Voila! Finally, the Taxi
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Jimmy
Fallon and Queen Latifah. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Taxi. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Check it out!
Thirteen minutes and 54seconds
That's a new record
Yeah!
Oh, my God What you gonna do
with the girl but love her and pay her?
Give me my money Give me my money
You still owe me money
Hey. Everybody,
shut the hell up for a second here.
As you know, today's
Belle's last day
Aw!
And I'll tell you this
You're the best man I've ever had
Aw
Aw, come on, now
Look, look
I just want you to know
I just stayed ahead of you
because I know you enjoyed
the view
The view
Anyway
we're all real proud of you
for finally getting your taxi license
Knowing that you're behind
the wheel of a taxi in our fair city
makes us want to move
to Albany
Listen, I seen these sparkle in a window,
and I knew they had your name on them
Come on I thought they'd be perfect for you
Check it out You're gonna love 'em
- Oh, wow
- This is you, girl
- Oh, my God
- Ah? Ah?
- It's a titanium supercharger!
- Yeah!
- Oh, my God.
- That's gonna be some taxi, Belle
- It's just my size too!
- That's right, Belle
Please don't leave us
Don't leave us
All right Time's up, man Come on Get your
hands off my girlfriend Get off me, man
- Hey, baby
- Hey, baby
Oooh!
- Shut up! None of your business
- Back to work. Let's go. Everybody.
I could have got the package there
with a horse and buggy Back to work
- What you doin' here?
- I called in a favor They let me
take the rest of the day off
- All right
- Wait a minute
- Wait a minute Who you wearin' perfume for?
- What?
Oh, no, no, no, no
No, I cut through Macy's I got tagged
- Uh-huh
- Why, you like it? Is it me?
Look, let me tell you
something, baby
- There's only one thing I like on you
- What's that?
- And that's me
- Mmm
- And I got you a little somethin'
for your last day too
- What?
Hold on now You'll find out tonight
After a mind-blowing romantic dinner
Date
And excit...
Ah, hell, no, B
Don't tell me you forgot
What? No? Of course not
No I didn't forget I can't wait, baby
I know it may not be as exciting
as that titanium thing you got
- My supercharger You saw it?
- Yeah Whatever, babyJust trust me All right?
I just got
a : appointment
at the Taxi and Limousine Commission
to pick up my hack license
I'll be out of there by . .
And then I'm all yours.
- B
- Aw
B B
- Yeah?
- : was five minutes ago
Oh, shoot!
- Yeah
- All right Love you, baby Later, guys!
- Hey, lady! Come on!
- I got an appointment!
- No, no, no No cut
- I got an appointment
- Is everybody here with appointment, okay?
- What?
We take number like bakery
Please go to the back
I do not come here from Moscow
years for no bullshit
Right here Ticket
Right there Ticket
Mm-hmm
?
Man
Aw, he bought candles.
Mmm, mmm, mmm
I'll make it up to you, baby.
Oh! Hey! What the hell
is your problem?
- Come on Let's go
- What is wrong with you, man?
Cabbie, I need to get to
JFK in minutes
One hundred bucks,
I make it
Whoo! Done
You jumped in
the right cab today
Yeah
I don't usually stop for white guys
My way of balancing the universe
That's minutes
Buckle up for safety,
motherfu...
Actually, if I miss this flight,
it wouldn't be the end of the world
Oh, no Don't worry We'll be able to speed up
once we hit the highway
Come on, man
What'd I do?
Hey, look here, Hugo Boss
You might want to hold on
Nine minute, seconds
Damn, I'm good
You know... Damn
I'm good I am good
Don't you scratch them,
you idiot
Where's Frank, man?
Where's your friend at, man?
Where's Frank, man?
Where's your friend at, man?
He'll be here
It's all right
Where is this guy?
He'll be here.
This is the guy?
Yeah, that's him
Okay Let's do this
- It's cool, right?
- Right It's cool
Come on
They're in
It's no trouble,
Frankie
You're going to fifth floor,
number Okay?
A-And don't try nothin'
This is an easy bust, Washburn
Don't do anything fancy
We clear?
Yeah Nothing fancy
That's cool
Stick to the plan
- It's okay It's good
- Got the money?
No, no. Wait, wait, wait.
I don't like it, okay?
You said these guys
are from Cuba like us.
- Tranquilo, chico.
- What's the matter?
- I'm not speaking to you, okay?
You're not from Cuba, okay?
- No, no, no
Forget it Forget it Okay? You know what?
I don't like this Okay, man? No
- He don't like it
- I don't like it Okay, "mang"? I don't like it
You don't like it?
Oh, do you no speak English?
I don't like it
Read my lips. I smell something.
What do I smell, huh?
Read my lips. I smell something.
What do I smell, huh?
Huh? What do I smell?
Huh? I smell a setup
What am I smelling here?
Huh? What do I smell?
Carnitas? Amigo? Pig!
Ah Okay, "mang"?
- Don't do this Don't do this
- Okay?
You telling me
that you don't trust me?
That's what you're saying?
I'm only gonna
say this once, okay?
Your friend better come out
from behind that door Okay?
Or I'm gonna put
a window... in him...
"mang"
Yeah
Okay?
You're okay, man
You're okay
- What part of Cuba are you from?
- Huh?
- What part of Cuba are you from?
- Havana
- Havana?
- Oh!
- We're from Havana!
- Ah! Cigar!
Oh, I love this guy.
The three of us from there.
We must be brothers, eh? Who's your mother?
- I'll tell you something You guys are ever... Hey
- That's enough
- You guys are ever in Havana, you give me a call
- Let's go.
We'll have some tequila, cerveza You know?
Okay? Mi casco es su casco.
He funny.
What part? What part?
- Uh, you ask me where I'm from?
- Yeah What part?
- What part am I from?
- Yep
- Uh, what part of Havana?
- Yeah.
You know, on the...
Uh, I live around the corner of, uh
uh, Castro Street
You know?
So
The show's over, pigs!
Aaah!
- Frank, are you all right?
- Goddamn it, Washburn!
How could there not be a Castro Street in Cuba?
That's insane
- Shut up, Washburn
- Right? Am I right?
Vàmonos! Vàmonos!
Hey! Stop!
They're gettin' away!
Come on Let's go
- You can't drive with your arm like that
Give me the keys
- No way
- Come on!
- No, I insist
Give me the keys!
Okay
- Be careful, huh?
- Okay All right
Put my seat belt on
Get my hands at : and :
Okay, let's move the seat
- Okay Okay
- Seat up Like that That's too close
- Okay Come on
- Back more Back more Back more Back more
Back Little back
Back more
That's good All right We'll have mirrors checked
and seat back Can see side
- Washburn, m-maybe...
- Ah!
I got it, dude! I got it, man
Hand signal 'cause I'm comin' out
- I'm comin' out
- They're there Go! Go!
Here we go All right Let's go
Rock and roll, dude!
Washburn!
