Voila! Finally, the Singin In The Rain
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Gene Kelly movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Singin In The Rain. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Singin ' in the rainJust singin ' in the rainWhat a glorious feelin 'We're happy againWe'll walk down the laneWith a happy refrainAnd singin 'Just singin ' in the rainThis is Dora Bailey...... talking to you from the ChineseTheater in Hollywood.What a night, ladies and gentlemen.
Every star is here. . .
. . .for the premiere of The Royal Rascal
the outstanding event of .
Everyone breathlessly awaits. . .
. . .the arrival of Lina Lamont
and Don Lockwood.
Look who's arriving now.
lt's that famous ''zip'' girl
of the screen. . .
. . .the darling of the flapper set,
Zelda Zanders!
Zelda! Oh, Zelda!
Her new red-hot pash,
J. Cumberland Spendrill lll. . .
. . .that well-known eligible bachelor.
Zelda's had so much unhappiness,
l hope this time it's really love.
And here comes that
exotic star, Olga Mara!
And her new husband,
the Baron de la Bonnet de la Toulon.
They've been married two months already,
but still as happy as newlyweds.
Well, well, well.
lt's Cosmo Brown!
Cosmo is Don's best friend.
He plays piano on the set
for Don and Lina. . .
. . .to get them into
those romantic moods!
Oh, folks, this is it!
The stars of the picture,
those romantic lovers of the screen. . .
. . .Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont!
Ladies and gentlemen,
when you look at this couple. . .
. . .it's no wonder
they're a household name.
Like ''bacon and eggs. ''
''Lockwood and Lamont. ''
Don, tell me confidentially,
are these rumors true. . .
. . .that wedding bells will ring
for you two?
Lina and l have no statement
to make now. We're just good friends.
You've come a long way together.
Tell us how it happened.
Lina and l have made
many pictures together--
Oh, no, Don.
l want your story from the beginning.
Dora, not in front of all these people!
The story of your success
is an inspiration. . .
. . .to people all over the world.
Please!
Well, any story of my career. . .
. . .would have to include
my lifelong friend, Cosmo Brown.
We grew up together,
worked together.
Yes?
Well, Dora, l've had one motto
which l've always lived by:
''Dignity. Always dignity. ''
This was instilled in me by Mum and Dad
from the very beginning.
They sent me to fine schools,
including dancing school. . .
. . .where l first met Cosmo.
And with him, l used to perform
for Mum and Dad's society friends.
They used to make such a fuss over me.If I was good, I was allowedto accompany Mum and Dad to the theater.They brought me up on Shaw......Molière, the finestof the classics.
To this was added rigorous
musical training. . .
. . .at the Conservatory of Fine Arts.
We rounded out our apprenticeshipat an exclusive dramatics academy.And at all times...... the motto remained:''Dignity.Always dignity. ''In a few years, we were readyto embark on a dance concert tour.We played the finestsymphonic halls in the country.Fit as a fiddle and ready for loveI can jump over the moon up aboveFit as a fiddleAnd ready for loveHaven 't a worryHaven 't a careFeelin ' like a featherThat's floatin ' on airFit as a fiddleAnd ready for loveSoon the church bells will be ringin 'And a march with Ma and PaHow the church bells will be ringin 'With a hey-nonny-nonnyAnd a hot-cha-chaHi diddle diddleMy baby's okayAsk me a riddleAnd what does she say?Fit as a fiddleAnd ready for loveAudiences everywhere adored us.
Get out of here!
Finally we decided to cometo sunny California.We were stranded--We were resting up...... when movie studio offersstarted pouring in.We sorted them out and decidedto favor Monumental Pictures.
Lina, you hate him. Resist.
Keep the mood music going.
Now, Phil, come in.
Keep on grinding.
Now you see her. Now here's the bit,
Bert, where you get it on the jaw.
Cut! No, no!
That wasn't right!
You're supposed to go over the bar
and crash into the glasses! Again!
Okay, Bert? Bert!
Oh, that's swell, just swell.
Take him away, fellas!
We've lost
more stuntmen on these pictures!
lt'll take hours to get
a new one from casting.
Mr. Dexter, l can do that.
-You're a musician.
-That's a moot point.
No kidding!
What's your name?
Don Lockwood, but people
call me Donald.
Wise guy, huh?
Okay, l'll try you.
Get this guy into Bert's suit!
And remember, Lockwood, you might be
trading that fiddle in for a harp.
Camera!
Phil, come in. Now you see him.
That's it.
Here's where you get it
on the jaw.
Cut!
That was wonderful!
-Got any more chores you want done?
-Plenty!
Okay.
My roles in these films were urbane......sophisticated, suave.
And of course,
all through those pictures. . .
. . .Lina was, as always,
an inspiration to me.
Warm and helpful.
A real lady.
Hello, Miss Lamont.
l'm Don Lockwood, the stuntman.
lt was a thrill working
with you, Miss Lamont.
Hey, Don.
Meet the producer
of the picture, R.F. Simpson.
l saw some rushes and asked Dexter
who the stuntmen were.
He said they were all you. l'm putting
you and Lina together in a picture.
Come by later
to discuss a contract.
Thanks, Mr. Simpson!
Are you doing anything tonight,
Miss Lamont?
That's funny.
l'm busy.
Lina and I have had the samewonderful relationship ever since.
But most important of all,
l continue living up to my motto:
''Dignity.
Always dignity. ''
Thank you, Don.
And l'm sure you and Lina will continue
making movie history tonight. . .
. . .in your greatest picture,
The Royal Rascal.
Get enough, boys?
She's so refined. . .
. . .l think l'll kill myself.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, thank you.
We're thrilled at your response
to The Royal Rascal.
We had fun making it, and we hope
you had fun seeing it tonight.
We screen actors aren't much good
at speaking in public.
