Silbling Rivalry Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Silbling Rivalry script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Kirstie Alley movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Silbling Rivalry. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Silbling Rivalry Script





This is the story...



of how I almost lived

my entire adult life...



in a functional coma...



instead of becoming the writer

I always dreamed I'd be...



like Sylvia Plath, only happy.



To be a writer

was my childhood dream...



but like my childhood,

the dream was sweet...



but mostly it was short.



My parents died

in a car accident...



leaving my sister

and me orphans.



My sister acted

like a brat at the funeral...



setting a life-Iong pattern...



of always doing and saying

whatever she felt.



As for me, the next twelve years

were very Ionely...






With this ring,

I thee wed.



His name was Harry Turner,

and we were in love.



I thought everything

was going to be perfect...



and it might have been,

except for one thing...



Harry was already married

to someone else...



his family.



Harry joined

their medical practice...



and although I had his hand

in holy matrimony...



they had his shingle.



Harry became a brilliant




who really knew his way

around an intestine.



See this part here?



To people on the outside...



I'm sure it looked like

we had a happy life together...



and for a while,

I thought we did, too.



I mean, things

weren't exactly...



the way I would

have liked them...



but I learned

to make compromises...



which is how we achieved

a balance in our marriage.



The problem is...



somewhere during

eight years of balancing...



I stopped thinking

of myself as me.



All I was was Harry's wife.



Hi. How are you?



We were one of those couples

who did everything together...



except communicate.



Good night, dear.



You didn't want

to make love, did you?



No, no. That's all right.






Sex wasn't everything,

but it was...



one of the few things we did

without Harry's family.



So when that began to fade,

I should have said something...



but I didn't know how.



Harry, I thought I'd make...



a nice, big pot roast

for your family tonight...



or turkey.



What do you think?






Harry, can you hear me?









Come on in, Iris.



Your front door was open.



I'm sorry.



You want some coffee?






Marjorie? Coffee.



I'll need some milk with that.



With milk.



What's this?



"We love you loads,

Uncle Charles."



The kids made it themselves.



How can they love him loads?



He left for Costa Rica

before they were born.



I think they're just proud

to have an uncle...



that helps so many people.



All doctors help people.



Charles travels all over

the world helping people.



I don't think all doctors

do that, Harry.



Here you go.



Just like you like it...

with one splash.






There's no problem.




Anyway, the kids

can't wait to meet him.



I can't, either.



It's so weird having

a brother-in-law...



that I don't even know.



It's weirder having

a brother you don't know.



What's that supposed to mean?



My own brother sends me

one letter in fifteen years.



When you're off winning

the Nobel Peace Prize...



you can't be expected to write

a bunch of letters.



Did Charles win

a Nobel Peace Prize?



He didn't win.

He was just nominated.



Why do you do this?



Do you think he'll like me?



Of course he'll like you.

You're Harry's wife.



Here you go. Low-fat.



Too late. Gotta go.

Got a C-section at  :  .



And I've got a polyp at  :  .



Hiya, doll.

How's my sweetheart?



Tired. Haven't seen you

in a while, Nick.



You been busy?



Yeah. Busy, busy, busy.



Having lunch

with my brother today.



He's here.






How's the fish fry?



I wouldn't eat it, honey.



Hey, Wilbur!



I hear the fish fry

is no good...



but I got a feeling

about the meat loaf.



Your landlord called me today.



You haven't paid your rent

in four months.



Your landlord says

you owe $     back rent.



I know.



And I'm going to go

over to his office...



after this lunch...



and pay him part

of what I owe him...



as a good faith kind of thing.



Good. How much you

going to give him?



$   .



Where are you going

to get the money?



Can you loan me     bucks?



No, just until I close this

big deal that I'm working on.



All right, Nick, look...



I'll tell you what

I'm going to do.



I'm going to lend you

the whole $    .



Oh, no, no. Wilbur,

I can't take that much!



Nick, you know I'm up

for chief of police.



I know.

I can't believe it.



But this kind of thing...



could really hurt

my chances, Nick.



You know, my brother

getting evicted...



for not paying his rent.






I'm under

a magnifying glass, Nick.



I got to get appointed

by the mayor.



You get to meet the mayor?



It's all public.

You could blow this for me.



You deserve

to be chief of police...



and I'm going to do everything

I can do to help, and...



because we're brothers, and...



I love you.



I love you,

I love you,



I love you,

I love you!



Yeah. You wanted to see me, Pat?



Shut the door.



You've been working for me

for three months today...



and you haven't sold

one set of blinds.



Can I sit down here?









Face it, Nick...



You're just not a salesman.



Oh, Pat, don't say that.



You're hurting me.



I gotta let you go.



No, Pat. No. Not yet!



You see, I...

I've got an appointment here...



and I'm going down now to...



I'm going to the Sheraton.



The Sheraton?



Yeah. I am going to put

an A-  Acme vertical blind...



in every window in every room

in that hotel.



But the Sheraton's got drapes.






Hi, J.



Hi. What's wrong?



Nothing. I just came by

to drop these off.






Because I thought

this would be...



a real good opportunity

for you to think about...



going to community college.



What are you,

my career counselor?



No. I'm your sister.



Jeanine, I just think...



that you can do

better than this.



I like fish.



Of course you like fish, because

you don't have to have...



a real relationship

with a fish.



I think you are

very, very unhappy...



and I'm glad we're

talking about it...



because I think you have a lot

of feelings bottled up inside.



