Training Day Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Training Day script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Training Day. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Training Day Script




It's time.



Hey there...



...good morning. How are you today?



Hey. What are you doing up?






Is that Daddy?



Hey there, cowgirl.



She's a little feisty today.



Babies should be sleeping.



"I'm too hungry for my own good."




I gotta get ready.



Wrong day to be forgetting stuff.



You know how lucky you are.

Don't screw this up.



All right! Jesus.



-She go back to sleep?

-Yes. Ate like a pig.



I know I'm lucky. I ace this job,

the department's wide open.



Get my own division someday.

You should see their houses.






Well, yes.



Don't worry, I will.



He's right here.

It's Alonzo.







Yes, sir.



-Going to roll call?

-I'm leaving now.




-Yes, sir?



-Fairies go to roll call. We don't.

-Good to know.



There's a coffee shop on  th.

Be there at   .



Be in comfortable shoes.

Got a backup gun?



-Only the standard issue Beretta.

-Bring it. Cuffs too.



Maybe we'll do some business.

We 're aggressive.



I know. That's why I signed up.

I want to thank you for this--



What's wrong?



Feels like football tryouts.



I wish it was tomorrow

so I'd know if I made the squad.



Listen, it's not tomorrow, it's today.



-I know it's gonna work out.

-You do?



Good morning, sir.



No, thank you, ma'am.



Get some chow in you.

My dollar.



Thank you, sir, but I ate.



Fine. Don't.



It's nice here.



May I read?



-I'm sorry, sir. I--

-Thank you.



-I'll get something to eat.

-Hell, no you won't. You fucked up.



I'm trying to read. Please shut up.



I'll like not being in a hot

black and white all summer.



Tell me a story, Hoyt.



-Like my story?

-Not your story, a story.



Since you can't shut up

so I can read, tell me a story.



-I don't know any.

-You don't?




-I'll tell you one.



This is a newspaper, right?

It's    percent bullshit.



But it's entertaining. So I read it.



It entertains me. You won't let me

read it, so you entertain me.



Tell me a story now. Go.



-There was a DUI stop.

-A DUI stop?



Let me load up!



-A DUl? Oh, shit!

-Well, l--



-Listen, we were on midwatch--

-We who?



-Oh, me and Debbie.

-Who's Debbie?



Debbie Maxwell, my training officer.



-A female training officer?

-Yes, sir.



Okay. All right.



Was she black, white?



She was white.



-Lick-her license?

-A what?



A lick-her license.

Was she a dyke, a lesbian?



-Is she any good?

-She's pretty good.



-Okay, Debbie, midwatch. Go.




-It was a quiet night--




-What the fuck?

-You never know, that's the point. Go.



It was quiet and we're rolling...



...l'm driving. This Acura,

just a beautiful car...



...comes out a side street, all over

the median. I hit the wailer.



He drives for    blocks

before he pulls over.



Plates run clean,

so I test and arrest.



I'm belting in our unit,

and she's tossing his car.



She shows me a .  

and two loaded shotguns.



-No shit?

-No shit! So...



...she calls and I'm searching.

I find     grams of meth.



Turns out he's on bail

for distribution...



...on his way to smoke

his ex-partner before trial.






-Prevented a murder.

-You got him. It's amazing.



It is. That you're out there...



...with a fine bitch for a year and

the best story you can tell me...


            a drunk stop.



But I don't believe you.

You tapped that ass, didn't you?



Tell the truth.

You know you tapped that ass.



In the back, bam! Code X.



-I got a wife.

-You got a dick.



-You do have one, don't you?




Your dick lines up straight.

Right and left of it are pockets.



In those pockets are money.

Look in either one. Pay the bill.



Grab that menu off that window for me.



Get in, it's unlocked.



Throw that in the glove box.



-This is not from the motor pool.

-No. Sexy, though, huh?



-Where's the office, at division?

-You're in the office.



Going up.



Today is a training day.



Give you a taste of the business.



I got    cases pending trial...



...   active investigations,

    I can't clear.



I supervise five officers.

Five personalities.



Five sets of problems.

You could be six.



I ain't holding no hands.



You got today to show me

what you're made of.



You don't like Narcotics,

get the fuck out of my car...



...get a job chasing bad checks.

You hear me?



-I hear you.




Why do you want to be a narc?



To serve my community by ridding

it of dangerous drugs.



Right, but why a narc?



I want to make detective.



Stick with me, you can do it.



Unlearn that academy shit.



Don't bring that here.

It'll get you killed.



I'll do anything you want me to do.



My nigger.



Roll your window down. Start there.



-Got to hear it, smell it, taste it.




How's your Espanol?.



Learn that shit.



That will get you killed.



They plot all kinds of shit

behind your back.



You gonna teach me that

old-school Rodney IKing shit?



We don't roll like that no more.



Now we use this.



These niggers are too strong.



-Think I'm crazy?

-I don't know what to think.













Been married long?



-About a year.




-You got a kid?

-A girl,   months.



I got four. Boys.



You need a son,

I'll hook your lady up. Can't miss.



Can we not talk

about my family, all right?



I respect that.



I'm married, I got my queen too.



I remember having a young bride.



You probably fuck her face-to-face,

don't you?



Let's not talk about her.



That's my point. You're so in love,

it's coming right out.



The day you bring

that here is the day...


            don't make it back.

Hide it deep inside of you.



The maggots out here

will find it...



...use it against you

and chew you up.



Never wear the ring to work.



-I'm serious about that.




What's here?






You see that guy trying to act

like he's not slanging dope?




-That's my boy.



That's my boy, Neto.



Only     but he can kill.



-Works for me.

-He's an informer?



Teammate. I got eyes everywhere.



He gets to make some cash.

Lets me know when big things happen.



Big transactions.



-You trust him?

-Damn right I do.



Sprung his mom from INS detention.