So we'll just act out our thanks.
-lt's a smash!
-Don, Lina, you were gorgeous!
-Lina, you looked good for a girl.
-What's the big idea?
Can't a girl get a word in edgewise?
They're my public too!
The publicity department. . .
. . .thought it'd be better
if Don made all the speeches.
Why?
You're beautiful. Audiences think
your voice matches.
We gotta keep our stars
from looking bad at any cost.
-No one's got that much money.
-What's wrong with how l talk?
Am l dumb or something?
No, but Don's had
so much more experience--
Next time, write me out a speech.
l could memorize it.
Sure. Why don't you recite
the Gettysburg Address?
What do you know about it,
you piano player? Are you anybody?
Donnie, how can you let him talk
to me like that, your fiancée?
My fia--
Lina, you've been reading
those fan magazines again.
Look, you shouldn't believe
all that banana oil. . .
. . .that Dora Bailey dishes out.
Now, try to get this straight:
There is nothing between us.
There has never been
anything between us.
-Just air.
-Oh, Donnie, you don't mean that.
We'll be late for R.F.'s party.
Better go in separate cars
to break up the mobs. Come on.
Ta-ta, Donnie! See you there!
''Donnie. ''
Can't that girl take a gentle hint?
Haven't you heard? She's irresistible.
She said so.
l can't get her out of my hair.
This romance for publicity. . . .
The price of fame. You've got glory.
Little heartaches go with it.
Look at me. l got no glory.
l got no fame. l got no mansions.
l got no money. But l've got--
-What have l got?
-l don't know.
l gotta get out of here.
Don't tell me. lt's a flat tire.
This car hasn't given me trouble
in nearly six hours.
-Hey, there's Don Lockwood!
-Hey, give me an autograph!
-Give me your autograph!
-l want a souvenir!
l want a souvenir too!
You're playing rough here!
You're tearing my--!
Hey, Cos, do something!
Call me a cab!
You're a cab.
Thanks a lot!
-Keep driving.
-Get out!
-Everything's all right!
-l'll call a cop!
-Just a few blocks.
-Don't hurt me!
-l'm not a criminal.
-l don't care--
You are a criminal!
l've seen that face. You're a gangster!
l've seen your picture in the paper
or in the post office. Officer!
-This man jumped in my car and--
-Why, it's Don Lockwood!
-Don Lockwood?
-How are you? Out for a ride?
Just a lift. My car broke down.
l got surrounded by--
-You're a lucky lady. Anything wrong?
-No.
-No, l should think not. Good night.
-Good night, officer.
Thanks for saving my life.
l'll get out now.
l'm driving to Beverly Hills.
Can l drop you someplace?
l'd like to get out of this suit
if you're going by Camden and Sunset.
Yes, l am.
l'd like to know whose
hospitality l'm enjoying.
Selden. Kathy Selden.
Enchanted, Miss Selden.
l'm sorry l frightened you.
l was getting a little
too much love from my fans.
That's what you were
running away from.
They did that to you?
That's terrible!
Yes. Yes, it is, isn't it?
lt is terrible.
Well, we movie stars get the glory. . .
. . .we have to take
the little heartaches that go with it.
People think we lead lives
of glamour and romance. . .
. . .but we're really lonely.
Terribly lonely.
l can't tell you how sorry l am
about taking you for a criminal.
But it was understandable, under
the circumstances. l knew l'd seen you.
Which of my pictures have you seen?
l don't remember. l saw one once.
-You saw one once?
-You were dueling.
And there was a girl. Lina Lamont.
l don't go to the movies much.
lf you've seen one,
you've seen them all.
-Thank you.
-Oh, no offense.
Movies are entertaining enough. . .
. . .but the screen personalities
don't impress me.
They don't talk or act.
They just make a lot of dumb show.
Well, you know.
Like that.
You mean, like what l do.
Well, yes.
Here we are, Sunset and Camden.
Wait, you mean l'm not an actor?
-Pantomime isn't acting?
-Of course not.
Acting means great parts,
wonderful lines, words.
Shakespeare. lbsen.
What's your lofty mission in life that
lets you sneer at my humble profession?
-l'm an actress. On the stage.
-Oh, on the stage.
l'd like to see you.
What are you in?
l could brush up on my English
or bring an interpreter.
lf they'd let in a movie actor.
l'm not in a play now.
But l'm going to New York--
You're going to New York,
and someday we'll all hear of you.
Kathy Selden as Juliet,
as Lady Macbeth, as King Lear!
You'll have to wear a beard!
At least the stage
is a dignified profession.
Why are you so conceited?
You're nothing but a shadow on film.
You're not flesh and blood.
-Stop!
-What can l do? l'm only a shadow.
Keep away from me! Just because
you're a big movie star. . .
. . .you expect girls to faint
at your feet. Don't touch me!
Fear not, sweet lady.
l will not molest you.
l am but a humble jester. And you?
You are too far above me.
Farewell, Ethel Barrymore.
l must tear myself from your side.
ls this R.F. Simpson's house?
l'm one of the Coconut Grove girls.
-Yes, the floor show. Around the back.
-Oh, l see. Thank you.
-Nice party, R.F.
-Thanks, Roscoe.
You really think
you can get me in the movies?
-l should think so.
-Really?
-Hello, Don. The picture's great.
-l loved your picture.
-Did you come by way of Australia?
-Hello, Cos. Excuse me.
Cos, tell me the truth.
Am l a good actor?
While l work for Monumental,
you're great.
-No kidding. You can tell me.
-What's the matter? You're good.
Keep telling me from time to time.
l feel a little shaken.
The new Don Lockwood.
-Hi, R.F.
-lt's colossal. Where have you been?
There you are. Where were you?
l was lonely.
-Hello, Lina.
-Okay, fellas. Hold it.