That's funny
Get in here now
I'm s... I'm sorry, Marta
Lieutenant
I'm sorry, Lieutenant
Andy
I know this is hard for you,
especially coming from me
It kind of feels weird
calling you lieutenant
Well, you may not have to much longer
I mean, look at this
$ in damages, Andy
This is two lawsuits here
l...
And this Have you seen
your face on the cover?
- Oh, there's a better picture than that
- Oh, shut up.
L... I'm sorry, Andy
But this is just not easy for me
Look, you're a good cop,
but you're a terrible driver What is it with you?
Hey... Everyone has
their weaknesses, okay?
Superman has Kryptonite.
Indiana Jones, snakes.
You know Whitney Houston
has Bobby Brown
Or vice versa
l... I try to make the department look good,
try to make you look good
You look great,
by the way
I'm not saying you don't
You're not like...
- You look... Ah!
- Right. Okay. Good. Enough.
- You look like a lieutenant
- Shh
- Beautiful You're hot
- Shh
- Professional
- Three cars you totaled
Cop or no cop, that is points on your license
It's gone
- No, don't take my license, please
- It's gone
Come on Don't...
You're not gonna need it
for your next assignment
I'm sorry, baby,
but that line at the T.L.C. Was ridiculous.
- I cooked for hours
- Come on Look, look All right
Had wine, satin sheets
I even bought candles
Do you realize what I had to go through
to get that license?
- I won't be late
- Yeah, well, you better not be
'Cause today I pulled out
all the stops
Baby, I promise
I promise I won't For real
. . At the restaurant.
All units, robbery in progress.
Manhattan Savings and Loan. Thirty-six
and Broadway. Suspects armed and dangerous.
Freeze! Police officer!
I'm gonna need your car for official...
I love you too Bye
Hi Thirty-six and Broadway
Manhattan Savings and Loan And step on it
- You know that's only two blocks...
- Yeah Step on it Thank you
Okay
Okay, that'll be
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, I'm not beat, man.
Now you owe me five
because I had to chase...
Get out of the way!
Freeze!
- You! We got a hot pursuit Go
- Do what?
- You still owe me five bucks
- Maybe I didn't make myself clear.
I'm commandeering your vehicle
Follow that car
Don't worry about speed limits,
streetlights... nothin' You're with me
Don't worry about speed limits,
streetlights... nothin' You're with me
Man
All right
But I'm still runnin' this meter
Yo!
Hold this for me
Hang on
Whoa! Yo, man
Be careful with that
Careful don't bag the bad guys
Here's the plan
Fake like you're gonna go left,
then go right Okay?
I'll lay a little suppressing fire down
from "pistolita" Hey
- Oh, my goodness Did you just...
- Drive!
Drive the car Drive Don't look at me
Look at the road
Come on
Oh, what the... Oh, come on now
Ah... Ah...
- Come on
- What the hell are you doing?
Gotta get...
Watch it. You... The steering wheel.
Ah... Oh
What the... Oh
- Hey, why'd you stop?
- Hey, man Watch that thing
It's a dead end
They ain't goin' nowhere
- All right Let's do this thing, baby Get my burn on
- You talking to me or your gun?
You better not be talking to me
I know you ain't talking to me
- Shot my...
- There's nowhere to run
Damn
Oh!
Damn
Damn
I know They got away
Damn!
- You shot my taxi
- You calm down now, ma'am
- Calm down, all right No need to get upset
- No need to get upset?
- Yeah
- What? Are you outta your freakin' mind?
- Hey!
- Fool, I've been working on this car for five years
- Who is gonna pay for that?
- Hey See this?
This is a badge, okay? That means
you're not allowed to scream at me
Come on, now Give me the badge
Hey
Come on Give it back
Come on now Give me it! Give me it!
- Hand it over, cabbie
- Man, we cool.
- Nice and easy
- All right, man Damn Be cool
Be cool, huh? I had to flip and pull this
out of my ankle holster
- Now, give me that and shush
- Okay Be cool
- Shh
- All right
- Shh
- Here Take your badge
- Mm-hmm Yeah Okay, now what?
- Uh...
How you like it being pointed at you?
I'm not givin' nothin' back
Quick Gimme, gimme
Gimme it
- Drop your weapon and put your hands in the air
- Ooh
- Freeze!
- It's okay I'm a police officer
- Okay, slowly show me your badge
- Uh, okay
- Give me the badge
- No
- Give me the badge
- No
Throw it over here
Oh
I can't
She's got it
- Freeze!
- Wai-Wait
I said freeze scum... Washburn Washburn
He's such a loser.
Is he in there?
Washburn
Washburn You took a cab
to a bank robbery?
- You-You thought that was okay?
- Well, y-yeah
Yeah I was the closest
to the scene
If you hadn't of taken my wheels,
I would've nailed 'em
I didn't take your wheels
You drove your wheels through a bodega
and you killed
Detective Manuel's parrot
Det Manuel knew what he was risking
when he took the parrot on the stakeout
- I can't believe you
- So ridiculous
Of all pets, I mean It's the one that talks
- What is that smell?
- L-I know I let you down
- Mm-hmm
- So, see what's happening?
- Mm-mmm
- You're getting emotional
and taking it way too personally
- Personally?
- Yeah
I'm your lieutenant
Of course I'm pissed off
Come on, Marta
That's not what I'm talking about
You know what I'm talking about here
I'm talking about... us
- Us
- What?
- Us I'm talking about us
- You think
- Shh
- that I and you...
I got it Got that
I'm with you
What? Mm-hmm
Okay Thank you
I'll be right there
The FBI's here
I'm gonna do something
to you later
Mm-hmm
Washburn
So, did you pay by the mile, or is there a flat rate
for chasing bank robbers?
Quiet.
Quiet.
Quiet
Please give your attention to Agent Mullins
FBI Armed Robbery Unit
Thank you It's tape of this morning's robbery
Watch close
It goes by pretty fast
Four cameras
Four perfect shots
In and out in seconds.
Lieutenant, you have the witnesses'statements.
Miss Williams,
I'm Lieutenant Robbins
This is Agent Mullins with the FBI
We want to ask you a few questions
- Am I under arrest?
- Well, no
Then I ain't answering no questions
until somebody tells me
who is paying for the damage on my cab
and when do I get it back?
Miss Williams, I'm afraid your vehicle's
physical evidence now
- We have to run ballistics tests...
- Ballistics tests? On what?
We already know
who shot my cab
It was that stupid idiot right there
with that dumb look on his face
That's not fair
Agent Mullins wasn't even on the scene
- I was talkin' about you
- Me?
You shot my back window out
You could've shot me
- You don't talk to me like that
- I'll talk however I want
- Get him out.
- Take his stinkin' ass out of here
- All right, all right I'm sorry
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm sorry
- That is the FBI in there You need to calm down
Somebody better talk to him.
Sorry 'bout that, dude, um, sir
The adrenaline's still pumping
You know what I'm saying?
Had a crazy morning
I'm a little out of line,
and I apologize
Detective Washburn,
you were the first one on the scene, correct?
Yes, I was
I was the first one on the scene
My first instinct is to give you a shot
at leading this investigation
- However, I spoke with your lieutenant
You're off the case
- Permanently
- What?
