Voila! Finally, the Two Weeks Notice
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Sandra Bullock and
Hugh Grant movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Two Weeks Notice. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
I'm an attorney and this
isn't how I argue a case.
You're getting on my nerves!
This bullding has been here for years.
It deserves to remain for the community...
...because it represents
the ideaIs of that time!
The community deserves to have
this as a Iandmark. It is something to--
And we're removing it from
our chlldren's chlldren. You go back here.
This a community theater, and everyone
shouId benefit from this bullding!
This is your Iast warning!
We got a permit to take down this bullding!
I have a permit that aLLows me
to gather for the purpose...
...of expressing my constitutionaLLy
protected right of free speech!
-You want to get kllIed, Iady?
-Sir, according to city code--
-Forget about your code!
-Section : If a Iandmark's committee....
-Forget about the code, Iady!
-When a Iandmark's committee decision--
-Lady, you're in vioIation here!
-Have you ever read the Constitution?
Take it up, CharLle!
Watch this constitution.
-Do you read?
-Come on, cIear the area!
Yeah, you're cIear. Go ahead.
Okay, you guys,
this is just a scare tactic.
-That's aLL this is.
-WeLL, it's sort of working.
MeryI, they do productions from the Y here,
productions with LlttIe peopIe!
The Nutcracker and Hair. We have
to Lle down in protest. Take out your mats.
Here, I've got your protective eye gear,
your sun bIock and your wet naps.
-Everybody, Lle down in protest!
-You better get out of the way.
-We wllI prevall!
-You wllI go to jall!
Tom! Lock arms.
-I'm not feeLlng great about this.
-Have a LlttIe faith, pIease.
MeryI, wouId you marry me?
Oh, my God! Yes!
Shut this down, CharLle.
-I Iove you.
-Hey, you guys, they stopped.
You're good Iuck. There is justice
in the worId. We prevalled!
-We shouId caLL our parents.
-Guys, here are your wet naps.
-Thanks. We had a good time.
-I'm gIad. Bye.
Bye. Thank you.
I'LL pay you back
this time, guys. I promise.
What are parents for, if not to ball
their daughter and her friends out of jall?
So did they knock it down?
I'm not getting through to peopIe.
Why don't peopIe respond to me?
Honey, Wade Corporation is not peopIe,
it's a heartIess profit machine.
And it's getting worse aLL the time.
on the Surf Avenue Iot.
They wanna put up condos
and tear down the center.
Wait, our community center?
My community center?
Come on, honey,
Iet's discuss it over dinner.
No, Dad, you know what? I'm just tired.
I think I'LL just go home.
Hi, honey, it's Ansel.
I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna
make it back for your birthday.
We got a lot of new trainees onboard
and they put the green in Greenpeace.
But I'm saving whales
and thinking of you. Love you.
Yeah, hi, Mr. Wong. Lucy KeIson.
Fine. I wouId Llke a number ...
...a number fou-- Number five.
No. Number seven? Seven.
Can I get the number four
without the garLlc sauce?
Okay, and then maybe
two orders of number .
Yes, it's for one.
And that's it.
No! Give me a number eight.
Give me two number eights.
When they toId me I'd been chosen
the MedicaI Center's Man of the Year...
...I assumed it had
something to do with...
...the mllLlons we have contributed
to the new pediatric wing.
But as it turns out, I had my appendix
removed earLler this year...
...and under anesthesia,
I apparentIy proposed marriage...
...to every nurse in the hospitaI.
IncIuding the many attractive maIe nurses.
Why are pediatrics
so important to Wade?
I think feet are very important,
I'm just teasing. I know there's
more to pediatrics than feet.
-Thank you very much.
-Thank you. AIways nice to see you.
-Hey, Terry, how are you?
-StllI sLlcing peopIe up?
Yeah, I bet you are.
Hi, there. Oh, yes, the Emlle famlly.
LoveIy. So good.
-Nice to see you. Take care.
My friend EIaine Cominsky wants
to meet you, but she's shy. Is that okay?
That's fine. I've been too nervous
to meet EIaine myseIf.
-Good. Don't move. Great tie, by the way.
-Thanks. I was rather nervous about it.
-Hey, your brother wants to see you.
-What? Now? Tonight?
Yeah, that's what he said. AIthough
sometimes it's hard to teLL with the accent.
This is EIaine.
-Hi. WouId you sign my GO?
Oh, GO! I see what you mean.
Sorry, I thought it was a medicaI term.
You had me aLL excited.
-''To EIaine, George Wade.''
Hang on just one second.
There's no way I'm running up
to Westchester just because he caLLs.
It's absurd. He'LL just have to wait.
-Right on. Hey, man, forget him.
-ShouId I get the car?
-Yes, get the car.
-Good evening, Mr. George.
-Good evening, Rosario.
-ExceLLent new hairdo.
No, I'm serious. You Iook Llke
a young ImeIda Marcos.
Don't you think Rosario
Iooks particuIarIy IoveIy tonight?
I hadn't reaLLy noticed.
Rosario, the chlldren need baths, pIease.
Yes, Miss HeIen.
-So how are the kids, apart from dirty?
-Can I get you anything?
-I'd Iove some Mllk Duds.
We don't have any.
I couId send out for one.
Oh, no, don't be ridicuIous.
If you're going to send out, get a whoIe box.
-Howard is in the gym.
Forty-five minutes, . mlles an hour,
at an eIevation of three.
It's incredibIe how much
more reIaxed I feeI.
-HeIen does an hour a day too.
-Yes, you both seem extremeIy reIaxed.
You can cut the reIaxation with a knife.
So why am I here, Howie?
We Iost the West Side waterfront deaI
because your chief counseI...
...your Iatest modeI/attorney...
...forgot to flle
an EnvironmentaI Impact Report.
I wllI admit that the Iaw
is not Amber's strong point.
-That's why I fired her.
-No, I fired her.
Just as I fired Debbie
from St. Barts' Law SchooI...
...and Stacy from OnLlne Law SchooI.
I want someone from YaIe or CoIumbia
or from the continentaI United States.
Women of that IeveI of inteLLectuaI abllity
often find me shaLLow.
-Then hire a man.
-Don't be absurd.
Because they wouIdn't sIeep with you?
No, because it wouId make you
and Dad too happy.
Dad has been dead for years.
WeLL, there is no reason for him
to start enjoying himseIf now.
You need someone who can write
a brief instead of removing yours.
And she can handIe your divorce
whlle she's at it.
You are stllI getting divorced?
UnIess my ex-wife decides to faLL in Iove
with me again, or for the first time, yeah.
No! Why do you aIways
find that so funny?
-It's very hard to say.
-Hire a reaI attorney by tomorrow.
-HeLLo, have a good day.
-Thank you, ma'am.
-So you're Russian, you say?
Hence, bIond hair,
bIue eyes, cheekbones.
Sorry to have kept you so Iong, but at Ieast
I feeI I know everything about you.
And I you. You know, usuaLLy I'm so nervous
at interviews, but that was fun.
Yes. Isn't ''fun'' fun?
It's been a pIeasure, Tiffany.
Mr. Wade? Mr. Wade?
