Something's Gotta Give Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Something's Gotta Give script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Something's Gotta Give. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Something's Gotta Give Script



The sweet, uncomplicated

satisfaction of the younger woman.



That fleeting age when everything

just falls right into place.



It's magic time, and it can

render any man...



...anywhere, absolutely helpless.



Some say I'm an expert

on the younger woman.



Guess that's because I've been

dating them for over    years.



So, baby, you're rich?



Well, my mother is. Sort of.

I mean, not really.



If she lives within a mile

of here, she's rich.



Well, I guess a hit play will

buy you a house in the Hamptons.



- I'd like to meet your mother.

- No, you wouldn't.



She's great. She's totally brilliant,

but she's not your type.



You're overlooking

one of the great things about me.



I don't have a type.



She's over   .



Oh, what?



Like you don't know you

have a slight reputation for...



- For?

- For...



...never dating anyone over   .



It just so happens, my dear, that

women of a certain age don't date me.



You ever think of it that way? No.



It's always me.






I'll call back Monday.



Say you couldn't find me.






I'll call her later.



No, no, I have the number.






Make a right.

It's the second driveway on the left.









It's the perfect beach house.






...what are we gonna do out here,

just the two of us, for two whole days?



Tell me the truth.

Are you at all glad we waited?









But I'm extremely glad

we're finally gonna...



Wanna go for a swim?



How long will it take you

to change?



- Thirty seconds.

- Really?



That long?



Oh, Har, by the way,

no smoking in the house.



My mom doesn't allow it.



But she allows you to

strip in the front yard?



Bring guys you're

dating here to...?



She doesn't know everything I do

or when I do it or where I do it.




The fabulous two-story living room...



...which, I predict, we will spend

absolutely no time in whatsoever.



- It's a knockout.

- Thank you.



I'm very good at giving this tour,

by the way, although...



...l've never actually done

it while taking off my clothes.



Behind me, the requisite

Hamptons deck...



...complete with

pool and ocean view.



Your pants, please.



Ladies first.



When I first started auctioneering,

someone told me...



...if I was nervous, I should just picture

the audience in their underwear.



This gives that a whole new meaning.



You're not nervous now, are you?



- I'm always a little nervous.

- Put on your bathing suit.



I brought us champagne.

I'll put it on ice.



No, I know. I can't do anything...



Oh, God! What is this?




Okay, you stay where you are.

We have a knife.



- Do you live here?

- Look, mister.



I am gonna dial    

and you are not gonna move.



- Zoe, hand me the phone.

- You don't understand.



- I'm your daughter's friend.

- Don't think so.



My daughter is in the city. You, what,

wander in here, high on ecstasy?



- Honestly, if you'd just...

- No!



Stay there.

I was in the Israeli army.



I can break you in half.



Hello. Yes! Yes, I have

an intruder in my house.



   Daniels Lane, Sagaponack...



I'm dating your daughter, Marin.



She invited me here for the weekend.

She's in her room right now, changing.



You're dating my daughter?



Now, who would have thought

that would be worse news?



Yeah, sorry. False alarm.



No, he's not a burglar.



- He's dating my daughter.

- I had no idea you were coming.



You said you had to write.



I do, but I thought

I would do it out here.



I should have told you

I was bringing someone.



I'm sorry. I should've told

you we were coming.



Obviously. Anyway, here we are.



Hello, I'm the mother.



Harry Sanborn. How are you?



Oh, God, sorry.

This is my friend Harry.



- My mom, Erica. My aunt Zoe.

- Sorry about that.



We just totally spur-of-the-moment

decided to get out of the city.



Good, that's good.



Honey, does Harry have a robe?



You know what?



I think I should just take off, let

you gals enjoy your weekend and...






No, no! Oh, I'm sorry. Of course,

don't do that. That's silly.



Zoe and I will leave...



...and you and Harry stay.






I'm sorry.

I apologize about the near arrest.



You were very impressive.

Very strong.









Well, I don't think

I was exactly macho.



Trust me, if I ever catch a guy

in his underwear in my refrigerator...



...I hope I'm half the man

you were, Mrs...



- Mrs...

- Right, okay. Whatever.



Alrighty, then,

I'm definitely gonna hit the road.



Ladies, sensational meeting you.






- Give me a call.

- Hold on.



Let's not get so dramatic here.

What are we, four teenagers?



We're sophisticated people.



Why don't we all stay. Your mother

has work, I have papers to grade.



Do your thing, whatever that may be...



...and if we wanna hang out together,

we will.



If we don't, we don't. No reason

we should give up this weekend.






- I can handle it.

- I can totally handle it.



I mean, well, I can handle it.



- Bonjour, Madame Barry.

- Bonjour, Annie.






She took French lessons

after she and my dad split up.



Part of her "keep busy, don't look

back" program.



- Now she's practically fluent.

- Marin!



- Okay.

- Not bad.



Well, yeah. I am fluent.



I'll be right back.



It's an epidemic.



Buy some things.



How about pasta salad?



We had that last night.



- We did? I don't remember.

- Sure.



Why don't we get a spread

and put it on.



Oh, sorry.



Sorry about that.



- My fault.

- No. It's fine, it's fine.



So, Harry, what do you do?



I'm an owner of a record

company, among other things.



- Which record company?

- Drive-By Records.



Drive-By Records?



Is that a joke? I mean, what is that?



It's a hip-hop label.



Hip-hop? Oh, rap. Right, right.

Well, that's interesting.



Let me see if I get

where you're headed here.



I'm sorry, but look,

I hate rap. I do. I really do.



It's just crude and violent

for my taste...



...not to mention

just a tad misogynistic.



Hey, some people see rap as poetry.



Yeah, but how many words

can you rhyme with "bitch"?



Next, please.



How we doing?



Should have left

when she tried to arrest me.



How's the new play?

Are you getting happy with it?



You know the thing about me.



I'm    percent hard work,

   percent talent.



And so far, the talent part

hasn't exactly kicked in yet.



Right. Right.



- What's your play about?

- About?



I'm not exactly sure,

which is a bit of a problem.



But so far, it's about

a divorced woman, a writer.



She's a high-strung, over-amped,

controlling, know-it-all neurotic...



...who's incredibly cute and lovable.



It's a comedy.



So how did you two meet?



At a wine auction at Christie's.



Harry was the big buyer

of the night.



I kept raising my paddle

just to get her to smile at me.



Before I knew it,

I bought the entire collection.



Every known bottle

of Château Margaux.



After that, the least she could do...



...was share a bottle with me.



Ever been married, Harry?






- No, I haven't.

- Mom.



Wow. Now, why do you think that is?



Well, some people just don't

fit the mold, and so far, you know...



Hey, if it ain't broke...



- Exactly.

- Wait a second.



Aren't you a famous bachelor?



Well, I wouldn't say I'm famous.



Yeah, didn't I read an article

about you in New York magazine?



I guess some people find it interesting

I've escaped the noose for so long.



That was the title,

"The Escape Artist."



I read that article.

That was you?



Well, you were once engaged

to someone really big.



- Who was it? Joan Collins? No.

- No.



- Okay. Carly Simon?

- Somebody cool like that.



- Someone like that.

- Not Martha Stewart.



- No! Not Martha Stewart!

- You could ask him.



No, this is more fun.



It's like I'm not here.