What are you talking about?



Does Harry go down on you?



I didn't think so.



Please do not

talk to me like this.



I bet you've never come

even once in your life.



You just... Get back here,

young lady.



Listen to me.



This is why you don't

have a relationship!






This... that... because you are

so forward.



I'm not forward.

I'm honest.



Is that what you call it?



Is that why you're single,

making minimum wage?



I don't want a relationship.

I'm independent.



And as a matter of fact...



I have had

quite a few relationships.



No. To qualify

as a relationship...



it has to last

longer than    hours!



At least I didn't marry

the first guy who felt me up.



He isn't the first guy who...

I had some...



Could you grab those, please?



Do you love Harry?



Yes, I love Harry.

He is my husband.



Why don't you like him?



I like him.



It's just that his whole family

treats me like street scum.



They have never used

that exact term.



Ever since you met this guy...



your life got wrapped up

into this neat little package.



You even stopped writing.

You used to love to write.



That was a long time ago.



And I never was a real writer.



You wrote short stories.



Those weren't short stories.

Those were novels.



I just never finished them.



You started them a lot,

and since you got married...



you stopped even starting them.



This is ridiculous.



I know you were a virgin

when you got married.



Don't you ever wonder

if Harry's doing it right?



Harry is doing it fine!



And even if he weren't,

it's none of your business.



You know what you should do?

You should have an affair.






Then at least you'd have

some frame of reference.



Do you know something?



I have spent

most of my life...



pretending like

you are retarded...



just so I can stand

being related to you!



You dented your cheese.



Is this checkout line closed?



No. The cashier just went to get

my credit card approved.



She's going to let you use

a credit card to buy just that?



No. I'm buying one of those

fruit baskets over there.



This goes with that.



What do you think?



People really like

those kind of things?



I don't know.

I suppose so.



Would you like it?



I don't know!




You could use your anger

in a more productive way.



How's that?



You could help me

write this card.



It might calm you down.



What's the present for?



A party.



But I'm having second thoughts

about going.



OK. Everything's ready.

Your order's in.



Let's see...

I got the address.



They're making up your basket

in the back...



and we'll send it out

as soon as it's done.



OK. Thanks.



You done with that card yet?



Not yet.

I was just getting some help.



What do you say?



So then you don't really

want to go to this party?



No, not really.



I feel obligated, but...



Tell them to start without you.






That way, you know...



You could go late,

if you wanted to.




Bourbon and soda.






Why were you so angry?



I was just upset.



Somebody upset me... my sister.



You shouldn't

let her bother you.



She thinks that I need to...

improve myself.



You shouldn't pay so much

attention to your family.



Anyone can see that

you don't need improvement.



You don't know me.



Not that I don't appreciate...



that you think

that I don't need any.



I like you

much better this way.



How's that?



You're in a good mood now.



I think you put me

in a good mood.



How'd I do that?



I don't know.



I guess it's nice

to just, you know...



be able to just be myself.



Instead of?



Instead of what

I'm supposed to be.



- You know, good.

- Oops!



Oh... I'm Sorry.



What does that mean...




Sometimes people just think...



that you're always supposed

to act one certain way.



And that can just get

sort of tiring.



You're being good now?



I'm not.



I don't even know you...



And I never talk to strangers.



Are you always good?



Yeah, pretty much.

I try to be.



Did you ever try not to be?



I don't think anybody

would recognize me.



I don't think people

would really like it if...



if I wasn't being...

the person that they think I am.



So you're protecting everyone

from this other side you have.



Must be a pretty

dangerous side.



You been hiding yourself

for a long time?



As long as I can remember.



I bet it would be real nice

to let the real you out.



I don't even know

if I know how to do that.



Do you?



My, my, my Aunt Jemimah!



Sweet, sweet...



This is delightful.



Oh, my god,

you are truly gifted!



What is that you're doing?



That's good!

That's very good.



This is very pleasurable!



Ina gadda davida!



Are you a jogger?



I can't take any more.



God! Whoa, whoa!






Just take me...



This is so...



I can't take it anymore.



Yes, I can. I can.



Just give it to me.

OK, just...



Oh, god, rock and roll!



Is this all the mail

from yesterday?



Yes. I believe that'll be it.



I'll take care of it.



Hi, Don.

How's it going?



Mr. Diamond doesn't want

vertical blinds, Nick.



Mr. Diamond hasn't seen

my vertical blinds.



And because you and I are

old friends from high school...



I thought that

I'd give your boss...



first peek at the new line...



before I brought them

across town to the Hyatt.



There's no way, Nick.



There is a way, Donnie.



If I can hang them

in one of the rooms...



if Mr. Diamond can see

what they do for a window...



they sell themselves.



They sell themselves.



I think I just made up

for the last eight years.



I don't know your name...



and you don't know my name,

and that's good...



because this

can never happen again.



I hope it does...

but with my husband, not you.



I never had an...



I always knew

that I had it in me.



You just made me feel so...



Whatever you did was just so...



We've got to get up.



I have to go.



You going to wake up,

sleepy head?



Come on. Get up.



Oh, god!









All right.



Wrong key.



Oh, jeez!



This is my fault.

I'm sorry.



I'll get that.



I'm sorry. I'm fine.



No. Wait.



I don't believe this happened.



Look, here's your...



Here's your... things.



Thank you very much.

I'm sorry.



Your personal...