Hi, I'm Lucy KeIson. I'm an attorney.
Have you ever heard
of Saint-Tropez Law SchooI?
-Where did you go to Iaw schooI?
Intriguing. TeLL me more.
What's your background?
I don't see how that's reIevant.
I work for the CoaLltion for the HomeIess.
-I'm working at LegaI Aid.
-That can't pay much.
WeLL, I'm not very interested in money.
Now, Mr. Wade....
Wait a minute. You're KeIson.
You Lle in front of our wrecking baLLs.
-You attacked the Zegman brothers--
-I did not.
It's not my fauIt they waIked
under a protest sign.
-You're not here for a job?
-I'm here representing...
...the Coney IsIand Community Center.
It was bullt in .
It's the heart of Coney IsIand.
It has aduIt education, basketbaLL...
...CPR, Lamaze, water baLLet,
senior's tae kwon do. It's great.
For chlldren, it's a home away from home.
I mean, I practicaLLy grew up there.
It's IoveIy, but Trump
has the inside track. Nice to meet you.
No, Mr. Wade, you don't understand.
I Llve there, as weLL as my parents.
They know AssembIyman Perez,
who's on the board.
If you can guarantee the preservation
of this center, I can guarantee you the bulld.
But why us? Why Wade?
WeLL, I can't get in to see Trump
and the Zegmans have a restraining order.
You're supposed to be taping
The View in haIf an hour...
...and Public Policy magazine needs a quote
on the chaLLenges of urban pIanning. Hey.
Right. Yes. Quote, quote, quote, quote....
What I Iove about architecture
is its abllity to shape a community.
This center has shaped the community!
It turns strangers into neighbors--
Its abllity to change
strangers into neighbors.
How the right design for a park
makes peopIe feeI secure.
How a schooI bullding can be functionaI
and beautifuI so that kids feeI....
No, the community center makes chlldren
feeI engaged, and it aLLows them a pIace--
FunctionaI and beautifuI so that kids
feeI engaged instead of imprisoned?
-Yeah, it sounds good.
-I Llke that.
But I said a community center,
not a schooI.
I know, it's aLL very good.
Jump in. Thanks.
So do we have a deaI?
No. I want something eIse from you.
No. I am fuLLy aware of your reputation
and there's no way you're getting that. No.
The sex. That's not gonna happen.
No, that wouId be nice.
I promise to save your community center.
On top of which, you can direct
our pro bono efforts.
That's mllLlons at your charitabIe disposaI.
I've spent my entire Llfe
working against peopIe Llke you.
WeLL, maybe if you work for me,
you'LL win occasionaLLy.
I need an answer, I'm afraid, immediateIy.
Here is my direct number at the Grand HoteI.
-You Llve at a hoteI?
-WeLL, I own the hoteI and I Llve there.
My Llfe is very much Llke MonopoIy.
And I know you wouIdn't care,
but I'LL start you at $ .
There's aIso usuaLLy
a very nice Christmas bonus.
-I can't beLleve how much I ate.
-I'm proud of you.
The whoIe Ieft side of the menu.
You know when I get tense,
I just start to eat.
-Honey, you cannot work for that man.
-Hey, we can use the ball money.
-Remember what Sun Tzu said?
''Keep your friends cIose
and your enemies cIoser.''
Sun Tzu didn't have a daughter.
What's this? Oh, dessert. Thank you.
It's the onIy way to save
the community center.
It is. And if I work for him...
...I have huge resources
at my disposaI for charities and sheIters....
-Mom, I promise.
I wllI stllI be your daughter.
I wllI stllI be a Iawyer.
And I wllI stllI have
aLL the same ideaIs.
Let's update aLL the flles.
EspeciaLLy the muni-codes
because I'LL need those.
I'm gonna speak with Mr. Wade.
Mr. Wade, so sorry to bother.
I've been over the EnvironmentaI
Impact Reports for IsIand Towers.
-I wouId reaLLy Iove to taIk to you.
I reaLLy wanted to ask you:
Which one of these do you prefer?
-How do you mean?
-It's for my new personaLlzed stationery.
Is this a trick question?
They Iook exactIy the same to me.
No, not at aLL. This is a Llnen finish
and this is a watermarked veLLum finish.
Leaving aside the fact
that they've taken perfectIy good forests...
...and denuded them in order
to produce this nonrecycIabIe paper...
...I wouId say it was....
WeLL, then this one. It tastes better.
Do you know, I've asked
peopIe that question.
You're the onIy one to come up
with that answer.
My God, you're good.
I'm getting you a bigger office.
No, it's very sweet,
but I'd rather go over the--
But is it too firm?
There's some debate among chiropractors
about the optimum IeveI of mattress tension.
What are your thoughts?
If you reaLLy want to know,
the more firm the mattress...
...the more pressure on the th vertebra.
Quite bouncy, though. Have a bounce.
-Yes, I'm gIad you're up.
I didn't want to wake you.
I just feIt Llke a chat.
George, it is : in the morning.
Can't you taIk to whatever
Mensa candidate you're with?
I resent the impLlcation...
...that because someone
may not share your high IQ...
...they're not a person
of substance and depth.
-You aLL right?
-I swaLLowed my AItoid.
She swaLLowed her AItoid. That can happen.
A sudden hair fLlck, very dangerous.
Okay, George, I am tired.
Put her on the phone.
You mean, put her on the phone?
Put her on the phone!
ALL right. Someone for you.
The man you're dancing
with is deepIy troubIed, okay?
And even though he's rich
...you're too young to trade
yourseIf Llke a stock on NASDAQ...
...for someone who won't
remember your name...
...or his in the morning,
is stllI married...
...and has recentIy had
a very suspicious rash.
It is : .
Go home, finish high schooI
and reach your potentiaI!
You aLL right?
I think I'm gonna go.
-What did you say to her? Nice chat?
That we have to taIk about.
Now, do you think I shouId cry?
I was thinking bursts of sobs.
More of a whimper.
You're pathetic. Good night.
I'm sure he'LL be here any minute.
Is there any more Diet Coke?
Did I miss the bIessed event?
Check with me before you taIk.
Now that we're aLL here, I'd Llke to discuss
the settIement terms.
The terms have been set.
It's caLLed a prenup.
We both know...
...that a prenup doesn't precIude
In pIain EngLlsh, aIthough I can foLLow
you in German and Japanese if you prefer.
-She wants doubIe the aLlmony.
Given the situation,
it's not an unreasonabIe request.
You're referring to the aLLeged infideLlty,
are you not?
ALLeged? He was having
sex with her in our bed.
I knew you were worried
about getting anything on that sofa.
-How dare you come in here--
-I shouIdn't have said that. Sorry.
So you are saying that infideLlty
is worth twice the aLlmony.
Using your reasoning,
any infideLlty on her part...
...wouId have to be heId against her
in a monetary accounting.
What are you suggesting?
The soon to be ex-Mrs. Wade did a LlttIe
couch time with a company accountant.
And he's wllLlng to testify.
I have IoyaI empIoyees.
I think it's the heaIth pIan.
-The heaIth pIan is exceLLent.
-We wllI not agree to pay any--
-We wllI pay the aLlmony...
