Voila! Finally, the Tank Girl
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Lori Petty and Naomi
Watts movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Tank Girl. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
She sings fromsomewhere you can't see She sits in the top of the greenest tree She sends out an aromaof undefined lust It drips on down in a mist from above She's just the girl She's just the girl, the girl you want She's just the girl She's just the girl, the girl you want You hear her callin'everywhere you turn You know you're headedfor the pleasure burns But the words get stuckon the tip of your tongue She's the real thingbut you knew it all along She's just the girl She's just the girl, the girl you want She's just the girl She's just the girl, the girl you want Look at you with your mouth waterin' Look at you with your mind spinnin' Why don't we just admit it's all over? She's just the girl you want She's just the girl She's just the girl, the girl you want She's just the girl She's just the girl, the girl you want She's just the girl She's just the girl, the girl you want She's just the girl She's just the girlListen up, cos I'm onlytellin' you this once.
I'm not a bedtime-story lady,so pay attention.
It's . The world is screwed now.
A while ago, this humongous cometcame crashin' into the earth.
Bam! Total devastation.
End of the world as we know it.
No celebrities, no cable TV.
No water! It hasn't rained in years.
Now people gotta squeeze insidethe same bathtub. So it ain't all bad.
That's me, the one in the mask.
No, the other one in the mask!Today's my boyfriend's birthday, soI'm out shopping for that perfect gift.
Whatever I can scrounge up.
Uh-oh! Ripper raptors.
The Rippers are a demonic armyof bloodthirsty, human-eating,purse-snatchin', mutant creatures.
Witness Exhibit A.
Euch! You are so dead. They're ledby the infamous Johnny Prophet.
They spend most of their time raidin'the WP. That's short for Water and Power.
They control most of the water,and got all the power.
Oh, wait. One last thing.
My friends and me, we do notsuck up to Water and Power.
Yeah, we steal water, but as long asthey don't find out, who gives a shit?Ah, there it is. Home, sweet home.
That's a beauty.
I'm gonna go water the vegetables.
Town, you fixed the pump, right?
I'm goin' down.
Yeah, go for it!
You've been stealing water.
- What gave you that idea?
- Take off your clothes.
- Shit. Right, right, right, right, right.
Did I tell you to stop?
I'm not too good under pressure.
Well, you'll learn, then, won't you?
- Gross out!
- Come on. They're bein' weird again.
- Let's get outta here.
- Let go.
- I was just gettin' into that one.
- Gimme that.
I thought you was workin'
on my Doris Day bust?
I didn't trade you my autographed Doris
picture just for... whatever this is.
I know, but the wood talks to me.
It said Ripper.
How would you know what one looks
like? No one's ever seen a Ripper.
No one's ever seen
your peanut dick either.
- I'm tellin'.
- Go ahead.
Rebecca! Don't forget guard duty.
Adam was dust until God
injected him with life.
And do you know
what was in that injection?
Water is life. Water is power.
Well done. You've all
done a masterful job.
per cent of the desert
and all the water it contains
now belongs to Water and Power.
I think that deserves a little toast.
To Captain Derouche,
for securing most of the desert.
- Captain Derouche.
- Captain Derouche.
I can promise you, sir, the Rippers
will only be a minor setback.
Once I take care of them,
that final crack of land will be ours.
This crack of land, Captain?
Well, it's just a small crack.
It doesn't matter. We'll let that go.
Oh, my. Now look what's happened.
We lost the Feta Plains.
And the Tenelson Ridge!
And so on!
There are three million litres of water
underneath the Blue Dunes.
And you will retrieve it.
Do I make myself clear, gentlemen?
Remove your boots, Captain.
Now come here.
It was foolish not to carry out my order.
It was foolish to walk across
a floor full of glass.
If I were you, I wouldn't have done it.
I would have killed me first.
But you lack that courage,
don't you, Captain?
it's your show now.
- try not to let me down.
- Yes, sir.
I take guard duty very seriously.
Before I was even born It's such a gamble when you get a face It's fascinatingto observe what the mirror does But when I dine,it's for the wall that I set a place I belong to the blank generation And I can take it or leave it each time
Elvis! Elvis! Come out and play.
Hey, baby. What do you say?
Me and you, Vegas?
