Sweet Home Alabama Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Sweet Home Alabama script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Reese Witherspoon,  Patrick Dempsey, and Dakota Fanning.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Sweet Home Alabama . I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Sweet Home Alabama Script

Come on, Jake.
- Slow down!

Hurry up, Jake!
- Melanie!

I gotta get home.
My mom's gonna kill me.

Wow, did you see that?


Well, answer the question!
- No!

No, you won't answer,
or no, you won't marry me?

Jake Perry, I'm    years old.
I got too much to live for.

Not that way, you dolt!
Come on!

It's hot. Don't touch it.
We'll be safe here.

Says who?
- Everybody.

Lightning never strikes
the same place twice.

Why would you want to
marry me for anyhow?

So I can kiss you
any time I want.

I need more coffee, guys.

I'm gonna switch...
It's a warning!

Oh, my God.

You know, that accent of yours...

is a whole lot thicker
when you're dreaming.

All right, how come
y'all let me sleep?

Oh, calm down.
It was   minutes.

What did I say?

We're all getting big, fat
raises when you become somebody.

Oh, did they kill Badgley Mishka!

Okay, laugh now, but
tomorrow it could be us.

Not us... you.
I just make the coffee.

Thank you.

I'll see you at the show.

Bye, Mel.

There's a rose for every moment
I thought of you last night.

God, you must be exhausted.

Listen, knock 'em dead.
I'll see you at the show.

It's gonna be great.

I love you.

I can't wait to see you.

Okay, people,
we are officially late!

- Yes?!

This top is supposed
to be neon aubergine,...

but it's all wrong!
It's all wrong!

Okay, don't panic.
That's my job.

Um... okay.
Put her on after Anoke.

The third light cue is yellow.
She'll look eggplant.

Pan, uh, the reason it's all
wrong is it's on backwards.

Ooh, Miss Vixen, I'm scared of you.

Frederick, what are you doing
here? You're the competition.

Competition? Please! Our
design's for plumes and pearls,...

and nothing is going to come
between me and my protege.

And this is, after all,
all about me.

Oh, I love this. Stella
McCartney's gonna kill herself.

Then why do I feel like
I'm in Times Square buck naked?

Baby doll, you're
gonna be just fine.

Seven years ago, you were this
debutante off the plantation,...

and now you're my steel magnolia
with her very own show.

Okay, get out of here
before you make me cry.

Bonne chance!

Big smile!
Great! Thank you!

Good to see you.

Secretary Hennings, do you have
a moment for a few questions?

Andrew, are you excited
about the show?

Uh, of course,
I'm very excited.

Did you get to see the models?
- The models? Why, uh...

Please tell me
he has a flaw somewhere.

He asked me to go to
Ireland for Christmas.

He's gonna ask you
a lot more than that.

You think so?

Hey, let's go!
- Let's do this!

All right, we gotta go.
- Places, everyone!

Come on, let's go, line up.
- Have a good show.

Okay, no smiles,
no smiles, just smirks!

Oh, congratulations.

You're amazing.
Those flowers were insane.

Oh, well, I just want
this day to be perfect.

Oh, God, honey,
what if they hate me?

Oh, they're critics, Mel.
They hate themselves.

That's easy for you to say.

I wasn't born with
that thick Hennings skin.

No, you weren't, and that
is what I love about you.

Ah, honey, I'm sorry, I got
a meeting in the Bronx.

But you go and enjoy, and
I'll see you later. Okay?

Oh, and, hey, we've got that
thing tonight at Lincoln Center.

What thing?

Fund-raiser thing.

Right, the thing...
with your mother.

That's tonight.

I'm afraid so.

I am so proud of you.

Thank you.

- I love you.

I love you, too.

His meeting's running
a little late.

He told me to take you inside
so you wouldn't have to wait.

Where are we?

I'm so tired, Jimmy.

I've just had it.

Well... he shouldn't be
too long.

Miss Carmichael,
won't you come in?

So... have you made a decision?
- About what?


Ireland, honey,
that's four months from now.

I was thinking maybe
 ...     guests, tops.

For Christmas?

Andrew, are you on
some sort of medication?

What's going on?
Where are we?

Oh, my God.

Melanie Carmichael...

will you marry me?

Are you sure?

I mean, a-a-are you really sure?

Because if you're not sure, we
could just go back to the car.

It's only been   months.

You know I never do
anything rash.

And I usually never ask a question
I don't already know the answer to,...

so... at the risk of being rejected
twice, I'm gonna ask you again.

Will you marry me?


Pick one.

Mayor, just one shot!
One shot!

Can you comment on
the Watson bill?

Over here, Mayor, please!
Over here!

Thank you.
- Where is he?

He's running late.

No doubt thanks to
that Carbuncle girl.

Carmichael... designer, Southern.
- Right, whatever.

Your Honor,
how do you answer those...

who are opposed to the
street-improvement project...

you put before
the city council today?

I suggest they take a drive on
some of the streets in Brooklyn.

Maybe they'll disappear
into a pothole.

Your son's relationship
with Melanie Carmichael...

sources say they're engaged.
Do you have a comment?

Trust me, if my son were
engaged, I'd have a comment.

I thought you were tired.

Jimmy, can you excuse us
for a second?

I've been planning
this for weeks.

I knew your show would be great,
and tonight is perfect.

Oh, God, I can't wait to see
the look on my mother's face.

Come on, let's call your parents.
- No!

I mean...
not right this second.

What I mean is, uh...

Honey, would you mind terribly...

if we just kept this to
ourselves for a few days?

Mel, it's gonna come out
sooner or later.

No, I know, I know, but, um,...

it's just, I haven't seen
my folks in about   years,...

and I just feel like I should
probably tell them in person.

Of course.

And, um... I think
I should do it alone.

Mel, I'm gonna have to
meet them eventually.

I know, I know, and
they will love you...


Is it because I'm a Yankee?
- Well, that... and a Democrat.

Okay... mum's the word.

No one will know.
- Thank you.

Secretary Hennings,
will you comment...


Why haven't you told your
mother you're engaged?

Have you thought about children?

I'm sorry we're late.

That shade of lipstick does
nothing for you. What kept you?

Oh, it's none of your business.

Ah, you know I hate surprises.
What's going on?

Oh, Tom, always a pleasure.
Good to see you.

Melanie, darling.
- Hi, Your Honor.

So good to see you.

