Rugrats Go Wild Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Rugrats Go Wild script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Rugrats Go Wild. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Rugrats Go Wild Script



Wake up.



Come along, faithful viewers,



on our journey

through the drain forest



as we search

for that very unusable creature,



the three-toed sloth.



Ah, there he is!



Teething with life.



Let's get a closer look,

shall we?



Oh, no, you don't!



Cut! Cut!



Don't worry, Chuckie.



I'm Nigel Strawberry,

wild aminal expert.



And 'cause

I'm an eggsbert, I say,



everybody into the truck!



Go, go, go.



Jump Tommy, jump!



Say something, Nigel.



I can hear the tiger's

running feets,



see his sharp teeths,



and oh, oh...

I feel a cool breeze.






Not to worry, guys!



Oh, no! It's coming back!



But that was my onliest

cute toy!



Then feed him Phil.



I heard that.



That way! Through the swamp!



Nigel, why are we sinking?



Quitsand! I should

have knowed!



Guys, hang on to me!



What are you diaperbags

screaming about?



We're about to get eated



by that ferocious

Siferean tiger.



Were you pretending

to be Nigel Strawberry



again, Tommy?



Yeah. He's my hero,



and when I grow up,

I want to be just like him.




you're no Nigel Strawberry.



You're not even a Nigel...






You're never gonna have

real adventures.



You're just a backyard baby

with a diaper full of dreams.



Wow. She's mean.



Now, who wants to go look

for cookies under stuff?



I do!



Okay, come on.

Follow me.



The panthera onca,



commonly known as the jaguar,

seems determined



to feast on my nether regions.



But not to worry.



Well, faithful viewers,



our journey was

a smashing success.



Until next time,

this is Sir Nigel Thornberry



of Sir Nigel Thornberry's

Animal World.



Back! Back! Back!



Why, hello, Scout.



Boy, rest your eyes

for a second,



at old Thornberry's

gator bait.






Boy, that Sir Nigel gets

in some real scrapes



out there in the wild,

but he always manages



to wiggle out of trouble




Oh, and, Jonathan, don't think



that just because I'm on

a Luxury Lipschitz Cruise



in the South China Seas,



I won't be checking messages,



E-mailing, and carrier

pigeons on the hour.



Honey, I thought we were

going to leave work behind



for seven

fun-filled days.



Silly, it's

not all work.



I've signed up for

every spa treatment



culminating in

the Salem Retreat,



where you're pressed

between layers of hot rocks



and ripe cranberries.



Sounds bewitching.



But aren't we all

going to be busy



with our children?



Deed, that's

what the Kidsatorium is for.



Each morning

we drop off the pups



and head for

the All-Day Breakfast Buffet.



I hear they make a mean egg yolk omelet...






...dipped with five kinds

of sausage.






We signed up the kids



for "Pirate Play

and Pillage" class.



It teaches tolerance

for the peg-legged.



Well, I'm going to use

the whole seven kid-free days



to reshape my physique.



Could happen.



The Earth was created in six.



Everyone all set?



I think we all should thank

my husband Stu



for arranging this

wonderful getaway.



No. You can thank me



by having the time

of your lives.






Bienvenue! Willkommen!



Welcome aboard



the world-renowned

Dr. Lipschitz Cruise!



Stu must have taken Spike



for one last potty run.



I-I'm sure he'll be right back.



He better.



He's got all our tickets.



That sure is a nice cambera,




Thanks, Tommy.



My mommy got it for me



so she can see everything

she's missing.



How come

she and your daddy can't come



on the cruise with us?



Well, my mommy's getting

a special award



'cause she 'scovered

a new disease,



and my daddy's cutting

the ribbon



at the Dummi Bear Theme Park




But I wanted to come

with you guys.



And we're



so glad you did,

Susie Carmichael.



Now, here!



Hold the spotlight

on Lounge Singer Cynthia.



Dresses and shoes

are the only things



That I'll share...



That's my rules.



Oh! I wonder if it's too late



to call my mommy.



Hey, The ship's sailing

without us!






Isn't that our ship?









Ahoy, mates!



Captain Stu at your service!



Climb aboard for seven



fun-filled days

on the S.S. Nancy.



No fancy packaged tour.



Just the thrill



of the open sea,

the smell of the salt air,



and the joy

of close friends



and family.



Drew, hold the shoes.



I'm Queen of the World!



Oh, isn't this a great vacation,




As long as



the "Queen" doesn't sing...



I'm happy.



And the bestest part is,

we're all togethers.



Ah! This is

just like my bathie.



Only there's no

rubber ducky, and...



I'm not nakie.



There's a ducky.



Well, okay.



Time to get nakie.









I can't believe



you did this without

consulting us, Stu.



Look at poor Kira.



This was supposed

to be our honeymoon.



Sorry, Chas.



And here I was hoping

you'd be my first mate.



Me? Really?



Snap out of it, Gilligan.