Harry was once

engaged to Diane Sawyer.



- What?

- Right. Diane Sawyer. I love her.



- I'm impressed.

- Yeah.



Women your age

love that about me.



- You know what I mean.

- Yes, I do.



I mean, it's not a bad thing

to say, "women your age."



Oh, no. I'm sure it was a compliment.



It's just...


            accurate observation. It's...

- So when was this?



- The engagement?

- Long time ago.



She was this adorable,

lanky girl from Kentucky...



...with the greatest pair of legs

I have ever seen.



Never understood her ending up on a

job where she never showed them.



You can't be serious.



I mean, she's Diane Sawyer.

She goes into caves in Afghanistan...



...with a shmatte on her head.

Who cares about her legs?



You know what?



I hate to eat and run, but...



- No!

- No, wait. No.



Come on. This is really fascinating,

what's going on at this table.



Zoe teaches women's studies

at Columbia.



- Okay. So this is gonna hurt.

- No.



- Let's take you and Erica.

- Zoe...



You've been around the block a few

times. What are you, around   ?









Never married, which, as we know, if

you were a woman, would be a curse.



You'd be an old maid, a spinster.



So instead of pitying you,

they write articles about you.



Celebrate your never marrying.



You're elusive and ungetable,

a real catch.



Then, there's my gorgeous sister here.



- No, wait. What...?

- Look, please...



No, this is interesting. Look at her.

She is so accomplished.



Most successful female playwright

since who? Lillian Hellman?



She's over    divorced.

She sits in night after night...



...because available guys

her age want something...



Forgive me, but they want somebody

that looks like Marin.



The over-   dating scene is geared

towards men leaving older women out.



And as a result, the women

become more and more productive...



...and therefore, more

and more interesting.



Which, in turn, makes them even less

desirable because as we know, men...



...especially older men,

are threatened and afraid...



...of productive, interesting women.

It is just so clear.



Single older women as a demographic

are as fucked a group as can exist.



Oh, God!



What are you, possessed?

How could you say those things?



It seemed really obvious, the injustice.

Thank God men die younger than us.



- It's the only break we get.

- You know what?



Write a dissertation. Don't announce

that I stay in night after night...



By the way, one "night after night"

would have been enough.



Did you ever realize that I stay in

as a part of my job?



And why do you think I married

the director of my plays?



He was the only man I ever saw.



And anyway, I like staying in,

and I like this time in my life.



Why do I have to defend myself?

I was married for    years. I'm done.



- What the hell was that?

- Sorry, I thought I was onto something.



Honey, what are you doing

with this guy?



He's old. He's chauvinistic.



- He's fun.

- Fun?



I mean, how is he fun?

He's, like, wrong.



- Yeah, wrong can be fun.

- No.



- Not this wrong.

- He's smart and fascinating.



If you talked about something

other than marital status...


            would find he's smart,

owns    different companies.



What does that mean? It means

he can't commit. That's what it means.



- Not that I want him to commit.

- Oh, yeah, that I get.



Anyway, he said he thought you two

were very spontaneous and nice.



And then he said he's leaving

as soon as the sun comes up.



What, his car doesn't have




Wait a minute.

I have no right to get this nuts.



I'm sorry.



He's your friend, he's not mine.



- I'm sorry and love you.

- I love you more.



No chance in hell

he said we were nice.



Please. None.



What are they listening to?



I don't care.



Marvin Gaye?



Will you stop that?



That's disgusting, Zoe. Stop it!






She'll never see him after this

weekend. She can't commit either.



He does sound fun.



Admit it. He's got something.

You felt it, right?



Okay, this is nuts.






Did she say, "Mom"?



Mom, hurry!






I don't know what happened.

We fooled around.



And then he just said he felt

funny, and he just collapsed.



Harry, what is it?



- I'm okay. I'm fine.

- Does your chest hurt?



It's like an elephant's sitting on it.




tell them to send an ambulance.



Marin, now!



- My God!

- What are you doing?






Oh, you fucking guy.



We need an ambulance right away,




   Daniels Lane,




- We got him.

- Apparent cardiac arrest.



Sinus check,    .



- BP?

-    l  .



- Forty-one. Right here?

- On three.



- All right.

- Careful.



We've got a line in.



- Switch over to monitors.

- How we doing?



   minutes of chest pain,

nausea, shortness of breath.



Pulse,    . Respiration's   .



Get a CBC, CMP, cardiac

panel and   -lead EKG.



- Yes, doctor.

- Mr. Sanborn, I'm Dr. Mercer.



- Are you in any pain right now?

- I feel some pressure in my chest.



- It's tight.

- Show me where the pain is.



Right here.



What were you doing

when the pain started?



- I was kissing a beautiful woman.

- Were you having intercourse?



Unfortunately, no.



- Sense of humor intact.

- Yeah.



Give him aspirin, metoprolol,

  milligrams, hang a nitro drip.



- Mr. Sanborn?

- Yeah.



EKG shows a blocked artery

which is not allowing enough...



...oxygen to get to the heart muscle.

- I'm having a heart attack?



We're gonna stop it, but I need

to know what medications you take.



- I take Lipitor.

- Chew this.



- Anything else?

- And a white one for blood pressure.



And what about Viagra?



Mr. Sanborn, did you take

any Viagra today?



- Mr. Sanborn?

- No.



- No Viagra.

- Okay, good, just need to be sure.



Because I put nitroglycerin

into your drip.



And if you had taken Viagra,

the combination could be fatal.



- Your dad's gonna be okay.

- He's not my dad.



Oh, I'm sorry.

Your granddad's gonna be okay.



Oh, thank you so much.



We're not related.



- He's a friend.

- Sorry.



I'm Dr. Mercer.



Mr. Sanborn did have

a mild heart attack.



I gave him something

to dissolve the clot, and it worked.



He's very lucky.



Another half-hour, I don't...

I don't know if this would have worked.



This was very intense.



- He's doing great.

- Yeah.



I gave him something

to help him sleep.



It might make him a little loopy at first

but then it should knock him out.



- You're Mrs. Sanborn?

- No! Oh, no. No, I'm just...



No, I'm Erica Barry.



He had dinner at our house.

I met him this afternoon.



You're Erica Barry?



- Yes.

- The playwright?



- Yes.

- What a pleasure. I'm a huge fan.



- Really?

- Huge fan.



Thank you.









Thank you, doctor.



- Erica. Green tea.

- Oh! That's hot.



- Thank you.

- You're welcome. May I?



Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah.



This is very sweet of you.



In med school you learn what keeps

you up without making you nuts.



You know I heard you had a house

in the Hamptons.



I am a big fan. I've seen every play

you've ever written.



Some were written before your time.

There's some Marin's never seen.



No, I'm pretty sure I've seen

them all.



- I saw the last one twice.

- Julian, a walk-in may need stitches.



Okay, thanks.



I'll check on Mr. Sanborn.



If he's asleep, you might want some

shuteye. Come back in the morning.



Great to meet you, Erica. Ladies.






Now, that's the perfect guy for you.



He's adorable!



Mother, I've never seen a man

less interested in me.



Or more interested in you.






- He's    years old.

- No, he's older than that.



Who cares how old he is?

I mean, he's not my type.



He's a gorgeous doctor.

He's perfect for you. He's hot for you.



- Which makes him really perfect.

- Okay, stop it.