Here we go. Watch this.



That's right. Come on down.



Come on. Look at it. Sexy, ain't it?



That's right.



-See the hand-to-hand?

-I saw it.



-When was your last felony stop?

-Two weeks ago.



You need practice.



-College kids.

-They'll get an education today.



I want them grabbing glass.

You take the back.



Stay off of the Rover.



Let's go.



-You little fuckers.

-Run, baby, run.



Police! Let's see your hands!



Put them up! Put them up!



Put your hands on the windshield!



-Put your hands on the glass.

-Driver, put it in park!



-It's a stick shift!

-Throw the keys out the window!



Put your hands on your chest!



All right, fork it over.




-You know.



The marijuana. Give it to me!



-Give it!

-Okay! Sorry, sir.



-Shut up! Give me that pipe.

-My mom gave me that pipe.



She can pick it up in jail.

Give me the cigarettes too.



-Control your suspect!

-Palms on the glass!



Move the hands, I'll slap you!

Face against the glass! Right there!



You know this is a gang neighborhood?




-Then don't come down here.



I see you down here again,

I'll make you walk home.



I'll let the homeboys run

a train on her. IKnow what that is?



Yes, sir.



All right, gentlemen.

Thanks for your cooperation.



Let's go. Safe your iron, son.






I like that shit.



I like how you move.

You were trained well.



Check that out. It's a bad dime.

See the hairs, undeveloped seeds.



You see how immature it is.



That's classic Mexican garbage.



Let me see. It's old.

Probably last year's.



To be truly effective...



...a good narcotics agent

must know and love narcotics.



A good narcotics agent should have...



...narcotics in his blood.



-What, you gonna smoke that?

-No, you are.



-Hell if I am!




-You're not?




-Why? You a Mormon?

-I'm not losing my job.



This is your job.



-Smoke it.




This ain't a test. Take a hit.



Listen, I became a cop

to stop people from using--



-That ain't cocaine. Take a hit.

-No, man.



-Jesus Christ!

-Yeah, right.



If I was a dealer, you'd be dead!



Turn shit down out here,

and your wife gets a flag.



What's wrong with you?



You know what?



I don't want you in my unit.

Get the fuck out of my car, rookie.



Poo butt-ass.



-What's the holdup?

-Move it!



Give me that thing.



I'll smoke it. Give it to me.



You want me to, I'll smoke it.



Virgin lungs. Man up now.

Man up, nigger. Man up.



Go ahead. Get it.



-Come on!

-Shut the fuck up and just wait!



-Man the fuck up! Finish that shit!




Let's go, nigger. Let's go.



Oh, shit!



You okay, kid?



That's a man size hit you took.

When's the last time you smoked weed?



The last-- Twelfth grade.



We were....



-Well, we were....

-Smoking weed.







Left that out of your service jacket.



I know you got secrets.

Everybody got secrets.



-Didn't know you liked it wet, though.

-What's wet?



Butt-naked. Ill. Sherm. Dust.



PCP. Primos. P-dog.



That's what you had.



You couldn't taste it?



-I never done it.

-I haven't, but you have now.






Shit. I'll get piss-tested,

and I'll get fired.



The boss has our back.

We know before we piss.







Why did you do this?



You're an adult.

Nobody made you smoke.



You made a decision. Live with it.



Not like I put a gun to your head.






-Oh, man, shit.

-Come on, get your shit together now.



This is my dog's house.



We'll see what he thinks of you.



-Get your ass in here!

-Roger, what's up?



-How are they treating you?

-All right.



-I didn't wake you up?

-I never sleep.



Right. This my new guy, Jake.



Come on. Get in here.



Yeah. Time to get my swerve on here!



-What you drinking?

-The best.



The best, I know. Best for the best.



I heard about Vegas.

Got a green light on your ass.



No problem.



Russians want you. I got your back.



I know that. Thank you.



Here. Get that medicine up in you.



-Back to the world.

-Back to the world.



Went and got yourself

a daisy-fresh rookie.



He's high as a motherfucker.

What did you give him?



-A little of Mexico's finest.







-Where'd you grow up?

-North Hollywood.



-What's your last name?




Hoyt. Hoyt....



-Strong safety, North Hollywood High.




-How'd you know that?

-How did you?



-I follow all the good players.

-No doubt.



Excuse me. Shit.



-Strong safety, huh?

-It's me. What's up?



I can't do anything.

Clean up your own mess. Don't call me.



Hey! Here's a joke, boy.



Man walks out of his house,

sees this snail lying on his porch.



So he picks it up,

chucks it into the backyard.



Snail bounces off a rock,

busts its shell up all to shit...



...lands in the grass.



Snail lies there dying.






...snail doesn't die.

Soon it can crawl again.



And one day...



...snail heads back

to the front of the house.



Finally, after about a year...



...the little guy crawls

back on the porch.



Right then the man walks

out of his house...



...sees this snail again.



So he looks at it...



...and he says:



"The fuck's your problem?"



That's not funny.



What you laughing for then?



-I don't know, man. I--




Figure that joke out,

you'll figure the streets out.



Nothing to figure out.

It's senseless bullshit.



-You know-- I already figured it out.





-You already figured the streets out?



Well, it's all about smiles and cries.



-Put the drink down. What is that?

-Hold on!



Hold on. Smiles and cries.



Smiles and cries.

Smiles and cries. I hear you.



Yeah, you gotta control

your smiles and cries...



...because that's all you have,

and nobody can take that away.



Oh, shit.



What you think, dog? Think this

greenhorn can handle undercover?



You were just like him.

Same silly-ass look and everything.



Saving the goddamn world.



Now that's some smiles

and cries for your ass!



-That was you.

-Shit lasted a week.



Gotta get back to it.



Thanks for the snort.



-Good to see you.




Yes, sir. What you doing later?