At the next port,



we're getting off

this rinky-dink tub,



and getting

on the Lipschitz Cruise.



Don't you see?



If we were



on a cruise right now,

we wouldn't be together.



We'd be split up

between the pools, the spas,



and the mile-long buffets.



We're missing

Canadian Bacon Tuesday!



Oh, can't this bait

trap go any faster?









Is anybody there?



Welcome passengers

to what I like to call



"The Voyage of Your Lifetime!"



Everybody, I'm getting a signal.



It's from the Lipschitz Cruise.



Oh, quick, let

me talk to them.



Mom, are you there?



We're having a little trouble

with the wild child.



Sounds like

a disgruntled passenger.



Oh! Hello, Lipschitz.

Charlotte Pickles here.



Could you send a rescue boat

right away?



We're the squalid little boat

in the middle of the ocean.






My muscles are atrophying

as we speak.



Well, we paid

for spa treatments,



and I'm not missing one!



Hey, we're getting a signal




Oh, Dr. Lipschitz,

can you help us?



My wife really needs

to see the ship's doctor.



Huh? Hang on a sec, Mom.



I'm picking up some

lame-o soap opera.



What is it this time, Debbie?






I made everyone dinner,



so I shouldn't have

to clean up, too,






Mom, all she did was hand us

a jar of peanut butter.



Uh, can we talk about this

when your father and I get home?



Yeah. Any E.T.A. on that?



'Cause you've been gone

since, like, yesterday.



We're still looking

for the leopard at...



Oh, Nigel!



Over there!

What's that?



That's... I see spots!






Watch out for that

limb, dearest.



Here, neofelis nebulosa,



come to Papa.



Hello? I was talking here!



Oh, I'm sorry, Debbie.



Now you're on your own

for dinner tonight.



You know, normal




eat dinner together

once in a while.



Marianne, perhaps

I can lure out the leopard



by imitating its mating call.



Okay, so we're not normal.



But as a teen,

I reserve the right



to alternately reject

and embrace my parental units.



Consider us embraced.



Now, keep an eye on Donnie.



It's going to rain,



and you know how he likes mud.



Over and out.



She totally hung up on me.



And I was having

a sensitive moment.



Debbie, you are

so self-centered.



I am not!



Okay, what's the monkey saying

about me?






Oh, that's great.



Oh, it's fine!



Come on, pups,



get underneath.

Come on.



Come on, move it, move it,

move it! Down below!






Captain Stu,



I can't hold

the wheel.



Will you stop calling

him captain?



He has no idea

what he's doing!



I do so!



Does anybody know

where the brakes are



on this thing?



Jonathan, why aren't you

answering the phone?



I need you to divert

a tropical storm.



It's a   -foot wall

of water.



We're going to need

a bigger boat.



Everyone get below!



Phone overboard!



Phone overboard!



Charlotte, forget the phone!






Well, this is how we came in...






Oh, babies!



Oh, Kimi.



Chuckie, hold on to me.



Why didn't

anybody stop me?



Out of my way!



Where you going?



No, Charlotte!



Charlotte, don't.

I-It's a rental.



Come on!



Right behind you,




If you like to make a call,

please hang up and try again.



If you need help, hang up...



You're safe!



I got it!



Dil's binky!



Oh, Betty,

thank you.



I thought this might

come in handy, too.



Abandon ship!



I can't help feeling

partially responsible.



There's got to be

a morning after



If we can hold on

through the night...



I know we can.



We have a chance

to find the sunshine...



Come on!



Let's keep on looking

for the light






Here, boy!






Come over here, Spike.



Cynthia overboard!



Cynthia! No!



No, no, no, no.



-No, no, no, no.

-There, there, Princess.



We've all lost

something today.



Why, I lost my cell phone

with     free minutes,



and Daddy lost

his favorite sun visor,



and Uncle Stu lost

all our respect.






You guys, wake up!



We're at the bacation place.



Ah, that was a good nappie.



It was just like when Mommy



used to rock us to beddie-bye.



Well, I likes a bed

that doesn't move.



Land ho!



Land ho!



I'll never set foot

on water again!



Where are we?



Oh, isn't it obvious?



The palm trees, the white sand,



the crystal blue water...



Why, we've landed

on an island resort.



Place looks pretty deserted.



Oh, Betty.



The best ones always are.



Just look for a cabana boy

carrying towels.






I could use a double espresso,





-Don't worry,



I've got a map.



We'll figure this out.



We left here. We capsized here.



I know exactly where we are.



See? We're on this

tiny little island called...






You mean we're

the only people here?



Well, we'll just have

to get back in the boat



and row to another island.



One with coffee.



Drew, the lifeboat's gone!




-Where'd it go?



Look, it's way out there.



Wait, ho, ho, oh, great.



We're marooned?



With no food?



How soon before we all

turn cannibal?



I have to get

out of here!



So, "Swiss Family DeVille"

he's not.



