True Romance Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the True Romance script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Quentin Tarantino movie starring Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette, along with Sam Jackson, Gary Oldman, Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, Brad Pitt, etc.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of True Romance. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

True Romance Script



[ Static, Needle Scratching Record ]



[ Rockabilly Beat ]



[ Man ]




Yes, I've never been

to Graceland



Never took that trip



[ Continues Singing, Indistinct ]



No, I never been to Vegas

'cept once on a plane



I never left the airport



Ain't goin' back again



Yes, I've never been

to Graceland



In Jailhouse Rock, he was

everything rockabilly's about.



Nah, nah. I mean,

he is rockabilly.



Mean, surly, nasty, rude.



In that movie, he couldn't

give a fuck about nothin'.

It's, like, rockin' and rollin',



livin' fast, dying young and leaving

a good-lookin' corpse.



Some people said he's crazy



I watched that hillbilly,

and I would wanna be him so bad.



Elvis looked good.



I mean, I ain't no fag, but Elvis

was prettier than most women, you know?



Most women.



You know, I always said

if I had to fuck a guy--



you know, I mean, had to--

if my life depended on it--



I'd fuck Elvis.



I'd fuck Elvis.



- Really?

- Well, when he was alive. Not now.



Well, I don't blame you.

So we'd, uh, we'd both fuck Elvis.



It's nice to meet people with

common interests, ain't it? Yeah.



Well, enough about the King.

How 'bout-- How 'bout you?



How 'bout me, what?



How 'bout you go to the movies

with me tonight?



- What are we gonna see?

- A Sonny Chiba triple feature.



The Street Fighter, Return of the Street

Fighter and Sister Street Fighter.



- Who's Sonny Chiba?

- Who is Sonny Chiba?



He is, bar none, the finest actor

working in martial arts movies today.



You wanna take me

to a kung fu movie?



Three kung fu movies.



I don't think so.

Not really my cup of tea.



Ah, all right.



[ Police Sirens Wailing, Distant ]



[ Woman ] I had to come all the

way from the highways and byways

of Tallahassee, Florida...



to Motor City, Detroit,

to find my true love.



If you gave me a million years

to ponder,



I would never have guessed

that true romance and Detroit

would ever go together.



And to this day, the events that

followed all seem like a distant dream.



But the dream was real and was

to change our lives forever.



[ Siren Wailing ]



I kept asking Clarence why our world

seemed to be collapsing...



and everything seemed so shitty,

and he'd say,



"That's the way it goes.



But don't forget:

It goes the other way too."



That's the way romance is.

Usually, that's the way it goes.



But every once in a while,

it goes the other way too.



[ Thunderclap In Movie ]



My heart beats,

and there's time.



[ Both Grunting ]



[ Thunderclaps Continue ]



[ Man Growling On Screen ]



[ Man ] Don't move, Tojo. You'll be

unconscious soon through lack of oxygen.



- It's an ancient technique.

- [ Man #  ] An oxygen--



[ Dramatic Orchestral ]



[ Gasps ] Oh, look what happened.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.



- That's okay. I'm fine.

- You okay?



Oh, Jesus. I'm the clumsiest person

in the world.



It's all right.

Accidents happen.



What a wonderful philosophy.

Thanks for being a sweetheart,



'cause you could've

been a real dick.



- [ Man On Screen ] Come on. Ready?

- [ Man #  ] Yes.



Larry, where are we going?



- [ Dialogue Continues, Indistinct ]

- [ Thunderclaps ]



Look, we don't know

what's going to be coming next.



- You mean, you're scared?

- Aren't you?



Hey, laundromat clothes!



- Mind if I smoke?

- No, no.



Listen, do you mind

filling me in on what I missed?



- [ Dialogue Continues ]

- No, no. Um--



Let's see. Uh, that guy up there,

that's Sonny Chiba.



- [ Woman ] The Oriental?

- [ Man ] Yeah. The one in black.



- Want a Goober?

- Uh, no-- Yeah.



- In the beginning of the movie,

he was hired to get this guy--

- You've got popcorn all over you.




That's all right.



- Is he supposed to be a good guy?

- Uh, well,



he ain't so much a good guy as

he is just a bad motherfucker.



He gets paid by people

to fuck guys up, you know?



- [ Karate Yells ]

- You came to see three kung fu movies?



- Sure. Why not?

- Nothin', nothin'.



It's just you're a girl

after my own heart, that's all.



- Do you know what time it is?

- It's about   :  .



I suppose you gotta

get up early, huh?



No, not particularly.

How come?



It's just after I see a movie, I like to

go get a piece of pie and talk about it.



It's sort of a little tradition

I have. Do you like to get pie

after you see a good movie?



Yeah, I love to get pie

after a movie.



Would like to go

get some pie with me?



Yeah, I'd love some pie.



[ Man ]

In my life



In that movie, he didn't

give a fuck about nothin'...



except rock 'n' roll, livin' fast, dyin'

young and leavin' a good-lookin' corpse.



Enough about the King.

How about you?



- How about me, what?

- Tell me-- Tell me about yourself.



What do you wanna know?



Well, for starters, uh, what

do you do, where are you from,

what's your favorite color,



who's your favorite movie star,

what kind of music do you like,



what are your turn-ons,

your turnoffs?



I guess the big question

is do you have a fella?



Okay. Ask me again,

one by one.



- What do you do?

- I don't remember.



- Where are you from?

- I don't know.



- What's your favorite color?

- I don't know. Black?



- Who's your favorite movie star?

- Burt Reynolds.



- You want a bite of my pie?

- Yes, I would. A little one.



All right. Oop.

You all right?



- It's good. You like it?

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.



- What kind of music you like?

- Phil Spector. Girl group stuff

like "He's a Rebel."



What are your turn-ons?



Mm, Mickey Rourke. A man

who can appreciate the finer

things in life, like sugar.



Elvis's voice,

kung fu, pot.



- Turnoffs?

- Turnoffs.



- Mm-hmm.

- Persians.



Do you, uh,

have a fella?



Ask me that one

a little bit later.



In a theater full of empty seats,

why did you sit by me?



'Cause you looked

like a nice guy.



So I had to dump my popcorn

all over you.



I'll get the check.

Where to next?



- Can I peek?

- Don't peek. Keep your eyes shut.



All right? All right.

I'm turnin' the lights on.



Okay. Open 'em.



Oh, wow! Wow,

what a swell place to work!



Yeah, it's pretty cool. I

got the keys, so I just come in,

read comics, play music.



- You worked here a long time?

- Almost four years.



- [ Whistles ] That's a long time.

- [ Sound System: Ballad ]



I know, but it's not so bad.

I mean, I'm pretty friendly

with most of the customers,



so I just hang out, you know,

bullshit, read comic books.



- You get paid a lot?

- Uh, no. That's where the

trouble comes into paradise.



But the boss, he's a pretty nice guy. He

lets you borrow money from time to time.



[ Man ]

To be lonely



- You wanna see what Spider-Man

number one looks like?

- You bet.



Just great stories,

great characters, beautiful artwork.



See, in this one here, Nick, he's

gotten this ring for his sweetheart,



and he wears it

around his neck on a chain.



And later on in the story, he gets in

this fight with this Nazi bastard.



And the Kraut, he grabs ahold of

the chain. The ring goes overboard.



- But I just don't know

- Nick, he dives

into the ocean to get it.



- [ Continues, Indistinct ]

- Isn't that cool?



- Haven't you heard

- Haven't you heard



Guess we're just

two wounded birds



Now we're both here



And we're alone



We still don't know



What it takes

Oh, girl



We wanna feel love



We're just so scared



I know we've got nothing



- But haven't you heard

- Haven't you heard



I guess we're just

two wounded birds



Oh, we wanna say it



- And can't find the words

- Can't find the words



I guess we're just

two wounded birds



[ Vocalizing ]



- [ Fades ]

- [ Sirens Wailing, Distant ]



[ Dog Barking, Distant ]



What is it? Are you cryin'?

What'd I do? Did I do somethin'?



- You didn't do nothin'.

- What is it?



I have something

I gotta tell you.



I didn't just happen to be at that

theater. I was paid to be there.



You were paid to be there?

Are you a theater checker?

You get paid to check up...



on the box office girls, make sure

they're not ripping the place off?



I'm not a theater checker.

I'm a call girl.



- You're a whore?

- No, I'm a call girl,

and there's a difference.



Here it goes. You know the place you

took me last night, the place you work?



- Heroes for Sale?

- You got a boss, right?



- Yeah.

- What's his name?



- Lance.

- That's him. He called

the place where I work.



He ordered a girl for you.

He said he wanted you to get laid,



seein' you didn't get out much

and it was your birthday and all.



He wanted me to act like I just

showed up. How did he know you

were gonna be at that theater?



Uh, well, I go to the movies

every year on my birthday.



In fact, he called me up

this week to find out what

my birthday movie was gonna be.



- You're not mad?

- No, man.



I can't tell you-- That's one of

the best times I ever had. It was.



I knew something must be rotten

in Denmark. There was no way

you could like me that much.



I can't tell you how relieved

I was when you took off your

dress, you didn't have a dick.



Stop being so fucking calm about

all this! Go look in your house!



There's a note on your TV.

It says "Dear Clarence," 'cause

I couldn't write any more.



So I just said, "Alabama, come clean

and just tell him what's what.



And if he tells you to go back

to Drexl and fuck yourself, then

go back and fuck yourself."



- Drexl? What's a Drexl?

- Please shut up! I'm trying

to come clean, okay?



I've been a call girl for exactly four

days, and you're my third customer.



I want you to know

that I am not damaged goods.



I'm not what they call in Florida

"white trash." I'm a really good person.



And when it comes

to relationships,



I'm    %--



I'm    % monogamous.



- You stay with one guy?

- Exactly.



If I'm with you, then I'm with you,

and I don't want anybody else.



Now, I gotta tell you something else.

When you said last night...



was one of the best times you ever had,

did you mean physically?



Well, yeah. Yeah, but I'm talking

about the whole night.