Stay home. Save some cheddar.



My dream's less than a year away.

Philippine lslands, here I come.



-Let me go too.

-You're invited.



Hey. Open your eyes, man.

You'll feel a lot better.



Boom! Come on, man. Sit your ass up.



Who are you?



I'm the Zig-Zag man. Who are you?



-I'm a cop. Watch out!

-Don't shoot nobody.



Get that beer in you for ballast.



-No, man.

-Get it in you. You'll feel better.



Stop the car!



Stop the car! I saw something!



-Just relax.




All right! Hold the fuck on-- Hey!



Fuck me, man! Shit.



Police officer!

Get away from the girl!



-I'm gonna fuck you too, cop!

-Get the--



We didn't do shit! Bitch is crazy!



Roll over, man. Roll the fuck over!



Fucking ass prick!



My nigger!



Go ahead, cowboy,

you got mad squabbles.



-Thanks for the help.

-You should've shot them.



What's happening?



-You're dead!

-Okay! Wait! Hold it!



-You too, white boy!




-My cousins will blast you fools!

-Calm down.



-Calm down. You okay?

-No, I'm not!



-Look at my nose!

-I see it.



Put ice on it. You'll be fine.

What're you doing here?



-I was just--

-They probably got AIDS.



Why you not at school?



I was going to a ditch party and--



You almost became the ditch party.



-Where your cousins from?

-Hillside Trece!



-Remember that!

-Tell your cousins to get your back.



Grab your bag and go home now.



-No! I need a statement--

-Don't need no statement.



-They'll fuck you up.

-We gonna let them go?



You wanna beat them up, go ahead.



I got a punching bag at home.

They should be off the streets.



You hear that?



-Wanna go home or to jail?

-What you think?



Got room at the booty house.

You been there?



-You'll grab your ankles.

-Suck my dick!



-I know people.

-That's how it starts.



What about you? What you got?



-Got nothing?




-You sure?




-Where's your horn?

-Got none.



You got money, though.



You lied to me!



Lucky I don't make you eat that.



Stand up, you. Stand the fuck up!



Yeah. Oh, shit, huh?



Turn around, sucker. Turn around.



So you like raping girls?



-Like to rape girls?

-No, man.



-That's what you like?




That what you like? Don't lie.



Told me to suck your dick.

Is that what you said?



Look at me.



You wanted me

to suck your dick, right?



Isn't that what you said?



Didn't you say suck it?

Don't lie. Am I a liar?



You didn't say that?



That's not what you said?

So I'm lying?



-No, please!

-Where is it? I can't find it.



Pull your pants down.



Which nut you want?

I'll leave you one.



Your choice. Just make a decision.



All right.

Put your hands on your head.



Close your eyes. Close your eyes.



Lucky I got other business.



I'd cut your fucking dick off

and stick it up your funky ass. Bitch.



Damn! I'm thirsty.

I want a beer. What about you?



You want a beer?



I'm gonna leave you three to it.



Pussy-ass bitch!



I see you again, I'll fuck you up!



You won't see shit coming!



I'll dent your mouth,

I'll crack your head open.



You fucking pig! Come on!



-That girl's   .

-She all woman, though.



You tax that ass for days, man!

IKeep walking, bitch!



You want a beer?



-No, I don't want a beer, man.

-No? You mad?



Want to book that $   huh?



Here, go ahead, book it into evidence.



Where the suspects? Go get them.



You let them go.



-I let them go?

-You did.



You want to run and gun,

stay in Patrol.



This is lnvestigations.



Garbage men handle garbage.



Professional anglers

go after the big fish.



Chasing them crackhead




-They'd have killed you.

-They belong in jail.



Why? They got beaten,

lost their money.



Hillside's éses will smoke them.

What more you want?



-I want justice.

-That's not justice?



-That's street justice.




-Let them kill each other?

-God willing.



Fuck them!

Everybody looking like them.



Reality is, the good guys...



...they die first.

The school kids and moms...


            men, don't want to catch

any bullets.



To protect the sheep,

you got to catch the wolf.



It takes a wolf to catch a wolf,







-Protect the sheep by killing wolves.

-I heard you.



-You didn't hear me.

-All right. Whatever.



Whatever the fuck-ever!



Do you ever lock anybody up?

You seem busy keeping people out.



You don't know shit!



Shit, they build jails because of me!



Judges gave over        man-years

of incarceration time...



...based on my cases.

My record speaks for itself.



How many felons have you got?



I rest my case.



-I'm not smoking crack, all right?

-I'm glad. Put it in the glove box.



Put the $   in there too.



That'll come in handy.

We'll use it like a credit card.



No matter what I say,

you did the right thing.



Reminds me when I was

chasing down bad guys.



Pretty amazing shit you did

back there.






I noticed you applied that chokehold

though, huh?



That's a no-no procedure.



-I was getting my ass kicked.

-You did what you had to do.



You did what you had to do.



That's right.



What a wolf does. You a wolf?



Come on, wolf! Come on, dog!



No, I said a wolf,

not a rooster, a wolf.



-That's a rooster, give me a wolf!

-Give me a beer!



There you go! That's my nigga.



You got the magic eye, Hoyt.



You have the magic eye.



You up your street IQ...


           'll do some damage,

I guarantee.



Crime fighter.



-What you need?




-Uh,    bucks....




Smell like bacon!

Do I look like a sucker to you, nigga?



Fuck you, rookie!



Go fetch, dog.



You want me to....



Oh, come on, man, it's....



Give me a break! Hey, you! Slow up!



Come on, stop!



Police officer! Police officer! Stop!

Come on, man!



Give me a break! Shit!



Get out! Get out of here

or I call police.



Police officer, ma'am, calm down.

I said stop! Stop!



Get the fuck off me. Fuck off.



You're making this so much harder!

Just calm down!



You love this shit, huh?