Together again, my two little stars,
Don and Lina.
No kidding, folks, aren't they great?
All right, open that screen.
-A movie? We just saw one.
-Gotta show one at a party. lt's a law.
Everybody, l've got
a few surprises for you.
All right, sit down, sit down.
This'll make you laugh.
There's a madman coming
into my office for months--
-You got that gadget working?
-All set.
Okay, let her go.
Hello.This is a demonstrationof a talking picture.Notice, it is a picture of meand I am talking.Note how my lipsand the sound issuing from them......are synchronized together......in perfect unison.
-Who's that?
-Somebody's behind that screen.
-Come out, Mr. Simpson.
-Oh, no. l'm right here.
My voice has been recordedon a record.A talking picture.Thank you. Goodbye.
Well?
-lt's just a toy.
-lt's a scream!
-lt's vulgar.
-You think they'll ever use it?
l doubt it. Warners is making
a picture with it, The Jazz Singer.
-They'll lose their shirts.
-lt won't amount to a thing.
They said that about
the horseless carriage.
Let's get on with it.
Okay, boys.
Come on, my little starlets.
l have a surprise.
A special cake.
l want you kids
to have the first piece.
Well! lf it isn't Ethel Barrymore!
l do hope you'll favor us with something
special. Say, Hamlet's soliloquy. . .
. . .or a scene from Romeo and Juliet?
Don't be shy.
You make about the prettiest Juliet
l've ever seen. Really.
All I do is dream of youThe whole night throughWith the dawn I still go onDreaming of youYou're every thoughtYou're everythingYou're every song I ever singSummer, winter, autumn and springAnd were there more thanTwenty-four hours a dayThey'd be spent in sweet contentDreaming awayWhen skies are grayWhen skies are blueMorning, noon and nighttime tooAll I do the whole day throughIs dream of youIt's the cat's meow!All I do the whole day throughIs dream of you
l had to tell you how good you were.
Now that l know where you live,
l'd like to see you home.
-Listen, Mr. Lockwood--
-Say, who is this dame anyway?
Someone lofty and far above us all.
She couldn't learn anything from
the movies. She's a stage actress.
Here's one thing l've learned
from the movies!
-l'll kill her!
-Lina, she was aiming at me!
-You never looked lovelier.
-lt was an accident.
-lt happens to me six times a day.
-Where is she?
Donnie?
Excuse me.
Where'd Miss Selden go?
She grabbed her things and bolted.
Anything l can do?
Sorry. l don't have time to find out.
Kathy! Hey, Kathy!
Keep it going.
More steam in the kettle!
More action, boys. More rhythm.
More steam and more water.
-Hi, Maxie.
-Hi, Don.
Good morning, fellas.
Did you read Variety today?
'' The Jazz Singer.
All-time smash in the first week. ''
-All-time flop in the second.
-We start today.
-Good luck.
-Thanks.
l'm now Count Pierre de Battaille,
the Duelling Cavalier.
-What's it about?
-The French Revolution.
You're an aristocrat.
She's a girl of the people
and won't give you a tumble.
Well, it's a living.
Good morning.
Keep the background moving. Hit him.
Knock him down!
Get up there and hit him again.
Hurry!
Why bother?
Release the old one under a new title.
You've seen one, you've seen them all.
-Why'd you say that?
-What?
That's what that Kathy Selden
said to me.
That's three weeks ago.
Still thinking about that?
-l can't get her out of my mind.
-How could you?
She's the first dame
not to fall for you in ages.
-She's on my conscience.
-lt's not your fault she was fired.
-l've got to find her.
-You've been trying to.
Short of sending out bloodhounds.
Come on, snap out of it.
Don't let this get you down.
You're Don Lockwood.
And he's an actor, isn't he?
What does an actor learn?
''The show must go on, come rain,
come shine, come snow, come sleet! ''
The world's so fullOf a number of thingsI'm sure we should allBe as happy as--But are we? NoDefinitely, noPositively, noDecidedly, noShort people have long facesLong people have short facesBig people have little humorLittle people have no humor at allIn the words of that immortal bardSamuel J. SnodgrassAs he was being ledTo the guillotineMake 'em laughMake 'em laughDon 't you know everyone wants to laughMy dad said, ''Be an actor, my sonBut be a comical one''They'll be standin ' in linesFor those old honky-tonk monkeyshinesNow you could study ShakespeareAnd be quite eliteAnd you could charm the criticsAnd have nothing to eatJust slip on a banana peelThe world's at your feetMake 'em laughMake 'em laughMake 'em laughMake--Make 'em laughDon 't you know everyone wants to laugh?My grandpa said,''Go out and tell 'em a jokeBut give it plenty of hoke''Make 'em roarMake 'em screamTake a fall, butt a wallSplit a seamYou start off by pretendingYou're a dancer with graceYou wiggle till they're gigglingAll over the placeAnd then you getA great big custard pie in the faceMake 'em laughMake 'em laughMake 'em laughMake 'em laughDon 't ya--?All the--What--?My Dad--They'll be standing in linesFor those old honky-tonk monkeyshinesMake 'em laughMake 'em laughDon 't you know everyone--?Make 'em laughMake 'em laughMake 'em laughMake 'em laughMake 'em laughMake 'em laugh
Ready, Don?
-All set.
-Here we go again.
-We have another smash here.
-l hope so.
-You're darn tootin' .
-Where's Lina?
Here she is, Mr. Dexter.
Well! Here comes our
lovely leading lady now.
This wig weighs a ton.
Who'd wear a thing like this?
-Everybody wore them.
-Then everybody was a dope.
-You look beautiful.
-You look great. Let's get to the set.
Thanks, Joe.
l looked for you at Wally Ray's party.
Where were you?
l've been busy.
l know you've been busy.
Looking for that girl.
-As a matter of fact, yes.