Look at you... always
the belle of the ball.

I hear very good things
about your new line.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.
- Always a pleasure.

- Yes?

Seems Melanie is wearing a skating rink
on a very important finger.

Um, Your Honor, I'd
really like to keep it...

Oh, my God, you're engaged?!


Bloody hell, Mel,
I'm your first New York friend,

and I have to read about it
with    million other people!

Sorry, honey,
she just grabbed my hand.

What was I supposed to do?

I know...
we read all about it.

So, did you cry?
- Wouldn't you?

One man for the rest of my life?
I'd bawl my bloody eyes out.

So why don't you meet us?
We're just around the corner.

I'm in Alabama.

Oh... my God.

He's loud, but he don't bite.

Come on, shut up, hound!
Lie down.

Go on, stay.

Now, how can I help you?

Well, for starters, you can get
your stubborn ass down here...

and give me a divorce.

Come on, Jake, I mean it.
The joke's over.

Let's just finish this.
I've got a plane to catch.

You're shittin' me, right?

You know, I've never actually
understood that expression,...

but, no,
I'm not "shitting" you.

Look, it's even got these idiot-proof
tabs to make it easy.

There's one copy for me,
one copy for you...

and one copy for the lawyers.

What? Speak!

You show up here after   years...

without so much as a "Hey, there,
Jake, remember me... your wife?"

Or a "Hi, honey.
Lookin' good.

How's the family?"

You expect me to tell you
you look good?

Did they run out of soap down at
the Piggly Wiggly since I left?

They laugh at that up north
or wherever it is you been?

You knew where I was.

And don't even pretend you spent
all this time missing me.

Oh, I missed you,
all right.

But at this range,
my aim is bound to improve.

Is that a threat?

I've got a lawyer
who charges $    an hour.

He billed me every time
you sent these papers back.

Well, I'm glad to see
you finally got the message.

Shut up, Bear!
- Shut up, Bryant!

What happened to Bear?
- He died.

You weren't here.

What are you doing?!

Leavin'. You done it.
You should recognize the gesture.

Could we just try to keep this
as civilized as possible?

Please sign these papers
so I can go home.

What do you know from home?

Hell, I bet your folks don't
even know you're in town.

That's my business.

Honey, those people are
the only family you got.

Don't you "honey" me, honey!

Get your butt back in that car,
you drive over and see 'em,...

and then maybe we'll talk.

Jake! You dumb, stubborn,
redneck hick!

The only reason you won't sign these
papers is 'cause I want you to!

Wrong! The only reason
I ain't signin'...

is 'cause you've turned into
some hoity-toity Yankee bitch...

and I'd like nothin' better
right now than to piss you off!

What are you doin' with
Mose Plydell's plane anyhow?!

That's my business!

Divorce, my ass.

Hey, genius...

Next time you lock somebody out,...

make sure they don't know
where the spare key's hidden.

Well, see, that's the thing
about Hide-A-Keys...

it'd be nice if your wife
told you where it was!

I'm not your wife, Jake.

I'm just the first girl...

that climbed
in the back of your truck.

But you're right...
I have changed.

I don't even know
that girl anymore.

Well, then...
allow me to remind you.

"Born into one of the wealthiest
families of Greenville, Alabama,

her daddy's in cotton and
all that that implies."

There's no listing for an
Earl Carmichael in Greenville.

How about her local high school?

No record of a Melanie
Carmichael attending... ever.

Jesus! Whatever happened
to responsible journalism?

There's something wrong here.

Why would my son do this to me?

Maybe he, um, loves her.

Oh, please!
This is classic rebound.

He's still wounded from...
who was his last girlfriend?

Whitney Truesdale,
lawyer, San Francisco.

Yeah, well, there was
a match made in Heaven...

society, political family,

all those electoral votes.

Get Andrew on the phone.

Since we have a small window
for the Secretary of Housing,

please hold your questions
until after the presentation.


Did you see the look
on my mom's face?

I thought her head
was going to explode.

Yeah, what did she say?

That I should date women
like Melanie, not marry them.

That's harsh.
- That's Mom.

Thank you.
- Thanks a lot.

We hope to have the Bronx Children's Hospital 
open by fall     .

Oh, speak of the devil.

So, have you two lovebirds
set a date?

I'm pleading the Fifth.

Okay, fine, just try to keep
your secrets. I dare you.

Oh, at least you sound like
you're in a better mood.

My approval rating
went up   points.

It seems the public likes
being reminded I am a mother.

God, always running for office.

I'm only thinking of you.
Say, um...

do you happen to have the Carmichaels'
number down there in Greenville?

I thought perhaps
I should introduce myself.

I would like to meet them first,
if you don't mind.

You do realize the press
is going to be all over this.

Happy couples don't sell.

So if there are any skeletons
in her closet, Andrew,...

we need to know about them.

You make clothes, right?

I design them.
There's a big difference.

Did you design anything
with stripes?

You called the sheriff?!

You know that old bastard
hates me!

For good reason!

Well, hell's bells, if
it ain't Felony Melanie.


Hot damn, girl,
do we miss you around here!

Hey, I think I saw poor, old
Fuzz just the other day.

Oh, God,
you had to bring that up.

I can't believe
you're the sheriff!

Yep, I get to frisk pretty
little things like you all day...

and get paid for it.

Wade, can you try and be
a little more professional?

We got us a crime suspect here.

Now, Melanie, you can't just go
breaking into people's houses.

I didn't break in, Wade.
I used a key...

my key.

Well, it still ain't your house, darlin'.
I'm gonna have to escort you out.

Use the cuffs, Wade, please?

If you get him to sign these,
I'll let you run me out of town.

Now, that's none of your concern.

Well, what do we got here?

A bill of divorcement?

Hell, boy, I thought you said
you took care of this.

And I thought I had.

Obviously not.

Well, if you two are still
married, it's her house, too.

This here ain't nothin'
but a domestic dispute.

He didn't hit you, did he?

If he took a swing at you,
I'll take him in right now.

We take that stuff
pretty serious nowadays.

No, Wade,
Jake's never hit me.

You know what?

I don't have a single childhood memory
that doesn't have you two in it.

And that includes the night
I lit my ass on fire. Remember?


Memory Lane is closed.

Ah, boy, you two got a whole lot
of catchin' up to do...

so I'm just gonna
leave you to it.

Man, I set you up with
your wife. You owe me one!

Why won't you just
sign the papers?!