Triangles were fallin'at the window as the doctor cursed He was a cartoonlong forsaken by the public eye
- You buttsmear.
- What'd I tell you?
Don't say "buttsmear".
It's not becoming. Say...
"asshole" or "dickwad".
- Trade you.
I'll sneak you some food
for that dangerball you found.
I don't know. You know how to work it?
If you don't... you're steak tartare.
First... go get me my food.
I knew you couldn't resist me.
Don't come any closer.
You gotta stay there... and watch.
Blow me away, see if I...
Death of a future, goodbye to my friends Wish I could see you all again Family hollow, family real Wish you were here, see how I feel
OK. You can come a little bit closer.
But you can't touch.
- Lose the scissors.
Water and Power! Hands in the air!
- Over here! Over here!
- Get the typewriters!
They've been siphoning water.
Well, keep goin'.
We're just gettin' to the good stuff.
Rebecca! Help! Rebecca!
We got her!
You've been stealing water. Not smart.
We could have a lot of fun with this one.
Don't you know
you shouldn't own animals?
There's a water shortage.
There's your water.
Look at me when I'm talkin' to ya.
That cut looks painful.
I like pain.
And what else do you like?
Hey... which of you gorgeous guys
would like an oil change, hm?
Don't be stupid. She's gonna bite it off.
The moment I feel teeth, you feel lead.
Well? What are you waitin' for?
I'm gonna need a microscope
and tweezers. It's like...
You know, you're gonna have to stop this.
You're really gettin' me hot.
She's all yours, sir.
Just how many of my men did you kill?
Eight, eight, the burning hate.
Between Sunday and Monday
hangs a day so dark it will devastate.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Look, you wanna torture me,
spank me, lick me - do it.
But if this poetry shit continues,
just shoot me now, please.
What, and waste all that talent?
I'm offering you the chance of a lifetime.
The honour of working for me.
Put her to work.
Dig or die!
You people are pathetic!
These water pipes should
have been dug yesterday!
Just stand still.
Hey, this punk's got a knife!
Thought you could use it, huh?
Hey, what time is it?
I don't wanna miss Baywatch.
Hey, Jet. How's the jet, Jet?
I asked you a question!
There are stress cracks
in the turbine blades,
and the manifold pressure
sensor's leaking like a sieve.
I'm doing a full teardown. I'll have
her back together by Wednesday.
You'll have it back together by morning.
I don't care if you have to work all night.
That is, of course, unless...
you wanna make me change my mind.
I'll have it fixed by morning.
Failure to recyclebody fluids is a violation.
Number four: Hoardingwater rations is a violation.
Number five: Siphoning body fluidsfrom another prisoner is a violation.
Number six: Tampering withno-smoking devices is a violation.
Can't anybody see? We've got a war to fight Never find our way Regardless of what they say How can it feel this wrong?
Wait a minute! Where are you goin'?
What is your problem?
I have gone out of my way
to be nice to you!
If it wasn't for me, you would
just be another whore around here.
Now, all I'm asking for
is just a little bit in return.
Quit pickin' on my girlfriend.
God, that is...
Thanks. It worked.
End of shift. All prisoners return to cells.
End of shift. All prisoners return to cells.
I'm in love!
Systems check. Stand by.
Check, check. Check, check, check.
Please enter security signature.
- My mom and yours, hanging out clothes.
- Security signature invalid.
You have ten seconds before cyanide gasis injected into the chamber.
- Know the security code to this thing?
Good. Then get me outta here.
Go. Do it. Get cranking.
They're hijacking a tank.
Sir, if you want my opinion...
No, I don't.
Places to wreck, people to do.
This... this tank, it... it... isn't...
Just one little adjective. We'll have a
whole sentence here. The tank isn't glad.
It isn't op... operational.
- How do I know you're not lyin'?
- Because if I was lying,
your lungs'd be full of cyanide gas.
Cool. So we get a new tank.
Wait. Wait! Look, nobody gets
out of here without a clearance.
We're all prisoners here.
And if they catch you...
Then - don't tell me - they'll take awaymy TVprivileges? I'll live with it.
My, my. She'll be fun to break.
How's your lover?
I wouldn't get too attached.
She's not gonna be around much longer.
I bet you just can't wait to take
this baby for a test drive, huh?