Nice meeting you
I know
Y... Marta, you can't...
Lieutenant
- You can't...
- Enough
Now, go clock in
You're late for your shift
I already told you everything I know
You can't hold me.
Now, I want my cab.
- Says here you did a year in juvenile hall
- That's supposed to be sealed
Joyriding Graduated to reckless driving,
fleeing the scene of an accident...
look at this... moving violation,
moving violation, moving violation
- Come on Everybody got a few tickets
- Not
And not on a bicycle,
Miss Williams
Officers at the front desk will give you
the forms you need to fill out.
As far as your car's concerned, you'll get that back
when we're done Two weeks, maybe longer
Two weeks? Come on, man
This is bullshit
That's notjust my car.
That is myjob.
Wh-What am I supposed to do?
Give people piggyback rides to Newark Airport?
One more question
Did you ever get close enough
to see the guy driving the car?
No, sir
All I saw was their taillights
Can I go now?
- Here we go again.
Didn't I say . ? Where are you?
- Jesse.
I feel like a damn fool, B,
thinking you'd actually be here on time
- I tried
- No, no, no No I'm tired of hearing excuses, okay?
I'm sittin' in my cab, right?
All of a sudden out of nowhere, this guy jumps...
Hello? Baby?
Jesse?
What the hell
could be so damn important?
- Freakin' day I had
- Hey Miss Williams
- You again
- Hey, hey, hey
- Go ahead Talk
- I just wanna talk
- Talk then
- I can get you your cab back
Come on
Come on
You gotta help me first
Okay? Just hear me out
They got five detectives on this case.
We gotta catch these guys first.
All I got to go on is
the MO, modus operandi
- That's police jargon for...
- I know what it means
- It's not police jargon It's Latin
- Right Whatever It's both
They were pretty quick though
They were in and out in, like, under a minute
That's real pros Witnesses
said they're either Spanish or Italian
Nah, I think they're Brazilian
They were speaking Portuguese
- You sure?
- Confia em mim.
My first job was delivering food at...
Brazilian
This is huge
Hey, why are we not
doing this at the station?
Sometimes a good cop's got to bend the rules
so that laws don't get broken
You know what I'm saying?
I'm not afraid to live outside the law.
You living outside of your mind
That's where you live
Well, the reports here say
that the man driving was about ' "
No No, no, no, no
If that was a man, so am I
She looked like a model
Tan, blondish hair
All right As I was saying
It was a woman driving
- and she was driving a Mercedes... an Au...
- No
- Mm-mmm No, no, no
- She was driving... Definitely you saw her driving
- a BMW?
- Right
- Yeah, but not just a BMW It was a
- Mm-hmm
- But the engine sounded lighter
- Light, yeah
Now, with that much torque, she had to have
an inboard torsion damper system
with a push rod bell crank
and double wishbone arrangement.
Wait a minute
You shot her tire out, didn't you?
Yeah Standard OP
- That's police jargon for...
- But she kept on going
'cause she had run flats
Yeah, that's what I thought
She had "runs" flats on
Armored tires They seal themselves
with a gel when they're punctured
Now, they're good,
but they only go for about miles
So, if she wants to drive that car again,
she's gonna have to get a new tire
And there's only one place to get that tire
around here Lou's Garage in Secaucus
- What are we waiting for? Let's hit it Take my ride
- All right
There's my baby, right there
- This is your unmarked car?
- We found her
A Daewoo? Man, I know people
I can't be seen in this thing
Tsk Open the door
I don't wanna get Daewoo on my hands
Buckle up for safety, everybody
Hard to do it with my holster on
Okay, we're good
Good, wipers work
: and :
Mirrors work
And here we go
Oh, damn
- Whoa! Sheesh, man
- Little ding Little ding
- That's why you got bumpers
- Can't you... What the hell?
- You trying to kill me?
- I'm not a perfect driving robot
- I know Oh! What are you doing?
- Here comes Junior
- Here comes Junior
- You can't... Oh, shit! Wait! Stop Stop Stop
What the hell are you trying to do,
a -point turn?
- Can you get us out of this spot?
- Yes
Everyone just chill out
Be real cool about it
Everyone just chill out
Be real cool about it
God... damn!
Now, I'm turning the wheel
Turning the wheel
- Oh, my God! Wait Wait
- Shh Everyone be cool
No Stop
What? What? What do you...
What do you want?
- What's the problem here?
- Get over there
- I got... I got shotgun
- Get your ass over there
You got insurance?
'Cause that's what I'm gonna need
Daggone whiplash
You got a driver's license?
Let me get my belt on
Who the hell gave you a driver's license?
That's what I wanna know
Okay, after I show you this place,
I'm gonna get my cab back?
- Deal.
- 'Cause I don't really trust you.
Soon as I know this is the place,
we'll go back to the station, I'll get your cab back.
- This is it?
- Yep
If they gettin' that car fixed,
they-they gotta come here
- So, what now?
- We wait
You can open your eyes now
I'm done
You didn't see my nads, did you?
Man
So, you got guy problems, huh?
Overheard you and your man on the phone
Want a little bit
of wisdom from the man side?
I'll give it to you
Men are like cats, you know?
Sure, we'll play with
the ball of yarn
unless you want us
to play with the ball of yarn
Trick is,
hide the ball of yarn
Don't hide it where you can't find it,
you know?
"Hey, what's the ball of yarn
doin' in the fridge?"
Whatever
You know what I'm saying?
You know, cops are supposed
to talk to each other on stakeouts
It helps the mission
go by faster
- Would you please shut up?
- Okay That's cool
You wanna be quiet? That's cool
No room for chitchat That's fine
I don't care I don't need...
I don't need to talk
We'll just sit here
in silence
So, are you into cars, or...
I mean, what got you into cars?
I mean, were you always into them?
Did you just, like, stumble upon them?
Damn My grandpa
- Okay?
- Yeah
W-What?
He loved driving, or...
Yeah He was a mechanic
Taught me everything I know
We used to live
next to a track
You used to go to the track all day?
That's fun
No We didn't really go that much
I mean, we went to a couple races
But mostly, we would just listen
to the races together
I could hear those cars.
Hear those engines.
I got good
l-I got to the point where
I could tell who won the race
without even seeing it
- Yeah. Driving NASCAR. That's my dream.
- Wow
Wait. Let me ask you something.
Why would you take a taxi to a bank robbery?
I mean,
I've never seen that
I got in a wreck in my last gig
Bad guys got away
My lieutenant flipped out
Put me back on the beat
No vehicle
Aw, man
What makes it worse,
me and my lieutenant used to date
- Yeah We went to Academy together
- Okay
She got promoted
I didn't
You can cut the sexual tension
with a knife
Shh! Look
There they are.
Oh, man Yep
That's her
That's her.
- Party time
- Hey So-So, what we gonna do now?
- I mean, we gonna call it in, right?
- Call it in?
By the time we get backup, that soup will be cold
We go in now, baby Now
Shoot Oh, my God
Daewoo, please. I'm sorry.