Good morning, poodles!



We were up all night



Iooking for that leopard.



Debbie, they're here!



Ta da!



Homemade coconut muffins

and fresh herbal tea.



Debbie, this

is so sweet.



Oh, and these

look heavenly.



Afraid we must

eat and run.






Ooh, really

delicious, honey.



But you guys

just got here!



I know, but the Foundation



is expecting that

footage today,



and we still

haven't got it.



Nigel, I think

we should split up.






I thought we

were so happy.






You mean to look



for the leopard,

don't you?



I can't believe this!



You're always working.



When's the last time

we took a vacation?



But, Debbie, we travel

all over the world.



I want a family vacation.



You know, where we fight over

the bar of hotel soap.



And Debbie hogs

all the good towels?



And we order

room service.



And we do dorky family




Yes! Dorky sounds

really good right now.



Well, girls, I'm sorry.



I didn't realize

you felt this strongly.



I promise, as soon

as we find the leopard,



we'll do dorky

family activities.



It's settled then.



-You're leaving, too?




Fine, go.



I was just going to hang out

on the beach today anyway.



Debbie, are you forgetting

that I talk to animals?



Sadly, no. Your point?



I'm going to find out where

that leopard is so we can leave,



and maybe we'll

really take a vacation.



Come on, Darwin.



Darwin's staying here.



See ya.






I did not slave

over a hot oven



to feed the birds!



When I write about my life--



and I will--



I will not be kind.



Okeydoke, kids.



You play here,

while the mommies and daddies



try to ward off

the specter of doom.



Babies, listen up.



We're stucked

on a topical island



that don't gots

no people on it.



But we're here, Angelica.



I mean people who matter.



And we gots no food.



And no cookies!



You don't know what

you're talking about,






Oh, yeah?



I saw a movie 'bout it once.



These little kids

were all alone



on an island till

they growed up



and turned wild.



The boy grew a beard

down to his feet,



and they had to wear rags

for clothes.



That's not the worstest part.



This isn't like



Our park back home



With slides and pools

and swings



It's a creepy little island



With great big scary things



Where mutant lobsters

crawl around



Chomping on little kids



And water wings can't save you



From the slimy,

squishy squids



That's why you need



A princess--

someone beautiful, hmm?



Like me-- to save you

from the scary claws



That grab you from the tree



So if you don't wanna

end up



Being mutant lobster food



The keep your Island Princess



In a really happy mood



That means

no blowing bubbles



That means no making smells



That means no bugging me



To wear my royal shells, ha!



Just do the things

I tell you



Like bow when I walk by



Listen when I speak to you



But don't look me in the eye



You're not

some lsland Princess



There's not a squishy squid



There are no mutant lobsters



That would ever eat a kid



Don't listen to her stories



She always misbehaves



She's trying to scare

you babies



Into being lsland Slaves



Why do you always have to be

so good and nice and cheeky?



Just face the facts



That I'm this

lsland Princess Angeli-tiki



So if you don't wanna end up

being mutant lobster food



Then keep

your lsland Princess



In a really happy mood



Keep your lsland Princess



In a really happy mood.



Y eah!



It's obvious.



The first thing to do



is make a signal fire.



You know what else

is obvious?



You're an idiot.



We have to find

something to eat.



All I saved was a couple jars



of baby food.



I never knew

strained peas and apricots



went so well together.



Oh, you ate

the baby food?!



Babies don't need food.



I have to keep my strength up



for when you try to throw

me into the soup pot!



He's delusional.



This is all your fault!



My fault?



Whose idea was the

Stu Cruise to Doom?



Oh, I would expect that



from the Finsters

or the DeVilles,



but Charlotte!



I knew

this day was coming



since you were in diapers!



I should have never left Paris!



This is the Circle of Chaos.



If we're going to survive

on this island,



we can't ever step foot

in the Circle of Chaos.



Wow. I feel

calmer already.



We don't know when

we'll get off this island.



Until we do,

we're gonna need order.



First thing we need is a leader.



Any volunteers?



Stu, put down your hand.



I nominate Betty.



I accept.



All in favor of me,

raise your hand.



Hold on.



You're all going

to blindly follow Betty



just because

she drew a circle in the sand?






Thank you.



As my first duty



as your rightfully



elected leader,

I'm assigning Stu to baby watch.



The rest of

yous, follow me.



Geez, all I wanted to do

was have a little adventure.



Now everyone and their brother

is blaming me for this mess.



Angelica, are the growed-

ups mad at my daddy?



That's a blunderstatement.



He's in big trouble.



It's cause of him we're going

to have to live here forever.



Maybe we can help.



You babies are

gonna help?



You can't keep

your fingers



out of your nose.



We gots to try, Angelica.



Guys, up that hill.



I think it's the drainforest,



just like we sawed

on Nigel Strawberry's TV show!



Does that mean

Nigel Strawberry's here?



What makes you think

that big-nosed nature guy's



on this dinky island?