There is nothin' I can do.

The law is the law,
and she has done nothin' wrong.

I suppose shoplifting steaks
at Winn-Dixie's okay.

I took 'em back,
and you know it!

You remember that vandalism out
at the stockyard? Totally her!

Like I could tip a cow
by myself.

Wade... isn't there
some outstanding warrant

for whoever dumped your mama's
tractor in the fishpond?

We only have    of these, and
it's gonna be gone for good.

So if you are loving
this monster...

We have eight only?

If I knew how to say that in
Italian, I would, but I don't.

If you love this...

 :  ? Honestly.

Who could be callin'
at this hour?


Hey, Mama.

Melanie? Is that you?

Oh, it's so late.
Are you all right?

I just thought
I'd surprise you.

Well, this certainly is a fine
surprise, hearing from you...

you know,
being such a busy girl and all.

Of course, I call people while I'm
doin' the dishes or shellin' peas.

Oprah calls it "multitasking."

Mama, the call isn't the surprise.
I'm in town.

Oh, Lord, love a duck!

Oh, my baby girl
has finally come home.

Earl, she's in town.
- You gonna repeat everything she says?

If you are, get off my chair.
- Mama...

I'm just sittin' here, is all.

What happened to the sound?

I turned it down
so I could hear the phone ring.

- What, are you a clairvoyant?

It was so loud,
I couldn't hear myself think.

They could have heard it
at Joe and Lurlynn's house.

- I only get   minutes.

Oh, honey, you didn't need
to call, then. Just come on by.

Well, that's the thing.

I was sorta hoping
Daddy could come get me.

So, what put you in jail this time?
- Jake and his big, fat mouth.

It's just a misunderstanding,
that's all.

Yeah, kinda like that
weddin' I paid for, huh?

I would hardly call that
a wedding.

Boy was nervous.

He was still drunk
from the night before.

Can you blame him?
- Yes, I can!

I went to the reception
by myself with puke...

all down my dress while he slept
it off in the Travelodge,...

and you're still siding with that...

I'm not sidin' with anybody.

The boy's changed, is all.

Can we just
not talk about Jake, okay?

I know he's the son you never
had, but I'm your only daughter...

and maybe you want to know
what's new with me.

Okay, shoot.

I met somebody...

and he's quite a catch.

He's really a great guy.

And I'm happy... really.

Come to Mama, sugar!

Oh, good land of the livin',
you are skin and bones.

Well, don't I get a smile?

I know you got one
in there somewhere.

Come on, come on, let's not
let all the bought air out.

Well, are you hungry, sweetie?

Do you want me to reheat you
some chicken-fried steak?

Oh, no, Mama, I'm fine.

Sweetie, you look tired.

Are you tired?
Oh, you know what?

Maybe it's the way
you're wearing your hair now.

You guys have really done
a lot with the place.

Lord, would you listen
to that accent?

Why don't you sit
in my good chair?

Now, your mama got me this
Christmas before last.

Oh, you mean the one where you
were supposed to come visit me?

I told you time and time again,
it just didn't suit.

Let me... let me get
you those tickets.

Sit down in it.
Sit down.

Now, watch this.

I mean, isn't that
quite the deal?

There are hardly words.

Now, how do I get
out of this thing?

Oh, my God!

Jake tell you
he's thinkin' of gettin' one?

Oh, I see your priorities...

Jake, jail, and then home.

Mama, it was just unfinished
business, is all.

Jake's doin' all right.
Boy's goin' places.

Once upon a time,
you were goin' places, too.

Here are your tickets.

These were a gift.

I'd rather you guys
just use them.

You know what I can't understand
is how y'all will visit...

every stupid battlefield
in the continental U.S.,...

but you can't manage
to visit your only daughter.

Well, the door swings
both ways, sweetie.

Anyway, don't get me started on
the things I don't understand.

Here we go.

Your dream for me was to get out
of this place and be somebody.

You shoved me in every beauty
pageant in the state.

I'm just sayin', is all.

What?! What are you
trying to say?!

I mean, just tell me what
I can do to make you happy!

Just make yourself happy, darlin'.

We're there, all right?

You know, I've really
made something of myself.

I have a career. People
actually want to be me.

And somebody loves me,
and I love him.

Pearl, why don't you get us that
baloney cake out the icebox?

Your mama's a complex woman.

I'm going to bed.

Good night, darlin'.

But you know nothing about her.

Are you even sure who she is?

I love her, Mom.

That's nice,
but you have to be careful.

You and I are different.

We're not better, not worse...
we're just different.

We're in public life to serve,
and to serve...

to the best of our abilities,
we have to set good examples.

Do you have to control everything?

I've put a hold on the Plaza
for the second weekend in June.

That should give you
a nice, long engagement.

We were thinking Christmas in Ireland.

If you think I'm going to let some
girl talk you into getting married...

She is not "some girl."
- ...any place but New York City.

She's my fiancee, for Christ's sake.

You are just like your father.

One minute you're brilliant,
controlled, steadfast.

The next you're throwing it all away
on some young piece of ass.

Those are your issues, Mother.

Not mine.

Hold on.

You know what? Uh...

How long does
a contested divorce take?


Mr. Buford,
I don't have    months.

I don't have    days.

Okay, well, that's just
not gonna work for me.

Don't see the likes of you
around these here parts much!

Mr. Buford, that's not gonna work.

Lady, you look like
sex on a stick in that...

Frederick Montana getup!
- I have to call you back.

Listen, bubba,
why don't you just kiss my...

Oh, my God!

Get in the truck, there, missy,...

'cause I don't do that sort
of thing on the street.

I guess your mama raised you right.

What is that?
Calvin Klein? That's very nice.

Very good.
I better back off.

Don't want to get you in trouble
with the little lady.

There is a little lady,
isn't there?

I can hardly afford me, much
less some high-maintenance babe.

What about
Cindy What's-her-name?

You guys were real hot
and heavy in high school.

She's a women's softball coach
up in Nashville.

Well, that explains some
lingering questions that I had...

about a game of post office
we played one time.

I guess we all have our little
secrets, don't we, Bobby Ray?

Yeah, we sure do.

'Course, I read about
yours on the Internet.


Oh, I know all about
the cocks in your henhouse.

Oh, God!
Bobby Ray!

You sure do know how
to make a girl blush.

Well, I gotta get back
to the factory,...

but are you in town
for a while?

