Tank Girl Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Tank Girl script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Lori Petty and Naomi Watts movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Tank Girl. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Tank Girl Script




  She sings from

somewhere you can't see



  She sits in the top of the greenest tree



  She sends out an aroma

of undefined lust



  It drips on down in a mist from above



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl, the girl you want



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl, the girl you want



  You hear her callin'

everywhere you turn



  You know you're headed

for the pleasure burns



  But the words get stuck

on the tip of your tongue



  She's the real thing

but you knew it all along



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl, the girl you want



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl, the girl you want



  Look at you with your mouth waterin'



  Look at you with your mind spinnin'



  Why don't we just admit it's all over?



  She's just the girl you want



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl, the girl you want



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl, the girl you want



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl, the girl you want



  She's just the girl



  She's just the girl



Listen up, cos I'm only

tellin' you this once.



I'm not a bedtime-story lady,

so pay attention.



It's     . The world is screwed now.



A while ago, this humongous comet

came crashin' into the earth.



Bam! Total devastation.

End of the world as we know it.



No celebrities, no cable TV.



No water! It hasn't rained in    years.



Now    people gotta squeeze inside

the same bathtub. So it ain't all bad.



That's me, the one in the mask.

No, the other one in the mask!



Today's my boyfriend's birthday, so

I'm out shopping for that perfect gift.



Whatever I can scrounge up.



Uh-oh! Ripper raptors.



The Rippers are a demonic army

of bloodthirsty, human-eating,



purse-snatchin', mutant creatures.



Witness Exhibit A.



Euch! You are so dead. They're led

by the infamous Johnny Prophet.



They spend most of their time raidin'

the WP. That's short for Water and Power.



They control most of the water,

and got all the power.



Oh, wait. One last thing.



My friends and me, we do not

suck up to Water and Power.



Yeah, we steal water, but as long as

they don't find out, who gives a shit?



Ah, there it is. Home, sweet home.



That's a beauty.



I'm gonna go water the vegetables.



Town, you fixed the pump, right?

I'm goin' down.



Yeah, go for it!



You've been stealing water.



- What gave you that idea?

- Take off your clothes.



- Now!

- Shit. Right, right, right, right, right.






Did I tell you to stop?






Salute me.



I'm not too good under pressure.



Well, you'll learn, then, won't you?



- Gross out!

- Come on. They're bein' weird again.



- Let's get outta here.

- Let go.






- I was just gettin' into that one.

- Gimme that.






I thought you was workin'

on my Doris Day bust?



I didn't trade you my autographed Doris

picture just for... whatever this is.



I know, but the wood talks to me.

It said Ripper.



How would you know what one looks

like? No one's ever seen a Ripper.



No one's ever seen

your peanut dick either.



- I'm tellin'.

- Go ahead.



Rebecca! Don't forget guard duty.



Adam was dust until God

injected him with life.



And do you know

what was in that injection?






Water is life. Water is power.



Well done. You've all

done a masterful job.



   per cent of the desert

and all the water it contains



now belongs to Water and Power.



I think that deserves a little toast.



To Captain Derouche,



for securing most of the desert.



- Captain Derouche.

- Captain Derouche.



I can promise you, sir, the Rippers

will only be a minor setback.



Once I take care of them,



that final crack of land will be ours.



This crack of land, Captain?



Well, it's just a small crack.

It doesn't matter. We'll let that go.



Oh, my. Now look what's happened.



We lost the Feta Plains.



And the Tenelson Ridge!



And so on!



There are three million litres of water

underneath the Blue Dunes.



And you will retrieve it.



Do I make myself clear, gentlemen?



Yes, sir.






Remove your boots, Captain.



Now come here.



The Fool.



It was foolish not to carry out my order.



It was foolish to walk across

a floor full of glass.



If I were you, I wouldn't have done it.

I would have killed me first.



But you lack that courage,

don't you, Captain?



Come closer.






Sergeant Small,



it's your show now.






- try not to let me down.

- Yes, sir.






I take guard duty very seriously.



  Before I was even born



  It's such a gamble when you get a face



  It's fascinating

to observe what the mirror does



  But when I dine,

it's for the wall that I set a place



  I belong to the blank generation



  And I can take it or leave it each time



Elvis! Elvis! Come out and play.



Hey, baby. What do you say?

Me and you, Vegas?



  Triangles were fallin'

at the window as the doctor cursed



  He was a cartoon

long forsaken by the public eye


















Rebecca! Rebecca!



Got you!



- You buttsmear.

- What'd I tell you?



Don't say "buttsmear".

It's not becoming. Say...



"asshole" or "dickwad".



- Trade you.

- What?