Because that's the lastest place

we sawed him.



He was getting eated

by a crocogator.






Nice knowing you, Chuckie.






I bet if we go in there,

we'll find Nigel Strawberry.



He can help us get home!



And no one would be mad

at your daddy no more!



And I wouldn't have to share

the waffle I gots in my diapie.






Uh, if I had a waffle

in my diapie.



See you, Angelica.



Hey, get back here.



You babies better

listen to me,



or else!



Or else...



I'm going to build a signal fire



that will have us

off this island in no time.



Uh, let's see.



Gum, my special

"writes-upside-down" pen



and disposable razor.



Great. I can chew, shave,

and write about it.



On my head.



I can't believe it, Cynthia.



Those babies always

do whatever I say!



What's all this junk?



It's not junk, Angelica.



These everyday items can be used



to make a lot of things.



That's it!



I'll build a radio

and send a distress signal!



Angelica, keep an eye on

the babies for me, okay?



I'm supposed to baby-sit

those half-pipes?



That's dog's work!



Spike! Wake up!



Watch the babies.



I got

important things to do,



Iike find someone

to be my royal subjects.



Now, go!



Cynthia, this vacation stinks!



I've been walking forever,



and no one's come along

to carry me yet!



Hey, that bird's got a cupcake!



Drop it, beak-head!






There's got to be someone

around here I can boss.



Ew! Ah...!



Listen up, monkey.



All that chimp chatter

really bugs.



Just hand over those munchies

and keep painting.



Wow! She's got that monkey



waiting on her hoof and mouth.



Cynthia, I could learn

a lot from that girl.



Excuse me, Miss Bossy Lady?



Pipe down, monkey.



Hey, lady!



Who's calling me a lady?



I'm a teen!



Where did you

come from?



This is supposed to be

a deserted island.



I'm Angeli-tiki,

the island princess.



And I'm thirsty.



And I lost my touch

for being bossy,



so you got to teach me.



No ice cubes

next time.



There's the drainforest, guys!



Bet we'll find Nigel Strawberry

down there.



Now you're talking, Tommy!



Wait up! Wait for me!



This place is different

than our own backyard



I hope we haven't gone too far



We're somewheres new

and we haven't a clue



I just saw that butterflly

turn blue



This is a strange

and mysterious place



With lots of yummy buggies

for us to chase



We're walking

and we don't know where




it's a jungle out here



This place is really neat



Lots of wormies for us to eat



Lots of furry things

everywhere you stare



Feels like I got some

in my underwear



Monkeys swinging all around



I wonder if we're ever going

to get found



We're having lots of fun,

hey, look over there...



Whoopie! Oh, boy! Yay!



Great big snake

hanging from a tree



I hopes that it

don't eat up me



Fat green lizard

looking me in the eye



I sure am glad

that I'm not that fly



Prettiful birdies

singing a song, tweet tweet



I hope we don't stay here

for long



We gots a job to do,

and we're headed up there



Look sharp,

it's a jungle out here



We gots a job to do,

and we're headed up there




it's a jungle out here.



Wow! It's got a gazillion feets.



Well, down the hatch.



Philip, no!



Oh, sorry.



Want a bite?



No! I don't think

we should eat bugs



no more.



That's crazy talk, Lil.



We've been raised on bugs.



I know it, Philip,



but that's afore I sawed

that poor fly



get eated

by that big mean ol' flower.



Now, you let him go!



If I knowed the last bug I eated

would be the last bug I eated,



I would've

eated it slower.



Look! Growed-up feetprints!



I bet

they're Nigel Strawberry's!



Let's go!



You know, it's lots easier going

potty in the drainforest



than at home.



And you don't have to worry



'bout getting any on the floor

or the walls or anything.



Guys? Uh...



Wait up!



Uh, uh, guys?



Excuse me, I'm looking

for a clouded leopard.



Have you seen any around?



Sure. There's

one at the...






You'll never believe

what I just saw!



There's a little girl at camp,

and she's a miniature Debbie!



In every way.



She's bossy, she's loud...



she's hideous!



Darwin, look!



A dog?



What's he doing here?



Oh, spreading his fleas

on an unsuspecting world.



Come on.



Hey, hey, hey.



Could you give a dog

a little warning?



I'm trying

to do my business here.



Oh, I'm so sorry.



You know, it's funny.



For a minute there



I thought I actually heard you

talking to me.



You talking to me?



Are you talking to me?



Yeah, I can talk

to animals.



It's a long story.



Should we come back?



Ah, no problem; I'm done.



I was just marking.



Spike was here!



Uh, sorry. I know...

Where are my manners?



I am Spike.



Full name: Down Spike! Down!

Get Off That Couch!



I'm Eliza,



and this is Darwin.



Spike was here, too.



Wow! I've been sneezing all day.



My sniffer's on the blink.



I can't even smell my own butt.



