat him honestly.



- What's dishonest?

- When Gregory Peck parachutes

behind enemy lines...



do you think

that's really Gregory Peck?



That book that Eisenhower wrote,

a ghost writer wrote it.



- Nobody cares.

- It's not like we'd be

giving you the answers.



Just 'cause we know you know,

you still know.



Right. It's not like you're

putting me on the show, or Al...



and pretending to be

some sort of intellectual.



I mean, you have put in

years of study and erudition.



I mean, I-- I-I'm just trying to imagine

what, uh, kant would make of this.



I don't think

he'd have a problem with it.



Think what this could mean

for the cause of education.



Forty million people

will watch you on Twenty-One.



It's not like anybody

has to know.Just us three.



It just doesn't seem right.




I'd, I'd have to say no.



Just an idea.



Was that

part of the test?



- So, we're okay.

- You're gonna give it a try.



Well, I-- I just want

to make sure it'll be...



you know, not the way

we discussed before.



- No, not at all.

- No, no.

- So pure, it floats.



Okay? So we'll see you

Monday night, then.



- You'll come by and see

how the show works.

- Great.



- All right.

- Monday night.

- And we'll look forward to that.



- Okay.

- Nice meeting you.

- Goodbye.



- Take care.

- Bye, bye.



- Uh, reservations are for  :  .

Is that right?

- Thanks. All right.



- Boys.

- Hi,Jack.

- Hi,Jack.



- Who's that?

- That's Charles Van Doren.



- As in Van Doren Van Doren?

- Van Doren. Yes.

- Hmm.



He wants to be on




Uh, why would a guy like that

wanna be on a quiz show?



Uh, Richard Goodwin.

I'm an investigator.



An investigator! Richard Goodwin

with the Subcommittee

on Legislative Oversight.



I'm calling because the rate schedules

for the Baltimore and Ohio...



for the first four months

of       seem to be missing from

the documents you just sent me.



Oh, go get 'em, Dickie.

They're sweatin' now.



Do they know you were first

in your class at Harvard Law School?



Hey, don't talk to me like

I'm an idiot. I was first in

my class at Harvard Law School.



Here we go.

What've you got?



- Forty-three seconds

- Not bad.

- Railroad regulation.



- Right.

- Now, that's, that's political

dynamite he's playin' with.



- So it's just an oversight.

- We're an oversight committee.

- We're an oversight committee.



Right. The end of next week.

That'll be just fine.



And I'll, I'll send you a little

helpful reminder, okay?



- You'll notice it 'cause it'll

look very much like a subpoena.

- Ooh!



- Thank you.

- You know, Dick...



you stick with this, I don't

know, ten, fifteen years...



you could bring the Interstate

Commerce Commission to its knees.



'Course by then,

there may not be railroads.



- You'll still be sittin'

right there, too, Alex.

- He's so sensitive.



- Truce.

- Ooh!



Herb, you've got ten points.

The category is explorers.



How many do you want

to try for?



- I'll try for     points, Mr Barry.

- Hello!



- Gonna go all the way, huh?

- Mm-hmm.

- All right.



I'm gonna name four spots

on the globe. You name the

explorer who discovered them.



First, Newfoundland.



-John Cabot.

- Let's see, I--



Hi. I see you're really

churnin' out the chapters today.



- Go away. No cigar in the bedroom.

- Uh, was it John Cabot?



- That's correct.

- Out.

- The Cape of Good Hope.



No cigar in the bedroom.

We allow a television in the bedroom...



but no cigar

in the bedroom.



Bartolomeu Dias.

He originally called it--



- You're right, Herb.

- So today, chairman calls me aside.



My big break, right?



He asked me to write him a speech

to deliver to the kiwanis Club...



of Arkadelphia,




You're good at that.

Gee, do we get to go there?



Yeah. I'd just like to know

where the challenge is.



You know, I feel like a

racehorse whose gate won't open.



You didn't want

the Wall Street job.



Yeah, I know.

Well, money isn't everything.



- Correct.

- I'm not the one who came home

with the Chrysler catalogue.



Give me the name of the explorer

who discovered Mozambique.



- Vasco da Gama.

- Vasco da Gama.



- Well--

- Maybe I should get on a quiz show.



I, I think it was a group

of explorers.



At least I could get

my own bedroom.



It's just a job, Dick.

It's not sex.



Vasco da Gama?



-Jack, wasn't Herb terrific today?

Wasn't he great?

- Can't you see I'm busy, Dan?



- Uh, oh, Herb...

- Okay.



I'd like you to meet next week's

challenger, Charles Van Doren.






I'm scared of you.

Boy, oh, boy, let me tell you.



Scared of me?



- More wine, Herb?

- Thank you, Dan. Why not?



You've earned it.

How's that steak?



Nothing like

a fine piece of meat.



You know, Herb, it's a hell of a thing.

I'm lookin' at the thing today.



- You know, the Trendex rating?

- Yeah?



Well, it's the damndest thing,

but you've plateaued.



Plateaued? What--

Wh-What kind of word is that?



- What, plateaued?

- Plateaued.



Plateaued? Uh, it's well--

It's like, uh, you--



- Like you--

- You mean, people

don't like me any more?



No, no, no. It's not you

per se. It's just--



- Maybe I should get my teeth capped.

- No, it's the nature of the show.



They've already seen you win,

and they want something new.



So, what are you saying? Th--

You think they want me to lose?



Well, don't you think

that's natural?



Joe Louis was the champ for     years.

Nobody ever wanted Joe Louis to lose.



- Think about the cause of education.

- The cause of education?



I waited    years for this.

Now I'm supposed to take a dive

for the cause of education?



I didn't say ''take a dive.''

Now, I'm askin' you for your help.



Fine.Just let me

play it honestly.



- And will you please

keep your voice down?

- Give me a number.



Go, ahead, give me a number.

Give me a number.



- Excuse me, sir. Give me

a number, a, a random number.

- I don't know. Twenty-three?



Beethoven was    when he

composed his first piano sonata.



In      Jack Bentley set the record

for average by a pitcher, batting .    .



- There are    chromosomes

in the human egg.

- Herb, I want--



Also the human sperm. Twenty-third

President: Benjamin Harrison.



- Asian countries along

the   rd parallel--

- Look, don't start believing

your own bullshit, all right?



You wouldn't know the name

of Paul Revere's horse

if he took a crap on your lawn.



- She.

- What?



-It was a mare, remember?

-Look, you lose when I tell you to lose.



- But why now?

- It's an arrangement.

It's always been an arrangement.



If you told me to lose before,

if you told me to lose

right from the beginning...



that I'd understand, then

that'd be the story of my life.



- But why now? What did I do?

- Look at the big picture.



It's not like television

is gonna go away, you know?

I mean, think about the future.



You mean,

like a panel show?



Yeah. Check. Look,

I'm gonna do what I can do, Herb.



But meanwhile, maybe you

could use somebody to talk to.



I'm gonna give you the name

of my analyst.Just send me the bills.



You know, I could be terrific

on one of those panel shows.



Witty, off-the-cuff.

A Bill Cullen sort of thing, you know.



Now the last category is movies.

We're gonna ask you...



what won the Academy Award

for Best Picture in      .



You don't know it.

You answer On the Waterfront.



Oh, no. Oh, no.

Don't, don't do that.



Not Marty.

I saw Marty three times.



The Best Picture from two years

ago, and I don't know it?



Someone of your intellect,

and it's such a simple question.



- Don't you see the drama of that?

- Drama?



Herb, don't do this

to yourself.



Please, let me lose on a physics

question, not Marty, Dan.



Don't do this to me.

It's too humiliating.



For    grand, Herb,

you can afford to be humiliated.



- Who was the captain of the Mayflower?

- Christopher Jones.



- What year?

-      .



...the champ,

Mr Moto!



And we'll return to Mr Moto

after this.



Will Herbert Stempel become the first

man to win over $         on television?



No, Herbert Stempel is not

going to win over $        .



Herbert Stempel

is going to take a dive.



Dad, the quiz is tomorrow.

If you're gonna talk to the TV--



All right, big shot. So who bought

Manhattan Island from the Indians?



- Peter Minuit.

- What year?

-      .



- How much?

- Twenty-four dollars.



This week on Twenty-One!

Now, back to our programme.



This week on Twenty-One, watch Herb

Stempel be fed to the Columbia lions.



Watch Charles Van Doren eat

his first kosher meal on Twenty-One!



What are you doing?

Why aren't you dressed?



The child has to learn. The

child has to learn the depths

that humanity can sink to.



Tribes of the Iroquois League:




- Twenty-four bucks for Manhattan.

- Cayugas, Oneidas...



- First the Indians, then us.

- What's eatin' you?



- Senecas...

- You know why they call them Indians?



- Mohawks...

- Because Columbus thought

he was in India.




-They're Indians because some

white guy got lost, that's why.



You're gonna give him your ulcer.

Let him grow up with his own ulcer.



He wouldn't let me practise

my drums.



What won the Best Picture

for      ?



- Marty.

- Marty.

- Thank you.



- Well, what's the problem?

- Lester, do me a favour.



Go in your own bedroom

and do your homework, all right?



Hey, hey!

With your books.




with your books.



They want me

to take a dive.






They're going to ask me what won

the Best Picture for      ...



and I have to answer

On the Waterfront.



They have to utz me with

a question any child knows.



How, how can they do that? I thought

the questions were in a bank vault.



They just put me in an isolation

booth and pump cyanide into it.



Herbie, they can't do that.

How can they do that?



Well, obviously, Toby, this particular

question isn't in the bank vault.



- Why?

- How the hell do I know why?



Well then, the hell with them.

Just answer Marty, then.



- I already agreed.

- Well, screw them.



Let them ask you a question

you really don't know. Ha, good luck!



You're Herbert Stempel. What are

they gonna do to you? Huh?



-You're right. What could they do to me?




- Screw 'em!

- Yeah.



Remember, call him Jack

as often as possible.




- Fifteen seconds to channel.



Good evening.

I'm Jack Barry.



- Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.

- Five.



Good evening.

I'm Jack Barry.



- Coming to air in...

- Hello. Watch your headroom. Time.



- Ten,

- Ten.

- nine...



- I'm Jack Barry.

- eight, seven, six...



- Steady, one.

- five, four...

- Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.



- three, two, one.

- Fade up and cue him.



Good evening.

I'm Jack Barry.



So, let's meet our

first two players as Geritol...



America's #  tonic,

presents Twenty-One.



From New York City,

Mr Charles Van Doren.



-And returning with $     

from Queens, New York...

- Van Doren?



- Mr Herbert Stempel.

- Think that's his son?



Are you related in any way

to Mark Van Doren...



- I don't know. I guess so.

- over at Columbia University,

the famous poet and author?



- Yes, he's my father.

- He is your father.



Yes. Both he and my Uncle Carl

have won the Pulitzer Prize...



and Dorothy Van Doren, the author of the

recent The Country Wife, is my mother.



-Okay, Herb, you know something

about Mr Van Doren.

-Joey, punch the audio a little.



You have $     .



Do you want to take it

and quit while you're ahead...



or risk it

by playing against him.



It's a tough decision,

I know.



- What'll it be?

- I'll, I'll take a chance.



You will take a chance!

All right, then.