Oh, boy!



I can't believe this day!



The wallet!



Got to give it to Donnie.



Wait a minute.



Your... door's open.



I see you put up the sign.

Thanks, Harry.



Where have you been?



I've been...

I've been with my...



my sister.



What were you doing

with your sister?



You've got a dinner to cook.



I know that!



I have to take a shower.



Isn't your sister coming

to help you?




Yes, she's coming.



Of course she's coming.

Why wouldn't she come?



I'm a sinner!



I'm a killer sinner.



I'm a sinful killer!



Oh, god!

Forgive me, please!



Forgive me.



 - - - .



No, not...



 - - .






I'd like to make

an anonymous report.



Is that OK?



Yes, please.



I just thought

you should know...



that there is

a dead man in room    ...



at the Summit Bluff Sheraton.



Did you get all that?



Yeah, I got it.






Ma'am? Hello?



Ma'am, hello?



Summit Bluff Sheraton.

May I help you?



This is Officer Rodriguez

with the Summit Bluff police.



Let me talk to hotel security.



Mr. Diamond, the elegant choice

for the Nineties.



That's one.



Anybody in there?






Don't open the door!



Sorry. I'm just

getting undressed.



Hotel security.

Everything OK in there?



Yes. Everything's fine.



I'm here alone,

and nothing's wrong.



I got a call about some trouble

in this room.



I didn't call.

Haven't used the phone, so...



There's no trouble here.






Sorry to bother you.



Don't worry about it.



All right.






That's one.



The bracket...



Darn it, bracket!






Oh, my god!

I'm sorry!



I didn't know you were asleep.



Oh... blood!



Oh! Oh, boy!



You've been hurt!



All right. All right.

Just relax! Relax.









Oh, my god.

Oh, my god!



Oh... oh, My g...



Pulse. Pulse. Come on!



He's dead.



He's definitely...



He's definitely dead.



This isn't good.



This definitely isn't good.






What am I going to do?



I'll call the...



No, I guess I'll go to the desk

and tell them that...



I can't believe it!



Wait. Donnie won't like this.

Donnie won't like this.



I'll call...

I'll call...



I don't know who to call.



I remember this day.



I tried so hard not to cry.



I was so proud

of our new little Dr. Charles.



Charles Junior was

a very fine-Iooking young man!



I never realized how much

he looks like me.



Look at me.

Was I ever really that cute?



You must have been.

Look at you now.



Why wasn't I in this picture?



I think you were sick.

You were always getting sick.



Not me.



It's not me.



Not me.



It's never me.



It's me.



Honey, why don't you tell them

about your urethra.



I had to dilate

a urethra today...



One millimeter.



Here's your radishes.









May I speak

to Marjorie Turner, please?



This is she.



Yes. You don't know me,

but I have some bad news...



about your husband.



Your husband

has had an accident.



Hello? Hello? Hello?



Who was that?



Prank call.






Mrs. Turner...



your husband's had an accident

in his hotel room.



Who is this?



Mrs. Turner, he's had

a very severe accident.



You have the wrong number.



No, I don't.



Who was it?

A breather?



Sort of.






Mrs. Turner,

this isn't a joke.



So please don't hang up on me.



How do you know my name?



And where did you get

this phone number?



I found your wallet

here in the hallway...



and I have it in the hotel.



Thank you so much.



Let me just go check.

I'll be right with you.



Darn it.



You are correct.



Mrs. Turner...



I think your husband is dead.



Listen to me.

I need that wallet.



What about your husband?



Listen to me.

Just stay put.



I will meet you there

in    minutes.



And don't call anyone

until I get there.



Stay here.



Who was that?



I have to go out a minute.






Somebody found my wallet.



They're at the grocery store

waiting to pick it...



Would you get that, please?



You can't go now!



I have to!



It's got my license in it.

It has all my credit cards.



It has everything,

and they want me to come.



What about dinner?



You cook.



I don't cook.

I reheat.



Oh, god.

All right, I'll start.



You get over here.



This is chicken.

Here is the recipe.



We are making veal marsala.




Chicken marsala!



Take a piece

of chicken like this.



Slice, slice, slice, slice.



This afternoon, I cut out

half of a lower intestine.



It seemed like it was

a quarter of a mile long!



Where is Charles Junior?



He's late.

He said he'd be here at  :  .



It's only  :  .






Excuse me for a few minutes.



Where are you going?



Where's she going?



To... out. I'm going

to the grocery store.



I left my wallet there...



and the people

that work there...



would very much like me

to come and get it.



Can't your sister go

and pick it up...



No! Because...



I have to sign for it,

of course...



to prove that it's mine.



Can't you just wait

until my brother gets here?



I would like to make

a good impression.



I would like the whole family

here to greet him.



Who's going to cook dinner?



My sister.



Let's go out to eat.




Your sister can't cook.



Yes, she can. I just taught her.

It's just chicken, Harry.



There's Charles.



Dr. Turner?



What the...



If you'd just sign here, please.



I'll bet this is

from the polypectomy...



I did this morning.



The young lady

seemed very grateful.



Oh, it's lovely.



What does she say?



This is typical.

It's from Charles.






Charles sent fruit.

Isn't that sweet?



It's an hour late.

This isn't fruit.



This is a total lack

of consideration.



It looks like fruit to me.



What does the card say?



"Start without me."



He's going to be late.



All right, Mrs. Turner,

do you remember me?



