Voila! Finally, the Stitch The Movie
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Lilo and Stitch
spinoff. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Stitch The Movie. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Please, come closer.
Have a seat.
Tell me... what makes you think...
you are so qualified for this assignment?
Well, my previous occupation...
was Captain of the Galactic Alliance...
but... ahem... after my last mission, I was retired.
You let Experiment escape.
It wasn't my fault! The little trog...
This job has absolutely nothing to do with 626.
I know what the job is about...
and I believe I know the location...
of the item you seek.
Where is it? Where?
A tiny planet in Gamma Quadrant. They call it Earth.
Hey, Nani, you need some help?
Let me give you a hand.
- Where's Lilo? - She's not with you?
Look, a parking space! Whoa!
Ridiculous Earth vehicle. Needs evil genius tune-up.
I am thrilled.
My very first day at an Earth beach.
I've been studying mingling with locals.
Are you sure woolly one-piece bathing suit...
is from proper century?
Absolutely. Put on your hat.
Have you two seen Lilo?
We thought little girl was with you.
Today, you'll take your rightful place...
as part of the Hawaiian community.
Are you ready?
Nice skirt, but you don't need to dress up.
Just be yourself.
Maybe not that much yourself.
Now, remember, in Hawaii...
everybody calls each other "cousin."
Not because we're all related...
because we're one big ohana...
one happy family.
- Mmm. Mmm. - You'll be fine.
Just say, "Aloha, cousin."
I got it.
- Huh? - Huh?
Heh. Aloha, cousin.
Mmm. Smells good.
OK, who wants to slice the pineapple?
Y:i What happened?
Hey, that's my chain saw.
That blue dude, he's, like, totally freaky.
I told Lilo... no pets.
I brought ice cream.
It wasn't that bad.
After you left, I got to help put out the fire.
Oh. No cousins.
You're a part of our ohana now...
but getting everybody else to like you is harder.
Trust me. I know.
- I'm freaky. - You're different.
You're one of a kind...
You sure you can watch Lilo for a couple of hours?
You two go, have a good time.
Everything here is completely under control.
Why, I'm even fixing my very first Earth dinner.
You're fixing dog food.
I know. It makes its own gravy.
Here. Why don't you take this?
No. It's money... for pizza.
Don't worry. They'll be fine.
Yeah, I guess they're OK...
but I think Pleakley tries on my clothes.
Insert tab "A" into chromosome "B."
- Um, Jumba? - Spies!
Oh, . What do you want? I'm busy doing genius work here.
No cousins? Well, of course not.
We are each one of a kind, you and I...
evil genius scientist and evil genius creation...
all alone in infinite universe.
Sure, you have maybe found tiny adopted Earth family...
but we have no, as you say, cousins.
- Huh? - What is this?
Must be the pizza. I'll get it!
He's come back for Stitch.
Hurry. We can sneak out the back.
- Jumba, where are you going? - I got to take care of thing.
What is that?
What is what?
You can't have Stitch, you big dummy!
Dinko te fabba.
I'm not fat...
and I'm not here for the failed experiment .
- Stitch! - Where's Jumba?
You must take this and hide.
Oh, no. This is something bad... evil and bad.
- Take it. Take it. - No. Evil.
- Take it. Take it. - No. Bad.
- Take it. Take it. - No. Evil.
- Take it. Take it. - No. Bad.
Not to make a peep, my little one-eyed one...
Y:i or entire galaxy is doomed
But how am I supposed to breathe?
Gantu. Not see long time.
- Where are they? - They? Who they?
The other experiments.
Y:i Ha ha ha You must have me confused
Y:i with other evil genius scientist
What have we here?
Uh, is ping-pong ball.
Is Earth sport. Like tennis, but tinier.
You're a bad liar, Jumba.
Where are the other experiment pods?
I never discuss scientific research with big dummies.
Then perhaps you'll discuss it...
with your former partner, Dr. Hamsterviel.
Hamsterviel is alive?
And he wants his experiments back.
He's taking Jumba!
What are we going to do?
Where are you going?
Y:i Jumba and Pleakley's ship
Don't we need the keys?
Ha ha ha!
Thanks for the... Well, I guess it was a date.
- Was it? - We split the bill.
Yeah, but I paid the tip.
David, I'm not ready for a real date yet.
Things are still kind of lolo around here.
Come on. How bad can it be?
- Lilo! - Anybody here?
- No sign of her. - Or Stitch or those other two.
You stay here in case anybody comes back.
I'm going to go into town to look for them.