I'll sneak you some food

for that dangerball you found.



I don't know. You know how to work it?



If you don't... you're steak tartare.



All right.



First... go get me my food.



Happy birthday.



I knew you couldn't resist me.



Snip, snip.



Don't come any closer.



You gotta stay there... and watch.



  Blow me away, see if I...



  Death of a future, goodbye to my friends



  Wish I could see you all again



  Family hollow, family real



  Wish you were here, see how I feel



OK. You can come a little bit closer.



But you can't touch.






- Lose the scissors.

- Shit.



Water and Power! Hands in the air!



- Over here! Over here!

- Get the typewriters!




They've been siphoning water.



Well, keep goin'.

We're just gettin' to the good stuff.



Ooh, yeah.






Drop something?



Ah, shit.



Rebecca! Help! Rebecca!






No! No!









Come on!



Work! Shit!



We got her!



You've been stealing water. Not smart.



We could have a lot of fun with this one.



Well, well.



Don't you know

you shouldn't own animals?



There's a water shortage.



There's your water.



Oi, you.



Look at me when I'm talkin' to ya.



That cut looks painful.



I like pain.



And what else do you like?



Hot oil.



Vacuum attachments.






Hey... which of you gorgeous guys

would like an oil change, hm?



Don't be stupid. She's gonna bite it off.



The moment I feel teeth, you feel lead.



Well? What are you waitin' for?



I'm gonna need a microscope

and tweezers. It's like...



You know, you're gonna have to stop this.

You're really gettin' me hot.









She's all yours, sir.



Just how many of my men did you kill?



Eight, sir.



Eight, eight, the burning hate.



Between Sunday and Monday

hangs a day so dark it will devastate.



Excuse me.



Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.



Look, you wanna torture me,



spank me, lick me - do it.



But if this poetry shit continues,

just shoot me now, please.



What, and waste all that talent?



I'm offering you the chance of a lifetime.

The honour of working for me.



Not interested.



Not yet.



Put her to work.



Dig or die!



You people are pathetic!



These water pipes should

have been dug yesterday!



Just stand still.

Hey, this punk's got a knife!



Thought you could use it, huh?



Enjoying yourself?



Hey, what time is it?

I don't wanna miss Baywatch.



Hey, Jet. How's the jet, Jet?



I asked you a question!



There are stress cracks

in the turbine blades,



and the manifold pressure

sensor's leaking like a sieve.



I'm doing a full teardown. I'll have

her back together by Wednesday.



You'll have it back together by morning.

I don't care if you have to work all night.



That is, of course, unless...

you wanna make me change my mind.



I'll have it fixed by morning.



Failure to recycle

body fluids is a violation.



Number four: Hoarding

water rations is a violation.



Number five: Siphoning body fluids

from another prisoner is a violation.



Number six: Tampering with

no-smoking devices is a violation.



  Can't anybody see?



  We've got a war to fight



  Never find our way



  Regardless of what they say



  How can it feel this wrong?



Wait a minute! Where are you goin'?

What is your problem?



I have gone out of my way

to be nice to you!



If it wasn't for me, you would

just be another whore around here.



Now, all I'm asking for



is just a little bit in return.



Quit pickin' on my girlfriend.






God, that is...



Thanks. It worked.



What worked?



End of shift. All prisoners return to cells.



End of shift. All prisoners return to cells.



I'm in love!






Systems check. Stand by.



Check, check. Check, check, check.



Please enter security signature.



- My mom and yours, hanging out clothes.

- Security signature invalid.






You have ten seconds before cyanide gas

is injected into the chamber.



Ten... nine...



eight... seven...



six... five...



four... three...



two... one.



Oh, no.



- Know the security code to this thing?

- Yeah.



Good. Then get me outta here.



Go. Do it. Get cranking.



They're hijacking a tank.

Sir, if you want my opinion...



No, I don't.



Places to wreck, people to do.



This... this tank, it... it... isn't...



Isn't? Isn't?



- Isn't...

- What?



Just one little adjective. We'll have a

whole sentence here. The tank isn't glad.



Sad. Mad.






It isn't op... operational.



- How do I know you're not lyin'?

- Because if I was lying,



your lungs'd be full of cyanide gas.



Cool. So we get a new tank.



Wait. Wait! Look, nobody gets

out of here without a clearance.



We're all prisoners here.

And if they catch you...



Then - don't tell me - they'll take away

my TVprivileges? I'll live with it.



My, my. She'll be fun to break.



How's your lover?



I wouldn't get too attached.



She's not gonna be around much longer.



I bet you just can't wait to take

this baby for a test drive, huh?



That's too bad,



cos you just lost your flying privileges.