And let me tell you,



I've tried.







what are you doing here?



Well... I'm...



To be honest with you,

I'm looking for my babies.



You lost your babies?



Probably too busy

drinking from the toilet.



I was not! I

was sleeping.



That was my

second guess.



Hey, hey, smart boy,

you don't get it, okay?



This is how it works.



Usually they wander off,

I find them, no problem.



But I can't smell.



I might as well

not even call myself a dog.



Don't worry,






We'll help you find them.



And I won't tell anyone

you lost them.



Really? You really

will help me find them?



Thank you!

That is so nice.



Wow, you taste pretty good.






Tommy? Phil? Lil?









I knew we shoulda stayed

at the beach.



This is the way

we wash our clothes



Wash our clothes,

wash our clothes



This is the way

we wash our clothes



So early in the morning.









This is not funny!



Oh, you're just my 'flection!



How ya doin', Chuckie?



Uh, my 'flection

never talked back!



I been ascared

of lots of stuff 'afore,



but I never been ascared

of me!



Hey! Where'd it go?



Um, Chuckie?



That's not very nice.



From now on,



I'm not gonna make funny faces

with you no mores!



Hey! Who's throwing stuff?



My shorts feel kinda big...



Aah! Who took my shoeses?






My big-boy pants

aren't 'posed to do this!






I don't even look

like Chuckie no mores.






No! We don't do that no mores!



Aw, just one little wormie, Lil!



Don't you 'member

how good they used to taste?



How they tickled

on the way down?



No, I don't!



I told you I'm

a vegebelatarian now.



We don't eat bugs.

We pet 'em.



I don't knows you

anymore, Lil.



Do you...



do you still like

to eat mud?



Not if it has a face.



But you're my twin!



Who's gonna 'splain

Mommy's jokes to me



or-or help me plant my booger farm?



And who's gonna tell me

when my feet smell?



Okay, Dil.



Do your stuff.



Eeew! Tinky!



Guys, I haven't seen Chuckie

for a long time.



We better go back.



You know how scared

Chuckie is of being losted.






Is everything okay, Chuckie?



When did Chuckie

start talking backwards?



Not a hair,



not a paw print,



not even a dropping!



Must keep my chin up.



I'll find that cat



or my name's not

Nigel Archibald Thornberry.



I'll find that big-nosed

nature guy,



or my name's not Tommy

Awfully Bald Pickles!






Is that you?



Look, it's Nigel Strawberry!



We founded him!



Great Goodall,

a gaggle of babies!






Stay right there!



I'm coming down!



Not the way I intended.



Heavens, what a fall.



I must get to those babies.



Are you okay,

Mr. Strawberry?



She called me "mister!"



Silly Billy.



I'm only this many years old!



Do any of you remember



where I left my tricycle?



That's one old three-year-old.



Uh, no, Mr. Strawberry.



We're shipwrecked

on this island.



We was hoping you could

help Tommy's daddy.



Watch what I can do.









I think Nigel Strawberry's

acting kinda funny.



Maybe he's

got diapie rash.



Oh, yeah!



Wee! Wee!



Did you catch

a whiff of anything yet?



It's, look, it-it-it,

it's kind of a damp smell



that's a cross between

sour milk and poop.







actually I kind of like it.



Sorry, Spike,



but everything smells

pretty much the same to me.



Ha! Humans.



How do you live?



And who put

the "poo" in pooch?






Okay, there you go.

Look at yourself now.



All right, you got

a little dog pee on you.



Oh, my gosh! You're the..



I am Siri,

the clouded leopard.



I'm Spike,

the purebred mutt!



See these claws?



Sniff my butt!






why'd you say that?



I was being social.



Of course,

a simple handshake wouldn't do.



Hey, twitchy, I do not

shake with cats, okay?



Now... a small

chimp for breakfast,



a mutt for lunch,



and a sensible girl

for dinner.



Hey, chimpboy,

will you stop worrying?



I know all about cats



with a capital K.



Sit on a windowsill,

hack up a fur ball.




that's very ferocious.



Spike, this isn't

your regular house cat.



They all twitch

their whiskers



one whisker at a time,

just like you and me.



Don't go and be fooled



By those fancy pants



It's just

her feline arrogance



Flaunting their collars

with tinkly bells



She thinks her litter box

don't smell



Whoa, hey,

who cut the cheese?



Was that you, baby?



You may want

to reexamine your diet.



Can the old

canine philosophies



Why don't you just go

and tend to your fleas



Don't push me, mutt



I'm just not in the mood



You're one swipe away

from becoming cat food



Don't go and be fooled

by this crazy cat



Don't go and listen

to his crazy facts



Not gonna tell you twice,

you better watch your back



Don't go and be fooled



The big bad cat's

a fur-ball-hacking



Rodent-snacking act



That's right, an act.



You're just a pussycat.



You think you're tough?



I dare you, Spike,

to call my bluff



You're a very scawy puddytat.