Oh, God, I hope not. No,
I'm just hitting the bank.

Well, I better scram.

Very funny.

Been really good to see you.
- Good to see you, too.

How's your leg?

Oh, it don't give me too much
trouble, Miss Melanie.

Dorothea, I'm gonna
take my lunch.

Well, look what
the cat dragged in.


Oh, my God, you've...
- Lost     pounds, I know.

Well... congratulations.
- Thanks.

I noticed that you
don't have an ATM.

Oh, them things.
Russ don't want to put one in...

on account of you lose personal
contact with the customers.

Yes, that would be tragic.

Wade said you and Jake
had quite the reunion.

But that's just
pillow talk talkin'.

Are you and Wade...

Goin' on three years.

it ain't Tiffany's.

But then again, you can't believe
everything you hear on TV.

I need to make a withdraw from my...
- Joint account?

My what?

with Jake.

From what I hear,
y'all are still married.

Why, yes.

Yes, we are.

Lookin' good.
How's the family?

Cut the shit.
Where's my stuff?

Now, what kind of wife
would I be...

if I didn't pick up
after my husband?

The kind that don't live here.

Now, I'm gonna ask you
one last time.

Where is the Hide-A-Key?!

I had the sweetest chat with
Wade's mama about her tractor.

Nice to see you got
your accent back.

Oh, I stumbled across
a few things today.

Holy shit!

What happened to the stove?!

And where are them little magnets
I had over here, huh?!

What the hell is this...
chick food?

Light beer... less calories.

I tried to pick out
a new bed,...

but have you been to
the Sit 'n Sleep lately?

Yuck. I'll just have to order
something from New York.

Whatever blows
your dress up, darlin'.

You go right ahead
and spend your money.

Oh, but, darlin'...

I thought you said we should
think of it as...

our money.

Just a guess, but I'm thinking
the words "joint checking"...

are flashing in your head
right now.

How much did you take?

All of it.

Son of a bitch!

You want a wife,
you got a wife.

And what are you doing
with all that cash?

Why don't you invest it?
Don't you know anything?!

I know if you don't get out
of this house right now...

Sign the papers, and
I'll give it all back.

- Fine!

Give me the pen.

Hold on. What are you doing
with all that cash saved up?

And since when did you
quit the tire factory?

You're not doing anything
illegal, are you, Jake?!

Maybe I am. So what?

I don't ask you about
your boyfriend,...

you keep your nose
out of my life... deal?

Who told you?

Honey, just 'cause I talk slow
doesn't mean I'm stupid.

Look, Jake...

Nobody finds their soul mate
when they're    years old.

Yeah, I guess.

I mean, where's
the fun in that, right?

I can't believe you kept
this thing all these years.

Most people don't know that
lightning does that to sand.

Oh, hey, Mel,
you know what?

I just remembered
I got myself a hot date.

You don't mind if I have
my lawyer take a look at these.


Hell, I'm just a
simple country boy.

There's words in there
I can't even pronounce.

You might be takin' me to
the cleaners for all I know.

The cleaners? You?

Say, what did this set
you back, anyhow?

More than you make in a month.

Just sign the damn papers!

thanks for stoppin' by.

Oh! God.

I love you, I love you,
I love you.

Are you sitting down?
- Why? Bad news?

Just picked up the "New York"
magazine, and I quote,

"That cool breath
of fresh air...

"blowing through the tents
at Fashion Week...

"was the soon-to-be household
name of Melanie Carmichael.

Fashion insiders have labeled
her 'the next big one."'

Oh, my God, "the next big one"?

Oh, God, honey, I needed that
almost as much as I need you.

What is that noise?

The sound of my past.

Have fun.

Okay, bye.

Batten down the hatches, boys!

Trouble done just walked
back into my life,...

disguised as my favorite

Honey, drive that pretty face
over here and give me a hug!

Soon-to-be ex-daughter-in-law.

Who's the lucky guy?

His name is Andrew.

He's in politics.

Well, you got my vote.

Good to see you, baby girl.

Hey, you give this lady
whatever she wants.

I'll catch up with you later.
- All right.

I'll have a Gray Goose martini,
two olives, dirty. Thanks.

Oh... my... God!

- Lurlynn?

Yes! Oh, my God!

Look at you, all fancy.

You look like you just
stepped out of a magazine.

Oh, well, thank you.
Um, look at you.

You have a baby...

in a bar.

Hell, I got three
more at home.

This one's still on the tit,
so I can cart him anywhere.


I almost bought that exact same
top the other day.

But Clinton'd kill me if I spent
   bucks on a sweater thing.

That Jaclyn Smith
knows what she's doin'.

Actually, it's mine.

Bergdorf's just picked it up.

I design clothes now.

Oh, mmm, now that
you mention it,...

I'm... I'm pretty sure
I heard that.

So, do you know Jaclyn Smith?

Mind if I join you?

Actually, we do.

You must be Jake's hot date.

I'm Starr.

Hi, I'm Melanie, Jake's
snotty Yankee-bitch wife,...

whom he refuses to divorce, even
though I'm engaged to another man.

Hot dog, Jake, look at
the size of that thing.


Why don't you get us
a couple drinks, all right?

Is that a martini?

Not "me and her" us.
"You and I" us.

Why do you make me
be mean to you?

Is that what you want...

to be humiliated in front
of all of your friends?

Oh, come on, Mel,
we were your friends, too.

Well, looky, looky there!

If it isn't the two
groomsmen of the apocalypse.

Hey, Eldon!
- Yep?

Are you hungry?!


No, no, no!
No, don't you dare!

I could use a Melanie sandwich!

Just seems like old times,
doesn't it?

Get off me!

No, not like old times, all right?

Times have changed.

No more Melanie sandwich,
no more Melanie taco,...

and no more Melanie
corn dog, all right?

Sure... sorry.
- Just playin' with you.

Come on, guys,
just grab a stick.

Let's play some pool, all right?

And if you can't find a cue, just
pull the one shoved up her ass.

Eldon, you're still wearing
that same old stupid hat.

Well, I... just about
got it broken in.

Now, you sit your
bony ass down there...

and watch and see me teach Jake
here, how to lose at pool.

Well, see, that's the thing.

I'm not really a watch-and-see
kind of girl...

am I, Jake?

Come on, now,
Bobby Ray, you got it.

Don't blow this one, okay?

All right, baby?