-Why?
-l've been worried about her.
-You should've worried about me.
l'm the one who got
whipped cream in the kisser.
But you didn't lose your job.
She did.
Darn tootin' she did.
l arranged it.
What?
They weren't gonna fire her,
so l told them to.
-Why--
-Don, now remember.
You're in love with her
and have to overcome her shyness.
Cosmo, mood music.
Roll 'em!
Okay, Don.
Now enter.
You see her.
Run to her!
Why, you rattlesnake, you.
You got that poor kid fired.
That's not all l'm gonna do
if l ever get my hands on her.
l never heard of anything so low.
Fine. Looks great.
What did you do it for?
Because you liked her. l could tell.
So that's it.
Believe me, l don't like her
half as much as l hate you.
You reptile.
Sticks and stones may break my bones.
l'd like to break every bone
in your body.
You and who else, you big lummox?
Now kiss her, Don.
That's it. More.
Great! Cut!
You couldn't kiss me like that and
not mean it a teensy-weensy bit.
Meet a great actor.
l'd rather kiss a tarantula!
-You don't mean that!
-l don't--?
Joe, bring me a tarantula.
Listen--
Stop that, lovebirds.
-Let's get another take.
-Hold it!
Hello, Mr. Simpson.
-We're really rolling.
-You can stop rolling at once.
-All right, everybody! Save it!
-Save it? We're shutting down.
Well, tell them!
Go home until further notice!
What is this?
-What's the matter?
-The Jazz Singer, that's what.
Oh, my darling little mammyDown in Alabamy
lt's no joke. lt's a sensation.
The public wants more.
-More what?
-Talking pictures.
-lt's just a freak.
-We should have such a freak.
l told you talking pictures
were a menace.
We're going to make The DuellingCavalier into a talking picture.
l'm out of a job. l can start
suffering and write a symphony.
We'll make you head
of the music department.
Then l can stop suffering
and write a symphony.
Wait! Talking pictures!
You should wait--
Every studio's doing it. All the theaters
are putting in sound equipment.
-We know nothing about it.
-What's to know?
You do what you always did.
Just add talking.
Believe me, it'll be a sensation.
''Lamont and Lockwood. They talk! ''
Well, of course we talk.
Don't everybody?
I got a feelingYou're foolingI got a feelingYou're havin ' funI get the go-byWhen you are done foolin ' with meIt's a holiday, today'sThe Wedding of the Painted DollIt's a jolly dayThe news--Should I reveal exactly how I feel?Should I confess--?I got a feeling you're foolingI got a feeling you're--It's a holiday, today's--Should I revealExactly how I feel?Beautiful girlYou're a lovely pictureBeautiful girlYou're a gorgeous mixture
Who's that? She looks familiar.
l've featured her in nightclub shows.
She'd be good as Zelda's sister.
Excuse me.
There may be blonds and brunettesThat are hard to resistYou surpass them like a queenYou've got those lipsThat were meant to be kissedAnd you're over sweet Beautiful girlWhat a gorgeous creatureBeautiful girlLet me call a preacherWhat can I doBut give my heart to you?A beautiful girlIs like a great work of artShe's stylishShe's chicAnd she also is smartFor lounging in her boudoirThis simple plain pajamaHer cloak is trimmed with monkey furTo lend a dash of dramaAnyone for tennis?Well, this will make them cringeAnd you'll knock 'em dead at dinnerIf your gown just drips with fringeYou simply can 't be too modestAt the beach or by the poolAnd in summertime, it's organdyThat'll keep you fresh and coolYou'd never guess what loud applauseThis cunning hat receivesAnd you'd never dream the thingsThat you could hideWithin these sleevesA string of pearls with a suit of tweedIt's started quite a riotAnd if you must wear fox to the operaDame Fashion says, ''Dye it''Black is best when you're in courtThe judge will be impressedBut white is right when you're a brideAnd you want to be well-dressedBeautiful girlFor you I've got a passionBeautiful girlYou're my queen of fashionI'm in a whirlOverMy beautiful girl
-That's stupendous!
-Thanks. Kathy, come here.
This will start a trend
in musicals.
Mr. Simpson might cast you
as Zelda's sister.
That's wonderful!
-Hey, Kathy! That's Kathy Selden.
-Thanks anyway. lt was nice of you.
-Wait a minute.
-That's okay.
Before Mr. Lockwood
refreshes your memory. . .
. . .l hit Miss Lamont with the cake.
lt was meant for Mr. Lockwood.
l'm sorry.
l should've told you.
Wait. What's this all about?
We were gonna use her, but if
it'd make you unhappy--
-Unhappy? lt's wonderful.
-He's been looking for her!
Do you speak for Lina too?
The Coconut Grove's owner
may do what Lina says. . .
-. . .but you're the head of this studio.
-Yes, l am. She's hired.
Don't let Lina know she's here.
Take care of that.
Thank you!
l'm glad you turned up. We've looked
inside every cake in town.
-ls it okay for you to be seen with me?
-Lofty star with humble player?
Not exactly. Don't you usually
have lunch with Miss Lamont?
Look, Kathy. All that stuff
about Lina and me is publicity.
Oh? Certainly seems more than that. . .
. . .from what l've read in all
those articles in the fan magazines.
Oh, you read the fan magazines?
l pick them up in the beauty parlor
or at the dentist, just like anybody.
Honest?
-l buy four or five a month.
-You buy four or five. . .?
To get back to the point. . .
. . .you achieve an intimacy
in all your pictures--
Did you say all my pictures?
l guess l've seen
eight or nine of them.
Eight or nine. lt seems to me
l remember someone saying:
''lf you've seen one,
you've seen them all. ''
l did say some awful things
that night, didn't l?
No, l deserved them.
Of course, l must admit
l was pretty much upset by them.
