Running Scared Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Running Scared script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Running Scared. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Running Scared Script



("Running Scared" by Fee Waybill)



Shadows chasin' time



Chances slippin' by



Thinkin' about what's right and wrong



- Whoo

- Beyond the light of day



There's no denyin'



- One step is all it takes

- And you'll be playin'



You've gotta trust your heart

when nothing's right



And never let 'em know

you're runnin' scared inside



You can chase that dream

a thousand miles



As soon as you believe it

you can make it to the end of the line



There's no more runnin' scared



It's time to roll the dice



And cut right through the ice



Forget about the price we pay



- And I'll tell you

- By the light of day



There's no denyin'



- One step is all it takes

- And you'll be playin'



You've gotta trust your heart

when nothing's right



And never let 'em know

you're runnin' scared inside



You can chase that dream

a thousand miles



As soon as you believe it

you can make it to the end of the line



Tonight there's no more runnin' scared



Shoot. Shoot.

Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.



They gotta shoot from outside.

They're cloggin' up the middle.



This is terrific. I'm freezin' my ass off,

and I got Red Auerbach here.



Stay out of the game.






Give 'em the ball.



- Hey. How about the ball?

- Yo. The ball. The ball.



- Come on. Give us the ball.

- Yeah, yeah.



Just give 'em back the ball.



- You wanna play, huh?

- The ball. Come on.



- Hey!

- Come on, hey!



Come on, shithead, give me the ball.



- I don't want the damn ball.

-    seconds on the clock.



Come on!



We're playin' a game here.

Gimme the ball.



- You're in for it now, man.

- Hey, just one second, you know?



Come on. That's right.



Don't put the hands on.



And he gets his own rebound!

The crowd goin' nuts.



He's a tough kid.

You can say that again, friends.






- You belted him, you shithead!

- Let it go. It's all right.



No. It coulda been me he clobbered.

It sets a bad precedent.



- Come on. No autopsy, no foul. Let's go.

- You're a lucky fella.



Shut up, man.

You got the entire Sioux Nation here.



They cut down the inside.

Why not take the outside shot?



I got carried away. Look at the Mercedes.



That's Snake. Who's drivin'?



- I don't know. Let's bust him.

- For what?



In this neighbourhood

a Mercedes is probable cause.



- That's Julio Gonzales.

- Hey, didn't we just put him away?



Get in the car, Snake. Quick,

give me the briefcase. Get in the car.



- It's three years. Maybe he's on parole.

- In a Mercedes?



How come these losers

never live on the ground floor?



- Ow. Snake, man, my foot!

- What do you want?



- Let's begin with my foot.

- Here's the situation. I have this gun here.



I'm gonna take the gun out, and

I'm gonna shoot a lot of holes in the door.



If you are standing in front

of the door, what can I tell you?



Some of those holes are gonna be in you.



You catching my drift, Snake?



- You got nothin' on me.

- Assaulting an officer's foot?



We heard you were back.

We came to renew your pusher's licence.



Not me. I'm clean as a baby's ass.

I've been born again.



- Right. What's in the briefcase, Snake?

- Nothin'. Just stuff.



- Stuff? That's clever.

- Yeah. Personal shit.



Personal? Like what?

Your memoirs? Your prom pictures?



- The first one. My memories.

- Could you be dumber?



Can we take a look inside?



- You got a search warrant?

- We can get one.



You wanna be uncomfortable

all that time?



And we're talkin' real uncomfortable.



Holy shit.



Ain't no law against havin' money.



Snake, now I want you to level with us.

Is it possible you're dealing again?



(both) Nah!



Snake, we gotta take the place apart.

You understand?



Go ahead. See if I care.



- There's $      here.

- You know what I could do with $     ?



I told you I was clean.

You wouldn't be prosecutin' me...



...if I wore silk suits and lived

on the Gold Coast. This is harassment.



How'd you get the name Snake?

What, you got a long wee-wee?



Sorry, man, but we gotta bust you.



- You ain't got no reason to bust me.

- We got       reasons.



Right. But you ain't got no crime.



I will be back.



Yo! Hey!



Yo. Hey. Yo!

Can I have your attention, please?



- This is a neighbourhood watch area.

- What's he doin'?



- Rich people make him crazy.

- There's a guy up here named Snake.



He's wearin' garage-sale clothes and

the top of his hair looks like a parakeet.



He also has $     

in small bills in a briefcase.



As his neighbours, you must make sure

there are no suspicious characters...



...or evil perpetrators lurkin' in the area

who would seek to do him harm.



Again, $      in small bills. Tax free!



In a briefcase, in this apartment,

which has really cheeseball locks.



You can push in, bop him on the head,

take it... Nobody'll know.



So it's up to you.

Thanks a lot. Have a good day.



- Well said.

- You can't do that.



Yes, he can. What he can't do is undo it.

So, good luck at your chosen profession.



Yeah. Keep in touch, man.

Don't be a stranger.



Wait. Wait!



- You can't leave me here now.

- Sorry, Snake, but you're clean.



- You gotta arrest my ass.

- For what?



Thanks very much.



- Mr Hughes.

- Come on, man, come on. It's cold here.



Relax, Snake.






Saw Gonzales in a Mercedes.

Who's he workin' for?



Julio don't work for nobody.



His boss had an accident.

He fell on a knife four times.



- Those things do happen.

- It's a jungle out there.



Listen, you dimball, we got $     . Think

Gonzales was buyin' Savings Bonds?



Yeah, right. Yeah. Buy American.

Support your country. Shit like that.



- Could he be, maybe, importing cocaine?

- No, no, no. That would be illegal.



Hey. I got the right

to remain silent. Listen to this.



I hate the fact that Gonzales has

a Mercedes and we're in this tub of crap.



Yeah, it does lack a certain style.



- You know what?

- What?



Why don't we go to where Gonzales

lives and find out where he shops?



If he can afford a Mercedes,

maybe we can too.



But, now, where

are we gonna find $     ?



I don't know.



If I were Gonzales, this is not

where I would park my Mercedes.



- How you doin'?

- All right. Where's the fire?



There is no fire. A jumper hit the sidewalk.

They hate cops here, so they call us.



I don't know why

they can't call Chicken Delight.



All right. I love fires.






Hey, man. What are you doin'?



I'll take this so you don't

make any bad investments.



That's my money! Hey, you!



Hey, man! You be careful with that!



- Watch the hose.

- OK.



- Well, look who's here.

- Hey, Garcia.



My favourite traffic cop.



- You give the body a ticket yet?

- Up yours.



- Fellas, fellas.

- Gruesome stuff. Does the lump have ID?



Nothin'. Not even a face. John Doe

meets Sheraton Road. Splat.



- Anybody see anything?

- Not around here. Nobody saw nothin'.



Nobody saw nothing? You mean

somebody got up on the roof...



...and said "Anybody looks,

I'm not jumping"? Come on.



Hey. You two weren't "questioning

a suspect" on the roof, were you?



That's cute.

Go put your nuts in a microwave.



- He jumped barefoot?

- Locals musta stole his shoes.



- His clothes are wet. Did they bathe him?

- The guy checked out. It's no big deal.



- Are you tryin' to drum up business?

- No, to arrest Julio Gonzales.



- If this is him, it would save a lotta grief.

- He's not around.



When he got out of Joliet, he had money.



Moved downtown for his new image.

Wants to be the next Al Capone.



- We gotta get this guy fast, man.