You're one swipe away

from becoming toast



Eliza, get my doggy bag.

I'm about to catch a snack.



We can settle this right now,

right here--



mano a mano, dogo a cato.




That has gotta hurt--



falling off a cliff

into a sticker bush.



Not gonna tell you twice,

you better watch your back



Oh! Here I am. Come get me.



You think I'm afraid

of your claws?






Bombs away, ladies.



Come on, me and you.

Come on, let's go right now.



I'll rip

that fur coat off ya



and wear it,



and all my dog friends

will be going,



"Spike, where did you get

that skanky cat coat?"



You hear what I'm saying, Red?



I thought cats

didn't like water.



But frankly, Eliza,



she did need a bath...

Come on, come on.



Oh! Whoa!



Aw, what happened?






I'm outta here,

I gotta go find my babies.



Helpless offspring?



Yeah! Yeah!

That's it. That's it.



Have you seen 'em?

Little ones, walk on two feet?



Last time I saw 'em,

they were on the beach.






stumbling, actually.



Two feet?



Yeah, they're

my human babies.



I thought we were

looking for puppies!



No, no. My pups

are home with the wife.



She can't travel.



Delicate stomach.



Me, I could eat anything--



shoes, furniture, pencils



with the little erasers.



I ate one of Chuckie's

diapers one time




-and let me tell you...




-that is spicy.



Spike! We have to find those

babies before Siri does!



Come on!



When will I think

before I bark?



Spike, is that you?



Tommy? Kimi?






Oh, no, not monkeys!



Hey, they're chasing

that little one!



That's not very nice.



Now, you big monkeys

go 'way.



You was little monkeys

yourselfs once...



um... probably.



So just go away and leave

this little monkey 'lone.



Shoo! Shoo!






Wow! I saveded someone

'stead of someone saving me.



I must be a wild boy now.












Oh, my dogness!



What if I never feel

their sticky jammy fingers



poking in my ears again?



What if I never find a floating

diaper in my doggie bowl?



What if...



Spike! Snap out of it!



Right, right, right, right.



Not helping. Not helping.



Focus, focus, Spike.



What does "focus" mean?



Right, right.



But who's going

to sneak me donuts?



Come on, we're almost there.



These are much better



than the cookies we gots

back at the grass hut,



and I don't have to share

with no dumb babies.



I mean, um,

dumb baby savages.



Tell me about it.



I have to share with a pigtailed weirdo,



a jungle freak,

and a monkey in a tank top.



Uh, refill.



Why do I have to get it?



You said you

wanted to learn



how to be

bossy, right?



This is how

you learn.



Extra ice, two straws.



I would trade the monkey

for her any day.



Debbie, come in. Over.



Hey, Mom, how's it going?



It's not going at all.



Have you heard from your father?



No, but get this, Mom.



Tell me later, honey.

Be back soon.



Angeli-tiki is nobody's lackey.



Hey, lady!



What's that

bubble thing?



A bathysphere.



It goes underwater.



You know,

like a submarine.



Getting thirsty here!



That girl's

even bossier than me.



Those dumb babies



are practically

on top of a mountain,



and I'm gonna be blamed!



I gotta go home

and pretend I'm innocent.



Um, Debbie?



I just 'membered.



I was supposed to be home for,

uh, the lsland Sacrifice.



Okay, my mom will drive you

when she gets here.



But I have to go now.



I'm the princess.



Who do you think's

going to throw in the goat?



Oh, it's a native thing.



Oh, Mom will understand.



But I am not waiting around

to watch the goat bite it.



Is that a CD player?



Yeah, only the best.



You know an awful lot

for an "island girl."



Um, well, see, a TV

washed up on the beach once



and the island king

made the whole tribe watch it.






I love this song!



Hey, me, too.






Darling you've got

to let me know



Should I stay or should I go



If you say that you are mine



I'll be here

till the end of time



So you've got to let me know



Should I stay or should I go?



Y ow!



It's always tease...












Debbie, there's a bunch of

a babies lost around here,



and the leopard's after them!



I didn't know there was

a leopard out there.



I'm gonna be



in big trouble.



Get back here and

put your seat belt on.



C'mon, Cynthia.

We're taking a ride!






Oh, man.



Twinkle, twinkle



Little star...



Debbie, what happened?



I was taking care of this

island princess and...



What's she doing

in the bathysphere?



I didn't say



I was taking care

of her well.



Where are the lights

on this thing?



I'm a kangaroo.



Hoppity, hoppity, hop.



I'm a froggie,



and I'm frogging.



All this hopping

is making my diapie creep.






Now I'm

a giant kitty cat,



with lots



of pointy toothies!



Don't worry, guys.



Nigel Strawberry plays with

wild aminals all the time.



He'll get us

out of this scrape.



Does kitty want a mousie?



Does kitty want to dress up

in dolly clothes and take a ride



in Nanny's pram?



Kitty gave me a boo-boo.