So upset that l haven't been able
to think of anything but you ever since.
Honest?
Honest.
-l've been pretty upset too.
-Kathy, look, l. . . .
Kathy, seeing you again now that l. . . .
l'm trying to say
something to you, but l. . . .
l'm such a ham.
l'm not able to
without the proper setting.
-What do you mean?
-Well. . . .
Come here.
This is the proper setting.
-Why, it's just an empty stage.
-At first glance, yes.
But wait a second.
A beautiful sunset.
Mist from the distant mountains.
Colored lights in a garden.
Milady is standing on her balcony,
in a rose-trellised bower. . .
. . .flooded with moonlight.
We add kilowatts of stardust.
A soft summer breeze.
You sure look lovely
in the moonlight, Kathy.
Now that you have the proper setting,
can you say it?
l'll try.
Life was a songYou came alongI've laid awakeThe whole night throughIf I but daredTo think you caredThis is whatI'd say to youYou were meant for meAnd I was meant for youNature patterned youAnd when she was doneYou were all the sweet thingsRolled up in oneYou're likeA plaintive melodyThat never lets me freeBut I'm contentThe angels must have sent youAnd they meant youJust for meBut I'm contentThe angels must have sent youAnd they meant youJust for me
Now. . . .
Ta, te, ti, toe, too.
Ta, te, ti, toe, too.
No, no, Miss Lamont. . .
. . .round tones, round tones.
Now let me hear you read your line.
''And l can't stan' 'im. ''
And l can't stand him.
And l can't stan' 'im.
Can't.
Can't.
Can't.
Can't!
Can't. Can't.
Very good. Now:
''Around the rocks
the rugged rascal ran. ''
-Around the rocks the rugged--
-No, no. Rocks. Rocks.
Around the rocks
the rugged rascal ran.
-Very good.
-Hi, Don.
-Shall l continue?
-Don't mind me.
Now.
''Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter. . .
. . .seized his knees and sneezed. ''
-Sinful Caesar snipped his sifter--
-Sipped his snifter.
Sipped his snifter.
Oh, thank you.
Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter,
seized his knees and sneezed.
-Marvelous.
-Wonderful.
Here is a good one.
''Chester chooses chestnuts,
cheddar cheese with chewy chives.
He chews them and he chooses them.
He chooses them and he chews them. . .
. . .those chestnuts, cheddar cheese
and chives in cheery, charming chunks. ''
-Wonderful! Do another one.
-Thank you.
''Moses supposes his toeses
are roses. . .
. . .but Moses supposes erroneously.
Moses, he knowses
his toeses aren't roses. . .
. . .as Moses supposes his toeses to be. ''
''Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously. ''
But Moses, he knowses
his toes aren't roses. . .
. . .as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
A mose is a mose.
A rose is a rose.
A toes is a toes.
Moses supposes his toeses are rosesBut Moses supposes erroneouslyMoses, he knowsesHis toeses aren 't rosesAs Moses supposes his toeses to beMoses supposes his toeses are rosesBut Moses supposes erroneouslyFor Moses knowsesHis toeses aren 't rosesAs Moses supposes his toeses to beA rose is a roseIs a rose is a rose isA rose is what MosesSupposes his toes isCouldn 't be a lilyOr a taffy daffy dillyIt's gotta be a rose'Cause it rhymes with ''mose''MosesMosesMoses''A ''
All right, here we go.
Quiet!
Roll 'em!
Oh, Pierre. You shouldn 't have come.
She's gotta talk into the mike.
l can't pick it up.
Cut!
-What's the matter?
-lt's Lina.
Look, Lina, don't you remember?
l told you.
There's a microphone right there. . .
. . .in the bush.
You have to talk into it.
l was talking.
Wasn't l, Miss Dinsmore?
Yes, my dear. But please remember,
round tones.
''Pierre, you shouldn't have come. ''
Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
-That's much better--
-Hold it a second.
Now, Lina, look.
Here's the mike.
Right here in the bush.
Now, you talk towards it.
The sound goes through the cable
to the box.
A man records it
on a big record in wax. . .
. . .but you have to talk
into the mike first.
ln the bush!
Now try it again.
-Gee, this is dumb.
-She'll get it. Don't worry.
We're all nervous the first day.
lt'll be okay.
You know the scene where l say,
''lmperious princess of the night''?
l don't like those lines.
Can l say what l always do?
''l love you. l love you. l love you. ''
Sure. Any way it's comfortable.
But into the bush!
Again! Quiet!
Roll 'em!
Cut! We're missing
every other word.
You've got to talk into the mike!
Well, l can't make love to a bush!
All right, all right.
We'll have to think of something else.
What are you doing?
-You're being wired for sound.
-What?
Watch out for those dentalized D's
and T's and those flat A's.
-Everybody's picking on me.
-Okay, now look at this flower, see?
The mike is in there.
That's it.
The sound will run from it. . .
. . .through this wire, onto the record.
lt'll catch whatever you say.
Now let's hear how it sounds, Lina.
Okay, quiet!
Roll 'em!
Oh, Pierre, you shouldn 't have come.You're flirting with danger.
-What's that?
-lt's picking up her heartbeat.
Swell.
Cut!
That's right. That should do it.
Now, don't forget.
The mike is on your shoulder.
Whatever you say goes
through the wire onto the record.
Now, please, Lina, talk into the mike.
Don't make any quick movements or you
might disconnect it. Okay, let's go.
Quiet.
Roll 'em.
Oh, Pierre, you shouldn't have come.
You're flirting--
What's this doing here?
lt's dangerous.
-You'd better not go in together.
-Lina's probably right inside the door.
-Oh, how l wish--
-Don't worry.
l'll lead the cheers in the balcony.
Good luck.
-Mr. Lockwood.
-Hello.
-What's that? The storm outside?
-lt's those pearls, Mr. Simpson.