I mean, I never had as much fun with a

girl as I had with you in my whole life.



It's true.

You like Elvis. You like Janis.



You like kung fu movies.

You like The Partridge Family.



- Star Trek.

- Actually, I don't

like The Partridge Family.



That was part of the act.



Clarence-- and I feel

really goofy saying this...



after only knowing you

one night...



and me being a call girl

and all--



but I think I love you.



Wait a second.



Look, I've been tryin' to keep

this whole thing in perspective.



You just said you love me. Now,

if I say I love you and just

throw caution to the wind...



and let the chips fall where

they may, and you're lyin'

to me, I'm gonna fuckin' die.



I'm not lyin' to you,

and I swear from this moment forth,



I'll never lie to you again.



- Whoo-hoo! Well, hello, Mrs.Worley.

- How do you do, Mr.Worley?



- Top of the mornin' to ya, Mrs.Worley.

- Bottom of the ninth, Mr.Worley.



- By the way, have you seen your

lovely little wife today?

- Are you speaking...



of my beautiful, charming, sexy wife,

Mrs. Alabama Worley?



- Why, are there any others, Mr.Worley?

- No. None for me. No.



- No. No.

- Yes. Yes.



[ Rock ]



- It's a nice day for a white wedding

- [ Alabama ] Excuse me.



Do you think you could turn down

the heat just a teeny bit?



It's a nice day

to start again



'Bama, I gotta ask you a question.

Who and what is a Drexl?



- Shh.

- Huh?



- He was my pimp.

- You had a pimp?



- I was a call girl.

Call girls have pimps.

- Was he black?



He thinks he is. He said his mama was

an Apache, but I suspect he's lyin'.



- Is he nice?

- [ Laughs ] I wouldn't go

so far as to call him nice,



but he treated me

pretty decent.



I was only there for four days.

He got a little bit rough the other day.



- What do you mean? With you?

- No. My friend Arlene.



- What did he do to Arlene?

- Slapped her around

a little bit, kicked her.



- It was pretty scary.

- This motherfucker sounds beautiful.



What'd you do to end up

with a son of a bitch like that?



[ Pulsating Rap ]



- What you motherfuckers talkin' about?

- Floyd say he don't be eatin' pussy.



Drexl, shit. Any nigga say he don't

eat pussy is lyin' his ass off.



- I heard that.

- Hold on a second, Big "D."

You sayin' you eat pussy?



Yeah, motherfucker. I eat everything.

I eat pussy. I eat the butt.



- I eat every motherfuckin' thing.

- If I ever did eat some pussy--



I would never eat any pussy, right?

But if I did eat some pussy,



I sure as hell wouldn't

tell no-goddamn-body about it.



- I'd be ashamed as a motherfucker, man.

- Nigga, you smoke enough Sherm,



your dumb ass'll do a lot

of motherfuckin' things.



You'd be up in there

suckin' niggas' dicks!



- Oh.

- Yo, man! Fuck you guys!



- You guys is fucked up.

- Yo, yo, why you trippin'?

We just fuckin' with you.



In fact, I'm gonna show you what I mean

with a little demonstration.



Toss me the burner.



- [ Rap Continues, Indistinct ]

- All right. Peep this.



Pretend it's

that fine centerfold bitch.



Know what I'm sayin'?

And you're you.



You say it ain't tough I got ya

I can't get enough, Get it



Get it, get it



Get it



[ Grunting To Beat ]



- [ Yelling In Japanese ]

- [ All Grunting ]



[ Imitating Karate Yells, Explosions,

Japanese Dialogue ]



- [ Man Yelling On Screen ]

- Ooh! [ Imitates Explosion ]



- Honey, where are you going?

- Bathroom.



- [ Shouting, Explosions Continue ]

- [ Humming ]



- Johnny!

- [ Alabama Responding In Gibberish ]



- [ Gasps ] Oh.

- [ Man ] I'm so lonely



I'm so lonely



I'm so lonely

I could die



- Well, can you live with it?

- What?



- I said, can you live with it?

- Live with what?



That son of a bitch walkin' around,

breathing the same air as you,



gettin' away

with it every day.



- Are you haunted?

- Yeah.



- You wanna get un-haunted?

- Oh, yeah.



Well, I'd kill him,

shoot him in the face,



put him down like a dog.



- I can't believe what you're tellin' me.

- I'm just sayin' what I'd do.



- You'd do that?

- Fuck don't deserve to live.



[ Exhales ] Look, he's hauntin' me,

you know? I mean,



I do wanna kill him, but I don't wanna

spend the rest of my life in jail.



- Hey, man, I don't blame you.

- If I thought I'd get away with it--



Get away with it?

Killing's the hard part.



Gettin' away with it, that's easy. You

think a cop gives a fuck about a pimp?



Listen. Every pimp

in the world gets shot.



Two in the back of the fuckin' head.

Cops'd throw a party, man.



As long as you're not at the scene of

the crime, smokin' gun in your hand,



you'd get away with it.



Clarence, I like you.

I always have.



Always will.



[ Breathing Heavily ]



[ Sirens Wailing, Distant ]



- 'Bama.

- Where are you goin'?



I need you to

write down your former address.



- Why?

- Well, so I can go over there

and pick up your stuff.



Oh, baby. Come on, Clarence.

I just wanna disappear from there.



Look, 'Bama, I know he scares

the shit out of you, but I'm

not scared of that motherfucker.



You are completely out of his reach.

He poses no threat to you.



If he doesn't matter, which he

doesn't, it would seem silly--

you to lose all your things.



- Now, that's all.

- Shh. Listen.



- You don't know him.

- No. You don't know me,



not when it comes

to shit like this.



I need to do this. I want you to know

that you can count on me to protect you.



Come on. Please.

Just write it down.



- This isn't a good idea.

- I tell ya, it's gonna be fine.



I'll be in and out

of there.



- Be careful.

- I will.



- I love you.

- Love you too.



[ Pulsating Techno Beat ]



- You want something?

- Hey. You Drexl?



- No, man. I'm Marty.

- Well, I wanna talk to Drexl.



- What the fuck you wanna

talk to him about?

- It's about Alabama.



[ Continues ]



[ Man Rapping, Indistinct ]



He was askin'

about Alabama.



- Where the fuck is that bitch?

- She's with me.



- Who the fuck are you?

- I'm her husband.



Well, that makes us

practically related.



You have a seat, boy.

Grab yourself a'egg roll.



We got everything here from

a Little-Eyed Joe to damned if I know.



No, thanks.



"No, thanks"?

What that mean, hmm?



- I think you're too scared to be eatin'.

- [ Snaps Fingers ]



Now, see, we're sittin' down here,

ready to negotiate,



and you've already

given up your shit.



I'm still a mystery to you,

but I know exactly where

your white ass is comin' from.



See, if I ask if you want some

dinner and you grab a' egg roll

and start to chow down,



I say to myself, this motherfucker, he's

carryin' on like he ain't got a care.



And who knows?

Maybe he don't.



Maybe this fool is such

a bad motherfucker, he don't

got to worry about nothin'.



He just sit down,

watch my motherfuckin' TV.






You ain't even

sat down yet.



Man, that TV over there-- Since

you been in the room, there's

a woman with her "breastuses"...



hangin' out, and you ain't

even bothered to look.



You just been clockin' me.



I know I'm pretty,



but I ain't as pretty

as a couple of titties.



[ Laughs Mockingly ]

Ooh, wee! This child be fierce.



I'm not eatin' 'cause I'm not hungry.

I'm not sittin' 'cause I'm not stayin'.



I ain't lookin' at the movie 'cause I

already seen it seven years ago.



It's The Mack. Max Julian,

Carol Speed and Richard Pryor.



I ain't scared of ya.

I just don't like ya.



In that envelope right there

is some payoff money. Alabama

is movin' to greener pastures.



We're not negotiatin'. I don't

barter. What's in that envelope

is for my peace of mind.



My peace of mind is worth that much,

not one penny more.



It's empty.



Marty, you know

what we got here?




Charlie Bronson.






Lookie here, Charlie.



None of this bullshit is necessary.

I don't got no hold over Alabama.



I was just tryin'

to lend the girl a helpin' hand.



- [ Yelling ]

- [ Onlookers Screaming ]



[ Man Screams ]



- Come here, you mother--

- [ Screams ]



[ Grunting ]



This is what you get...



if you fuck with me,

white boy!



Talkin' that smack in front

of my motherfuckin' freaks!



Shit, motherfucker!

Your ass gotta be crazy!



[ Panting ]



You must've thought

it was white boy day, huh?



- It ain't white boy day, is it?

- No, man. It ain't white boy day.



Shit, man. You done

fucked up again. Huh?



[ Clarence Grunts ]



Well, well, well.

Lookie what we got here.



"Clarence Worley"?



It sounds almost like a nigger name.

And I know where you live.



     -     Street,

apartment   .



And I make a million-dollar bet

that Alabama is at the same address.



Marty, take the car. Go get her.

Bring her dumb ass back here.



- I think I'll keep lover boy

here entertained.

- Roxanne, where's my jacket?



- Hey, Roxanne!

- Hey, Marty, what the fuck

are you doin'?



- I gotta find my jacket.

- Look in the fuckin' hamper.



- [ Gunshot ]

- [ Women Screaming ]






You! Get a bag

and put Alabama's things in it.



Wanna get fuckin' shot? Get a bag

and put Alabama's things in it.



I just did you the biggest fuckin' favor

of your life!



Open your eyes. I said,

open your fuckin' eyes!



You thought it was pretty

fuckin' funny, didn't you?



Well, fuck you!

Fuck you, you piece of shit!



Don't fuckin' move!



I was selfish.

I know I was selfish.



I was, but I was

carrying your child.



[ Woman On TV ]

Please don't leave.



And if I told you--



I killed him.

Want a hamburger or somethin'?

I'm fuckin' starvin' to death.



- Is this a joke?

- No joke.



Mmm. That's probably the best

goddamn fuckin' hamburger

I ever had in my entire life.



I've never had a hamburger

taste this good.