I just wanted to tell you that

I didn't mean any of this...



and I know

you must be just...



But I just feel so terrible.



Do you have my wallet?



Pardon me?



My wallet.



I'm in the vertical

blinds business, right?



And I was doing

an installation here.



I'll show you.



I was like this,

working on the window...



and I didn't see him sleeping.






Yeah. I was having trouble

with this bracket...



which is not normally the case

with this particular model...



but I had to use force,

and I jammed up in there.



This got caught...



and I was pulling

and pulling and pulling...



and then it came loose

and... Oh, jeez!



Just about like that.






It came down right on him.



It stabbed him, really,

right in the left temple.



Right there.



At least he went in his sleep.



It was quick.

I doubt if he felt any pain.



Are you all right?



Do you want any...

Do you want any water?



No, thank you.



I guess I should just

call the hospital.



No, you can't do that!

You can't call the hospital.



Why not?



Because I can't bring him

to the hospital.



Why is that?



Because he's not my husband.



No... now, Mrs. Turner,

let's face the facts.



Sit down.



Your husband is a doctor.



Yes, he is, but...



No. I found his wallet,

and I looked in the I.D.



So I know he's your husband...

Dr. Charles Turner.



No. That is my...

This is...



He's my brother-in-law.



Let's stick with reality.



You both have

the same last name.



That's how we both

have the same last name.



I didn't know he was

my brother-in-law.



I had never met him...

until this afternoon.



I guess you two

just hit it off, then.



Yeah, we really did.



But my husband doesn't

know about this...



and I would be

ever so grateful...



if you could be here

when the police arrive.






Yeah, and you know what?



They wouldn't even have to know

that I was here today...



if you didn't want to tell them.



No, we can't call the police.



What I mean is, you can

call the police, but I can't.



I can't even be here

when the police arrive.



How come?



I just can't.



What are we going to do

about him?



Maybe if I call the hospital.



No, you can't call

the hospital, either...



because if you call

the hospital...



they will notify the police.



That's standard procedure.

I know that.



What about your family?

Can't you call anybody?



No! I can't call my family!

They would tell my husband...



and he would find out

that l... Oh, god!



What are we going to do?



I don't know. I don't know

what we're doing! God!



All right.

This is a definite tragedy...



but it's also an accident...



and I think we ought to not

lose sight of that.



He's dead!



I think we ought to not

lose sight of that!



Let's stay calm.



How am I supposed

to stay calm?



All right,

i'll tell you what.



I think we should

probably just...



I think we should

get rid of the body.



Did you say...



Get rid of the body?



Yeah. It's in both

of our best interest.



Get rid of the body.



Do you have a better idea?



No. I'm not real good

with stuff like this.



I don't want to be involved.

I really don't.



I don't think I should be

involved in this.



Why not?



Because I can't.

I can't! God! Lord!



If you run out on me now,

you're going to force me...



to call your real husband.



If you call my husband...



I'm calling the police!



Yes, I will!



Yes... I will.



Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.



All right.

All right...



I know there's

got to be a solution.



A suicide.



Lady, don't think like that.



There's got to be

a better way out.



Not me!




He's going to...



Know what we can use?






 L  .



  . Go ahead.



We got an emergency call

reporting a fatality...



only there's no victim

at the recorded address.



What's the cause of death?



Caller didn't say.

I thought you might want to...



check out the origin

of the call.



The lady seemed pretty upset.



I'll check it out.

What's the address?



   Oak Tree Road.



Excuse me, miss.

I'm Captain Meany...



with the Summit Bluff police.



I knocked on your front door.

You must not have heard me.



What's wrong?



I'm checking out

an emergency call.



It came from your address

about  :   tonight.



What emergency?



Do you live here?



No. My sister

and her husband do.



Are they at home?



No. They just left.



But my sister

should be back soon.



Do you mind if I ask you

a few questions?



Only take a couple of minutes.






Come in.



All right.



Let me see if I've got




You came over

at approximately  :   p. m...



to help your sister cook

for a dinner party...



and shortly thereafter,

everyone decided to eat out.






Are you sure it's a woman

who made the phone call?






Because it definitely wasn't

my sister's in-laws.



That family receives

crank calls.



They don't make them.



That leaves

you and your sister.



I know I didn't make

any crank call.



And I know my sister would never

make a crank call...



believe you me.



But I know you probably

can't just take my word for it.



I like to be thorough.



But I'll tell you...



Sometimes I go

on instinct alone.



I believe in instinct, too.



It's always right, isn't it?



   % of the time.



Thanks for the coffee.



It's tea.



What? You're kidding.

This is tea?






Son of a gun, it is tea!



Usually I hate tea,

but this is good.



I used two bags.



That's your trick.



I don't usually cook.



I don't have the time

because I have this career.



That's understandable.

Thanks for the...



What do you do?



I work at Carl's Fish Fair.



I've been there.



I never saw you there.



Probably because the day

I was there, you weren't there.



Because I'd have remembered you.



Thank you.



I gotta go.



You want to make sure

you lock this after I go.



Good night.



Good night, captain.



How's this?



"My darkness descends

deeper than I knew it could.



"Enveloped in the blackness,

I search for some light.



"Maybe now...

Maybe this time."



That's beautiful.



You really think so?



I was really touched.

I really believed it.



Thank you.



I hope everybody else

believes it.



They definitely will.



Do you think anyone

might recognize the handwriting?