Hey, man, hey!



Pick him up!



Civil rights violating motherfuckers!






-Watch the fucking legs, man!

-Pick his legs up.



Ain't got nothing better to do

than fuck with me, man? Shit!



Who you working for?



I ain't work for nobody!

I'm on disability!



Shit! You know you cracking.



I don't sell no more.



-No rocks?

-No rocks.



-But I found this.

-No, you don't.



That motherfucker planted

that shit on me.



Put me in the front seat,

I'll whup his ass!



Who you working for?



Told you I don't work for nobody, man!



Where the rocks?



I got nothing on me.

I gave it up.



Where the rocks?



Open your mouth.



You a doctor now?



A dentist. Open it.



Lift up your tongue.



Your partner already searched me.

I'm straight.



Yeah, okay.



You got a pen, got a writing pen?



Didn't see the motherfucker coming!



Nothing in there?



Nothing, man!



Ain't got nothing, huh?







-Now what is that?



-Crack, man!

-Right. Jimmy crack corn.



One, two, three, four, five, six.



Oh, you federally fucked now.



You got crack and a gun.



With your record you'll get

   years per bullet, you know?



Give me a name, now.



-You know I ain't no snitch!

-I know you ain't.



Give me a name.



-Twenty. A name!




That's    years!



You want to go to jail or go home?



-He in County.




This nigga named Sandman.

That's all I know! Shit!






See how easy it was?



-Unhook him.

-Sick of this shit, man!



Want the evidence?



-Fuck that, man.

-My nigga.



-It's Bob.




-How's it going?

-It's Alonzo.



-Got your gang book?




I need a res on a Sandman.

He may be in custody.



-Hold on. I'll check.

-No problem.



That doesn't fly anymore.

Shoving a pen down.



-What if he complains?

-To who?



          th Street.

Kevin Miller, a.k.a. Sandman. Got it?



I know where it is.



-Out there by lmperial Courts?

-Exactly, uh-huh.



-Thanks a lot.

-No problem.



-We go after Sandman?

-We go after him.



Opening a Circuit City?



No, unclaimed shit from Property.



Hand it out to my Cl's, witnesses,




Try to help out their families.

Put this on.



Come on, let's go.



Intel says she lives here alone.

She got two female juveniles...



...possibly a male juvenile.



-If he's not here, why are we?

-To serve this warrant.



-We can't do that.

-Yes, we can. We the police.



-Why not get a real warrant?

-We trying to get shit done.



Stand over there

and don't get me killed.



-Police, we got a search warrant!

-L.A.P.D., open up!



IKevin ain't here!



Just open the door!



IKevin ain't here!



-Open the door, ma'am!

-He ain't even here!



I said IKevin ain't even over here!



We got a search warrant.

Open up.



Ain't nobody here!



Get your big ass down!

Right down! Down!



Don't move, spread them out!

Don't move!



Anybody in the house?

ls anybody in the house?!



My nephew, Dimitri! ln the bedroom!



Okay. I'm gonna clear the house,

check it for weapons.



IKitchen's clear!







Put your hands up, son.



-Anybody else?




-You sure?




Okay, just stay right there.

Don't move! Don't you move.



Stand up. IKeep your hands

where I can see them.



Sit down and place them

on your knees.



Sit down. We're the good guys.



Just sit down right over there

next to your auntie.



Right over there.



House is Code- .

I'm starting the search.



-I wanna see that warrant.

-The what?



The warrant. I need a copy.



My partner has it.

He'll be out soon.



Where's your backup?



Just be quiet until we're through

with our investigation.



-You got the gun, don't you?

-That's right.



Punk-ass, bitch-ass, crooked-ass cop!



You a rookie.



Give me a break, okay?



How you doing over there?



You cool? Come on.

Don't worry about it, you're cool.



Just stay cool.



All right.



-Ma'am, please sit down.

-You act like you pay the rent!



-Sit down!

-You all stink!



You gotta get drunk to come

up here!



-Sit down now!

-Y'all stink!



You're gonna shoot me, boss?



Close your eyes.

This punk cop is gonna shoot me!



-Sit down, right now!




Okay! Everything is fine.



We made a mistake.



Didn't find a damn thing.

I'm very sorry.



Thanks for your cooperation.

Let's go.



-Show me that warrant.




I want to see that goddamn warrant!



Here you go. Let's go!









Hey, jackers! Give me my money back.



You ain't no police!

Give me my money back!



Jackers, why you all standing

over there?! Blast them fools!



You ain't no police!



I want my money back!



Start, you motherfucker!



Fuck! Gun!



-Just get out of here!

-Stay in the car!



Yeah, motherfuckers!



That was not cool, all right?

That was not cool at all!



Opening fire in a neighborhood.



Where was the Sandman?

What were you doing back there?



Checking for narcotics activity.

Drugs, guns, baggies, you know?



-Yeah, cash!

-Speak on it, son.



-She's screaming about money--




She's screaming

about having us killed!



I'll be on the  :   news

in handcuffs because of you.



With the scandals,

it is open season on misconduct.



-They'll nail us to the wall.

-Pull over.



-Pull over.




-Yeah, pull over.










You're in a privileged position

to learn.



IKeep your mouth shut, eyes open.



Want to do some good,

this is the place to learn.



You can't take it, maybe you

should go back to your division.



Get a nice job lighting flares

or measuring car wrecks.



You got to decide

whether you're a wolf...



...or a sheep.



Get your ink...



...or go give him a hand.



What are we doing here?

We'll get killed.



-You know about this place?

-It's the Jungle, right?



They say don't come with anything

less than a platoon.



This is the heart of it.



Jungle. Damu headquarters.






A lot of murder investigations

lead here.



One way in, one way out.



Thought we were going to eat.



Don't ever come here without me.

I'm serious. For your safety.



-How'd you get a golden pass?