Come on. Eat something.

You'll feel better.



[ Woman On TV ]

You and I had this one night.



What the fuck you cryin' for, huh?




I mean, Christ, he's not worth

one of your tears.



Would you rather it have been me?

Is that it, huh?



Is that what you want? I mean,

do you love him? Do you love him?



I said,

do you fuckin' love him, huh?



- I think what you did wa--

- What?

- I think what you did...



- What?

- was so romantic.



- Yeah.

- [ Gasps ]



- Oh, baby, you're bleeding.

- Yeah.



I got your things

right here.



- Clean clothes.

- Uh-huh.



- I love you.

- I love you.



There's a God.






[ TV Chatter Continues ]



The-- These

aren't my clothes.



A little bitty tear

let me down



Spoilin' my act

as a clown



I was all made up

not to frown



But a little bitty tear

let me down



A little bitty tear

let me down



Spoilin' my act as a clown



Rommel, where are you?

Come here. Come on, boy.



Get in here. You get in here now.

Get in there. Go on.



[ Man On Radio ]

You said you were leavin' tomorrow



That today was our last day



I said

there'd be no sorrow



That I'd laugh

when you walked away



- [ Horn Sounding ]

- A little bitty tear let me down



Spoiled my act as a clown



I had it made up

not to make a frown



But a little bitty tear

let me down



Good mornin', Daddy.

Hey, Rommel.



Long time, no see, huh?

Oh, yeah. Good boy. Good boy.



Now, you're gonna

have to excuse the place.



I haven't been exactly doin'

a lot of entertainment...



of company as of late.



I'm sorry if I seem

a little tense,



but you're the last person in the world

that I expected to see this morning.



That's okay, Dad. I tend to

have that effect on people.



You, uh, you got anything to drink

around here? I'm dyin' of thirst.



There should be--

There should be a  UP in there.



Anything stronger? Probably not.

Beer? You can drink beer, can't you?



I can, but I don't.



Yeah, that's

about all I ever eat.



- [ Woman Singing On Radio ]

- Excuse me. [ Laughs ]



Hello, hello, hello.

I'm his father.



- How are you?

- That's all right.

I'm his wife, Alabama Worley.



- Pleased to meet ya.

- We got married.



- [ Laughs ]

- Yeah.



Well, lover, why don't you be a sport

and go get us some beer?



You want some beer? I mean,

if you want some, it'll be here.



All right? Where is there

a liquor store around here?



There's a party store

down on   th Street.



Get a six-pack

of somethin' imported.



Hard to tell you what to get,

'cause different places

have different things. Here.



- That should cover it. Okey-dokey.

- Okey-dokey, Doggy Daddy.






[ Rommel Whimpers ]



Ain't she the sweetest goddamn thing

you ever saw in your whole life?



I mean, she--

she a four-alarm fire or what?



- She seems very nice.

- Nice?



Daddy, "nice" ain't the word. I mean,

this girl, she's a peach, you know?



She even tastes like a peach.



You can tell I'm in love with her,

can't you?



No. Wait.

I gotta talk.




sit down, shut up.



You're givin' me

a fuckin' headache.



I mean, you're so much like your mother

I can't believe it.



You're your fuckin' mother

through and through. I haven't

heard from you in three years.



You show up all of a sudden

at  :   in the morning.



You walk in here

like a goddamn bulldozer.



And don't get me wrong.

I love you. I'm glad to see you.



But slow it down, man.



All right?



- [ Radio: Continues, Indistinct ]

- Now,



when did you get married?



Daddy, uh...



I'm in big fuckin' trouble.



I really need your help.



No, no, no, no.

Stop talking.



- What do you want from me?

- What?



What do you want from me?

Stop acting like an infant.



You're here because you want me

to help you in some way. What

do you need from me? Money?



- No. You still

have friends on the force?

- Yes, I still have friends.



Well, then, could you just

find out if they know anything

about us? I don't think...



they know shit, but I don't wanna think;

I wanna know for sure.



- You could do that, right?

- What makes you think

that I could do that?



- 'Cause you were a cop.

- But what makes you think

that I would do that?



- 'Cause I'm your son.

- Oh, you're my son.



Oh, you got it, huh,

all worked out, don't you, huh?



- Oh, yeah.

- Look. I mean, goddamn, I have never

asked you for a goddamn thing.



But Jesus fuckin' Christ,

after Mom divorced you, did I

ever ask you for anything?



No, I didn't. When I wouldn't see you

for a year and a half to two years,



did I ever get

in your shit about it?



And that whole fuckin' time you

were drunk, did I ever get mad

and point my finger at you?



No, I never did.

Everybody else did, but I didn't.



Now, look. I just need help, and you can

fuckin' help me, all right?



Now, I'm basically

a pretty resourceful guy. If I

didn't need it, I wouldn't ask.



I mean, if you wanna say no,

then fine, forget it.



Don't worry about it.

No problem. I'm goin'. All right?



[ Horn Honking ]



The Virgin's back!



Thank God. I could eat a horse if you

slapped enough ketchup on it.



- I didn't get you any chicken.

- Well, how come?



Honey, it's too early in the morning.

It's only  :  .



Son of a bitch.



- Dick Ritchie. Dick Ritchie!

- That's me. I'm me.



- Come inside.

- Okay.



Sit. Sit, sit, sit.



Now, the part you'll be reading

for is one of the bad guys.



- There's Brian and Marty.

- Who?



- Is there a problem?

- No. No.



Peter Breck has already been cast

in the part of Brian.



So you'll be reading

for the role of Marty.



In this scene,

you're both in a car,



and Bill Shatner

is hanging on the hood.



What you wanna do

is get him off.



All right. I'm Marty.



- Ready?

- Yeah. Okay.



I'm driving. Okay.



- Where the fuck did he come from?

- I don't know.



- He just appeared like magic.

- Well, don't just sit there.



Shoot him.



Get him!



Thank you, Mr.Ritchie. I'm very

impressed. You're a very fine actor.



- Thank you.

- Thank you.



- We'll let you know.

- Okay.



- Okay, one-handed.

- One-handed. There we go. Oh!



- [ Laughing ]

- Then the other one there.



Here comes the train.



Well, they found nothing.



In fact,

they think it's drug related.



Uh, drug related?

Why drug related?



Well, apparently, Drexl had

his big toe stuck in that shit.



- Really?

- Drexl had an association with

a fellow named Blue Lou Boyle.



- Name mean anything to you?

- No.



Well, if you don't hang around

his circle, no reason it should.



- Why? Who is he?

- Gangster, drug dealer.



Somebody that you don't want on

your ass. Now, look, Clarence,



the more I hear

about this Drexl fucker,



the more I think

you did the right thing.



This guy wasn't

just some wild flake.



No, man. That's what I

was trying to tell you before.



The guy was like

a mad dog.



So, the cops, they don't think--

They're not after us.



No. Until they hear

something better,



they'll just assume Drexl had

a falling-out with Blue Lou.



And once you leave town,

I wouldn't even worry about it.



Thanks a lot, Daddy.

You really came through for me.



I got some money I could give you.



No. Keep it. Keep it.



Well, now, son,



I want you

to know that, uh,



I hope everything works out

with you and Alabama.



I like her.



And I think you...

make a real cute couple.



Yeah, well, now, you--

you stay out of trouble.






Remember, you got a--you got

a wife to think about now.



Quit fuckin' around.






I love you.



- All right.

- All right.



This is my friend Dick Ritchie's number

and address in Hollywood.



That's where

we're gonna be.



You can get in touch

with me through him.



Come on, Alabama.

We're taking off. Kiss Pops good-bye.



Bye, Daddy.

Hope to see you again soon.



Hey! Hey! What kind

of smackaroo is that?



- We'll send you a postcard

from Hollywood, all right?

- Alabama.



- Alabama.

- Yes, sir?



- Take care of that one for me.

- Don't worry, Daddy.



- I'm gonna keep this fellow

on a short leash.

- As the sun sets...



slowly in the West,

we bid you a fond farewell.



- [ Alabama ] Bye, Daddy!

- See you later, Pops!



Son of a bitch was right.



She tastes like a peach.

Come on, Rommel!



Come on, boy!

Come on! Come on!



[ Ringing ]






- Hello, baby!

- [ Man On Radio ] Hello, baby!



- Clarence?

- You got it.



Clarence, it's great to hear from you.

What's going on?



- Well, you are gonna

be seeing me shortly.

- You're coming to L.A.? When?



Uh, tomorrow.



There is a story behind all that.

I will tell you when I see you.



And by the way, I ain't gonna be alone.

I am bringing my lovely wife.



Get the fuck out of here.

Clarence, you got married?



- I'm a married man, buddy.

- Chantilly lace



I'm a married man. You wanna say hello

to my better half? Come here.



- Hi, Dick. This is Alabama Worley.

- How you doing, Alabama?



Hi. Clarence told me all about you.

He said you were his best friend.



- So I guess that makes you

my best friend too.

- Tell him we gotta go.



- Clarence says we gotta be going.

- Can I speak to Clarence?



- Ask him if he got the letter.

- Did you get the letter?



- What letter?

- What letter?



- Letters.

- Letters.



- I didn't get any letter.

- Has he gotten his mail yet?



- Have you gotten your mail yet?

- Well, no. My roommate Floyd--



- Has he looked through it?

- Have you looked through it? No.



Tell him to go

look through it.



Go and, uh--

Go look through it.



Wait. Can I speak

to Clarence, please?



- He wants to talk to you.

- No time. Tell him we gotta go.



- No time. Read the letter.

- Read the letter.



Tell him I love him.

Tell him as of tomorrow--



- He loves you. Honey, hold this.

- All right.



- As of tomorrow, all of

his money problems...

- As of tomorrow,



- are gonna be over.

- all your money problems

are gonna be... over.




What money problems?



Hello? Hello?



You know what I like



Chantilly lace

and a pretty face



A ponytail hangin' down



A wiggle in the walk

and a giggle in the talk, Lord



Make the world go 'round



Floyd, you used up the last piece

of toilet paper!