Nice kitty.



Chuckie, be careful!



He's so brave.



Or dumb.



Hey, I been looking

all over for you.



I don't like being half nakie.



I want my clothses back.



Hey, I got sticks in my hair!



I gots no shoeses!



Oh, ouch, my feet!



That's better.



Now I can see.






Look, Mumsy, I'm a whale.



You sure he can

really help us, Tommy?



Of course, Susie.



He's Nigel Strawberry.



He's, um, the bestest

nature 'splorer ever.



Or... I thought he was.



Guess we're stucked here

till somebody finds us.



Who's going to find us in here?



I know what'll cheer



everybody up.



A nice waffle.



It's kind of crusty.



You sure you don't gots

any mable syrup in there?




But I got some ketchup.



Watch this one.



What 'dat?



What 'dat?!



Maybe TV people are only

good at doing stuffs on TV.



Well, I guess we'll be living

on this island from now on.



That means...



I might not see my family

again for a long time.



Uh, you gonna eat

that waffle?



Shh, Phillip. Susie's sad.



I'm sad, too.



I want my mommy and daddy.



Me, too.



I'm sorry, guys.



I never shoulda

broughted you here.



Angelica was right.



I am just a backyard baby

with a diapie full of dreams.



No, you're not.



Tommy, you took us through

the drainforest all by yourself!



And led us up

the side of the mountain.



And you founded

Nigel Strawberry.



And you saved me from

the giant kitty cat.



Oh, you got lots more



than dreams

in your diapie, Tommy.



Thanks, guys.



That's the nicest stuff

anyone's ever said.



So, hey, even though

we're stucked in a cave



and there isn't any boat

and we can't swim,



I still promise

to get you out of here!



It's like my hero Nigel

Strawberry always says...



The Martians

have landed!



Um, no.



I was thinking

'bout when he says,



"Don't give up hope,



fateful viewers!"



Ahoy, babies!



Now who's your princess?



Yay! Let's go!



We're saved!



Drew, there's no longer

a ringing in my ears



from constant

cell-phone usage.



Oh, isn't this paradise?



Sure is, honey!



Whoa! Honey!



Didi, you think

this is done?



I've never cooked a fish

with its head still on.



Well, let me see.



Does it flake




My fish!



Who's that

little cannibal boy?



Those look an awful lot



Iike Chuckie's




You ate the fish and Chuckie!



Come on, guys!



After him!






Hey, whoa-oh...



He's getting away!



Well, it's not a

clouded leopard,



but at least I'll have film

of something.









This is supposed to be

a deserted island.



Oh, thank heavens!



We're part of an elaborate

television stunt



designed to humiliate us.



Who are you?



Hold it.



My name is Marianne Thornberry.



From the nature show?



We're shipwrecked.



Can you help us, Marianne?



Of course. Our

camp is nearby.



Debbie, come in.



Oh, Mom. What's up?



I need you to

bring the Comvee



over to the east beach.



Uh, that may be a problem.



Don't worry about

cleaning up.



Oh, thanks,

but that's not the problem.



Just get here. Now.



My daughter will bring

our trailer



and my husband

will be along soon and...



Behold, fellow islanders!



I, Stu Pickles,

have built us a radio!



Stu, who's watching the kids?



Oh, Angelica said she'd take

care of them.






Oh, this is very strange.



I feel like this

has happened before.



Look at them...



chasing their own tails.



If only I could tell them

that it doesn't work.



I know, I've done it.



I've chased my tail

a million times.



It does not work.



It's getting a signal!



I'm very impressed.



Oh, Stu's an inventor.



Runs an ad in the shop-and-buy.



Girls, have you seen

some children?



Just a bossy  -year-old



who has delusions

of being a princess.




-I'm the boss



-of this bathie thing.

-That's her!



We haven't moved a bit,




That's Susie.



She must have turned on

the radio in the bathysphere.



A  -year-old's driving

the bathysphere?!



What the heck?



Hey, it's no problem.



We can track them by

radar from the Comvee.



Uh... yeah. Except...



I sunk the Comvee.



You what?!



I'm beginning to think you

tooked this scrubmarine



without permission,




Oh, you think you're such

a know-it-all, Carmichael.



Now, here's the right button.



You need this to drive.






Now, here's

the other right button.



Oh, I can't get a signal.



We've got to try to reach them

on your coconut.



Uh-uh, Carmichael.



Hello. Calling Angelica.



She really did give me

cream soda.



Angelica, Susie.

Can you hear me?



You didn't have permission,







Stop fighting this instant

and listen to your father!






Sorry, Mommy.



Our mommies and daddies!



Daddy, tell Susie

to stop bothering me



while I'm trying to drive

a scrubmarine!



Give me that, Angelica.






What's this?



A new toy?






I'm the happiest lad

in all of England!



Listen, Angeli-tiki.

It's me, Debbie.



Let me talk to my Dad.



Hey, mister!