I am the noblest lady of the court,second only to the queen.Yet I am the saddestof mortals in France.-What is the matter, milady?-I can 't stand the baron.He's such a catch.All the ladies of the courtwish they were in your shoes.My heart belongs to another.
Sounds good and loud, huh?
Oh, Pierre!You shouldn 't have come.You're flirting with danger.They will surely find you out.Your head is much too valuable.
She never could remember
where the microphone was.
'Tis Cupid himselfthat called me here......and I......smitten by his arrow......must fly to your side......despite the threatsof Madame Guillotine.But the night is full of our enemies.
You hitting him with a blackjack?
Imperious princess of the night......I love you.I love you.I love you. I love you. I love you.I love you....
Somebody got paid for writing that?
Sounds like a comedy.
-lt's a Lockwood-Lamont talkie.
-What?
This is terrible.
-What's that?
-The sound is out of synchronization!
-Tell them to fix it.
-Yes, sir.
What's this? Yvonne?Captured by Rouge Noirof the Purple Terror?Oh, my sword!I must fly to her side!Yvonne, Yvonne......my own.Pierre will save me. Pierre!Pierre is miles away, you witch.No, no, no.Yes, yes, yes.-No, no, no.-Yes, yes, yes.
-This is a scream.
-Give me The Jazz Singer.
''l love you, l love you,
l love you. . . . ''
-We're all ruined.
-You can't release this.
We're booked to open
in six weeks all over.
But you're such big stars,
we might get by.
l never wanna see
Lockwood and Lamont again.
-Wasn't it awful?
-This is the worst picture ever made.
l liked it.
Well, take a last look at it.
-lt'll be up for auction tomorrow.
-You're out of your mind.
No bank will foreclose
until Monday.
-lt wasn't so bad.
-That's what l said.
There's no kidding myself.
Once they release The DuellingCavalier, we're through.
The picture's a museum piece.
l'm a museum piece.
-lf you just get the technical end--
-No, it wasn't that.
This is sweet of both of you, but l--
Something happened to me tonight.
Everything you said
about me is true.
l'm no actor.
l never was.
Just a lot of dumb show.
l know that now.
At least you're taking it lying down.
No kidding. Did you ever see anything
as dumb as me on that screen?
Yeah. How about Lina?
l ran her a close second.
Maybe it was a photo finish.
l'm through.
You're not through.
Of course not. With your looks,
you could drive an ice wagon.
-Or shine shoes. Sell pencils.
-Block hats. Dig ditches.
Or go back into vaudeville.
Fit as a fiddle and ready for loveI could jump over the moon up aboveFit as a fiddle and ready for love
Too bad l didn't do that
in Duelling Cavalier.
-Why don't you?
-What?
-Make a musical.
-A musical?
Sure. Make a musical.
The new Don Lockwood.
He jumps about to music.
The only trouble is,
after Duelling Cavalier...
. . .nobody'd come to see me jump off
a building into a damp rag.
Turn The Duelling Cavalier
into a musical.
-Duelling Cavalier?
-Sure.
There's six weeks before
it's released.
Add songs, trim bad scenes,
add new ones.
And you got it.
-Hey, l think it'll work.
-Of course!
lt may be crazy, but we'll do it.
The Duelling Cavalier is now a musical.
-Hot dog!
-Hallelujah!
Whoopee! Fellas, l feel this is
my lucky day, March .
-Your lucky day's the th.
-What?
lt's : already.
lt's morning!
Yes. And what a lovely morning!
Good mornin '-Good mornin '-We've talked the whole night through-Good mornin '-Good mornin ' to youGood mornin ', good mornin 'It's great to stay up lateGood mornin 'Good mornin ' to youWhen the band began to playThe stars were shining brightNow the milkman 's on his wayIt's too late to say good nightSo good mornin 'Good mornin 'Sunbeams will soon smile throughGood mornin 'Good mornin ' to youAnd you and you and youGood mornin ', good mornin 'We've gabbed the whole night throughGood mornin 'Good mornin ' to youNothing could be granderThan to be in LouisianaIn the mornin 'In the mornin 'It's great to stay up lateGood mornin 'Good mornin ' to youMight be just as zippyIf we was in MississippiWhen we left the movie showThe future wasn 't brightBut came the dawn, the show goes onAnd I don 't wanna say good nightSo say good mornin 'Good mornin 'Rainbows are shinin ' through-Good mornin '-Good mornin '-Bonjour!-Monsieur!-Buenos días!-Muchas frías!-Buon giorno!-A ritorno!-Guten Morgen!-Guten Morgen!Good mornin ' to youOlé!Toro!
-Hey, we can't make this a musical.
-What do you mean?
Lina.
She can't act, she can't sing
and she can't dance. A triple threat.
-What's so funny?
-l was just thinking.
l liked her best when the sound went
off and she said, ''Yes, yes, yes. ''
''No, no, no. ''
''Yes, yes, yes. ''
''No, no--''
Wait a minute.
l am just about to be brilliant.
Come here, Kathy. Come here.
Now, sing.
l said sing.
Good mornin 'Good mornin '
Don, keep your eyes
riveted on my face.
Good mornin 'Good mornin ' to you
Watch my mouth.
Good mornin ', good mornin 'It's great to stay up lateGood mornin 'Good mornin ' to you
Well, convincing?
Enchanting. What?
Don't you get it?
Use Kathy's voice.
Lina moves her mouth
and Kathy sings for her.
Wonderful!
-l couldn't let you do it.
-Why not?
You'd be throwing away
your own career.
lt's not about my career.
lt's only for this picture.
The important thing is to save
The Duelling Cavalier. . .
. . .save Lockwood and Lamont.
Well, all right, if it's only
for this one picture, but. . . .
-You think it'll get by?
-lt's simple to work the numbers.