Make me act so funny

Make me spend my money



Make me feel real loose

like a long-necked goose



Oh, baby

that's-a what I like



Hey! Hey! Rommel!



Hey, come here!

Rommel! Rommel!



Frankie, tell Luca to go outside

and do you know what.



[ Speaking Italian ]



Do you know who I am,




I give up. Who are you?



I'm the Antichrist.

You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.



You tell the angels in heaven

you've never seen evil

so singularly personified...



as you did in the face

of the man who killed you.



My name is Vincent Coccotti. I work

as counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle,



the man

your son stole from.



I hear you were once a cop, so I

can assume you have heard of us before.



- Am I correct?

- I've heard of Blue Lou Boyle.



I'm glad.



Hopefully, that will clear up

the "how full of shit am I" question...



you've been asking yourself.



We're gonna have

a little Q and A.



And at the risk of

sounding redundant,



please make

your answers genuine.



You want a Chesterfield?






I have a son of my own,

about your boy's age.



I can imagine how painful

this must be for you.



But Clarence...



and that bitch of a girlfriend of his

brought this all on themselves.



I implore you not to go down

that road with them.



You could always take comfort

in the fact you never had a choice.



Look, I'd like to help you if I could,

but I haven't seen Clarence.



- You see that?

- Ah, shit!



- Fuck!

- That smarts, doesn't it?



To get slammed in the nose.



Fucks you all up.



You get that pain shooting through your

brain. Your eyes fill up with water.



That ain't any kind of fun.



But what I have to offer you,

that's as good as it's gonna get.



And it won't ever

get that good again.



We talked to your neighbors.

They saw a Cadillac.



Purple Cadillac.



Clarence's purple Cadillac, parked

in front of your trailer yesterday.




you seen your son?



- I've seen him.

- I can't be sure...



of how much

of what he told you, so...



in the chance you're in the dark

about some of this,



let me shed some light.



That whore your boy

hangs around with,



her pimp

is an associate of mine.



Among his pimping

and other affairs,



he works for me

in a courier capacity.



Well, apparently,



that dirty little whore found out

we were gonna do some business...



'cause your son,

the cowboy, and his flame...



came into the room blazing

and didn't stop...



until they were pretty sure

everybody was dead.



What are you

talking about?



I'm talking

about a massacre.



They snatched my narcotics.



Hightailed it out of there.

Would have got away with it,



but your son,

fuck-head that he is,



left his driver's license

in the dead guy's hand.



- You know, I don't believe you.

- That's of minor importance.



What is of major fucking importance

is that I believe you.



Where did they go?



On their honeymoon.



I'm getting angry asking

the same question a second time.



- Where did they go?

- They didn't tell me.



You just wait a minute

and listen to me.



I haven't seen Clarence

in three years.



He shows up yesterday...



with a young girl,

saying that he got married.



He asked for, uh,



some quick cash

to go on a honeymoon.



He asked me

if he could borrow $   .



I felt like helping him,

so I wrote him out a check.



We went to breakfast

in the morning.



And that's the last

I saw of him,



so help me God.



They never thought to tell me

where they were going.



And I never

thought to ask.






Don Vincenzo.

[ Speaking Italian ]



[ Italian ]



You know,

Sicilians are great liars.



The best in the world.



I'm Sicilian.



My father was the world heavyweight

champion of Sicilian liars.



From growing up with him,

I learned the pantomime.



There are    different things a guy can

do when he lies to give himself away.



A guy's got    pantomimes.

A woman's got   .



A guy's got   . But if you know them

like you know your own face,



they'd beat lie detectors

all to hell.



Now, what we got here is

a little game of show-and-tell.



You don't wanna show me nothing,

but you're telling me everything.



I know you know where they are,

so... tell me...



before I do some damage

you won't walk away from.



Could I have one

of those Chesterfields now?






You got a... match?

No. Wait. No, no.



Don't bother.

I got one.



- You're Sicilian, huh?

- Yeah. Sicilian.



[ Chuckling ]

You know...



I read a lot,



especially about things--

about history.



I find that shit fascinating.



Here's a fact I don't know

whether you know or not.



Sicilians were

spawned by niggers.



Come again?



No, it's-- it's a fact.

Yeah. You see, uh,



Sicilians have, uh,



black blood pumping

through their hearts.



If you-- If you don't believe me,

uh, you can look it up.



Hundreds and hundreds

of years ago, uh, you see, um,



the Moors conquered Sicily.



And the Moors are niggers.



You see, way back then, uh,



Sicilians were like, uh,

wops from northern Italy.



They all had blond hair

and blue eyes.



But, uh, well--



then the Moors moved

in there, and...



well, they changed

the whole country.



They did so much fucking

with Sicilian women...



that they changed

the whole bloodline forever.



That's why...



blond hair and blue eyes

became black hair and dark skin.



You know, it's absolutely

amazing to me...



to think that to this day,

hundreds of years later,



that-- that Sicilians...



still carry that nigger gene.



Now, this--



No, I'm quoting history.



It's written.

It's a fact. It's written.



- I love this guy.

- No.



Your ancestors are niggers. Huh?









And-- And your great-great-great-great-




fucked a nigger.



Yeah. And she had

a half-nigger kid.



Now, if that's

a fact, tell me,



am I lying?



'Cause you--



you're part eggplant.



Huh? Hey, hey, hey.



You're a cantaloupe.



That's beautiful.



I haven't killed anybody...



since     .



Go to this comedian's

son's apartment.



Come back with something

that tells me where that asshole went...



so I can wipe

this egg off my face.



Fix this fucked-up

family for good.



Hey, boss.



Get ready to be happy.



[ Man On Radio ] Morning, everybody.

It's  :   here in L.A.



I'm David Perry

at K.B.L.U.



[ Rock ]



[ Knocking ]



[ Alabama ]

Hello? Hi.



[ Knocking Continues ]



- [ Alabama Speaking, Indistinct ]

- Floyd.



Floyd. Can't you answer

the door at least for me?



Oh, man, I didn't

even hear it.



- [ Banging ]

- Hello?



- You can't help me out

every now and then?

- Hi.






- You call for a date?

- Huh?



- Hey!

- I knew it was you! How you doing?



- Dick, this is Alabama.

Alabama, this is Dick.

- Nice to meet you.



- How long have you been living here?

- Hi. I'm Alabama.



- Clarence, you look good.

- This is a great place. This is nice.



I'm starving. Let's get something

to eat. Who's this?



- [ Dick ] It's Floyd.

- [ Clarence ] Floyd. Let's go.



Okay, Floyd, watch yourself.

Be careful.






[ Screaming ]



[ Rock Continues ]



Hey, I didn't

tell you guys yet?



I had this really, really good audition

for TJ Hooker the other day.



- You're gonna be on TJ Hooker?

- Yeah. It's the new TJ Hooker.



- Knock on wood.

- You get to meet Captain Kirk?



Well, you don't get

to meet him in the audition.



But if I get the part--

Hope, hope.



- That would be amazing.

- It would be cool. It would be a real--



Meeting Captain Kirk,

that would be cool.



Here we are.



- [ Horn Honks ]

- Oh!



The honeymoon suite.



You're really in love,

aren't you?



Very first time in my life.

You know what that's like?






- Nah.

- Shut the fuck up. Hey.



What are you doing

in L.A. anyway, huh?



Holy Mary,

Mother of God.



This shit

can't be real.



- It'll get you high.

- What?



- I said, it'll get you high.

- [ Alabama ] Hey, we got cable.



- You want some wine, sweetheart?

- Yeah, just a little bit.



I'm not much

of a wine gal.



This stuff is fucking real.

This is fucking real, Clarence.



- I certainly hope so.

- You've got a hell

of a lot of cocaine here, man.



- I know.

- Do you realize how much

fucking coke you have here?



No. Tell me.



I don't know,

but it's a fucking lot.



This is--

This is Drexl's coke?



No, Drexl's dead, you see.

It's Clarence's coke.



And Clarence, he can do whatever

he wants with it.



What Clarence wants to do

is to sell it.



Then me and 'Bama, we're gonna

jump a jet plane and spend the

rest of our lives spending it.



You got my letter?

You lined up buyers for me?



- Listen, Clarence,

I'm not Joe Cocaine, okay?

- You're an actor.



I hear these Hollywood guys get it

delivered to the set all the time.



Well, they do, all right?

They do.



And maybe one day, when I start

being a successful actor,

I'll be like one of those guys.



But until that day,

I ain't got nothing.



I don't have a pot to piss in

or a window to throw it out.

All I got is fucking Floyd.



If you want me to help you sell a little

bit at a time, that's all I can do.



No, no. None of that

little-bit-at-a-time shit.



It's got to be the whole

enchilada in one shot, and

that's the way it's gotta be.



Clarence, do you have any idea

how difficult that's gonna be?



What the fuck

are you talking about?



I'm offering half a million

dollars' worth of white for

    grand. That's difficult?



Very difficult. That's very difficult,

do you understand?



It's difficult because you're selling

to a particular group.



Fat cats. Big shots.

Guys who can afford $      .



And guys who can use a whole

fucking suitcase full of cocaine.



Basically, Clarence,

guys I don't know.



And guys you don't know. And more

importantly, they don't know you.



Come on, Dick.



Okay, Clarence. Listen.



There's one guy that I know that can

help you out, Clarence,



but... I'm not

guaranteeing you anything.



Is he big league?



No. He's not big league.




But he works as an assistant to a very

big movie producer named Lee Donowitz.



Lee Donowitz could afford

and can use...



$       worth of coke,



- being that that's what you have.

- So what did you tell him?



What the fuck you expect me

to tell him, huh?



I didn't know what the hell

was bullshit and what wasn't.



And besides, Floyd smoked

the second page of the letter. Okay?



What's this

acting class guy's name?






Elliot what?



Elliot Blitzer.



Okay, we'll get him on the phone

and we'll arrange a meeting...



so we can get through all this

getting-to-know-you stuff.



- Where?

- Where should we meet?



- Roller coaster.

- Roller coasters.