You can take the girl
out of the honky-tonk,...

but you can't take the
honky-tonk out of the girl.

So, Jake... are you going to
divorce this girl or what?

Well, she waited   years.

A couple more days
won't kill her...


Like it's gonna
make a difference.

You never know.

You might be interested to learn
Jake has this whole...

Hey, hey, let her think
whatever she wants, Clinton.

She made up her mind
about me a long time ago.

Some things never change.

Like Eldon here!

He never could get
his balls in the right pocket.

Okay, Jake,
it's you and Mel.

Clutch time, man.

It's just like state playoffs.

We're down by  
  seconds to go.

We need that big, beautiful
  -yard bomb!

Do you remember that, Mel?
- How could I forget?

That was the night
Jake got me pregnant.

Why don't you just go
public with that shit?

Oh, come on.

It's not like anybody can
keep a secret around here...

except for Bobby Ray.

Now, what did I
ever do to you?

You never did anything
to me, darlin'...

or any other girl in town.

Melanie, what is
the matter with you?

What do you mean?
- Oh, she's just unhappy.

Well, of course,
I would be, too,...

if "Women's Wear Daily"
called me "less than mediocre."

Why don't you just
go to a gay bar?!

Now, what would
"B" Ray do at a gay bar?

I think I had about
enough fun for one night.

Oh, come on,
I was just kidding.

Hey, Stella!

How 'bout another round of
drinks for my friends here?

Honey, I think you've
had about enough.

You know what?

I think you're right.

I have had enough.

I mean, how do you people live
like this, anyway?

All right, that's it,
that's it. Come on.

Did you know that there's
a great, big world out there?

It has absolutely nothin' to do with
chitlins or children or beer!

I liked her better
when she was crazy.

What makes you think
you can treat them...

like somethin' you stepped in
in them fancy shoes, huh?!

You asked for it!
- I asked for it?!

You show up here,
you steal my money,...

you rearrange my house, and
then you insult my friends,...

actin' like you're
better than 'em!

I am better than them!

And you stole my pen!

That's all that matters
to you, isn't it?

- The money...

the labels, the shoes...

you're pathetic!

Oh, like you're
goin' places!

Well, I am as soon as I
get my keys out of here.

Oh, no, you don't.
No, you don't, Mel.

Give me my purse!
- You want to kill yourself?

You want to kill yourself,
you do it somewhere else.

At least I'm doin'
somethin' with my life.

So what if you can't
play football anymore?!

Get a new dream!
- Get in the car.

Get in the truck, Mel.
- I did.

All right!

So, I... guess
the date's over, huh?

Do me a favor.

Follow us home.


Evening, Jake.



My battle's in the day and
runs on into tomorrow morning.

Be still.
I can't fasten this.

If we win, I might stick around
for old Billy's rabbit stew.

If we lose, I'll be home.

Tomorrow, then, sweetie.

Now, listen, Pearl,
you go easy on her.


Oh, we were wondering when
we were gonna see you.

Christ Almighty, Daddy.

How am I gonna explain you
in New York City?

History's history.

No use sweepin' it
under the rug.

Wish me luck.

Go get them Yankees.

People need a passport
to come down here.

Hey, Bryant, where is he?

Come here. Come on, come on.
There you go, there you go.

Look good? Come on!

Bryant, Bryant,
come on! Come on!

What's she doin' here, huh?

I thought you'd be gone.

Bryant, there you go, boy.

I put the money back
in your account.

There you go!


Saves me from bouncin'
a lot of checks.

Can he swim?

Doesn't look like it.

I like what you did, though...
to the house.

Should help it sell quicker.

Are you movin'?

Well... I been spendin' a lot of
my time up around Tuscaloosa, so...

How deep is that water?
- About   feet.

Look, Mel...
I signed your papers.

Jake, I never meant to hurt you,
or anybody else, for that matter.

And I just came out
here to say... thank you.

You might want to find yourself
a place out of the way.

You can't just leave!

Sure I can.

You want to come?

Where you goin'?

I want to show you somethin'.

I can't.

Can't or won't?


The girl I knew
used to be fearless.

The girl you knew
didn't have a life.

Well, I... guess you better
get on with it, then.

Come on, Bryant!

Come on, boy, get in here.

Excuse me, do you know
Bobby Ray Bailey's address?


You don't remember me, do you?
- Oh, I remember you just fine.

You used to steal
catfish from my pond.

Yes, sir. I did that.
I'm sorry.

'Course, on the weekends,...

Bobby Ray goes over to
the Carmichael plantation...

visits with Colonel Murphy...

it being tourist season and all.

Thank you.

Oh, hi!
I'm Melanie Carmi...

Melanie Smooter.

I'm... I'm here
to see Bobby Ray.

If he's alive,
he's out back.

Come on.

They're out here somewhere.
Watch your step.

Bobby Ray?


Don't move!

Hot damn!

Hold your fire, sir.
I'll be right back.

We weren't aimin' for ya,...

but I doubt I would have
gone to your funeral.

I guess I wouldn't blame you.

Forgotten how beautiful
this place was.

Guess it doesn't take much
to forget a lot of things.

Bobby Ray,
it's not like that.

You know what? I'll tell
you what it's not like.

It's not like Jake's the only
one that you run out on.

I'm so sorry I outed you.

I guess I figured
if I was pointing at you,...

then... nobody would
see through me.

Bobby Ray,
I can't find the fuse!

I should go
before he kills himself.



Can I help you?

Barry Lowenstein,
"New York Post."

Ho-ho, boy,
am I glad to see you.

I'll tell you, it's, uh...

definitely, uh,
another world down here.

Did you say the "Post"?

Yes, I did. I was hoping to get an
interview with you and your family...

maybe, um, a few pictures
if you don't mind?

I mean, uh, yes, I do...


They're not here.

This is just
as you described it.

It must have been amazing,
huh, growing up here?

Like a fantasy.

Would you mind if I take
a quick look inside?

Actually, I'm on my way out.

I'll come back, then.

Uh, uh, okay,
but just a peek.

This is it...
home sweet home.

How old is this place?

It was built by my, uh,

Charles Carmichael, in     .

Oh, boy, I bet you slid down
this banister a time or two.

And over here we have
the, um...

kitchen, but who hasn't
seen one of those?

Let's start over here.

Now, this is my favorite room.

It was part of the, um,
Underground Railroad.

Why are we whispering?

