Voila! Finally, the Underclassman
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Nick Cannon movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Underclassman. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
- What's up?
- What's up is you're late.
We gonna dwell on time
or we gonna do this deal?
- Pásale báscula.
- What?
- Pat him down.
- Oh, right.
- You gonna disrespect me like that?
- It's business, nothing personal.
Personally, that ain't how I do business.
Creo que es una pinche placa.
A cop? Know what? I'm gonna take
my hard-earned pesos elsewhere,
because you're tripping. Adios.
Hey, hey, carnal.
I just wanna make sure
you're cool, man.
- Show me the merchandise, Tito Puente.
- Show me the money, Pac.
- A'ight. Yeah.
- (man) Check it out.
Tre! Man, is that you?
Nah, man, you don't know me. Obviously
that bum's a little loco in the cabeza.
I ain't gonna pee on the street no more.
You don't have to give me a citation again.
- A citation?
- You should trust your instincts. I'm LAPD.
IVámanos. Vámanos!
Hang on!
Watch out!
Wait! Hold up!
Quit throwin' stuff!
Sorry! Excuse me!
Oh, that hurts.
Let's move. Go!
LAPD! Watch out, OK?
We're on police business.
(man) Hey, man, watch out for my ride!
You got the right to remain silent.
I said "silent," not "violent."
- Get out of the truck.
- ; Abre la puerta! ; Está loco este cabrón!; Fuera del carro...!
Step away from the truck.
Come on. Walk towards me.
Yeah, throw some toys now.
Get on the ground.
It's OK, people.
I got everything under control.
Sorry.
"The truck barreled through the boardwalk
going miles an hour."
Did I write ?
That's supposed to be a four. .
"Boo-ya"? What-what the hell is that?
That's, like, boo-ya! Break yourself.
This is not a report, Tre.
You can't be writing, "I went Jet Li, Bruce
Lee and Tommy Lee all up in their asses."
No, no, not "in they ass," "up on they ass."
I didn't go in nobody.
- I'm telling you, Brooks, it was hot.
- Not as hot as the captain will be.
Hey, baby face. I got you a little Tre-cycle
in honor of your big bust.
(stammers)
No comeback from the kid!
I'm gonna call Ripley's.
Why don't you call Weight Watchers
while you at it?
- Bite me.
- It always gotta be about eating with you.
Where the hell is Stokes?
Put that shit down!
You cannot continue to use this
department as your personal playground.
You understand? There's rules.
There's protocol. There's procedure.
- All of which you have continued to...
- (both)... blatantly disregard.
Cap, man, I got a tip so I acted on it.
You are a bike cop.
You hear of anything going down,
you go to Detectives Brooks and Gallecki.
They come to me.
Backup exists for your protection.
So they get credit for my bust?
You wanna be part of my team,
that's how it's gonna be.
Man, I don't think you understand
how constricting this spandex is.
Shorts so tight, watch,
all my kids gonna be midgets.
And I've been pedal pushing
for, like, four years.
- I'm ready to be a detective.
- (sighs) Look, Tre.
I'll admit you got good instincts,
but you got a long way to go
before you're the detective your father was.
Now, I promised him
I'd take you under my wing,
but you make it seem like
it's a really bad idea sometimes.
I want a full report on my desk, and not
you just writing "case closed" on a Post-it.
You got it?
- Lárgate.
- That means "leave," huh?
Get your ass on the other side
of that door right now.
- Game, baby!
- Whatever. You charged.
- Don't say that.
- Hey, knock it off. You did charge.
- Hey, Cap, we on the same team.
- You could've fooled me.
- A'ight.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Captain Delgado.
- Yeah.
I'm with the commissioner's office.
Could I have a moment?
- Sure.
- Student at the Westbury School.
Body was found just off campus
two nights ago.
His name was Warren Williams.
Why am I being briefed
about a case outside my jurisdiction?
Several influential parents send their kids
to Westbury, including the mayor.
- I know. My daughter went there.
- Which is why the mayor sent me to you.