I take back everything I said. Start for me.
Hi Um, I'm not actually with him
He's...
- You okay?
- Yeah
Damn
- What are they saying?
- The redhead is saying
she doesn't wanna kill a cop
If we just play it cool,
then they'll leave us here tied up
Okay Okay I'll play it cool
Play it real cool
Okay Hey,
what was that wink for?
- Shh Hey, trust me
- No, no, no, no, no, man What was that about?
- Shh Trust me Trust me
- Trust you?
- Yeah
- Trust you? Hell no Uh-uh No way
No, no, no Uh-uh
Hey Excuse me
- Excuse me
Excuse me Hey Excuse me
Don't mean to interrupt
He's gonna do something
He just winked at me
- What's wrong with you?
- What's wrong with me?
- Yeah
- I got a problem gettin' shot Did you frisk him?
- Come on.
- Frisk his ass again
He got at least one more gun on him
- Cavity-search him
- I do not I swear
He got a gun, and he's gonna use it
He's crazy
- Whose side are you on?
- Mine
Okay You wanna strip search? Huh?
Is that what you want? Nothing up my sleeve here
You wanna check my shoes there?
Ha!
Go!
All right,
you're all under...
Man, you're more dangerous
than they are
Hey What are you doing, man?
I'm evening
the playing field
I'm evening
the playing field
That's flammable gas They won't be able to shoot
This whole place will blow
Man, we still
in this place, you jackass
Turn that off,
and let's wait for the cops to come
The real cops
Oh, my G...
- Oh
- Aw, man.
You smell that, ladies?
That's nitrous One shot and boom!
Now, you wanna handle this
hand to hand, man to... chick?
Then we'll go home.
Hello. Hello?
Ace Dumbtura, they're gone
They're gone
Stay down. Stay down.
They're not there.
- Come on We gotta go
- Oh, damn
This thing's jammed
- Oh, man
- Ohh
Dumb ass
You can't... You can't die
from nitrous oxide can you?
It's laughing gas, stupid
I hate you, man
- What's that?
- I hate your freakin' guts
- Ow
- You got to be the dumbest cop I've met
- We gotta go We gotta get out
- Okay.
- We gotta get out
- All right Okay Open the door
Open the door, man
Move
You're stupid All you had to do
was turn the freakin' knob
Your car is on fire
- No Come on
- Daewoo can't take a little heat?
Drop the weapon!
- Freeze!
- Oh
Okay. This does not look good.
Here's the plan, all right?
Okay, when he comes by...
Or that Hey! Hey!
Wait for me! Belle! Belle, wait up!
They've gone around the back side
of this building. We need to go.
I tell you what we do.
We go back to the station and search the files...
No, no... No Hell no
We ain't goin' nowhere
You're comin' back to my house
with me to tell my boyfriend where I was
'Cause I had a man
when I went to work today
Okay That's the least
I can do
Damn straight The most you could do
would be to get my cab back
You'll get your cab back
when I catch these guys... girls, women
Not before
I'm getting a little seasick
Swallowed it
I don't know if this is gonna work,
so just hurry up and show him your badge, okay?
Because he's sensitive,
and he is pissed off
All right. I got your back right here.
I owe you one.
What the hell?
Jesse Baby, you home?
- Wait I can explain I was with this guy all night
- Oh, really?
Then go home with him, Belle
I'm tired of hearing your apologies
First of all, don't take that tone with me
I ain't apologizing
Don't you be taking that tone
I've been waiting here all night
Hey, hey, hey I got this
I can handle this All right?
I can totally handle this
What's up, bro? How you doin', man?
Yeah
Here's the dilly, yo I know it seems weird
your girl hanging out
with the skinny,
pretty good-looking white dude
But, hey,
I'm a cop
The name's Detective Washburn
- At least let me explain
- Oh, no Not again
He's gonna give it back, right?
What's that sound?
Blowtorch
Blo-Blo... Blowtorch
Hey, Jesse
Thank you
Can I have my...
- At least let me explain
- Ow Man
Damn!
Man
- Always wanted a money clip
- What the hell was that?
- It was my badge
- You know what? Fine
Forget it
I'm just gonna let him cool off
- Hey, wait up
- I don't know you for seven hours, I lose my cab
my boyfriend
and my apartment
- You battin' a thousand, you know?
- Yeah
I mean, it's not enough you screw up
your own life, huh? This your place?
No I figured we'd stop here,
get something to eat
No I figured we'd stop here,
get something to eat
You actually have a girlfriend?
Ma!
- Ma
- Sweetheart
I love you I love you I love you
Ma, I brought company
- Oh.
- Hi
Nice catch
Jungle fever
- You know me
- Excuse me.
I'm not his girlfriend
I ain't even his friend
Mom, uh, Belle here
is a cabdriver
and she witnessed a bank robbery...
- She needs a place to stay
- Get in here! Come in
Come in
Oh, you must be starving
I have got the number of a joint
that makes
a General Tso's chicken...
It'll knock you
on your goddamn ass.
- Whoo!
- Your mom's drunk, huh?
Always
Where's my Daewoo?
Andy...
- did you do something to my car?
- Don't
- You busted
- Andy
Look at me, darling You didn't drive through
another bodega, did you?
- That was you?
- What? What?
That was you
on the cover of the post.
- You killed that parrot
- No
Mom, what'd I tell you about
talking official police business, all right?
- Sorry
- He had the mustache
I didn't recognize you at first
See...
They took his license away
There was the third car that he totaled
He even wrecked
one of those big armored machines,
you know, with the battering ram?
Who the hell gave him
one of those?
He just mowed down three mailboxes like that
That's a federal offense
- Mom
- Well, Andy is not a really strong driver
See, he had a really bad
experience when, uh...
he had his first
driving lesson
Driving lesson?
You call that a driving lesson?
- Mmm Yes
- Dad let go of the wheel and said
"You better steer or else
you're going to kill the whole family"
Yeah It was good for you
- We were going I was six
- That's right
- And that's the way he taught you to swim
- I can't swim either
- Well...
- Can we drop it?
- Okay Sure
- Okay, Mom Lock it
Down your...
Down your brassiere it goes
Oh Mommy's getting
the spins
Whoo. That's it for me.
- That's it
- That's it for the kid.
Why don't you...
Take good care of this little girl
- Daddy will be so proud of you
- Mommy Thank you Come on
- Good night, sweetheart
- Good night, Mom
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, nice to meet you too
- Yes Yes
- Oh, she'll be back
- Where's my-my drink?
- There it is
Don't forget that.
Mom, the bedroom's that way.
- Okay, sweetheart
- Or are you just getting the blender?
- Oh, yeah
- That's a... That's a -ounce blender
You know, it is
getting late
Do you wanna just crash at my place
until your dude cools off?
Like I have a choice
Tsk Stop playing
You live next door to your moms?
Makes her feel safe
She must not've
seen you in action, huh?
She must not've
seen you in action, huh?
Oh, God, it feels good to lay down.
Good night
Good night
What kind of grown-ass man
lives feet away from his mama?