...pIus $ and
a generous property settIement...
...if you reIease me from further obLlgation.
-You son of a bitch!
Watch your Ianguage
or you wllI not get the estate, Mrs. Wade.
Don't caLL me that!
You're just another one of his stupid bimbos!
Now, wait! She is far from stupid--
-What do you think you're doing?
-Went up my nose.
-Water went up my nose.
-It's onIy water.
Okay, this hankie is very nearIy cIean.
I'm going to dab you.
-You may bIow.
Divorce aIways gives me
an appetite. Kebab?
No, I've never warmed
to the idea of a fIesh PopsicIe.
-One, pIease. Chicken, thank you.
-Why did you give her the money?
She'd never have stopped
tllI she got what she wanted.
You aIways say I have a responsibllity
towards those Iess fortunate.
Everybody is Iess fortunate than you...
...so just give the money to someone
who's not gonna spend it on coLLagen.
You onIy want me to be generous
to those you approve of.
No. I onIy want you to
finaLLy aLLow me to do my job.
You did your job. This morning I was married,
now I'm not. You did it superbIy.
Thank you very much.
Here, that's fine. You keep the change.
-Hey, that's my coffee, you jerk!
-Oh, sir, I'm so sorry.
-I thought you were needy.
What's wrong with you?!
Can't a guy have a cup of coffee?!
-It's aLL right. Come on, Mother Teresa.
-My onIy cup of the day! You ruined it!
Okay, now, what do you think?
I don't care about the beIt.
Look, from now on, I'LL get someone eIse
to handIe my divorces.
It's not Llke I enjoy them.
Maybe I shouId go somewhere where
no one knows how much money I have.
Where is Staten IsIand?
Why don't we go there?
Thanks, but Harvard
doesn't give a degree in yenta.
I'm not here to find you a wife
or to pick out your cIothes.
My heroes are CIarence Darrow,
Who's another non-scummy Iawyer?
My father worked for Martin Luther King.
My mother is a Iaw professor.
They taught me that Iawyers
shouId be treated with respect.
I have compIete respect for you.
Luce, wait. Wait!
DearIy beIoved, we are gathered here
to join together MeryI and Tom...
...as they stand before us
on this joyous day...
...procIaim their Iove and enter
into that most sacred bond of aLL...
...the bond of hoIy--
Is that yours?
I'm so sorry.
PIease continue. Everyone Iooks so beautifuI.
Just keep going.
Bye. You guys, I'LL be right back.
HoId this for me. I'LL be back.
Twenty bucks for your cab.
Keep the and Iet's have dinner.
Keep your dinner. I'LL keep my
and we'LL caLL it even.
-Okay, sounds good.
George, pick up. What's wrong?
Don't teLL me that the construction permits
didn't come through...
...because I had the appLlcation
into the Zoning Committee by a.m.
-Evening, Miss KeIson.
-WllLle, toId you the Mets wouId sweep.
-Good evening, Miss KeIson.
-HeIp! I'm in my cIoset.
-What is it?
-That is a very attractive.
Okay, I'm judging the Miss New York contest
in under an hour. It's on teIevision.
What do you think?
PIease don't teLL me you caLLed me out
of a wedding to heIp you pick out a suit.
-You ran out of a wedding? That's horribIe!
-You said it was an emergency!
Didn't I memo you as to what
constitutes an emergency?
Yes. Large meteor, severe Ioss of bIood
and what's the third one again?
-Death! And you're not dead.
You weren't dead when
you caLLed me at : a.m...
...because you had a nightmare about
becoming a member of KISS.
Just Llke when you barged in
on my woman's doctor appointment...
...to ask me which picture
to put on the cover of People.
I don't Llke those very much. If it's any
consoIation, I wllI be dead eventuaLLy.
Tonight is important. I'm representing
the Wade organization. That incIudes you.
Not anymore, George.
-You got IsIand Towers, I got Coney IsIand.
Why don't we just caLL it quits, okay?
I can't take it anymore.
-What, are you serious?
PIease, consider this my two weeks' notice.
-I find you ungratefuI.
Yes. I hire you with
no corporate experience.
I give you an apartment, a great office,
the nonfat muffin basket every morning.
-Why do you keep your phone on?
You crave the excitement.
This is entireIy my thing...
...because I've managed
to turn myseIf into this....
It's not Llke I'm enjoying it either.
Now I can't. I'm addicted.
I have to know what you think.
What do you think?
I think you are the most seIfish
human being on the pIanet.
That's just sllIy. Have you met
everyone on the pIanet?
I don't have a shirt.
AnseI, I finaLLy quit. He caLLed me
out of MeryI's wedding.
-I'LL never get that moment back.
I'LL set up interviews with Iaw firms
that do pro bono work, and--
-All right, hang on.
Look, we're shipping out.
I gotta go. You take care of yourself.
I gotta go, hon.
Okay, just don't faLL in Iove with
any cute marine bioIogists.
-Okay, I promise. Bye.
I am reaLLy Iooking forward
to a new chaLLenge...
...and your firm has the optimaI bIend
of pubLlc and private interest Iaw.
Lucy, your résumé is amazing.
You know that.
But we do a Iot of business with Wade.
ALL the more reason for me
to make a smooth transition.
George Wade caLLed me this morning
and informed me...
...that you are indispensabIe
to his organization.
At the moment, we're not hiring.
Then why did you agree to see me?
HonestIy, we're partners
with Zodiac Construction--
They do mllLlons of doLLars
of business with Wade ReaIty--
-And Mr. Wade--
-Doesn't want you to hire me.
The attorney who was pIanning
to quit reconsidered.
-When did Mr. Wade caLL?
-Mr. Wade never caLLed.
-Maybe an hour ago.
Make sure you massage his cIoven hoof!
I'm suddenIy feeLlng a pain in my ass.
I am unempIoyabIe! You caLLed everyone
except for SIurpee Heaven!
That is not true. I did caLL SIurpee Heaven.
They didn't want you.
Heard you had attitude.
Said you weren't SIurpee materiaI.
-You shouId reaLLy Iet us work on you.
-I don't Llke to be touched!
I'm sorry, you guys are great.
It's not you.
ALL right, Llsten.
You have a contract and it says
you wllI work untll IsIand Towers is finaLlzed.
Which is compIetion of construction,
or I can stop you working eIsewhere.
And there's no IoophoIes
because you drafted it and you're the best.
SubconsciousIy, I think you drafted it that
way because you don't reaLLy want to go.
Does it kllI you how weLL I know you?
Honey, this contract is exceLLent work.
I'm very proud of you.
Dad, I'm trying to get out of it.
I don't know why you went to work
for that phllandering robber baron.
You usually have impeccable instincts.
Look at your boyfriend, Ansel.
He's a dedicated environmental warrior.
This is ironcIad. Houdini couIdn't
get out of this contract.
You shouId've stayed
at the IegaI aid job.
If I do pro bono work with a company
with these resources...
-...I can accompLlsh so much--
-Come on over for strawberry ice cream.
Have Tofutti! You heard what the doctor
said. Your choIesteroI is over !
You're basicaLLy a soLld.
Two of the greatest IegaI minds
in this country arguing over dessert.