-I treat them fair.



They know if they cross the line,

I tax that ass.



What's that, up there?



They flipping pigeons

to signal I'm here.



-What's up, Bone?

-What's up?



-What's up?

-It's all good.



I appreciate what you did

for my nephew.



For sure. For sure.



You better call me.



I'm sick of it.

I can't stand him!



-Who are they?

-Nobody. I got them under my thumb.



-What's up, Alonzo?

-All right, Spider. What's happening?



Hey, what's up, girl? Look at you.

Go ahead.



All that jelly and no toast.



-Who lives here?

-Just one of my lovelies.



A loving touch, you know?

Don't worry.



New guy, Jake.



Nice to meet you.

Welcome to my house.



-Give him some food. Take care of him.

-Of course.



-Of course. How are you?

-Good, good.



I have cable.

You watch whatever you want, okay?




-This is your house.



I'll be right back.



-How you doing?




Now, this is all EI Salvadorian food.



Thank you. It looks great.



I have to go.



Yeah, all right.



Let's go.

We got a meeting in     minutes.



-I just need to--

-Forget it. Let's go.



I'll see you, buddy.



You okay?



Here, use this.



-Who's here?

-L.A.P.D.'s finest.



Don't speak till you're spoken to.



Come on.



Good to see you.



That's my new guy. Jake Hoyt.

Captain Lou Jacobs.



Need to talk to the feds,

go to him first.



He'll take your back for you.



Stan Gursky,

he runs the D.A. shooting team.



Think about him

before you shoot someone.



If you're wrong,

he'll use your nuts for dice.



Right here,

Detective Doug Rosselli...



...handles theft cases

for the French-poodle crowd.



He's a good man.



-Pleased to meet you.

-Good man.



-Should l...?




Get yourself a steak or something.



All right, gents.



I don't know why I'm meeting you.

I don't talk to dead men.



I ain't dead yet.



Fucking prick. Excuse me.



Why the long face, Doug?



-Feds seize your house or something?

-Fuck yourself.



Tell him the story.



Come on, tell the story.



-If it's so funny, you tell him.

-It's your story.






All right.

There's a serial burglar.



Chased him for a year.

A real slickster.



Captain's riding my ass

the whole time.



-Sentencing was today.

-Judge is female.



That's right. Landers.



I know Landers. She's a sharp lady.






Guy gets ahold of some peanut butter,

packs his ass-crack with it.



He's standing before the bench,

waiting to give his statement.



Shoves his hand down his pants,

comes out with extra-chunky Jif.



Bailiffs won't come near him.



Now he looks the judge

right in the eyes...



...and licks his fingers clean.



Holy shit.



So the judge says:



"This man's insane.

He can't go to prison."



-Sends him to Psychiatric.

-She fell for it.



Yeah! She's so fucking smart.



By the time she found out,

the guy's already been transferred.



-Proceedings closed.

-Yeah, closed.



He'll do six months

in the puzzle factory...



...and they'll let him go.



Never, ever do a day in prison.



Give him credit. He worked the system,

deserves his freedom.



Yeah? Think so?



Or not.



I'll tell you what.



I'll find this guy on the street...



...and I'll do him.



Better take his bullets away,







Heard you had an expensive weekend

in Vegas.



How did you ever screw up so bad?



It's nothing.

I didn't know. It's not my town.



The Russians don't care

if you're a cop.



They'll whack you.

You ought to get on a plane.






-It's an easy fix.




I'll just cash in an account.




-One of my old ones. My first one.



The guy's a high-security risk.



If I'm not around,

who will keep him off the radar?



I'm just taxing him, that's all.




It's your call.



Don't dick this up.



I do not want to see you

on the front page like the others.



Yeah, I understand.



Who's driving?



Me. Gray Mercedes.



Get the car.



Black Monte Carlo there,

back windows shot out.



It's me.

Listen, we got the green light.



Fax a copy

of the warrant to the clerk.



Get it signed by the judge, and I want

you and Paul to bring it to me.



Tell Jeff to pick up some tools.

Picks and shovels.



Make sure he signs them out

from maintenance. Copy?



That's right. Hurry up! Later.



So how much cash was in that jacket?



Forty G's.



What's that for?



-Really want to know?

-Yes, I do.



Nothing's free in this world.

Not even arrest warrants.



Shit, man, I didn't want to know.



Check this out.

Nice suit, Mark.



-Beautiful suit.

-Yeah, fuck you guys!



All right. Nice, nice.



What's up, Alonzo?



-The picks and shovels?

-In the trunk.



Digging a ditch?



No, you are.

Nice suit you got on there.



That's what I said.



-What up, killer?

-What's up with you?



-Heard you ran into trouble.

-It's all good.



Don't worry, everything's fine.



Shit, if we can get away with it,

I'm with you.



-Who the fuck is this?

-Jake Hoyt. It's my first day.



You're a long way from Starbucks.



-Why the fuck is he here?

-Gotta get his cherry popped.



Stay the fuck out of my way.



This is for the big dogs. Feel me?



Here it is, all legit,

signed by the judge, okay?



Thanks to the Sandman.

Now listen.



Safety is first.



He gives us shit,

we give him lead.



Let's do this right

so we can all go home.



Time to punch in, ladies.



Freeze! On the floor!




-What are you clowns doing?



Hey, new guy, watch him!



-I'm on him.

-You know what you're doing?



Drop your gun!



Five. Four. Three.






Give me a reason.



Alonzo's gonna have your ass.



What's up, Roger?



-What's going down, brother?

-Oh, it's all good, baby.



It's all good.



That's for you.



What am I supposed to do with this?

Wipe my ass?



Bad news, dog.



Gimme some of that $   -a-glass shit.






Had lunch with the wise men.



You gotta render unto Caesar.



-Those vampires want my pension.

-No, no.