- Here we go, gentlemen.

- You sure Herbie's on board with this?



Could I take

the third part last?



I guess, I guess that Atahualpa

was the leader of the Incas

at the time of the conquest.



- Correct.

- Wouldn't that be William Allen White?



- That is correct.

- I'd like to take the third part last.



His fourth wife

was Anne of Cleves.



- He divorced Catherine of Aragon.

- Uh, he divorced her.



- He beheaded Anne Boleyn.

- Well, they all died.



Herb Stempel leads at this point

by     to    .



- Herb?

- Yes, Mr Barry.



The category is movies. How many

points do you want to try for?



I'll try for three.

Three points.



Which motion picture

won the Academy Award for      ?






Best Picture.



- Marty.

- Best Pic--






He doesn't know it?



All right, Herb. I'll tell you

when your time is up.



I don't re-remember.

I don't remember.



Are you sure you wouldn't want

to guess at it, Herb?



- Otherwise, I'll have to call it wrong.

- Wait.






Your time is up, Herb.

I'll need your answer.



Best Picture...



of      --



On the Waterfront?



No. I'm sorry.

The answer is Marty.



I don't believe it!



Marty. It was Marty

that won the Academy Award...



for Best Picture

in      .



- Marty was Ernest Borgnine.

- Geez, what an easy question.



Academy Award for      .

You lose three points.



You go back to    .

Better luck on the next round.



And now for you, Professor.

The category is...



the Civil War.



How many points do you want

to try for from one to eleven?



Civil War. That's a,

that's an awful big subject.



Well, here goes nothing.

I'll, I'll try for eleven.



Eleven points will bring you to     ,

and you will be our new champion!



Because of a disagreement

with his commanding general...



Ulysses S. Grant was virtually

placed under arrest

for a brief time early in      .



Who was the commanding general

of the Union Army at that time?



Tough question.



It's just

so oddly familiar.



Would you like

some more time?



- Whatever you can spare.

-All right.



Do you know the name?



Yes, I know his name.

Halleck. General H. W. Halleck.



You are our new champion

with $      !



Well, come on out, Herb.

Come on out, Professor.



Wasn't that something,

folks? Huh?



You feelin' all right?



Very good. Perhaps we can get an ice,

an ice pack out here for the Professor.



- I suspect his grey matter is red-hot.

- I wonder if he's married.



Our congratulations for a wonderful

victory. Professor Charles Van Doren.



You know, I'm constantly amazed

at the facts these guys have

at their fingertips.



- Tough questions tonight.

- Uh, yeah. Oh, well, not really.



- Wow, you were fantastic.

- Oh, yeah?



- Hey, you, you better unlist

your phone number.

- Can you believe the pressure?



- Look at him. He's soaking wet.

- Is this guy a natural or what?



-He's a natural.


-Do you think he's involved with anyone?



- This guy is a racehorse.

- I don't know.

- I'm gonna miss ya, Herb.



You know, I'm really

gonna miss this guy.



- Hey, Dan, listen.

- Oh, hi.

- That guy is really terrific.



- We could easily beat out I Love Lucy

with no problem at all.

- I know we can.



- Let's get a photo here.

Oh, George, here we go.

- Step in here.



- Charles Van Doren, Miles Bronfman.

- Hold it!



- An executive here at the network.

- Oh, there we go.



- So what do you think, Charlie?

You excited?

- Professor, can I interrupt you?



- Charlie, I just wanna--

- My son was in your father's class.



- Oh, really?

- He says he's a saint.

- Charlie, I want you to meet...



- Bill Henderson.

He pr-promotes the show.

- Congratulations.



- Thank you.

- Sensational.Just sensational.



Now we have a clean-cut intellectual

instead of a freak with a sponge memory.



- Yeah.

- See you next week, Charlie.



Oh, I don't even want to think

about that. I was just so nervous.



Dan! Dan!



''So pure, it floats,'' hmm?



Are you kidding?

It was great!



Go home and have a martini.

We'll talk in the morning.



I, I'm gonna take

the stairs.



- How did you know he'd go for it?

- What would you do?



$     .



Meanwhile, it's okay if you know

the answer. Yeah, so it's--



My God, it's not like I haven't

worked hard. I deserve $     

as much as anybody.



My God! $     !



The highest navigable lake

in the world is...



- Lake Titicaca.

- Lake Titicaca.



That would have to be

Lake Titicaca.



Correct for ten points!



Michel Montaigne.

Around his neck...



Montaigne wore a medallion

which read: ''What do I know?''



- Hello, this is Herb Stempel

calling for Mr Enright.

- I, I'm terribly sorry. He's not in.



Our current reigning champion

from New York, New York...



- Hey, Professor! Professor!

- Mr Charles Van Doren.



...twenty-four hours,

Geritol liquid, or now, in new--



It's the only town house

available in the Village.



Yeah, I'll take it.



Will do. It's just that he is out of

the office right now. I have no idea--



This is, this is Herb Stempel.

This is about the    th time I've called.



- I'll guess William Pitt the Elder.

- You have     !



Come to me, Charlie. Good.

Smile. Hold the bag right there.

Hold it right there. Good.



Here, Professor Van Doren turns in

the evidence of his amazing popularity.:



thousands of letters a week

for the egghead turned national hero.



Winnings to date.:

$     !



Hey, Charlie,

the check's in the mail!



- Is Mr Enright in?

- I-I'm sorry, he's not right now.



Well, this is Herb Stempel.

You tell him that he promised

that he would call me back.



And if he doesn't, something is going

to happen. Do you understand that?



- I understand perfectly.

- That's right. Okay. Bye.



You just tell Mr Enright

that if he doesn't want to talk to me...



maybe the district attorney

would like to talk to me.



- If he wants to play hardball,

I'll play hardball.

- Very well.



- Good morning, Mr Van Doren.

- Hello.



And returning

with $     ...



our champion after seven weeks,

Charles Van Doren.



- Welcome to Twenty-One, gentlemen.

- Good evening, Jack.






Clear the--

Clear the street.



It was a totally

humiliating experience for me.



All my friends knew that I loved Marty.

It's one of my favourite films.



I, I, I saw it three times.

It's about a boy in the Bronx--



Mr Enright

will see you now.



Have a seat, Herb.



Thanks for comin' up. I feel

we have some unfinished business

we need to hash out.



I have some unfinished business

with you, too.



This whole thing with the grand jury and

the things you said, well, they hurt me.



I can't tell you how--

Well, they hurt me deeply.



- I told the truth.

- There you go again.



You promised me, Dan. Y-You

promised that you'd help me out.



Don't you think that I wanna help you

more than I already have?



But the point is,

you've made it impossible.



- Look, you want me to, uh...

- I want you...

- apologize?



- to sign this statement.

- I apologize.



What kind of statement?



It clears me and the show

of any wrongdoing.



- What about the panel show?

- See? That's a perfect example.



I told you I'd do what I could,

and I did. I put your name on a list.



You put me on a list?

That's it?



NBC owns our company.

Everything goes through them.



NBC bought your company for two

million bucks! What about me?



People, people watched me on that show.

Look. Look. Look at this.



- Oh, Herb, don't start--

- ''He has become a friend

in over    million homes...



whose weekly visits the whole

family eagerly anticipates.''



I was a friend, too,

in    million homes.



Look, what can I tell you, Herb?

Life is unfair.



Life is unfair to me. Life's not

unfair to Charles Van Doren.



- Remember how he snubbed me

after the show?

- There'll be other shows.



What other shows?

I need the money, Dan.



Wha-- What?

How could you need the money?



It's gone. I mean, it's invested.

It's tied up. I just--



- Well, can't you talk to your broker?

- He's not a broker.



He's more of a bookmaker.

It's seed money.



He's setting up in Florida right now.

He says it's the next growth area.



You gave your money to a bookie

who skipped town?



I, I want what I have coming, Dan.

I have to get back on television.



- Herb, I'm gonna-- I'm--

- Show me this list. Where's this list?



I submitted a list of    names. They

rejected three. You were one of them.



That big uncircumcised putz is

on the cover of Time magazine...



and I can't even make the top   

for a panel show? Well--



Look, maybe, maybe, I-- Maybe, you could

warm up the audience before the show.



I c-- I could throw you

   bucks a week.



   bucks a week?

That should be me on the cover of Time!



- Shit, Herb!Just sign this statement.

- Charles Van Doren!



He wouldn't know the answer to a

doorbell if you didn't give it to him.



Sign this statement,

and get on with your life!



Sign the statement, Herb. Sign

the statement. Who cares if it's true?



- I'm giving you a chance.

- You promised me!



You get me that panel show,

or I'm gonna bring you down

with me, ya lousy, lyin' prick!



- You and Charles Van fuckin' Doren.

- No, you're not.



I'll just tell everyone that

it's a fraud. That'll warm 'em up.



The fix is in this week

on Twenty-One!



- When's my next appointment?

- The cover of Time?



His mug shot will be

on the cover of Time!



What the hell happened?






- Why am I the only one

working this morning?

- What have you got over there, Mooie?



''Demonstrators stoned

Vice President Nixon's...



motorcade as it proceeded

through Caracas.''



Gee, Dick, what's the

New York Times say? Same thing?



- Generally.

- Most people who live in Washington...



- settle for the Washington papers.

- Yeah, well, the Times

is the paper of record.



- Ahh!

- Ooh!



Dick hopes someday to be confused

with an important person.



''Although the crowd was cordoned off

at a distance of a hundred yards...



an unidentified Venezuelan struck Nixon

in the head with a thrown onion.''



- Wow.

- The Senators should sign this guy.



Did you guys know there was a grand jury

in New York on the quiz shows?



Jim Lemon can't even hit

the cutoff man. This guy throws

a    -foot strike with an onion.



- Have they come up with anything?

- They sealed the presentment.



- That's a no.

- Uh, why do you say that?



A presentment's

a statement of findings.



If there were anything in it, they'd

want to release it to the public, right?



If the purpose is to make findings

public, then why keep it a secret?



Why seal the presentment?

It's illogical.



- It's a local matter.

- It's television.



- Whoa! TV.

- It's under our jurisdiction, right?



I mean, we have oversight over

all the agencies. It includes the FCC.



You're gonna investigate

a dead investigation?



We're gonna put television

on trial. Television!



Everybody in the country'll

know about it.



- What do you have?

- There's somethin' there.



Mr Chairman,

I'll find it.



The networks?

The pharmaceutical industry?






That's big game, son. You don't

go huntin' in your underwear.



Sir, I smell somethin'. At least give me

a chance to see what I can dig up.



Let me go up to New York.



This isn't some junket

for you to stay in a hotel and

see a Broadway show, you know.



I'm givin' you exactly one week

to find something. You got that?



Unseal a presentment.

I don't know.



I don't know how you

go about that. I've never--



Oh, here you go.

Look at this.



Hasn't been a presentment under seal

in the state of New York since      .



- That explains it.

-      ?

- Mmm.



Counsellor, I've reviewed in detail

the material submitted in your request.



A man's reputation

is coin of the realm to him.



I sealed this presentment

to protect the reputations

of those unfairly implicated...



by a certain mentally

unstable finger pointer.



That interest, along with

important issues of federalism...



dictate that I reject

your committee's request at this time.



Mr Enright's office.