No. I wrote like a doctor.



Where did you get all of these?



From my husband, the doctor.



He's a doctor?



The whole family...

they're all doctors.



They get these

samples of drugs...



from these drug companies,

free of charge.



I've got a lot of blue ones

in there now...



and a lot of the red ones.



You think I ought to...



There's some more white ones.



Yeah, use them all.



Just stuff them down there.



There they are.



All right. I think

that about does it.



Good. You have that done,

and I have this, and...



Were you absolutely sure

that you got all these deals?



What's that?



The protection.



How many were used?












He had been out of the country

for a very, very long time.



I see.



We found four so far.



Oh, rats!

Did you check the shower?



Yes, I already got

the one in the shower.



Already got the shower.

OK, we were...






Do you have any idea...



where that fifth one

might have been applied?



Did you check out here

on the balcony?



No, you got that one already.



Yeah, I already got that one.

Let me see...



Found it!



What? He's still wearing it?



Go ahead. Just...



I'm not taking it off.



You certainly can't expect me

to take it off.



You ought to do something...



because that's not

a very appropriate thing...



for a suicide.



I'm just absolutely not

taking it off.



You are more familiar

with him than I am.



Yes, but you have

done this before.



I mean, this kind of thing

you have done.



Haven't you sort of done this?



I've taken them

off me personally...



but I've never taken them

off another man.



Why don't you pretend

like he's you?



No. This is where

I draw the line.



All right. Fine.

I will do it myself.



God, it's no big deal!



I sort of think you're acting

like a little bit of a baby.



It's just a body.



A body is just a house

God gives us to live in.



That's all our body is.



And then we go away

to a different place...



and we don't live

in our house anymore.



Now, see? There.

Was that any big deal?









What are you doing here?



I just thought

I'd stop by and say hello.



Say hello?



Yeah. I really need

something to drink.



And maybe we could

have a little talk.



Good. Because I really

need to talk.



You need to talk?

You never need to talk.



I'm always the one

that needs to talk.



Do you got one of those

"not really beers" in here?



It's on the door.






I've earned this tonight.



I met a woman tonight.






So did I, only I can't

really date this one.



We're sort of

in a business deal together...



because of a certain event.



I don't know what

she sees in me, but...



we talked for over an hour.



She made me feel important.






The woman I met tonight.




I think you're important.



You think I'm important...



because I'm always getting you

out of trouble.



She's different.



She doesn't want

anything from me.



I don't want anything from you.



Just sit down.



One of the reasons

why I came over here tonight...



was I wanted

to find out about... tea!



You're drinking tea.



Yeah. Tea's good.



This girl is younger than me,

but in a lot of ways...



she's more independent

than I am.



She really understands me.



I understand you.



And I like who I am

when I'm with her.



Wilbur, about this

chief-of-police thing...



What if something...

minor happened?



What's the most minor thing

that could happen...



and you'd still be OK?



Are you in trouble again?



No, no!

I was just wondering.



Her name is Jeanine.



I gotta call her.



No, I was just wondering if...



I was wondering how much...



accidental manslaughter

will hurt your chances.






When did you find out?



We got the call this morning.



Someone from the hotel

housekeeping staff found him.



Why was he staying

in a hotel, anyway?



He was supposed

to stay with us.



I spent over $   ...



on new slipcovers

for the guest room.



Maybe he was too depressed

to be with anybody.



How would she know?



Marjorie gets depressed




Yeah. Every now and then,

I get a little blue.



What on God's earth did Charles

have to be depressed about?



Charles is gone.

I can't believe he's gone!



Why did he do it?



He left this note.



A note?



"My darkness descends deeper

than I knew it could."



"Enveloped in the blackness,

I search for some light."



"Maybe now...

Maybe this time."



What a beautiful note!



Did you really like the note?



Of course we like the note.



What kind of

a question is that?



A very insensitive one!



He should have been here,

where he belonged...



with his family

at his coming-home party.



Maybe he didn't

want to be here.



I have never seen you

this talkative before!



Children, I'm afraid

there are still...



certain details to discuss.



The funeral...



Before we get into that,

I was thinking about...



The organ donation center...



You know what I was thinking?



I was thinking that Charles

would have liked it...



if we donated

his organs to science.



Iris, that's

an excellent idea!









Do you really think

that's necessary?






Yes, I think it's appropriate.



Otherwise, I wouldn't

have suggested it.



Yes. My Charles

would have liked that.



Thank you, Iris.



Guess what.



I met this guy.

I think I really like him.



You always think you like them

for    hours.



You always do this.



Do what?




something good happens...



you have to find something bad

to say about me.



That's not true.



Then try being happy for me

for once, OK?






So, tell me about him.



He's not like the men

I usually date.



He has a job?



Yeah. And we haven't

known each other that long...



but we talked all night

on the phone.



And get this...

he loves fish.



Not only that,

but he has a tank.



It's small, but he says

he wants to get a bigger one.



He sounds really committed

to his fish.



It's more

than just fish, though.



We're getting

to know each other.



He told me about

his two old girlfriends.



I'm telling him

about my past relationships.



The weirdest thing is,

I owe it all to you.



What do you mean?



I met him at your place

last night...



and I'm nuts about him.



Last night?



Yeah. After you all left...



he came around

investigating a crank call.






Does he work

for the telephone company?



Nope. He's a cop.



Cop? A policeman?



There was a policeman

in my house last night?