Lucy, it was your choice to work
for that man.
You couId've done anything. You couId've
cIerked for the Supreme Court.
I don't know what to teLL you.
Short of going in
and deLlberateIy trying to get fired.
You stay away from that freezer!
Good morning, boys.
Sorry, I am so Iate.
That's fine. We onIy just got here.
Forty-five minutes ago.
Howie, are these your kids?
You know, I've never actuaLLy met them.
They are good-Iooking boys.
That's a girI. That's Sue and PauI.
Yes, so it is.
You know what?
She is gonna be a heartbreaker.
-Yeah. Thank you.
So we've got the Coney IsIand project.
I'd Llke to stir up some pubLlcity if we couId.
Yes, very nice.
I'm working on endorsements
from IocaI merchants.
We were working
on some ideas there.
I thought that was terrific.
-You. I know what you're doing.
-I am not doing anything.
You think if you come in Iate and spit
on the boss that wllI get you fired?
Not in this company.
George, I have an uIcer.
I don't sIeep weLL, mostIy because
you keep caLLing me at night.
If you don't caLL me,
I dream you're gonna caLL me.
I think about you in the shower,
not in a good way...
...but in an I'm-so-distracted-I-can't-
remember-if-I washed-my-hair way.
So I wash my hair twice.
So I have a hoIe in my stomach,
I am running out of shampoo...
...and today is the first time in my Llfe
I did not give a percent on the job...
...and I hate that feeLlng!
-I won't caLL after hours.
-You wllI, George! You know you wllI.
Yeah, I wllI.
I just don't think we can see each other
ALL right. Stay untll you find
Train him up for a coupIe of weeks,
then you can go to SIurpee Heaven.
Thank you! I promise I wllI find
you somebody amazing.
Somebody better than me
because I'm not even any good.
-A gIorified ambuIance chaser.
I got it. It's just my earring.
-CarefuI! That's my overpriced ItaLlan beIt.
Just get it off!
Join us. We were just brainstorming.
I was thinking it might be a good idea
to do a photo op at the bulld site...
...where George wouId be in the....
George in the foreground,
pointing up to the sky...
Then I thought I couId take my beIt off,
as if to say, Iet's get to work!
On behaIf of Wade Corporation,
I'd Llke to thank the Community Board...
...for giving us the opportunity
to work with you on this project.
And we Iook forward to seeing
aLL of you at the groundbreaking.
I did weLL with those eight peopIe.
-I thought you were fantastic.
-This way, Mr. Wade.
Just Mr. Wade.
-Great. Can we go now?
AbsoIuteIy. I just want to say heLLo
to my foIks.
-Is that a new coat? I Llke it.
What a wonderfuI surprise!
We finaLLy meet after aLL this time.
Mrs. KeIson, I presume.
What a pIeasure.
WeLL, I can certainIy see
where Lucy gets her stare from.
I'm Larry. It's a pIeasure to meet you.
Thanks, Larry. Same here.
Thank you for Ietting Lucy quit.
It certainIy made our week.
-We shouId get back to the office.
-Come on! Have some cake.
We're two bIocks from the apartment.
-You Llve around here?
-What a charming coincidence.
-It won't be charming...
...once you bIock out the sun
with this condo-hoteI monstrosity!
We wllI have a sun deck.
That's something, isn't it?
Larry, Ruth, I can't teLL you how much
I appreciate your support on this project.
At Ieast you're keeping
the community center.
UnIess you're wllLlng to reconsider
the entire project.
I'm afraid that won't happen.
It is over mllLlon in profits.
I think it's immoraI that any human being
shouId acquire that much weaIth.
I don't know how you sIeep at night.
A machine that pIays the ocean.
I used to come up here aLL the time
when I was a kid. My speciaI pIace.
I had a smaLL one-bedroom
on Park and st.
That's so very Oliver Twist.
Times were hard. But you know what?
We were happy.
-Didn't have a view as good as this.
-It's great, isn't it?
I used to take up some ice cream
and my CaroIe King tape...
...and Iook at the neighborhood.
It's amazing what you couId see. At night,
the whoIe bullding went downstairs.
The fathers stood on one corner.
The mothers stood on the other.
Kids wouId just ride their bicycIes around.
As you can see, not much has changed.
Mr. and Mrs. GoIdfarb wouId be sitting
in the middIe of the street...
...saving a parking space for their chlldren
who were coming next weekend.
And you up here on your own.
It's hard to find a quiet pIace
in BrookIyn to think.
Or to repIay whatever argument
I just had with my mother.
Yeah, she's terrifying.
I thought she was gonna kllI me
and feed me to the poor.
Yeah, she's a piece of work.
But for better or worse, she's the voice
in my head pushing me to do better.
ChaLLenge the accepted wisdom. Never
settIe for a B instead of an A on a test.
You once got a B?
Of course, no matter how hard I try,
I wllI never Llve up to her expectations.
WeLL, there are worse things in Llfe.
Like no one having any expectations.
There's something amuck
with this sponge cake.
You're not concentrating.
This offends me.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Ton.
I Iost Lucy.
I just think it's a shame because I've
come to reIy on her for everything.
And I trust her compIeteIy,
and she's funny.
Not deLlberateIy, of course.
Hey, you know, it's probabIy
for the best though.
Oh, yeah? Why is that?
Two things I know is chess and women.
Chess, it has ruIes, pieces,
rooks, knights, bishops.
They move in predictabIe patterns.
Somebody wins, somebody Ioses.
But women, they don't have no ruIes, man.
They move in unpredictabIe ways too.
Nobody ever wins or Ioses
when it comes to women.
You taIk about your feeLlngs
untll your breath is sucked out your body.
ALL men are pawns when it comes
EspeciaLLy a smart one Llke Lucy.
She's hard to controI.
And you know, the man has got
to be in controI.
Like with me.
I come home. When I waIk in,
I know my mama has dinner on the tabIe.
ALL right, so you're stllI Llving at home?
Here's somebody interesting,
PoLLy St. CIair.
WeLL, it's a terrific résumé, PoLLy.
CongratuIations on the baby.
Maybe you shouId check with me
before you taIk.
I'd Llke to taIk about
your moot-court experience.
Yeah, what baby?
You shouId do the interviews on your own.
Harry Raskin, Richard Beck.
Interesting prospects for my repIacement.
No, it's gotta be a woman.
What a surprise.
I suppose a certain bust size wouId heIp.
Maybe some bathing-suit shots?
It wllI annoy Howard if it's a woman.
-TeLL you what.
ALL I want is someone
as inteLLigent as you...
...but a LlttIe Iess tense
A sort of Katharine Hepburn figure.
You don't deserve Katharine Hepburn.
-AIso too good.
Just stay away from the Hepburns.
You forgot a beet.
I've got that charity tennis thing tonight.
And I need to know, does this shirt make
me Iook a bit kind of Björn Borg?
AnseI and I got into a huge fight,
and I think we just broke up.
He wants me to go on a Greenpeace boat.
He thinks I can't embrace Llfe.
Is that the case?
Because I just don't see it.
I just don't see it.
And by the way, how can I embrace him
when he is never here?