He likes my work, not me.



I would never...



Shut up.



- Oh, God, is he all right?

- Harry!



Harry, over here.



Honey, I wanna go home.

Can you call Leo...?



Harry! You've got to get back into bed.



Woman, you saved my life.



Get a nurse. Nurse! Nurse!



I thank you from the bottom of my...



Even unconscious, he's a letch!



- Get off!

- You shouldn't be standing.



It's all right. Thank you.



I gotta take a whiz, girls.



We'll take care of that for you.



Okay, I'd like to see that.



Okay, here we go.



I'd love to see that.



Somebody better get it.



Now, what can I do you for?



I'm here to pick up Harry Sanborn.



Hi, I'm Dr. Mercer.

Come on, I'll take you to him.



And you are?



I'm Leo Hoffman,

I'm Harry's personal assistant.



Do a little chef, a little driving,

party planning...



...whatever the man needs.

- It sounds like an interesting job.



I'm going on six years

and never a dull moment.



Okay, Harry, looks like we're

gonna have to let you go.



Take it easy, kids.



I just...



...sat up a little too fast.



Doc, tell them.



Am I in good shape?



How were my tests this morning?



He's doing extremely well.



- Can I hug him?

- Absolutely.



Yeah. Okay.



Okay. Okay.



Let's not get goofy.



We got nothing but good news here.



Knock, knock.



- Hi.

- Hey.



- I'll catch you on the way out.

- Thanks.






...l'm some great date, huh?



Yeah, Mr. Excitement.



Tell me something.



We haven't actually had sex yet,

have we?






We haven't.

You're correct on that one.



Something to live for.



Down to the cheek.



Hold on, Tarzan, we're still moving.




Hey, l...



Harry, I'm sorry but I can't

let you travel quite yet.



I ain't going back in there.



I can't put you in a car

and I can't leave you in the parking lot.



I won't sue you,

if that's what you think.



I'll sign whatever you'd like.



Just let me go back to the city.



Here's my best offer.



I won't put you in the hospital

if you stay nearby a few days.



Get a nurse. Let me keep an eye on

you until we get your strength back.



Stay nearby.



Doc, where do you suggest I go?






Somebody please explain to me

how I ended up babysitting this guy?



Somebody please explain to me

how I ended up babysitting this guy?



This is the best turkey sandwich

I've had in my life.



- You're not listening to me.

- I am. Don't get all pissy.



I come here for peace and quiet.



Suddenly, I'm a character

in a Kaufman and Hart play.



And the phone doesn't stop.



And it's never for me.



Sorry to interrupt.



No, that's fine, Leo. I'll take it.



- No, it's okay...

- No, no, I'll take it.



I don't mind washing them.




How you doing?



The man doesn't know my name,

and I'm doing his dishes.



I said I'll take it back tomorrow, okay?




I'll take care of it.

Just one second. Hi, Erica?



- Where shall I put this?

- Here. I'll take it.



Harry has a bad headache.

Do you have any Tylenol?



- Tylenol...

- Extra Strength would be fantastic.



Hi, I'm Tania.



- Hi.

- Harry's second assistant.



- Dave Klein, her assistant.

- Nice to meet you.



- Nice to meet you.

- Thank you. Appreciate it.



"What should I do with this?"



It's an empty water glass.

What are the choices?



Okay, I'm getting out of your hair.



So you're not ready to show me

any new pages?



- Dave.

- I'm not putting any pressure on you.



- I'm just asking.

- Dad!



I didn't know you were here.



Just on my way out.



I was gonna drive back to the city with

Zoe, but I'd much rather go with you.



Actually, I have someone

to meet before I go.



Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.



You're leaving? Zoe's leaving?

The entourage is leaving?



I'm gonna be stuck with him, alone?



The hospital's sending over

a nurse in the morning.



In the morning? That's, like,

   hours from now.



Okay, I can handle this.



I'll just get myself into a Zen place.



Play music. Cook. Write. Focus.



Thank you.



Well, four mai tais at lunch...


            a bit much for anybody.






Can I call you right back, doll, huh?

Thank you.






- What's up?

- Okay, here's the thing.



I don't want to play the uptight

nurse to your bad-boy patient.



If you want another heart attack,

go ahead. I have work to do.



I don't have time to make a run...


            the hospital because you're filling

your clogged arteries with smoke.



But more importantly...



...l'd rather not have my freshly

painted house smell like a pool hall.



Have you always been like this,

or do I bring it out in you?



Just, you know.



I don't think I've ever had

this effect on a woman before.



What effect do you think

you have on me?



I don't quite recognize it.



That's how I know

I never had it before.



So you don't sleep?



I only need about four hours a night.



Me too.



I never slept eight hours

in my life.



Me either. I wish I could.



Want me to shut these? The sun

comes in strong in the morning.



- Sure.

- So, Harry...



...who were you talking to?



A friend in L.A.



- It's only   :   on the coast.

- That's not past her bedtime?



So you don't get

more mellow as the hours pass?



Good night, Harry.



Can I ask you one other thing?



What's with the turtlenecks?



- It's the middle of summer.

- Seriously...



...why do you care what I wear?

- Just curious.



I like them. I've always liked them,

and I'm just a turtleneck kind of gal.



You never get hot?



- No.

- Never?



Not lately.






Okay, okay.






Oh, God!



Oh, I'm sorry.



Oh, God, am I sorry.



What are you doing?!



- I was just trying to find the kitchen!

- What? Back here?



I got confused.



And it was dark and...



I didn't really see anything.






Just your tits.



And a little...



- Goodbye, Mrs. Barry.

- Goodbye?



You're leaving?

Oh, no, that's not good.



- Been fired.

- Fired? No, you just started.



Not fired, darling. Just not needed.



Not needed?

Wait, what are you talking about?



Of course she's needed. We need her.



Oh, no. I'm actually feeling

pretty perky today.



Making quite a comeback.



Sorry for your trouble,

Mrs. Gimble. Take care, dear.



You've been wonderful.






...about last night...



Yeah, how about

we never talk about that?



I was at the drugstore.

Your prescriptions were ready.



They said to take two with food,

this one without.



You were in silhouette.



Yeah, I think that's talking about it.



- I didn't really see all that much.

- Yep, there you go.



I won't mention it again, but...



- Going to work, Harry.

- Hey.



You saw my ass.

You don't see me acting nuts...



...and wearing glasses

and hats and weird outfits!



Yes or no?



What's the deal?



- Can I go?

- You still getting dizzy?



- Not as much.

- Out of breath?



- Only sometimes.

- Good.



- How's Erica treating you?

- Who?






Oh, her.



She is a major piece of work.



Doc, the woman wears turtlenecks

in the middle of the summer.



She's beyond uptight.

Almost makes her fun to be around.



Uptight? That's funny,

I haven't noticed that.



Try living with her.



I actually saw her naked last night.



- That doesn't sound so uptight.

- It was an accident.



She thought I was asleep,

I thought her room was the kitchen.



You know what Freud said,

"There are no accidents."



Trust me.



This was an accident.



Although, why would she walk around

naked when she knows I'm nearby?



Why would you think

her bedroom was a kitchen?



It was dark.

It was  :   in the morning.



That could explain why she was

walking around naked. Deep breath.



I've never seen a woman that age

naked before.



- You're kidding.