I wouldn't talk so much
Isabelle "Precious" Williams
- Who told you about my name?
- It's in your record
Precious
My Precious
Go ahead Say it again
Say it again, see what happens I dare you
Precious
Hey, you know, I was just thinking
I remembered something
The girls kept saying over and over again
to each other, "Nice 'dua rateeraros."
Mais duas retiradas?
Yeah That's what they said
That means,
"Two more withdrawals"
I want five cars on th and Broadway waitin',
and I want 'em now
- Hey, I've made a major break...
- Get out
- I made a major break in the case
- Oh, really?
Does that explain why they found a car
registered to your mom
- on fire in front of a shot-up...
- That's not important right now
- What's important is
they're gonna rob another bank
- First Financial
at Leonard and Church and they hit
two minutes ago and they're still inside
So, I am busy
Now, sit down and shut up
Damn, man
Car - . Suspects are still in the bank.
- How would you like me to proceed? Over.
- Backup units are on their way
- Do not let them leave.
- I don't think that's sexual tension
between you two
I think that is genuine tension
Like, she-gonna-fire-your-ass tension
I can't stand this
You know what's gonna happen?
They're gonna catch them,
and we're gonna miss the whole thing
- Please Ain't no cop gonna catch that woman
- Oh, yeah, and you can, right?
If I had my taxi
Right away.
And keep me informed.
Let's take a walk
Find Washburn Now
Eddie B
"Washtub"
Hey, uh, I'm gonna need your help, man
I gotta get the...
- The Crown Vic
- Crown Vic
Here All I need are the signatures
of the two officers, man
Two Perfect One, two
You know Lieutenant Williams, right?
- Uh...
- Williams from SWAT?
- Oh Oh
- She's a jujitsu master
Really?
She has her own dojo
- Oh Wow
- You have any flyers?
No Sure don't
- Okay
- Oh, man
You gotta Friendster me, man
I want a flyer
- Hey, man Got the, uh...
- Here you go
Aha Thanks, man
Hold it right there.
Shots fired Shots fired!
Officer needs assistance
Suspects are headed north on Third Avenue
towards the Queensboro Bridge.
What?
What are you doin'? We're gonna lose her
Come on Run lights
- What are you doin'?
- Why would you take the East Side?
The Queensboro would be
a parking lot
Oh, you bein' slick
You headin' west
You're drivin'the speed limit, okay?
You're driving the speed limit.
- We're not gonna catch...
- Oh, you think you slick, don't you?
You know th'll be gridlocked
'cause Hunter College's semesterjust started.
Unless you gonna drive
through the damn school.
Of course She gonna take Fifth
Hell, yeah
There's plenty of room to maneuver
down the Museum Mile...
and I know your crazy ass ain't scared
to get up on that sidewalk
That's what I would do
Now, if I'm right...
which I believe
I am...
she gonna come out
right
about here!
Oh!
Ooh!
- Ooh!
- Come on Let's go! Get her!
I told you... too much torque, grandma!
Watch this
Whoo!
Pull over! Police!
Pull over the car!
Pull over right now!
- What?
- My badge
Now, pull over
This means something
It's your last chance.
Come on.
Okay You tryin' to dent me?
Not gonna happen
Damn
Whoa!
We're gonna kaboom...
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Ha-ha!
Whoo!
- Oh...
- Shit
Ah!
Aw
Damn I was
on her ass too
Let me just...
No B.M. W.'s have come through here.
A red BMW
cannot disappear twice
Uh, I got a blue Beemer
on Morningside Avenue
Good I'll take it
Uh...
License and registration?
I'm gonna need you
to pop the trunk for me
I gotta open it myself
It's busted
Shit
Uh, pardon me, miss
Thank you
Uh, could you open the case?
Sure
Here
You ladies have a nice day
Miss Williams, give me your license
I'm taking it away from you
- What?
- You heard me
You're not driving
a taxi again Let's go
But I made her
pursue that car
- Really?
- Hello?
Well, her taxicab is in
violation of vehicle codes
Did you make her do that too?
Yeah
Yeah, I did
- I, uh, ordered the modifications top to bottom
- Top to bottom
- Weeks ago
- Mmm
So there
What kind of car is it?
- Ford
- Ford What model?
Crown... Crown... Vic...
- Ner-r-rvous...
- Excuse me?
"Roundville"
You're an idiot
Give me... Give me the license
- Crown Victoria
- I don't know what that means
Come on
- Give...
- Well, but, see, it looks... It's the picture...
- It's actually a nice...
- Marta...
- "Lieutenant"
- All she's tryin' to do is help, okay?
Just do something?
- No
- I stopped three BMW's this morning
Let's take Miss Williams down so she can hear
the officer's testimony Let's go
Let's go
- Let's go
- Blue Beemer.
- This chick didn't even know
how to open the trunk
- Chick?
- What chick?
- The driver
Boy, she was a foxy little...
- Four women, and there was no money
in the car. I searched it.
- It's definitely possible
- There's all kinds of paint...
- What are you two talking about?
Of course It's a red BMW
You might as well drive a ice cream truck
Of course It's a red BMW
You might as well drive a ice cream truck
The girls drove a BMW,
so that's what we look for Then they change it
Wait a minute You're saying that
all four robbers are women?
- Yeah
- And you saw them?
Yeah
Last night
Damn it! When exactly were you gonna share
this information with the FBI, Washburn?
- I tried to tell... I tried to tell you this morn...
- Shut up
Officer Preston,
come with me Let's go
You're fired You're not suspended
You're not on temporary leave
You're fired
Miss Williams, I'm giving this back to you
with a warning.
If I catch you driving that thing
in my city again, it is mine
Andy, as a friend,
I'm sorry
- I tried this morning I went into...
- Shh Andy
You've left me no choice
Now, give me your badge
What...
Whew
Hey, wanna share a cab?
- Yeah
- Okay
Turn over
What? What? What?
- All I ever wanted to do
was just be a cop, you know?
I wanted to be like my dad, you know?
My dad was a cop
You know, I let him down
I let you down You're screwed
You can't drive this anymore
She did not say that
She said not to let the cops catch me
I can see why you like
that lieutenant She feisty
You like us feisty girls,
don't you?
So what's up?
You gonna give that another shot?
Give it another shot?
She fired me
So? Redeem yourself
Catch these thieves
Try and start this
for me, please
Come on, baby Come on
Come on That's... Yeah! Life!
Woo-hoo-hoo
Wanna take it for a spin?
- Oh, no-no-no No, I'm... No, thanks
- Come on You need the practice
No I drive fine, and I don't wanna...
I'm not in the mood for a driving lesson
Who said anything
about a drivin' lesson?
It's just me in the passenger seat
and you drivin'
It's not a driving lesson?
Okay All right All right,
buckle up your safety belts, kids
- All right
- Here comes Washburn
Just a...
Just a leisurely stroll through the evening
And here we go
Whoa, engine's started My bad Uh, okay
Turn... Light's here Good We have drive,
drive two... which is good, because
- in case you need the second...
the sequel... to drive
- Just chill out and drive, man
Come on, now
You just gotta relaxJust...