So, you got, uh--you got

$       worth of cola...



that you're unloading

for $      .



- You want an animal cracker?

- Um, thanks.




Save the gorillas.






That's all right.

Anyway, thanks.



So, you got--you got

$       worth of cola...



that you're unloading

for $      .



"Unloading." That is a hell of a way

to describe the bargain of a lifetime.



Where did you get it?



Where did I get it?



I, uh-- I grow it

on my windowsill.



See, the light's really good up there.

I'm up high enough off the street...



so you can't see it.



- It works perfectly.

- Yeah.



Where, really--

where does it come from?



- Where does it come from? Coca leaves.

- Yeah.



- You know what? I'm out of here.

- Elliot, chill out.



Sit down here. All right?

We're both here.



We might as well enjoy the ride. I'll

tell you, okay? But keep it quiet.



If Dick didn't ensure me you're

good people, I'd just tell you,

"None of your fucking business."



- Okay, okay, okay.

- This is gonna be fun.



Let's go!



[ Clarence ] The truth of the matter is,

I got a friend in the department.



What department?



"What department?"

What do you think, eight ball?



- The police department?

- Give the man a prize!



About a year and a half ago, this friend

of mine got access to the evidence room,



and he snagged this coke, but he's

a good cop with a wife and a kid.



So he held on to it

for about a year and a half,



- until he found a guy he could trust.

- And he trusts you?



Yeah. We were in  -H together.

We've known each other since

childhood. I'm handling sales.



He's my silent partner. He knows if I

get fucked up, I won't drop dime on him.



- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

- Okay? Now, no further, you understand?



He's kind of paranoid. I didn't tell

you nothing. You didn't hear nothing.



I didn't hear nothing!



Here we go!



Ride it out, baby!






We're going in for another one!

Hang on, Elliot! Whoo!



Oh, yeah, we got this puppy.

This was a good idea.



Elliot looks a little green.



Elliot, do I look like

a beautiful blond with big tits...



and an ass that tastes

like French vanilla ice cream?






Do I look like a beautiful blond

with big tits...



and an ass that tastes like

French vanilla ice cream?






No. Okay, then why are you telling me

all this bullshit, huh?



- What, you wanna fuck me?

- [ Dick ] Clarence.



- He's sick.

- Let me handle this, all right?



Look. You know what?

Just get it straight.



Lee is not

into taking risks, okay?



He's got a couple of guys.

He's been dealing with them for years.



They're reliable, they're dependable,

and they're safe.



Riddle me this, Batman.



If you're all so much in love with each

other, what the hell are you doing here?



I'm sure you got better things

to do with your time...



than hang around upside down

on a roller coaster all day.



Your guy is interested because with

that much shit at his fingertips,



he could play Joe-fucking-Hollywood

until the wheels come off.



He can sell it.

He can snort it.



He can play Santa Claus with it

as far as I'm concerned.



At the price he's paying, he's gonna be

able to afford to just throw it around.



He's gonna be everybody's

best friend, all right?



I mean, I'm not

putting him down here.



It's his money. Let him do

whatever the hell he wants.



But don't expect me and my friends

to hang around forever,



waiting for you guys

to grow some guts.



[ Phone Ringing ]



- Yeah, hello?

- Hi, Lee.



Elliot, it's Sunday. Can you tell me

why I'm talking to you on Sunday?



I don't see enough of you all week,

I gotta talk to you on Sunday too?



I'm with that party that you wanted me

to get together with, Lee.



- You know who I'm talking about?

- I don't believe this.



Elliot, why the hell are you

talking to me on my phone about that?



Well, because I'm standing--

I'm standing with the guy,



and he insists

on talking to you.



Are you out

of your fucking mind?



He said that if I didn't

get you on the phone, he would--



Hello, Lee. It's Clarence.

At last we speak.



First of all, Lee,

I'm a really big fan of yours.



That's why I wanna open

Dr.Zhivago in L.A.



And I need you and your abilities

to distribute it.



Uh, Clarence. Uh--



I don't know, Clarence.

Dr.Zhivago is a pretty big movie.



The biggest movie you've

ever dealt with, Lee.



We're talking

a lot of film here.



A man would have to be an idiot

not to be a little bit cautious

about a movie like that.



And, Lee,

you are no idiot.



No, no. I'm not saying

I'm not interested, Clarence.



Being a distributor is not what I'm all

about. I'm a movie producer, you know?



I am on this earth

to make good movies.



Nothing more and nothing--

well, maybe less sometimes.






Choose a fucking lane!



No, not you. Just some idiot--

Don't give me the finger!



I'll fucking

have you killed!



The bottom line is, I am not Paramount.

You know what I'm saying?



I got a select few

distributors I deal with.



I buy their little movies, and I

accomplish what I wanna accomplish...



and get the fuck

out of there.



Very businesslike, very easy

and very little risk, Clarence.



Lee, we're talking Dr.Zhivago.

This will be packing 'em in

for a year and a half.



Two years. That is two years

you're not gonna have to deal...



with anybody else's

movie but mine.



Nobody's but yours.

Well, what is the rush here?



I just wanna be able

to announce this deal at Cannes.



If I had time for a courtship,

Lee, I would. I'd take you out,

hold your hand, kiss your cheek.



But I'm not

in that position.



I need to know right now if you

and I are in bed together or not.



If you want my movie, you're

gonna have to come to terms

with your fear and desire.



Uh-huh. Fear and desire,

huh, Clarence?



Don't you know that my films have

grossed more than  .  billion, Clarence?



- Let me talk to Elliot.

Let me talk to Elliot.

- You wanna talk to Elliot?



Elliot, he wants

to talk to you.



- Hi, Lee.

- Elliot, where do you

know this guy from?



He's, uh-- He's a friend

of Dick's, remember?



Who the fuck is Dick?



You-- You-- You want me

to... suck his dick?



- No. Who the fuck is Dick?

- Oh, who the fuck is Dick?



- Yeah.

- Dick is my friend.

He's in my acting class.



- You told him I'm an actor?

- Is he any good? Is he talented?



Really? How does Dick

know this guy?



- Tell him--

- They-- They grew up together.



Okay, uh, Wednesday

at the hotel,  :  .



Bring the whole

fucking cast, all right?



Elliot, don't call me here anymore,

especially not on Sunday, all right?



- What did he say?

- Just hold on a second.



- Did you tell him--

- Shut up for a second. Hey, you guys.



This is

what's gonna happen.



 :   Beverly Ambassador.

He wants to see everybody. Okay?



And he'll talk to you.

If after talking to you he likes you,



wants to deal with you,

he'll deal with you.



If he doesn't, he'll say fuck you,

and he'll walk out of the room.



- Did you tell him--

- Shut up for a second.



And he wants a sample bag.



- No problem on all counts.

- Great.



Did you tell him

I was an actor?



- Yes, I told him.

- You told him I was good?



Yeah, I lied.



[ TV Playing ]



- Hi.

- How you doing?



- Oh, pretty good.

- You Dick? Dick Ritchie?



No. No, he's

not here right now.



- You live here?

- Yes, I do.



You're sort

of, uh, roommates?



Exactly roommates.



Maybe you can help me.

I'm looking for a friend of mine.



- Sure.

- Clarence Worley from Detroit?



- He's traveling with a real

pretty girl named Alabama?

- Oh, yeah, man, I know 'em.



- They've been by here.

- You've seen 'em?



- Mm-hmm.

- They staying here?



No, they're

staying at the...



Safari Motor-- Motel Inn.



- Safari Motel.

- Safari Motel?






How do you know that?

Have you been over there?



No. They were here,



and they said that they

were going to go there.



Then they went.



- Yeah?

- Yeah. Safari-- Safari Motel.



- Safari Motel.

- Uh-huh.



Hey, you wanna watch some TV?

They might be back here.



- No. No, thank you. Thank you, though.

- Okay.



- You take care. I might be back.

- Yeah.



Good. Be cool.



Don't condescend

to me, man.



I'll fucking kill you, man.



I'm so proud of you.

Did I do my part okay?



- Alabama, you were perfect.

- Like a ninja?



Like a ninja. I'm gonna

go grab us something to eat.



I'm gonna go jump in the tub and get

all wet and slippery and soapy...



and hop in that water bed

and watch X-rated movies...



till you get your ass

back in my lovin' arms.



Hurry back now.



We now return to Bullitt,

already in progress.



You give your love



So sweetly






[ Giggles ]







- Cigarette?

- No.



[ Giggles ]



That's a very

nice outfit.



Oh. This?



I got this

in Las Vegas, Nevada.



Alabama, where's our coke,

and, uh, where's Clarence?



When's he coming back?



I'm sorry. I think

you have the wrong room.



My name is Sadie.



We don't have any Coke, but there's

a Pepsi machine down the hall.



I don't know anybody named Clarence,

but perhaps my husband does.



You can ask him,

'cause he'll be home in a minute.



He plays football.



He's just at practice.



- Give me your hand.

- Okay.



You are unbelievably cute.



Thank you. Thanks.



Let me see those eyes.



What a face.



Do me a favor.

Turn around for me.






No, go the other way.






[ Humming ]



- Ooh. That hurts, don't it?

- Uh-huh.



Get on your feet, sweetie.

You ain't hurt that bad.



Now, where's our coke? Where's

Clarence? And when's he coming back?



Okay. Okay.



Fuck you.



Fuck me.



What's the matter,

baby, huh?



Can't breathe?



[ Groaning ]



You better get

used to that.



- Mmm. Smells like hamburgers in here.

- Hi.



Tell me, what is the biggest,

fattest hamburger you guys got?



That would be Steve's

double chili cheeseburger.



- Give me two of them bad boys,

two chili fries...

- Uh-huh.



- and, uh, two large Diet Cokes.

- Anything else?



Come here. Look at yourself!

Look! Take a good look!



You think your boyfriend

would go for this shit? If

you do, you're fucking stupid.



You're a very pretty girl, but you ain't

gonna be very pretty for very long.



I'm gonna ask you

a fucking question,



and you give me

the right fucking answer!






where's my coke?