Maybe it's me. Maybe the rose-coIored
gIasses have finaLLy come off.
We obviousIy can't Ieave you aIone
with the stapIer.
I'LL teLL you what. I'LL canceI tennis.
They aIways make me pIay with Ed Koch.
What can we do to cheer you up?
Nothing. There's no soIution.
Good. Good attitude.
I can't heIp it if I don't Llke boats.
SureIy not aLL boats.
Yes, aLL boats.
I don't understand.
What is wrong with me?
At the moment,
huge quantities of aIcohoI.
I don't know. I just seem
to drive men away.
There's BllIy from LegaI Aid who ran
off with a stripper.
Don't forget Gary from the Peace Corps
who married his trainer.
What is wrong with me? I want to know.
You're sort of a man.
So teLL me. What's the matter with me?
WeLL, you can be somewhat intimidating.
You couId Ioosen up a LlttIe,
get in touch with your feminine side.
-Okay, that's a good suggestion.
-Perhaps soften your appearance.
Not that I don't Iove that Iook,
but you couId get doLLed up occasionaLLy.
I'm not going to spend hours
fIuffing my hair and appIying...
...animaI-tested makeup to my face...
...just so I can turn myseIf into some
maIe fantasy, degrading Kewpie doLL.
UnIess I, you know, reaLLy Llke the guy
You see, maybe that's the probIem.
You don't Llke these guys.
You drive them away because you reaLlze,
deep down, they're wrong for you.
They're not wrong for me.
We have aLL the same poLlticaI goaIs
and ideaIs, aLL of them.
Which I guess isn't very romantic,
but what can I say?
I'm fine. What can I say?
I'm just not a romantic person.
Never feIt that way about anybody.
No, in high schooI, Rick Beck took
me parking. You know, parking?
And the whoIe time I taIked
about NeIson MandeIa.
Don't know why I did that.
That is hard to say. I certainIy wouId have
found it extremeIy erotic. Come back.
I don't know. Maybe I'm
just not good in bed.
Maybe you're not.
-Yeah. I am reaLLy good in bed.
-You might be Iousy.
-No, beLleve me, paI.
You shouId be so Iucky because
the IawyerIy exterior...
...don't Iet that fooI you because
inside I am, Llke, a compIete animaI.
It's, Llke, bobcat. You know, it's scary.
-I can see that it might be.
-No. No. Look, I can bend Llke a pretzeI.
And I'm not taIking the straight kind.
I'm taIking, Llke, the twisty kind.
Twisty Llke the bobcat,
saIty type of pretzeI.
Because that's what men want, right?
-That is their dream.
-The twisty-bobcat kind of pretzeI...
...because that's what you want, and I bet
I couId give you a twisty-bobcat pretzeI.
Do you want it?
You're a reaLLy good Llstener.
Are you...? HeLLo?
I'LL just get her upstairs.
Think you can make it?
No. No, Iet's put her somewhere eIse.
Like a doLL.
A doLL with a sinus probIem.
We shouId put a pllIow under her head.
I think that heIps.
Much worse. Interesting.
Do you think we shouId change
Right. Don't know where that came from.
Okay, not so Ioud.
Last-- We didn't....
It was a magicaI night.
You made sounds I've never heard
a woman make before.
Not physicaLLy, but spirituaLLy,
you were the best I've ever had.
Whatever I did or didn't do
or said or didn't say...
...it was aLL a LlttIe mistake.
WeLL, nothing happened.
That's a reLlef.
I'm very busy. I have work to do.
You stay there and reIax.
Okay, I'LL see you Iater.
There's a June Carver to see you.
-June Carver, June Carver, June Carver.
-She went to Harvard.
Yeah, weLL, so did I. Now Iook at me.
Norman. Norman. Norman.
She didn't have a strong background
in property Iaw.
She's down from Boston.
She onIy wants five minutes.
This is June Carver.
-Hi. It's a pIeasure to meet you.
I don't have an appointment,
so feeI free to throw me out.
WeLL, I have security on standby.
-Have a seat, pIease.
Did you have CriminaI
with Professor Rappaport?
-Oh, my God. I'm stllI shaking.
But I have to teLL you, Miss KeIson,
you are a Iegend there.
-Editor of the Law Review.
The articIes you wrote on
the Richmond case. You're an inspiration.
WeLL, yeah, I--
I don't have a strong background
in property, but neither did you...
...and Iook what you've accompLlshed.
WeLL, you know, not that much, reaLLy.
And there's this.
I've never met Mr. Wade...
...but in Public Policy magazine
he was interviewed...
...about the chaLLenges
of urban deveIopment and he said that--
Is it ridicuIous that I'm quoting this?
No, not yet.
''Architecture can shape a community
and turn strangers into neighbors.
The right design for a park
makes peopIe feeI secure.
A schooI bullding can be functionaI
...so kids feeI engaged instead
When I read that, it made me feeI
I'd be working for a cause...
...not just a company.
Okay. You're hired.
You're Mr. Wade.
Someone has to be.
AIthough, I didn't write that.
-No, you did. I remember being shocked.
We've been working together so Iong
it's hard to remember who did what.
-Sounds Llke an amazing team.
-George, do you mind--?
I was saying how incredibIy presumptuous
it was of me to come waItzing in here...
...but Miss KeIson was nice enough
to see me.
They're caLLing from
the Zoning Commission, Lucy.
June, why don't we set up
a proper interview for tomorrow.
It's aLL right. It's aLL right.
I couId finish up with June.
You're not coming to the meeting?
-Have I ever come to the meeting?
Stupid pIant. Do something
with this, wllI you?
AbsoIuteIy. The ficus is fired.
-So teLL me...
-...first of aLL, you come from which--?
I was just wondering, are we stllI on
for the Mets game tonight?
I Iove basebaLL.
So are we stllI good?
I'm a Red Sox fan, aLL the way.
A Red Sox fan? Interesting.
You obviousIy have a rich fantasy Llfe
which is a fabuIous pIus in this company.
Okay, that means you're a Boston girI,
probabIy a LlttIe bit Irish, CathoLlc...
-...big famlly, dirty, that kind of thing.
Let's go, Mets! Let's go, Mets!
Let's go, Mets!
Strike him out!
So, what did you think of June?
Loved her. Loved her.
Great. Yeah, me too.
Yeah, she smlled obsequiousIy,
fIattered me constantIy.
She'd have no probIem picking out
an ottoman. ExactIy what I'm Iooking for.
A tad weak on the experience side, but--
We went out for a drink,
taIked for an hour.
She's a very cIever girI, you know. Sharp.
So you guys went out for a drink and....
She got nowhere to stay at the moment,
so I found her a room at the Grand.
And I invited her to the company outing.
Turns out she's a usefuI tennis pIayer.
WeLL, I can swing a racket.
Yes, I know, at my head.
I've experienced it.
But Llsten, thanks to you
for finding her. Genius.
Oh, God! It's gonna hit us!
Get out of the way. Move!
-Mike, you aLL right?
-Take it easy, the season just started.
Next time, go to a Yankees game.
Hey, Iook, you're on TV.
I don't hear you.
I don't hear you.
-ALL right. CooI.
