Voila! Finally, the Taxi 2
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Luc Besson movie
with Marion Cotillard. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Taxi 2. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Jean-Louis Schlesser in his mean machine,
No. 10, 10, like Zidane
30 meter, left Brake!
World rally champion in '98 and '99.
winner of the Paris - Dakar: the man to beat!
Left, top speed!
Get a move on! We'll get slaughtered!
I'm flat out!
The guy behind's flatter out! Watch out!
He's flashing me! Isn't that Vatanen?
No, a taxi!
Move your crate! I'm working here!
-Is it the right road? -Short cut!
-Don't let a taxi win! -No way!
Sorry, folks. A tourist's blocking the road!
It looks more like a race car.
It's just a clown in a "babe magnet"!
A taxi on our tail sure looks bad!
I'll shake him now!
He rammed me!
Enough! We'll be here all week!
Nearly there, lady.
Why...why are there so many people here?
They're on vacation.
C'mon. Jean-Louis!Bravo, Jean Louis!
No. 10 ... It's not Schlesser!
I didn't catch his number...
17 min., 25 sec!
People always throw up after! Never during
-Who's it for?
Her! Her water broke!
-You're giving birth! Well, I ain't knitting!
Get the gear! We'll do it here!
Hey doc. I gotta run. Use the ground, not my seat!
30 minutes late for lunch with my folks!
Yeah, I'm on my way.
Daniel, you're finally meeting my Dad!
He's expecting you!
This is a super-big emergency! Top-octan!
What are my folks? Diesel?
Lilly, come on!
Mom's edgy. Dad's pacing the floor. But hey, take your time!
I can't help it I'm stuck tight here!
"Stuck"? Who's yelling?
It's... a woman.
Thanks! I guesssed that much!
I'm just watching. It's not what you think. you hear me?
I can hear that bitch!
Is it someone I know?
No! I don't know her either! I just met her!
Oh, I feel it now! I feel it!
Don't fuck with me!
You got some slut there while I wait for you!
No! This big woman's yelling 'cause her water snapped! Her husband's here.
Husband, too? A threesome in a car?
Oh, no! Someone tell her!
I don't know I can. Here. This is your fault.
I'm the husband. -It's marvelous! -Push
Listen to me Daniel. he's dead meat!
He's all shook up, that's all.
Want to talk to the doctor? A doctor, too!
Lilly, I swear it's the truth!
The baby's coming out. Push!
It's a baby. I swear!
I see the head! I think it's a head!
Your baby? No it's not!
He's nothing like me, I swear! He's as wrinkly as an old garden gnome!
Marvelous! It's marvelous.
You're messing me about? Just listen!
This woman... a boy just gave birth. Outside the clinic, in my taxi
She's ruined my back seat!
Don's hit that poor kid! I can't hear a thing now!
You be there when I give birth!
I can sit and wait if you like. This place looks fine.
You got 10 minutes!
Not twins? Is it a wrap? No offense, but I gotta run!
Ah, hon! Problem with your friend?
An emergency at the hospital. A difficult birth.
I understand. Saving lives all day. I respect that.
I don't know what to say. You were wonderful!
I hope you won't lose your license.
I don't have one!
I am quite pleased... moved, even...
to give you... first...
-You sure? -Yup!
I don't want to twist your arm.
No doubt about it
It's just fine! It's not'cause it's my 27th time?
Your 100th time would be the same!
You're ready... really ready.
-Ok, I accept. -That's fine.
-I'll beck out. -No!
Leave it! Don't touch! Leave it!
-I'll do it! I'll sort it out! We'll sort it out!
Don't I have my license?
Yes, you do!
But don't go to extremes. Take it smoothly.
Your license is in your hand. Now you go home... on foot! See?
I see. I'll call tomorrow in case you regret it.
No! I won't be around nor the following days.
I got transferred to Paris.
This is a leaving present?
For my most regular pupil!
Yeah, right... "Regular"
Car Weekly, Please.
That's ok. My pleasure!
Mom, he's here! Mom!
Yes, of course! Let's eat!
Sorry, it won't happen again.
Not if you screw this up! There won't be a next time. My dad's real strict.
Oh, come on. deep down, he must be nice.
His daughter's eyes are so blue!
You just be careful!
Don't worry. It'll be ok. I know I'll like him, so he'll like me!