Yep. And I am going to be

at his house tonight.



Why didn't you tell me this?



I forgot.



Does Harry know?



No. I was going to call

you guys and tell you...



only Wilbur called...

that's his name, Wilbur...



and we talked all night,

so I thought I'd tell you today.



This is just like you!



It's no big deal.



Only he still

needs to talk to you.



Me? Why?



There was

this crank call made...



and he said they traced it

back to your house.



What do you mean

by a crank call?



A     call.



Oh, lord.



Don't worry. I told him

it was a mistake.



Did he believe you?



Of course!

Why wouldn't he?



I just knew something like this

was going to happen.



Wilbur needs to talk to you

about this crank call...



on account of he's up

for police chief...



and he wants to cover

all his bases.



Only I don't want you to say

anything bad about me, OK?



I really like this guy.

All right?






What's wrong?












Marjorie, are you OK?



Yes. I'm just

a little emotional.



I missed choir practice

this morning...



and I just hate myself!



I hate to sound

like a broken record...



but I know how to cure you

of these moods of yours.



I don't think so.



You should get rid of Harry

and have an affair.



As soon as you and Harry

clear things up...



then you won't be

so jealous of me.



I am not jealous of you!



Oh, yeah?

Then why are you crying?



I am crying because

Harry's brother died.



Oh, please! You didn't

even know Charles.



I knew him!



Right. You knew of him,

but you didn't really know him.



I really knew him.



I killed him!




do you have your period?



Are you listening to me,

god damn it?



You never curse!



Oh, Lord, forgive me.



Now I have two things

to confess in church this week.



What are you talking about?



I knew him

in the biblical sense.






I met him, and we did it!



You had sex

with your brother-in-law?



It was not sex.

It was good!



And, Jeanine... I had one.



One what?



You know...



I don't believe this!



You said you killed him.

How'd you kill him?









I had an affair

because you told me to!



Excuse me. Excuse me.

I'm saying excuse me!




this is so bizarre.



I know. I must have been

too powerful for him.



He had himself a heart attack!



While you were...






I think it was after.

I hope it was after.



Howie, is that you?






Iris. And Harry.



Just checking in.



You two shouldn't be in here.

This is highly irregular.



Calm down, Plotner.



Just going to make sure

our brother is in good hands.



Yeah, but you shouldn't

be in here. It's unethical.



The chest cavity appears to be

within normal limits.



Do you want to do this?



This is a funny thing.



Must be one

of those pills he took.



There's a whole clump of them

in his esophagus.



They didn't get digested.



None of these got digested.



What are you doing?

Get out of there!



Look at this.



Looks like an eraser.



From a pencil.



It's an eraser from a pencil.



Your brother was a weird guy.



Plotner, you got a second?






Oh. Harry.






Take a look at this.

I don't understand it.



Charles was

an excellent doctor.



Why would he

try and kill himself...



with a thousand milligrams

of stool softener?



He tried to kill himself

with a laxative?



That and     milligrams...



of a nonsteroidal




That's for menstrual cramps.



I know.




aspirins, muscle relaxants...



vitamin tablets...

all in small dosages.



I don't get it.



Your brother...



wasn't he doing immunization

work in South America?






He was brilliant.



Then he would have had access

to some very lethal medications.



I know. So why would he

take that stuff?



It's like he raided

somebody's medicine chest.



You might as well know.



I don't think that Charles

committed suicide.






Harry, why do you say that?



For one thing, there was

scar tissue on the heart.



That usually indicates

a heart attack.



Heart attack.



Also, there were some signs

of sexual activity.



What about the suicide note?



That's the only thing

I can't understand...



because the lab reports

came back...



and the drugs that Charles took

are all highly suspect.



What's wrong

with the drugs he took?



Can't they kill you?



They'll give you the runs,

numb your ovaries...



and give you a very relaxed take

on your situation...



but they won't kill you.



I don't see why you have to

turn this into a police case.



Charles is dead.



Why don't you just let it be

and bury the man?



I can't, Marjorie.

I can't bury him...



until I find out

what happened.



Hi, Jeanine.



Hi. How you doing?



Good. Come on in.



I brought you something.



You didn't have to

bring anything.



I made a whole dinner.



No, it's not food.

It's a scavenger.



Take care of

any algae problems.



Where's your tank?



Right over there.

It's a bowl, actually.



A scavenger, huh?



That's great, because sometimes

I get a little algae.



A little?



That's very sweet of you.



This guy's going to have

a good time tonight.



I'm just going

to float him.



Let him get used

to the temperature.



Where's your brother?



I don't know. I don't even know

if he's coming.



But dinner's all ready.

Maybe we should just eat.




He's just a little late.



Besides, I like it

when we're alone together.



I wanted you to meet

my brother up front.



Here, sit down.



I didn't want you to think...



that I was keeping

anything from you.



What would you

be keeping from me?



My brother.



What's wrong with him?




It's just that...



sometimes he has a hard time

holding onto a job...



or paying a bill.



I love spaghetti.



It's my specialty.



It's not that

my brother is lazy.



It's just that he isn't...



Isn't as accomplished as you?



That's not it.



Actually, I wish

he was more like you.



Do you know that...



you're the most independent

woman I've ever met...



that liked me back.



I know what it's like...



to be following

in someone's footsteps...



who is always doing

the right thing...



and constantly being judged

by their standards.



Maybe I am judging him

by my standards.