Just a tax.



They got their boats and mistresses,

house payments.



Nothing I can do.

I'm just a lowly civil servant.



You're their bitch.



-What about me?

-I got your back.



Don't worry, we won't

take anything you'll miss.



I'm sorry. Orders, dog.



No you ain't, cop.



In the kitchen, fellas.



Give me the bitch.



You guys hold him down.



-Who'll pay for my floor?

-The city.



Right here.



That's what I'm talking about.



What's in here? Coke?



You'll see.



Grab that hammer

and knock this lock off.



One, two....



That's $       you're holding.



Over four million in here.



A $  million bust on day one.



-You said four.

-Minus tax, brother!



Nothing's free in this world.



Buy your wife a car.

Put the kids through college.



The only checks I cash say "L.A.P.D."



Somebody didn't sleep

through Ethics.



You don't want a piece of this?



No, right?



Not like this.









First time, you're not comfortable.

I'll hold it for you.



-What about you?

-Oh, I'm comfortable.



-How about you?

-I'm very comfortable.



Let's wrap this up.



Don't touch a thing! Evidence.



Alonzo, what are

those pricks thinking?



That I'm gonna stand still and

let them horsefuck me?



Could put you out of your misery.



Hey, Jake, here.



Sit down.



Here's a secret:



When you kill someone on duty...



...they have to be your slave

in the afterlife.



There you go.



Start an entourage.



-Shoot him?




Come on, kid. Do me a favor.



Come on.



Do yourself a favor. Hit him.



Are you serious?



Hey, close the blinds.



-All right, I'll shoot him.








Shoot him.



No, man.



IKids these days.

Not gonna do it?



All right, give it to me.






You want shit done,

you gotta do it yourself.



Holy shit!



Come on, breathe.



Breathe, there you go.



Just let it go.



Breathe, dog!



He's finished.



-Where's the stinger?

-Right here.



All right, Jeff.



You took fire coming in.



I need some time off, but....



-Watch the shades.

-All right.




-IKiss me.






-You okay?




I gotta give you one more, though.



Do it.






It's not what you know,

it's what you prove.



Here it is.

Mark and Paul kick the door.



Jeff's in first.

Roger fires twice.



What, one go through?



-You shot him!

-You fucking shot me, man!



-Don't worry.

-Call an ambulance!



Go to jail, or go home?



All right, here's the scenario.



Mark and Paul kick the door.

Jeff runs in.



Roger opens fire, hits Jeff.



Hoyt is in second,

drops Roger with the shotgun.



-Who shot Roger?

-New guy.



-New guy.

-You two?




-Fuck Hoyt. Ambulance time!



Done. Paul, call them up.



    -  .    . Shots fired.



Officer down. Repeat, officer down.



     Baxter Street.



Congratulations. You're gonna get

a medal of valor for this.



-I didn't shoot him.

-Four cops saw it.



But I didn't. You did.



"An L.A.P.D. narcotics officer

was killed today...



...serving a warrant

in Echo Park."



Give me the bitch.



"A spokesperson said

the officer is survived...


            a wife and child."



There's more. You get the picture?



Yeah, I get it.



That's the second time

you pointed a gun at me!



Goddamn, boy! That's it, Jake!



Y'all see this?

That's it!



-I'll put a bullet in that melon.

-Wait, wait.



I'm gonna be cool. Drop the gun!



Shoot me.

He's coming with me.



-I'll shoot!

-He's a fed.



No, he ain't. He's just a kid

that got the drop on y'all.



Let's take a deep breath

and just diffuse this. Jake?



I didn't sign up for this!



I know you're angry.

Everybody, put the guns down.



-Hell, no.

-Choirboy first.



Listen! That's an order!



Put them down!



Use your ears, Jake.



Sometimes we take this shit

all the way.



It's the nature of the business.



You'll never have to pull

the trigger again, all right?



-Mark, where are you transferring?







You give me    months,

I give you a career.



We make the big seizures, Jake.



But if you're in my unit,

you gotta be in it all the way.



I thought you were man enough

to handle this shit.



Five decorated officers say

that you shot Roger.



They will check your blood

for intoxicants.



What are they gonna find?



You've been smoking PCP all day.



-You've been planning this all day.

-All week, son.



You talk, your blood gets to the lab.



You wanna take a walk?

You won't make it out of here.



If you're cool, you're a hero.



You're above suspicion.



Alonzo, there's two shots left.



We need to kill him now

and say Roger got him.



No, we ain't killing nobody.



This is a good man. I can feel it.



Just had a little freak-out,

that's all.



I say he's cool.



Nobody's gonna hurt him.



You do have a decision to make.



Because this place is gonna

be overrun with blue suits.



So why don't you please

go outside, clear your head.



Or shoot me.



Hey, Paul?



You're dead, motherfucker!

You hear me?! Dead!



Well, lay off the device.



All right.



Make sure that tub is clean.



All right?



All right, later.



You all right?



It behooves you not

to dick around on this one.



Justifiable homicide

in the line of duty.



-Now, what happened--

-What happened was murder.



And armed robbery.



We had badges, so it's different?



Son, open your eyes! Can't you see?



That man was your friend,

and you killed him like a fly.



My friend? Tell me why?



Because he knows my first name?



This is the game.

I played his ass.



That's our job.



Roger sold dope to kids.

The world's better off without him.



This man was the biggest

major violator in Los Angeles.



I watched that cocksucker for years

and now I got him.



This is chess, not checkers!



What'd you think?

We'd roll up in a black and white?



Slap the cuffs on him?



He's a high roller, dog.



-Take the money.

-I'm not taking it.



-Just take it.




Look, I don't give a fuck, but

the boys'll feel better.



Fuck their feelings!



Jake, we're a team.



A team?



You guys are fucking insane.



I'll go back to the Valley,

I'll cut parking tickets.