Turn around. Turn around.



Answer me!



- Come on.

- Mmm--



- You got a lot of heart, kid.

- [ Laughing ]



[ Clarence ]

Now, that is a great issue.



You gotten

to the story on Elvis yet?



No, I hadn't.



That is probably the single best piece

I have ever read on Elvis Presley...



in my entire life.



Look. It tries to pin down what the

attraction is after all these years.



It covers

the whole spectrum.



Talks to the fans, people who grew up

with him, people who love his music.



Then there's

the fanatics. Right?



I don't know about you,

but they give me the creeps.



- Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean.

- I mean, look at her.



It looks like she fell off the ugly tree

and hit every branch on the way down.



[ Coughing ]



Now, the first time you kill somebody,

that's the hardest.



I don't give a shit if you're fucking

wired up or Jack the Ripper.



Remember that guy in Texas?

The guy in that fucking tower,

killed all them people?



I bet you green money, that first

little black dot he took a bead on,



that was the bitch

of the bunch.



First one is tough.

No fucking fooling.



The second one ain't

no fucking Mardi Gras either,



but it's better than the first,

'cause you still feel the

same thing, except it's diluted.



You know,

it's-- it's better.



I threw up on the first one.

You believe that?



- [ Groans ]

- Then the third one--



The third one is easy.

You level right off.



That's no problem. Now--






Now I do it just to watch their

fucking expression change.



I don't fucking

believe it.



Did you put it

under the bed?




[ Laughing ]



I can't believe it.

You put it under the fucking bed.



I didn't look

under the fucking bed.



I can't believe you put it

under the fuckin' bed,



and I can't believe I didn't

look under the fuckin' bed.



I'm gettin' fuckin' old.



[ Cackles ]

Journey's end, baby.



Snow at the end

of the rainbow.



[ Groans ]



One less thing I gotta

fuckin' worry about.



[ Coughing ]



This is it, baby.



Moment of truth.



[ Cocks Gun ]



[ Breathing Heavily ]



[ Chuckles ]



You got a lot of heart, kid.

You know that?



[ Whimpering ]



Wanna play?




Is that what you want?



- [ Grunts ]

- You wanna play with Daddy?



Come on. Come on. I'll give you

one shot 'cause I like you.



Stick it in me, baby.

Come on. Stick it in Daddy.



Stick it in me.

Go ahead.



- Come on! Come on! Come on!

- [ Screaming ]



[ Screaming ]



[ Groaning ]




- All right. No more

Mr. Fuckin' Nice Guy.

- Oh, God.



[ Screaming ]



What do you think of that, baby?

[ Cackles ]



- What do you think about that?

What do you think about that?

- Wait! Wait!



- What?

- [ Laughing ]



- Hey, what the fuck are you laughing at?

- You look ridiculous!



[ Laughing Continues ]



Come here! I look fuckin' ridiculous?

Get up! Laugh it up!



Come on, laugh it up! You were in

hysterics a minute ago! Laugh!



- You like that, don't you?

- Fuck you!



Shit! Fuck!



[ Shouting ]



- [ Screaming ]

- [ Groans ]



- [ Screaming ]

- [ Screaming ]



[ Shouting ]



[ Sobbing ]



[ Screaming ]



Fuck! Come on. We gotta go.

Baby, we gotta go.



- [ Screams ]

- Jesus Christ!



Come on, darlin'. We gotta

get the fuck out of here.



- [ Sobbing ]

- Come on. Shh!



Come on. The cops are gonna

be here any fuckin' second.






Fuck! Come on.



Fuck. Come on.

I'm sorry.



[ Horn Honking ]



Fuck! Fuck!



I'm sorry. Oh, fuck!



I'm sorry. I'm sorry.



- [ Horn Honking ]

- Get the fuck out of the way!



Those eyes, those thighs

They're part



[ Continues, Indistinct ]



- [ Siren Wailing ]

- Oh, fuck!



- Fuck!

- [ Screams ] What?



I don't fuckin' believe this!

Goddamn it! I fucking knew it!



[ Siren Continues ]



I should have my goddamn head

examined for driving like this.



Look, Carla--

Kandi, you've gotta help me.



- What can I do?

- Take this. Hold this.



- What, are you high? No.

- Fucking put this in your purse.



- I'm not gonna put

that shit in my purse.

- He's not gonna search you.



You didn't do anything.

Just put it in your bra.



- I'm not wearing one.

- Please! He's almost here!

Just put it in your pants!



- No.

- You are the one

that wanted to drive fast.



Read my lips. No!



- After all I did for you,

you fucking whore.

- Asshole.



Who the fuck do you think you're--

[ Laughing Hysterically ]



[ Laughing Continues ]



- [ Police Radio Chatter ]

- Hi.



Look, dick-head, it's your bad luck

that we caught you speeding,



and it's your bad luck that you

had a bag of uncut cocaine.



- Not a tiny little vial.

- A fuckin' baggy.



Hey, you got caught. It's all fun

and fuckin' games till you get caught.



But now we got you, okay,

Mr.Elliot Fuckin' Actor.

You just made the big time.



- You're no longer an extra.

- Or a bit player.



- Or a supporting actor.

- You're a fuckin' star.



You're a fucking star, and you're gonna

be playing your one-man show nightly...



for the next two fuckin' years

for a captive audience!



Listen to this. You get out in

a few years, meet some old lady,



you'll get married, and you'll be so

understanding to your wife's needs...



because you'll know what

it feels like to be a woman.



You'll only want to fuck her

in the ass because that pussy

won't be tight enough anymore.



Good point, Detective.

Right? Fuckin' faggot.



Krinkle, this is it.

We got it, and it's all ours.



- You talk about fallin' into something.

- We got it.



Will both you idiots shut up?

I can't understand shit.



What happened?

What are you talking about?



Okay. A patrol car pulls

a guy over for speedin', right?

Suspect's covered with coke.



They bring the suspect to me and

Nicholson, and we go to work on him.



- "Nicholson and I."

- What's the fuckin' difference?



So we go to work on the guy, and we

know something's rotten in Denmark,



'cause this guy's fuckin'

stupid, and he's got a big bag

of coke and it's uncut.



And you ain't gonna fuckin'

believe what he's got to say.



Seems a cop from some department--

we don't know which one--



stole a half a million dollars

of coke from the property cage.



Had been sittin' on the shit

for a year and a half.



- The cops got this weirdo

who's a front for him.

- Suspect's words.



Our guy, Elliot Blitzer, he's making

a deal between them and his boss,



a big-time fuckin' movie producer

named Lee Donowitz.



He did the movie

Coming Home in a Body Bag.



- A Vietnam movie? Good fuckin' movie.

- Yeah.



- Fuckin' "A."

- Great fuckin' movie.



- So, you believe him?

- I believe he believes him.



This guy's too fuckin' rattled

to be lyin'. He'd roll over...



on his mommy, daddy, two-pantied granny

and the King of Siam

if he had anything on them.



This guy was a sissy. This rabbit

will do anything not to do any time.



You know what he'll do?

He'll wear a wire.



- He'll wear a wire?

- He'll wear a wire. We talked to him.



Dirty cops. We gotta get

Internal Affairs on this.



I don't give a shit who you

bring in. You can bring in

the militia, L.A. Thunderbirds,



the ghost of Steve fuckin' McQueen,

ten fuckin' Roman gladiators.



I don't give a shit as long as me

and Todd get credit for the bust.



Listen, we found him.

We just want the fuckin' collar.



That's it.

End of story.



- You got it.

- Fuckin' "A."



- Have I ever told you

how much I hate airports?

- Mm-mmm.



- See, I used to live by one

back in Dearborn.

- Uh-huh.



Really frustrating living next to

an airport when you ain't got shit.



[ Groans ]



All day long I'm seeing

and hearing people...



doing exactly what I wanna

be doing but couldn't.






- Starting new lives, leaving Detroit.

- [ Chuckles ]




business trips.



- Fun, fun, fun.

- [ Groans ]



- You all right?

- Mm-hmm.



You and me, we can jump on any

one of those planes out there

and go anywhere we want.



It gives me a whole new outlook.

Love airports now.



Yeah, you ain't kiddin'.

We got our lives to start over.



We should go somewhere where we

can really start from scratch.



- I've been in America all my life.

- [ Chuckles ]



I've always wanted to see what TV

in other countries looks like.



Where do you think we should go,

my little turtle dove?







Why Cancun?



It's got a nice ring to it.

It sounds like a movie.



Clarence and Alabama Go to Cancun.

Don't you think?



In my movie, darling,

you get top billing.



Don't you worry

about nothin', all right?



It's all gonna work out

for us.



We deserve it.



Floyd, you're sure that's how you

get to the Beverly Ambassador?



Yeah, man,

I'm positive.



- Yeah, well, if we get lost,

that's your ass.

- Clarence--



- Why don't you get out of my beer

and get a fuckin' job?

- Yeah, okay.



- Can we go?

- We're out the door.



I gotta meet Elliot in the lobby.

I don't want to be late.



I just want to make sure

we got everything. Let's go.



[ Chattering, Chuckling ]



- Yes?

- I'm out. I'm out, Floyd.



- Are you here? No, he's not here.

- I'm out.



- Wait, wait. Let me get this.

- Come on!



- Okay, I-- Fuck!

- Hello?



Hi, Catherine.

I was just walkin' out--



- What?

- Do you know what time it is?




She said that?



What'd she say?

Come on.



- Yo, Catherine, thank you. Thank you.

- Ask him what time it is.



- You got the time?

- I'm gonna talk to you tomorrow.



- Hey, man, can you get me some food?

- All right.



Come on. We gotta go.

Come on.



I got the part.



- Wow!

- I got the part!



- That's great, man.

- That's great. That's wonderful.



They didn't even

want a callback.



I can't believe it.

That's great.



That's so cool.

Way to go.



- I got a  :   call.

- That's great.



Come on, let's go. I want to hear all

about it in the car, okay? Come on.



- Hey, Clarence.

- What?






- Forget it.

- All right. Come on.