Come on Let's relaxJust...
Y-Yea-a-ah
I said relax,
not hyperventilate
Don't... What you...
Look how tight you grippin'
the steering wheel Damn
I'm tryin' to get
in my mode here, all right?
- I'm tryin' to get in the game
- Why don't you let the game come to you?
Dag See, that's your problem
You try too hard
You always overthink things
You be kickin' down doors that's already open
You always tryin' to impress somebody:
Me, your dad, your ex
Come on, now If you ever gonna learn
how to drive, we gotta play to your strengths
and thinkin' ain't one of'em
So, don't think
- Don't think Don't think
- Don't think No
- Mm-mmm
- Just clear your mind Relax
- Okay Relax
- Listen to some music
- Oh, yeah!
- In the face!
- Oh, hell no Hell, no
- No, man
- That was pretty good
- Hey, No, no! I like this one Oh, yeah Wait, wait
- Natalie Cole, this one Yeah
- What you know about that?
That's one of my favorites I love this one
This one, I used to...
Just a little kid, man,
I used to sing it in my mirror in my bedroom
- All right
- I mean, I was, you know... you know...
- Hey Whatever works for you
- under supervision and everything like that
- Go ahead and sing Sing along to it
- Oh, you don't want me singin'
- Aw, come on Sing Sing the song!
- Okay All right There you go There you go!
- All right, now, put it in drive
- Okay
Who said stop singin'? Sing
- Sing the song Sing the damn song
- There we go
- Shoulders down
Just relax Yeah There you go
- You got it! You got it, man!
- Whoo!
- Hold on to the wheel There you go
Thank you so much.
Oh, dude, you're drivin;
Um, waitJesse, baby, please
Just stop buggin' for two minutes
- Let me just explain what's...
- Shh, shh You okay, B? I been worried sick
- Yeah
- Come on, girl
Um, baby, what are you doin' here?
You left your phone here. He called,
and I explained everything to him. And...
Belle, he's a dream
- So, you're not mad at me no more?
- How could I be mad at you?
- You was mad at me
- I wasn't that mad
- Come here
- Ohhh
- l... mmm
- Well, I missed you Mmm
- I missed you too, baby
- Oh.
- Oh, my
- This is like watching pay-per-view
- Mother!
Ooh
Mom, clear your throat
- Uh, hi.
- Hi
- Come on Let's go home
- Oh, no, no, no You're not going anywhere
- I made dinner
- No, you didn't
No, I didn't But, I made margaritas
We can order
Oh, boy, can we order
All right, look, let's be logical about this.
Let's go through the story one more time.
- Yeah
- Okeydoke.
B.M. W. Pulls out in front, right?
Well, see, that's the amazing thing right there...
getting a parking space in Manhattan.
YeahJesse's totally right
Wait a sec
How do you get a parkin' space in front
of a bank two days in a row? In Manhattan?
Yeah, 'cause the only places I ever find
are no-parkin' zones:
Loadin' zones, hospitals
or streets that are "no parking" for, uh...
- Garbage day
- Yeah
- Garbage day
- Yeah
- The whole side of the street is a no-parkin' zone
- Course!
So, they rob the bank early in the morning,
then they put the cash in the garbage can.
We chase the Beemer The garbage truck
picks up the cash,
and they meet up later on
So even if you do catch 'em,
that's why they ain't got the money on 'em
The only thing they need to pull it off
is a garbage man
- We gotta find that garbage man
- Okay
- Bye, Mom
- Hold on. Where you goin'?
Bye, baby
Wait, wait! Yo, whoa!
Yo, what do you want me to do with this?
We can't wait till the morning
The FBI may have already caught them by then
I mean... You know what I mean
Just keep a lookout
Hurry up
Voilà!
Wait, wait, wait
You don't think they have an alarm?
Come on It's not Fort Knox
It's the Department of Sanitation
Ooh Shh! Quiet down
Plan "B" Plan "B"
Plan "B"
Police We heard the alarm
- What's... What's goin' on here? Everything cool?
- You all right?
- Officer, uh, uh, Mullins This is Officer...
- Goodsnatch
Hello, what do we have here? Uh-oh,
obvious "B and E" Perps might be still inside
- Way to stay cool, dude Way to stay cool
- Yeah Look!
They even left
their lock picks
Surely they got
prints on these
- Gotta... Gotta tag these What's your name, sir?
- Verne
- Earn?
- Verne!
- Yeah Bern, where's the nearest...
- Verne!
- Verne?
- Verne
Verne Where's the nearest
computer, Verne?
The computers are inside
Follow me
All right. We find out who works th Street...
From Third to Broadway on Wednesday...
Leonard and Church on Thursday,
bang, we got our garbage man
Okay. "personnel, '"
"Routes';! Here we go.
Okay. "personnel, '"
"Routes';! Here we go.
"Routes" All right
" th," "Wednesday,"
- Boom, there we go We got our man
- "Anthony Scalia"
Yep Same garbage man got both routes
You see that?
Yep Same garbage man got both routes
You see that?
"Three East th Street, Apartment R. '"
Yeah. Boom. Let's go.
I'm getting used
to your driving
Okay. Here's the plan.
- I'm gonna need you to boost me up
to that fire escape...
- Cable!
Mr Scalia,
it's the police Open up!
Thanks
Stay back
Damn
Hello?
Shh
One last pickup,
then you are free
You bring us
the cash again
then, hey...
we let you go
We... We let your wife go
After I bring you the money,
how do I know what will happen then?
You don't
But if you go to the police,
you do know what will happen
Huh?
- So, that's the best way, over here
- Mm-hmm
We get in from here, and, uh
I think the best way out is coming from here
so we can make it faster
Your car, sir
Okay, girls.
Time to go.
Don't transfer me again I need the route
of Anthony Scalia, okay? It's an emergency Now!
Look It was on the fridge He works
midtown today, then he's off for two weeks
- Oh, my God It's gotta be today
- Yep
Get me Lieutenant Robbins
This is Washburn Marta... Lieutenant, look...
Whatever you're gonna say,
I don't wanna get into this right now. I'm busy.
- I got FBI all over my ass
- L-Lieutenant, with all due respect...
- I just can't hear you right...
- Shut up, Marta!
Now, look, they're usin' garbage trucks
to get the money out, okay?
Both robberies were on
the same garbage man's route
We went to his house
There's gonna be another robbery this morning
I know I'm a hundred percent sure
Please trust me, will you?
- What bank?
- It's gonna happen
somewhere between rd and th,
east of Fifth
Down! Down!
Everybody down!
If I see anybody's eyes,
I shoot.
You! On the ground Go
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa
Pull over Stop, stop
Pull over
One squad car?
She didn't believe me
So?
So, what we gonna do?
Fall back. Halt!
- Hey, grab somebody
- Drop your weapons and step out of the car!
On the ground! Now!
In this skirt?
I don't think so
Now, I'm going to drive away.
And if I see any cops, the kid dies.
- Okay, girls. Let's go.
- Wait Wait, wait, wait
Okay?