And... the whole hangar is off limits, too.



You happy?



Miss me?



- What are you doing?

- I was thinkin' about leavin' this place.



It's been swell,

but the swelling's gone down.



What do you reckon?

We go to New York, see Cats.



You don't understand.



The better you behave,

the more they leave you alone.



And... the more they leave you alone,

the better off you are.



Well, that's a bore!



There's nothin' to be scared of.



You just gotta think about it like...

the first time you got laid.



You just gotta go:

"Daddy, are you sure this is right?"



- You're sick.

- How come you do that?



How come you always cover

your mouth when you smile?



You got bad teeth or somethin'?



- I don't know.

- Come on.



What do you say we bolt?



I'm really startin' to like it here.



People are nice, food's great,

and I love my job.



I can see why you wanna hang around!






It's really hard for me...



to play with myself in this thing.



That's a shame.



Look, you want to play, I'll play.

And I'll win.



No. Not if it's Monopoly,

cos I really kick ass at that game.



But... I get to be the shoe.



I'm going to ask you just one more time.



Do you want to work

for Water and Power?



Yeah! That sounds groovy.



Do I get to wear

a cute little outfit like yours?



The pipe.



You're gonna really love this one.



It goes down    metres.



Gets smaller and smaller

the deeper you go.



Sounds wicked.



Can I go first?



I hope you're not claustrophobic.



Drop her!









- Rebecca! Rebecca!

- No!












Full metal. They didn't have

a chance to squeeze off a round.



Another outpost lost to those Rippers.



At this rate, we'll lose all our water.



Rippers must have come up

from some underground sub-gate.



Well then, I know just

the young lady to help us find it.



Absolutely, sir.



Well, I'm so glad

you see things my way now.



You know what I see?



No. What?



This... big... honkin' booger,



hangin' outta your left nostril.



If I was you,

I'd use this finger to pick it out.



I win.



Yeah. Lucky you.



And just wait till you see

what you've won.



Excuse me.



Relax. It's only a locator.



This is your pulse.



Now I'll always be close to your heart.



Your job is to penetrate

this sub-gate we found,



which could be the entrance

to the Rippers' base.



Most of these are booby-trapped,

so if we hear a loud bang... sorry.



If not, congratulations.

You just found the Rippers' hideout.



Either way, I win.



Like a piece of cheese

at the end of a fishing hook.



- That's you.

- Ready?






Condor Control, Condor   .

I'm detecting Ripper activity...



Oh, my God!



That's what you get for messin' with me.






Well, whaddaya know?



Am I close to your heart now, Kesslee?



What happened to the rest of ya?












Don't shoot! Don't shoot!



- I thought the Rippers got you.

- Hell, no.



Come on, let's go.



I ain't goin' back there.

You're gonna have to kill me first.



No... I'm not.



Cos I'm not gonna go back there either.



We're free.



Oh, no.



We'd better go before they come back

for us. You take the tank.



Are you sure?



Go! Go!



  Bill collector called today



  Shove! IRS is on my case









No! Rebecca, come on!



Rebecca, turn the engine off!



Kill the engine!



You're crazy!



Are you OK?



Sorry about the bonker on the head.

I think I need to go practise some more.



- No!

- Yes!



Take that! And that!



You didn't have to

rough me up so bad, Becky.



Look! No hands!



You could do that for a living.



Your face has been gutted,

Mr Kesslee, sir.



To be honest, your chances of seeing

are as likely as your arm growing back.



However, I can make you comfortable.






No painkillers.



Do I make myself clear, Doctor?



- Yes, sir.

- Good.



Now... what is the prognosis?



- Not good, sir.

- Not good.



Excuse me.



- Sir, this is Mr Che'tsai.

- What? What?






He specialises in cybergenic

reconstructive surgery.



Go ahead, sir.



All the king's horses

and all the king's men



wish they had the technology I have.



If you want my services,



the fee will be        litres.



Doctor, come here.



You see the glass half-empty.



I prefer to see it half-full.



- Don't you agree, Sergeant?

- I don't understand.



We can't be in here. We're trespassing.

What if somebody catches us?



Jet, there she blows, matey!



Put it down. It's not funny.



What is it?



Raise your hands to the sky gods!



The rains are coming.



But it hasn't rained since the comet.



I need metal to complete my ark.

I'll be taking your tank.



No, see, you won't be taking the tank.



The Rippers are waiting.

I must save them from the floods.



Tell me the security code.



All right, listen, Rain Lady.



Where'd you get this?



- I made it.

- Liar.



- She's lying.

- How do you know?



It's something I designed -

a spectrum analyser



which recognises

voice-pattern stress modulations.