That's too bad,
cos you just lost your flying privileges.
And... the whole hangar is off limits, too.
- What are you doing?
- I was thinkin' about leavin' this place.
It's been swell,
but the swelling's gone down.
What do you reckon?
We go to New York, see Cats.
You don't understand.
The better you behave,
the more they leave you alone.
And... the more they leave you alone,
the better off you are.
Well, that's a bore!
There's nothin' to be scared of.
You just gotta think about it like...
the first time you got laid.
You just gotta go:
"Daddy, are you sure this is right?"
- You're sick.
- How come you do that?
How come you always cover
your mouth when you smile?
You got bad teeth or somethin'?
- I don't know.
- Come on.
What do you say we bolt?
I'm really startin' to like it here.
People are nice, food's great,
and I love my job.
I can see why you wanna hang around!
It's really hard for me...
to play with myself in this thing.
That's a shame.
Look, you want to play, I'll play.
And I'll win.
No. Not if it's Monopoly,
cos I really kick ass at that game.
But... I get to be the shoe.
I'm going to ask you just one more time.
Do you want to work
for Water and Power?
Yeah! That sounds groovy.
Do I get to wear
a cute little outfit like yours?
You're gonna really love this one.
It goes down metres.
Gets smaller and smaller
the deeper you go.
Can I go first?
I hope you're not claustrophobic.
- Rebecca! Rebecca!
Full metal. They didn't have
a chance to squeeze off a round.
Another outpost lost to those Rippers.
At this rate, we'll lose all our water.
Rippers must have come up
from some underground sub-gate.
Well then, I know just
the young lady to help us find it.
Well, I'm so glad
you see things my way now.
You know what I see?
This... big... honkin' booger,
hangin' outta your left nostril.
If I was you,
I'd use this finger to pick it out.
Yeah. Lucky you.
And just wait till you see
what you've won.
Relax. It's only a locator.
This is your pulse.
Now I'll always be close to your heart.
Your job is to penetrate
this sub-gate we found,
which could be the entrance
to the Rippers' base.
Most of these are booby-trapped,
so if we hear a loud bang... sorry.
If not, congratulations.
You just found the Rippers' hideout.
Either way, I win.
Like a piece of cheese
at the end of a fishing hook.
- That's you.
Condor Control, Condor .
I'm detecting Ripper activity...
Oh, my God!
That's what you get for messin' with me.
Well, whaddaya know?
Am I close to your heart now, Kesslee?
What happened to the rest of ya?
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- I thought the Rippers got you.
- Hell, no.
Come on, let's go.
I ain't goin' back there.
You're gonna have to kill me first.
No... I'm not.
Cos I'm not gonna go back there either.
We'd better go before they come back
for us. You take the tank.
Are you sure?
Bill collector called today Shove! IRS is on my case
No! Rebecca, come on!
Rebecca, turn the engine off!
Kill the engine!
Are you OK?
Sorry about the bonker on the head.
I think I need to go practise some more.
Take that! And that!
You didn't have to
rough me up so bad, Becky.
Look! No hands!
You could do that for a living.
Your face has been gutted,
Mr Kesslee, sir.
To be honest, your chances of seeing
are as likely as your arm growing back.
However, I can make you comfortable.
Do I make myself clear, Doctor?
- Yes, sir.
Now... what is the prognosis?
- Not good, sir.
- Not good.
- Sir, this is Mr Che'tsai.
- What? What?
He specialises in cybergenic
Go ahead, sir.
All the king's horsesand all the king's menwish they had the technology I have.
If you want my services,the fee will be litres.
Doctor, come here.
You see the glass half-empty.
I prefer to see it half-full.
- Don't you agree, Sergeant?
- I don't understand.
We can't be in here. We're trespassing.
What if somebody catches us?
Jet, there she blows, matey!
Put it down. It's not funny.
What is it?
Raise your hands to the sky gods!
The rains are coming.
But it hasn't rained since the comet.
I need metal to complete my ark.
I'll be taking your tank.
No, see, you won't be taking the tank.
The Rippers are waiting.
I must save them from the floods.
Tell me the security code.
All right, listen, Rain Lady.
Where'd you get this?
- I made it.
- She's lying.
- How do you know?