- Hey, what time is it?



- Ten to four.

- I gotta go say goodbye to Aunt Rose.



Callin' all cars. Callin' all cars!

UFO landed on Michigan Avenue.



(Danny) I should park inconspicuously.



(Snake) What is this?

Don't pull that psycho cop shit on me.



This is my Aunt Rose's funeral. One

wisecrack gets you your own casket.



- Leave me in the car. I don't want to go.

- Come on.



- What are we doing?

- Shut up and look sad.



- I can't go to no funeral dressed like this.

- I'll get you a shovel. You'll fit right in.



Through the Holy Spirit, as it was at the

beginning, is now and ever shall be...


            without end. Amen.



May her soul, and all the souls

of the faithful departed...



...through the mercy of God, rest in peace.






- Hello, Danny.

- Hi, Anna. It's nice of you to come.



I liked her a lot.



- Hey. Hi, Ray.

- Hi, Anna.



- Lookin' good.

- Thanks.



It's good to see you two

back together again.



- We're still divorced.

- Italians don't get divorced. It's a sin.



- They're just not together.

- We're still not together.



- Good. He's no good for you.

- Aunt Sophie, what do you mean?



Look at you. You don't even bother

to wear a tie, much less a suit.



I was working. Rose would understand.



- God knows why she was so fond of you.

- It's a mystery to me too.



- But I was her favourite nephew.

- Her only nephew.



Mine too, but I expect

you'll be on time for my funeral.



I will be the first one on line.



And you. You don't look

much better than him.



- Hi, Aunt Sophie.

- I'm not your aunt. Nor yours, neither.



Father, you know Danny.

This is Detective Hughes.



This is Mr Snake. We sorta work together.



- We'll talk later, huh?

- Yeah. Bye.



(Snake makes kissing sound)



As soon as we're outta sight,

I'll kick the shit outta you.



- Anna sure is looking good.

- Who cares?



- Sure is touchy about his ex-wife.

- She's a piece.



- Don't talk about her, pig-breath.

- So touchy.



- That's right.

- Costanzo, you let that go?



- Shut up, Snake.

- Gimme your money!



- What?

- You heard me.



- Hey, man, don't shoot.

- You're mugging us?



Believe it or you're dead.

Give us your money.



- Take this. It's full of money.

- No, no. That's mine.



Don't fuck with me.

We want your cash, not your luggage.



- Take the cash, but we need the wallets.

- We want it all. Hurry.



Come on. Let us keep the drivers'

licences and snapshots.



- And our badges.

- Shit. Cops.



Do you think we all wear uniforms and

drive cars that say "Police" on them?



Look, see? I'm with you.



- You're under arrest.

- You have the right to remain silent.



Anything you say

will be used against you. You...



- Gimme your guns, man.

- Take the cash. We gotta keep the guns.



- I can't give guns to riffraff.

- The right to breakfast...



...the right to a beverage of your choice...

- They've got guns.



Fellas, this is just me, but I'd rather

get shot with one of those pissant.  s...



...than with my.  .



- You're under arrest. Don't make it worse.

- Move again, I'll shoot your ass.



Pointing a gun at a police officer?

Can we waste them for that?



- I think so.

- Yeah.



- It starts in the home.

- It's the educational system.



- The new math drives them nuts.

- Right to the streets.



- You ready?

- Yeah. Come on.



Stop. Stop. Police.



(horn blares)



(horn blares)



I can't believe you missed all six shots.



What? I hit the windshield

six times in a row.



No, excuse me, sir. All six of mine hit.

I don't know where you were.



- I'm the one that made 'em swerve.

- You did? You always aim low anyway!



Oh, let's do height jokes?

That's really good.



- You fuckers are sick.

- I just want credit where it's due.



Snake, from here,

the angle of trajectory is...



Great. Look who I'm talkin' to. Mr SATs.



(Snake) Costanzo, stop pickin' on me.



- I know you're just doin' your job.

- I just want you to shut up for a minute.



- So you saw 'em mop up the pancake?

- Hi, Captain.



Very pretty. You weren't, by any chance,

"interrogating" anybody on that roof?



We got an alibi. Snake, tell him

where we were or we'll kill you too.



- Officer Raymond Hughes?

- Who wants to know?



The days of brute law enforcement

are over. Welcome to the     s.



I'm not Hughes,

and welcome to the   th District.



A subpoena for me? No, thank you.



Officer Hughes, you're being sued for

abusing the rights of Hector Wallace.



Hey, man. I'm one of the abused.



I'm no cop.



You a lawyer? Yo, let me have your card.



- And the rights of the woman he killed?

- You get mugged, don't come to us!



Another satisfied customer.

Our grateful public can't thank us enough.



All right.



Uh-uh. Don't even think about puttin'

my Cub hat on that hair. Put that down.



- Weren't you scared?

- I used to be.



- But then I discovered I was bulletproof.

- I'm not bulletproof.



- Ray always gets shot.

- That's awful.



- It's just bullets.

- Little ones. I tend to be more cautious.



- Cautious, my ass.

- Danny's the one who gets Ray shot.



Some women like men with scars.



You like scars? I have a lot of scars.

Deep, emotional scars.



Danny's workin' on his next ex-wife.



Would you marry me for a few days?

No strings attached.



How could I resist an offer like that?



- What's your name?

- Maryann.



- Maryann what?

- Just Maryann.



Just Maryann. No last name?

You're married. She's married.



I'm not married. Not at the moment.

You're not looking for a wife, are you?



- I already had one.

- I've already been one.



We have a lot in common.






- What's he doing here?

- I brought doughnuts.



I was gonna get those French things,

but I hate the word.



- Croissants?

- Boom. Say it wrong, you sound stupid.



So I brought doughnuts.



- So how was she?

- Well?



She's friendly. I like her.



I now know why you have an ex-wife.



At least I don't have an ex-partner.



I think your friend's jealous.






Someday, we both have

to find women at the same time.



She certainly was on top.



Hi, good-lookin'. How you doin'?



Can't live without me, huh?



- Don't start. This is hard enough already.

- Hey, Costanzo.



You got a visitor.



- I sent your cheque.

- I'm not here about alimony.



- That's not your lawyer?

- No.



Hey, Ray. Ray? Buy me some time, huh?



- Officer Costanzo?

- That's Costanzo over there.



- But he didn't lay a hand on him.

- On who?






- So what's the problem?

- No problem.



- I just wanted to see you for a minute.

- Well, here I am.



- How've you been?

- Fine, great. How about you?



I'm pretty good.



- How's the social-work business?

- Busy.



I'm getting married.



- Do I know the guy?

- No.



He's not in the stairs

or the men's room.



Try the ladies' room.



Well, that's great, Anna. That's

really great. I bet he's a stable guy.



He's a nice man. And, yeah, he's stable.



- A doctor?

- Kind of.



- Kind of? What's kind of a doctor?

- He's a dentist.



- No shit?

- No shit.



- Do they play their office music at home?

- At least he's a grown-up.



- You Costanzo?

- Come in, you're arrested for indecency.



- Yourself?

- I'm on a stakeout.



- You don't look like a Costanzo.

- Hey, I'm a paesano.



What do you want me to do?

Cook you up a pot of ragù?



Or sweat garlic for you? Sing an opera?

Lose a war? Huh? Ah, va fare in culo.



Hey, I'm not gonna hang around all day

just to give you this.



- Who's it from this time?