- Hey, we're not all doctors, baby.



I think she's very beautiful.

And she's a fantastic writer, you know.



No, I don't know.



She's pretty major.



- So you date her daughter?

- Okay.



Now, she's a great chick.

Must take after her father.



Which reminds me. Doc...



What about Mr. Midnight, here?



When can I be up and running

in that department?



I think Mr. Midnight needs to stay put

for another couple of weeks.



- But it won't kill me when I do it, right?

- No, it's exercise. It'll be good for you.



After a heart attack,

rule of thumb is:



If you can climb a flight of stairs,

you can have sex.



So you're saying he can't travel at all?

Not even by plane?



So you're saying he can't travel at all?

Not even by plane?



- Train?

- I don't think so.



Been tough, huh?



He fired his nurse after an hour,

and now says he doesn't need one.



- He's a bit of a workout.

- How are you holding up?



- Me?

- You.



Well, I'm...



I'm fine. Fine.



One more "fine"

and I won't believe you.



Wait, where's my...?



- Thank you.

- You're welcome.






Hi. I know, I'm sorry.

I haven't been able to get back.



Part of the play takes place in Paris...


            I keep listening to French music,

hoping to get inspired.



Well, I'm trying.



It's not exactly flowing out

of me yet, but...



Pick you up around  ?



So, what about the patient?



Like he said, he doesn't need a nurse.



I'm walking around the house!



Oh, no.



- Hi.

- Listen...



...l've decided to get over

the "you saw me naked" thing.



- So let's not deal with it anymore.

- Good...



...because I have been hiding

from you all day.



Do you want to come in?



I don't want to break your rhythm

or anything.



That would be wishful thinking.



Nice painting.



So I'm gonna venture out there

and go for a short walk.



- You up to that?

- My doctor recommended it.



I gotta build up to climbing stairs

and stuff like that.



You wouldn't want to join me?



- That means you don't want me to?

- No. I was asking if you wanted to.



I would, but I don't like to break

once I start writing, so I shouldn't.



Not that a little fresh air would hurt.



It's just a walk, Erica,

not a marriage proposal.



- You know my name.

- Erica Jane Barry.



I looked you up on the Internet.



Do you know that there are over

     websites that mention you?



- That's not possible.

- Yeah, it's true.



I know everything about you now,

and not because of last night.



Yeah, no, no. I understood.



- Actually, I looked you up too.

- You did?



I know you grew up in L.A.,

which I thought nobody did.



You started your own record label

at    very impressive.



Sold it at    even more impressive.



Then you started a magazine,

dabbled in the Internet...



...and then you invested

in a small record company...



...which you turned into the second

largest hip-hop label in the world.



- It's exhausting just hearing about it.

- Yeah, I know. I know, but...



The truth is, it goes by fast,

doesn't it?



- Like the blink of an eye.

- Yeah.



Look at this.



I notice that you have bowls of those

all over your house.



It's so crazy, I know.

But I just think they're beautiful.



But why do you only pick up

the white ones?



I don't pick up only the white ones.



So you really are crazy.



I know. I only pick up

the white ones. Oh, God.



What does that mean?

That I'm controlling?



Unadventurous? What?



So you're as hard on yourself

as you are on everyone else.



Something to remember me by.



- Can I ask you something, Harry?

- Yeah, sure. Go ahead, shoot.



What's with all the young girls?

What's the story there? Really?



- Just like to travel light.

- You just like to travel...? God!



I'm sorry, but what does that mean?



- Now, see, a   -year-old gets that.

- You mean, falls for it.



I mean, accepts it. Acceptance is key.



If that's what you want,

a nonthreatening woman...



...who doesn't get your number,

you get to run the show...



I think our relationship is growing,

by the way.



Have you noticed? I'm serious.



Maybe we just need

to get out of the house.



Now, you may notice, interestingly,

we're walking back toward the house...



...and it's getting

a little rocky again.



Of course it's getting rocky.

We're talking about you.



See, I'll accept that slight hostility...



...because I'm enjoying

your company so much.



Are you okay?



Yeah, yeah, but...



I think I'll stay down here

and watch the sun set.



You interested? Ringside seat.






Big dinner date?



Yeah, as a matter of fact,

with your doctor.



My doctor.



- Wait a minute.

- He's not too young for you?



He's totally too young! But we're

just having dinner, it's not a date.



- Does he know that?

- I'm gonna tell him.



- But I doubt he thinks of it that way.

- I doubt that you doubt it.



Anyway, you may like it.

Think of it this way.



He's nonthreatening, won't get your

number, you get to run the show...



- That is so unfair!

- Trust me. Could be a great night.



- Look who's answering the door.

- And look who's at the door.



I brought you something.



A heart-healthy dinner

from our cafeteria.



Why, thank you.






- You look beautiful.

- Thank you.



Hi, it's Marin. I'm not in, so leave

a message and I'll call you back.



It's me. Just sitting around,

looking at your baby pictures.



Thinking of you.



This is Brooke and Shannon.



For Brooke, push  .

For Shannon, push  .



Everybody is out but old Har.












...old Har.



Top of the heap.



- Julian, can I ask you something?

- Anything.



- Julian, can I ask you something?

- Anything.



How old are you?



I'm   .



So I am almost    years

older than you.



That's a lot of years to be older

than somebody, don't you think?



I don't think it matters at all.



- You don't?

- I don't.



Okay, but...



But in terms of us, you just...

You just want us to be friends, right?



Honestly? No.



- So, what do you want to be?

- I'd embarrass you if I told you.



I was embarrassed

just getting dressed to see you.



This may surprise you, but some

women consider me quite the guy.



I've never been married, I'm a doctor.



You wouldn't believe what catnip

that is for some women.



Yes, I would. It's just...

Don't you like girls your own age?



I do, but I've never met one

I've reacted to...



...quite like this.



And when something happens to you

that's never happened to you before...



...don't you have to find out

what it is?



I don't know. This is an area

that's a little tricky for me.



See, I don't really date all that much

or all that well.



Come on. You must beat

them away with a stick.



- You're kidding, right?

- No.



No! Men my age, or at least

the ones I've met, well...



I'm not that regular of a person,

and they really like regular.



Men your age may be really stupid.

Did you ever think of that?



Yes, I have. Many times.



I knew you'd smell good.



It's just soap.



- Erica, you're incredibly sexy.

- No.



Swear to God, I'm not.



I'm back!



Have fun?



It was interesting.



Good night, Harry.



Good night.



Just get rid of that. That's good.



"Harry  . What are you doing?"



Harry  ?



"What are you doing?"



Writing. Hi. What are you doing?



Of course. Relentless.



Watching Joan Rivers sell jewelry.



"So was your date a date?"



Yeah, I think so.



I don't understand how

he knows everything.



I'm in my P.J.s.



In her P.J.s.



"Pajama party."



Oh, man.



We are cute.



This is pretty unusual for me.

I'm not used to having sleepovers.



Me either.



Really? With your social life?



My dear, you're confusing sex

with sleeping.



Sleeping is something

that I prefer to do alone.



Okay. Good to know.



- What are you hungry for?

- What are my choices?



I mean, I know you think I'm not

very discriminating when it comes to...



Oh, please. What difference

does it make what I think of you?



I can't even imagine

what you think of me.



Okay. Pancakes, pasta,

leftover coq au vin.