The whole place is haunted...

by ghosts of, um,
the Civil War soldiers.


No wonder we lost the war.

Was that one of 'em?


What are you doin'
in a closet?

Hi. Barry Lowenstein,
"New York Post."

Miss Carmichael is just showing
me around the plantation.

Uh, Mr. Lowenstein is writing
a piece on the family,

you know, since I'm marrying
the mayor's son and all.

I had no idea.
Isn't that something?

Well, a plantation by any
other name is just a farm.

But it does roll off the tongue
a little sweeter, doesn't it?

Well, I do believe Miss Melanie
forgot her manners.

I'm Bobby Ray... her cousin.


See, when the Yankees
marched through Alabama,...

they tried to destroy
our metal-formin' capabilities...

by placin' barrels of powder
underneath the anvils.

Of course,
all that managed to do...

was blow 'em sky-high
for a few seconds.

So... in honor
of that act of stupidity,

we all... we get together to
re-create it for the tourists.

What the hell was that?!

Hey, Grandpa!
This here's Barry!

He's doin' an article
on Melanie's weddin'!

Never heard of her.


Well, aren't you
just a big, fat liar.

Bobby Ray!

Oh, go back to New York.


I'm sorry about what I said.

Really sorry.

Melanie, forget it.

She was not sharing.

Okay, y'all, you need
to eat and be quiet.

We're gonna have us
a little visit.

You know, he went up there.


Jake? When?

About a year after you left.

He doesn't know I know,
but Clinton let it slip once.

Jake was in New York?

He told Clinton he'd never
seen anything like it.

He realized straight off...

he'd need more than
an apology to win you back.

He needed to conquer
the world first.

He's been tryin' ever since.

That's why he kept
sending the papers back.

It's funny
how things don't work out.

It's funny how they do.

Hey, look who I found
hangin' out by the parkin' lot.

Hesitant to join us.

Anybody think of anything in here
that, uh, might bother Bobby Ray?

Uh, Clinton's breath?

You still the same Bobby Ray
from last night?

Last time I checked,

Well, then, I'm gonna
buy you a drink.

Well, you're really not
my type, I mean...

Oh, honey, you...
you drink that from the top.

I'm just lookin' to see who
makes this Deep South Glass.

I wonder if you can get it
in New York.

It's beautiful.

Hey, Jake,
Mel would like to know...

where she can find some of
that snooty-faluty glass.

Why ask me?

Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because you're...

You're all spiffed up
and... and all.

Am I missin' somethin'?

Let's show some respect.

When was the last time you
pushed me around the floor?

Clinton here has got
two left feet.

Well, Ms. Taylor,
I'd be honored.

Let's do it. Come on.

Come on, Mel,
get on out here!

Well, aren't you
the Lord of the Dance?

I ain't as clumsy as I look.
She just can't keep time.

You might have to
prove that to me.

You know, he's pretty good.
It might be you.

Oh, the hell you say.
Let me at him.

Look at them two welded together.

Why do they fight it?

Maybe we could just talk.

Come on, let's go
to the Roadhouse.

What do you say we drive
out to Fairview and bowl?

I don't think so.

Do you want to go
harass somebody?

Hey, I know this great
place where we can...


Y'all, I think I'm gonna
call it a night.

Hi, there, boy.

Sorry it took me so long.

I would have come sooner
if I'd known you were sick.

Actually, that's
probably not true.

I've been pretty selfish lately.

Dogs don't know anything
about that, do they, though?

You were always
like a big old pillow.

Like when everything
went pear-shaped...

you never left my side.

And then I just left you.

I bet you sat there
wondering what you'd done wrong.

I told him it was my fault.

Quit bein' so nice.

It's the truth.

How come it has to be
so complicated?





He was one hell
of a good dog, wasn't he?

You looked like you were
having fun out there tonight.

I'm happy in New York, Jake.

But then I come down here
and... this fits, too.

Since when does it have to be
one or the other?

You can have roots
and wings, Mel.

Maybe I could just fly south
for the winter.



Do you see 'em?

Only you.

You know, I still go
out there sometimes.

I see those big thunderheads
rollin' in.

It's like a religion.

I had a dream about it
the other night.

You ever wonder
what would have happened...

if we hadn't have gotten



let me get this out
before I can't.

I thought that baby
would be an adventure.

And it took me a while
to realize...

it would have been
your only adventure.

I just guess Mother Nature
knew better, huh?

I was so ashamed...

'cause I felt...


And all of a sudden, I just...
needed a different life.

You done real well
for yourself.

I'm proud of you, Mel.

I'm just sorry I never danced
with you at our weddin'.

I'm sure this next one's
gonna go better for ya.

Jake, I can't do this.

I know.

Go home.

Well, I'm just sayin',
is all.

I mean, I... I saw

the way you two
were lookin' at each other.

Will you just shut up
about it, Mama?!

I can't help
the way Jake feels about me!

He hasn't done anything wrong!

He hasn't done anything right either!

I can't believe I'm even
having this argument!

I'm leaving! I'm gone!

I'm marrying another man!

Yes, that's right, you get a second
chance, so please don't mess it up!

For who?
For me or for you?

Don't sass me, okay?

Don't you dare sass me,
'cause I have put up

with an awful lot from you
over the years.

Like what?! Like me quitting
your precious pageants?

I didn't want you to
end up like me! Damn it!

Now, you need to stay as far
away from here as you can.

That boy is quicksand.

What's so wrong
with being you, Mama?

I just think that you
deserve better, that's all.

I know you do.

You always have.

I'll see you in New York,
all right?

You'll like it.

I promise.

Now, don't you forget to
say goodbye to your daddy.




Who ya lookin' for, darlin'?

Earl Smooter.

 th Regiment?

Anybody seen Earl Smooter?

He's about to surrender!

Thank you!

After you.


How are ya?
- Good, thanks. Yourself?

No complaints.

That's a beautiful house.

Sure. Yeah.

You, uh, you here
to see Bobby Ray?

Actually, I'm, uh,
hoping to surprise Melanie.

- My fiancee.

You got the wrong house,
don't ya?

This is, uh,
the Carmichael place, isn't it?

Are we talkin' about the same girl?

Melanie Smooter?
- Melanie Carmichael.

Oh, well, that explains it.

That sure does.

Andrew Hennings.

Nice meeting you, Jake.

Hey, Jake.

What's goin' on?