- It detects lies.

- But I only speak the truth.



- Liar.

- All right...



I... I caught it in my fishpond... on a stick.



- Liar.

- All right, all right, all right.



They were selling a girl's stuff after

they had taken her prisoner. I bought it.



- It was sad, really.

- What'd they do with the girl?



First tell me what

Water and Power want with her.



We're not Water and Power.

We're escaped prisoners.



In that case... It was terrible. They put

her to work in town at Liquid Silver.



Come on, Jet. We gotta go get her.

To the Bat Tank!



Wait! Wait! We can't go into town

with those Water and Power vehicles.



You can fix them up here in my garage.






Hey, Jet.



Nice work.



They took the bait, sir, and they're

on their way to Liquid Silver for the girl.



- Make sure I get the girl first, Sergeant.

- Yes, sir.



I'm outta here.



What you got there, little boy?



No, I don't need

none of that today, thank you.



- Nice hats.

- Do you know what kind of place this is?



Yeah. Come on.

Let's split up and find Sam.



  Stand up



  You've got to manage



  I won't sympathise



  Any more



How many would you like?



  And if you complain once more



  You'll meet an army of me



  You're all right



I got a guy here

who wants the schoolgirl thing.



For real.



Introduce him to Sam.



She's just a girl.



Not for long.



- Dancers, welcome to Liquid Silver.

- I can get you out.



First we are going to create your look.



Girls, please step up

to the glamourport in front of you.



Your dressing room is equipped with

the latest Liquid Silver fashions.



You will start by shaving

all inappropriate hair.



If your ears are not pierced,

you will find an ear-puncher before you.



  The wrong things right



  Can't stop lovin' you



  And I won't stop callin' you, my baby



The crop top.



The anklets and the mules.



The spiralling arm cuff.



And now the wrap skirt.



You have now finished

creating your look.



If you have followed instructions

properly, you should appear as so.



Lock up your sons.



Now, you stop this

childish behaviour this instant.



Do you want me to tell your mother

how naughty you've been? Do you?



Don't take my silver.

It's all the money I've got.



Silver. I'll have that.



The Clapper. That's what

you get for being a perv.



Hey! You're gonna get fired,

you keep treatin' the guests like that.






There she is! And the little girl. Get them!



Guards! Hurry!



Kill her. Kill them both.



Not a good idea.



Now... everybody drop your guns,



or I scrape off all her make-up.



This might take me a really long time.



Sam! Is this the lady who put you

in a room with that scumbag?



- Yeah.

- A ten-year-old girl.



She has to learn sometime.



Look, you got two choices.



Either I improve that lovely hairdo,



or you sing for us.






All right. What do you want me to sing?



"Let's Do It." Cole Porter,     .



I hate that song.



I'll cut it off.



  When the little bluebird



  Who has never said a word



  Starts to sing



  Spring, spring



Louder! I can't hear you!



  When the little blue clerk



  In the middle of his work



  Starts a tune to the moon up above






  It is nature, that's all



  Simply telling us to fall in love



Come on! You too!



  And that's why



  Birds do it, bees do it



  Even educated fleas do it



  Let's do it



  Let's fall in love



  I'm sure giraffes on the sly do it



  Heavy hippopotami do it



  Let's do it, let's fall in love



  They say that



  Upper-crust ladies do it



  When a gentleman struts



  Come on, doll



  Why don't we do it?



  Or don't you have the guts?



  Penguins in flocks on the rocks do it



  Even little cuckoos in their clocks do it



  Let's do it, let's fall in love



- What the hell is that?

- Sounds like Cole Porter to me, sir.



- End it!

- Yes, sir.



  Sometimes on the sly you do it



  Maybe later you and I might do it



  Let's do it, let's fall in love



Hey, you in the bathrobe!



  Let's do it









Jet! Where's Sam?



- Sam!

- Sam!









- Sam!

- You let her go!









Don't worry. Your friends'll

be along shortly to save you,



my little princess.



The Rippers? Are you kidding?

You don't know what they're like.



Are you out of your mind?

You haven't seen these things.



They're not human. They're

demons from hell. I'm telling you.



Look, if we're gonna rescue Sam, we're

gonna need an army. They're an army.



Yeah, but...



Rebecca, we've been

combing the desert all night.



We'll never find the Rippers' sub-gate.



Look, Rain Lady said the Rippers'

sub-gate was around here somewhere.



Near two rocks.



I can't believe we're doing this.



Rebecca? Rebecca?






Where are you?



What's going on? Rebecca!









- Jet, what took you so long?

- Rebecca.









See hell, go to hell.



Oh, my God. It's the Elephant Man!