-It can't be like this.

-It is.



I'm sorry, but it is.



It's ugly, but it's necessary.



I became a cop to put away

dealers and criminals, not to be one.



You sound just like me.



I know what you're

going through and feeling.



-You're scared.

-I'm not.



Yes, you are. Everyone goes

through that the first time. I did.



The sooner you match

what's in your head...



...with what's in the real world...



...the better you'll feel.



In this business...


            gotta have dirt on you

to be trusted.



When all this is behind you, a whole

other world will open up for you.



I walk a higher path, son.



I have the keys to all the doors.



What do you mean?



My guys aren't leaders, they're clowns.

You're a leader.



You want my job?

You got it.



You want to lock up poisoners?

This is the place to do it.



But you gotta take your time.



You'll make detective,

you'll grow wise.



And then you can change things.



But it's gotta be from the inside.



Let's go downtown to the station.

Talk to my guy, Stan.



He'll go through what you

gotta say to the D.A.



What are we doing now?



I told an informant I'd take care

of his family for him.



Bring them food, stuff like that.



Gotta help out the family.



Believe it or not,

I do try to do some good.



You know where you're at, dog?



The fuck you looking at?



Hey, we got some things

for the family.



IKitchen's this way.



Put it on the counter.



-Where's the head?

-Right through.



I'm gonna go to the head.

Two seconds, we're gone.



Hey, let me get the CD player.



No, the CD player's mine.



Dreamer! Come here!



Count that shit, all right?



Thanks a lot, I was busy.



Learn how to count, fucking math whiz.



-You looked!

-I didn't.



You calling me a cheater, ése?



Deal again, Sniper.



You play cards, cop?



No, not really.



Want a beer?



Have a cold one.



No, thanks, I'm good.



Come on, sit down.

Play a card game with us.



Don't be rude, ése. You're a guest.



Why don't you play one hand?



Don't worry, we ain't betting money.



We gotta roll in a second.



Alonzo's taking a shit.



All right, I'll play one hand.



Is this five-card draw?



Yeah, jokers are wild.



Why don't you tell us something?



How long you been a pig?



My bad. My bad.



I meant a police officer.



I've been a pig for     months.



Is that right? You like it?



I should've been a fireman.

One more.



-What you got, dog?

-Three of a kind.



I didn't get shit.



Boo-ya, baby!



Two pair!



What the fuck?



He won.



I got two pair!



Three of a kind beats two pair,

you fucking dumb truck.



You're fucking stupid.

Take your medication.



Seriously. I know I'm number one.



See why we don't play for money?

Because of this vato.



-Show me your cohete.




Your gun, homes.

Underneath your shirt.



What is it, .    stainless?



- mm Beretta.

-Like that?



-Just like it.




Here's the problem.



I seen this one.

I want to see yours.



Come on, ése,

I ain't gonna shoot nobody.



Let me check it out.



Learn that in the Academy?



Neat trick.

This is nice.




You could fuck a vato up with this.



What you do is, you aim like that.



I'm just playing.



Yeah, I gotta go.




IKick back and party.



Ain't nothing out there for you.



What are you talking about?



Hey, white boy.



If you ask me homes,

that's just, of course, if you ask...



...Alonzo played you, ése.



Big time.



Wait, where you going?



It's your deal.



It's all there.




-You can count it yourself.



Alonzo pulled off a miracle.



Times are tight.

Scared up a lot of cash.



Who'd he jack, homes?



I don't know.



He jacked Roger.



Blasted that fool.



Alonzo's a low-down, ruthless vato.



But I like that.



That's why I never shake his hand.



He don't respect nada.



IKnow what the money's for?



Alonzo, he's a hothead.



Last week in Vegas, some Russian

starts talking shit.



Alonzo, he just snapped.



Beat his ass to death.



Turns out, that Russian,

he's a somebody.



Now, Alonzo's into the Russians

for a million.



How do you know that?



Alonzo has until tonight to pay up.



But he's still on their list.



Nobody thought he could

get the cash.



Good thing he did.

They're looking for him.



If he don't turn up downtown with

the cash by midnight....



Your vato...



...he's dead.



Hey, pig.



Ever had your shit pushed in?



Simple question.







-Had my shit pushed in.

-Yeah, man.



I had my shit pushed in, bro!



Big time!






Sure, I always get love

from the homeys.



You guys fucked him up!



Go next door.



Get the fuck out of here!



You fucked up.



You're under arrest!



For being a cop, dogging me

in the mouth in my own pad.



You got the right

to be bitch-slapped!



Drag him to the tub.



Punk motherfucker!



Raid his ass!



Do it!



It's gonna be loud.



Let me get his money.




-Hurry up.



Smiley, check it out.



Is that your little cousin?



-What's this?

-I found it!



-Who had it?

-I found it!






I found it in MacArthur Park!

MacArthur Park!



Wait up, I can't even see.



Shut the fuck up!



Get in your last prayer.



Listen to me, man.



She was being raped.



Two crackheads were attacking her...



...and I stopped them!

I swear to God!



-You're lying to me!

-I am not lying!



She was being raped!



I stopped them!



Please! I got a kid.



-Shut up, fag!

-Blast his ass.



I have a little girl!



Do it!



I'm gonna get to the bottom of your

bullshit. She's my cousin, homes.



Ain't right involving her.



You fucked up.



If you're lying to me...



...l blow your balls off.




-Hey, Letty.



-What's up?

-Hey, Smiley.



Just doing homework. You want Tony?



No, I want you.



-You go to school today?




-You didn't ditch?




I went to every class. Why?



I heard different.



Cops talk to you today?



-No, no.

-All right, Letty...



...don't bullshit me.



I got jumped by two crackheads.



-You got jumped?

-I think they wanted to rape me.



But nothing happened, okay?



Because this cop came.



They almost killed him...