-Is he a cop? -No!
Ok, then! Ain't nothing worse than a cop!
Dad? I'd like you meet my boyfriend, Daniel.
You're a doctor?
Go on... knock him dead!
Pleased to meet you. I've heard so much about you.
Are you deaf or won't you answer?
I'm not a doctor... I'm an apprentice!
1st... I mean I'm about to change into 2nd.
-You're not young. -Edmond!
What? I'm just inspecting a new recruit. Answer!
Sir, I'm not young but I've done lots of jobs
to feed my family and pay my licens... studies.
I started when I was 12 so I've aged.
I drive a taxi... ambulance. Ambulance!
I got delayed at the clinic.
It lets me keep my hand in. Eye on the road, eye on the patient.
2 things at once? You make mistakes!
Excuse me, sir, but I disagree. Just look at you.
Oh? What do you mean?
I see a lot of decorations there
proving you've had a successful career.
I see Lilly pretty, intelligent, well-educated.
You clearly managed to do 2 things at once.
I drove an ambulance, too. in '59, in Algeria.
Eye on the road, eye on the machine gun!
See to the injured later if they're still alive!
Edmont? I'd like to see to my roast beef! Before it burns.
Affirmative! I'm starving! Forward!
Now, the endurance test: 3 hours of war stories!
I'll slip into neutral and cruise through!
-I hurt you? -Not at all.
Good. I heard your hip crack.
-It's mine! -Let's stop.
I don't want to hurt you but I'll be Ok.
I'm Ok now.
I could've massaged it for you.. but if you're Ok... fine!
The surface pain's gone,
but deep down, there's nagging pain, stiffness.
Maybe a little massage would ease it.
Ok, guys, a match to finish, for 5 minutes.
-Change partners? -No.
Go! I really don't want to hurt you.
I'm touched by your concern. Emilien.
Now I warn you. I started, aged 4. I can teach you a thing or two!
Your smile could melt a radiator! You put me off!
Real opponents don't smile! It's not fair!
Listen up, you sumos!
Meeting with the boss in 5 minutes!
What's up? You lost your lense?
I can see you well enough to kick your ass!
Just trying to help!
You done much judo?
No, only a couple of times. It's not my sport.
-So, what is? -Karate.
Far more effective!
Mine's ping pong. No good in fights, same principle:
Spirit of Rising Sun!
It's easy. "Con"... "consummate idiot" like Emilien!
Thanks! Then, "ninny" like...
Sorry, Petra. it's just an example.
And "a" as in "aaaa"!
Now, you. Con-nichon-a!
-What's it mean? -"It means "hello" in Japanese.
And don't forget it. In under an hour, in ol' Marseille,
We greet Japan's Defense Secretary
Mr Tefu... Temuchila...
Mr Tef... Tejus.. just call him Nip! The Nip's from Tokyo.
Before the Franco-Japanese summit after bastille Day in Paris
he's visiting our charming town. Know why?
-The climate? -The sights?
-Sure. -The food?
-The Pastis? -The soccer match!
You're a big bunch of nerds!
Our anti-gang training base!
The Japs have a problem with Jacuzzi... Yakuza
who are even kidnapping members of government.
The Defense Secretary visited England, Germany and France.
Let's get one thing clear:
the Krauts and Limeys mustn't win the contract.
Let's make this World Cup II!
I put together a detailed operation
which I will now explain. I called it ...
He's got no more ammo!
Suddenly... no more ammo!
Well, that's only natural.
Yeah, only natural.
I turn to Raymond. Here it is.
I shake him.
"Raymond, your ammo!" I say. No answer!
I shake him again. Then...
he falls sideways. Dead!
-Terrible! -My whole unit!
I'm alone. Armored car's on fire
radio's out... My flask's half-empty!
Oh, no! So, then what?
-I prayed! -Well done!
That's all I could do. Only a miracle'd save me!
A miracle! We're saved!
No! Now what? Get that, hon. I'm in battle!
Edmont, the red phone!
The red phone? Excuse me.
General Bertineau speaking.
It's you. Bertrand on the red phone?
Well done, Daniel. You'll get dessert!
My god! I completely forgot!
No problem! I'll be there! Catastrophe!
We'll wait. I'll be 1 hour!
-I want you right now. -Give me 20 seconds!
The airport, fast!