[ Alabama ]

Come on!



Hey, get some--

get some beer...



- and some--

- [ Door Closes ]



and some cleaning products.



[ Man On TV ]

His legacy lives on.



[ Man On TV ]

That was Bob Henderson with a touchdown.



[ Continues, Indistinct ]



I'm losin' a fuckin' fortune

over here.



- [ Speaking Italian ]

- [ Chuckling ]



[ Italian Continues ]



You talkin' to me,

you fuckin' wop, you?



- [ Both Speaking Italian ]

- Fuckin'--



[ TV Continues ]



- [ Groaning ]

- [ Nicholson ] You're okay.



- [ Dimes ] Put your jacket on.

- Put your jacket on.



- Ready?

- Yeah.



Put your jacket on.

One sleeve at a time.



- It's a big game now, Elliot.

- [ Exhales Forcefully ]



- It's okay. Come on. You all right?

- No.



[ Chuckling ]

Elliot, look at me.



Look at me.

You comfortable?



Am I comfortable?

I've got a,



like, you know,

brick in... my scrotum.



That's the best place for it.

If they pat you down, they're

not gonna search your balls.



- Okay. You think they might

see this, perhaps?

- No, it's okay.



- When you stand up,

it'll be okay. Elliot.

- Okay. Yeah.



- Elliot, say something.

- [ Exhales Forcefully ]



- Just--

- Okay. Hi. How are you?



My name's Elliot, and I'm with

the Cub Scouts of America.



We're selling uncut cocaine

to get to the jamboree.



- [ Dimes ] Just talk regular.

- Stop fuckin' around.



- I can't believe I'm doing this.

- You get that shit?



We're gonna be right down the hall,

monitoring you the whole time.



What happens if somebody

does something you can't hear,



like pulls out a gun

and puts it to my fucking eye?



We've done this

a thousand times.



We know what we're doing,

okay? We're the best.



Now, listen.

No fuckin' around.



Anything happens, we'll be in there

like fuckin' gangbusters.



You gotta remember something.

You don't wanna go to jail.

Do you wanna go to jail?



No, I don't wanna

go to jail.



So what do we gotta do?

We gotta put your boss in jail, okay?



[ Dimes ] And to do that,

we've got to show in court,



beyond a reasonable doubt,

that this man,



a very respectable man in the Hollywood

community, is also dealing cocaine.



- We've got to prove it in court,

and you've gotta do it.

- That's what we're doing here.



You're gonna be okay.

You're not gonna get hurt.



So what you've gotta do--

you've gotta get him to admit...



- on tape, all right?

- Uh-huh.



That he's buyin' this coke.

Okay, champ?



- Get ahold of yourself. You'll be okay.

- Okay.



I'm gonna

get some coffee.



You really got that

playin' basketball?



Yep, I got elbowed

right in the eye.



Then, as it that's not enough,

I got hurled the ball right

when I'm not lookin'. Wham!



- Right in my face.

- You should be careful.



- [ Both Chuckling ]

- I should.



Clarence, what the fuck

did you bring that for?



- In case.

- In case of what?



I don't know.

What the hell do you want me to say?



Look, Clarence,

Lee Donowitz is not a pimp.



I know that. But one thing

this last week has taught me,



it's better to have a gun and not need

it than to need a gun and not have it.



Paging Mr.Sherek.



- Sherek.

- He's over at the bar.



There he is.



[ Exhaling ]



Elliot, your motivation

is to stay out of jail.



- Easy, easy, easy.

- Hey.



- Hi.

- Hi.



I guess it's about

that time, huh?






Here we go.



[ Elevator Bell Dings ]



[ Sighs ]



You're an actor.

Act, motherfucker.



- Elliot?

- Yeah?



- Get on your knees.

- Oh, no.



- What?

- I said, get on your fuckin' knees!



Shut the fuck up!

I know what the fuck I'm doin'.



- You think I'm pretty

fuckin' stupid, don't you?

- No.



Don't you fuckin' lie to me,

you motherfucker!



He's bluffing you, Elliot!

Can't you see that?



I want to hear you say,

"Clarence, you are--"



Shut up! Say it, goddamn it!

I wanna hear you say it!



"Clarence, you are without a doubt, the

dumbest motherfucker I've ever seen!"



- Say it!

- Dumb fucker!



- Apparently, I'm not as dumb-- Shut up!

- He didn't do nothin'!



Apparently, I'm not as dumb as

you fuckin' think I am, am I?



- No.

- What the fuck

is waiting for us up there?



- What the fuck's waiting for us?

- He's gonna shoot him.



Tell me, or I'm gonna pump two

in your face right here.



- He's not gonna shoot him.

- [ Shouts ]



- Motherfuck--

- He's gonna shoot him.



Like Nick Curry used to say,

if I'm wrong, I swear to God

I'll fucking apologize!



Something's amiss. I can feel it. If

anything out of the ordinary goes down,



you are gonna be

the first one shot.



- He didn't do anything! What the fuck--

- Shut up!



I'm gonna blow this motherfucker away.

Fuck you!



[ Screams ] I wish somebody

would just come and get me,



because I don't

like this anymore!



Get ahold of yourself,

you fuckin' sissy!



I really wish somebody would just come

and take me away! Just take me away!



Hang in there, will you?

Goddamn it!



I can't take this! I'm sorry,

but I just can't! I wish somebody...



would just come to my rescue,

and everything would be all right!



Elliot? Elliot?



- What?

- I'm sorry, all right?



I'm sorry. I'm sorry.




- I'm sorry.

- [ Sobbing ]



- What's with this guy?

- [ Elliot ] Quit playing around.



[ Clarence ] I wasn't playing around.

I just had to be sure.



- That's all. I'm sure now, okay?

- [ Muttering ]



I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.



[ Laughing ]

Oh, man!



I like this Clarence kid.

This fuckin' guy's crazy.



[ Hard Rock ]



- [ Knock At Door ]

- [ Coughing ]






- Aw!

- I got up feelin' so down



- [ Laughs ] Oh, man.

- I got off bein' sold out



- Are you Dick Ritchie?

- Uh, no.



- But the story's getting old now

- Do you know a Clarence Worley?



- Yes.

- Do you know where we can find him?



- Yes, I do. Oh.

- I just looked in the mirror



Well, where?



- At the Beverly Ambassador.

- [ Continues, Indistinct ]



- Where's that?

- Well,



you go--



No. Yeah.

Go down-- Go down Beach--



You guys want to

smoke a bowl or--



Oh. Go down Beachwood

and drive a while,



and then you're

gonna turn right, okay?



And then you go, and you keep drivin',

and you keep drivin'.



[ Knocking ]



- Hello, Elliot.

- Monty.



Are these your friends?



Yeah. Yeah.



You could say that.

Everybody, this is Monty.



Hi. Come on in. Lee's in the can.

He'll be out in a quick.



Holy shit. Look at this.

Do you believe this?



- It's a helicopter.

- Sorry. Nothing personal.



- Clarence.

- [ Chuckles ]



There ain't gonna be a need

to search me. All you're

gonna find is this right here.



What compelled you

to bring that along?



I guess the same thing

that compelled you guys...



to bring heavy artillery

to a business meeting.



- I'll take that.

- Well, you're gonna have to.



Oh, hi.



Everybody's here.

Elliot, who's who?



[ Clears Throat ]




Uh, that's Dick

on the end there.



Oh, that's Dick!

Elliot tells me you're quite gifted.



And, uh, Alabama

in the middle.



- Hello.

- Clarence on the end.



- Lee, this guy is--

- Boris, please.

I'm meeting people right now.



- Mr.Donowitz?

- Come on, Clarence.

Don't insult me. Call me Lee.



- Lee?

- Boris, shut the fuck up.



Come on, everybody.

Don't be shy. Come on in.



Okay, uh, Lee.



- Lee.

- Lee.



- That's right, Lee.

- I gotta tell you,

I really am a big fan.



Coming Home in a Body Bag

is my favorite movie of all time.



After Apocalypse Now, I think that

is the best Vietnam movie ever made.



- Wow. Thank you very much, Clarence.

- Lee.



- What?

- This guy's packin'.






Well, I've been pretty scared

about this whole thing.



But I'm fairly confident

you're just here to do business.

I don't want to be a wise guy.



If you want, I'll take my gun out,

lay it on the table.



It's up to you.



Mm, no, I don't think that's necessary.

Boris, be nice.



Make everybody

some coffee, okay?



- It's a pleasure to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.



Honey, sit down.

Relax. Relax.



- Elliot, you look like shit.

- Oh, I'm sorry.



I mean,

it's completely disgusting.



Um, I need to get a quick signature.

It would be great--



- Whatever Bonnie wants.

- Okay.



- [ Lee ] Like my dailies there, Clar?

- [ Chuckles ]



- Is that what these are?

Yeah, they're great.

- You like 'em?



Better fuckin' be great.

They cost me enough.



- What'd that day cost me?

- $      .



Elliot, I swear to God,

somebody is stealing from me.



[ Clarence ]

What's this one called anyway?



- It's a sequel to Body Bag.

- Really?



We don't have a title yet.

What does Joe like?



Uh, Body Bags II.



Ooh, that's imaginative.

I've got more taste in my penis.



This guy's really

fuckin' funny.



You know, most of these movies that win

a lot of Oscars, I can't stand them.



They're all safe, geriatric

coffee-table dogshit.



We park our cars in the same garage.

It's all right.



All those assholes make are unwatchable

movies from unreadable books.



Mad Max, that's a movie. The Good,

the Bad and the Ugly, that's a movie.



Rio Bravo, that's a movie.

And Coming Home in a Body Bag,

that was a fuckin' movie.



It was the only movie up to that time

that won a lot of Oscars with balls.



- I mean, since Deer Hunter.

- I don't believe you.



Do you like a little coffee

with your sugar, or what?



Lee, I'm not satisfied till

the spoon stands straight up.



[ Laughing ]

Give me a coffee, will you?



My Uncle Roger and Uncle Jerry,

both of whom were in 'Nam,

saw Coming Home in a Body Bag.