- Grilled cheese?

- Pancakes.



Totally what I wanted.



You ever miss being married?



- Bet you were great at it.

- Sometimes.



At night. But not that much anymore.



Was one of us just saying

something interesting?



You said you can't imagine

what I think of you.



- You don't have to answer that.

- Okay.



I mean, if you had an opinion,

I'd be curious.



Will you tell me first why you

only miss being married at night?



The phone doesn't ring

that much at night...



...and the whole alone thing

happens at night.



Sleeping by myself took getting

used to, but I got the hang of it.



You gotta sleep in the middle.



It's not healthy to have a side

when no one has the other side.



Now I'm convinced that

what I think about you is right.



You're a tower of strength.



Try not to rate my answer.



- I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, but...

- You know what you're like?



You're like one of those great portraits

you see over a fireplace.



Words have been invented

to describe women like you.



Such as?












- So you think I'm inhuman?

- No. I think you're formidable.



Cold, distant, like I'm frozen

in some painting?



Not at all.



But I do think you use your strength

to separate yourself from everyone.



But it's thrilling when

your defenses are down...



...and you're not isolated.



That, I believe, is your winning combo.

Killer combo, actually.



You know, I can't decide if, God,

do you hate me?



Or if you're the only person

who ever really got me.



I don't hate you.



- You don't?

- No.






- Surprise!

- Well, hi!



- Room service.

- What are you doing here at this hour?



I had this big benefit. I went out with

friends, then checked my messages...



...and I got this so sad phone call

from Harry.



So bored out here, so I figured

I should come see how you're doing.



Thank you so much for the gorgeous

flowers, by the way. They're so huge.



It's a pleasure.



That is so sweet.

You guys are making pancakes?



You're in your P.J. s!

I feel like I'm interrupting!



Don't be silly. You know I never sleep.

This one doesn't sleep either.






No, I'm here, babe.

I made record time.



Is everybody still there?









Okay, bye.



Since you're here, why don't you finish

the pancakes and I'll get back to work.



Mom, I just got here. By the way,

Dad totally stood me up today.



We were supposed to have lunch

and he never showed up.



- Was he always like this?

- I don't know.



That happens when

a couple gets divorced.



The kid inherits all the problems.

Not that I'm a kid.



- How are you? How are you feeling?

- Well...



So tell me. When can you go home?



I really am gonna do a little work,

so why don't you just finish this...



...and you two catch up.

You know how to fix these.



You don't want pancakes anymore?



I don't.



No. I don't.



I'm breaking up with Harry.



- What do you mean? Why?

- Because I met someone else.



- In the two days you've been gone?

- My life is crazy.



I meet a thousand new people

every day. Besides, let's face it.



He's insanely too old for me.



- I'd be nuts to keep this thing going.

- True.



But you know, he's...



I know. He's soulful

when you don't expect it.



Oh, my God. It's unnerving!



Mom, listen.



I was thinking, if you could

handle this, you and Harry.



I can't handle it,

wouldn't want to handle it.



You're only saying that because

you think that he and I have had sex.



Lower your voice!



- Haven't you?

- Never, not even close, I swear to God.



I'm saying this because for two people

convinced they've got life beat...



...there was something cooking

in the kitchen other than pancakes.



I waited a reasonable amount

of hours before calling...



...even though you've been on

my mind since I woke up at  :  .



When could we have dinner again?

I have to work the next few nights.



If we wait too long, you'll chicken out.

So how's Friday?



It's a date night,

but that's a good thing.



Who is this?



I'm kidding.






- Can you meet me at The Grill at  ?

- Okay. Yes. Seems fine.



I look forward to seeing you too.



- He's all yours.

- Stop that. How'd he take it?



He just took care of it for me.

He was an ace.



Elegant. He said our fate

was to be friends.



Oh, my God.



He was breaking up with me.

I didn't even...



- He's a genius.

- That's not possible. He wouldn't.



He absolutely did.

And you know what?



It doesn't matter, because we're done

and we both feel fine about it. Okay?



Clean slate.



I gotta go.






Now, Erica. Try to think of this...


            the absolute smartest thing

you've ever done for yourself.









- I'm sorry, l...

- For what?



- I just kissed you, and l...

- No, honey.



I kissed you.



I know that one was me.



Try not to keep score.



- Soft lips.

- I'm so glad they still work.



I haven't used them for kissing

in such a long time.



More like for, you know,

wearing lipstick and whistling and...



Well, well. Now look who's

got something that works.



You didn't even take any Viagra...



Kiss me before you make it go away.



This could be world-class interesting.



Having any doubts?






Me too.



But so far...



...the kissing is spectacular.



I'm not grading you,

I'm just mentioning it. Like...



Like, brilliant.



I can't get past your damn turtleneck.



Cut it off. Please.






Cut it off.






- Aren't you full of surprises?

- Yeah.









You're beautiful.



Open your eyes so I know

you hear me.






What about birth control?






Who's the lucky boy?



Okay. Okay.



I think we should take

your blood pressure.



- My blood pressure?

- I think it's irresponsible not to.



- Nobody but you would stop...

- Yeah, so you're lucky.



Oh, God, I can't...

I can't see.



- My glasses.

- Okay.



   l  ! Oh, baby!



Oh, my God.



I do like sex.



- You certainly do.

- Wow!



Oh, God.



So this is what you're supposed to do

on a rainy afternoon, huh?



I really thought I was...



...sort of closed up for business.



I never expected this.



Nothing's ever surprised me more.



This is crazy.



I can't remember

the last time I cried. I...



I think I'm overwhelmed.



Me too.



That's the perfect word.



Baby, I had sex three days

after a heart attack, and I didn't die.



That's gotta be some kind of a record.






Let's just not brag about this

to your doctor, okay?






I may not be many things,

but one thing I am is discreet.


















You know I'm not good

at being monogamous, right?






Please. I hardly know you.



But why Paris?



I just always wanted to

write a play that ended there.



People need that romance, and if

someone like me doesn't write it...



...where will they get it? Real life?

- Excuse me?



What do you call this?



Eating eggs by candlelight,

in our robes...









So where do you like to eat in Paris?



I love this bistro called

The Grand Colbert.



It's behind the Palais-Royal. It's the

best roast chicken in the universe.



You'd be fun to go to Paris with.



It is the best city

to stay up all night in.



Hey, when is your birthday?



- February.

- Well, mine's January.



So how about if we still know

each other by then, we go to Paris...



...for our birthdays, huh?






You just said... You know something,

I have no idea how to do this.



I don't know how to be intimate

but not intimate.



The color is draining from your face.



Okay, I'm gonna pee, take one of

your blood-pressure pills...



...and when I get back,

let's not talk anymore.






You're the funniest girl

I ever had sex with.



Well, that's something.






I think I should go back to my room.



- Let you get some sleep.

- Let me sleep?









You usually send the girls home.



But I am home.



- Okay.

- Well, I'm an old dog, you know?






It's perfectly... Whatever.



This was...



This was...



...a great night...



...for me.



Me too.






At one point...



...I even thought...



...soul mates.



Good night.



I'd like to try sleeping with you.



Oh, my God!






What time do you think it is?



Can you see this?



Not really. It looks like it says...



...  ?



- It is   .

- It is?



No way. It can't be.



Oh, my God, that would mean

we slept eight hours?