It's something I designed -
a spectrum analyser
voice-pattern stress modulations.
- It detects lies.
- But I only speak the truth.
- All right...
I... I caught it in my fishpond... on a stick.
- All right, all right, all right.
They were selling a girl's stuff after
they had taken her prisoner. I bought it.
- It was sad, really.
- What'd they do with the girl?
First tell me what
Water and Power want with her.
We're not Water and Power.
We're escaped prisoners.
In that case... It was terrible. They put
her to work in town at Liquid Silver.
Come on, Jet. We gotta go get her.
To the Bat Tank!
Wait! Wait! We can't go into town
with those Water and Power vehicles.
You can fix them up here in my garage.
They took the bait, sir, and they're
on their way to Liquid Silver for the girl.
- Make sure I get the girl first, Sergeant.
- Yes, sir.
I'm outta here.
What you got there, little boy?
No, I don't need
none of that today, thank you.
- Nice hats.
- Do you know what kind of place this is?
Yeah. Come on.
Let's split up and find Sam.
Stand up You've got to manage I won't sympathise Any more
How many would you like?
And if you complain once more You'll meet an army of me You're all right
I got a guy here
who wants the schoolgirl thing.
Introduce him to Sam.
She's just a girl.
Not for long.
- Dancers, welcome to Liquid Silver.
- I can get you out.
First we are going to create your look.
Girls, please step upto the glamourport in front of you.
Your dressing room is equipped withthe latest Liquid Silver fashions.
You will start by shavingall inappropriate hair.
If your ears are not pierced,you will find an ear-puncher before you.
The wrong things right Can't stop lovin' you And I won't stop callin' you, my babyThe crop top.
The anklets and the mules.
The spiralling arm cuff.
And now the wrap skirt.
You have now finishedcreating your look.
If you have followed instructionsproperly, you should appear as so.
Lock up your sons.
Now, you stop this
childish behaviour this instant.
Do you want me to tell your mother
how naughty you've been? Do you?
Don't take my silver.
It's all the money I've got.
Silver. I'll have that.
The Clapper. That's what
you get for being a perv.
Hey! You're gonna get fired,
you keep treatin' the guests like that.
There she is! And the little girl. Get them!
Kill her. Kill them both.
Not a good idea.
Now... everybody drop your guns,
or I scrape off all her make-up.
This might take me a really long time.
Sam! Is this the lady who put you
in a room with that scumbag?
- A ten-year-old girl.
She has to learn sometime.
Look, you got two choices.
Either I improve that lovely hairdo,
or you sing for us.
All right. What do you want me to sing?
"Let's Do It." Cole Porter, .
I hate that song.
I'll cut it off.
When the little bluebird
Who has never said a word
Starts to sing
Louder! I can't hear you!
When the little blue clerk
In the middle of his work
Starts a tune to the moon up above
It is nature, that's all
Simply telling us to fall in love
Come on! You too!
And that's why
Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it
Let's fall in love
I'm sure giraffes on the sly do it
Heavy hippopotami do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
They say that
Upper-crust ladies do it
When a gentleman struts
Come on, doll
Why don't we do it?
Or don't you have the guts?
Penguins in flocks on the rocks do it
Even little cuckoos in their clocks do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
- What the hell is that?
- Sounds like Cole Porter to me, sir.
- End it!
- Yes, sir.
Sometimes on the sly you do it
Maybe later you and I might do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Hey, you in the bathrobe!
Let's do it
Jet! Where's Sam?
- You let her go!
Don't worry. Your friends'll
be along shortly to save you,
my little princess.
The Rippers? Are you kidding?
You don't know what they're like.
Are you out of your mind?
You haven't seen these things.
They're not human. They're
demons from hell. I'm telling you.
Look, if we're gonna rescue Sam, we're
gonna need an army. They're an army.
Rebecca, we've been
combing the desert all night.
We'll never find the Rippers' sub-gate.
Look, Rain Lady said the Rippers'
sub-gate was around here somewhere.
Near two rocks.
I can't believe we're doing this.
Where are you?
What's going on? Rebecca!
- Jet, what took you so long?
See hell, go to hell.
Oh, my God. It's the Elephant Man!
Hey, Quasimodo guy! We're hungry
in here. How 'bout some food?