Mr Enright?



It's Judge Schweitzer.



- Yes?

- Hi. Mrs Mitchell?

- Uh-huh.

- My name is Richard Goodwin.



I'm with the Congressional Subcommittee

on Legislative Oversight.



Uh, we've been investigating

the quiz shows recently, and--



- Um, I was wondering if I could

ask you a quick question.

- Oh, I've got people.



- Could I just have

a moment of your time?

- No. No.



I was, uh, curious how many

episodes you, you appeared on.



- Not very many. No.

- How many?

- Three weeks.



Did anyone ever ask you

not to talk to anyone?



The Today Show

with Dave Garroway...



and Dave's regular co-host,

Mr J. Fred Muggs.



Dave's guests this morning are:

the Aga khan...



Lyle Goodhue, inventor

of the aerosol spray can...



and quiz champion

Charles Van Doren.



Take a look at that.

Look at that. See that?



Yes. Uh-huh.



Well, you have that conversation

and I'm gonna begin the show.



I'll see you, Mr Muggs.



Good morning.



- And good morning, Charlie.

- Good morning, Dave.



- How are you this morning?

- I'm fine, thank you.



I see we have a, uh, an unusually

large crowd outside there this morning.



- So, how long has it been now, Charlie?

- It's been nine weeks now.



- And you've won how much?

- $     .



- Hmm. So that's, uh, $        a week.

- That's right.



Although last week, I know you

were preempted for another programme.



Well, that's the problem

with television. The pay's good,

but it's not that steady.



Don't remind me.

I'm up for renewal.



So tell us about the book

you're working on.



Well, it's called

Lincoln's Commando...



and I hope people will find it

as interesting as I do.



How do you think Honest Abe

would do on a quiz show?



- Honest Abe?

- Yeah.



Well, I-I think he'd do very well.

And, of course...



on a show like this, he'd be,

he'd be wonderful.



I'm sure he would.



- Here we are, Professor.

- Yeah, I-I'm just--



I just have to tie

my shoe.



- Hi, Mr Van Doren.

- Hey, Mr Van Doren!






- Oh!

- Hi.

- Good morning, Mr Van Doren.

- Good morning.



- Hello, Mr Van Doren.

- Professor, where's the monkey?



- We saw you on TV this morning.

- You did?



- Can I have your autograph?

- Is Thomas Merton

Episcopalian or Catholic?






Hello. Are you here

for office hours?



No, no.

I-I'm Richard Goodwin.



- Uh, did Clark Byse call?

- Clark Byse? N-No, he didn't.



See, I'm up from Washington.

He suggested I-I might look you up.



- You're not a stockbroker, are you?

- A lawyer, which is bad enough.



- Professor Byse taught me Contracts.

- Oh, well, then we have

something in common.



- He taught me my backhand.

- I'm with the House Subcommittee

on Legislative Oversight.



I've been swarmed by

stockbrokers lately. I feel like

a girl with a bad reputation.



The Committee has, uh,

jurisdiction over television.



I'm sorry.

Please, um, have a seat.



Thank you.



You must've done very well at Harvard.

Clark doesn't like anyone.



Yeah, I was, uh, actually

first in my class.



Well, you make it sound

like an affliction.



- Well, one doesn't like--

- Did you clerk?



- Uh, Frankfurter.

- Oh, really? Hmm.

- It's nothing.



Uh, I'll tell you, uh, what I

love is what you do: literature.



Well, hell, if I was first

in my class, I'd get a tattoo.



So what brings you to New York,

Dick? Uh, literature?



Let me ask ya. Did you ever notice

anything out of the ordinary...



about the quiz show

you're on?



- What?

- Anything suspect? Anything at all?



You mean, besides its,

uh, popularity?



Well, what I'm hoping is that

you might be able to give me

some kind of road map here.



-I feel like we speak the same language.

-Well, of course.

Anything I can do to help.



- Oh, um, Mr Van Doren.

- Yes? Yes, yes, yes.



- Oh, I'm sorry. Um, I'm in your

class on the Romantics, and--

- Of course you are.



I, I-- Actually, I'm auditing it because

you've been on television. Do you--



- Should I come back later?

- Oh, um-- If you don't mind--

- Well, I'll come back.



- I'll tell you what, Dick.

- It's all right.

- Why don't you meet me tomorrow?



I'll take you to lunch

at the Athenaeum.



- What?

- I'm sorry. The Athenaeum Club

at Forty-third and Fifth?



- Say, uh, tomorrow at noon?

- Lunch at the Athenaeum.



- At noon.

- Great.

- Great. See you then.



I wanted to talk to you

about Ode On a Grecian Urn.



Ah! ''Beauty is truth;

truth, beauty.



That is all ye know on earth

and all ye need to know.''



-Does he really mean that

about beauty and truth?

-Why a foster child? I don't understand.



Congress investigates




Congress investigates mobsters.

That is not me!



Yeah, well, look on the bright side.

You'll be on national television.



- That's a joke, Charlie.

- Well, that's not funny.

- Charles Van Doren!



-It's just not funny.

-H-Hey! Charles Van Doren! How ya doin'?



- I'm worried about this.

- Yeah, well, look, I alred--

Wh-Who was that?



That's just, just,

just some guy.



Well, look, I already know about

this guy Goodwin, and I'm on top of it.



-So trust me.

-You callin' Information?

-Well, you don't-- You don't understand.



- What are you dialin' for?

For Information?

- They have a name!



Charles Van Doren, he's

dialin' for, for Information.



Hey, Chuck, what do you do?

Chuckie! Answer this question.



- Answer this question.

- I-I-I'm sorry. I gotta go. I gotta go.



- What street do I live on

in Brooklyn, huh?

- Did you tell him anything?



- No, no, no, I didn't--

- Charles, come out of there.

Come out. You got fans here.

- I, I gotta go.



- We wanna talk to you!

- I gotta go! I gotta go!

- Come on. Let's go.



Hey, Chuck, how ya doin'?

How ya holdin' up? All right?



Hey, can I get an autograph for my wife?

Give me an autograph for my wife!



Come on, Charles, don't be a snob.

Give me an autograph for my wife.



So Sandra says what's ever

on her mind.



- And you've been married how long?

- Five years. You?



Oh, no.



I'm supposed to be fixed up

with this girl on the cover of

the new Harper's Bazaar, but--



- Well, you know how that is.

- Yeah.



- Waldorf salad for you, Mr Van Doren.

- Oh, thank you.



- And a Reuben sandwich.

- Thank you.



- So--

- Oh.



What do you know about this grand jury

investigation, Charlie?



Oh, I remember Dan mentioned

something about this...



that it was all some,

some wild-goose chase.



Uh, a political thing.



They talk so fast in that business that

half of it goes right past me.



- Dan?

- En-Enright.



He's really the one

to talk to.



- You know if he testified?

- Uh, uh, more water!



Uh, you can reach him at NBC.

Dan Enright.



So, how long have you been

with this committee, Dick?



- Six months.

- Mm-hmm.



Seemed like a good way

to postpone the inevitable.



Postpone the inevitable?

Uh, is there a spot for me?



- I mean Wall Street.

- Oh.



So, back to this, uh,

grand jury business.



- I'm wondering.

- Oh.







Excuse me, Frank.



This is a surprise.



How are you, son? We share an office,

and I never see you any more.



Oh, I'm there, Dad. I'm just

hiding behind your reputation.



No, I'm serious!

We all miss you at home.



Please join us. Dad, this is Dick

Goodwin. He's up from Washington.



- Narrow escape.

- Dad doesn't like Washington.



A swamp that traded

malaria for politics.



- What's the special?

- It's the Reuben.



The Reuben sandwich is the only

entirely invented sandwich.



Won the National Sandwich

Contest two years ago.



A salient point.

Who invented it?



Uh, Reuben kay,

at a poker game in Omaha.



I knew there was a ''k''

in Nebraska.



U-Unfortunately they have the

sandwich here, but, uh, they

don't seem to have any Reubens.



- Touché.

- Dick's a protege of Clark Byse.



I just finished a, a clerkship

with Justice Frankfurter.



Of course you did. Frankfurter

collects brains the way

other people collect stamps.



Uh, did you happen to see

the show Monday, Dad?



Monday! Uh, we were

with Bunny Wilson.



Oh, no, it's nothing.Just there was

a question about Hawthorne.



Oh, well, you know how it is

with Bunny once he gets going.



So, Dick, Charlie invite you

to his poker game yet?

He's a hell of a poker player.



We have-- We have a regular

game Thursday nights, just some

friends I went to school with.



- You're welcome to come over next week.

- Are you a gambler, Dick?



I-I don't know if I'm a gambler.

I know which end of an ace is up.



Well, Dick, if you look around the table

and you can't tell who the sucker is...



it's you!



Yeah, Dan Enright, please.



Uh, Dick Goodwin.



Uh, no. Actually,

I'll just call back. Thanks.



''Name the three heavyweight champions

who preceded Joe Lewis.''



- Oh, I know that! Uh,Jim Braddock...

- Mm-hmm.



Max Baer...






- Damn. No.

- Primo Carnera.



- Primo Carnera. Of course.

- Yeah, good ol' Primo. I was

there that night at the Garden.



- Oh, really?

- The night Baer beat him. Yeah.



Hey, the big guinea. Twelve

times Baer knocked him down.



Al, I've been thinking. Maybe you

shouldn't give me the answers any more.



Now, what do you want

to do that for, Professor?



Charlie, you're doin'

the right thing, really.



- Everybody's makin' money.

- Well, what if you just

gave me the questions...



and I could look up

the answers on my own?



I mean, don't you think that'd be--

Well, be less egregious?



Only in the balcony.



You know about that.



All right, now,

your consequence--



Doesn't want the answers any more.

Just wants the questions.



- Who?

- Who? The Great White Hope.



That's right.

Now, the consequence is behind--



Dan, what the hell

is ''egregious''?



He just wants

the questions?



- Uh, excuse me. Uh, Mr Noland?

- Yeah?



My name is Richard Goodwin.

I'm with the Congressional

Subcommittee on Legislative Ov--



Get out.



No, no, I don't wanna say

anything. No, can't help you.



I told them everything I had to say.

Everything I knew, I told them.



- Yeah?

- Mr Stempel. My name is Dick Goodwin.



I'm an investigator with the

Subcommittee on Legislative Oversight...



- of the United States Congress.

- Yeah?



- Did you recently testify

before a grand jury?

- Yeah.



Well, if you have a minute,

I'd really like to talk to you about it.



Gee, fi-finally. I, I knew

it was just a matter of time.



Come in.



- Didn't you go to City College?

- Uh, Harvard.



- Toby!

- Oh.



Oh, this is, this is my

wife Toby. This is Mr Goodwin.



He's an investigator

from the United States Congress.



W-Would you like a cup of coffee, Mr--

Uh, I, I already got the pot on.



I tell you,

that sounds great, actually.



And bring some rugulach

if there are any left.



I love my wife, but it's like

livin' with a plague of locusts.



If Charles Van Doren told 'em

what I told 'em...



do you think this whole grand

jury thing would be squashed?



- Quashed. It's not ''squashed.''

- Not in a million years. Quashed, okay?



- What exactly did you tell

the grand jury?

- Have one.



- Uh, no, thanks.