- It's your Aunt Rose.



- Don't joke about my Aunt Rose.

- You have my sincere condolences.



Your aunt's entire estate

has not been computed...



...but our law firm estimates say,

after taxes, you'll receive about $     .



- Dollars?!

- This visit has been a courtesy.



If you want further details,

why don't you come by my office?






- Hey. You're rich.

- Anna's gettin' married.



Oh. I'm happy for you.

If you're happy for yourself.



- To a dentist.

- No shit.



He might not be Mr Excitement, but he'll

be there. I've had enough excitement.



- They'll have clown paintings.

- That's cold.



Don't make me laugh.

I don't wanna laugh. I gotta go.



I'll talk to you later. Wish me well.



I do. You know I do.



- I bet his favourite flavour's Lavoris.

- (groans)



- Ah, who cares?

- Right.



- It's no big deal, man.

- Right.



- You know, I'm better off without her.

- Wrong.



Did you say I was rich?



We'll have dinner at the Pump Room.

With appetisers.



Then I'll buy

one of those laser disc stereos...



...where the speakers are so big

I have to move out.



Good seats for the Cub games.

I'll give you $     .



I lied. If there's anything left,

I'll pay some bills.



- Hey. The jumper yesterday?

- Yeah?



- I just got the cause of death.

- Let me guess. Deceleration trauma?



- Uh... Cement poisoning?

- He drowned.



- Poor guy couldn't swim or fly, huh?

- You don't need a cop, just a lifeguard.



Victim's name is Alan Jackson.

He was a cop from the South Side.



- Sorry, Captain. We'll get on it.

- What's he doin' in that neighbourhood?



We do not know.

You are the detectives. Go and detect.



All right?



Gonzales is back in action...



...and suddenly there's a drowned cop

thrown off his apartment building?



Let's go talk to Snake.



Number five,

would you step forward, please?



- That's him. That's the one.

- You have to be absolutely positive, sir.



I am absolutely positive. Who could forget

that face? I saw it through the screen.



Turn to the right, please.



- Not you, sir. Number five.

- What the hell is this, man?



Just do as you're told, number five.



That is definitely the one. You bastard!



Numbers one through four,

thank you very much.



- I don't have to take this, man.

- You shouldn't have to.



- But actually, you do.

- We're makin' you an offer.



We know you work for Gonzales,

and we would rather have him than you.



We'll let you out to make your buy.

We'll follow you to Gonzales, bust him...



- We'll be heroes and you'll go free.

- Drop dead.



- You'll want to hear your other option.

- We nail Gonzales without you...



...arraign you, drop the charges against

you, he thinks you rolled over on him...



...and you drop dead.

- You got nothin' on me and less on him.



Forget it.



- I told you it wouldn't work.

- Yeah.



It's just as well.

I wouldn't have felt right about it.



Yeah. Snake, you're free to go.

Sorry to bother you.



See you, Snake.



One key ring, four keys.

One comb, plastic.



One pack chewing gum, four pieces.



- One pack condoms, unused.

- All right, all right.



And one briefcase.



- Where's my goddamn money?

- Relax, buster, it's all here.



You'll have to sign for that. Right here.



Five thousand dollars.



Five? What do you mean, five?

There's fif...



- There's fifty!

- Says $     here.



That's your signature, right?



- Yeah, but...

- What seems to be the problem, Officer?



- Julio'll kill me for wearin' a wire.

- But he'll torture you for the money.



Snake, you don't have to go for this. You

could file charges. Everybody else does.



If you win,

you get your money, we go to jail.



Of course, that'll take months, and you'll

still have to explain yourself to Gonzales.



Not the shirt, Snake. The pants.



I can't do it.



Any problems, just yell out

"ecclesiastical" and we'll come bustin' in.



- Say what?

- Say "Snakebite".



- Snakebite.

- When are you makin' a buy?



Tonight. So I need a van.

It's all the way over on the South Side.



That's where Jackson was from, man.



It's all there. $     .



I'll count it. You load the van.



I can take a lot of abuse,

but a crook suin' me, a cop?



I'm tryin' to do my job.



I'm gonna go to Italy. Take some time off.



Aunt Rose always said to me

"Go to Rome." I'm gonna go to Rome.



Next thing you know,

I'll have to have malpractice insurance.



I'm gonna buy a Trans Am.

No, a 'Vette. Better, a 'Vette.



I can buy whatever I want.



How much dope can you buy for $     ?



I thought she left you   .



He's got an awfully big box there.



Wait a second. Tell me

that asshole isn't buying colour TVs.



You can't put $      worth

of hot TVs in that van.



Give me a hand with this.

I gotta take one of these to Julio.



(man speaking Spanish)



- Sorry I'm late, Julio.

- Why are you here?



- Gonzales.

- So those dog-ass cops busted you?



- He remembers us, too.

- It was a dumb mistake. I got the stuff.



- Stupid. They could have tailed you.

- No, I was careful, Julio. Real careful.



- (loud slap)

- What are you talkin' about?



- No, Julio, listen!

- Uh-oh. Time to go to work.



- Look at this.

- Uzis. Damn it.



Thanks to us,

everybody in there's got one.



They gotta have

at least    machine guns in there.



Right. We'd better both go.



Where are the guns?



You make any noise

and we cuff you to the anchor, huh?



(Snake) No, I went to Deluca.

I swear, I went to who you asked me...



Julio, I wouldn't do that! Please, God!






Police officers. Nobody move.



What, am I stupid?

You think you scared me, right?



You can do anything,

and guys like me gotta take it?



That's enough. You make it too easy.

I remember you both as being smarter.



- We've heard a lot about you, Gonzales.

- You give dope dealers a bad name.



It's just the beginning. You're looking

at the first Spanish godfather of Chicago.



- What about the competition?

- Competition? It's what the Uzis are for.



- I almost wish you'd live to see it.

- Even you're too smart to kill cops.



- Well, lucky for me, accidents happen.

- Me and Frankie'll take 'em for a swim.



Better yet, we'll take 'em fishing.

Cops make good bait.



- Julio, I did Jackson for you. Let me.

- Shut up.



You had Jackson killed?

You leave us no choice.



- You're under arrest.

- You know what a Colombian necktie is?



That's when I cut your throat

from ear to ear...



...then I stick your tongue through the slit,

leave it dangling and watch you squirm.



Oh, yes, Snake.

You should be squirmin' too.



You brought them here.



No, but Julio,

I brought them to you giftwrapped.



- Freeze, Julio!

- Police officers. You're under arrest.



- Six months of undercover work, blown!

- To save these jerks.



Nobody asked you to butt in!

We made the arrest!



- You let the bastard get away!

- Next time, just stay out of our way!



We're the good guys. How

were we to know they're cops?



They come back, we kill them.

Nobody needs to know.



All right, Mano, now you shoot anybody

who comes through that door. Anybody!



Let's get him.



We've got you, Julio!



- Is this what I wanna do when I grow up?

- What else is there?



(gunfire on dock)



- Totally unprofessional.

- Amateurs. They could've got us killed.



You're under arrest. You know the routine.



Very good. You have the right

to remain silent. Now, what else?



What else?



Anything I say may be

used against me in a court of law.



That's two. You're doin' great.

Now what's next?



I have the right to an attorney.



If I cannot afford an attorney,

one will be appointed by the court.



Yeah! Now, do you understand

these rights you just explained to us?



- Oh, yes.