Just dance around Lina
and teach her how to bow.
We'll spring it on R.F.
in the morning.
Don, you're a genius.
l'm glad you thought of it.
Oh, Cosmo.
Good night, Kathy. See you tomorrow.
Good night, Don.
Take care of that throat.
You're a big singing star now, remember?
This dew is just a little heavier
than usual.
Really?
From where l stand, the sun is shining
all over the place.
I'm singin ' in the rainJust singin ' in the rainWhat a glorious feelin 'I'm happy againI'm laughin ' at cloudsSo dark up aboveThe sun 's in my heartAnd I'm ready for loveLet the stormy clouds chaseEveryone from the placeCome on with the rainI've a smile on my faceI'll walk down the laneWith a happy refrainJust singin 'Singin ' in the rainDancin ' in the rainI'm happy againI'm singin 'And dancin ' in the rainI'm dancin 'And singin 'In the rain
Why, that's wonderful!
We'll keep it secret until release. . .
. . .in case it doesn't come off.
l'm worried about Lina.
-She doesn't like Miss Selden.
-Lina won't even know she's on the lot.
Boys, this is great.
The Duelling Cavalier can be saved.
Now, let's see.
The Duelling Cavalier with music.
The title. . . .
The title's not right.
We need a musical title. Cosmo?
The Duelling Mammy.
l've got it.
-The Dancing Cavalier!
-That's it. The Dancing Cavalier.
-Remind me to make you a writer.
-Thanks. Have a cigar.
Thanks.
Now, what about the story?
We need modern musical numbers.
We throw a modern section in.
The hero's a hoofer on Broadway.
He sings and dances.
One night, he's reading Tale ofTwo Cities. A sandbag hits him.
He dreams he's in
the French Revolution.
This way, we get in
the modern dancing.
But in the dream,
we still use the costumes.
Sensational! Cosmo,
remind me to give you a raise.
Give me a raise.
He holds her in his armsWould you?Would you?He tells her of her charmsWould you?Would you?They met as you and IAnd they were only friendsBut beforeThe story endsHe'll kiss her with a sighWould you?Would you?And if the girl were IWould you?And would you dare to sayLet's do the sameAs theyI wouldWould you?And would you dare to sayLet's do the sameAs theyI wouldWould you?
Perfect! That Selden girl is great.
l'm gonna give her a big buildup.
-Swell!
-How much is left?
-One number.
-What number?
lt's a new one. For the modern part,
called ''Broadway Melody. ''
lt's the story of a hoofer
who comes to New York.
First, we set the stage with a song.
lt goes like this.
Don 't bring a frown to old BroadwayYou gotta clown on BroadwayYour troubles thereThey're out of styleFor Broadway always wears a smileA million lightsThey flicker thereA million hearts beat quicker thereNo skies of grayOn that Great White WayThat's the BroadwayMelodyGotta danceGotta danceGotta dance-Gotta dance-Gotta danceGotta danceGotta danceBroadway rhythmIt's got meEverybody danceBroadway rhythmIt's got meEverybody danceOut on that Gay White WayAnd each merry caféOrchestras playTaking your breath awayBroadway rhythmIt's got meEverybody sing and danceOh, that Broadway rhythmOh, that Broadway rhythmWhen I hear that happy beatFeel like dancin ' down the streetTo that Broadway rhythmWrithing, beatingRhythmGotta danceGotta danceWhen I hear that happy beatFeel like dancin ' down the streetWhen I hear that happy beatFeel like dancin ' down the streetWhen I hear that happy beatFeel like dancing down the streetGotta danceGotta danceGotta danceThat's the BroadwayMelody
That's the idea.
What do you think?
l'll have to see it on film first.
-On film, it'll be better.
-Don't forget.
Have Selden re-record
Lina's dialogue.
-lt's all set up.
-And remember, don't let Lina know!
All set in there?
Nothing can keep us apart.Our love will lasttill the stars turn cold.
All right, Kathy. Go ahead.
Nothing can keep us apart.Our love will lasttill the stars turn cold.
That's great! Perfect. Cut.
Till the stars turn cold.
Oh, Kathy, l love you.
l can't wait till this picture's finished.
l'm gonna let Lina and everyone know.
Your fans will be
bitterly disappointed.
From now on, there's only
one fan l'm worried about.
There!
-What did l tell you?
-Thanks, Zelda. You're a pal.
l want that girl off the lot!
She ain't gonna be my voice.
Zelda told me everything.
-Thanks, Zelda. You're a real pal.
-Anytime.
Look, Don and l--
Don! Don't you dare call him Don!
l was calling him Don
before you were born.
l mean--
You were kissing him!
l was kissing her.
l happen to be in love with her.
That's ridiculous! Everybody knows
you're in love with me.
Now look, Lina.
Try and understand this.
l'm going to marry her.
Silly boy.
She ain't the marrying kind.
She's a flirt trying
to get ahead by using you.
l'll put a stop to that!
l'm gonna go up and see R.F. right now!
The picture's finished. lf she weren't
in it, you'd be finished too.
She's the only one who's finished.
Who'll hear of her?
Everybody. Why do you think
Zelda's in such a sweat?
-Kathy nearly stole the picture.
-She's only doing you a favor.
And she's getting
full screen credit for it too.
lt'll say on the screen
l don't talk and sing for myself?
Of course. What do you think?
-They can't do that.
-lt's done.
-There's a publicity campaign planned.
-Publicity?
They can't make a laughingstock
out of Lina Lamont.
What do they think l am,
dumb or something?
Why, l make more money. . .
. . .than Calvin Coolidge. . .
. . .put together!
''Monumental Pictures enthusiastic
over Lina's singing pipes. ''
l never said that.
''Premiere tomorrow to reveal
Lina Lamont big musical talent. ''
You can't pull a switch
like this on us.