- Lester, would you knock it off

for ten minutes?



Come on, they're a Jewish

delicacy. Before Toby eats it.



- I'm retainin' water

for your information.

- You and the Grand Coulee Dam.



Come on, you don't know

what you're missing.



I'm quite familiar

with rugulach, thank you.



H-How'd a guy like you

get into Harvard?



- Capped teeth.

- Lester!



Herb, what exactly

did you tell the grand jury?



No, you can't ask me that.

It's, it's, it's sealed. It's illegal.



Well, uh,

just between us.



They made me take a dive.



Marty. They made me lose

on Marty just to humiliate me.



- Who made you take a dive?

- Dan Enright.



He told me I had plateaued,

that the ratings had plateaued.



- A sinking ship and the rats stayed.

- Do you think in a million

years I wouldn't know Marty?



And meanwhile, Charles Van Moron

would be on the show     weeks in a row?



Why, I-I don't understand.

H-How could they make you take a dive?



- What?

- Why didn't you just answer

Marty if you knew it?



What? And throw away

his future in television?



- Would you please go inside

and tell Gene krupa to take five?

- Lester. Lester!



You're so naive. It's a fix.

It's all-- It's all a fix. A setup.



I made a study of it. They always

follow a Jew with a Gentile.



And the Gentile wins more money.

What is that, a coincidence?



Herb, you're saying this whole

grand jury thing was because of you.



You know what you have to do?

You have to nail Van Doren.



- Are you gonna nail Van Doren?

- Look, first of all,

I'm not here to nail anyone, okay?



- This isn't McCarthyism.

- Listen, think about what

McCarthyism did for McCarthy.



Let me ask you something.

Do you have any corroborative

evidence to what you're saying?



Listen to me. Don't make necessarily the

mistakes that I might have made in life.



Think about your career. You nail

Van Doren, it'll be bigger than Sputnik.



It'll be like a big, blond

Sputnik crashing right down

on his, whew, friggin' head.



Charlie? Hi.

Dick Goodwin.



Uh, I hope you don't mind.

The English Department gave me

your number up in Connecticut.



Yeah. Look, um, I-I met

with Herbert Stempel yesterday.



And, uh, he told me a couple

of things. I'm kinda curious--






Sure. Well,

what train was that?



Yeah, just, ho-hold on.

I got a pen right here.



Grand Central Station.






Cornwall, Connecticut.



I will, uh-- I will, uh--

I'll get right on the way.



- Dick, I'm glad you could make it.

- Charlie.



That's some

snappy-looking Mercedes.



Come around the back.

We're just about to eat.



- What is that, a    ?

- Yes. My father's birthday,

so I bought myself a car.



- It's only got       miles on it.

- The show's treating you well,

huh? It's good lookin'.



Dorothy, your tomato salad

is fabulous!



- What's your secret?

- Manure.



Now look at Thomas. Thomas

is aerodynamically designed

to go directly to heaven.



- And who are you?

- Dick Goodwin.



- I'm a friend of Charlie's.

- Ah.



- You sound like you're from Boston.

- Brookline, actually.



The wrong girl for me.



- You know I didn't.

- Oh, yes, you did.



- We have the horseradish

growing in the garden.

- Well, that's good.



- So, how long have you been married?

- Twenty years.



- Auntie Rita had an affair

with Wendell Willkie.

- Yeah?



''Now see summer bloom upon this lea.

Three score rings around this tree.



Once green; now bare.



Once lush; now sere.



Consoled only

that I am planted here.''



You certainly are.



- ''Roots thick...

- And old.

- and deep...



- And doddering.

- assuage my woes--''



- A termite nibbles at my toes.

- Et tu, Bunny?



- Charlie, is Jack Barry single?

- I think so.



Well, my roommate has a huge crush

on him. She wants you to introduce her.



- What's Dave Garroway like?

- Cheap.

- Cheat?



- Wasn't I talking?

- You were, yes. Talking

and talking and talking.



Charlie's famous,

like Elvis Presley.



I've become like Leopold of Belgium,

usurped by his son before his time.



I suppose that makes me

king Baudouin.



No. Next birthday,

you all get a dirty limerick.



I certainly hope so!



So, how's it feel,




Well, I can't even eat dinner

in a restaurant any more.



And people follow me inside to discover

what kind of brain food I eat.



In my day, it was flagpole-sitting

and swallowing goldfish.



- Last week alone, I had

    proposals of marriage.

- Perhaps you should accept one of them.



To think that they unleash you

on those impressionable young minds.



Well, why not? He's    years old.Jesus

Christ had a girlfriend at    years old.



- Look how that turned out.

- And he shared an office

with his father.



- I'm sure they're all very nice girls.

- In that case, perhaps

I should appear on a quiz show.



Oh, the money, meanwhile,

no one knows what to do with it...



though every stockbroker

in New York seems eager to try.



Why don't you just put it

in the bank? What I've

always done with my prize money.



No, it's just-- You don't

understand, Dad. It's, uh--



There are all sorts

of tax implications.



You think I can't understand

the concept of taxes?



- At this level,

it's a bit more complicated.

- And at my level?



I never thought of myself

having a level, Charlie.

What level might that be?



I mean, it's not as if the money

fell into my lap. I worked for it.



- W-Work? Ah, ho, ho, ho.

- Millions of people

watch the game shows, Dad.



Then I suppose we've become

a nation of proctors.



- Mark.

- Help me out here, Harvard.



Uh, claim victory

and depart the field.



- 'Course we don't have a television.

- Why on earth would we need

a television?



How much money is it again?

Wha-- What?



- They don't have a television.

- You haven't seen the show?



We were supposed to watch it

the other night at Thurber's--



Even Thurber has a television,

and he's blind.



What? How, how much is

it now, Charlie?



- $        .

- What?



- Oh!

- I never!

- She heard that all right.






''Some rise by sin

and some by virtue fall.''



Measure For Measure.



''To do a great right,

do a little wrong.''



- Merchant of Venice.

- It's this game our family plays.



''Oh, what men dare do!

What men may do!



What men daily do,

not knowing what they do.''



Much Ado About Nothing.

''Things without remedy

should be without regard;



what's done is done.''



''Things without all remedy.''




''How ill white hairs

become a fool and jester.''



- Now, Professor, open your presents.

- Yes!



- Well, what have we here?

- Aftershave.






- He's opening it now.

- Ha-ha.



Oh, no!

Oh, oh, my God! How swell!



I guess I'm surrounded.

Thank you, Charlie.



I-I thought

you might like it, Dad.



- Do you remember Herbert Stempel?

- Remember him? I still

can't believe I beat him.



Stempel tells me

that Dan Enright...



made him take a dive

from the show.



- What?

- He tells me that Dan Enright

made him take a dive.



- That's ridiculous.

- Yeah?



A little odd, though, don't you think?

I mean, losing on such an easy question?



You know, frankly, Dick,

if Stempel can just run around...



and smear a man like Dan Enright

to the United States Congress--



No, nobody's smearing anybody. I'm just

trying to figure out the truth here.



Uh, could you just untie

the bowline there and just shove us off?



All right.



Dick, could you raise the jib

for us, please?



- What's the jib?

- It's the-- Yeah.



Do you remember what it was like

for guys like us when we were in school?



When being smart

was like being cross-eyed?



But you should see the letters I get.

kids are excited about...



about books and learning

and general knowledge.



Dan Enright had a,

had a lot to do with that.



Yeah, but don't you think

he wanted you to win?



I mean, if, if you look at

the ratings, they're staggering.



Well, what did he say,

''they made him take a dive''?



- Well?

- Well, how did they make him

take a dive, anyway?



He didn't want to jeopardize any future

he might have in television.



Yeah, well--



Anyway, how many people did you say

testified in front of the grand jury?




What's your point?



Well, if what you're saying

is true, then everybody lied.



- Hi. Al Freedman.

- Hi, I'm Dan.

- How are you doin'?

- Good to see you.



- I'm sorry for the delay. Come on in.

- We're very busy today. Have a seat.



- Would you like a

cup of coffee or, uh...

- Anything?

- a soft drink?



- I'm fine, thanks.

- Are you sure?

- We're very well-stocked up here.



- Nothing?

- I'm fine!

- No trouble.



So, I understand you've spoken

to Charles Van Doren.



- And Herbert Stempel.

- Oh, I was afraid of that.



He says, and I quote, that

he was made to ''take a dive.''



Oh, believe me, I'm quite familiar

with Herb's allegations.



You know, I think

I could recite them by rote.



Forty-six witnesses swore up and down

Herbie's a lying tub of shit.



- Al.

- I'm sorry.

- Why the big secret?



Well, to protect

people's reputations.



I mean, frankly, you never know what

the public is gonna believe, you see?



There's that, and um--



- And what?

- Look, Dick, I wa--



- Can I call you Dick?

- Sure, Dan.



After the loss, Herb came

to visit me in an agitated--



Well, I, I suppose the clinical

term would be, uh, what?



- The guy's nuts.

- Manic. He was in a manic...

- Manic.

- frame of mind.



And I took the precaution

of tape recording that meeting.



Al, would you play the tape?

Listen to this.



You get me that panel show or I'm gonna

bring you down, you lousy, lyin'prick!



You and

Charles Van fuckin'Doren!



What is this, Herb?

Are you blackmailing me?



I need that money, Dan. I need

to get back on television.



You get me that panel show or

I'll tell everyone it's a fraud.



- You know that's not true.

- Who cares if it's true?



- ''The fix is in this week

on Twenty-One.''

- Okay.



Herb, I can't believe--



So he needed mo-more money

after all that money he won?




And that's the least of it.



I mean, if the judge was protecting

anyone, he was protecting Herb.



Given, uh-- Well--



- His medical condition.

- His medical condition?



- Oh, yeah.

- Al, get the bills.



I mean, put yourself in his shoes.

He's no longer in the public eye.



He's remembered, if he's

remembered at all, as ''the

guy that lost to Van Doren.''



Television is like a monkey

on his back...



and we're not talking about someone

who is necessarily stable to begin with.



- No.

- So you paid for his psychoanalysis?



- I felt responsible.

- Yeah, you're too nice.

- No, I'm not.



If it were up to me, I would've sent him

to the skating rink the fast way.



- Five sessions a week?

- Five, and not a dent.



Herb is so angry with himself

for losing, and it was on

such a simple question too.



- Marty.

- Marty. His ego couldn't handle it.



He blames Charles Van Doren

for his downfall.



And of course, the real downfall

of Herbert Stempel has always been...



- Herbert Stempel.

- Herbert Stempel. Absolutely.



Well, you met him.

Does he seem stable to you?



Well, I definitely have an inkling

of what you're talking about.



He told me this whole story

about how when a Jew is on the show...



he always loses to a Gentile, and then

the Gentile wins more money. Right?



I mean, who could dream up

a scheme like that?



A symptom of his

Van Doren fixation.



The thing of it is,

I looked it up. It's true.



We could check it.



- Herbie, I wanna go home.

- I took you to dinner, didn't I?

Just hold your horses.



This is ridiculous!




Where have you been? Why don't

you return my phone calls?

Did you talk to Van Doren, hmm?



- I'll tell you who I spoke to.

I spoke to Dan Enright.

- Well, forget Enright.