- A pleasure to deal with a professional.



- You're gonna die for this.

- (both) Ooh.



I can feel the tension in the air. Come on.



- Gonzales got away, thanks to you.

- Listen, we didn't properly express...



- We saved you. Don't make it a big deal.

- If we had to do it again, who knows?



You can throw that one back in.

He's not big enough to keep.



Good night, boys.



Damn it.



The Captain wants to give us a medal,

OK? We'll talk to you later.



- Hell of a bust.

- Hey. Thank you.



Commendation time. Maybe...

maybe even a promotion, right?



Just doin' our job, Captain.



- You busted Gonzales before the DEA.

- The DEA?



They were tracking his shipment from

Colombia. But that shouldn't concern you.



- There'll be other shipments.

- Forget the months of undercover work.



We nailed Gonzales.

He had Jackson killed.



You needlessly jeopardised your lives

and those of fellow officers.



Those hotshots got nervous.

That's what happened.



- Is that what happened?

- (both) Yeah.



- Freeze, Julio!

- Police officers. You're under arrest.



(gunfire and shouting)



- We got Gonzales.

- You had to be rescued like two rookies.



- Maybe you need a rest.

- We don't.



I need a rest from you.

I approve your vacation.



- No! We got too much goin' on.

- You know, it's a very bad sign...



...when a cop thinks Chicago

will fall apart without him.



- You're on vacation. Effective now.

- We're not goin'.



Let me tell you somethin'. If I find you

in the city, I'm gonna have you arrested.



If you step one foot in the station house,

I'm gonna have you shot.



No. No. Come on. Come on.



They've already got Jackson's badge up.



- They don't waste any time.

- There's a lot of room in this case.



It won't happen to us. We're too smart.



- We're very smart cops.

- But we're not perfect.



- You need a drink.

- No, a lot of drinks.



I thought about being killed a million

times. I never believed it until Gonzales.



The only thing worse than dying young

is dying young with money.



I don't mind dying

in certain circumstances...



...but not like that. Not being humiliated.



Dead can't be any worse than

being rescued by those two gerbils.



- This place is depressing.

- Mm.



Why are we in Key West?



It's as far south as we could get

without having to speak Spanish.



Logan sends us away, and Wally and the

Beaver get credit for bustin' Gonzales.



What's goin' on? What happened?



- I don't know. Maybe a ship sank.

- Maybe somebody drowned.



- We're watching the sunset.

- Yeah, right.



- Really, what happened?

- The sun is setting. Can't you see it?



Don't give us that. It sets every night.



Yeah, and we come out every night

to watch it. Isn't it beautiful?



Maybe we should check this out.



Yeah, well, it better be good.



- Hi. I'm Danny.

- Julie.



So where'd you guys come in from?



Julie, I come from a planet far, far away.



("Sweet Freedom"

by Michael McDonald)



Hey, Ray. Come on, Ray. Come on,

Ray, the fish is winning! Come on!



Never! I'll die in this chair first.



Beer! Come on, he's gonna yank your ass

outta that chair. Come on, man, fish!



Shut up! I got this fish figured out.



First he swims, and then he jumps.

Then he swims, and then he jumps.



Good. Next time he jumps, let me know.

I'll shoot him. Come on, fish!



- More beer.

- (both) Lunch.












No more runnin' down the wrong road



Dancin' to a different drum



Can't you see what's goin' on?



Deep inside your heart



Reachin' out to meet the changes



Touching every shining star



The light of tomorrow

is right where we are



There's no turning back

from what I am feeling



Shine, sweet freedom,

shine your light on me



You are the magic,

you're right where I wanna be



- Oh, sweet freedom, carry me along

- Oh



We'll keep the spirit alive



On and on






Cos there'll be starlight all night



When we're close together



Share those feelings

dancing in your eyes



Tonight they're guiding us



Shine right to the morning light






- (Danny) That sunset's incredible.

- (Ray) I never wanna leave here.



- We could come back.

- We will. Next year's vacation.



- I mean for good. We could move here.

- Bein' a cop here wouldn't be the same.



I don't mean be a cop.

I mean quit, retire. Be a regular person.



- Regular people suck.

- Maybe. But they hardly ever get shot at.



- Shine, sweet freedom

- Yeah



(Danny) We've been cops    years.

That's enough.



- Maybe I'm not ready to quit.

- Maybe I am.



- We're four years away from our pension.

- Four more years of people shootin' at us.



You gonna live on Aunt Rose's money?



Maybe I'll invest in a little business

down here and just enjoy myself.



There's nothing to do down here but drink

and fish. You know nothing about fishing.



I'll have bands. Put up a sign

that says "Every night is Ladies' Night."



I'll have "Wet T-shirt Night"

for women over   .



- It's a fixer-upper.

- I'll get a better price.



- It's not easy runnin' a bar.

- Nor is being a cop.



A bar has more room for error.

But I'll still need my partner.



I can tell. But I don't have $     

burnin' a hole in my pocket.



You have been paying into

the pension fund for    years.



When you quit, you get it back. Let's go

for the good life while we can enjoy it.



We bust our ass in Chicago.

Nobody cares.



- I still like being a cop.

- This will be the same thing.



We break up fights,

we argue with drunks...



...we'll roust hookers, and occasionally,

if we're lucky, we will get robbed.



It's sudden to talk about quittin'.



- Might look like we're scared.

- We're not scared, we're smart.



We're not quitting, just changing

professions. We're entrepreneurs.



Hell, we drink enough to make ourselves

rich. Where was this? Here?



I don't know, Danny. What's the rush?



I see those two turdbrains.

That's us, ten years ago.



I see us ten years from now.

We're gonna be like the Captain.



- I need a drink.

- We all need drinks! We're gonna be rich!



Promise me we'll get robbed. A lot.



Cos there'll be starlight all night



When we're close together



Share those feelings

dancing in your eyes



Tonight they're guiding us



- Shine right till the morning light

- Shine, sweet freedom



Shine your light on me



You are the magic,

you're right where I want to be



- Come, sweet freedom, carry me along

- Ooh



We'll keep our spirit alive, oh, yeah



(horn blares)



Hey, ya shitheads!

Watch where you're goin'!



- Hey, take it easy. We're in no hurry.

- Look at all these people.



- Everybody's in such a rush.

- Yeah. Chicago.



These people gotta learn

to stop and watch the sunset.



- You're gonna what?

- Quit. Leave. Depart. Vamoose. Amscray.



- Retire. This is our official,   -day notice.

- Let me tell you something.



When you've been cops this long,

you are not fit for anything.



What are you gonna do? Open a bar?



- We want new career challenges.

- Somethin' with a future.



- What else lets you shoot people?

- We're tired of that. It never did any good.



We've been on the force a long time.

Crime gets worse.



- Maybe we're the problem.

- You damn well ain't the solution.



- Your pal Gonzales is back on the street.

- What?



He made bail. And if he gets the right

lawyer, he probably is gonna go free.



Right now, he is a private citizen,

just like you two wanna be.



Citizen? Gonzales shot Snake

in front of four policemen!



- You saw him pull the trigger?

- He was gonna kill us!



- If he had, then we woulda had a case.

- He got Jackson killed.



What's the big deal?

So another bad guy takes a walk.



He runs some dope.

He buys a few machine guns.



He kills a cop.

This is not your concern any more.



- We will nail him by tonight.

- For what?



Wherever he is, he's doing something

dirty. We find Gonzales, we find a crime.