I'm sure your brother

would love to be like you...



but it doesn't sound

like he is.



That's it. For years,

I've hated feeling...



like I had to take

care of him.



Don't take care of him.

Just be his brother.



You're right.

That's what I've got to do.



Let's eat.



You don't really need

to meet my brother.



Just like you don't really have

to meet my sister.



Feed me.



Yes, ma'am.



You want sausage,

or do you want meatballs?






You got it.






what's your feeling

on this prank call?



Your gut feeling?



It's nothing, I guess.



Wilbur, go with your gut.

Remember how often it's right.









Yeah. I'm sorry to wake you,

but I'm in jail.



I've turned myself in.



What for?



I killed a man.






It was by accident,

but he's dead.






What? What is it?



It's nothing.



Did you say that you...






I was in a hotel room

doing an installation...



and things went bad.



Oh, my god.

The hotel room.



That's my prank call!



The man's name

was Charles Turner.



I didn't even know him.



Oh, my god! You?

That was you?



I need a lawyer,

if you know any.



I hate to keep

leaning on you...



but I don't know how I'm going

to find one from in here.



Yeah, yeah.

I'll take care of it.






Will, I'm sorry.

When I get out of here...



after I've served my time...



I'm going to be

the greatest salesman ever...



and I'm going to pay you back

all the money I owe you.









I love you, Will.



Yeah. Right.



I know who killed Charles.



You do?



This is very difficult.



Look, Wilbur, this has nothing

to do with us. Really.



I know you're nothing

like your brother...



just like I'm nothing

like my sister. Nothing at all.






I know, but it was

an accident.



There's a lot

at stake here, Wilbur.



How do you know?

You don't even know Nick.






My brother.

He killed Charles.






It was an accident.

He turned himself in.



That's why he didn't

show up for dinner.



He's in jail.

My little brother's in jail.



Wait a minute, now.

Just calm down, Wilbur.



I got to get a lawyer

and get him out.



He can't stay in jail.

He's not streetwise.



He could get killed in there.



How did you know

it was an accident?



I don't know.

I just thought...



I don't know.

You said that it was.



I got to find a lawyer.



What about you?



What about becoming

chief of police?



Five minutes ago, I wanted to be

chief of police...



more than anything

else in the world.



All the times

that he needed help...



I helped him because

I felt I had to.



Now I want to!



I don't care

if he did it or not.



He's my brother.

Screw the job.









Honey, where have you

been all night?



At the lab, and then

at the police station.



What were you doing

at the police station?



Is there any coffee?






Anybody home?



In here.



What are they doing here?



I've called a family meeting.



What for?



Your front door was open.






Do you want coffee?









Don't move.

I'll make it.



This isn't going

to take long, I hope.



I've got two back-to-back

pap smears at  :  .



No, it's not.

I just want to wait...



until mother and dad get here

to explain.



I don't want to have

to say it twice.



Your front door is open.



Iris left it open.



What's the big news?



Sit down.



I've been working

with the police...



on Charles' case,

as you all probably know, and...



We've found a murder suspect.



You did?



Who was it?



A salesman.



What kind of a salesman

would kill Charles?



A blinds salesman.



How could a blind salesman...



No, he sold blinds, dad...



and he dropped them

on Charles' head.



He claims it was an accident.



Oh, lord!



How do you know all this?



He turned himself in, confessed.

He even apologized.



He confessed?






What about the suicide?



This guy said he panicked...



and set it up to look

like Charles killed himself.



Oh, my lord!

He said that?



Harry said he confessed.

That's what confessed means.



I knew it.



I knew my Charles would never

take his own life.



Marjorie, I've got to

talk to you alone!



Jeanine, not now.



My boyfriend's brother

is in jail.



Jeanine, I said not now!



He is in jail

for killing Charles!







What are you saying?



That your boyfriend's brother

killed my brother?



Wait a minute. Your boyfriend

is Nick's brother?



Nick? I didn't

say his name.



- How do you know his name?

- How do you know Nick?



I always thought

she was too sweet...



not to be hiding




Wilbur was up

for chief of police, OK?



That's why Nick

couldn't go to the police.



How do you know Nick?



Nick is in jail.

He could be there for years.



Obviously where he belongs.



Marjorie, you got to help me.

Wilbur's a wreck.



I can't stand

to see him like this.



You love him, don't you?



Yeah, I do.



I really think

that you should leave.



Harry, I have something

to tell you...






What is it?



Harry, I need to talk

to you alone.



If you have something to say,

just say it now.



Harry, I need to talk

to you by yourself!



Just tell me!



I can't!



There should be no secrets

in this family!



God damn it, what is it?



I had an affair!



Harry, I'm sorry.



I'm sorry from the bottom

of my soul.



I'm sorry.



You're sorry?



Sorry is just not good enough

for my brother!



I knew it... from the day

he brought her home.



Harry... I wish

I could take it away.



I know how much

this hurts you.



Who was it?



I only slept with him once.



Just once.



But it...



It apparently made

quite an impact on him.



You were right about her.



Throw her out, Harry.



You don't have to

put up with this!



God damn it, Marjorie!

I'll kill him!



Harry, don't.



If I were you, Harry,

I'd kill both of them!



Let her go, son.

She's not worth it!



Who is he?



Harry, can't we talk

about this alone?



No! Who is he?



Who is he?






What does she mean "was"?



Are you telling me it's over?

Is that it?



He's out of your life now?



She'll do it again.