That's kind a long!
You OK? You hurt?
She won't go so good now!
In 15 minutes I'm to greet Japan's Defense Secretary.
Catastrophe! I'll get you there in time.
15 minutes. Impossible!
Try me, sir!
Seatbelt, please. Dad.
Is this your ambulance? No, a taxi.
My brother loaned it to me.
Save me some dessert. You can have seconds!
-Let's go. -Sure!
We're crawling 'cause of these tires but they'll soon warm up!
Don't overheat! Now look, kid.
This is the new
Cortex 500. The Rolls Royce of speed traps!
Turn it on. Instant read out.
Go to the roadside.
Put your arm out slightly.
You better learn on the old model.
-We're on the highway? -Now I can step on it!
You must like hospitals!
Chief! We got one!
I think it was a 406. And not factory-fresh!
306 km/h, moron! Tell the others!
A white taxi at 306 km/t, I repeat...
-306 km/h! -Yup, 306!
We'll get him!
You Ok, sir?
It's him! I must get there!
Change of tactics!
-What? This isn't it! -It's short cut!
I have a UFO on Runway 1!
Yield to aircraft. We have just landed. Outside temperature: 35 degrees.
We hope you enjoed flying with us!
Excuse me, Captain, a taxi's coming.
I can't hear over the noise!
I repeat: taxi approaching.
-I never ordered a taxi. Did you? -No, but I know him.
-14 minutes 30! -Great!
Bertineau, why the taxi?
We lost a car. This guy saved my life.
-What? What you said. - God help me.
Thank you for greeting me in japanese. Me, Gibert protect you during your vacation... uh, stay.
Our Secretary. Say hi... This is he.
Dear fellow! I'm honored to meet you.
I'm a member of your security team. We wish you...
a nice stay. You speak very well.
A little. If I can help in any way, just ask.
Pleased to meet you.
Only the blonde girl speaks Japanese.
I copy. Go back to base.
Let us offer a cocktail. This way.
-Does your file say you speak Japanese? -It was embarrassing.
-Yes, it does. Below my measurements. Guess I stopped there.
Do me a favor, son.
-See that taxi there? -I sure do!
A taxi? Love to, lady, but I'm busy. Another time?
-Always in the right place! -Know that guy?
Bertineau, head of the Med, Basin.
Lilly's dad! No shit!
-I was there for lunch. -Unbelievable!
-Yeah, I can't stand the army. -You couldn't stand cops.
I still can't. I can stand you!
Don't know what you're worrying about. Well, he seems to like you.
He wants you to come to the cocktail party. Half cops, half soldiers? That's nightmare!
Prefer half mechanics, gas station attendants? Come on.
The chat's the same: cars, sport, chicks!
-You'll fit in fine. -I'd be ashmed.
Listen... if Bertineau is Lilly's father
he could end up your father-in-law.
What will he think if you say no?
One drink, no more.
-"Martini"? -My sister's name!
Come on. One for the road won't hurt you!
The gateau is good. locally made. Next to the station.
Gibert. Excuse me. I'll get you another.
Don't get him too stewed to sign the contract.
No warries, I know what I'm doing. Just softening him up.
He is nearly done! Is your plan ready?
Sir, it's hearsed and rehearsed to death!
It's fine-tuned... to the second.
-You're not at all as I imagined. -No offense, but...
A bright 2nd-year medical student...
I thought you'd be more... Pimply?
Right... and a slower driver!
Yes, he's "fastest" doctor I know.
Well, I'm very grateful. Gratefully indebted to you!
Ask me anything... but Lilly's hand!
Course not! I can't think of anything else.
Valid 1 year, parts and labor!
-Excuse me, -Go ahead.
Emilien, start Operation Ninja.
-Petra, watch him. -Watch me?
Friends with the cops?
No, only with one.
Good! It's rare. Most youths are anti-cops
anti-army, anti-everithing! They want to kill the father figure.
Sir, my patients are waiting.
Wait! 5 more minutes. You'll find this very interesting .
-Selling the Japs Peugeot? -Nothing's impossible!
This is a Cobra.
Specially designed protect visiting dignitaries
The multiple side panels can resist any bullet!
Missile detectors, front and back! Coating: Phantom!
Solid tires! It's linked to the Atlas satellite
and if necessary, can piloted from HQ.