(Ray) Gonzales, here we come!



-    days and we're outta here.

- Uh-huh. And we go out heroes.



It's a lot heavier than I remembered.



Gonzales has an Uzi.



They aren't effective

if you get shot in the face.



I need it for lower-back support.



Wear that,

your chest will smell like your feet.



Well, in    days, I'll smell

like Jamaican rum and Coppertone.



- Costanzo, you get transferred to Beirut?

- Ha, ha. Meter maid.



What the hell?!



Let me guess. You got a bad back.



Señora. Hi. We sell Tupperware.

We're looking for Julio Gonzales.



We sold him a lot of Jell-O moulds

and we can't find him.



- Would you have a forwarding address?

- I know no Julio Gonzales. Go away.



We know he lived here. Cooperate, or

you'll get a lot of trouble with inspectors.



We can have the city deliver garbage,

not pick it up.



Go away, pronto. I know nothing.



- We can go round checking green cards.

- I tell you, go away. No questions.



The owner of this slum won't be happy

if all his tenants are deported.



- The owner is Julio Gonzales.

- We'll begin by deporting you.






He has a señorita

at the Camino Real Apartments.



Maybe he's there. I don't know!



Do you need a lettuce crisper?



- Camino Real.

- One second.






- You handled that so professionally.

- That's what we're trained for.



When fired upon, return the fire.



- Hey, get away from that car!

- Hey, that's a police car!



I think they know that.



- It never fooled anybody anyway.

- Ah, look at this.



- (Ray) I think it's around here.

- Camino Real... Camino... There it is.



- Ooh, bingo. Gonzales-mobile.

- Uh-huh.



So how come the bad guys

always have the good cars?



I've been thinkin'.

We should be more responsible...


            our approach to criminal matters.






What are you... what are you doin'?



Ray. Come on.

You're not gonna spray that car?



- I have respect for personal property.

- Yeah, and I'm Walter Peyton.



All right, so you make an instant towaway

zone. Very smart. But I don't like this.



Now we're gonna see who catches hell.



Yes! And he's gonna lead us to Gonzales.



- We're not bursting in like Elliott Ness?

- What are you talkin' about?



I'm slightly allergic to machine guns.

I'm calling for backup.



- Backup?

- Everybody else does.



- Are you sick? Come on!

- I don't want this to get out of hand.



We have an obligation to the lovely ladies

of Key West. Remember them?



The long legs, the flat bellies,

the tight buns and tan tits?



You've done things crazier than this,

and I backed you up.



Yeah, but I never got us killed. Not once.



Let's stay alive till the escrow closes on

the bar. There may be papers to sign.



Ábreme! Ábreme! Ábreme!



Police! Freeze!






Did I come at a bad time?



- We are sometimes too enthusiastic.

- (Julio) Shoot those bastards!



Julio is such a kidder. I love this part.



Put your guns down. You're under arrest.



No hablo inglés.



Oh. Hablo Smith and Wesson?



You have the right to remain dead.



Anything you do will be used against you.

You have the right to a coroner.



If you cannot afford one, we will

appoint a medical examiner for you.



- Good choice, pal.

- Get down. Drop it.



- That's what you call being careful?

- Are you kidding?



What is this? I have always been careful.



All these years, and behind my back

you're bein' careful?



Let's go. Come on, charm bracelet. Now.

Hey. We got something on Julio after all.



Mama. Mama!



Out here!



Hey, Gonzales. Nice legs!



- Just shoot him and let's go.

- Makin' me look bad to my people, huh?






- Stay right where you are!

- All right. Calm down.



Don't tell me to calm down.

Just throw me your pants.



- We can't.

- We have to.



Maybe we can get him with a lucky shot.



- I can't even see him behind her.

- It's worth a try, though, right?



As long as I keep my pants on.



Now, man!

Come on, or I'm gonna drop her.



You know he's gonna do this.



Then we let him kill us. That's what

he wants, and there's dignity in that.



As long as we keep on our pants.



(woman sobs)






I'm tellin' you, stop screwing around

and throw me your goddamn pants!



I just threw you my pants!

Can I help it if you can't catch?



- You did that on purpose.

- Right. That's exactly what I did.



I know you.






See? That wasn't so hard, was it?



So you have a better arm than I do.

But I was a better hitter and you know it.



Come on. Move! Move!






- (woman screams)

- Move!






Shit! We lost our suspect,

our keys, our car, our pants!



It coulda been worse.

We coulda been shot!



This is great. This is great.



- There's never a cop when you need one.

- I never needed one before.



Garcia, I said one backup.

One backup! You bring the Rose Parade!



You never called for a backup before.



(chuckles) We figured there was a riot.



Get in the car.

Would you get in the car, Mr Backup?



Get in there.



(wolf whistle)



Costanzo, where'd you rent those knees?



You two may be quitting

too late instead of too early.



I have seen it before. Short-timers'

disease. Lookin' forward to good times.



- You're getting careful.

- We are not.



- What's wrong with that?

- Careful gets you killed.



- Worry about being shot, you get shot.

- We didn't get shot.



- You got scared outta your pants.

- He had a hostage.



We did what we had to do.



You have been the wild men

around here for a long time.



Time to pass the torch. I'm bringing in

two replacements for you to train.



I want you to give 'em

a crash course on your turf.



Go out with some class.



How long's it gonna take you

to get this thing out on the road?



You want a miracle, right?

A little Bondo, a few taps with a hammer...



- She'll be good as ever, right?

- Wrong. It sticks out like a sore thumb.



- Might as well be a blue-and-white.

- Hey, Ace. I want some improvements.



What? A sunroof? Turbo charger?

Laser weapons? What?



- I don't know what I want.

- Lemme tell you what you want.



You wanna come and go like the wind.

Invincible, invulnerable, invisible.



And I want it Thursday at nine.



- It won't be invisible till five.

- See you then.



(Ray) This is it.



- (Danny) Call me if you need backup.

- I can handle it.



- May I help you?

- Yeah. I'm looking for a Mr MJ Thomas.



MJ Thomas is a Ms, not a Mr.

What do you want, pal?



If that's the way it's gonna be, fine. Officer

Hughes. I have a warrant for her arrest.



- What?

- Unpaid parking tickets. Lots of 'em.



I've told her a million times...



It's for you.



She'll be here in a minute.



- How did you find me?

- I'm a detective. I find people all the time.



- You know, your boyfriend's an asshole.

- I seem to attract 'em.



- You trying to ruin my relationship?

- No! You don't need me for that.



- What do we do now?

- I have a friend who can guarantee...



...that you cannot be bailed out

until tomorrow morning.



Key West was unbelievable. We finally

found a job where it's OK to drink on duty.



- We bought our own bar.

- Sounds great. Can I come visit?



Florida's outside my jurisdiction.

Maybe I can have you extradited.



- What? You couldn't find a girl to arrest?

- He's saving himself.



Happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you



- Happy birthday, dear Ray...

- (applause)



- You didn't have to do that.

- I know. I wanted to.



- Where's your fiancé?

- Anna, this is Maryann.



- Hi.

- She's my prisoner.



- She's Danny's ex-wife.

- Maybe he's flossing.



I never miss Ray's birthday. You and

Peter Pan aren't gettin' any younger.



- She's gettin' married.

- Wanna know what she's marrying?



Not him again?

Then it's an improvement.



- Anna, when's the big day?