Ah, Goodwin,       please.



You threatened to blackmail him

if he didn't get you on a panel show.



What? When?

I didn't blackmail him.



- He's got the whole thing on tape.

- What are you talking about?



H-He promised me

that panel show.



What tape?

What are you talking about?



Listen, Goodwin, don't think

I don't see what you're doin'.



You're building this great case

against me, a pile of evidence...



an army of witnesses against me,

Herb Stempel.



And meanwhile, you and Van Doren

are off giving each other

the secret Ivy League handshake.



- Herb, you're making me

look like a jerk.

- I know what they're doing

to you. They did it to me.



Just because you went to

Harvard, you think you have

some stake in the system, huh?



- He didn't pay for

your psychiatrist bills?

- The point is Van Doren

got the answers.



He did not get the answers.

If anything, he gave them the answers.



- I know he got the answers!

- Ah, bullshit, Herb.

How do you know he got the answers?



Because I got the answers!



- You got the answers? What do

you mean, you got the answers?

- Well, not very many answers.



I just wanted to get out

from under the financial thumb,

as it were, of my in-laws.



I don't understand, Herb.

I thought you were a victim in all this.



I didn't hold myself up to be

the crown prince of education.



I didn't preen myself on

the cover of Time magazine with

a face full of phoney humility--



Good night, Herb.






- Hey, Toby, where do you think

you're going without me?

- You never told me you got the answers.



I knew the answers to a good

part of the questions anyhow.

The ones I didn't, they fed me.



- I-I'm sure I must've mentioned it.

- It's not a thing you mentioned.



- What else did you do

that you didn't mention?

- Hey, Enright sat right

in our kitchen...



and said, ''How'd you like

to make $     ?''



I don't know any man in America

who would turn that down.



- It's dishonest.

- Let me tell you about honest.



You know what my father used to tell

me? ''Work hard and you'll get ahead.''



Was that honest?

Look at Geritol.



''Geritol cures tired blood.'' And I'm

the one who's supposed to be ashamed.



You never said that you

were getting the answers.



Let them believe whatever they

want. What do I care? What do

I care if a bunch of saps--



I was one of those saps,




He got the answers.

Now, why would he admit that?

I mean, he's only implicating himself.



- Well, maybe it's the truth.

- Yeah, well, I have a hunch

it is the truth.



Well, meanwhile, we'll have to have him

testify in a straitjacket.



Van Doren isn't crazy. Maybe

you should put him on the stand.



- What's Van Doren got to do with this?

- They gave Stempel the answers.



Why would Van Doren

be any different?



Sandra, you have no idea

what these people are like.



- It's all Thurber and Trilling

and, and Bunny Wilson.

- Bunny?



Yeah, Edmund Wilson.

That's what they call him.



- Well, that doesn't mean you have to.

- Look, my point is...



why would a guy like that

jeopardize everything he has?



- Which is what?

- Sandra, the man is on

the cover of Time magazine!



Well, he's not going to be on the cover

of Time as Mark Van Doren's son, Dick.



- Boxing.

- Boxing.

- Boxing.



How many points

would you like to risk?



Well, I'll risk

eight points, Jack.



All right. For eight points,

name the three heavyweight champions...



immediately preceding

Joe Louis.






Well, my father

would know that.



- That'd beJames J. Braddock.

- Correct.



Max Baer lost the belt

to Braddock.



Yes, and the fellow

Baer beat?



Oh, now, I remember

he knocked him down     times

before he finally succumbed.



- Would you like to guess

at it, Charlie?

- Yeah-- Primo Carnera!




You have    !



- Second base is Eddie Stanky.

- No, it's Red Schoendienst.

- Forget it!



- I hear that Pat Boone

plays in his white shoes.

- No, that's Daniel Boone.



- Ace-king bets.

- Check.

- Check.



- Bet five.

- I'll raise that a dollar.



- I'm out.

- Why?

- You better watch out, Fred.



Dick's one of the brightest

young lawyers down in Washington.



Great! All my money

already goes to Washington.



- You and me both, pal.

- Taxes!



- It's nothing but organized theft.

- No, property.



- What?

- ''Property is theft,'' I believe.



- That's the locus classicus

from Proudhon.

- Whoa!



- I warned you.

- Oh, great, another one.



Ace bets five.



- I'm out.

- I'll see that.



- What are you working on, Charlie?

- I raise five dollars.



- I'd love to know what you've

got under there, Charlie.

- The truth has its price.



Well, everything

has its price.



- So, where'd you prep, Dick?

- Dick's up here on a witch hunt.

He thinks Twenty-One is rigged.



- Oh, God.

- Is it?



Get out!



Hey, uh, which face cards

are in profile, without looking?



Jack of spades, king of

diamonds, jack of hearts.



Can we play cards? It's bad enough

my wife makes me watch this crap.



Okay, you're writing a book

on Lincoln. The night he was shot...



who was the doctor

at his deathbed?



-Joseph k. Barnes was the doctor.

- Whoa.



Who was the detective

on the case?



The detective was Clarvoe.

John Alexander Clarvoe.



- Who embalmed him?

- Come on.

- Black or brown?



- Hmm.

- Charles D. Brown.

- Then he was murdered

with estate taxes. Come on.



- Let's play, let's play, let's play.

- I'm impressed. You're not impressed?



Ace checks.












- Now I'm impressed.

- Go ahead, Dick, call 'em.



What do you say, Dick?



- I know you're lying.

- Whoa.




The word is bluffing.



Too rich for my blood.



- Try Geritol.

- Sandwich time.

- You bet.



How 'bout a drink? This game

could use a little juice, huh?



- Let's eat.

- Can you give me that ham...



- All right...

- in there.

- we're talking Stanky--



Charlie? Charlie? The only

people who can implicate you

directly are all in this room.



-Just think about that, okay?

- What, you think that nudzh

is gonna get me to talk?



Well, he may be a nudzh,

but he was also first in

his class at Harvard Law School.



- Oh, Harvard!

- Oh, will you please stop that?



- Al, stop it.

- Sorry. Charlie, they could

kill me, I wouldn't talk.



- They could subject me to

any kind of torture, um, uh--

- The rack?



- Thank you. They could put me

on the rack--

- The iron maiden?

- Whatever.



- The bastinado?

- Charlie, I'm not tellin' 'em

a goddam thing.



- Correct me, Dan, if I'm wrong.

- No, you're right.



Plus, what did you do wrong?

Everybody knows the magician

don't saw the lady in half.



- It's not exactly the same thing.

- It's entertainment.



I am a college professor!






They need the Professor

in make-up.



Oh-ho! Well.



Aren't you

Charles Van Doren?



I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to wake

you. I just had to get out of the city.



You're always welcome,




Sometimes it's hard

sleeping in the city.



Well, hope you don't mind.

I took the rest of the cake.



- You look like you could use it.

- Well, under a little strain lately.



That's the way it always is

when you're finishing a book.



Oh, no, actually it's the, uh,

television show.



Oh,Jesus! I just realized, uh,

we watched your show.



Did I tell you? Mother and I

moved the television to the den.



No, no.

You didn't mention it.



Anyway, what was it? Uh, something

about the Galapagos Islands?



You know what?

I'll try some of that.



The origin and destination

of the voyage of the Beagle.



That's right!

Biology for six points.



Good God, the pressure!



All those lights, the money,

those strange little booths...



that man talking so fast,

like being in a bullring.



I don't think

I could remember my name.



You know, I always had a good

head for that kind of stuff.



It's just amazing that you

could make it look so easy.



But your mother always said you were

the actor in the family, Charlie.



- Yeah.

- Huh?



As long as it doesn't interfere

with your teaching, why not?



- Dad?

- Huh?






Something on your mind?



You never told me

you felt pressure...



you know, um,

like finishing a book.




are you kidding?



When I was finishing the Hawthorne

book, I tossed and turned so badly...



your mother threatened

to check into a hotel.



Oh, sure!



You know, I think the old bird's

finally getting the hang of this.



You know, I, I just had

the strongest memory.



Coming home from school,

going to the fridge...



ice-cold bottle of milk,

big piece of chocolate cake.



It was just the simplicity

of it.



I-I can't think of anything that will

make me feel that happy again.



Not till you have a son.



That would be our most difficult

question on American literature.



For     points, I'll read you lines

from America's greatest poets.



You must identify the author.




''I hear America singing

the very carols I hear. ''



That would be

Walt Whitman.



That's right!




''I shot an arrow in the air.

It fell to earth, I know not where. ''



- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

- Right again, Jim!



Finally.: ''Hope is the thing with

feathers that perches in the soul. ''



That is, uh, actually,

by one of my favourite poets.:



- Emily Dickinson.

- I'm sorry, Jim.



Did-- Did you say

Emily Dickinson?



Oh! Well, yes!

All right!



- Dickinson.

- I'm sorry, Jim.



Did-- Did you say

Emily Dickinson? Oh! Well, yes!



...favourite poets.:

Emily Dickinson.



I'm sorry, Jim.



Did-- Did you say

Emily Dickinson?



Oh! Well, yes!



- Who is it?

- Mr Snodgrass?

- Yeah.



- Uh, my name is Richard Goodwin.

- Yeah.



Hi. I'm a federal investigator

with a congressional subcommittee.



The committee's been

investigating the quiz shows.



Um, I was just looking at

a kinescope of your appearance

on Twenty-One. I noticed--



Mr Snodgrass?



- This is good.

- Yeah? What is it?



- Drive on by.

- What?

- Go around to the back entrance.

- Okay.



Mr kintner's office.



E-Excuse me. Do you think he might

see me before the peacock molts?



- Uh, who are you with again?

- I'm with the United States Congress.



- Perhaps you've heard of them.

- Oh, your name is Goldw--

Excuse me, not you.



- Your name is Goldwyn?

- Goodwin.



Ah, yes. Please have a seat,

Mr Goldwyn, uh, uh, Goodwin.

I'll see if he's available.



- Right.

- Yes, that's red, long-stemmed.

Thank you.



Well, I'm sure he'd be available

if my name were Geritol.



Perhaps if you could

come back another time.



- Good night, Rose.

- Good night, Mr kintner.

- Mr kintner.



- Excuse me!

- My name is Richard Goodwin.

- Oh?



I'm with the Congressional Subcommittee

on Legislative Oversight.




How's Chairman Harris?



- Ah, he's fine.

- Still in that sand trap

where I left him?



Mr kintner, I am here to give

you a chance to cooperate.



We'll cooperate in any way

we can. Now, will you excuse me?



Twenty-One is rigged,

and I can prove it. Who won,

how long they were on the show.



It was all a scheme to keep the ratings

up, and NBC made millions off it.



Young man...



I am the President of the

National Broadcasting Company.



I have no idea what the day-to-day

operations of Twenty-One are.



Does Chairman Harris know

every little thing you're up to?



I have Enright cold.

And, sir, that means I have you.



- Really?

- Really.



Then why are you the one

that's sweating?



This week's challenger from New York,

New York, welcome Mrs Vivienne Nearing.



Returning this week with $        

our champion Charles Van Doren.



A very cordial welcome to the show,

Mrs Nearing. Mr Van Doren.




- You're back again

with a lot of money at stake.



Mrs Nearing, let's tell

the Professor and our audience

a little something about you.