- Impossible.

- Yeah.



Oh, Nellie.



A little dizzy.



Oh, no. Okay, now, you just...



You just stay still.

There you go. Here's the clicker.



You have a doctor's appointment

in an hour.



I'll make us some coffee,

get you your pills...



...whip us up some french toast.

I have the best maple syrup ever.






You are a woman to love.



"You are..."



"You are a woman to love."



What the hell does that mean?



Okay, buddy, your echo

looks real good.



I'm sending you back to the city.



Past few days

have done wonders for you.



Yeah, I've been working on

that stair thing.



I can do it, by the way.



Do what?



Climb a flight of stairs.



Several times, actually.



Way to go.



So how's Erica?



Erica, as it turns out...


            an amazing woman.



- She's just...

- Well, that's wonderful.



I think she's wonderful.



I think she's wonderful too.



Give her my best.






Thank you...



...for everything.



You're gonna be okay.



I am?



This is the second time

I've done this.



I get overcome or something.

It's so out of the blue.



It's common to become emotional

after having an episode like you had.



Everything takes on a new meaning.



So it's not crazy for a guy

to do something...


            totally out of character

after having a heart attack.



You mean like crying?






And completely changing their taste.



Like, suddenly...



...really liking something that you

never thought you could ever like.






- It's unnerving.

- You can expect anything right now.



People have done some wild things

after having a heart attack.



But most people go back to

being themselves, right?



I'm gonna go back to being me...



...aren't I?



We'll see.



Here you go.

You can have these back now.



I confiscated them

on your first night here.



- Thank you, darling.

- Try not to smoke them.



And I packed you a sandwich,

just in case your blood sugar got low...



...and some of that iced tea you like,

a low-cholesterol cookie and a peach.



What a doll.



Got something else?



Something to remember me by.



- There is that.

- And, hey...



...we'll always have Paris.



Bad joke.



- Honey?

- Yeah?



No words can ever

express my gratitude...



...for taking me in...



...and taking care of me and...

- Hey. Your heart attack...



...could be the best thing

that ever happened to me.



- I love ya.

- I love you too.



If that's what you said.



I don't know if it ends in a "ya"

if it's an official "I love you," but...



You're not like anybody.



- I knew you'd call.

- Who? It's me.



- What's wrong?

- Had breakfast with Dad.



We're talking, and he starts

looking weird and tells me...



...he met someone three weeks ago,

that it's really something.



And then he...



He tells me he's getting married.



Why am I reacting this way?

I'm almost    years old.



- Wait, wait. Who is he marrying?

- I don't know.



Some chick he met three weeks ago.

She's two years older than me.



She's an ear, nose and throat

doctor. Has he lost his mind?



- Honey...

- I have a huge auction tonight...



...and I'm really upset.

My shrink's away for two weeks.



Can you come in? I know

you're working, but just, please?



I get that he has a right to get

remarried, but he doesn't know her.



She's my age.

Do you know what that's like?



That's, like, beyond creepy.



It's not like I think he's

replacing me. I know he isn't.



I know I'm too old

to act like this, it's nuts.



First of all, please don't smoke.



If he is replacing anyone, it's me,

not you. And all the statistics say...



...divorced men always remarry.

It's how they're built.



Wanna know why I'm always

with the wrong guy?



This is why. Because the wrong guy

can't do this to you.



This is my big fear,

that some guy can get me...



...unglued like this.

And this is just Dad!



We know this about me. I am just

not cut out for this kind of drama.



I think it's the drama in

life that makes you strong.



You always say things to me like this.



You never understand

that everyone isn't like you.



If I were you, and my ex-husband,

the man I allow to direct my plays...



...were getting remarried

to some   -year-old...



...ear, nose and throat babe,

I'd be bonkers. And look at you.



- You never looked better, by the way.

- Oh, well...



Marin, we're all set.



I gotta go sell $   million

worth of art.



Can you do one other big thing

for me? Just say yes, just...



- Please?

- Anything, bubby.



I need you to come out to dinner

with me, Dad and the fiancée.



- Absolutely not. No.

- Mom, you have to.



Hey. You have to.



Yes, because he wants me

to meet her. I can't go alone.



I asked them if you could come,

and they said it was fine.



You're gonna have to meet her too,

so we should do it together.



Come on. Please?



You know you can handle it.






Okay, that's it. You see that

look on your face?



That's the gene I didn't get.



Welcome to Christie's and tonight's

sale of impressionist and modern art.



The auctioneer may open bidding

on any lot below the reserve...


            bidding on behalf of the seller.

Let's start with lot number one...



...the Renard, showing here.

$      is bid with my absent bidder.



$      gentleman's bid.

$      still with me.



$       . $       .



$        gentleman's bid.

And fair warning.



Guess I got stood up.



Would you like to order or...?



Why not? I put the tie on

and everything.



Can you bring me another?



Your drink, ma'am.



Oh, good. Thank you so much.



So delicious.



- Thirsty?

- I've had a very big week.



I forgot how these slip right down.

I'm fine.



So, Kristen, where did you

go to medical...


            Oh, I'm so sorry.



University of Pennsylvania.



Well, actually, I went to school

in Philadelphia too.



- Bryn Mawr girl.

- You're kidding.



- My mom went to Bryn Mawr.

- Wow!



Not only are you marrying my dad,

our moms went to the same college.



- Shall we order?

- Absolutely.



Erica? Do I like duck?



Yes, it's rabbit you hate.



I'll give you a list of his likes

and dislikes.



Let her figure things out for herself.



I'm not talking about that, Dave.

After all, she did go to medical school.



Hey, hey, hey.

Not in front of the kids.



So, what do you see that you like?



- What are you having?

- I don't know.



You know,

I'm looking at the grilled salmon...



- Who would like what?

- Mom, are you okay?



- Sure you're okay?

- Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm...



- I'm fine.

- You sure?



- Oh, yes.

- Good.



If we wanted pasta,

we could get the fresh rigatoni.



Grilled free-range chicken teriyaki...



I'm not sure. What about you?



I'm sorry.

Maybe I need a little air.



- Are you okay?

- Fine. I'll be right back.



- Excuse me.

- I'm sorry.






- Hey!

- Hello, Harry.






- Hi.

- I don't know if you know...



God, I'm so stupid.



- What?

- Erica!



- Harry, I gotta go.

- Slow down!



You wanna kill me?









- She's just a friend.

- Oh, yeah.



- She looks like a buddy kind of girl.

- Come on.



- Just a dinner.

- Harry, look.



Here's the problem.



I really like you.



- I really like you.

- Yeah, but I "love you" like you.



I do, I love you.



I think that we should consider...



...maybe we're getting

ahead of ourselves.



- Do you?

- Yeah.



I am like the dumb girl

who doesn't get it.



I've never been the dumb girl before.

It ain't great.



Let's just calm down.



I had these plans

before I even met you.



- I mean, I do like seeing you. I do.

- Yeah.



- I'm always surprised by it.

- Surprised by it?



What was I thinking?



I have never lied to you.



I have always told you

some version of the truth.



The truth doesn't have versions, okay?



Will you cut me a little slack?



- My life has been turned upside down.

- Mine too!



Well, then let's just each

get our bearings.



I don't want my bearings.



I've had my bearings

my whole goddamn life.



I felt something with you

that I never really knew existed.