- In June.



What a shame we can't be there.



- We'll be in Florida.

- What are you gonna do in Florida?



We bought a bar. We're gonna retire.

Lead the good life for a change.



Retire? Florida?



So? You'll be fighting tooth decay.



I don't really care.

I'm just surprised, that's all.



- It's the time to go, while we're young.

- Yeah? How many candles on the cake?



- Thirty-four.

- Thirty-six.



- Thirty-four.

- Thirty-six.



- Never mind.

- Wait, wait, wait.



Can I have your attention, please?

Ray Hughes is    years old today!




- I swear to God.



Happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you



Happy birthday, dear Ray...



I transferred two guys from the South

Side. I hear they're a lot like you two.



Like you used to be. Don't discourage

'em. Let 'em burn out naturally.






- What is this? Some cruelty joke?

- We're not working with these assholes.



Listen, we're not exactly

thrilled about slowin' down.



- Workin' with a handicap.

- Handicap this.






Teach 'em all you know. I want 'em

to be the best of the worst.



Don't let me find you

doin' what they teach you.



- Hey, we don't even know what we know.

- And we wouldn't waste time on them.



Cut the sweet talk. Gonzales is about

to bring in a shipment. I want him nailed!



You know the turf. They know Gonzales.

They got a tip where to find his cowboys.



Stop bitchin' and go and get the bastard!



- Get up outta there.

- That is my Cub ball. Put it down.



- I'm the Michelangelo of the motor pool.

- Ace, it is perfect!



You got your siren, your radio, your

flashing lights and your fare meter.



There's something not quite right here.



It's your old car with modifications.

The windows are bulletproof plexiglass.



You can't roll 'em down,

but you can't get shot.



- Did you ask for that?

- It couldn't hurt.



I feel like James Bond. You got

any machine guns or ejection seats?



- Sure. Wanna leave it here?

- No, it's perfect.



Just take care of it this time.

It's a masterpiece.



Something's not right.



- You gettin' ready for your new career?

- Oh, it's Heckle and Jeckle.



It's the latest in surveillance,

in harmony with the environment.



Look, I'm sayin' it looks good.

Especially the colour.



Yeah. What do you call it?

The chicken-mobile?



Just a sec.






Now it looks like a taxi.



Some of Gonzales' guys

have been crashing here.



- Think we oughta get backup?

- What do you want, an air strike?



Got your search warrant?



Let me guess. Clint Eastwood, huh?



Dirty Tony.



Hey, hey, hey. Knock. Knocking works.



- Policía. Open up, por favor.

- Quién está allí...?



- (both) Por favor?

- (gunshot)






- Holy shit!

- Danny! Where the hell are you?



I'm in Key West!



Ray, I'm hit. I'm hit!






- Where did you get hit?

- (groans)



- It hurts, doesn't it?

- Yeah.    good years on the force...



...and I get it from another cop.



- Which one did it to you?

- Tony, I think.



I'll get him for you. Don't worry.



- If it's bad, you go to Florida without me.

- You're all right.



- Promise me you'll go without me.

- All right. I promise I'll go without you.



- You'd go without me?

- You just asked me to!



Without me? You son of a bitch!

Where's my gun? I'll kill you first.



Feelin' better?



Must be the vest.



- Hey, we got ours. Where are yours?

- You shot my partner!



- Man looks fine to me.

- You're slow, or you'd have shot me first.



Call that shooting?

Point-blank range and I'm still here.



Let's not argue.

You're upsetting the prisoners.



Why are they upset?

You didn't shoot them.



- Punk.

- Juan. Juan Martinez.



- You know this guy?

- We busted his father a lot.



- How is old Paco?

- Retired, man. Doin'    in Joliet.



Remember what a great informer he was?

Couldn't stand pain.



Touching. A second-generation stoolie.



- Come here for a second.

- Don't hit me! I'll talk.



That, my friends,

is textbook police procedure.



You're a lucky fella.



Man, I can't do no hard time. Look, you let

me go, I'll give you big news on Gonzales.



In honour of old Paco,

we'll give him a little amnesty.



- No, man.

- No, no. Not amnesia. Amnesty.



It's like confession. Tell us something

good, and we forgive you for bein' a loser.



Today he gets his shipment

on a flight from Colombia.



American Trans Air. Four o'clock.



- Do we tell the Sphincter Brothers?

- You wanna get shot again? Beat it.



- He's gettin' away!

- He's gettin' away! Get him!



Come on! He's gettin' away!



(Danny) We just go in, strictly low profile.



(Ray) We find the stuff, we trail it

to Gonzales, and we go out heroes.



(as Oliver Hardy) We certainly do.



- I don't believe it.

- We've been had.



That son of a bitch!



Those sons of bitches!



Work it, boy. Work it.

What you got? What you got?



Work it, boy. That's it.



OK. OK. Work it, boy. Work it.



Hey, Sarge. We got somethin' over here.



If it's pure, the street value

is approximately $  million.



Fantastic. Fantastic. Good work.



It's bullshit!

We coulda tracked it to Gonzales.



- Lose it, we miss a media opportunity.

- We wouldn't have lost it!



There's ways to get Gonzales. When

he loses this much, he's in deep shit.



Screw Gonzales!

That's a shitty thing to do to us!



If I'm not mistaken, you two are quittin'.

What do you care?



Yeah, we have the suspect.



Yeah, they got him.



Let me make a brief announcement,

then we'll take your questions.



We have to wait for the lab report, but

this afternoon we are fairly confident...



...that we seized cocaine with an

approximate street value of $  million.



At this time, I'd like to introduce you

to the two key officers in this arrest.



- Logan's draggin' us into his sideshow.

- I hate talkin' to newsmen.



Detectives Frank Sigliano

and Anthony Montoya.



- They'll answer a few of your questions.

- I'm outta here.



- They were apprehended an hour ago.

- Where are you holding them?



- Uh...

- They're in police custody.



This is real shit. This coke is pure shit.



- It's good shit, right?

- I mean bad shit.



Bad shit, like, this shit is bad?



Shit shit. Not worth shit. There's

barely enough coke to attract the dogs.



Anybody caught on the street

with this would get killed.






Let's see if there's

other flights from Colombia.



- What is this?

- We bring Bibles to the Indians...



...and return with crafts for our supporters.



OK. You may close them and

proceed through the doors up there.



Why is Gonzales smuggling

phoney dope through customs?



Something's wrong.



Look. It's Gonzales. He's got a phoney

nun and priest carrying the real coke!



- The other stuff's a decoy!

- And those assholes fell for it.



No. No!



Wait, Julio! Our luggage!

You have our bags!



- Taxi?

- Yes. We must catch that limousine.






Follow that car!






We're not in that big a hurry.



Stop, or I'll be forced to report you.



Oh, shut your big fat face.

You're under arrest, douchebags.



Sit. Sit back. Just shut up, penguin.



The only confession you'll hear today

is when you confess to me. You got it?



  -  ! In pursuit of black

Cadillac limo heading south on l-   .






You do whatever you have to do

to get us outta here, OK?



- Is this guy crazy?

- Maybe he knows a short cut.



A little present for you, my friend.



It works! It's really bulletproof!



- Thank you, Lord!

- Thank you, Ace!






- The windows won't roll down.

- You asshole, Ace!



(train horn)



- Is that what I think it is?

- Uh-huh.



This might be a good time to decide

just how bad we want Gonzales.