Hey, Quasimodo guy! We're hungry

in here. How 'bout some food?



Now you've done it!



So, like,



what are your names?



- Gimme the gas.

- And, like, what are you doing here?



Is it true what they say

about guys with big shoes?



- Yeah.

- He asked you a question. Answer it!



Hey, I have two words for you.



Brush your teeth!



They're spies. They got

Water and Power logos all over.



Yeah, I was thinking that,

but then I was also thinking



that if they are Water and Power...



No, no, no, no!



Why would they come here advertisin' it?



Check it out. Tattoos.

Wonder where else they got 'em.



I don't think those are tattoos.

Who would want some alphabet soup?



I'd rather have a dragon or somethin'

more Aquarian-related, you dig?



- They're prisoner stamps.

- Prison, my ass.



That's exactly what they want us to think.



Or, better yet, that isn't

what they want us to think.



That way we'll think

what they think we might think,



- but actually...

- Booga.



Try not to speak.



- How much did they pay you to spy?

- Two dollars and    cents.



Shut up!



You should go easy on the truth serum.

It might send 'em off.



That could be to our advantage.



Good. I'm tired of asking 'em

questions anyway. I say we kill 'em.



- I say we hump 'em.

- I say we get crumpets and tea.



Tasty. Crumpets and tea. All in favour

of crumpets and tea say aye.



- Aye.

- Ain't gonna be no crumpets and tea!



We're gonna take 'em

outside and waste 'em.



I think they're nice. I say we let 'em go.



Let 'em go? They're spies!

I'm gonna kill 'em myself.



Wait! Now, I don't remember

anybody puttin' you in charge, T-Saint.



Yeah. He's right.

We're a committee now. We'll vote on it.



Dig. All in favour of killing 'em,

raise your tail.



And all those in favour of not killing 'em...



- Gentlemen, it's a tie.

- Coin-toss time.



This is pathetic.



No cheating. Ready? One, two, three.



Got you.



- Hi.

- Hi.



Do you suppose me and Jet

could go to the bathroom?



Totally negatory.



- Hi.

- Hi.



You know, me and Jet

could make it worth your while.



Put a little smile on that kangaroo face.



You got baseball cards?



No, but I know where

I could get you some.



She does.



- Totally negatory.

- No, wait, wait, wait!



Come on. You don't wanna be

like those other manimals in there.



We're not manimals.



What are you?



The army wanted to build

the ultimate soldier,



so they messed with kangaroo NDA and...



You mean DNA.






And they created us.



And then the war ended

and they told Johnny to poison us.



- Johnny Prophet?

- Yeah.



- Why?

- Because he was the one that made us.



But then he didn't do it because

he decided that he liked us too much.



I have this great idea. You, me and Jet

go for a visit with Johnny Prophet.



When he gets back, yeah. Well... maybe.



Where did he go?



To... New Zealand, for a little while,



to help some scientist guy who was

makin' sea water so you could drink it.



Does she need to know that?

Do they need to know that?



Get your ass outta here!



- Go ahead, WP . We have...

- Hey, you guys, hey!



- Water and Power's gettin' a shipment.

- What kind of shipment?



- I don't know. It's comin' from Red Sands.

- When?






- What if it's an arms shipment?

- It's a trap.



What if they want us to think

it's a trap but it's really not?



That way, when we get there,

it could still be one.



- Or, better yet, what if...

- Booga.



Why don't you make yourself useful

and go and choke on somethin'?



That's cold, man.



OK. We're gonna give you chicks

a chance to prove yourself.



Call it an initiation.



You fail, you die.



Yeah, but first you gotta strip.



- That's not in the plan.

- Why not?



Hold on, cats. All right.



All you have to do is confirm

the shipment. Copacetic.



You're gonna use this, but you have to be

really careful, because I designed it with...



I especially built it

with a visual-send processor.



It's a little invention - that I invented

myself, I might add, actually.



- Smile.

- And these are so you can hear us.



This one's for you.



And this one... I made especially for you.



Let me help you put it on cos it's kinda

tricky. I'm sorry. How clumsy of me.



- Get off!

- It was hard to clip on.



OK. So, we can hear you,

but how are you gonna hear us?



Just speak facin' west.

We'll hear you all right.



The code will be: "On the Road". Yeah.



He's Jack Kerouac incarnate.



We're all reincarnated. That means you're

not really dead or you think you're dead...



- Who'd you used to be?

- A cop.






I used to be Ted Smith, assistant manager

at Chief Auto Parts in Cincinnati, Ohio.



- Fascinating.

- Thank you.



I was a dog,

but because I was really good



they moved me up to human-being status.