Oh, you know, I'm just, uh,
talkin' to Mel's fiance here.

Wonder if you might know
where she is.

Andrew Hennings.
You must be...

I'm Bobby Ray...
her, uh, cousin?

I see you've already met
Jake... her, uh...

Other cousin.

Family! God, it's great
to meet you both.

I think Melanie said
somethin' last night...

about, uh, visitin' her daddy
up at the... up at the battlefield.

The battlefield?
- You know us Southerners.

I mean, the minute the Confederacy
died, it became a moral issue.

Come on, I'll, uh, I'll
give you a ride up there.

That's great. Thank you.
All right. Nice meeting you.

So, who's...
Melanie... Smooter?

Local hero around here.

Why is that?

She blew up the bank.

And that made her a hero?

Well, notorious, anyway.
She was   .

Fortunately, nobody was hurt...
except, maybe, the cat.

What cat?

The one with the dynamite
on its back.

She blew up a cat?

He was scheduled to die.
- From dynamite?

The vet said it had cancer,...

so Eldon thought it'd be put
in one of those chambers,...

you know, the ones
that suck their lungs out.

Little Mel, she couldn't bear
the thought of that.

She, uh, she wanted
somethin' more humane.

Yeah, sure.

So, they were doing some
blastin' out by the new highway.

So, we, uh, we took old Fuzz
up there, taped him up.

Used about    feet of fuse
just to be on the safe side,...

said our prayers,
and ran like hell.

Of course.

So, there we were, sittin' in
Virgie's Diner, feelin' pretty blue.

When Mel looks up and sees
that damn cat,...

trottin' down the road,
searchin' for Eldon.

No shit.

Yeah, and we
would have caught him, too,...

but once that fuse hit his tail,
boom, he took off like a shot.

And into the bank.

Well... the theory is,...

he probably wriggled loose
from the explosive.

'Cause, uh, people still see him from
time to time, scorched tail and all.

He's a little skittish
around humans.

That's quite a story.

She was quite a girl.

Whatever happened to her?

Oh, you know...
wound up pregnant,...

married some loser
right out of high school.

Are you surprised?

What are you doing here?

Well, I came to deliver
your fiance.

I think she was talking to me.


Must be exhaustin'.

- What?

Livin' a lie.

What's he talking about?

You and I are in love
with two different people.

Is he a second cousin?

He's my husband.

Your what?

I mean my ex-husband.

You married your cousin?!

No, I came down here
to finalize my divorce.

Hey, darlin',
thought that was you.

Must be your new someone.

Earl Smooter...
glad to meet ya.

Melanie Smooter.

Andrew, wait.


Andrew! Wait!

I just...


Let me try and explain myself!

You don't understand!

This is not who I am anymore!

Look, I don't know who you are
or what else you lied about,...

but I know one thing...

there is a Lear Jet
in Mobile, and I am on it.

I know you're thinkin'

I spoiled things good
this time.

Oh, hon, don't go accusin' me
of thinkin'.

I ain't done
anything of the sort.

Anyway, spoiled's in the eye
of the beholder...

like these plums here.

Some people might
call them "spoiled"...

but I think that, um,
these almost-ruined ones...

sometimes make the sweetest jam.

Do you need any help?

It was kind of fun, seeing
Daddy up there, surrendering.

He sure does have
a flair for the dramatic.

You certainly don't get it
from my side of the family.

Hey, y'all.

Look who I found
walkin' down I-  .

I thought you'd be
halfway to New York by now.

So did I.

If I'd known company was comin',
I'd have put on the dog.

This is my mama.

She makes the best jam
in three counties.

And my dad...
you... you already met him.

And this is our home.

This is where I grew up.

Well, it's a pleasure
meeting you both.

I'm... Andrew Hennings...

Melanie's fiance...

well... that is... if...
if she'll still have me.

I really don't care
what happened down here.

So... you have a past.

I mean, who doesn't?

What I need to know is if there is
a place for me in your future.

Oh, good Lord.
That is the sweetest thing.

Well, go on.

Oh! Hello, New York City!

Woman, what the hell
you gassin' about?

Well, sir...

my mother happens to be
the mayor up there, and, uh,...

she'd like nothing better than
a big, snazzy New York wedding.

Yeah, I suppose
I can take off work.

Andrew, I, um... actually,
I was thinking,...

maybe we could have the wedding here.


In my hometown.

Look, Mel, if you're worried
about the money, don't.

It's not about
the money, Andrew...

not down here.

You know...
a lot of people

are expecting us
to get married in the city,...

but I think a nice, quiet, country
wedding is just the ticket.

Pearl, if you... if you folks could
take care of the rehearsal dinner,...

I'd really like
to take care of the rest.

Well, I think
we could cover that.

How many times does
your only daughter get married?

Other than before.

Felony Melanie?

She was never convicted.

I don't know which is worse...

child cat killer
or sons of the Confederacy.

What would you suggest I do...
dump her for being poor?

You're supposed to be
a Democrat, remember?

There is nothing wrong
with being poor.

I get elected by poor people and...

I'm a big enough person to commend her
for making something of herself.

What upsets me
is that she lied to you.

So what? She was ashamed
of her background.

Who hasn't been embarrassed by
their parents at one point?

I'm going to assume that
was a rhetorical question.

Assume away.

No one is going to
change my mind about this...

not you, not the media,
not anyone.


but admit it...
I was right.

Yes... you were right.

There is a wedding in your future,
whether you like it or not.

And how, exactly, does Little Miss Alabama
plan to accommodate     people?

I suppose she has connections
at the jail.

Well, there are
several excellent choices...

the Travelodge,
Days Inn, a Motel  ...

oh, and the Golden Cherry Motel,
where we will be.

Laugh now,
but if this gets out...

It won't.

The press expects
the Plaza in June.

Now, let's talk
about your wedding.

This place is gorgeous and
we can control the security.

The Carmichael plantation?

It did inspire your identity,
did it not?

You thought of everything.
- Yeah, well, I always do.

Been great.
Keep in touch.

You guys remember the sheik.
- Yeah.

Well, he proposed to me,...

and I think I loved him,
despite his billions.

Then why didn't you say "yes"?

Because I hesitated
long enough to realize...

my head and my heart were saying
two different things.

It's this way.
- Yeah.

Well, it's a big decision.

Well, it's supposed to be
the easiest one you ever make.

Wasn't it?

Hey, Tabby, this is it...

this is the stuff
I was telling you about.