- You're scaring the passengers.

- He's bluffin'.



- Chickenshit!

- You're nuts, man.



  -   a roadblock has been set up

at the next exit. Use extreme caution.



  -  . Pursuit has left the interstate.

Now we're on the EI.



Try not to scrape the third rail, OK?

There's about     volts in there.



It's not the voltage that gets you,

it's the amps.



- How many amps are there?

- Enough to push a train.



- And shut up!

- Sit back, Zorro.



- I hate this.

- We're making good time.



- Holy...

- Shit!



- Why weren't we on that track?

- Now you're criticising my driving?



You get to do all the dangerous stuff

and I get to park.



- Great.

- Yeah.



Hey, Father.

You and your wife owe me $  .  .



We've made a terrible mistake.



We know.



My partner and I acted inexcusably...



...treating you rudely

and endangering your lives.



- We...

- We mistook you for smugglers.



That kid was a decoy,

carrying worthless shit... dope.



It was a diversion. Pure cocaine

was smuggled in on another flight.



- When we saw you with Julio...

- Julio Gonzales is a fine young man.



He supports our orphanage

and our trips to Colombia.



By smuggling cocaine in your souvenirs.

This is what we were after. Here.



- It's sand.

- Sand.






In my calling, forgiveness can

become an occupational hazard.



Please don't let it happen again.






I'll deal with you later.






- Tonight she said she was at her sister's.

- And you believe that?



I got to. If I stab her again,

she's gonna leave me.



- Adiós.

- Yeah, later, homes.



Have a good night.



Hey, what's the matter, huh?

That tip was good, right?



It was garbage. A decoy. You set us up.



Now we got a dozen warrants out

on Gonzales. Where is he?



Come on, man. Give me a break, huh?

Hey, slash my throat, huh?



We'll give you a second chance.

Where is he?



No way, Jose. That's suicide, bro.



Juan, you gotta cooperate, man. We want

Gonzales, and we want him very badly.



Look. Here, take me in. I'll do the time.



I got some coke, some scag, some PCP.

It'll be a good bust. Hey, you can't do that!



- Give us Gonzales.

- I can't, man. This is police brutality, bro.



It's harassment.

If it doesn't work, we'll get brutal.



Gonzales is a marked man. You protect...

What is that? That's terrible.



- What? It says "Born to Squeal".

- All right! Stop! Stop!



He's got a place up on the North Side.

Martindale. He's gone condo.



Hey, Juan, do you think

that would look better if I used ink?



- (Ray) We doin' the right thing?

- Waiting for Gonzales?



No, quitting. You don't think

we're turning chickenshit?



Hell, no. We've given our best years

to the city. Nobody gives a damn.



If we stay or leave, it doesn't matter.

If we live or die, it doesn't matter.



I gotta believe we made a difference.



Every stiff we put away

is out of circulation.



We musta prevented millions of crimes.

We're like that garbage truck.



Every night it comes and empties the

cans. Every day, the cans fill up again.



But if he doesn't show up one night,

the city fills up with filth.



- You know what I'm sayin'?

- Yeah, I guess.



What's he doin'? What, does he think

he found somebody humping?



Hey! I'll get him off us.



There you go. Come on. Move on.



Hey. Hey!



- It's time to bail out, man.

- Hey.



Hey, the doors are jammed.



Well, push harder!



What the hell is goin'...?






I hear you're retiring to Florida.

That's smart.



- Chicago's not so safe.

- (Ray) It will be before we leave.



(Danny) Yeah. When we finally

got you right where we want you.



Look, let's be professional here, huh?

Not personal. I'm glad to see you go.



Here's a wire addressed

to your Key West bank for $      .



That's the amount

of the mortgage on your bar.



You get me back my dope

and all your troubles are behind you.



You get the bar, free and clear, you coast

for a few weeks, then... Go. Sit in the sun.



You take your wire and stick it up your...



Sure. You got all that money from

Aunt Rose. It's easy for you to say.



Maybe it was something I said.



- Shit.

- I refuse to go out in the garbage.



We shoulda taken the bribe

and then busted him.



We're gonna be tender cop vittles.



- Ace's bulletproof glass. I'll kill him.

- You said it couldn't hurt!



Oh, good. Nag at me now.

Nagging is good.



- You owe me $  . I never said anything.

- You want it now?



Yeah, I want it now.



- You all right?

- We're off the forks.



- Try your door.

- No good. No good.



- (Ray) Compactor.

- (Danny) Shit!



- This guy's gettin' on my nerves.

- Yeah. It's time we started gettin' on his.



Since when do I owe you $  ?



I can't release this to you.



This car is registered

to someone named Julio Gonzales.



I need an official release.



I'll take it.



He's gone. You got anything

you want me to sign?



I could get used to this.

Think it's too late for a life of crime?



I think we should just

cruise down to Florida in style.



(salsa music)



- No, no. No.

- Oh, God.



Out of here. Bye.



Let's see what Julio's got

in his music library.



It all looks the same.




Let's see this guy.



("Man Size Love" by Klymaxx)



- This hardly feels like police work.

- The way to find someone?



Let them find you.



All right. Move back. Move back.

Come on. Give him some room.






- Oh, hey, Julio, man.

- Julio, bro.



- Hey, that's Julio's car.

- We're from Noise-Busters.



Do you know

where the Menudo concert is?






(phone rings)



Hello. Hola! Julio!



- Tell him I said hello.

- Yeah.



Julio, we've been lookin'

all over for you, man. Dónde está?



Tell him I said hello.



Julio... He's very excited.

Something about his car being stolen.



- His car was stolen?

- I guess so.



Jul... Julio, look.

You wanna file a report, amigo? Huh?



- You didn't tell him I said hello.

- I tried to. He hung up on me.



You gonna make the call?

It's gettin' a little late. You promised.



You owe me.



(comical voice) Oh, hello?

Can I talk to Detective Sigliano...



...and Detective Montoya, please?



My name is Pinkie. Is this a detective?



Hi. I usually inform for Hughes and

Costanzo, but they don't pay me no more.



Oh, no!

No, I'm just watchin' the new Jeopardy!



A man missed a Bible question because

he did not know what Deuteronomy was.



Oh, yeah, I'll help you.



I want you to get Gonzales

and show up Hughes and Costanzo.



They don't pay me no more,

and I'm mad.



Oh, no!



You dummy.

The answer is lpswich clams.



The man who can take you

to Gonzales, his name is...



...Adam Robertson.



He's a highfalutin lawyer type

who lives at      Lakeshore Drive.



Oh, Mother. Mother!



Can I have some more petite

marshmallows in my hot cocoa?



Ma... Gotta go! "Final Jeopardy" is on.



I don't care!

I don't know nothing about no Julio!



What the hell is this, man? Hey!



Leave it. I have a cleaning lady

who comes every April.



- I was going through some boxes.

- What the hell is this?



It's an insurance policy

you took out when we married.



- God, I forgot all about this.

- I thought you should have it back.



If I'm married to someone else, maybe

you wanna change the beneficiary.



I got nobody else to leave it to.

So if I croak, use it for yourself.



I just don't want it going for

a goddamn drill for your new husband.



- What about Ray?

- He'll have half the bar.



Buy something foolish.

You'll need a little foolishness.



- What the hell does that mean?

- That I can't believe you're doing this.



- Oh, now it comes out.

- What?



- You're jealous!

- Hah!



- "Hah"?