Now, the engine
Nice noise for a V12.
V12 engine, twin turbos. Voice-activated!
Top speed: 336 km/h!
Range: 880 km. Paris-Marseille
2 airbags in front, 2 in back, 4 at the sides.
8 in all for maximum protection.
Ladies and gentlemen: This car is like France:
Get him out! That's just 'cause we set it to ultra-sensitive.
It's usually on "normal"! Be careful!
See the balloons?
Useful against thieves!
Get him out! Hold on to his head.
Tell him not to worry.
He needs the bathroom.
-Bertrand, go with him. -Yes, sir.
Get him out? Good. It'll be good as new in no time.
Will he? Now who'll drive it?
I have a young civilian driver. He's very good.
I'll vouch for him.
Before your tour of the town I'll show you our latest computing innovation.
-Gimme that. -Wear this.
It'll cramp my style. Even a cretin with mitts on ...
could drive this baby! Take him away! No it's OK.
Told you! Never mind.
No one'll see. Go on! Ninja!
-How do you stop it? -You just have to say "Nip".
The mission is simple. We prepared a demonstration... Get it? With fake attacks!
Like the ghost train? Yes, so as to impress the Nip,
Above all, don't worry. Let things happen.
-If the Nip... -Ninja!
-Don't play while I'm talking. -Not me. You keep saying "Nip"!
-Great! -Not bad.
Sir, we shall now escort you to your hotel.
-Konichiwa! -Up shit creek again!
On this road. It's going planned.
Very good, Katano. Let me hear them.
Spring Roll come in.
Hey, Emilien, come in!
-Do you hear me? -Loud 'n' clear.
We just left. 1st trap. Be with you in 20 minutes.
OK. 20 minutes to warm up.
What about us? What can we do for 20 minutes?
I don't know.
Any ideas? Yeah, but 20 centimeters... minutes is too short!
Oh yeah? So, we need an idea, we could start now and finish later
Yes, that'd work!
But... I too... have an idea,
I'm sure... you'll really like it.
-Oh yeah? -It may be the same one.
That'd be marvelous! It'd be ideal! Go on, you first.
Make the most of these few quiet moments... to ...
It wasn't the same idea. Right
He won't see much of Marseille.
Sorry, he's suffering from jetlag.
May I ask... why your boss is here?
To sign very big contract and see anti-gang method.
-He'll sure see that! -You know method?
Sure I do! 1st, the suspect.
He is probably guilty. A foreigner is doubly suspect!
There's the guilty. Foreign, tanned suspect!
He's had it! If he's tanned he just sun-bathes and does nothing all day.
He is a suspect! So, he's guilty. Faultless logic!
-That boy any good? -Very good.
A doctor, friend of my daughter's.
Something tells me they're flirting.
Only natural at their age. Quite.
To make the guilty party confess they use questioning!
Simple! They apply trilogy like Star Wars.
Episode 1: Beat him up! Good, healthy exercise!
Episode 2: Tax'em to raise some cash for the Christmas!
Episode 3: drink copiously!
I'm pleased youngsters still respect our values.
-A good son-in-law. -Think so?
Many French gangs?
The most dangerous are the heavy mob. 100,000-strong!
Easy to spot. Wears a whistle. Always guzzling beer!
-Go toward the port. -My pleasure, chief.
-He sounds very polite. -Affirmative. Courteous, too.
Polite to your face... shaft you from behind!
Like in the souk. A big smile as they steal your cash!
But I've got my eye on him.
Tell me something.
I've not been in the police long but try me.
What means the word your captain uses: "Nip"? Any special meaning?
Why'd he stop? I said to beware! What's going on?
Just a simultaneous translation problem! Ninja!
Cut the crap. We're at the meeting point in... now.
-Don't worry! -General alert.
Shit! There's a missile pointing at me.
Missile? What missile?
Atlas real-time missile diversion. Unique! The Limeys won't get the ball!
Impressive, but where's it headed?
Don't worry. Somewhere far out at sea.
Shit, my boat!
The high point of our show.
Very good work, Gibert
Thank you, sir, I'm so pleased to be able to try out this equipment at last. I'm so pleased.
OK, the coast is clear.
-Impressive. -You get used to it.
A regular day in Marseille. I see.
Your moves are improving, but not accent.
Oh? Spring Roll!