Sort of.






North. Wait. South... west.



Mr Kerouac, I am sending you an image.



- Here it comes.

- This is the south side of the warehouse.



That's gotta be it. Let's move.



All I see is a coupla workers

unloadin' some crates.



That could be toilet paper. I don't see

no Water and Power vehicles out there.



Tell you the truth, I don't see jack shit.

We need more proof.



Yeah. I'll give you more proof.



- I got your proof.

- There it is.



- Oh, my.

- Tasty.



Damn it.



We gotta get in closer if we're gonna

take pictures of those weapons.



What are you doing?

Those guys'll mangle you.



Jet... they're men.



Move it or lose it.



Becca. What's this for?



- Work with me, girl.

- What do you mean, work with you?



What are you doing?



Oh, fabulous.



I have died and gone

to hard-body heaven.



Sheneequa, don't dally.



You are giving me realness.



Delfrieda, darling. Be a good little girl and

let's get set up. Over there by the crates.



- Take off your shirt.

- What are you doing here?



- This is a restricted area.

- I know you're not talking to me like this.



- Obviously you didn't get the memo.

- What memo?



Darling, we are doing

a "Men of Water and Power" calendar.



And I think you would be

the perfect supermodel cover.



You mean we get to be calendar guys?

Can I be December?



Baby, you can be any month you want.



LeSean, have we left

ourselves in our purse?



Shoot the men near the crates.

It's more... manly.






Come on. Get up. Get up. Come on.



All right. Here we go.



Oh, my goodness. You are

so beautiful you're making me sick.



Smile for me.



Yes! OK.



- What's this?

- I don't know.



Let me see... Open your shirt.

Quick, quick!



All right, now. Smile.

Let me see those teeth.



OK. Yes, yes. Yes, I like that.



Those are definitely weapons

in those crates. We better move.



No way. The whole thing is

so convenient, man. If they wanna be



down with us,

tell 'em to hijack the shipment.



- If they pull it off, we'll think about it.

- I'll have the goods in an hour.






The glamour has left the building.



There is no magic, there is no sparkle,

there is no je ne sais quoi.



- Come, Jetina.

- Hold your chest. Come on.



Yes, that's brilliant. That's great.



- Jetina, come.

- Oh, God. That's great!



- You're so brilliant! You're a supermodel!

- The super has left the model, girl.



- Come on!

- When's the calendar comin' out?



Let's go!



Turbo booster!



What the hell...?



Suck on this, dirtbag!



And keep your ass outta the fast lane!






Jet, what are you wearing tonight?



Jetness. Remember me?

Hijacking shipment. Me, you.



Jet! Hello!



Shit! I've got a malfunction.



Fix it fast and get

your narrow butt over here.



I wouldn't want you to miss all this fun.



Do you mind?

I'm tryin' to have a little lunch.



Now you're workin' my tits.



You guys can't shoot worth a shit!






Where is she?



Road kill.



I'm too young for this shit.



Well, I guess we got rid of her, huh?



Jack... Jack!






- Feeling a little inadequate?

- Get outta here!



Hey, girl. Glad you could join me.

I'm in the semi, and I got the goods.



Rebecca! Can you hear me?



There's a big cliff coming up on you.

Now hit the brakes.



- Hit the brakes!

- Brakes aren't working, girl! Plan B!



- Get outta there! Quick! Jump!

- Jet!






Come on!



I came as fast as I could. I know

you probably didn't need help,



but I got here as fast as I could.



I had it all under control, Booga.



- That squash is really good.

- A toast... to our newest members.



May their energies enhance

the spirit of our circle.



Great. Now let's check out the weapons.



After the ceremony

the weapons'll be disposed of.



Why? After all that!



We don't use guns.



You don't use guns.



Prophet taught us to fight

without the corruption of guns.



Let us all hold hands.






I'd like to recite a poem that I've written.



Laugh, you butterfly



That dances in the mud



Laugh, you piece of dental floss



You burn, me toast.



Laugh, you pig that flies in the sky



With rainbow twinky fluid



And three litres of high-octane petrol.









Thank you.



Now... let's pray.



Come on, Jet.



- What are you doing?

- We're praying to the spirit of freedom.



- Prophet taught us religion.

- Hallelujah!



- Come on.

- I can't.



It's OK. I have condoms.



Hit it, Jet!



Booga, where did you learn to dance?



  Now where'd it go?






Oh, wow.



It's one of Johnny Prophet's dreams.



See how the people are all free,



and the water just

comes down from the sky



and it don't cost nothin'.



With flowers and rainbows.



It's beautiful.



This is just like Christmas.



I love opening things, especially

when you don't know what's inside.