Now you've done it!
what are your names?
- Gimme the gas.
- And, like, what are you doing here?
Is it true what they say
about guys with big shoes?
- He asked you a question. Answer it!
Hey, I have two words for you.
Brush your teeth!
They're spies. They got
Water and Power logos all over.
Yeah, I was thinking that,
but then I was also thinking
that if they are Water and Power...
No, no, no, no!
Why would they come here advertisin' it?
Check it out. Tattoos.
Wonder where else they got 'em.
I don't think those are tattoos.
Who would want some alphabet soup?
I'd rather have a dragon or somethin'
more Aquarian-related, you dig?
- They're prisoner stamps.
- Prison, my ass.
That's exactly what they want us to think.
Or, better yet, that isn't
what they want us to think.
That way we'll think
what they think we might think,
- but actually...
Try not to speak.
- How much did they pay you to spy?
- Two dollars and cents.
You should go easy on the truth serum.
It might send 'em off.
That could be to our advantage.
Good. I'm tired of asking 'em
questions anyway. I say we kill 'em.
- I say we hump 'em.
- I say we get crumpets and tea.
Tasty. Crumpets and tea. All in favour
of crumpets and tea say aye.
- Ain't gonna be no crumpets and tea!
We're gonna take 'em
outside and waste 'em.
I think they're nice. I say we let 'em go.
Let 'em go? They're spies!
I'm gonna kill 'em myself.
Wait! Now, I don't remember
anybody puttin' you in charge, T-Saint.
Yeah. He's right.
We're a committee now. We'll vote on it.
Dig. All in favour of killing 'em,
raise your tail.
And all those in favour of not killing 'em...
- Gentlemen, it's a tie.
- Coin-toss time.
This is pathetic.
No cheating. Ready? One, two, three.
Do you suppose me and Jet
could go to the bathroom?
You know, me and Jet
could make it worth your while.
Put a little smile on that kangaroo face.
You got baseball cards?
No, but I know where
I could get you some.
- Totally negatory.
- No, wait, wait, wait!
Come on. You don't wanna be
like those other manimals in there.
We're not manimals.
What are you?
The army wanted to build
the ultimate soldier,
so they messed with kangaroo NDA and...
You mean DNA.
And they created us.
And then the war ended
and they told Johnny to poison us.
- Johnny Prophet?
- Because he was the one that made us.
But then he didn't do it because
he decided that he liked us too much.
I have this great idea. You, me and Jet
go for a visit with Johnny Prophet.
When he gets back, yeah. Well... maybe.
Where did he go?
To... New Zealand, for a little while,
to help some scientist guy who was
makin' sea water so you could drink it.
Does she need to know that?
Do they need to know that?
Get your ass outta here!
- Go ahead, WP . We have...
- Hey, you guys, hey!
- Water and Power's gettin' a shipment.
- What kind of shipment?
- I don't know. It's comin' from Red Sands.
- What if it's an arms shipment?
- It's a trap.
What if they want us to think
it's a trap but it's really not?
That way, when we get there,
it could still be one.
- Or, better yet, what if...
Why don't you make yourself useful
and go and choke on somethin'?
That's cold, man.
OK. We're gonna give you chicks
a chance to prove yourself.
Call it an initiation.
You fail, you die.
Yeah, but first you gotta strip.
- That's not in the plan.
- Why not?
Hold on, cats. All right.
All you have to do is confirm
the shipment. Copacetic.
You're gonna use this, but you have to be
really careful, because I designed it with...
I especially built it
with a visual-send processor.
It's a little invention - that I invented
myself, I might add, actually.
- And these are so you can hear us.
This one's for you.
And this one... I made especially for you.
Let me help you put it on cos it's kinda
tricky. I'm sorry. How clumsy of me.
- Get off!
- It was hard to clip on.
OK. So, we can hear you,
but how are you gonna hear us?
Just speak facin' west.
We'll hear you all right.
The code will be: "On the Road". Yeah.
He's Jack Kerouac incarnate.
We're all reincarnated. That means you're
not really dead or you think you're dead...
- Who'd you used to be?
- A cop.
I used to be Ted Smith, assistant manager
at Chief Auto Parts in Cincinnati, Ohio.
- Thank you.