A sometimes painter, pianist

and Double-Crostics fan...



she has a Bachelor's Degree

from Queens College, New York...



and an M.A. and L.L.B.

from Columbia.



She and her husband Victor

are lawyers in New York.



- Quite a bean inside

that pretty head, huh?

- She is terrifying.



All right, I think you both

know how to play the game. Don't

forget to put your earphones on.



The very best of luck to both

of you! Let's play Twenty-One!



Some of the most important

aeroplanes of World War II

were the following.:



the P-   the P-   

the P-   ...



the B-    the B-  

and the B-  .



Give me the nicknames that the

Air Force gave to these planes.



That's much harder than the

question they asked that woman,

and hers was ten points!



- Do you know the names of those planes?

- Of course not. Sit down.



Who would know the names

of those planes?



- He's not the Secretary of Defence.

- Shh, shh.

- B-    Liberator.



As we enter our final round, Mrs Nearing

leads by a score of     to    .



It is a moment of truth, as it

were, for Charles Van Doren,

our reigning champion...



after a record-breaking




Will he hold onto his title?




- Mrs Nearing?

- Yes?



You have

the required     points.



We're going to let you listen in

on this last round.



Please do not divulge your score

or speak in any way.



Mr Van Doren,

the category is royalty.



- Royalty.

- Royalty.

- Yes, sir.



- How many points

would you like to try for?

- Uh, well, let's see, uh--



- I'll take five, five points.

- All right.



Name the kings

of the following countries:



Norway, Sweden, Belgium

and Iraq.



- Could I take the third part last?

- Certainly.



Take as much time as you need, Charlie.

You have a lot riding on these answers.



I sure have. Well, Norway, that

would be Haakon. King Haakon.



- That's right.

-And Sweden, um, Gustavus.



- Right again, Charlie.

The King of Iraq?

- Iraq.



- Well, um--

- Turn it-- Turn it off!

Turn the damn thing off.



My God! What got into you?



It's just

too nerve-wracking!



I-I remember that's his,

um, great-uncle...



in that wonderful book,

The Seven Pillars of Wisdom.



Um, Do-- No. Um--

Faisal. Oh, King Faisal.



- Correct. And Belgium?

- Belgium. Belgium, Belgium,

Belgium. Let, Let me see--



- That's the third part?

- That's right.






The King of Belgium, um--







Let me see.




would you like more time?




The King of Belgium.



I, I, I can picture him, Jack, right

down to that Hapsburg lip that they--



It's-- I can't seem

to summon the name. Um--



He's gonna dump it.



Is Garroway here?



Professor, I'm sorry. I'm going

to have to ask for your answer.



It seems like an easy one.









No, I'm, I'm sorry, Charlie.

The answer is Baudouin.



king Baudouin.



Leopold is Baudouin's father,

the former king.



What a stunning turn

of events.



- Mrs Nearing, you have

just unseated our champion.

- Baudouin. Of course.



Come out here,

both of you.



Listen. You know what to do.

Give him another chance, that's what.



Call it a bonus round,

but get him on that show again.



- Someone will call

if he loses, won't they?

- I'm sure.



- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Changing of the guard as it were.



You take home $       

of Mr Van Doren's money.



We'll try not

to hold that against you.



Please, come back next week.

Tell us if you want to continue

playing. I sure hope you do.



- How 'bout a warm hand

for our new champion...

- Thank you.

- Mrs Vivienne Nearing?



Whoa. Now, who's that in our

wings? Is that Dave Garroway?



Dave Garroway of the NBC

Today Show, ladies and gentlemen.



Hello, Dave.



- How are you, Charlie?

- Fine, thank you, Dave.



I was wondering,

what are you gonna do now?



Well, I was, um, uh, hoping to

enjoy some peace and quiet now...



and, um, a chance

to get back to my books.



Well, you know, eventually this

sad day had to come, but we

don't wanna lose you, Charlie.



So, at the Today Show, we

decided why not make Charlie...



our special

cultural correspondent...



to the people and to the

school children of America.



Well, I-- I hope you're

not firing the chimp.



How does $      a year

sound to you, Professor?



Wow. Wow.



Um, well, I, uh--



I was hoping to, um,

to get back to my teaching.



Well, this is the largest classroom

in the world, Professor: television.



So, if you will, just sign

right here on the dotted line.



Charlie, walk away.

Come on. You don't need it.



- Congratulations, Charlie.

- Thank you.

- They're watching.

- That would be wonderful.



- Did Mr Garroway leave?

- Yes, sir.

- Good show, Dave.

- Thanks.



- Mrs Nearing, congratulations.

- Oh, thank you.

- It was a wonderful show.



- Gentlemen, this is Mrs Nearing.

- Al.

- You know Al Freedman.



- Yes, we've met.

- Right. Okay.

- You're gonna be meeting tomorrow.



- Okay, hold still--

- You're a very disruptive young man.



Okay, let's bring the camera out, and

let's bring the blackboard in, please.



- Okay, very good.

- Hey, you remember James Snodgrass?



And-- Who? And now, can we get

Mrs Nearing in there please?



-James Snodgrass.

- And get her in there with her family.



-Yeah, he was a contestant on your show.

-Okay. And, yeah.



You know how many contestants

we've had on this show? And

could we have a sh-- a shot...



- This man was an artist.

- with Jack Barry. That's very good.

- Maybe that'll jog your memory.



- He was an artist.

- Al digs these people up.

God knows where he finds them.



- He's in Greenwich Village.

- And now I'd like a picture with

her mother on the, on the left--



There was a question about the first

line of a poem by Emily Dickinson.



And Barry apparently expected

he was going to say Ralph Waldo

Emerson, and get it wrong.



Yeah. Really? Mr Goodwin,

I'm very busy right now.



Dan, I have it on the kinescope,

okay? It's clear as day. The man

literally did a double take.



Oh, he did a double take! And, and who

told you this? Is this Herb again?



- Or is this the

Greenwich Village beatnik?

- Oh, that's interesting.



Now, w-why is he a beatnik?

Because he's not Charlie Van Doren?



Yeah, you're damn right.

He's not Charlie Van Doren.



You know, you got these crackpots

comin' out of the woodwork.



You're snoopin' around

askin' questions.



You don't have a shred

of concrete evidence to--



Dan, let me tell you somethin'.

In this envelope...



are all the questions

that James Snodgrass was asked

on Twenty-One, okay?



The odd thing about this envelope is he

appeared on the show on January    th...



if you'll recall. Yet, somehow,

he mailed this to himself

January     th, registered mail.



I'd say that's pretty

goddam concrete, wouldn't you?



Here we go. Let's, let's get a good one.

Right into the camera.



Smile right into the camera.

There you go.



- I wasn't in that, was I?

You didn't see me?

- No, you were out. It's okay.



Why would he do that?



How's that trap feel

clamped on your leg?



He sent it to himself

registered mail?



Now, why should you be the fall

guy here when NBC and Geritol

are makin' the real money?






- Dan.

- You want me to implicate the network?



You don't owe them

a thing.



If I even hinted

that the network knew--



and they didn't know--



they'd never let me

through the door again.



I got a sneakin' suspicion you're

not going through that door anyway.



Television's my life,




It's over. Why don't you

go talk to your family?



I just had a thought.



Would you be interested

in your own panel show?









I'll get back to you

on that, Dan.



- Please excuse the robe.

- Oh, that's all right.



It's the first decent night's

sleep I've had in months.



- Would you like some coffee?

- I thought I'd stop by before

I head back down to Washington.



- I've got a    :   train.

- Mm-hmm.



We're going to announce

our hearings later today.



Oh, really?

As I exit the stage, you enter.



Well, don't forget

the world's biggest classroom.



Oh, that. Well, it's-- It's the,

it's the world's biggest something.



Uh, how do you like it, Dick?

You seem like a, a black coffee man.



Yeah, black's fine.



Here we go.

A toast to...






''It is the basket

in which the heart is caught...



when down some awful Battlement

the rest of Life is dropt.''



king Baudouin.



Emily Dickinson,




The one you lost on.



Oh, that. Oh it, it seems

the Belgian Consulate...



has formally protested

my ignorance.



Up at Cornwall, Charlie, your father

said he felt like Leopold. Remember?



Well, you lost on one you knew.

Same as Stempel.



Well, I, I must've had

a mental block.



I-I was there last night,

you know. And I-I could swear...



a smile crept across your face

when you lost.



I wanted to get off

the show.



You can understand that.

Look, I-I feel like I've been

holding my breath for     weeks.



Why? What'd you think

it was?



Uh, look. I spoke

to the committee, okay?



We're going to hold

the hearings without you.



I am not out to destroy

you or your family.



- You go on, you live your life,

and God bless ya.

- Okay.



But I wanna know, man to man,

did you get the answers?



- Man to man?

- Yeah, just between us.



What is this? Is this still

that business with Stempel?



I mean, Dan says he's not

the most reliable fellow.



Well, there's a problem, Charlie.

I found another contestant.



A man named James Snodgrass.

And he says he got the answers too.



- Are you sure these people

are telling the truth?

- He put all the questions...



in a sealed envelope and sent them

to himself, registered mail.



- That was two days before

he appeared on the show.

- Doesn't prove anything.



- Hey, you don't have to be

a genius to connect the dots.

- Well, don't connect them through me.



Hey, don't treat me like I'm some

member of your goddam fan club.



Are you tellin' me everybody

got the answers but you?



- You're so persistent, Dick.

You know, I really envy that.

- Was it just the money, Charlie?



You'll forgive me, but anyone

that thinks money is ever just

money couldn't have much of it.



Charlie, you want to insult me, fine.

But you can't envy me at the same time.



Jesus, Dick! If someone

offered you all this money...



to be on some rigged quiz show, instant

fame, the works, would you do it?



No. Of course not.



No, no. Throw the whole thing in:

the cover of Time, Dave Garroway...



      a year

to read poetry on television.



Would you do it?



- No.

- And I would?



H-Honestly, Dick.



All right.



Look, do me a favour.

Don't embarrass me.



keep your mouth shut. Don't say

anything. Don't talk to the papers.



Just disappear for two weeks.

Please, don't make me call ya.



More coffee, Dick?



Nope. I better go.

I don't wanna mi-miss my train.



The subcommittee

will be in order.



The, uh, special Subcommittee

on Legislative Oversight...



was created pursuant

to Section     ...



of the Legislative

Reorganization Act of      ...



to conduct a general investigation

into the operation...



of the, uh, Federal

regulatory agencies.



All right. I'll ask

if you were assisted in any way.



You answer, ''Yes.''

I'll say, ''How?''



You say, ''I was given the questions

and the answers in advance.''



Okay, why don't you

just sit on my pants, all right?



I'll ask, ''Was this done routinely?''

You answer, ''Yes.''



Not that tie.

The television tie, okay?



- We've gone over this

five times already.

- All right.



-Just try to relax up there.

- You didn't get to press

my shirt, did ya?



Be confident. Look at the Chairman

directly when you answer.



Enough! Now, you're worse than Enright.

I'm telling the truth.



If they prefer to be lied to, then can

just turn on the television, all right?



- It's just that there's

a lot riding on this.

- You're telling me...



there's a lot

riding on it, yeah.



- Well, what do you think,

Toby, huh? Huh?