We were prepared for Selden.
Now this. At least keep us informed!
Wait. l don't know anything
about this.
-What are we gonna do?
-Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
You wouldn't wanna call the papers
and say Lina Lamont is a big fat liar.
Did you send this out?
l gave an exclusive story
to every paper in town.
Rod, call the papers back.
-l wouldn't do that if l were you.
-Don't tell me what to do.
What do you think l am,
dumb or something?
-l had my lawyer go over my contract.
-Contract?
And l control my publicity, not you.
The studio is responsible
for every word printed about me.
lf l don't like it, l can sue.
What?
l can sue.
lf you tell the papers
about Kathy Selden. . .
. . .it would be ''detrimental
and deleterious'' to my career.
l could sue you for the whole studio.
-That's a lot of nonsense.
-Says so.
Right here.
Contract dated June
paragraph subdivision letter A.
''The party of the first part--''
-That's me.
-You win, Lina.
-We better take Kathy's credit off.
-All right, go ahead.
Let's just get this premiere over with.
Satisfied?
There's just one little thing more.
Want me to change the studio's name
to Lamont Pictures, lnc.?
R.F., you're cute.
Now, l was just thinking.
You've given her a part
in Zelda's picture. . .
. . .and she'll get
a bigger one in the next.
-So what?
-So. . . .
lf she's done such a grand job
doubling my voice. . .
. . .don't you think she ought to
go on doing just that?
-And nothing else.
-You're crazy.
l'm more important
to the studio than she is.
l wouldn't do that to her.
You'd take her career away.
People don't do that.
People?
l ain't people.
l am a. . . .
''A shimmering, glowing star
in the cinema firmament. ''
lt says so. . .
. . .right there.
Oh, Pierre, Pierre, my darling.At last, I've found you.Pierre, you're hurt.Speak to me, speak to me.I'll kiss her with a sighWould you?Would you?And if the girl were IWould you?Would you?Oh, Pierre, hold mein your arms always.
-Lockwood's a sensation.
-Yes, but Lamont! What a voice!
lt's going over wonderfully, isn't it?
Our love will lasttill the stars turn cold.And would you dare to sayLet's do the same as theyI wouldWould you?
R.F., it's a smash!
-Congratulations. We owe you a lot.
-Thanks.
-We made it!
-lt's a miracle!
lt's great, just great.
You were fabulous.
You sang as well as Kathy.
-And l'm gonna for a long time.
-What do you mean by that?
l mean she's gonna go
right on singing for me.
Listen, Lina.
l thought something was cooking
beneath those curls.
Kathy has got a career.
This is the only time.
That's what you think.
-Come on, come on.
-Lina's getting carried away.
Listen, you boa constrictor.
Don't get any fancy ideas. Tell her!
Never mind! Listen to that applause.
Wait till the money rolls in.
You won't give that up because
a nobody don't wanna be my voice.
-She's got something. lt's a gold mine.
-Part of that choice is mine.
And l won't do it.
You've got a contract.
You'll do what R.F. says.
Why don't you tell her off?
This thing is so big--
-They're tearing the house apart.
-Take a curtain call.
Can l have my cigar back?
Listen! l'm an avalanche!
Selden, you're stuck.
lf this happens, get a new boy.
l won't stand for it.
They'd come see me
if l played opposite a monkey!
Don's a smash too. l'll say
a few words. l still run the studio.
l'm not so sure!
You're Mr. Producer,
running things, running me.
From now on, as far as l'm concerned,
l'm running things.
Lina Lamont Pictures, lnc., huh?
You've gone a little too far.
-They're yelling for a speech.
-A speech?
Everybody always makes
speeches for me.
Tonight, l'm gonna do my own talking.
l'm gonna make the speech!
-No, please!
-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
This is Lina's big night
and she's entitled to do the talking.
-Right?
-Right.
Ladies and gentlemen.
l can't tell you how thrilled we are
at your reception. . .
. . .for The Dancing Cavalier,
our first musical picture together.
lf we bring a little joy
into your humdrum lives. . .
. . .we feel as though our hard work
ain't been in vain for nothing.
Bless you all.
-She didn't sound that way.
-Cut the talk, Lina. Sing!
l got an idea. Come here.
Now, listen.
What am l gonna do?
We've got it. Get a mike
back of that curtain.
Kathy! Kathy will stand back
from there and sing.
She'll be back singing, and l'll be
in front. . .like in the picture?
-Right.
-You've gotta do it. lt's too big.
She's got a five-year contract with me.
Get over to that mike.
You heard him, Kathy. Now do it!
l'll do it, Don.
But l never want to see you again. . .
. . .on or off the screen.
Now, come on, Lina.
What are you gonna sing?
-''Singing in the Rain. ''
-''Singing in the Rain. ''
''Singing in the Rain. '' ln what key?
A-flat.
A-flat.
I'm singin ' in the rainJust singin ' in the rainWhat a glorious feelin 'I'm happy againI'm laughin ' at cloudsSo dark up aboveThe sun 's in my heartAnd I'm ready for loveLet the stormy clouds chaseEveryone from the placeCome on with the rainI've a smile on my faceI'll walk down the laneWith a happy refrainAnd singin 'Just singin ' in the rainI'm singin ' in the rainJust singin ' in the rainWhat a glorious feelin 'I'm happy againI'm laughin ' at cloudsSo dark up aboveThe sun 's in my heartAnd I'm ready for love
Stop that girl!
That girl running up the aisle!
That's the girl whose voice
you heard!
She's the real star of the picture,
Kathy Selden!
You areMy lucky starI saw youFrom afarTwo lovely eyesAt me they were gleamingBeamingI was starstruckYou're allMy lucky charmsI'm luckyIn your armsYou've opened heaven 's portalHere on earth for this poor mortalYouAre myLucky star