I was a dog,
but because I was really good
they moved me up to human-being status.
North. Wait. South... west.
Mr Kerouac, I am sending you an image.
- Here it comes.
- This is the south side of the warehouse.
That's gotta be it. Let's move.
All I see is a coupla workers
unloadin' some crates.
That could be toilet paper. I don't see
no Water and Power vehicles out there.
Tell you the truth, I don't see jack shit.
We need more proof.
Yeah. I'll give you more proof.
- I got your proof.
- There it is.
- Oh, my.
We gotta get in closer if we're gonna
take pictures of those weapons.
What are you doing?
Those guys'll mangle you.
Jet... they're men.
Move it or lose it.
Becca. What's this for?
- Work with me, girl.
- What do you mean, work with you?
What are you doing?
I have died and gone
to hard-body heaven.
Sheneequa, don't dally.
You are giving me realness.
Delfrieda, darling. Be a good little girl and
let's get set up. Over there by the crates.
- Take off your shirt.
- What are you doing here?
- This is a restricted area.
- I know you're not talking to me like this.
- Obviously you didn't get the memo.
- What memo?
Darling, we are doing
a "Men of Water and Power" calendar.
And I think you would be
the perfect supermodel cover.
You mean we get to be calendar guys?
Can I be December?
Baby, you can be any month you want.
LeSean, have we left
ourselves in our purse?
Shoot the men near the crates.
It's more... manly.
Come on. Get up. Get up. Come on.
All right. Here we go.
Oh, my goodness. You are
so beautiful you're making me sick.
Smile for me.
- What's this?
- I don't know.
Let me see... Open your shirt.
All right, now. Smile.
Let me see those teeth.
OK. Yes, yes. Yes, I like that.
Those are definitely weapons
in those crates. We better move.
No way. The whole thing is
so convenient, man. If they wanna be
down with us,tell 'em to hijack the shipment.
- If they pull it off, we'll think about it.
- I'll have the goods in an hour.
The glamour has left the building.
There is no magic, there is no sparkle,
there is no je ne sais quoi.
- Come, Jetina.
- Hold your chest. Come on.
Yes, that's brilliant. That's great.
- Jetina, come.
- Oh, God. That's great!
- You're so brilliant! You're a supermodel!
- The super has left the model, girl.
- Come on!
- When's the calendar comin' out?
What the hell...?
Suck on this, dirtbag!
And keep your ass outta the fast lane!
Jet, what are you wearing tonight?
Jetness. Remember me?Hijacking shipment. Me, you.
Shit! I've got a malfunction.
Fix it fast and get
your narrow butt over here.
I wouldn't want you to miss all this fun.
Do you mind?
I'm tryin' to have a little lunch.
Now you're workin' my tits.
You guys can't shoot worth a shit!
Where is she?
I'm too young for this shit.
Well, I guess we got rid of her, huh?
- Feeling a little inadequate?
- Get outta here!
Hey, girl. Glad you could join me.
I'm in the semi, and I got the goods.
Rebecca! Can you hear me?
There's a big cliff coming up on you.
Now hit the brakes.
- Hit the brakes!
- Brakes aren't working, girl! Plan B!
- Get outta there! Quick! Jump!
I came as fast as I could. I know
you probably didn't need help,
but I got here as fast as I could.
I had it all under control, Booga.
- That squash is really good.
- A toast... to our newest members.
May their energies enhance
the spirit of our circle.
Great. Now let's check out the weapons.
After the ceremony
the weapons'll be disposed of.
Why? After all that!
We don't use guns.
You don't use guns.
Prophet taught us to fight
without the corruption of guns.
Let us all hold hands.
I'd like to recite a poem that I've written.
Laugh, you butterfly
That dances in the mud
Laugh, you piece of dental floss
You burn, me toast.
Laugh, you pig that flies in the sky
With rainbow twinky fluid
And three litres of high-octane petrol.
Now... let's pray.
Come on, Jet.
- What are you doing?
- We're praying to the spirit of freedom.
- Prophet taught us religion.
- Come on.
- I can't.
It's OK. I have condoms.
Hit it, Jet!
Booga, where did you learn to dance?
Now where'd it go? Aurora
It's one of Johnny Prophet's dreams.