Stop eating those smelly

fish and talk to the teen.



This little fishie

goes to market.






This little fishie stays home.



Great. Dad finally lost it.



Something's wrong with Nigel.



Girls, this is Mrs.Thornberry.



Do you see a red handle?



I see it!



I need you to push that up.



That will bring you

up to the surface.




don't touch that!



Oh, no, Nigel Strawberry!



This calls

for my 'mergency bottle.



Hello there.



Well, what have we here?



Who are all you positively

adorable children?






We're shipwrecked.



We went all over the island

looking for you.



I saved them,

but then Carmichael



tried to drive this

tub-boat and now...



We just want to go home.



Well, of course

you do, young lady.



And so we shall.



Hmm. Bit of a pickle.



No fuel left.



The radar appears

to be knocked out,



which means I have

no idea where we are



and we're almost

out of oxygen.



I'm bored.



Yes, and there's that, too.



Angeli-tiki, come in!



What's going on down there?!






Is that you?



Dad! You're back to normal!



Well, Dad-normal anyway.



Oh, Nigel,

thank goodness you're all right.



Can you bring her

to the surface?



Impossible at the moment,




You'll have to engage



the automatic-retrieval system

in the Comvee.



And I don't want

to alarm anyone,



but we're a tad low

on oxygen down here.



Copy that.



We'll get you as soon as we can.



Over and out.



Okay, we have to raise

the Comvee.



No go.



The pump's destroyed



and there's a huge

rip in the pontoon.



What, it's ripped?



Hang on.



The professor's getting

an idea.



How about a little song

to lift our spirits?



Old MacDonald had a farm






And on his farm

he had a ring-tailed lemur






With a guttural roar here



And a throaty rumble




Okay, here's the plan.



We'll transfer force from

the bi-pedal energy generator.



to the dual reduction chamber.



The resulting compressed

atmospheric matrix



will transverse the tubular

transport mechanisms,



which you gentlemen will connect

to the deflated pontoon.



This will increase

the displacement coefficient



of the Comvee and it will rise



aided by a fulcrum-driven

counter balance



weighted with coconuts.



Let's do it!



It's perfect, but...



how are we going to inflate

a pontoon with a hole in it?



Oh, no.



What do we do now?



What's going on?



We can't raise

the Comvee.



We need something

to patch it.






There's a rafty thingy

out there.



Can we use that?



It's perfect!



She found your boat, Spike.



They can use it to

patch the Comvee.



I'll get it!



Spike, no!



The waves are too big!



Hey, this is Spike

you're talking to.



I've paddled my way to more

tennis balls than I can count!



If I could count.



But I'm afraid

you won't make it!



Sure I will!



And if I don't,

well, no one's going to say



that ol' Down Spike

didn't try his best.



You only go around once

in this crazy, mixed-up life.



Well, not cats.



They get nine lives



while dogs have to cram

seven years into one.



Now that bites!



That a boy, Spike.



Good boy, Spike.



Look! It's Spike!



Ooh, nice save, dog.



Good boy, Spike.



But what are we going

to use for glue?



I'll take care of it.



That gum won't stay

sticky for long.




-Let's go.






Don't worry, Mom.



I'm on it.



Got it!






It's working!



And on his farm



He had a oceanospirillum







Can we go home now,

Mr. Strawberry?



We've got 'em!



Now let's reel 'em in.






is everybody okay down there?



Excellent, dearest.



Well, one little girl is

rather pouty



and somebody needs a diaper

change-- I won't say whom.






Why, it's the architeuthis,



commonly known

as the giant squid.



Isn't she magnificent?



If only I had a camera...




Mr. Strawberry...



   feet long



and two tons of boneless flesh.



Oh, your picture



didn't come out.



Well, that's probably

as it should be.



You see, children,

the giant squid



has never been seen alive




I suppose this marvel of nature

will be our little secret.



What do you say?



Couldn't have said it

better myself.



Here I am!













Where's Tommy?



And who does this little chap

belong to?



He's ours.



Come here, champ.






I'd like you

to meet Stu Pickles.



He made the coconut radio

that saved your lives.



Terribly grateful,

Mr. Pickles.



I have a feeling

I wouldn't be here



without this

little chap, either.






You might grow up



to be just like

Nigel Strawberry after all.



Thanks, Angelica.



But I think I'll grow up

to be just like my daddy.



Well, bro, I got

to hand it to you...



I'm so proud of you, Stu.



Oh, Nigel,

I was so worried.



I confess, I was, too.



I hated the thought

of our last family meal



being shortchanged because

we had to go find a leopard.



Your father's right.



We lost sight

of what's important--



spending time together.



Okay, everyone.



Let's pack up.



We're going on vacation!



How about...



The Lipschitz Cruise!



We're leaving to go on vacation.



Oh, yeah, right on.






Well, Eliza,

as dog is my witness,



I'll never lose my babies again!




Special help by SergeiK