The death looks to be accidental.
We need to make sure.
- As discreetly as possible.
- Undercover?
That's right. No one else knows
we're going inside except the mayor.
Look no further, sir. Officer Tre Stokes III,
aka "The Young Gun..."
Aka -year-old bike cop
with no undercover experience.
You're not qualified.
Not qualified?
I'm a third-generation cop.
I graduated top of
my police academy class
and shattered the target-shooting obstacle
course record that was held by... you.
No. No.
I mean, yes to...
No to being assigned to this case. No.
- He does fit the profile.
- See?
- Come on, this could be my shot.
- No me jodas.
Who a hoda? What you mean?
- It means I hope I don't regret this.
- May your enthusiasm reflect your work.
I'll notify your captain
as soon as we enroll you at the school.
- School?
- Yeah.
- School.
- Wait, wait. No me jodas.(Delgado) Forensics didn't find any toxins
in the body or tire marks at the scene.
They determined that the bruise above
his left eye occurred prior to his death.
- Suspects?
- (Delgado) They found this at the scene.
The only name they could make out
was Robert Donovan, your boy here.
Four-sport letterman, class president
and your new best friend.
Your job is to get in with this kid,
see if there's any connection.
You come up with any leads, any leads,
you report them to Brooks and Gallecki.
They're your backup, OK?
Check in with them every day.
Twice a day.
Look, just stay out of trouble on this one.
Better get to bed early.
It's a school night.
I can't pass for a student.
Look, I got whiskers.
If you look, it's two and then a shadow...
(with mouth full)
I got more hair on my ass.
You should put some of that
on your head.
That's your boy.
I know high school doesn't bring back
good memories for you,
but this is your chance
to do things different.
Maybe you can finish your last semester,
get your diploma.
- I got my GED.
- Yeah, you took the easy way out.
- Brooks, look. I'm a cop, not a student.
- Well, now you're both.
I'll handle this.
Hey, man.
You can't park here.
That spot's reserved.
- Who you supposed to be? The valet?
- Dude, you think I'm kidding?
Look, dude, I'm pretty sure you're
a really talented parking monitor,
but this is the student parking lot.
I'm a student so I'm parking here.
If anybody got a problem with it, you tell
'em to take it up with the new black guy.
Who parked in my spot?
New black guy.
Nice car.
Mr. Stokes, we've been waiting.
Here are your textbooks, syllabi,
locker combination, maps,
- and Westbury's rules of conduct.
- (bell rings)
You have six minutes to get to class, which
is located all the way across campus.
Tardiness will not be tolerated.
Oh, and Mr. Stokes, the school uniform
is worn at all times. Welcome to Westbury.
Damn.
Today's lesson is on
deciduous bushes and shrubs.
We will begin with the Aronia bush.
Has anyone here
seen an Aronia bush?
Ain't that the president's ugly cousin?
This will be your baby.
You'll name it, take care of it
and not leave it unattended for two weeks.
- I got a cracked baby.
- The crack indicates your son's special.
Can't a brother get a brown egg?
OK. Buenos días. Estudiantes.Hola.ISilencio!Mira. IRoberto. Silencio!ICállate!OK.? Quién le gustaría traducirmelo que está aquí en la pizarra?
Tracy Stokes.
Would you like to translate that for me?
Actually, it's Tre, and, uh, perhaps you
ain't noticed but I didn't raise my hand.
Sit up, please.
I did notice. Perhaps you're in the wrong
class, because this is an honors course
and my students are expected to answer
my questions en espanol.? Está bien?
I...
Yo.
- Yo don't know.
- Yo no sé.
- No say what?
- (laughter)
OK. It's OK. Settle down.
I'm kickin' your ass after class.
(phone rings)
Hello? Ashanti?
I gotta go.
Hey. You know the square root of ?
Mr. Stokes, I presume. Feet.
- I'm Headmaster Powers.
- Man, this is the nicest principal's office...
Yeats wrote, "Education is not just
the filling of a pail, it is the lighting of a fire."