Do you know what that's like,

after a   -year marriage...


            feel something

for another person that is so...?






Right. Right. Not your problem.



God. Do you know that

I've written this, but I never...



...really got it.



Do you know what this is?






This is heartbroken.

How's that for impervious?



You're killing me.



I just wish that it had lasted

more than a week.



Me too.



That is a terrible thing to say.



You know, the life

I had before you...



...I knew how to do that.

I could do that forever.



But now look at me.

What am I gonna do?



What am I gonna do with all this?






Erica. Can you wait just a second?



The truth is, I...

I just...



I don't know how to be a boyfriend.



That's what you have to say?



That you don't know how to be

a boyfriend?



That's not a small thing.



Are we done?



I don't know.



Oh, my God.






Oh, my God.



Came in via cab.



Vital signs are stable.

Respiratory is on its way.



Chest pain, hospitalized

a week ago with an MI.



- Switch over to monitors.

- Hang a nitro drip.



You can't.



I took Viagra.



You have been through this before.



Let's run a   -lead EKG.

You having chest pain right now?



No. And the pain

I was having was sharp...



...not like before.

- Good.



"Not like before"

is what we like to hear.



I was really out of breath...


            I couldn't catch it.



Okay. Give him an aspirin,

and let's run a blood gas.



Mr. Sanborn, what were you doing

at the onset of the pain?



Having a fight with someone.

A woman.



- Can a woman give you chest pains?

- Are you kidding?



- Love hurts, haven't you heard?

- I've heard.



I just never personally experienced it.



- Well, you've been lucky.

- Yeah. Lucky.



All right. Your EKG

looks perfectly normal.



Your heart rate's good.

The pain you described...


            not the kind we worry about.



I think what you experienced

was hyperventilation...



...brought on by stress.



- Stress?

- And in case you haven't heard...



...stress can give you

a heart attack.



I have no idea what you're up to,

gallivanting out at this hour...


            week after

having a heart attack...



...but if you were my dad,

I would have you home in bed...






"If you were my dad..."



Hi, it's Erica. I'm not here,

so leave me a message.






You have one new message.



Message one.



Erica, hi, it's Julian.

I'm in the restaurant...



...and I'm just wondering if you're

on your way. It's about  :  .



It's a lovely night out here.

It's a nice...



Oh, my...



Go figure.






- Hey, Mom, we're going into town.

- Okay.



Are you crying?






It's my new thing.



- I've gotten abnormally brilliant at it.

- Why? What is it?



I'm in love.



Ain't it great?



Seems like I gotta learn

how to do that...



you know?



Oh, Mom, I hate this.



Now do you get my theory about

all this? You gotta self-protect.



You don't really buy this stuff

you say, do you?



You don't actually think that you

can outsmart getting hurt?



- I think it's worth trying.

- Listen to me.



You can't hide from love

for the rest of your life...



...because maybe

it won't work out...



...maybe you'll become unglued?



It's just not a way to live.



Are you telling me this is good?



I think you should consider

the possibility...



...that you and I are more alike

than you realize.



I let someone in,

and I had the time of my life.



I've never had the time of my life.



I know, baby.



And I say this...



...from the deepest part

of my heart.



What are you waiting for?



- Hey!

- Great party.



Thank you. My pleasure.



- Hey.

- Hey, good to see you.



You having fun?



Not quite.



I got you something great

at the farm stand.



These are for you to give me

when you apologize.



Julian, I hope you know how mortified

I am by my behavior.



I was gonna get in touch

or send a note.



- A note?

- A note.



- That's a little chilly.

- Well...



...l'm embarrassed.



I just haven't been myself lately.

What can I say?



Just tell me you're sorry.



I am sorry.



Then you could kiss me.



Kiss you?



You're gonna forgive me

if I kiss you?



I think so.



No one on earth would forgive

you for that kiss.



May I?



I forgive you.






- It's the best thing you've ever written.

- It is?



- It's wonderful.

- It is?



Yes, it's sweet,

it's smart, it's funny...



How great is it for you that I'm not

intimidated by your brilliance?



Must we go through this every time?



Come here. Come here.



Good. That's very good.



Anyway, you know

what I'm gonna do?



Oh. Oh, my God!



Oh, I gotta tell you.



I'm totally excited

about this audition.



It's such a great part. Supporting,

but she's a really funny character.



There's this totally hilarious scene

where she's dating this older...



...chauvinistic guy.



Just as they're

about to do it, he moans.



And so she's just thinking that he's,

like, really into her...



...except he's having a

heart attack.



She's, like, totally creeped out...



...and her mom, who basically

despises the guy, rushes in...



...and gives him CPR

and saves his life.



Are you okay?



Isn't that funny?



Hold on, hold on.

Let's not get so dramatic here.



Hold on, hold on.

Let's not get so dramatic here.



What are we, four teenagers?



We're all sophisticated people.



Why can't we all stay

for the weekend?



Your mother has work to do,

I've got papers to grade.



You do what you're going to do,

whatever that might be...



I need to talk to you.



- together, and if we don't,

we don't.



Got a minute?



So your play is about us?



- No, it's about me.

- Am I in it?



Well, a guy like you is in it,

but he's not you.



What happens

to this guy who's not me?



I haven't totally decided.

He can...



He can live, or he can die.



- What are you leaning towards?

- Death.



- It's funnier.

- Fine.



He dies of a funny heart attack.



He's a schmuck, who screwed around

with our heroine, so it won't be sad.



Schmucks are people too, you know?



Death doesn't seem

a little harsh to you?



I went where the story took me. It's a

work of fiction, stuff that I made up.



They're ready to do the hospital

"Do you take Viagra?" scene.



- Should we wait for you?

- Yeah. That's good. That's fine.



So I'm gonna be

the laughing stock of Broadway?



Harry, he's not you.



He's a version of the truth

of you, so to speak.



Dave wants to know

when Henry says, "I love ya"...


            want that to be "ya,"

not "you," right?






Well, you look really nice.



Thank you.



- Are you feeling all right?

- You know...


            isn't like I wanted

to stop seeing you.



We could've carried on

a fun thing for a while.



Why is it that you broads

want all or nothing?



I don't know.



We're just goofy

when it comes to love.



Harry, if it's all right with you...



...l'd like to be friends.



I'm not ready to be your friend.

How's that?



Fine. I understand.



Anyway, do you actually

buy that horseshit?



That men and women can be friends

once they've had sex?



I'm friends with my ex-husband,

but we didn't just have sex.



We didn't just have sex either.



Then what was it? I'd love to know.



Can I e-mail it to you

when I figure it out?



Okay. Okay.



Just moving into another phase

with this thing. I'm mad at you.



- I think I'm mad at you too.

- Excellent!



Because I don't like thinking

about you so much...



...and worrying about how you are

and if I ruined your life.



- You've worried about me?

- Yes, honey.



The schmuck...



...who deserves to die...



...worries about you.



Sometimes worrying about you

feels like a full-time job.



Well, doll, I'm doing great.



So you don't have

to work that shift anymore.



Erica? They want you to look at

the costumes for the dancing Henrys.



Are these gonna work for you?



- Mr. Sanborn, back so soon?

- This is it, I'm dying.



I've had    minutes of severe chest

pains, nausea, shortness of breath...


            blood pressure's

gotta be    l   .