I'm sure it's OK.
She's probably just hanging out with her new friends.
- Do it again. - Ha! Jumba.
Computer, lock hyperdrive coordinates on...
please to be sharper with the shooting.
Ha! Right up his after-burner.
- Damage? - Engine one, % capacity.
Ah ha ha ha ha!
You had coffee today, didn't you?
Coconut cake and coffee.
That way! That way!
Reroute engine power to rear cannon and lock on target.
Y:i Target locked
- Good steering. - Mahalo.
- Aggataka! - Aah!
Heh heh heh heh.
We're losing all our power!
My turn this time.
Y:i Hyperdrive activated
- Waaaah! - Aaah!
Y:i I think we're out of gas
Y:i This is an emergency announcement
Y:i from Earth Central Command
Y:i Aliens from outerspace have invaded Earth
Y:i and are kidnapping our most brilliant scientists
Y:i for unknown purposes
Lilo, I knew you were OK.
Hey, you're missing our favorite movie.
Does Nani know I was out past my bedtime?
Yeah. She's out looking for you.
Jumba was kidnapped by Gantu.
- The big dummy? - Yep.
Aw, you and Stitch can handle him.
Hey, where'd Stitch go?
Oh, gosh. Oh, my.
Breathing first, talking second.
I'm ready now! Jumba! Gantu kidnapped Jumba!
- I know. - He was after this.
Y:i Container ready Select experiment
What is it?
It's some of Jumba's evil science.
Look at that.
Y:i It's more illegal genetic experiments!
You mean there are more besides Stitch?
Well, Stitch is number .
These must be the other !
They don't look like him.
They've obviously been dehydrated for transport.
How do they work?
Well, I'm no evil genius...
but I'd say if any of these pods get wet...
they would instantly rehydrate...
into one of the prototype Stitch experiments...
each with its own unique and highly destructive capability!
But I'm just guessing.
With more Stitches, I bet we could rescue Jumba.
We could activate one and go back into space...
Hold it! Hold everything!
These experiments are highly unstable and very dangerous.
Y:i We're gonna keep these locked up
Y:i Safe and dry
And as for you two, you must never... repeat, never...
open that container.
If those pods were to get wet...
it could create mass mayhem and planet-wide panic!
- Got it. - Smish!
David, I looked everywhere. Have you heard anything?
They're fine, Nani. They're playing upstairs.
Hey, you know, I'm gonna get you a cell phone.
Lilo! Thank goodness you're OK.
Uhh! Stop it! You're hugging me to death!
Where were you? What happened?
Captain Gantu came back and kidnapped Jumba...
so me and Stitch hot- wired the spaceship...
and we chased 'em into outer space...
which was really cool, but then...
Wait, wait, wait. While David and I went to dinner...
you went to outer space?
I'm not finished.
So, Gantu got away, and we ran out of power.
And then Stitch saved the ship...
and then we came home...
and then you came home and tried to hug me to death.
Now I'm finished.
I thought you said I had nothing to worry about.
I was locked in a footlocker.
And why are you wearing my favorite T-shirt?
It's not even your color.
What are we gonna do about Jumba?
What am I, an astronaut? He was abducted by aliens, Lilo.
We can't just forget about him.
He's part of our ohana.
I know it's late, but I need to talk to Cobra Bubbles.
It's an emergency.
Y:i WOMA N e's aseep ight now
So wake him up!
I'm going to make a few calls myself...
using my trusty Intergalactic Periwinkle Pages.
There's only so many phones in the galaxy.
Hello, Planet Aaaaaah? Is Jumba there?
Y:i - Do you know what time it is?! - You don't have to be rude
Y:i I bet one of those other experiments could help us
Too bad Pleakley said not to open it.
Hmm. Pleakley also said not to get them wet.
Hello, Planet Aaaaaah-ba? Is Jumba there?
- Go jump in a lake! - Same to you, fella!
Wait! We don't need all of them.
Y:i Just look for one that can recharge the ship
Y:i Container ready
Y:i Select experiment
Primary function... electrical power surge.
Y:i Experiment activated
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Y:i Oh. Come on
Y:i Hey. What's going on?
Y:i Dark! Very dark!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
Ohh. Cousin lost.
You have a lot of lost issues.
But if we can find we can find Jumba!
Come on. I'll get a flashlight.
Ohh. El kayo tay. Ha ha!
Prepare yourself for cruel and interminable torture.
I'm not afraid of torture...
excepting maybe a little bit.
I'm certain Dr. Hamsterviel will find your "little bit."