- It always worked for Uncle Tony.



- Goddamn you.

- "Goddamn you"? Goddamn you is good.



- Are you really going to Florida?

- Are you jealous?



No, it just sounds boring.

And you're not boring.



You are marrying boring.

And you're not so boring.



- Oh, yeah? Then how come we divorced?

- You wanted it.



- I needed it. I didn't want it.

- Yeah? What's the difference?



- I loved you too much.

- Shoulda loved me less.



I couldn't. I still can't. You can't be a kid

your whole life. You have to grow up.



- Why? I don't like grown-ups.

- That's exactly what I mean.



- Are you really happy since we broke up?

- No... Yes! Are you?



- Sure. Great. You wanna go to bed?

- Yes. No!



- You're making me crazy again.

- What's wrong with being crazy?



(phone rings)



- Hello?

- Danny?



- Anna. I...

- (Julio) She's with me.



You want her,

I want my shipment back. Tonight.



Now, this is non-negotiable. You get

the stuff and then we make a trade.



You hurt that lady

and you'll never be dead enough.



Hmm. I'm real scared. Get the stuff,

then leave a number where we can talk.



I'll get the stuff.

You call me, Martini's bar, eight o'clock.



One more thing. If there's a cop

anywhere around, and I mean anywhere...



...she loses.



(Hi-NRG disco)



Gonzales has Anna.

He says he'll trade her for his dope.



He knows we'll come after him.

How do you want to play it?



Head on. No cops.



- What the hell is this?

- I'm takin' a load of coke to the chemist.



All of it?    keys of coke?

Isn't that a little unusual?



- The lawyer thinks his client was set up.

- I better check on this.



- It's all there in black and white.

- In this job, I gotta cover my ass.



That's my point.

You could get my ass in a lot of trouble.



Uh, Captain Logan?



I got Hughes here with a request for

   keys of coke from the missionary bust.



(as Logan) One guy?



You are going to give millions

of dollars of evidence to one guy?






Where is his asshole partner? Hm?



Yes, sir.



- No way.

- Goodbye.



He says not to give you anything.

Not until your partner shows.



Logan just chewed my ass out.

What the hell is goin' on?



Now you can check out your evidence.

Sign the papers.



Sorry, folks. We're closing early tonight.

Come back another time.



- Thanks, Vinny.

- How many you figure?



- More than six apiece?

- Maybe.



I hate mosquitos.

Florida's filled with goddamn mosquitos.



- It's the humidity I hate.

- The only baseball is spring training.



They don't have a pro basketball

team. Or even thick pizza.



- I hate skinny pizza.

- You eat too much, you still lose weight.



A lotta old people there, too.

You go there, you get old and die.



- Oh, it's the law.

- All the white shoes...



- Yeah, and white belts.

- Sorry, fellas. We're closed.



- Shit.

- Hey, not tonight, guys, huh?



- Hey, man. You made us look bad.

- That arrest was fucked up.



Look, we're waiting for our dates.



Hey, another round here,

plus two Scotches, please.



(phone rings)



You're supposed to be showin' us

the ropes, not holdin' out on us.



- Let's go.

- What? Your girls get a better offer?



Two Scotches,

a Perrier and a Virgin Mary.



- Perrier?

- That's all they were drinkin'?



- That's it. $ .  .

- They're holdin' out on us.



I told him the swap had to be

in a public place. I insisted on it.



- What did he say?

- He agreed. I don't like it.



- Where?

- The State Building.



Why a government building

crawling with armed security?



So we won't try anything. We show a gun,

we'll be facing a dozen state troopers.



I'll take the bag in,

but they'll be watching every door for you.



I'll be there.



- We're treating this like any other bust?

- Yeah. Just don't be careful.



Hey, you neither.






You understand what I'm tryin' to say?



Juan. What the hell is goin' on here?



- Can I get to the top without being seen?

- You can't.



A freight elevator?

A fire escape? Anything?



- Just the window washers' rig.

- Shit!



Oh, my God.



No, no, no, no.

You don't get that till the girl goes free.



Very good.



- Now.

- Get down!



- Police officers!

- Don't shoot!



Shoot 'em!

They're with Gonzales! Shoot 'em!



Anna! Is your door open?



No. It's locked.



- Then you're gonna have to jump to me.

- No way. You jump.



Anna, your door is locked.

You are going to have to jump to me.



Hey, Julio!



You want your coke? Come and get it!



Here you go, boys!



No. No!



Come on, Julio. Here's your coke. Yeah!






My coke! My coke!



- Come on. Come and get it.

- Get my coke!



Here you go!



Come on!



Get my coke!



Anna, come on. Get up! Get up!



Come on, let's go.

Don't look down. Don't look down!



- Come on, jump. I'll catch you.

- You better.






That's right.



Take this. You'll be safe here.






Excuse me.






Good night, suckers.



I got him! I got him!



Bullshit! I got him!



Pardon me, Officer,

but I got him from right over there.



Well, this is a real topper. A topper!

I hit that man with every shot!



This is frightening. In other words,

you've hit everybody you ever shot at.



- No, I haven't hit everybody. But I hit him.

- Mm-hm?



- Uh-huh.

- Great. This is just great.



You did all right.

Not that we couldn't have.



Listen, man. I just wanna say...



Hey. We saved you.

Don't make it a big deal.



That's right. And if we had it

to do over again, who knows?



Freeze! Now, you drop your gun,

or these two right here, they're dead.



- I thought you got him.

- I thought you got him.



(both) Boom.



- You OK?

- Yeah, I'm OK. I'm not great, but I'm OK.



I got shot.



- It's about time.

- You got him.



- Nah, you got him.

- You're right.






So what happened to that dentist?



- Who?

- Right.



- Almost got us killed.

- You guys are crazy.



- I think they need a little more seasoning.

- They're still rough around the edges.



- Hm?

- Yeah.






- Will Chicago be safe in their hands?

- Oh, no.






Millions of people out there to protect.



Mm-hm. Yep. We owe it to this fine city.



Hey. You guys wanna buy a bar?



("Never Too Late to Start"

by the Rod Temperton Beat Wagon)






Ooh, yeah



Gettin' ready for the good times



Cos it's the only way to go



So get on up, lock into the rhythm



Let the music take control



- This is it

- Reach for that feeling



We need love tonight



No rhyme or reason



Is gonna stop us rockin' and reelin'



Oh, baby, come on



- Too late to start

- You know it's never too late



- Open up your heart

- Open up your heart now, baby



- Too late to start

- Ooh



- Get up

- You know, it's never too late to start



Ooh, it's time to take it to the nation



And let the power of love decide



We're gonna make it, baby, we can

shake it till the sun begins to rise



- This is it, now

- Reach for that feeling



Whoa, and we'll light the light



No rhyme or reason



Is gonna stop us rockin' and reelin'



- So baby, come on, yeah

- Too late to start



Hey, it's not too late



- Open up your heart

- Oh, open up your heart, now



- Too late to start

- Ooh



- Get up

- You know it's never too late to start



We're on a groove that never dies



Whatever happens, it's all right



There is no magic that we can't do



So take a chance

and let the love come shining through



- Too late to start

- No, it's not too late



- Open up your heart

- Not too late



- Too late to start

- Whoo



- Get up

- It's never too late to start



- Too late to start

- You know it's never too late



- Open up your heart

- Open up your heart, now



- Too late to start

- It's never too late to start



Special help by SergeiK