I remember the first Christmas

I got to open something.



It was a book. I didn't know what the title

was cos the cover was ripped off,



but it had these really cool pictures of...



- Booga.

- OK, OK. I'm done.



Let's get this one. Two... three!



- It's dirt.

- This is bullshit.



- We've been had.

- Good job.



Come on. Help me open

this one over here.



One... two... three.



Jesus Christ!



Johnny Prophet.



Motherfuckin' Kesslee killed Prophet!



OK, guys. Here's the plan.



Water and Power has mines

all the way from here to here.



There's no way through 'em.



- How about we go over 'em?

- That's great.



How you plannin' on

sneakin' over the top? Fly?



Yep. We've got the stolen flier.



All we have to do is paint it

back the way it was and... pow!



- And when they ask for a security code?

- Yeah. Then what?



Well, maybe we could wait till

another flier does a routine scout,



we capture his ID code and we're in.



Brilliant. OK. I will meet you there.



Wait. What do you mean, meet us there?



- I'm not goin' in without my tank.

- Let's go.



We're listenin' to her now? I thought

we were a committee. We gotta vote.



Everybody for that pathetic plan,

raise your paw.



Majority. Let's go.






Condor to    respond when airborne.



OK. OK, I've got us an ID card.



You are just too cool.



All right. Now, try to sound relaxed

and, whatever you do,



- only repeat what I tell you. Got it?

- Yeah.



- Condor Control. This is Condor   . Over.

- OK.



Condor Control. Condo...

I mean, Condor  .



- Come in. Over.

- Condor   we just sent you out.



You must have a stabiliser

in your left modifier, OK? Go ahead.



Must be a stabiliser in the left...

in the modifier.



Condor   why aren't you using

your assigned frequency?



- Must be a short haircut.

- No!



Short circuit.



  Because she's quick to flip

and empty out the clip



  And make a man understand

where she's comin' from



  Her hard core's connected

to the base of her fate



  She just breaks

and brings drama to the situation



  Ejaculation, a hot projectile



  Better recognise

that she comes, she comes



  She says she had enough of men

and now she's lookin' for payback



  And there's no way

that you can fade her sun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



- Just repeat what she tells you.

- You're blowing it!



- Say again,   .

- You're blowin' it. Just listen to me, OK?



- We're dead.

- We're dead.



Condor    you said you're dead?



That's it. Turn this boat around

or you're gonna get us killed.



- Now! Do it now!

- No! We're going in!



You are gonna listen to me for once!



You're gonna shut your deformed face

and let me do my stuff!



Have you got that?



All right.



Home Plate, this is Condor  .

We have pirate interference.



Obviously a Ripper ploy to confuse you.

Now here's the situation.



This bird has no electrical,

and in about two minutes



we're gonna be kissing gravel,

so listen to me!



Get off your butt and clear us for landing



or I'm gonna fly this rocket

right up your socket!



- Roger,   . You're cleared for Hangar A.

- Cool.



Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.



About time.






Start the water.



Shoving a small,

innocent child down the pipe



and then slowly letting her drown.



Is that wrong?



It's all clear.



Let's go, daddy-o.



- Did you hear that?

- What? I don't hear anything.



- Must be     of 'em.

-    .



We're toast.



Actually,    . Definitely.



Rebecca! Are you OK?



OK. Come on. Come on.



- Come on.

- Go, go, go, go.






You see that light down there?

Light is not our bag.



Yeah. We're much better in the dark.

Like Count Chocula.



Dracula, fool!



Count Chocula's the guy

on the laundry-detergent box.



- If I asked you somethin', I...

- No, he is. He's right.



Shut up!



Thank you. Could we just figure out

what we're gonna do, please?



There are power boxes

down at the end of this aisle.



- If only we could get to them.

- Later, cats.






- Sir, we got action!

- Let's get this over with quickly.



- We've lost power.

- What the hell happened to the lights?



Guard! Watch our back.



Oh, no. Deetee?



Hold on, man. Hold on.






Oh, my God.



I'll see you cats at that big jam in the sky.



No... No!






Rebecca! Help!



Hang on! I hear you!



I can't breathe.



Please! Help me.



I can't breathe.



Please help me.



If you're looking for Sam,

she's in the pipe!



What, again? Piece of shit!



There's somethin' about you

that's different. I think it...



I'll tell you what's different. I've lost

my patience. And you've lost the fight.



I played you.

I played you like an old fiddle.



Well, maybe we could wait till

another flier does a routine scout,



- we capture his ID code and we're in.

- Brilliant.



Jet. She's been workin' for you

this whole time.



No. You were. You're a walking,

talking, living microphone.