Mine, mine, mine! Okay!
Lucy! Oh, my God, Lucy, are you okay?
Do I have a concussion?
Ask me something.
-Name aLL the Supreme Court Justices.
-Thomas, Ginsburg, ScaLla, Stevens...
...Kennedy, Rehnquist, Souter, Breyer,
O'Connor. Is that right?
How shouId I know?
Thanks, I reaLLy shouIdn't.
You think she's a naturaI redhead?
You know, I was gonna give June a Llft,
and then Howard offered.
The fact that he Llked her is
a big strike against her.
AIthough I wllI say she's
an exceLLent tennis pIayer. Very nice form.
-FantasticaLLy nice form.
What? I thought you Llked her too.
No, I jus-- I think I just ate too much.
ReaLLy? What did you have?
Just a chlli dog and some fries
and a soda...
...and a bag of some LlttIe girI's
...and another chlli dog
stuck in there somewhere.
Let's try and take your mind off it.
Heard from AnseI IateIy?
I've been thinking about this.
You shouId move on. Forget him.
PIenty of other pebbIes on the beach.
The worId must be fuLL of men who'd die...
...to be with a compuIsive
eater who can't faLL in Iove.
What? I've faLLen in Iove.
With whom, might I ask?
And no pets.
Westhouse. I knew him in high schooI.
Did you teLL BllIy that you Ioved him?
Did you say, ''BllIy, I Iove you''?
It's not funny.
That Iast chlli dog is reaLLy barking.
It's not perfect timing, I must say.
We'LL be in the city in minutes.
I don't have seconds!
I feeI Llke I swaLLowed a cruise misslle.
What--? What am I? years oId?
-It's onIy a VoIvo.
-WeLL, peopIe just don't go in VoIvos!
-I'LL buy you another VoIvo.
That'LL be the onIy thing you'LL ever
remember about me.
I'LL be the woman who went
on the front seat!
That wouId be hard to forget.
Okay, I have an idea. See that RV?
-That is our target.
Can you make it?
Therein Lles your saIvation.
-Yes, it's an exceLLent idea.
-It's uncIean! I can hoId it!
-It's a brain wave. Out of the car!
I can hoId it! George, I can hoId it!
I'm hoIding it! I'm fine, I can hoId it!
No! No, no, George, I don't want--
I'm not going. I'm hoIding!
-You aLL right?
-Yeah, I'm good.
-You aLL right?
-My ankIe. My ankIe.
No! No, no! Oh, God! No!
Excuse me. Sorry to bother you.
I'm not insane, but my friend needs to use
a bathroom. It's an emergency.
-I'LL give you $ .
Thank you. Very sweet of you.
CIean, cIean, cIean.
Where are you guys from?
WeLL, Kentucky originaLLy,
but now this is pretty much home.
Come here, babies.
What kind of mlleage do you get
out of this thing? It's an RV, right?
A recreationaI vehicIe?
HoId it! HoId it! HoId it! HoId it one sec!
Honey, how are you doing?
Are you nearIy ready?
Look at that poor jerk.
Yes, poor jerk.
George, where's the car?
I'm sure it's been safeIy towed by now.
Oh, God! George, George, George!
Don't worry, don't worry! In many ways,
it was the perfect end to the day.
Except for those poor chlldren
in the traller.
They actuaLLy Iooked quite frightened.
Don't worry, I won't teLL anyone.
Once it's pubLlshed in the company
newsIetter, there'd be absoIuteIy no point.
ALL right, I'LL caLL for a Llft.
WouId you Llke to have
your nalls done?
A HoLLywood tan, perhaps?
God, it is such a beautifuI city.
And my favorite bullding of aLL time.
Look at that.
Nirosta steeI, sunburst tower,
...aLL designed by a man caLLed
WllLlam Van AIen...
...obsessed with beating
his former partner...
...who was bullding the
Bank of Manhattan tower at feet.
So Van AIen announced
the ChrysIer Bullding at feet...
...and then surreptitiousIy assembIed
the -foot mast inside the tower...
...and onIy reveaIed it after
the bank tower had been compIeted...
...giving Van AIen the taLLest bullding
for three months...
-...untll of course--
-Untll the Empire State Bullding.
ALL right, pIease give me the name
of Van AIen's former partner.
Who is H. Craig Severance?
-I find you annoying.
-Yes, I'm sure you do.
But it is pretty amazing what dreams
and Iots of money can do, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
-And you know you're part of that, George.
-Yes, I am.
ALL you have to do is use your power
for good instead of evll.
If onIy I wouId.
...I'm very sorry that these Iast coupIe
of months have been unbearabIe for you.
Not at aLL.
UnbearabIe wouId have been bearabIe.
Then I suppose it's a good thing
that your two weeks are aImost up.
This is it.
I'LL do the Chlldren's League benefit.
I'LL make sure June is set up.
I'LL take a pass at your speech
for the groundbreaking...
...and I'LL be out of your Llfe forever.
-I have tennis eIbow from the other day.
-Lucy has tennis forehead. Much worse.
-Oh, no. I stllI feeI terribIe about that.
Thank God she Iooks okay.
EspeciaLLy with that big benefit
you're aLL going to tonight.
-What was it again?
-It's a benefit...
...for the New York Chlldren's League.
Lucy makes us give Iots of money...
...to heIp society and get a tax break.
-It wouId be aImost impossibIe...
...to teLL you how boring it is.
LargeIy because it wouId be too boring.
WeLL, boring to you might be scintllIating
for a girI from PIainview, Wisconsin.
See you Iater.
What about, if you're not busy...
...a bunch of us are going,
do you want to come and be bored?
I'd Iove to.
-ALL right. See you Iater.
Oh, good. These need to go to Accounting.
-The Ioan agreements need to be notarized.
-I got it.
-Here's the Zoning Commission reports.
-Now you can start with the appraisaIs--
I don't know how much time I have.
George sort of asked me
to go to the benefit with him tonight.
I just have to figure out what to wear.
I don't have anything.
-''I don't have anything.''
-God, she's nice.
No, they're very good muffins.
They just need more fat.
George, sign these
or we defauIt on five different Ioans.
-WeLL, hang on. Hang on.
-I need to go over my speech.
-Sorry. I gotta run.
We'LL pick you up at eight
and go through it in the car.
I asked June to come.
Hope that's aLL right.
Oh, that's dandy, but I don't need a ride.
...I just received new estimates
on Island Towers.
Costs are skyrocketing.
It will be cheaper to just knock down
the community center.
What are you taIking about?
We onIy got the job because we said
we'd keep it.
-We said we intended to keep the center.
-No wait. You can't--
This is nonsense.
You can't just decide unllateraLLy.
-I'm coming over.
I want to take a nap before the benefit.
It's all very simple.
Why can't we just bulld the towers
over the center?
Because it will eat away our profits.
There's to be a groundbreaking ceremony
at Coney Island...
...with our friend Assemblyman Perez.
All I need
is one of your charming speeches.
WeLL, you're not gonna get one.
I need you there.
-I have to consuIt my scheduIe.
-No, you won't, George. It's your job.
You're the pubLlc face of the company.
They don't want to see me.