Copy? Just fine. Did you make it... I mean, are you here?
1st attack completed. Be with you in 5. Ready?
Petra and I were checking a few things out.
Emilien, Gibert here. I'm counting in you.
You can count on me, Petra. I mean...
You can count on Petra!
Count on Petra!
-Dammit, I told you to warm up! -We're hot! Sure!
Gibert will kill you guys! Go warm up!
Just off to the little girls' room...
I'll go with you. You never know.
Can't you read?
It says "Green light"! Get a move on, you fag! Oh shit!
Now turn left. I repeat, left.
Yes, chief. I repeat, chief!
-He says you drive well. -I'm not moving!
It freaks me out not to hear the engine speak to me.
Putting in earplugs? Do I talk too much?
Nein! It's a miniature ear transmitter.
Brand new! I'm on Channel 1.
But how do we talk?
I know you French can't handle it.
but an order isn't to be discussed!
Yeah, but if you have a problem... what do I do?
Can you hear me?
1 bang means yes, 2 means no!
Mind if we keep chatting?
That's good, 'cause...
The closed door makes it easier to talk to you.
I don't dare to say things to your face.
You eyes trouble me. They're so...
-What's Spring Roll up to? -What?
It's in code. I just can't find the translation.
When your eyes look at me... wow! It's a 1st.
or I had my back turned.
-Part of method? -You bet! Daniel's method!
It's good to open my heart to you.
You don't mind too much?
-Should I go on, then? I don't get it!
Have you noticed that I'm much closer to you now?
Ok, Petra, I'll say something you may find shocking...
He'll screw up!
Well... since Day One. I've known...
I love you!
-Well played! -Told you!
There, I said it!
Now put me out of my misery: is it mutual? So...
1 bang: yes, 2 means no.
Change channels to talk dirty! We're working!
-Daniel? Left here, kid. -Yes, pops!
He's not one of us.
That's for sure. He's not one of us.
What're you playing at? Go on! Ninja!
Sorry to be so down: I smell a thing.
Smell trap? I don't smell a thing. Do you, sir?
Strange how those trucks are parked. just room for 1 car!
No, there's no trap. I checked the map. No trap here.
-Drive on! -If you say so.
I should know.
Well, I never! A trap!
What's he up to?
That's not on my list.
Glad it's not my taxi!
What happened? Where's the Nip?
Some Ninjas... came and the Secretary went...
What? He didn't fly away?
He did! At that speed he must be on his way to Mars!
Ask Atlas. It must've spotted him!
Complex town, huh?
Small streets! The jails are no bigger!
Lie down there! I'm a crack shot so no tricks!
You speak French?
Me warn you: me shoot! Spread out!
Is that how you wanna play it? All right!
Now where are they? They didn't fly away?
Where's Emilien? Emilien?
I reckon he's near the garbage.
I was this close to getting 'em, but I was outnumbered.
-They took the Secretary! -Which one?
The Nip, not ours. It's a disaster!
Yeah, and they got Petra, too.
Good. She speaks Japanese, so he'll be less alone.
Lilly, I'm coming. Your dad made me stay!
But it's been 2 hours. I'm hot all over.
-All over? -Yeah, all over!
I'll be on fire soon.
I'm coming. Watch a documentary it'll calm you down!
-I'll be 5 minutes. -Too long!
4 minutes! Emilien!
It's my fault for leaving her in the john!
-You should gone with her. -I thought of that. I did. But...
Finished scratching about yet? You've been scratching for over one hour. Find anything?
There were indeed cars here. 3 of them.
You read Sherlock Holmes to deduce that?
Don't you have any clues to get us started?
We'll analyze the tire samples at the lab. That'll tell us more.
They'll have time to swim back to Tokyo!
Thanks for everything, but I need my taxi, now.
What your convertible?
We're in shit! These clowns are shaving the road!
Please help us find a clue.
Look. Lilly's on fire. She might burn herself.
They got my girl. Give me 2 minutes of your time.
Take a look, then I'll handle it.
From below, I saw 3 black Mitsubishits.
But not sure what model. A new model.
Tires straight from Japan.
-How'd you know? -I smell it.
-A restaurant? -You got fish oil for brains?
Restaurants and... ports! They were at the port. So, they were in a boat from Japan!
That's why it smells of fish. See?