I had them planted all over your body.



Thank you for serving up the Rippers.



They'll make great

shoe leather for my soldiers.



Need a hand?



Come on. Get up.



Oh, I'm so pretty.



I'm gonna hit you so hard,

your children will be born bruised.



Get up!



Marvellous, isn't it?



State of the art. Holographic technology.



Know what it means? It means

I can hurt you, but you can't hurt me.



I won and you know it.



Come on.



Say it, say it. Just say I won.



- I won.

- No! No!



- Say I won.

- I won.



Say it... and the little girl lives.



I'd rather her die than live as your slave.



What took ya so long?



Well, well, well.



I win.



What's the matter with you? Finish him!



Oh, shit. Don't tell me you're outta ammo.



Don't move a muscle.



I hate wastin' good beer for nothin'.






Screw this, man.



Higher! Higher!



Come on!



One for the road.



I'm melting! I'm melting!



Is that the best you can do?



Try this close to your heart, asshole.



Did I hurt you yet?



It's not over... over.



It's not over. It's not...

It's not... It's not... It's not...



- Help.

- Hang on! I hear you!



Help. Help!



Fuck me.



How many times do I have to tell you?



I don't want to.



Don't move!






See you in the next world.






General, we have taken out the airfields

and now have control of the bridge.



Awaiting your next command, sir.



I took the bullets outta their guns.

That was smart, huh?



Booga, that was very smart.



Whaddaya say we blow this joint?



  That's why birds do it, bees do it



  Even educated fleas do it



- Rebecca, hit the brakes! Waterfall ahead!

- Shut up! You'll ruin the surprise.



  Even lazy jellyfish do it



  Let's do it, let's fall in love



  I've heard that lizards and frogs do it



  Lyin' on a rock



  They say that roosters do it

with the doodlin' cocks



  Some Argentines without means do it



  I hear in Boston beans do it



  Let's do it, let's fall in love



  When the little bluebird



  Who has never said a word



  When the little bird fell



  At the bottom of a dell



  When the little blue clerk



  In the middle of his work



  Starts a tune



  When a gentleman calls



  Bugs in your rugs, they do it,

what's the use of my balls?



  The chimpanzees in the zoos do it



  Some courageous kangaroos do it



  Let's do it, let's fall in love



  I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it



  Maybe even you and I might do it



  Let's do it, let's fall in love



  It's goin' down, yo, the girl got a gun



  Best run because she's quick

to flip and empty out the clip



  And make a man understand

where she's comin' from



  Her hard core's connected

to the base of her fate



  She just breaks

and brings drama to the situation



  Ejaculation, a hot projectile



  Better recognise that she comes,

she comes correct, collect respect



  And if not, you catch a broken neck



  Buddy, look down,

your shirt's all bloody



  Looks like she caught you with

the bad one for messin' with the mad one



  Told you 'bout this girl before,

you didn't listen to me as I talked



  Now you're stalked by the hunter

of the frontier who's size five and sexy



  Quickly catch a body

and another one next week



  Huh, it doesn't matter

cos the girls they strap



  She says she's had enough of men

and now she's lookin' for payback



  And there's no way

that you can fade her sun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  The most venomous

feminist homie, she ain't soft



  You give her trouble

and she might cut your head off



  Or somethin' that you like

to think's the best



  She'll blow big holes in your chest



  She says she gotta cos

she says a lot of ladies won't



  She says she gotta cos

she says a lot of ladies don't



  She says she gotta cos

she says a lot of ladies can't



  She says she gotta cos she knows

a lot of ladies romance the thought



  To giving men their own medicine



  Electrocute 'em,

light 'em up like Con Edison



  She got no fear, five rings in her ear



  Holes in her nose, way-out clothes



  Livin' life to the full

is buckshot and bullets



  Triggers, she'll pull it,

Earth, she wanna rule it



  Maybe she will cos she's quick to kill



  The city lights make her dresses tight,

yes, she bites



  You never know where she'll come from



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  There's no way

that you can fade her sun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun



  She walks softly

but she carries a big gun






  She flies without no feathers



  A fool to try and catch her



  Well, I don't know



  Cos I don't know



  I'm a fool



  No sex



  I'm bored with anticipation



  This love-song radio station



  I guess you'll sleep



  I'll count sheep



  And watch you dream



  So let's



  Make a run and buy a rocket 'copter



  I bought it from a crooked copper



  Her breath, it smelled like beer



  Warm beer, warm beer



  Hey, hey



  Rocket boy



  Got a lot of life behind us



  Hey, hey



  Mockingbird girl



  Gotta fly, don't let him hold you down


Special help by SergeiK