Cheating in an exam, Mr. Stokes,
quenches that fire in an instant.
- An embarrassment for us both.
- I was a little embarrassed, I can't lie.
But it wasn't cheating per se,
'cause Ashanti didn't know the answer.
Do you know why I allowed you
to be admitted mid-semester?
- Affirmative action.
- (sighs)
Mr. Stokes, please.
Thank you.
Well, your references are impeccable.
You come from a respectable
and affluent family.
You have support
from a lot of important people.
But above all, your transcript suggests
you have a great deal of promise.
I suggest you take everything
that this fine school has to offer,
because this is your first
and only warning.
One more indiscretion
and you will be expelled.
- Understood?
- Understood.
Good. Well, I trust I won't
have to see you in my office again.
No doubt, baby. Holler.
Yo, yo, yo, yo! Seem like y'all
need some color on the court.
It ain't a basketball team
till you reach the one-brother quota.
I wanna go ahead and apologize to you
about parking in your spot.
- (Rob) It's my spot, actually.
- OK.
Well, we haven't met yet.
How you doin'? I'm Tre.
Rob. You're in the way of our practice.
You wanna head over there.
- Yeah, it's real, man. You should take off.
- Let's play some ball, man.
What is your deal? You're parking in
our spots, you walk all over our practice...
- What do you want?
- Come on, easy.
Hey, I like that. You think you can get him
to wash my car when we finish playing?
- You know what? You're finished now.
- Wow.
So long, Tracy.
Have a good practice, buddy.
(whistles)
You got some angry skills there, dog.
I think you mean mad skills.
Mad skills. Is that how they say it
in the concrete jungle?
You hail from the 'hood, huh?
Like LBC?
Southern central?
City of Compton?
Yo, you really wild around here.
Thanks. I think.
Hey, I'm Alexander, by the way.
You can call me Alex, Al, or if you prefer
the African-American vernacular, G-funk.
G? Hi, man. Tre.
What's up, Tre? Poppin'.
Yo, you know what's going on
with all the intensity over there?
Oh, yeah, well...
You see, Rob captains
this school streetball team.
We're playing in this tourney
called the Blacktop Battle
and they're seeking revenge
on the team that beat us.
- Well, are you on the squad?
- Totally.
I make sure the bench stays warm and the
team stays hydrated with energy drinks.
- Chicks dig that.
- They do?
No. Not at all.
But, you know,
I get to chill with Rob and the crew.
During halftime. We're playing
our crosstown rivals tomorrow night.
- You should come by.
- You know what, Alley Al?
I just might do that.
I'll holler at you.
Holler.
Dear God, may our shots go "swish"
and our defense be tight,
and may the hot young ladies
freak every one of us all night.
Except for Alexander.
We know he doesn't get any.
- Saints on three.
- One, two, three, Saints!
Stop that. Break it up.
Get outta here. red, you're outta here.
Chill out, man.
- Seth, bring it in.
- Let me go, man.
- Come on, let's do it.
- Yo, nice acting.
(man) Hard foul, man, come on.
Hey, pretty boy.
Different school, same story, huh?
Can nobody on your squad
handle me, chump?
Back off, Murdock.
They're killing us out there.
What's goin' on?
Yo. I'll tell you what's goin' on.
They gettin' in your ass like a colonic.
(player) Man, nobody asked you.
Just sit down. We got this.
You can continue to get beat,
or you can beat these bitches down.
Beat these bitches down.
Come on, guys.
Sorry. Heat of the moment.
Orange slice?
We gotta sub someone in,
and Alex is the only one left.
- Y'all wanna win? Put me in.
- No. No way.
- (Tre) I'm nice.
- Alex, give him your jersey.
- You kidding me?
- Hold this.
Cool.
Yeah, baby. That's what I'm talkin' about.
Good lookin' out, Al.
- (whistle)
- Come on. Team.
Team.
Come on, man. Pass the ball.
Five! Four!
Three! Two!
- One!
- (horn)(PA) Game over.
Man, where's your head, man?
- Good game.
- Good game.