Can't let you take him
- Look, take me Okay?
- Robbins
- Marta
- It's okay
Okay Come here
Get over here!
Spread 'em
Let's make sure you're not wearing a wire
Turn around
Damn
Oh, Jesus
Would you take me too?
Okay
Get in the car
- Come on Come on
- Thanks
Any cops follow me,
she dies.
Belle, we gotta
do somethin'
All units, all units.
Be on the lookout for a blue B.M. W...
headed north on Park Avenue
This is Air Unit We lost 'em
We have no visual
of the suspects.
Suspects last seen in the vicinity of nd
and Vanderbilt near Grand Central Station.
Washburn,
you stay out of this
- All right? Whatever you got planned, don't do it
- I don't got a plan
- All units, all units.
Suspects still at large.
Last seen headed north on Third Avenue.
Callin' my own backup
- Be on the lookout for a blue B.M. W.
- Hey
Suspects are armed
and dangerous.
- Mario?
- Yo, Belle What's goin' on?
Listen, listen, listen
I need your help
Mr Scalia,
I'm a police officer
Come on, fellas Who's got 'em? Who's got 'em?
We're still lookin'
We haven't seen anything yet
I got 'em Fifty-seventh and Third, northbound
- Damn! They're probably at...
- Sixty-fifth Street, heading north
Damn! We don't have anybody up there
We're gonna lose 'em
I'm on my way
- Hey How you doin'? I got your money
- Against the wall
Oh, shit You got a gun
If they get past th,
we're gonna lose 'em.
Come here!
- Ha, ha You got punk'd
- Sit down!
- You okay, Ms Scalia? It's okay It's okay
- Oh, help me
It's okay. It's okay.
- There you go
- Thank you
- Come on Get out of here
- Thank you
Oh! Thank God
- Oh, my baby
- Thank you
Wow That's a cool car
You can have it
Have fun
They can chase him for a little while now
Shit
Oh, cool
- Now, where's Marta?
- Who's Marta?
- Come on! Where'd they go?
- I don't know
They never tell me anything I swear
Oh, shit Oh, my God Look at all this money
Look, I'm just gonna take a couple thou'
for the damage to my cab
'cause ain't nobody payin' for that
quick enough
Oh, my God Shit
- Hello?
- All right Check it out
They stopped at Marcus Garvey Avenue and nd
Switchin' into two silver Beemers, M 's
Put her on the phone
Excuse me, ma
- What?
- You got a phone call
- Hello?
- Chasin' you around the city has been so much fun
- And this tip, girl...
- W-What are you talkin' about?
- I'm talkin' 'bout your money
- We got it! We got your money
All of it! Hey, tell her
- Tell her
And that cop chasing you is not a real cop
- Turns out... Ow! Ow!
- Shut up Be quiet
He is a real cop
He just got fired
What do you want, cabbie?
I'll tell you what I want
What do I want?
- A trade A trade
- I want a trade
- The money for the girl
Always wanted to say shit like that
- Come on Come on
- Deal
- Yeah, all right
We make the exchange
on th Street and th Avenue
- Three minutes No tricks
- Yeah Three minutes Whatever
All right, let's get the rest of the money in a bag
Yo, yo, my phone!
You heard her, Mullins You got three minutes
Now, haul ass and stay out of sight
Don't worry We'll have the roadblock all set up
Don't wait for us
Either backup is lyin' really low,
or they just not here yet
What if she doesn't
take the bait?
Change of plans
- I thought we had a deal
- Never said I was stopping
Follow me We'll make the exchange on the go...
that's if you can keep up with that heap
Washburn Turn the car around
Turn the car around!
"Don't wait for me" He must have thought
he sounded so cool sayin' that
- Come on What are we doin'? We need a plan
- I'm workin' on it!
No more chitchat
Give me the cash now, or I shoot the girl
All right, all right
Just calm down
I got a plan
But we need to stall
- What?
- Start the transfer but don't complete it
- Trust me
- All right
Too early! Not yet! Trust me
Hey, these two big trucks comin' up...
is this part of your plan too?
- Get me in! Get me in!
- Come on!
Whoa!
- Gonna hit a truck!
- Too early! Get out Get out of here!
- Get me in! Get me in!
- No, we gotta stall!
- What are you talking about?
- Hey! You got a car You got a car coming!
- The exit's comin' up We need to have 'em take it
- This way Less traffic
Give me the cash
No more games
- Girl first
- No Girl first
- No! We'll switch same time
- On "three"
- One...
- One...
- Two...
- Two...
- Three!
- Ah!
Brake!
Oi!
Yeah!
Die!
Oh, shoot
Jesus
You're hit
- That skank shot me
- We gotta get you to a hospital
- Come on
- Stay low
- Watch out
- Watch your head Okay
What are you doing? You... I should drive Andy...
- Come on.
- I got it Belle, hang in there
- He's got it
- No, he don't got it
- You got it, don't you?
- Yeah
I'm lettin' the game
come to me
- Why are you singing? Why...
- Don't stop singing
- You don't... Why is he singing?
- He sings Don't stop him
- He sings?
- Oh, yeah Get me St Mary's emergency room
- Whoo!
- Washburn, there's the exit!
The rooms are prepped for surgery
Pull up to the ER entrance
and park in the white zone, but not...
Okay, let's get this woman to surgery!
Come on. Move it! And when
you get her there, prep her. Quickly!
Come on. Get this steppin; people.
There ain't nothin'for you to see here. Move it!
Welcome, NASCARrace fans.
We got a lot going on
this weekend.
Several NASCARracing divisions
are represented here today.
And rookie driver
Belle Williams...
with her new sponsor,
the banks of New York...
is taking to the track
for the first time ever...
to run practice
for her racing division.
The whole crew stands to make money
on this one 'cause we all bet on you
You know where your money's good at
All right, check the tires
- Hey!
- Yo, you got visitors
- Hey!
- Oh, my gosh You look great That's so cool
- You look so cool! How are you?
- Hey!
- Wow You look great
- Hi
- Oh, man
- Wow I love it
- How are you, Belle?
- Well, what do you think, huh?
- It's our latest undercover assignment:
Russian mafia
- What?
Ah! Okay
I'll buy it I'll buy it
- So, how are your new sponsors treating you, huh?
- Oh, good Check it out
- They have hooked me up
- This is unbelievable It looks great
I remember saving this one.
I remember saving this one.
- Hey, Jesse
- Hey, what's up, man?
All right Don't tell me What do you got here?
Probably a CI, four-barrel carb
horsepower,
R.p.M.?
- I'm impressed
- Oh, he's got it written on his hand
- Mom!
- Come on
She's wasted
- He's stupid
- Oh, Jesse.
Come on Let's have
a cold one, okay?
- I'll be with you in a minute, all right?
- She really needs a cold one
- Hey, watch your ass out there, baby
- I will
- 'Cause it's mine, all right?
- I will Mm-hmm
- Anyway... Oh, dude, we gotta split Party time
- Yeah
- Good luck
- Let's go Bye
- What are you d...