If they do it once,

they always do it a second time.



That god damn son of a bitch!

Who is he? Who is he?






Charles is the man I slept with.



My brother Charles?



She slept with my Charles?



I don't believe it.



I thought you told me

Charles was dead.



He is dead!



That's disgusting!



No, no!



He died when we were doing...



I don't think

we should be hearing this.



Yes. Yes, we should.



But the note.



Charles left

that beautiful note.



I wrote the note.









Because I didn't

want Harry to find out.



Because the second I did it...



I knew I'd made

a horrible mistake...



and I didn't want to lose him.



Of course you'd lose him,

you... slut!



Shut up, Iris!

Just shut up!



All of you! This is between

me and my wife!



You're one of us, son!

She isn't.



This concerns

all of us, Harry.



She isn't.

She's never been one of us.



Shut up!



Shut up. Shut up!



Now get the hell

out of my house!



Are you asking us

to leave your house?



Yes, mother.






I don't want to be here.



We're due at the hospital...

where we're wanted.






Come on.



Marjorie, I'm so sorry.



Are you going to be OK?



I'll call you later.









can't you forgive me?



How many others were there

besides my brother?






And the first guy

who comes along...



you do it to him to death?



Eight years!



Eight years of marriage,

I have been faithful.



How did you think...

How could you possibly think...



that you could keep this

hidden from me?



Were you waiting for some

special opportunity to tell me?



Like my birthday?



Do you think I haven't

had opportunities?



Because, boy, have I had...



There have been women

I've never even told you about.



They're everywhere.

The way they look at me...



in my waiting room,

outside the E.R.



Two years ago, at the colon

convention in Atlanta...



a blonde hematologist

put her room key in my hand.



Suite     .

And I gave it back!



Was I stupid!



What are you doing?



What? You think

you're going to leave me?



I'm not going

to let you leave me.



I'm leaving you!



Harry did leave me.



The truth is,

it didn't matter who left whom.



I was alone,

and I was scared.






My sister suggested

I see a doctor.



Maybe you ought to go

see a doctor, huh?



That was really

the wrong thing to say.



I was desperate

to talk to Harry...



to tell him the truth about

what I did and why I did it...



and how sorry I really was

and that I loved him.



I found myself

in a full-blown depression.



I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't eat.



I couldn't stop

thinking about Harry.



I didn't know where he was.



Harry hadn't just

disappeared from my life...



but with a few deft turns

of a screwdriver...



he disappeared

from his family's life, too.



I used to worry a lot about

Nick, but I didn't have to.



His dream came true...



in the same room

where his nightmare began.



Mr. Diamond, I'm sorry.



But we haven't

been able to rent    ...



since this scandal started.



Of course you haven't.

Would you want to sleep...



in a bed where a stiff slept?



No. It's god damn creepy.



Get the god damn door

open, you fool.



What the hell

is going on here?



Who the hell is that?



I don't know, Mr. Diamond.



Just what do you think

you're doing up there?



I was just getting my blinds...



Put up here.



I heard there was

a tragedy in the room...



and I thought that it might

freshen it up a bit.



What do you think?



You sold the Sheraton?



I told you I'd do it

if you gave me enough time.



Sit down.



You're having lunch with me!



Nick really did turn out

to be a top-notch salesman...



and I've got a house

full of blinds to prove it.



Wilbur became chief of police.



My sister found herself

in a relationship...



that lasted

way more than    hours.



I knew it was serious...



when she moved her

  -gallon tank into his house.



As for me, I couldn't control

my feelings anymore.



So I tried to contain

them on paper...



After I figured out

how to use a typewriter.



Six months passed before I

realized I hadn't lost my mind.



I never thought I would be able

to be alone and be OK...



but I was.



I am good!



When I finished writing,

I let Jeanine read it.



She loved it.



I love it!

This is so good!



She really loved it.



I wasn't sure anyone else

would like it the way she did...



but Jeanine was positive

it could get published...



so I just let her take care

of the details.



The tables

had really turned...



because now she was

giving me career advice.



I waited patiently

for some response to my work.



Finally, I got my first call.









Who's this?



It's me. Harry.






Wow! You sound different.






I'm older.

I had a birthday.



Yeah. I got you a card.



I didn't get it.



I didn't mail it.






Listen, I read your thing.



What thing?



Your story.



You know..."Still Life

in Summit Bluff."



How did you get ahold of...



Jeanine thought

I should read it.



That little bitch.






You never swore.



I'm doing a lot of things

that I never did before.



I am, too.



By the way, I finally

took your advice.



You opened your own practice?



In Sausalito. I'm even

making house calls now.



That's great!












What did you think of my story?



I loved it.



You did?



Yeah, I did,

especially that part...



where the idiot doctor

neglected his wife...



and drove her into the arms

of his cousin.



I mean, that part...









I owe you an apology.



You owe me?






Harry, I betrayed you.

I had the affair.



I wasn't much of a husband.



I know, but I could have

said something.



I probably wouldn't

have heard you.



I guess it's just lucky

you finally wrote it.



Yeah. It's getting

terrific response.



I'm not surprised.



Who have you heard from?






Marjorie, do you think...



that maybe

we could get together...



and talk about things?



I guess so.












Can I call you?



Yeah, sure, if you want to.



OK, then... I'll call you.


















You said I could call.



I like your beard.






You look like

you did in school.



So do you.



Can I come in?















How's your heart?


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