Gantu, you're late!
Ah! Dr. Jacques Von Hamsterwheel.
Hamsterviel! It is Hamsterviel!
You stole my evil genius experiments, Jumba!
Perhaps, since you paid for experiments, the evil is yours.
But genius was all mine!
What?! Come down here and say that!
Funny, you are shorter than I'm remembering.
But you still have twitchy nose, like gerbil.
I am not gerbil-like! I am hamster-like!
You with your four eyes and inexplicable accent!
Ahem! Anyway, I did find this one experiment pod.
Jumba refused to reveal the location of the others...
Y:i so I brought him to you for interrogation
You incompetent fish head of a minion!
I kick your stinky oversized feet!
Wait. What? Interrogation?
Ha! All right, you, take this!
Don't just stand there. Bring me a phone book!
He couldn't have gone too far.
Maka maka! Sasa!
Maybe he went this way.
Y:i If you do not tell me
Y:i where the otherexperiments can be found
I will begin with the threatening!
Your threatenings don't threaten me.
Then I will threaten your family.
Ha! I have no family! Ha ha ha ha!
Perhaps I will activate the one experiment pod...
and leave you to its tortures.
Ohh. He has all powers the same as .
He'll torture your little doughboy body into talking!
Activate the experiment!
Any second now, you'll hear his tortured cries of regret.
"Please let me out! I'll tell you everything!"
Any second now.
His pathetic screaming, begging for mercy!
Should be right about...
- I don't hear anything. - Shut up! I can't hear!
- Huh? - Huh?
Funny thing... has all powers of .
Even has advanced language programming.
Unfortunately, he is also lazy coward.
Heh heh heh. But makes great sandwiches.
Ham or tuna?
Y:i I am irked!
It's on the other side of the fence.
Lilo, what are you doing here?
You're having a camp-out?
But you told me everyone was sick.
We are sick... sick of you.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
Who needs your dumb, fakey camp- out anyways?
We're looking for a genetic experiment...
from another galaxy...
so we can recharge a spaceship and rescue Jumba from aliens!
- You're a liar. - No, I'm not.
It's in your yard... right over there.
That's a bug electrocuter, not an alien.
You and your disconfigured dog are total freaks!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
You can spit acid on 'em if you want to.
Come on, Stitch.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Don't let Nani hear us.
It's so past my bedtime.
Lilo! It is so past your bedtime!
And don't forget to brush your teeth!
One more call before bed.
- Hello? - Is Jumba there?
Y:i This is he him speaking
How did you get number for Gantu's detention cell?
I just called the number listed here..."Detention cell phone."
Ohh! Cell phone! I get it. Heh heh heh!
There must be some way...
to make that morally bankrupt scientist talk!
I think I'm gonna make a sandwich.
Gantu, how about a sandwich?
I don't want a sandwich!
You sure? Last of the bologna.
I don't like bologna! Too fatty.
Y:i Unauthorized communication intercepted
Y:i Detention cell two
So, then monkey says to rabbi...
What's going on here?
Excuse me. Interrupting punch line.
- Sorry. - Stop apologizing!
Give me that!
Now listen to me, you caller of Jumba, you.
It's the kidnapper.
OK. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
What's he saying?
He says he wants all other experiments...
as a ransom, or we'll never see Jumba alive!
Wait for my phone call.
I will then tell you the ransom exchange location...
and call you many nasty names! Ha ha!
Hang that up!
- No, slam it! - Oh, sorry.
What are we gonna do?
Y:i What ae wwe gonna do?
- Cobra. How are you? - Sleepy.
Cobra! Thank goodness.
It's terrible. Just terrible!
- Jumba's been... - Kidnapped.
- That's right. By... - Dr. Hamsterviel.
- And he's demanding a... - Ransom.
- Of the... - Other experiments.
How do you know all that stuff?
Information is power. And I like power.
What do you think we should do?
Wait for Hamsterviel's next call.
Once we have the rendezvous location...
Pleakley and I will exchange...
all the remaining experiments for Jumba.
From there, we follow the governmental procedure.
And what's the governmental procedure?
This is now an intergalactic incident.
You are to take no further action...
other than what I have indicated.
Is that clear, Lilo?
Yep. Me and Stitch are gonna go out and play.
And not take further action.
That kidnapper wants all the experiments.
We've got to find the sparky little electrical one...
we lost or no Jumba.
We've gotta search the entire island.
Kanjijibe. Zz-zzz! Ha ha!
- What's that?! - Look out!
I'm thinking... he's this way.