See how the people are all free,
and the water just
comes down from the sky
and it don't cost nothin'.
With flowers and rainbows.
This is just like Christmas.
I love opening things, especially
when you don't know what's inside.
I remember the first Christmas
I got to open something.
It was a book. I didn't know what the title
was cos the cover was ripped off,
but it had these really cool pictures of...
- OK, OK. I'm done.
Let's get this one. Two... three!
- It's dirt.
- This is bullshit.
- We've been had.
- Good job.
Come on. Help me open
this one over here.
One... two... three.
Motherfuckin' Kesslee killed Prophet!
OK, guys. Here's the plan.
Water and Power has mines
all the way from here to here.
There's no way through 'em.
- How about we go over 'em?
- That's great.
How you plannin' on
sneakin' over the top? Fly?
Yep. We've got the stolen flier.
All we have to do is paint it
back the way it was and... pow!
- And when they ask for a security code?
- Yeah. Then what?
Well, maybe we could wait till
another flier does a routine scout,
we capture his ID code and we're in.
Brilliant. OK. I will meet you there.
Wait. What do you mean, meet us there?
- I'm not goin' in without my tank.
- Let's go.
We're listenin' to her now? I thought
we were a committee. We gotta vote.
Everybody for that pathetic plan,
raise your paw.
Majority. Let's go.
Condor to respond when airborne.
OK. OK, I've got us an ID card.
You are just too cool.
All right. Now, try to sound relaxed
and, whatever you do,
- only repeat what I tell you. Got it?
- Condor Control. This is Condor . Over.
Condor Control. Condo...
I mean, Condor .
- Come in. Over.
- Condor we just sent you out.
You must have a stabiliser
in your left modifier, OK? Go ahead.
Must be a stabiliser in the left...
in the modifier.
Condor why aren't you using
your assigned frequency?
- Must be a short haircut.
Because she's quick to flipand empty out the clip And make a man understandwhere she's comin' from Her hard core's connectedto the base of her fate She just breaksand brings drama to the situation Ejaculation, a hot projectile Better recognisethat she comes, she comes She says she had enough of menand now she's lookin' for payback And there's no waythat you can fade her sun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun
- Just repeat what she tells you.
- You're blowing it!
- Say again, .
- You're blowin' it. Just listen to me, OK?
- We're dead.
- We're dead.
Condor you said you're dead?
That's it. Turn this boat around
or you're gonna get us killed.
- Now! Do it now!
- No! We're going in!
You are gonna listen to me for once!
You're gonna shut your deformed face
and let me do my stuff!
Have you got that?
Home Plate, this is Condor .
We have pirate interference.
Obviously a Ripper ploy to confuse you.
Now here's the situation.
This bird has no electrical,
and in about two minutes
we're gonna be kissing gravel,
so listen to me!
Get off your butt and clear us for landing
or I'm gonna fly this rocket
right up your socket!
- Roger, . You're cleared for Hangar A.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Start the water.
Shoving a small,
innocent child down the pipe
and then slowly letting her drown.
Is that wrong?
It's all clear.
Let's go, daddy-o.
- Did you hear that?
- What? I don't hear anything.
- Must be of 'em.
Actually, . Definitely.
Rebecca! Are you OK?
OK. Come on. Come on.
- Come on.
- Go, go, go, go.
You see that light down there?
Light is not our bag.
Yeah. We're much better in the dark.
Like Count Chocula.
Count Chocula's the guy
on the laundry-detergent box.
- If I asked you somethin', I...
- No, he is. He's right.
Thank you. Could we just figure out
what we're gonna do, please?
There are power boxes
down at the end of this aisle.
- If only we could get to them.
- Later, cats.
- Sir, we got action!
- Let's get this over with quickly.
- We've lost power.
- What the hell happened to the lights?
Guard! Watch our back.
Oh, no. Deetee?
Hold on, man. Hold on.
Oh, my God.
I'll see you cats at that big jam in the sky.
Hang on! I hear you!
I can't breathe.
Please! Help me.
I can't breathe.
Please help me.
If you're looking for Sam,
she's in the pipe!
What, again? Piece of shit!
There's somethin' about you
that's different. I think it...
I'll tell you what's different. I've lost
my patience. And you've lost the fight.
I played you.
I played you like an old fiddle.