...but he kicked their ass.



Describe him.



He was a white boy.

He looked real young.



-You're okay?

-Yeah, I'm fine.



-Hey, Letty.




We're not done.






What's up?



You gonna blast him?



Vato was telling the truth.



Life's a trip, qué no?



This is some trippy shit.



That's for getting my cousin's back.



Cover your head.

You'll mess up my floor.



You know this was just

business, right?









What you doing here?

You know you don't belong here.



-What's up?

-Must be lost, motherfucker!



Gonna need more than that

up in here, boy!



You got business here, rookie?



I'm here for Alonzo.



Hey. Is your dad home?



-In the bedroom.

-He's in the bedroom?



All right, you wanna open up the door?



Okay. Thanks. You watching TV?



Yeah, anything good on?



-Do you want me to call my mom?

-No, I don't.



I'll tell you what I want.



Find a good hiding spot.



Do you have a favorite place to hide?



-The closet.

-In the closet? That's perfect.



Okay, open up the closet.

All right. Good, good.



Can you sit down in there?



All right. Now stay in here

and be very quiet.



I'll be right back. All right?



It's all good, baby.



You, against the wall.



Move real slow.

Put the money in that bag...



...take your weapons and place them

inside that pillowcase.



Congratulations, son. You made it.



You passed the test. You're a narc.



Put the gun down before you give

her a heart attack.



I said put the money in that bag.



Place your weapons

inside that pillowcase.



Fuck your appointment

with the Russians.



Oh, okay.



Okay. Hand me the pillowcase, baby.



Baby! Hand me the pillowcase.



You're gonna book me?



You smoked the dust.



You ran out, and you're the one

that shot Roger.



-Here you go.

-And the one on your ankle?



Want the one in my back pocket too?



One problem: You got no witnesses.



Who are your witnesses, huh?

Roger? Smiley?



You think they'll help you?



It's not what you know.

It's what you can prove.



What can you prove, huh? Nothing.



-Where's your evidence?




Oh, shit!



It's on now, Jake.



Don't move.



Where you at, Jake?



Come on out, dog!



-Ah! I see you.




I'm surgical with this bitch.

How you want it?



That fool in the wheelchair?

How you think he got there?







You see what I see?



Officer Hoyt, job number one:

Preserve life.



There's my son. Don't hurt him.



We're walking out together.



Alonzito! Alonzito!



-You all right?

-I want my mommy.



I know, I know, I know.



Just sit tight, all right?



It's gonna be all right. I know.



Shut the fuck up!



All right, let me see your hands!

Where is he?



-The window.

-Come on!



-Get your kid, stay down.




Hey, man, you tripping?



It's no fun when the rabbit

has the gun, is it?



My nigga.



Hey, first Damu puts one

in his head...



...l'll make you a rich man!



Come on now.



Who wanna get paid?



Who wanna get paid?



They're not like you.



You know what I learned today?



-I'm not like you.

-That's good. I'm glad to hear that.



Good. So, what now? Huh?



What you gonna do, shoot me?



You gonna bust your cherry

killing a cop?



There it is, Jake.



Hit me.



You never killed nobody before.

It ain't like stepping on ants.



Takes a man to kill.



Are you man enough to kill?



Hit me right there.



Get me, Jake. Get me.

Hit me. Hit me.



You can't do it.

Somebody drop this fool for me.



You got us twisted.

You got to put your own work in.



-All right. It's like that, Bone?

-It's like that.



Player to player, pimp to pimp.



-I don't believe you'd shoot me.

-Don't do it.




-I don't believe you got it in you.



I'm gonna get that gun and that money.



You ain't gonna do a thing.



You ain't gonna shoot no cop

in the back.



-Don't do it.

-You know what you'd get?



The gas chamber.

You know what it smells like?



Pine oil. That's where you headed,

to pine oil heaven.



I'm gonna get that gun and that money.



I don't think you got it in you.

I'm gonna go get it.



Shit! Ah, you motherfucker!



The next one will kill you.



Son of a bitch!

You shot me in the ass!



Okay, wait, wait, wait.



Okay, okay.



All right. Come on, I need

the money. Give me the money.



-Give me that money!

-It's not gonna happen.



You gonna take my own money from me?



That's my evidence.

You wanna go to jail or go home?



I wanna go home, Jake.



Give me the money,

and let me go home.



-You wanna go home?

-Yeah, let me go home, Jake.



Give me the money,

and let me go.



Give me the money,

and let me go home, Jake.



That's right, come on.



You don't deserve this.



Okay, motherfucker.



Jake, go and bounce, homey.



Get up out of here. We got your back.






-It's like that.

-Oh, no, you didn't!



Wait a minute! No, you--

Hey, hey, Jake!



Hey! Jake! Jake!



Jake, come back here!






You disloyal, fool-ass,

bitch-made punk.



I need my money!






Oh, you motherfuckers! Okay.



All right! I'm putting cases

on all you bitches!



Huh? You think you can do this shit?




You think you can do this to me?!



You motherfuckers will be playing

basketball in Pelican Bay...



...when I get finished with you!



Shoe program, nigga!



Twenty-three hour lock-down!



I'm the man up in this piece!



Who you think you fucking with?!



I'm the police! I run shit here!

You just live here!



That's right, you better walk away.



I'm gonna burn this motherfucker down!



IKing IKong ain't got shit on me!



That's all right. That's all right.



Shit, I don't fuck--



I'm winning anyway. I'm winning.



I'm winning anyway. I can't lose.



Shit, you can shoot me,

but you can't kill me.



Oh, what a day.



What a motherfucking day!



An L.A. police officer

was killed today...



...serving a warrant near LAX.



An L.A.P.D. spokesperson

said Officer Harris...



... was survived by his wife

and four sons.



The highly decorated officer,

a   -year L.A.P.D. veteran....



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