This looks promising.
Don't lose him! I'll find something to catch him in.
Meega nala kweesta!
Grab him, Stitch!
- Huh? Aah! - Aah! Ohh!
- Uhh! - Aaaah!
- Uhh! - Got him!
Aw, isn't he cute? He's got your smile.
I've been working on your chart.
As you can see, it's not nearly as bad as Stitch's was.
Y:i Too bad we have to give you away
- No! - What do you mean, no?
- We gotta get Jumba back. - Cousin. Ohana.
You know what? You're right.
It's like I said... we're all one big happy family.
Y:i It's the call! The call!
I'll get it! I'll get it! Oof!
Be calm. Get the rendezvous information, then hang up.
Calm, rendezvous, hang up. Here I go.
Y:i Hello. Mr Ple-akley
Y:i Hi. This is the "New You Wonder Girdle Company"
Y:i calling regarding your order
Oh! Wrong number. Girdle?
Y:i I wouldn't need a girdle for my disguise
Y:i because it's an undergarment
Why would I use a girdle?
- I didn't order anything! - What?!
Oh. Hello, how are you? It's Hamsterwheel.
Y:i Hamsterviel! Hamsterviel!
The lighthouse in minutes, and don't be late.
That's what he said.
This is an unfortunate complication.
I know. We can take the ridiculous Earth vehicle.
Where's Pleakley and Cobra?
They went to the lighthouse to get Jumba back.
- But... - I've got to go to work.
- But... - No more buts.
Just stay here.
What a stunning example of Earth architecture.
Why isn't the big light all flashy spinny aroundy?
The beacon hasn't been lit for years... too costly.
Hamsterviel should be here by now.
He sounded much bigger on the phone.
Stop talking about me, you gossipy pea-brains.
Do you have the ransom?
Do you have Jumba? That's my question to you, sir.
Bring out the four-eyed fathead!
Jumba, you're OK!
Enough with your teary reunion.
Commence with the giving me all the experiments.
Y:i experiments logged and functional
? There's one missing.
Code yellow. Delay movement.
My ransom demand was for all the experiments.
Y:i You are trying to pull a sneaky thing
Ha ha! What is one tiny experiment between old partners?
Quiet. I am blaming you for this.
- Dispose of him. - Gladly.
No! He's allergic to plasma blasts.
Listen to him. Is true.
I've got the missing experiment.
What? Who is this?
A little Earth girl who can be a gigantic pain in the rear.
Well done, Lilo.
Now give it to the diminutive gerbil-like creature.
Not gerbil, hamster!
- Give it to me! - No.
Lilo, it's the only way you can save Jumba.
But I got to save Sparky, too.
You've named it?
Yep. We're going to name all the experiments.
Mmm. Iki pataba.
Shut up with all your not shutting up.
Hand it over.
Y:i Lilo. Do what he says
Whose side are you on?
He's on saving-my-life side. Is good side.
You fail to comprehend the complexity of the situation.
Do you want your Jumba or not?
Make your choice, little girl.
OK. I've decided. You can't have either of them.
- Be free, little cousin. - Ha ha ha!
- Now you save Jumba. - Chuppy cheepa.
- Begin the shooting. - Finally.
Stay calm. We're completely safe here.
Code green! Now! Now!
Lock all sensors on the fugitive.
Activate external sound.
Y:i Dr Hamsterwheel
Y:i you are hereby ordered to surrender
It's Hamsterviel, you absurd Grand Councilwoman...
Y:i with your large pointy collar
Prepare to fire.
Don't shoot! He's got Stitch's cousins.
Fire at will.
Major electrical surge. All systems failing.
Hurry up, you great lumbering idiot.
This is Cobra. - .
All systems offline. No injuries reported.
We're all right.
Our little broken family is back together.
I have family?
Ooh. I have family.
And you've got family, too, Stitch.
We're getting those experiments back.
Well, now what do we do?
We hope they can pull off another miracle.
Y:i Container ready Select experiment
Oh ho ho ho! So many nasty experiments.
I shall wreak mayhem on the stinky Galactic Empire.
- Thank you. - What?
You little trog.
- Pesky Earthling. - You want it? Catch.
Why, you little...
Ha ha ha!
Get them back!
The window's open!
Y:i Warning Window is open
Be free, cousins.
Ah, little girl has saved experiments.
Is very good.
Very good? Well, it's not very good.
It's the opposite of very good.
It's very bad.
experiment pods activated by water...
raining down on one of the wettest spots on Earth?
- Actually, is only . - Whatever.