Now, are they stolen cars? Easy! Alain! I'm onto it.
OK, you put your tweezers down.
On Monday morning. You'll get a whistle and be put on traffic duty!
Nothing stolen from the port.
Bingo? What? It just means you were wrong.
Why wasn't the theft declared? Why?
'cause they use the warehouse as a base!
You can be real smart!
-General alert! -No, Emilien
That's always my line.
Tell me one more time.
Lilly, I'm on my way! You watching TV?
No, I stopped. There was a report on animal sex. I burned the rug!
-Lilly's worried. -Give me that.
Tell your mom it's OK but I need to commandeer your friend.
They need help. He did a great job. Good recruit.
He'll bring me home. You can say goodnight. Bye, hon.
C'mon, let's go. The mission's not over.
What's Gibert up to?
I dunno. He's been in the john for ages making weird noises. Really!
-What's up? -I can't tell you. It's... too horrible!
-They won't come, Emilien. -What?
I think this was their 1st base. They're gone.
Suspect approaching. Asian male.
They always return to the crime scene!
Police academy, lesson 1!
-Captain? -Suspects approaching front door.
Perfect! I'm ready for 'em!
Hey Marco, you sure about this?
What? It's the heist of the century!
There's a mountain of VCRs boxed and awaiting delivery!
They're about to break in.
-We got 'em! Emilien! -You break in to your home?
Sure. Oh, yeah? Well, no.
Uh-oh! Are you gonna... ? Chief.
I like to stay close to my men.
Some action won't hurt me. just like in the old days!
-It was long ago. -Memory is distant, Emilien ...
-but the reflexes still intact!
-Sure there's no cops? -Relax, admit! There's no one here!
They're all watching the game. Every cop's in front of a TV.
Ready to attack? Wait for my signal.
-You worry me. It's long way down. -It's OK.
-Tie the knot. I'll do the rest. -Uh-oh...
See? They're all at the match, like I said!
-Emilien? -OK, chief. -Banzai!
Someone being knifed?
not's all right... Yeah.
Emilien. Maybe the rope.
-You got wrong one. -You're right.
It's all my fault. I should never have left her or let him down.
Hey, that's enough. Crying over spilled milk!
It won't bring her back. Think! I am!
But we don't have a single lead to go on! Ask the right questions.
Why didn't the Yakuza kill him at once?
-They need him? -Why?
-Did they ask for a ransom? -No.
Why kidnap him here? Right.
They must have had a good reason. Why's he going to Paris?
To sign contracts. Security, trains, army, nuclear ...
There! Maybe they want to stop him.
Makes no sense. Why'd they do that?
He's right. Yuki Tsumoto wants to stop him.
I know you. Weren't you an air hostess before?
I'm here to protect the Secretary. I'm in counter-espionage.
Funny! I too am... Emilien, Marseille-Police.
-That's Daniel. -Intern. I'm learning to be stupid!
Clever! Who's this Yuki Tsumoto?
Yakuza. Controls the north. Powerful and conservative.
Refuses airplanes, trains, nuclear power...
France is keen to sell, he's taking steps. The Secretary won't sign nor will Japan ever again!
Tsumoto sent over 2 masters in hypnosis.
The Secretary, when the time is right ...
will shoot someone perphaps the President.
France will sever all diplomatics ties for years?
-We must free your friend and Secretary before 11. -We don't have much time left.
Sure. I better tell my boss. The cripple or Sleeping Beauty?
Oh, yeah. Listen... You both got someone to save.
As we're in a rush we better not disturb the powers that be.
No Nip will beat us! Pardon me! Where do we start?
First, can you find them in Paris?
-No way. -Easy! Child's play!
Thanks, Joe. You saved my life! See you soon, pal.
I've found them. They're hiding out in southern Paris.
Sure it's her? Uh, them!
3 black Mitsubishits with a blonde. OK?
OK, OK. Not much time left. To the airport! No plane for 3 hours.
We can't wait. We must get there right away! Think!
Get up! It's war!
-Men! -It's me, Daniel!
Daniel! The troops?
Wiped out! Just us to save the day. You're indebted to me.
-Affirmative! -I need your help.
Shit! What're they up to?
Cool, pall! Way to go!
I really hope you know what you're doing! 'Cause I don't!
-Got a better idea? -Right now? No.