I can't for the Llfe of me think why not.
Look, whatever we Iose on this deaI,
I'm in for haIf.
You'LL be in for nothing
at the rate you're going.
Expensive divorces, pooIside parties
at the hoteI for peopIe...
and a performance by Sting.
That was one speciaI night.
It was Wendy the concierge's fareweLL bash
and a very good party if I say so myseIf.
Look, I know you don't have a cIue,
but the economy is not what it was.
Everything we've got, aLL of it, couId go.
Faster than you can imagine.
We need this bullt.
You're our cIoser
and you wllI heIp me cIose this deaI...
...or I wllI fire you
and take aLL your stock options.
And I can't bear to see you Llke that,
You wllI heIp me cIose this deaI, George,
I'm surprised you have to ask.
I wasn't reaLLy asking.
-You shouId have gone with George.
-WeLL, he asked June.
-Not excIusiveIy. He asked you too.
-He asked me too?
How many women shouId a man
take to dinner? Maybe in Utah.
-So you're gonna go aIone?
-Sure, why not?
Hey, I think it's great.
I was aIways too scared
to go anywhere aIone.
Then I got married.
Now I'LL never be aIone again.
Check out this situation.
You two kids have fun.
Howard. HeIen, how are you?
Mr. and Mrs. Wade, good evening.
-I hate these things.
Why can't we just give the money
and be done with it?
Yes, that'd be fun.
Who wants a drink?
-I'd Iove some champagne.
-We don't want anything.
-I'LL have a Scotch.
I'LL be right back
with one of the promotionaI bottIes.
-I hear KeIson finaLLy dumped you.
-Not exactIy, no.
We came to a mutuaI understanding that
she couIdn't bear me for another second.
So who's the new chief counseI?
If she's any good,
I'm gonna steaI her away.
I doubt it. She seems quite IoyaI to me.
-Let me be the judge of that.
I'm not intimidated.
I'LL even Iead you to her.
She's over there somewhere.
WeLL, you Iook-- I--
-I can't wait to hear your speech.
No, it's just you Iook absoIuteIy...
WeLL, you haven't seen
the whoIe outfit yet.
You see, ordinarlly that wouId suit you
extremeIy weLL, but....
WeLL, tonight you're--
-Wow. I Iove your dress.
-And you Iook very beautifuI.
-I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?
-No, no. We were just...
...going over my speech.
Right. Work, work, work.
Howard wants me to revise
the IsIand Towers proposaI...
...now that we're tearing down
the community center.
-I couId reaLLy use your heIp with that.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
George, can I pIease taIk to you
for a second?
Hang on. They're about to shoot a man
out of a cannon into a vat of ice cream.
I don't care about Howard.
No community center. I see. Okay.
We do give mllLlons to charities.
So that justifies Iying.
Since when is heIping peopIe
and teLLing the truth mutuaLLy excIusive?
-You promised me.
-Oh, here we go.
You said you needed me to teLL you
when you were being a schmuck.
It's frankIy none of your business, is it?
You don't work here anymore!
I cannot beLleve you won't even try
to be the person you couId be.
-This is the person I couId be.
You think you're second-rate
and there's nothing you can do.
And I never beLleved it untll right now.
This is the first time in a year
that I reaLLy don't Llke you.
I haven't Llked me for Ionger than that.
And I'm not crazy about you right now.
Why don't you go and be the person
you're supposed to be.
Oh, good. I see the mature part
of the evening has begun.
Oh, buzz off, bozo.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the ice cream is ready.
Here comes the topping.
George, thanks again.
This was a spectacuIar evening.
I can't wait to teLL my famlly who I met.
Why? Who did you meet?
-How's your room, by the way?
-But I want to pay you back with interest.
-Don't be ridicuIous. I don't need interest.
WeLL, this is me.
So good night.
Yeah, good night.
-I had a wonderfuI time.
-Good. I'm very gIad about that.
So good night.
Yes, good night.
It's aLL right. I own the hoteI.
Your breakfast is compLlmentary.
I know it's weird Llving in a hoteI
but it somehow has a very homey feeI.
WouId you Llke something
from the minibar?
Maybe a beer.
Wow, chess. I Iove chess.
You know what I Iove
even more than chess?
Yes, that is a very good game.
We need to finish this conversation pIease--
-Oh, June. Hi.
-Wow. Wow. Great sLlp.
-That's a great dress.
-Oh, you know, same one as before.
ALL right. Break's over.
I'm gonna capture your bish--
We were just pIaying a LlttIe chess.
And doing some Iaundry.
Oh, weLL, that's okay.
'Cause I was just about to go off
and have some sex myseIf.
I mean, not by myseIf...
...but with somebody. Somebody eIse.
Oh, you don't know him.
He's in my apartment.
Yeah, in my bed.
His name is Barry. Yeah.
Barry in my bed. Okay, bye.
That was embarrassing.
-Thanks for your shoes.
HoId on, Iady. Look at me.
I've known you since Brownies,
I've never seen you cry.
Except when Bush won.
-Both of them. So maybe you cried twice.
-This is a different George.
It's not supposed to be Llke this.
Maybe it is.
Maybe it's Llke the phllosopher
Sri Yogananda says:
''OnIy that which is the other,
gives us fuLLy unto ourseIves.''
Look. I had to fight for Tom.
It was the best thing I ever did.
-Not now. Everything is not about you!
Quiet, everyone. Quiet down, pIease.
I have a LlttIe poem I wrote for you, Lucy.
If you couId just come up here.
-You ready for this?
A rolling stone gathers no moss
With your antacids and floss
Our hair perhaps we will toss
But we are at a loss
Because you are the world's best boss
WeLL, that was a very nice speech
you just made...
...and I'm going to reaLLy miss everyone
here at Wade.
There are a mllLlon memories
I wouIdn't trade...
...and if you ever get accused of murder,
you can find me at LegaI Aid.
-What was that?
-WeLL, it was the same thing you just did.
Bye. Bye. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Nice--
I'LL reaLLy miss
aLL your comprehensive reports.
Me too. Me too.
Lucy. Thank you so much for everything.
WeLL, good Iuck with everything.
And I'm sorry about Iast night.
That was awkward.
-Oh, not at aLL. Brian was unbeLlevabIe.
-I thought it was Barry.
WeLL, Barry was first, and then
it was Brian, and it was just crowded.
-I aImost forgot my stapIer.
-Is that--? Oh, God.
-No, no. What?
-WeLL, it's just that technicaLLy...
-...the stapIer beIongs to the company.
But-- No, you know what? Whatever.
It's-- The stapIer just goes way back
with me. And I--
WeLL, no, no. You keep it.
It'LL be our LlttIe secret.
Great, thank you. Thank you very much.
I guess I have kind of earned it...
...working here hours a day,
seven days a week.
Wow. Guess that makes you a workahoLlc.
No, actuaLLy, those are the hours
when you work with George.
WeLL, no. I mean,
I can be a workahoLlc too.
That's why I'm vigllant about separating
my personaI and professionaI Llfe.
ReaLLy? WeLL, I guess that wouId expIain
the Iate-night meeting in your sLlp.
That is absoIuteIy none of your business.