"Deep South Glass."

Oh, yes. Let's.

What's the matter?

Oh, my God.

Do we know...



Look at these.

It's what happens to sand
when it's struck by lightning.

She's pulling your dick.

No, really.
I've seen it.

You just have to dig it up.

Oh, hey, Bryant.

Friend of yours?

I saw him first.

I, uh...
think he's already taken.

I tried to call you
a couple of times.

Listen, since you're here,...

you and your friends should look
around and have some lunch.

Y'all should sit
on the deck. It's nice.

Come on, Bryant, let's, uh...
let's leave this lady alone.

Come on.

Come on, boy.

Yes, sir.
Can we help you?

I'm... I'm looking
for a Melanie Carmichael.

Anybody here recognize that name?


What business you got with her?

I'm afraid that's a private matter.

Well, then, I'm afraid
we can't help you.

Damn reporters.

Like the first ant at a picnic.

Now... this one here's
from Louisiana.

See? It's got
a little alligator on top.

How sweet. I can see where
your daughter gets her taste.

This is one of those disasters
waiting to happen.

You know, one of the big ones
that only cockroaches survive.

It's going to be fine.

One down...
  million to go.


You just smashed
the state bird of Alabama.

Well, finally.
- Hi! How are you?!

Hey, buddy.
- Hello, sir.

Well, I can see
why Melanie is so adorable.

I'm so happy to be here.

We're so happy
to have you here.

I'm sorry the place is
such a mess, Mrs. Hennings...

Mayor... ma'am!

No, no, no, no, no...
don't you dare. It's "Kate."

You know, I've been
tryin' to get Earl...

to weed these shrubberies
and repaint the trim.

And... oh, my God,
look how pretty she is, Earl.

Yeah, I'll bet Kate
could use a drink.

Kate could, indeed.

Well, just come right on in.

I've got some fried pickles,
hot right out of the grease.

Had a lot of trouble
getting my house painted, too.

It's a lovely chair, Earl.

Yeah, but to get the full effect,
you got to pull this here handle.

Daddy, no!

Now, you hold onto
your drink, Kate, and watch.

We're so sorry, Kate!
- We'll get you up.


Uh, Buford...
Wallace Buford.

I'm not on that list,

but I've got some urgent
business with the bride.

Not today, you don't.

All right, sir, let's get it
turned around here.

Hey, there's a weddin' goin' on.

Yeah, I heard mention of it
a time or two.

I sure hope this weather cooperates.

It's supposed to be a big one.

You know, Jake...

You're my only son...
and I love you, but sometimes...

you are too much
like your daddy.

She made her decision, Mama.

For somebody who's been holdin'
onto somethin' so hard,...

you're pretty quick
to let it go.

You know, I can't control her any
more than I can control the weather.

It's just nerves.

You're doin' the right thing.

Am I?

When I married your daddy...

oh, Lord, but I was
a fool for that man.

I couldn't put one foot
in front of the other.

I remember standin' there,

"Oh, preacher, hurry up
before he changes his mind."

Look where it got me.

Sometimes that man makes me so mad,
I could just wring his neck.

But you still love him.

God knows I do.

And only he knows why.

Mama... I think I...

He can give you a life
that we never dreamed of.

And he adores you.

He does, doesn't he?

Well, even if he is a Yankee,
at least he's sober.

Ms. Carmichael!

- Ms. Carmichael!

Get him!
- Ms. Carmichael!

Get back here!

Mr. Buford?

Get your hands off me!

Wait! Let him go.


You are one hard woman
to get in touch with.

Mr. Buford, he signed the papers.

What are you doing here?

He did... you didn't.


You mean I'm still married?

Well, not unless you want to be.

Oh, for God's sakes, Melanie.

I thought you took care of this.

It's an honest mistake, Andrew.

Well, then, can we fix it
before we all get soaked?

Does anybody have a pen?

- Oh, yeah, sure.

Go on, check your purse.

These things don't
just happen, you know.

Can't ride two horses
with one ass, sugar bean.


You don't want to marry me.

I don't?
- No.

No, you don't...
not really.

You see, the truth is...

I gave my heart away
a long time ago...

My whole heart...

and I never really
got it back.

And I don't even know what
else to say, but I'm sorry.

I can't marry you.

And you shouldn't want
to marry me.

So this
is what this feels like.

That's it?!

You're just gonna
let her humiliate you...

with some bullshit
about an old husband?!

Yeah, I think I am.

Excuse me.

In my entire life...

I have never met anyone
so manipulative, so deceitful!

And I'm in politics!

I'm just trying to be honest.

I will not allow the future
President of the United States...

to be dumped at the altar
by some psycho Daisy Mae!

You go after him,
you little bitch!

Wait just a minute, missy.

Uh, there... there's no need
for name-callin', now.

Now, she spoke her piece,
and that's all there is to it.

Oh, go back to your double-wide
and fry something.

Nobody talks
to my mama like that!

Praise the Lord!
The South has risen again!

If you're friends of the bride,
stick around!

I'm gonna go find me
a groom!

Hey, cowboy...

You owe me a dance.

Nice dress.
Where's your husband?

I'm lookin' at him.

you and I are still hitched.

Is that right?

Why didn't you tell me
you came to New York?

I needed to make
somethin' of myself.

About done?

What is it
about you Southern girls?

You can't make the right decisions
'til you tried all the wrong ones?

At least I fight
for what I want.

Oh, what do you want, Melanie?

I don't even think you know.

You're the first boy
I ever kissed, Jake,...

and I want you
to be the last.

Maybe you and I had our chance.


Have it your way,
you stubborn ass!

Whatcha want to be
married to me for, anyhow?

So I can kiss you
any time I want.

What the hell are you two
tryin' to do...

get yourselves killed?!

What seems to be
the trouble, officer?

I'm here to bring you in,
young lady!

What did she do this time?

Well, the way I hear it,...

seems she run out
on a perfectly good cake.

You're gettin' a
little light-headed.

Well, folks, look who finally
made it to their reception...

Ladies and gentlemen,
Mrs. And Mr. Jake Perry!

You might want to keep those
for the honeymoon.

Well... I do believe I owe
this lady a dance.

You sure do!

Shut up, Bryant.
- Shut up, Bryant.

Look at this.

Hey, Stella...

Make it a slow one.

All right, wait.

How are you?

All right,
just stand right here.


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