Well, think fast!
-I got it! Let me out. -Too late!
-Are you cool? -You bet! Cool as ice!
Just shout, OK?
OK, I'm shouting! We lost a parachute!
There are 3. 1 or 2 always screw up! Oh right!
-Emilien. Got your license? -Yes.
-So, take over here. -C'mon, move!
-I'll steer us. -Where do I go?
-Straight ahead? OK! -OK! Whatever you say.
Come on, just relax. Be more zen.
That's good. Real good.
Oh, Lilly, you OK?
-Who's the warbler? -Air hostess. -Air hostess?
-No, a nurse! -You in a massage parlor?
No way, Lilly! We're in the sky. Your dad's guiding us.
Emilien steering. I'm fixing a parachute
-the nurse is singing to calm us down!
You smoke a tree?!?
Lilly, listen to me. I'm trying to save Petra and Japan's Secretary!
I'll call you when we land! Goddammit!
-You OK, hon? -Just fine!
What a doubter!
Try to turn left a bit.
Now, turn left. I repeat, left.
It's OK! Stay calm! Marseille Police! Move!
-You know them? -Yeah.
An old pupil. Well, I'll walk home.
-OK, Lionel. -Jacques.
-Mr Coutta. Hello there. -How are you?
-All set, Coutta? -Just Japan's Secretary to come.
I see her! God, she's lovely!
-I mean, she looks well. -The Secretary?
Fine. He's exercising.
we know where they are now.
-Maybe we should get'em back. -I've got an idea. But we must warn your friend.
-It won't be easy! What a jerk I am! -Really?
Are you ready to kill?
You hear me? Petra?
We're not far away.
Get up, and turn around!
Show me your hands.
-What's going on? -It's not me.
Sit down. We're coming.
-Easy to say! -I got a plan.
That's what worries me!
You here only what I tell you...
You obey me.
You do only what I tell you.
I wanna go home ...
You're going to sleep.
Raise your arms.
Con-nichon-a! Hey, it's my turn now! Come on!
I'm not bad at hypnosis!
Now lie down!
Very, very good! Now sleep!
Freeze or you'll sleep, too!
OK, I'll cover you.
Hey, girls, what're you doing?
No need. I had'em covered.
-It's not loaded. -What's that?
It was me. I emptied the clip yesterday.
So... it was never loaded?
So you wouldn't get hurt.
I'm late. Help me out!
It's OK, I'll manage.
-Jump in there! -Are you sure? -I don't wanna fall down!
Catch those clowns!
Fancy some sushi?
No exit, Daniel!
Nips closing in!
We'll get out here.
We're too heavy. They're good!
Ask your colleagues to help out.
Forget it. Paris Police hate us.
They will never help.
-You just never asked 'em politely! -What the... ?
You faggots not at the parade? Soldiers ain't your thing?
You'd rather stay home and gobble knobs?
How 'bout a love parade? Catch me if you can!
-You went a bit far! -Don't worry! They love it!
Catch him alive! I'll kill him myself!
Where are you?
Where is Trocadero?
Change at Chatelet!
Oh, the Eiffel Tower!
Off the grass!
-Straight on! -OK!
-There's one! -Get the taxi!
-Kamikaze! -Kami what?
I can't shake 'em! We're too heavy!
-I'll get out! -No, try again! -I can't.
-Call the General. -General!
Loud 'n' clear! How's your tour going?
He's gotta block the Dauphine tunnel. We'll trap 'em!
Give me 5 minutes.
-Bertineau here. -Sir!
-Got a spare tank or two? -Sure I have.
He better hurry up!
We're there. What's he up to?
OK, sir the tunnel is blocked.
-4 mins, 32. -Well done, sir!
-I don't wanna play! -You wanna get shot down?
I don't wanna hit a tank!
Daniel. I wanna spend time with Petra before I die!
Don't worry. I'm taking you to Heaven!
I wanna stay here on Earth!
-You scared me again! -Maybe one day you'll trust me!
You're wonderful. Be his driver in Japan.
Thanks, but right now, I just want to go home.
Yeah, we're going home. Want dropping off somewhere?
-Not the TV! -just five minutes
I want to see your father.
It looks like Daniel's taxi! It's great.
Well, that's brand new.
A... stealth taxi.
I'll drop you at the grandstand.
This place freaks me out.