- What? What do I think about what?



What do you think? You want-- You ready

to watch y-your husband give 'em hell?



- I just don't know what

you're gonna accomplish.

- Look, as soon as...



- Enright realizes th--

- What do you want,

the two-tone or the oxford?



- I think you should wear

the oxford. Here.

- Mrs Stempel, listen to me.



When Enright realizes that he's

all alone up there, and he's--

they're gonna cut him loose...



he will implicate NBC and

Geritol like that, and believe

me, you're gonna see somethin'.



I know what you're gonna

accomplish. I just don't know

what he's gonna accomplish.



You wanna know what? If I do

nothing else, I will convince them...



that Herbert Stempel knows what

won the goddamned Academy Award...



for the Best goddamned Picture

of      .



- That's what I'm going to accomplish.

- I'm sick of all this.



The subcommittee calls

Herbert Stempel.



- So, i-in other words,

you kept on winning.

- Yes, sir, that is correct.



At any time during this, uh,

championship run, were you ever

assisted in any way?



I was given the questions

and answers in advance.



Generally, I would receive the

questions and answers on Friday.



Then we'd have sort of

a rehearsal on Monday.



- Now, this is from the very beginning?

- Yes.



Dan Enright came to see me

in my kitchen, and he said, uh...



''How'd you like to make $     ?''

And I said, ''Who wouldn't?'' I mean--



Mr Stempel, what do you mean

by ''rehearsal''?



Well, uh, for example, he, uh,

told me how to breathe heavily

into the microphone...



and sigh, uh,

such as this, uh.



He told me how to stutter

and say in a plaintive voice...



''I will take, uh, nine,

uh, nine points.''



- So it was all choreographed.

- H-How to bite my lip.



How to mop my brow. He told me

specifically not to smear my brow...



but rather to pat

for optimum effect.



Of course, I'm shvitzing

the whole time because they

turned off the air conditioning.



Excuse me?



- That's funny.

- Mr Chairman?



Mr Chairman.

With your permission...



we might, at this point, view a,

a portion of the programme Twenty-One?



Whenever you're ready.



Herb Stempel, with your

$      still at stake...



although now

at $      a point.



The category

is newspapers.



How many points

you wanna try for?




There's the lip-biting.



Yes, we see.



Finally, I was told

to, uh, open my eyes...



and with a dazzling smile, give

the answer and explode when Jack

Barry says, ''That is right.''



The Emporia Gazette?



That is right!



I don-- I don't know where he

got it all. Some article on mass

psychology he read in Esquire.



- I'll try eight points.

- Yeah, watch Van Doren. He's

even better at it than I am.



- M-Mr Stempel, i-if I might refer you--

- Mr Stempel...



- are you suggesting that Charles

Van Doren was also coached?

- Of course he got the answers.



Why would they give me the answers,

and not give him the answers?



Why would they make me

take a dive unless they knew

the other guy would get to     ?



It's illogical. You don't fix

one guy without fixing the other guy.



It's im-m--

It's implausible mathematically.



It would be,

and you have eight points.



Hey, you see? Lo-- You see?

L-Look at him. You see, with

the brow, patting not smearing?



Uh, Mr Stempel,

have you ever received...



any psychiatric treatment

of any kind?



- What?

- Uh, Mr Stempel, I was wondering if--



Mr Goodwin, please.



Five sessions a week.

That's pretty extensive, isn't it?



Yeah, well, I believe

we could all use a little help

at various times in our lives.



Is it possible that any of

your testimony is motivated

by an irrational animosity...



- toward Mr Enright?

- I, I, I don't know.



If a, if a man doesn't live up

to his agreements--



A morbid fixation

on Mr Van Doren?



If a man promises certain things

just to shut me up--



''Now, how'd you like to make $     ?''

And you said, ''Well, who wouldn't?''



But in retrospect, look at Van Doren.

I should've held out for a lot more.



You prostituted your

intellectual ability for money.



That's the difference between me and Van

Doren. I admit it. I have my morality.



Charles Van Doren is a professor

at Columbia University.



A Masters degree

in astrophysics.



A Ph.D. in literature.



Hails from one of the most prominent

intellectual families in this country.



Isn't it just possible,

Mr Stempel...



that you got the answers

and he didn't?



This is awful.



So I told my husband,

''W-We really need a vacation.''



- And my husband says, ''What are

you gonna do with the cat?''

- Uh-huh.



- And I said, ''I don't know.''

And he said, ''Well, you better...

- Good morning.



think of something,

or we're not going on vacation.''



Will you excuse us?



- Charlie, I'm Bob kintner.

- Oh.



- Don't get up. It's about time we met.

- Hi. It's a pleasure.



- This whole quiz show mess.

- Uh-huh.



- And hearings and all that.

- Yeah. I've been following that

in the paper.



Well, our legal department

has prepared this for you.



We'd like you

to hold a press conference.



Oh, there's a split infinitive

here in the second paragraph.



Shall I schedule it?



Well, look, um,

I haven't been subpoenaed.



And I can't think of anything

that'd sound guiltier than a...



a man who hasn't been accused

of anything protesting his innocence.



Now, Charlie, speculation in our

society has a way of becoming fact.



Television is

a public trust.



We can't afford even a hint

of a scandal in our company.



Well, I had rather

not do it.



I'm sorry.



Haven't we been

good to you?



Haven't we treated you

like part of our family?



We have great expectations

for you, Charlie.



I know you're gonna do

the right thing.



- I'm sorry, Mr Van Doren--

- Is he in?



- He's gone, Mr Van Doren. He's--

- He's gone to Washington?



Mr Freedman's

gone to Mexico.



I still don't understand how

you can hold a quiz show hearing

without Van Doren.



Ah, Van Doren had no contact with NBC

or Geritol. Don't you understand?



They deal with Enright.

Enright's the key here.



The key to what? The jury hears

the public. The public

doesn't know Dan Enright.



The purpose is not to reform the

souls of the contestants. The

purpose is to reform television.



- It's like the Barenblatt

and the Sweezey cases.

- Oh, you don't want to call him?



Fine, Dick.Just don't patronize

me with your legal bullshit.



- She's got a point, Dick.

- Bob, maybe it's time

for you to go home, huh?



How'd you like

Dick's steak done, Bob? Medium?



There's absolutely no need to

drag the man into the spotlight.



- You dragged Herb Stempel

into the spotlight.

- Stempel?



The man has to be dragged

from the spotlight with

his teeth marks still on it.



Yeah, well, nobody forced

Charles Van Doren to go in front

of    million people, either.



Sandra, this is not McCarthyism.

We are not here to expose

for the sake of exposing.



- This is not the point!

- No, that is the point!

That is not your point.



You are ten times the man

Charles Van Doren is, Dick.



Ten times the brain,

and ten times the human being.



Meanwhile, you're bending

over backwards for him.



You are like the Uncle Tom

of the Jews.



I'm glad it's so easy for you

to destroy a man's life.

I'll have to keep that in mind.



Bob, sit down.



The quiz show hearings without Van Doren

is like doing Hamlet without Hamlet.



The Chairman's instructions

are for me to get you up there

as promptly as possible.



The questions are to take

no longer than     minutes.



You're to receive

the questions in advance...



and I'm to thank you for the courtesy

of attending this hearing.



Mercy. What a gruelling

line of inquiry.



Must have a familiar ring,

the questions in advance.



Would you excuse us

for a moment, please?



And take this, please.

Thank you.



- Young man--

- The ratings went up

if the same contestant...



came back week after week.

There was only one way for that

to happen. You had to know that.



Young man, I sell over $    

million a year worth of Geritol.



Geritol. That's the kind

of businessman I am.



That show, Twenty-One, cost me

$ -  /  million year in, year out.



Sales went up   %

when Van Doren was on.



Fifty percent.



So the very idea that I was

unaware of every detail or

aspect of that show's operation...



well, frankly, it's,

it's very insulting.



- So you knew.

- That's even more insulting.



- You had to know.

That's what you just said.

- It's not about what I know.



- It's about what you know.

- You don't know what I know.



- You know that Dan Enright

ran a crooked quiz show.

- Oh, he never informed you?



- Did he?

- Let's see what he says.



Dan? Look, Dan Enright wants

a future in television. Okay?



What you have to understand is that

the public has a very short memory.



But corporations,

they never forget.



He's not that stupid.

He knows he's through.



Oh, no. He'll be back. NBC's gonna

go on. Geritol's gonna go on.



It makes me wonder what you hope

to accomplish with all this.



Don't worry.

I'm just gettin' started.



But even the quiz shows'll be back.

Why fix them? Think about it, will ya?



You could do exactly the same thing

by just making the questions easier.



See, the audience didn't tune in

to watch some amazing display

of intellectual ability.



They just wanted to watch

the money.



Imagine if they

could watch you.



You're a bright young kid with a

bright future. Watch yourself out there.



I turned in my clubs

after that day.



-Just, no more.

- Well, you, you weren't too good...



when you were out on the links

with me that day.



I can't wait

to get you out there again.



- Stuck in that sand trap...

- No more. No more for me.

- for about an hour.



Would you, uh, state your name

and profession?



My name is Robert kintner.

I'm the President of the

National Broadcasting Company.



My name is Martin Rittenhome.

I run Pharmaceuticals Incorporated.



I take that responsibility

very seriously, Congressman.



Well, we immediately commenced

our own internal investigation.



...to ferret out this corruption

wherever it may exist.



Nobody brought the article in

Time magazine to your attention?



I was in Europe.

I didn't see it.



You didn't see it.

You were travelling.



I didn't see it.

I was travelling at the time.



You sure you never asked about

a particular contestant, or

about the ratings, nothing?



I never asked anything.

That was their department.



I relied on the excellent

reputation of Dan Enright.



Dan Enright was more in the nature

of an independent contractor.



Do you remember what you thought

when you found out?



Well, I was as shocked

as you are. I mean...



this was a terrible thing

to do to the American people.



I never,

never imagined...



they could perpetrate this

fraud on the American public.



I'd like to say one other thing.

I'd like to say one other thing.



I think all that money

should be returned.



Mr Goodwin,

any further questions?



No, sir. Thank you.

No further questions.



On behalf of the subcommittee,

I wish to thank you...



for your appearance

and your testimony here.



What's, what's going on?



Van Doren's

made a statement.



I look like the mark in a shill

game here, and you're starting

to look to me like the shill.



- Wait a minute, sir. If you can just--

- Shut up. I don't know

what I'm gonna do here.



When the hell is Van Doren comin' in

here? I don't see him on the schedule.



- He's not on the schedule.

- What?

- Wait a minute.



We discussed this. The contestants

are not the villains here.



We were only gonna bring in the ones

who would come in voluntarily.



All I know is, in the last hour

I've gotten over     telegrams

from people askin' me...



why I won't let poor Charles

Van Doren defend himself.



I got every woman in Arkadelphia

squealin' like a pig under a gate.



- And let me tell you somethin',

these women vote.

- Oh, I cannot believe this.



And where the hell is

Albert Freedman?



The marshall's are

bringing him back from Mexico.



- By what? By mule?

- Sir, please, just tell me

what it is that he said.



''Mr Van Doren made himself available

to members of the subcommittee staff.