Well, maybe we could wait tillanother flier does a routine scout,- we capture his ID code and we're in.
Jet. She's been workin' for you
this whole time.
No. You were. You're a walking,
talking, living microphone.
I had them planted all over your body.
Thank you for serving up the Rippers.
They'll make great
shoe leather for my soldiers.
Need a hand?
Come on. Get up.
Oh, I'm so pretty.
I'm gonna hit you so hard,
your children will be born bruised.
Marvellous, isn't it?
State of the art. Holographic technology.
Know what it means? It means
I can hurt you, but you can't hurt me.
I won and you know it.
Say it, say it. Just say I won.
- I won.
- No! No!
- Say I won.
- I won.
Say it... and the little girl lives.
I'd rather her die than live as your slave.
What took ya so long?
Well, well, well.
What's the matter with you? Finish him!
Oh, shit. Don't tell me you're outta ammo.
Don't move a muscle.
I hate wastin' good beer for nothin'.
Screw this, man.
One for the road.
I'm melting! I'm melting!
Is that the best you can do?
Try this close to your heart, asshole.
Did I hurt you yet?
It's not over... over.
It's not over. It's not...
It's not... It's not... It's not...
- Hang on! I hear you!
How many times do I have to tell you?
I don't want to.
See you in the next world.
General, we have taken out the airfields
and now have control of the bridge.
Awaiting your next command, sir.
I took the bullets outta their guns.
That was smart, huh?
Booga, that was very smart.
Whaddaya say we blow this joint?
That's why birds do it, bees do it Even educated fleas do it
- Rebecca, hit the brakes! Waterfall ahead!
- Shut up! You'll ruin the surprise.
Even lazy jellyfish do it Let's do it, let's fall in love I've heard that lizards and frogs do it Lyin' on a rock They say that roosters do itwith the doodlin' cocks Some Argentines without means do it I hear in Boston beans do it Let's do it, let's fall in love When the little bluebird Who has never said a word When the little bird fell At the bottom of a dell When the little blue clerk In the middle of his work Starts a tune When a gentleman calls Bugs in your rugs, they do it,what's the use of my balls? The chimpanzees in the zoos do it Some courageous kangaroos do it Let's do it, let's fall in love I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it Maybe even you and I might do it Let's do it, let's fall in love It's goin' down, yo, the girl got a gun Best run because she's quickto flip and empty out the clip And make a man understandwhere she's comin' from Her hard core's connectedto the base of her fate She just breaksand brings drama to the situation Ejaculation, a hot projectile Better recognise that she comes,she comes correct, collect respect And if not, you catch a broken neck Buddy, look down,your shirt's all bloody Looks like she caught you withthe bad one for messin' with the mad one Told you 'bout this girl before,you didn't listen to me as I talked Now you're stalked by the hunterof the frontier who's size five and sexy Quickly catch a bodyand another one next week Huh, it doesn't mattercos the girls they strap She says she's had enough of menand now she's lookin' for payback And there's no waythat you can fade her sun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun The most venomousfeminist homie, she ain't soft You give her troubleand she might cut your head off Or somethin' that you liketo think's the best She'll blow big holes in your chest She says she gotta cosshe says a lot of ladies won't She says she gotta cosshe says a lot of ladies don't She says she gotta cosshe says a lot of ladies can't She says she gotta cos she knowsa lot of ladies romance the thought To giving men their own medicine Electrocute 'em,light 'em up like Con Edison She got no fear, five rings in her ear Holes in her nose, way-out clothes Livin' life to the fullis buckshot and bullets Triggers, she'll pull it,Earth, she wanna rule it Maybe she will cos she's quick to kill The city lights make her dresses tight,yes, she bites You never know where she'll come from She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun There's no waythat you can fade her sun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She walks softlybut she carries a big gun She She flies without no feathers A fool to try and catch her Well, I don't know Cos I don't know I'm a fool No sex I'm bored with anticipation This love-song radio station I guess you'll sleep I'll count sheep And watch you dream So let's Make a run and buy a rocket 'copter I bought it from a crooked copper Her breath, it smelled like beer Warm beer, warm beer Hey, hey Rocket boy Got a lot of life behind us Hey, hey Mockingbird girl Gotta fly, don't let him hold you down