My God. Fine.
How much does a stapIer run?
Here, here's $ .
-It's not your stapIer.
What's the matter with you?
Give me my stapIer.
Look. You didn't pay for it.
-Give me-- You have more of these!
-It's not your-- Oh, my God.
-ALL we're missing is the mud.
ALL right. Enough. Enough. Leave.
-She's hurting me!
-Leave, Ieave. Off, off.
You are dead!
-What was that?
-Your girIfriend wouIdn't give me my stapIer.
-Part of a new office suppIy strip search.
Are you stllI knocking down
the community center?
-I know you're upset about Iast night.
-StllI knocking down the community center?
-I've been trying to caLL you--
-StllI knocking down the community center?
What is wrong with you? Are you
incapabIe of taIking about your own Llfe?
StllI knocking down
the community center?
ALL right. Let me remind you.
You came to the hoteI.
I was with June.
We were unusuaLLy dressed.
You must-- You must have some feeLlngs.
I don't have to Llsten to this.
You know what, where do you come off?
Where do you come off? BeLleve it or not,
I didn't take this job to sIeep with you.
-I took this job for a cause.
-You are a cause!
You make Gandhi
Iook Llke a used-car saIesman.
My God. You know what I can't beLleve?
How easy you are being on yourseIf.
Why don't we go over this again, okay?
You promised me a community center.
Yes! I promised, I promised, I promised.
I can't controI the economy.
I can't controI my brother.
-I think you'LL find a Iot of peopIe are!
None of us can keep up with you.
That's probabIy why...
...aLL those other guys boIted.
'Cause you're intoIerabIe!
No one wants to Llve with a saint.
Saints are boring.
Mr. Wade, your brother wants to see you.
Hi, Mr. Wong?
Yes, Lucy KeIson.
Yeah, it's been a Iong time, huh?
I'm back at my parents' house.
It's kind of fun being in my oId bedroom
and in the neighb--
Sorry. Can I have two number sixes...
...and a number, a number ?
Yes, that's for one.
AIways for one.
Yes. That's it. No.
You know what...
...just throw in a coupIe egg roLLs
and that wouId be great.
For years, Coney IsIand has been
trying to attract this kind of deveIopment.
HopefuLLy, IsIand Towers
is the start of big things to come.
And now, it is my honor
to introduce to you...
...one of the men who made this
aLL possibIe, George Wade.
-You Iook great.
-Go and earn your money, George.
-Thanks so much.
Thank you very much, AssembIyman Perez.
Your mom is teaching today...
...so we'd better grab a bite to eat
and be on our way.
We have some protesting to do
at the community center.
I'm not going.
-What are you taIking about?
-I cannot watch...
...another bullding get knocked down.
Hey. We didn't raise you
to sit on the sideLlnes.
Ever since you were a LlttIe girI,
you fought for what you beLleved in.
You were on the White House
Enemies Llst at .
Dad, I'm not sitting on the sideLlnes.
I'm going to work.
What's the point?
The man's not gonna Llsten to me.
Besides, you know, he said
some things to me that were just so....
Then you change your tactics,
you change your argument.
You don't give up.
We didn't give up on civll rights
or equaLlty for women or fair housing.
As Iong as peopIe can change,
the worId can change.
Yeah, but what if peopIe can't change?
...Iet me put it this way.
I'm sitting here eating a piece
of cheesecake made entireIy of soy.
And I hate it.
But I'm eating it.
I'm going to work. Bye. Good Iuck.
The Iaw is pretty cIear on this.
If the IandIord has not kept up
proper maintenance, he cannot evict you.
We wllI heIp you, Mrs. MuÑez.
Let me run and get you some forms
that you can fllI out, and we'LL get started.
-You don't remember me, do you?
PoLLy St. CIair? You interviewed me?
You thought I was having a baby?
Oh, yes. Yes, PoLLy. Wow.
So you work here now.
-Terrific. How are you?
-I'm not faLLing for that one again.
-No, I'm reaLLy pregnant.
-You can congratuIate me now.
-PoLLy, I was not born yesterday.
You want to see the damn sonogram?
Mrs. MuÑez, we have two other cases--
Hi. I'm busy.
I need your advice on one Iast thing...
...and then I promise
you wllI never hear from me again.
I just deLlvered the first speech written
entireIy by myseIf since we met...
...and I think I may have bIown it,
so I wanted to ask your thoughts.
Okay. Then I wllI read it to you.
''I'd Llke to weIcome everyone
on this speciaI day.
IsIand Towers wllI bring prestige
to the neighborhood...
...and become part
of BrookIyn's renaissance.
And we're very pIeased
and proud to be here.
there is one fIy in the ointment.
You see, I gave my word to someone...
...that we wouIdn't knock down
this bullding behind me.
NormaLLy, and those who know me
or were married to me can attest to this...
...my word wouIdn't mean very much.
So why does it this time?
WeLL, partIy because this bullding
is an architecturaI gem...
...and deserves to be Iandmarked.
PartIy because peopIe do need a pIace
to do senior's water baLLet and CPR.
PreferabIy not together.
But mainIy because this person,
despite being unusuaLLy stubborn...
...and unwllLlng to compromise
and a very poor dresser, is....
...rather Llke the bullding
she Ioves so much.
A LlttIe rough around the edges,
but when you Iook cIoseIy...
And the onIy one of her kind.
And even though I've said crueI things
and driven her away...
...she's become the voice in my head.
And I can't seem to drown her out.
And I don't want to drown her out.
So we are going to keep
the community center.
Because I gave my word to her...
...and because we gave our word
to the community.''
And I didn't sIeep with June.
That's not in the speech, that's just me
Ietting you know that important fact.
What do you think?
I have to get back to work.
Right, yes, yes, yes. Sorry to disturb.
CongratuIations again, PoLLy.
Aside from the spLlt infinitive
that was somewhere in the middIe...
...that speech was actuaLLy quite perfect,
Yeah. I don't know what the heLL
you're stllI doing sitting here.
And I don't even Llke him.
George, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you and I know
I can be harsh and demanding...
...but I want to try and change
because I beLleve peopIe can change.
I can change and not be so demanding
and, you know, Llke, meet you haIfway.
I just-- I know-- Things just--
...I am in Iove with you.
And I'm in Iove with you.
Oh, I shouId just mention
that I have resigned...
-...and am now poor.
When I say poor, I mean we may have to
share a heLlcopter with another famlly.
Does that work for you?
As Iong as I don't have to work for you,
we wllI be fine.
And now I wouId very much Llke
to discuss that whoIe bobcat-pretzeI thing.
Oh, I was just kidding.
I'm aLLergic to bobcats, actuaLLy.
I'm very sorry to hear that.
-But I can do the pretzeI.
-That's exceLLent news.
Hi, Mr. Wong, it's Lucy KeIson.
I need one number
two number sevens--
I can't beLleve how smaLL this apartment is.
I need three number eights, no garLlc.
It's good your parents went to the movies.
We'd never have squeezed in.
I need one number seven and--
I can waIk from one side of this apartment
to the other in six seconds.
-Watch this. One....
-And a number , pIease.
No, actuaLLy this is for two.