Give me the nitro,

I didn't take Viagra.



Plug me into an EKG.

I'm taking two beta-blockers...



...blood thinners, Lipitor, Procardia.



If I were you,

I'd pound on my chest.



Mr. Sanborn. Your diagnosis, although

fascinating, was entirely incorrect.



- Impossible!

- Do you realize...



...that a severe anxiety attack

can masquerade as a heart attack?



So I'm nuts.



Perfect. The one thing

I'm not taking pills for.



If you don't wanna

be here every week...



...I suggest you do whatever it takes

to decompress. Now lie down.



Just try something with me.

Come on.



Give me your hand.



Relax, relax.



All right, close your eyes.



Okay, good. I want you

to give yourself a visual...



Both eyes.



I want you to give yourself

a visual image...



...of something that gives you

a feeling of peace and serenity.



I don't know. What?



- A hammock.

- Good.



- What else?

- Palm trees.



Clear, blue water.



What else do you see? Feel?






A peach margarita.



A Cuban cigar.






...of soft beach.



I couldn't believe you were calling

from downstairs. You have a beard!



- It's great to see you.

- You couldn't look better.



Thank you. Well, come on in.



No, no. I just wanted

to stop by and say hi...



...and tell you I'm sorry if I ever did

anything that wasn't on the up and up.



What do you mean?

You were great to me.



- I was?

- Always.



That's refreshing. Good.



Well, I don't know what

you've done to yourself...



...but you look absolutely radiant.



I'm three months pregnant. That

might have something to do with it.



- Really?

- Yeah.



- Who's the lucky guy?

- My husband.



Hold on because he really wants

to meet you. Danny.



Harry Sanborn,

this is my husband, Danny Benjamin.



- Heard so much about you.

- I bet.



Well, you know,

with the play and all.



- I'm famous, huh?

- Hey, just to us.



In every interview my mom does,

she always says she made you up.



So the guy in the play

doesn't make it, does he?



He basically dies

at the end of the second act.



But it gets a huge laugh.



I was hoping

she'd give me a reprieve.



Yeah, well...






- Good seeing you. Congratulations.

- Thanks.



- How is she?

- She's really good.



Up to her old tricks. Learning Italian,

remodeling her apartment in the city...



Now, if I wanted to see her,

how would that go over?



Only one way to find out.

Except she's out of town right now.



Oh, yeah? Where is she?



Paris. She left two days ago

for her birthday.



But she'll be back next week.









- I knew you'd be here.

- You did?



At first I thought I had the wrong

restaurant, but here you are.



- Just like I imagined.

- You mean...



...we're not bumping into each other?



You came here to see me?



I'm aware it was a bold move...


            of those impulses that grabs

you, but so far we're okay.






- I mean... I kind of...

- It would be great...



...if you'd let me take that as a yes.



- Would you like a glass of wine?

- Yeah. I would.



I would love one.



I was just gonna give you a kiss hello.



- Okay.

- Whoa.






You remember how you said

if we still knew each other...



...we should go to Paris

for our birthdays?



Well, we still know each other.



That's true. But, Harry, I haven't

heard from you in six months.






After I saw you in the theater,

with the dancing Henrys...



- Yes. Sorry...

- No, it's very funny, by the way.



- I had another episode.

- Oh, I'm sorry.



Well, as it turned out, I was fine...



...but I was sure I was dying, and

the doctor in the ER said I needed...


            decompress. So I did.



I walked out of there

and changed my life.



Sold most of my businesses,

packed my bags...



...moved to an island in the Caribbean.



That is where you've been

all this time? The Caribbean?



Actually, no.



I was there about six hours...



...when it occurred to me

that wasting away on an island...



...couldn't possibly cure

what was ailing me.



So I decided

to take another kind of trip...



...into, let's call it, my past.

- Your past?



I thought if I visited some

of the women I've known...



...that maybe I could figure

out how I arrived at being me.



- Wow.

- Wow, yeah, it was quite a journey.



Hi, Louise. Remember me?



Hi, how are...?



Some of the ladies, I admit,

weren't too interested in seeing me...



...or even speaking to me,

but one day, my losing streak ended.



One of them opened up to me.



Hearing what she had to say was no

picnic, but I stuck it out and I listened.



And then I listened harder.

And one of the things I realized...



...was I was actually giving closure

to generations of women.



When you hear the same story

about yourself...



...over and over,

your life begins to add up.



Took me months to find them all.

Visited a dozen different states.



But I traveled the farthest to see you.



I don't believe it.



Me either.



- Doc. How are you?

- I'm good.



- Nice to see you.

- You too.



I should have told

you he was coming...



...but I was so engrossed

in your story. I just...



Sorry I'm late.



- What story?

- Oh, maybe another time.



So I guess I should've seen your play.

Would've known how this ended.



- Yeah.

- Yeah, big twist, huh?






So, what are you doing

over here, man?



Just a vacation.

I've never been to Paris in January.



It's amazing to run into you.

You look good.



- You look great.

- I haven't been on a gurney...


            six months, so that's something.



Well, I've just been

to every store in the city.



- What?

- This woman's impossible to buy for...



...but I think I finally found

the right gift.



Happy birthday, baby.



- I'll open it in a bit.

- No, no, no, no. You know what?



- I'm gonna let you two celebrate.

- Harry, no, please.



Stay. Join us for dinner.

We'd love to...



- I can't. I can't. Really.

- Why? You have somewhere to go?



I've spent a lot of time in hospitals.



It doesn't matter, right?



- Went to see a... What was it?

- No, it was a wheaten terrier.



So beautiful. So beautiful.



Make a wish.



To the forces of destiny

that brought us together.



Forces of destiny. Beautiful.



- You don't smoke.

- I'm in Paris.



Secondhand smoke

will kill you anyway.



She's very brilliant,

but the woman cannot hold her liquor.



- I like that about me.

- Me too.



If I were writing this,

this is where I would write:



"An awkward moment."



Honey, if you were writing this,

I'd be dead.



Never fails to amuse her.



- No. Let us.

- Oh, no.



- Please, let us.

- Doc, I insist. I crashed your party.



- No.

- Let me buy you dinner...



...on your birthday.



Thank you.



What time does that say?



- Oh, God, I have no idea.

- Oh, wait a minute, l...



Me too. Me too.



You think you look

so handsome in mine?



You know how long I have been

looking for those?



Yes, I do.



Thank you very much.



Excuse me. Thank you.



Once again, closure.



- Well, here we are.

- Harry, why don't you take it.



No, no. I think I'm gonna walk.

You two take it.






- Harry.

- Doc. Thanks for everything.



- Stay well.

- Well, this was fun.



And it was so great to see you.

Honest. So...



It was great to see you.






...Erica, if you ever...

- No.



- Take care of yourself, Harry.

- Yeah, I will. You too.



It's cold, huh?



Look who gets to be the girl.



Anything else?



- Where's Julian?

- He's back at the hotel.



He said when he saw me with you...



...he knew that I was still

in love with you.



What do you have to say about that?



If it's true, my life just got made.



Why'd you come here, Harry?



Turns out the heart attack

was easy to get over.






...were something else.

I finally get what it's all about.



I'm 63 years old,

and I'm in love...



...for the first time in my life.



That's what I came here to say.






- Sanborn.

- Mr. Sanborn.



Four and a half.



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