They said to me, Clarence,

that is the most accurate

Vietnam film they'd ever seen.



When veterans in that bullshit war

say that about my project,



it makes the whole thing




Here's to you.



My friend-- I'm calling you my friend.

I just met you. You know why?



I think 'cause we got

the same interests.



You know what I'd like to do right now?

I'd like to see Dr.Zhivago.



- [ Chuckles ]

- Where is it?



Is there a fucking doctor

in the house, or what?



Hang on a second. Lee, when you

see this, you are gonna shit.



- [ Lee ] I better.

- Bingo.



- What's the guy's name?

- Donowitz.



When somebody loves you



It's no good

unless you love them



Uh, Lee, that is all

practically uncut.



If you so desire, you can cut that

a hell of a lot more.



Don't worry. I'll desire. Boris,

get me another cup of coffee, will you?



- Me too, Boris.

- I have to hand it to you,

this is not nose garbage.



It's quality stuff.



Perfect merchandise.



The only trouble is,

whenever I'm offered a deal

that's too good to be true,



it's because it's a lie.



- [ Man ] Jesus, what's going on?

- [ Gun Cocks ]



[ Continues, Indistinct ]



- Why don't you convince me

you're on the level?

- Convince him.



If he don't bite,

we ain't got shit except possession.



Boris, we got all kinds of sandwich shit

back there. Make something for somebody.



We got lean pastrami, nice rye.

Anybody want anything?



- You got any aspirin?

- Yeah, sure. Get him that.



Well, uh, Lee,

it's like this.



You're getting the bargain of

a lifetime because I don't know

what the fuck I'm doing.



You're used to dealing with

professionals, and I'm not.

I'm a rank amateur.



What the fuck's goin' on?

What the fuck's goin' on?



I can take that and sell it a little bit

at a time. Make a lot more money.



- What's going on, Joe?

- Elliot's too far away.



- This is the whole ball game.

The game is set!

- He's too far away!



I'm not a drug dealer.

I'm not saying you're a drug dealer.



But you're a movie producer.

You got access to all kinds

of money and shit like that.



- [ Static Continues ]

- [ Man ] Shit!



- Joe, you are fuckin' killing me. Joe--

- Wait, wait. Wait. Shh!



I cannot get a million

for it, but you can.



All right?

So I'll sell it to you for       .



You go make a million

with it.



Shit, it's all found money

to me anyway, you know?



- [ Clarence, Indistinct ]

- There he is.



- [ Exhales ]

- Shh!



[ Chuckles ]

Me and my wife, we're minimum-wage kids.




that means the world to us.



Elliot tells me that you're

fronting for a dirty cop.



Uh, Elliot wasn't supposed

to tell you anything.



He's not a dirty cop.

He's a good cop.



He saw his chance,

and he took it, that's all.



Why does he trust you?



Well, we grew up together,

that's why.




if you don't know shit,



then why does he think

that you can sell it?



[ Chuckles ]

I bullshitted him.



[ Laughing ]



You are nuts!



He's a wild man, this kid Clarence.

I like him.



- You're wild! I love you!

I love this guy.

- Hey, Lee.



He bullshitted him.

You believe this kid? I love him.



Elliot, I love this kid.

Monty, get the money.



That's it, fellas.

Let's get these sons of bitches.



- [ Sniffs, Clears Throat ]

- [ Lee ] Now, wait, wait.



I forgot. Excuse me.

What is your part in this again?



- I'm his wife.

- Oh, you're the wife! Right.



Clarence, what, did you

beat her or something?



No, no. She got that

playing basketball.



- What's the matter with you?

- I'm sorry.



- Why are you here?

- I'm an actor.



Dick, if you were just a fuckin' actor,

you never would've got in the room.



I'm-- I'm friends

with Elliot.



He's your friend?

You got problems.



All right, all right.

It's all right. And Elliot knows me.



- Elliot, here. Call Joe.

- Sorry.



Tell that cocksucker

the production manager reports...



that he's taking    cents of every

dollar and putting it in his own pocket.



[ Dialing ]



Don't you want

to count your money?



No, that's all right. She can count it.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.



Give it to her.



Well, since my baby left me



I found a new place to dwell



It's down at the end

of Lonely Street



The Heartbreak Hotel



- I gotta hand it to you, Clarence.

- I was cool?



Man, you were cooler than cool.



Oh, my God.

I forgot my fuckin' vest.



- Stupid.

- Cody, on three.



- Yeah. [ Exhaling ]

- One, two, three.



- [ Crashing ]

- [ Shouting Orders ]



[ Shouting Continues ]



Both of you, put the fucking guns

on the floor now!



Fuck you! All you pigs, put your guns

on the floor and back away.



- Are you fucking nuts?

Just do what they say.

- This is your last chance!



Fuck you! This is your last chance! We

could kill all of you and you know it!



- Get down on the fucking floor!

- Boris, shut the fuck up.



- We're all gonna die here.

These are cops.

- So? Who gives a shit?



Something I never told you about me.

I hate fucking cops!



Let's be nice, guys. Come on.

Let's be nice. We don't want to die.



We don't want

any of you guys to die.



You look like a blond Frankenstein.

Now put your gun down!



-    ?

- Yeah,    .



There you go, Mad Dog.



- Holy shit. Motherfucker.

- What the fuck is goin' on?



- Who are these guys? Put 'em down!

- Put your fuckin' guns down!



Put 'em down, motherfucker!

Put 'em down!



Fuck you!



- [ Shouting Continues ]

- Put those fuckin' guns down!



How you really think

I'm doin' with Lee, huh?



- You kidding? He loves you.

- You don't think I'm kissing

his ass or anything, do you?



You're telling him what he wants

to hear. That ain't the same

thing as kissing his ass.



Yeah, I mean, I saw Coming Home

in a Body Bag. I loved it.

I'm not lyin' to the guy.



No. That's why

it ain't ass-kissin'.



What you're doin' is genuine,

and he knows it.



I like you, Clarence.



- Always have. Always will.

- [ Snaps Fingers ]



[ Shouting Continues ]



Put 'em down!

Put 'em down, motherfuckers!



Officer Dimes.

Officer Dimes.



[ Nicholson ] Put 'em down,

motherfucker! Put 'em down!



- Officer Dimes?

- What?



- Officer Dimes? Officer Dimes?

- What?



Um, this has nothing to do

with me anymore, right?




So I'm just gonna leave,



and you guys just settle this

by yourselves, all right?



Just shut up and stay

the fuck put, Elliot.



How do you know his name?



Why the fuck did he

know your name?



You little piece of shit!



You can forget about acting for the next

   years! Your fuckin' career is over!



Take you fuckin' SAG card

and burn it!



You little cocksucker!



I treated you like a son,

and you fuckin' stab me in the heart!



- Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

- [ Screams ]




Watch it, motherfucker!



[ Men Shouting ]






[ Screaming ]



Son of a--



[ Shouting ]






[ Screaming ]



[ Groaning ]



[ Screaming Continues, Sobbing ]



[ Shouting ]



Sweetie! Sweetie!

[ Sobbing ]






Okay, you with the shotgun

behind the couch, come out!



Guy's a wop.



I said come out from behind the couch,

you fuckin' guinea, now!



[ Italian ]



I said-a come out from-a

behind the couch-o, okay? Capisce?



- [ Speaking Italian ]

- [ Sirens Wailing, Distant ]



- Nice and slow.

- [ Italian ]




The guy hit me.



Son of a bitch shot me.




[ Sobbing Continues ]



- Don't you die on me!

- [ Sirens Approaching ]



You're gonna be okay.



[ Boris ]

I need an ambulance!



I need an ambulance!



- [ Alarm Blaring ]

- Fuck you!



- No! No!

- I'll blow this bitch's brains

to kingdom come!



[ Coughing ]



I need an ambulance!



Shut up!



Fuck you!

I'm bleeding!



I'll call you a hearse.



- [ Cocks Gun ]

- This is for Cody.



Fuck you!



Honey, you're alive!

[ Laughing ]






I can't see.



[ Laughing Continues ]



Honey, you have blood

in your eye.



Come on.



All right. Okay.



- [ Screaming ]

- Fuck you!



I want a car to take me to the airport

and a plane full of gas!



[ Screaming Continues ]



And a million bucks!

Small bills! And--



[ Police Radio Chatter ]



Get outta my face,




- [ Sirens Continue ]

- [ Gunfire Continues ]



[ Men Shouting ]



[ Alabama Narrating ]

Amid the chaos of that day,



when all I could hear

was the thunder of gunshots...



and all I could smell

was the violence in the air,



I look back and am amazed...



that my thoughts

were so clear and true--



that three words went through

my mind endlessly,



repeating themselves

like a broken record.



"You're so cool.

You're so cool.



You're so cool."



And sometimes Clarence asks me

what I would have done if he had died,



if that bullet had been

two inches more to the left.



To this, I always smile...



as if I'm not going

to satisfy him with a response.



But I always do.



I tell him of how

I would want to die,



but that the anguish

and the want of death would fade

like the stars at dawn...



and that things would be

much as they are now, perhaps.



Except maybe I wouldn't have

named our son...






No stars in the sky



The night seems so dark

around you



You won't say a word



And wonder why

no one's found you



Waiting for love



Praying for love again



Love's a heavy weight



Give it to me

Don't hesitate



Love's a heavy thing



Too heavy for one heart



To bring me your love



Give me your love again



It's not your fault



One heart can never win



It takes two hearts



Two hearts

just to hold love



Two hearts



Two hearts

just to hold your love



Your love



And if your heart

should ache



Remember me



And if your heart

should break



Two hearts



Two hearts

They can mend it






Heartaches can be mended

by love



By love



Love's a heavy weight



Give it to me

Don't hesitate



Love's a heavy thing



Too heavy for one heart



To bring me your love



Give me your love again



It's not too late



One heart can never win



It takes two hearts



Two hearts

just to hold love



Two hearts



Two hearts

just to hold your love



Your love



[ Ends ]

Special help by SergeiK