He has advised them at no time

was he supplied with any

questions or any answers, was--''



That statement of yours

took me a bit by surprise.



I know, I know.

We had a deal.



I asked myself, ''Why would he

make a statement like that?



He knows

I'll come after him.''



But then

it occurred to me.



He knows

I'll come after him.



I can't decide if you think

too much of me or too little.



Charlie, I want to think

the best of ya.



Everyone does.



That's your curse.



- Did you bring a subpoena?

- Right here.






You know, I remember five,

six years ago my Uncle Harold...



told my aunt about

this affair he had.



It was a sort of mildly

upsetting event in my family.



- Mm-hmm. Mildly?

- Well, you have to put it in context.



See, the thing of it is, the affair

was over somethin' like eight years.



So, I remember askin' him, ''Well, why'd

you tell her? You got away with it.''



And I'll never forget

what he said.



It was the ''getting away with it''

part he couldn't live with.



I might take that chance.



A chance

is what I'm givin' ya.



Don Quixote is life.



I still don't see how, how this old guy

with a, with a, with a, uh, horse...



and a fat old sidekick

can think he's a knight.



It means, if you want to be a

knight, act like a knight. Okay.



Act like a knight?

You act like a knight.



I am a knight.



- I shall miss them.

- What is this? That

retirement business again?



That'd be like a snail

retiring from his shell.



I can't go on doing this forever.

It's for you now, Charlie.



So, what's the news? Did you

read Norman Mailer in Dissent?



I only glanced at it.

I haven't really had time.



Everyone's talking about it. Don't

know whether he's a genius or a fool.



Have you heard, Dad, there's this,

uh, congressional committee...



that's, um, well, they're

investigating the quiz shows?



Yeah, I read that.

What's it about exactly?



Well, evidently, a certain

of the contestants were given

the answers in advance.



Cheating on a quiz show, it's

like plagiarizing a comic strip.



Well, at any rate, it seems

the committee wants to call me

to, uh, uh, testify.



Oh, I've testified before.

Funding for the arts. It's nothing.



- I think this is a little different.

- You'll run circles round them.



It's not exactly Jefferson

and Lincoln down there any more.



I think this is

a little different, Dad.



I'd think you'd be glad

at a chance to clear your name.

Otherwise people might believe--



People will believe whatever they

want to believe. That's not the issue.



Just tell 'em the truth.

You'll do fine.



The real issue, Charlie, is how

this keeps distracting you

from your teaching.



- Oh, Dad, it's not--

- This and that programme

in the morning...



though you insist

that it doesn't.



Dad, I can't simply

just tell them the truth.



Can't tell them the truth?

Why on earth not?



It's, it's complicated.






Yeah, I can't. I ca--



Charlie, from what I understand,

it's just this bunch of frauds...



showing off an erudition

they didn't really have.



- All you have to do is--

- Actually, the problem is, Dad...



is it seems I was

one of those frauds.






Wha-- What do you mean?



They gave me

the answers.



They gave you the answers?

They gave you the answers?



Well, no, no. A-At first,

they just asked me questions...



they already knew

I knew the answers to.



We ran through those,

and I still didn't want them to

actually give me the answers...



so I had them give me the

questions, and I'd go look up...



the answers on my own,

as if that were any different.



Well, we, we ran through those

in a, a couple of weeks...



and then I just didn't have the time;

finally, it just seemed silly, so--



They gave you all that money to

answer questions they knew you

knew? Now, that's inflation.



- You're not being very helpful.

- I'm sorry, Charlie, it's--



I'm an old man. It's all a little

difficult for me to comprehend.



It's television, Dad. Uh, look,

it's, it's just, it's just television.



You make it sound like

you didn't have a choice.



What was I supposed to do at that point?

Disillusion the whole goddam country?



- Charlie, you took the money.

- Yes, I know! Yeah, I took the money!



- Is that what this was about?

- No. No, I-- No, I don't know. I--



- It was a goddam quiz show, Charlie!

- ''An ill-favoured thing, sir.



- This is not the time to play games.

- But mine own.'' It was mine.



Your name is mine!






I-I'm sorry.



I'm really sorry, Dad.



You'll be, um...



dragged into all this,

you and Mother.



Oh, my God, Charlie.



How are you gonna tell

that committee?



Will you

come down there with me?



The, uh, subcommittee

calls Charles Van Doren.



Charlie! Quit walkin', Charlie.

Charlie, right here.



Hey, Charlie! Please.

Quit walking. Charlie!



Charlie, wait. Here!



Mr Van Doren!



Hey! Over here! Over here!

Professor! Professor, wait.



Photographers will please

clear the room.



- Will you please state your name?

- Charles Van Doren.



- Hey, I've gotta get in there.

- I'm sorry, you can't.



- No, I've gotta get in there. I'm--

- Excuse me, sir.



- But my husband is sitting in there--

- Wait a minute! Wait a minute!



- Hey, you, come back here!

- Do you solemnly swear...



that the testimony you are

about to give will be the truth...



the whole truth, and nothing

but the truth, so help you God?



I do.



Now, we are advised that, uh,

you have a prepared statement...



that you would prefer to,

uh, give at the outset?



Yes, sir. Uh, might I first

have a glass of water?



Of course you may.



You may proceed.



''I would give

almost anything I have...



to reverse the course of

my life in the last year.



The past doesn't change

for anyone.



But at least I can learn

from the past.



I've learned a lot

about life.



I've learned a lot

about myself...



and about the responsibilities

any man has to his fellow men.



I have learned a lot about good

and evil. They're not always

what they appear to be.



I was involved...



deeply involved,

in a deception.



I have deceived

my friends...



and I had millions

of them.



I lied to

the American people.



I lied about

what I knew...



and then I lied about

what I did not know.



In a sense, I was like a child

who refuses to admit a fact

in the hope that it'll go away.



Of course,

it did not go away.



I was scared...



scared to death.



I had no solid position,

no basis to stand on for myself.



There was one way out,

and that was...



simply to tell the truth.



It may sound trite to you,

but I've found myself again

after a number of years.



I've been acting a role,




m-maybe all my life, of thinking

I've, I've done more...



a-accomplished more,

produced more than I have.



I've had all the breaks.



I have stood on the shoulders

of life, and I've never gotten

down into the dirt to build...



to erect a foundation

of my own.



I've flown too high

on borrowed wings.



Everything came

too easy.



That is why

I am here today.''



Mr Van Doren...



I want to compliment you

for that statement.



- Thank you, sir.

- Uh, Mr Van Doren...



I would like to join the Chairman

in commending you...



for the soul-searching fortitude

displayed in your statement.



Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.



Mr Van Doren,

I just want to add my kudos.



I have listened

to many witnesses...



in both civil and

criminal matters, and...



yours is the most soul-searching

confession I think I have heard

in a long time.



Thank you, sir.



Mr Van Doren,

I'm also from New York;



a different part

of New York.



I'm happy that you've made

the statement...



but I cannot agree

with most of my colleagues.



See, I don't think an adult of your

intelligence ought to be commended...



for simply, at long last,

telling the truth.



If the commit--

If the committee has nothing to add...



Mr Van Doren,

you are dismissed.



Excuse me. Charlie!



- Hey, hey, get outta there.

- Come on!

- Hey, hey, hey, Charlie!



- Over here! Charlie!

- Excuse me.

- Hey, Charlie!

- Charlie!



Let 'em out, boys.



The subcommittee

will come to order.



Our next witness will be

Mr Daniel Enright.



How 'bout it, Charlie?




Charlie, over here,




- Maybe they'll get you to agree--

- Charlie!



- Charlie, you're gonna have

to answer some questions.

- Okay. One at a time.



- One at a time.

- How do you feel, Charlie?

- Relieved.



...the truth, the whole truth, and

nothing but the truth, so help you God?



- I do.

- Who helped you write that statement?



Charlie, did you know

you've been fired by NBC?



- No, no. I didn't know that.

- Charlie, what do you have to say to...



- the young people of America?

- Professor, uh, are you, uh,

proud of your son?



- I've always been proud of Charlie.

- Are you proud of what he did?



The important thing now is for Charlie

to get back to his teaching.



Did you know that the Columbia

Trustees are meeting right now?



They're going to ask

for Charlie's resignation.



Professor Van Doren, you spent

your whole career at Columbia.

What's your reaction to that?



Professor Van Doren?



Dad, go ahead with Mother.

I'll meet you outside.



No reaction. Charles,

a few more questions, please.



Charlie, when did

you know--



Did the network or sponsor

bring pressure on you...



to, uh, bring the same

contestant back week after week?



- No, sir.

- Would, they, uh...



express any approval or disapproval

of any particular contestant?



Never. Not to me.



- Get to the answers.

- Were they aware that you

were supplyin'...



the contestants

with the answers?



No, sir. They had

no knowledge whatsoever.



Herb Stempel. Herb-- Herbie, how 'bout

a picture? You and Van Doren together.



No, not now.

Christ, look at the guy.



- C'mon, the both of ya.

- You know what the problem

with you bums is?



Y-Ya never leave a guy alone,

u-unless you're leavin' him alone.



- Who do you blame, Charlie?

- Professor? Professor,

right here, please.



- Do you feel the committee

treated you fairly?

- You gonna give back the money?



How'd the pressure up there

compare to Twenty-One?



So you freely admit that you

helped rig these shows?



- What else could we do?

- Hey, congratulations.



- For what?

- I'm a businessman.

- Van Doren.



- And the drama of--

- Hey, I thought we were

gonna get television.



The truth is,

television is gonna get us.



And you obviously don't think

you did anything wrong.



Yes, we did one thing wrong:

We were too successful.



You were too successful?



Those advertising dollars

came from somewhere.



Why do you think the newspapers

and magazines are making

such a big thing about this?



Mr Enright, you make it sound

like you are the victim here.



Well, the sponsor makes out,

the network makes out...



the contestants see money they probably

would never see in a lifetime...



and the public

is entertained.



So who gets hurt?



Mr Freedman,

you freely admit...



- that you helped rig these shows?

- Yes, sir.



''Yes, sir''?

That's it?



Well, sir, I don't know

what else to say.



Give the public what they want.

It's like your business.



Uh, do you see a, a need

for government regulation in this area?



You know, it's not like the quiz shows

are a public utility, sir.



It's entertainment.



We're not exactly

hardened criminals here.




we're in show business.



See the shark with



Teeth like razors



You can read his



Open face



And Macheath he's



Got a knife, but



Not in such an



Obvious place



On a beautiful



Blue Sunday



See a corpse



Stretched in the strand



See a man dodge



'Round the corner



Mackie's friends will






Mr Meier



Reported missing



Like so many



Wealthy men



Mack the Knife




His cash box



God alone knows



How or when



Jenny Towler



She turned up lately



With a knife stuck



Through her breast



While Macheath he



Walks the embankment









And the ghastly



Fire in Soho



Seven children



At a go



In the crowd stands



Mack the Knife, but



He isn't asked



He doesn't know



And the child-bride



In her nightgown



Whose assailant's



Still at large






In her slumbers



Mackie, how much



Did you charge



Yes, the child-bride



In her nightgown



Her assailant's



Still at large






In her slumbers



Mackie, how much



Did you charge



Mackie, how much

did you charge



How much did you charge



How much did you charge



How much did you charge



How much did you charge

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