- I thought... Sorry
I thought there was a moment there
I'm s... Did you not... Are...
You keep giving me signals
No signals
There's no moment
There will be others
There will be others.
Hey, take care
of yourself, -
And don't do nothin'
crazy or stupid, all right?
Crazy and stupid's
my style
- Watch where you're goin'
- That yours?
- Oh, my God
- That's your boy
- That's your boy You ready to do this or what?
- All right Yeah
All the cars are heading out to the track.
- Practice is now underway.
- Hey, come on, boys
And we have a special
announcement on theJumbotron...
for banks of New York driver
Belle Williams from Jesse.
Ha, ha! Oh, my God!
Yes, yes, yes!
Of course I will
- And we see NASCAR's
premier series driver, Jeff Gordon...
- returning to drive lead with the setup.
- Come on, boys!
- Congratulations, Belle
- Thanks, Jeff
- You ready?
- Ready to try and smoke you
- All right Well, let's do this thing
All right Let's do it
- 'S'up, bro? How you doin'? Yeah
Yeah?
Against
the car
- Cut!
- I'm sorry I pinch her butt
Mark!
- Whoa!
- All right
Here we go
Here comes Junior
Oh
Geez
What the...
Wait! Oh, Lord
What...
And... cut!
- Yeah, where in the car?
- Door panel on the leftJust pull it
Say it
Don't spray it
- Think they're after computers?
- No, I think they're after your balls
Yeah They're after
the computers
Next time you guys are in Havana,
you give me a call
and come over and play Playstation, you know,
and play, uh... you know, hang out
You know, eat a gordita, you know,
which is a taco inside another taco...
soft inside of a hard one...
more beef, and then beans, and then more beef...
another taco,
and then into another one...
You must be starving,
little baby
Oh!
- Door panel on the left
- You make me mad, dude
- You heard me?
- Door panel on the left
- Yeah
- Just pull it
- All right? I'm tellin' you You could...
- Baby.
Be there
- I don't know why I'm puttin' the phone here
- Yeah
- Maybe your shoulder has something to say
- Okay Yeah I don't know
- Just pull it
- Man
- Just grab it
- I know No Shh "Grab it" is better
I can't believe this day
- This is the worst day of my life
- Yo.
I sound like Barry White's
illegitimate white grandson
Hey, wait, wait
I have an appointment
I'm sorry I can't hear you because
of the sign that says we're "closed"
Aw, come on, man
Give a sister a break
I been workin' for this for five years
Fillin' out these forms and taking these tests
Waitin' in these lines
I'd love to help you, but I'm sorry
You know
a handsome man like you
should not have trouble getting a cab
Mmm!
What is that scent you're wearing?
Could that be English Leather?
It is, huh?
Ooh, it's thick too Ooh!
I bet you be having the ladies
in this office going crazy, huh?
I'll tell you something
and I know you gotta go
so I'm not gonna keep you too long
but I would pick you up anytime
every time and at all times
if I had my hack license
Man
Aw, he bought candles.
Tomorrow night's lows in the s
Cool and breezy till Wednesday,
with a chance of rain...
Hmm Mmm-mmm-mmm
Baby
Baby
Babe!
Mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm
Now, where are you going?
Work
It's only... : ?
Yeah, well, I had to get some extra shifts
so I could get last night off
I'm sorry, baby, but that line
at the TLC was ridiculous
Yeah You know, it's always something, B
It's always something
But I bet you had time to put on that damn,
uh, supercharger thing, didn't you?
Come on, baby I'm really sorry
I'll make it up to you
I'll make it up to you
soon as you get off
- How?
- You tell me
Mmm, okay All right, baby
You better be ready when I get back, girl
All right? I'm...
Don't hurt yourself now
I don't want no excuses later
Tsk Stop playing
You live next door to your moms?
Makes her feel safe
She must not've
seen you in action, huh?
Uhh...
Uh, it's a little messy, but, you know
I've been working late so I haven't
had time to fix up the place
I got some good artwork
on the way on eBay
It's on the...
You know, I'm still bidding
So make yourself at home, okay?
Enjoy yourself
Okay Ooh
Nice My hair
Hey
Okay, you're in luck.
I have two options.
You got the sleeping bag times
or the love capsule
The love capsule.
"Dan"? Who is Dan?
It's supposed to say "danger"
You know how it is
Nah, I don't know how it is
Tattoos hurt
You know, they stick needles in.
You know how tattoos happen?
They put needles in
I think you better get that tattoo finished
as a warning to the rest of us
Oh, God, it feels good to lay down.
Good night
What kind of grown-ass man
lives feet away from his mama?
I wouldn't talk so much
Isabelle "Precious" Williams
- Who told you about my name?
- It's in your record
Precious
My Precious
Go ahead Say it again
Say it again, see what happens I dare you
Precious
What the hell?
Get your ass off of me!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
- What you doin' down here?
- What's wrong with you?
- I should have warned you I'm sorry
I roll when I sleep sometimes
I move
- I'm a restless sleeper.
- Yeah, you restless, all right
I didn't know what was happening there,
but we... we spooned, okay?
We spooned a little bit.
At least we didn't fork.
We didn't... please, be nice.
Wait Wait
I just remembered something the girls
kept saying over and over to each other
"Nice 'dua rateeraros."
Mais duas retiradas?
Yeah That's what they said
That means,
"Two more withdrawals"
Two more withdrawals?
Let's go! Let's go!
You might want to change
your clothes, freak
I want five cars on th and Broadway
waitin', and I want 'em now
- Did she have an accent?
- Jersey
Mmm
- What size was her bust?
- What?
Her bosom
Her hooters Her headlights
Her flesh pillows Her fun bags
Her knockers. Her rack. Her boobs.
Oh
They were about like, uh...
Compared to mine What?
Yeah About like that, yeah
-C
All right, finish up, Officer.
- Four women, and there was no
money in the car. I searched it.
- It's definitely possible
- There's all kinds of paint...
- What are you two talking about?
Of course It's a red BMW You might
as well drive a ice cream truck
The girls drove a BMW, so that's what
we look for Then they change it
Wait a minute You're saying
that all four robbers are women?
- Yeah
- And you saw them?
Do you think they're after computers?
Verne!
You actu... Verne, crackheads!
Crackheads, Verne!
Crackheads
Man, they'd do anything for the rock
They'd bust you clean
'cross your head for that rock.
She's a sweet damned mistress
Mysterious, like Atlantis
Sunken crack whores
- The bitch is crazy
- Look, dude, about those
computers you're talking about...
The computers are inside Follow me
Yeah, I figured they were inside
Okay, here's the plan.
All right. We find out who works 36th Street...
From Third to Broadway on Wednesday...
Leonard and Church on Thursday,
bang, we got our garbage man
Okay. "personnel, '" "Routes';!
Here we go.
"Routes" All right
"36th," "Wednesday,"
- Boom, there we go We got our man
- "Anthony Scalia"
Yep Same garbage man got both routes
You see that?
"Three East 117th Street,
Apartment 4R. '" Yeah. Boom. Let's go.