I'm afraid Pleakley is right.
This is indeed very bad.
This should keep you two out of trouble...
until Dr. Hamsterviel can dispose of you properly.
That didn't exactly work out...
but at least we saved all the cousins.
Maybe Jumba and Pleakley and Nani and David...
will find them a nice home.
Igeeba. Ohh. Oomph.
Don't be scared, Stitch.
Y:i I'll figure out a way to rescue you
Nobody gets left behind.
You think you are so...
Phone book! Phone book!
Phone book. Yes, sir.
You think you are so clever, don't you?
You think you have outsmarted...
the infamous Dr. Jacques Von Hamsterviel.
Well, you made one grave mistake...
you oh-so-adorable little Hawaiian girl.
You delivered to me Experiment Number .
I will now clone him and create my own personal army!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
What shall I do with the little Earth girl?
She is of no use to me.
Unh! Uhh! Ooh!
Struggle all you want.
You think you are so super-strong...
with your "I can lift up to times my weight."
That is exactly why...
I designed this restraint to hold your weight...
...times three thousand and one!
Let me go!
Heh heh heh. I know a nice zoo...
that will pay handsomely for an exotic specimen like you.
Y:i One minute to teleport
Unfortunately, my patented cloning process...
has one nasty side effect.
I have to cut you in half!
Y:i Emergency alarm activated
- Location? - Detention cell two.
Oh, not again.
? What's the emergency?
I need to know our coordinates.
I just got us a deal on a bunch of bologna.
The suspense is killing me.
Ohh. Thanks, cousin.
I wasn't really going to cut you in half.
It was a joke. Ha!
Didn't Jumba put a funny bone in you?
- Help! - Lilo.
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Y:i . . .
- Rarr! - .
Y:i Teleporting now
Stitch? I'm in this one.
Y:i Bologna ordersent
Y:i Sending little girl in seconds
What are you doing in here?
You're not taking my ship.
Gantu, where's my bologna?
I got nothing here but cheese.
- Where are they? - Who?
The Earth girl and .
I don't know. Not in here.
Have a nice trip. Hit it, Sparky.
The navigation is disabled.
Y:i Warning... navigation disabled
Ah, grilled cheese.
I don't think we're going to be going anywhere.
Looks like you and I are working together, huh?
No, I don't want a sandwich!
Unless you have egg salad.
Nope. Only cheese.
Have you not been paying attention?
Aloha! We're back!
- Lilo! - My genius experiment!
These manacles are too tight...
you miserable, oppressive do-gooders, you.
We catch bad guy. You're welcome.
Place him in the high-security gerbil cage.
Hamster cage! I am hamster-like!
I will be back, you slobbering...
stinking humanoids and other aliens!
What are we going to do with you, Sparky?
You like making big bunches of power, right?
But you keep blowing up things...
like light bulbs and spaceship consoles.
You need something really big to play with...
something that won't explode when you touch it.
What is it, Stitch?
Zz-zz. Ha ha!
Well, if that isn't a pretty sight.
This planet just never ceases to amaze.
Is just -watt alternating current...
powering catadioptric lens at candela.
It is beautiful...
which makes it all the more tragic...
that Earth is now infested with illegal genetic experiments.
I'm afraid I have no choice but to evacuate the planet...
and have them destroyed.
- What? - What?
You can't destroy the experiments.
They're ohana... cousins...
and each one of them has a place where they belong...
just like Sparky belongs at the lighthouse...
and Stitch belongs with me.
In fact, I'm starting to think...
we're all cousins even me and you.
Hmm. Very well.
I won't destroy the experiments.
If you can retrieve each and every one...
and find, as you say, the place where each belongs.
But they're out there right now...
and they're all very bad, right?
Yes, is true...
but once experiment is turned to good...
is completely useless for bad.
I'm trying to fix for . Hee heh heh.
I hereby designate you...
an Undercover Intergalactic Experiment Retriever...
and Stitch, too.
That's crazy talk.
- There are ... - .
Uhh. A whole lot of pods out there.
How are you going to find them?
Lt'll be easy... like an Easter Egg hunt.
Yes, but even more deadly.
You must find them before they get wet.
Before they get wet? No problem.
Come on. We've got cousins to find.
- . - Whatever.
Are you sure they can handle this?
Lilo is a very persistent little girl.
And with they make one hotshot...
evil-genius-experiment catching team.
Y:i Tooki bobaba!
Hey, maybe the Grand Councilwoman...
will let us go home with her this time.
I'll get the wig.