You wanna break up with Daddy's little girl
and get with me.
- I don't think so, Eddie.
- Why don't you save yourself some face
and take off before I beat you
twice in one night?
Let me ask you a question first.
What's it like getting my sloppy seconds?
- Hey, break it up.
- Get off me, Sleepy.
Yeah, Sleepy, hold your boy back.
Look like a big-ass Gerber baby.
- Break it up. Break it up.
- Let's go.
- This ain't over, Donovan!
- (Sleepy) Chill out!
- Hey. I can fight my own battles.
- (Sleepy) Come on, Murdock.
"Saints stand-in Tre Stokes' performance
sends Westbury to second round."
I'm gonna need two copies of that - one to
dump on and one to wipe my ass with.
I don't like him either,
but he did help us get the win.
- He had points.
- Yeah, points, Rob.
He had zero assists, man.
I just don't want him on the team.
- Hey, baby.
- (girl) I don't think he was talking to me.
- I didn't hear a thing. I don't think so.
- Take care of it.
- Teammates, what's crackin'?
- Uh-oh.
Sorry, this table's reserved.
I tell you what,
you're the valet and the maître d'.
You got a lot of jobs. You Jamaican?
Scoot over and quit playin'.
Seriously, just find another place to sit.
That's all. Go on. Go on.
See, now, is that any way
to treat your teammate, huh?
Well, actually the roster's filled. Sorry.
So long.
Yo, Tre!
Yo!
Lodizes your game
but you can't be down, huh, doggy?
Yeah. I've been trying to sit there
for three long, lonely years.
I'll never play a single second in a game
and I'll never get to chill with that crew
at one of their seaside soirees.
- Swar-what?
- Soirees.
It comes from French. Soirées.
Well, you see, Rob throws down
at this spot in the marina.
Run-of-the-mill high-school gathering -
party like rock stars,
slurp body shots off bikini-clad D-cups and
race souped-up Sea-Doos for high stakes.
Melvin, what's the business, baby?
- What you want, Tre?
- Boy, you got your corn rows done.
- How you keep the ladies off you?
- What you want, Tre?
Why every time I come visit you down here
in the evidence lot I gotta want something?
I need a Sea-Doo.
So, anyone else man enough
to take a shot at the title?
Gambling is wrong, boys and girls.
Pay up. Come on, pay up.
'Sup, dudes?
- What are you doing here, man?
- I come here all the time, get my tan on.
Why don't you, uh, get your tan on
somewhere else?
Come on. I just want
a little piece of the action.
Saying y'all don't want
none of the classic, boy?
I'll take his money.
See? Go ahead, Bosky.
- Shut up.
- Tip you later.
- Sexy in them shorts.
- Let's do this.
OK. First one to the buoy and back
goes home with the green.
Sure you can handle that thing?
Sure you can handle that?
Are you ready, boys?
Go!
- Dude, what the hell are you doing?
- Just making it interesting.
- Hey, you all right?
- Do I look all right? I just swallowed Nemo.
Hold on. I'll drag you in.
- (Rob) Get away from my girl, Murdock.
- Why don't you just leave?
- You heard her. Why don't you just leave?
- Why don't you just make me leave?
You know what I like about
you Westbury trust-fund babies?
- Nothing!
- Do something, come on.
Ease up. There ain't gonna be no acting
like you need anger-management classes.
I'll do you just like I did Warren.
Didn't I say there ain't gonna be no?
- Get off me, man.
- I don't wanna fight you, OK?
Calm down. I done told you...
Are you OK? I'm sorry.
Hold your nose. Hold your nose.
- Put your head back.
- (siren)
- Let's go!
- Rob! Let's roll, man.
- Yo, man, you a'ight?
- (officer) Don't move!
Tre.
Your boy Tattoo's got a hard head and
some serious anger-management issues.
Edward Murdock.
You know, he used to go to our school.
He's pissed at me
'cause I'm dating his ex.
I guess I had the better game, huh?
He used to go to Westbury?
Yeah.
But, uh, he got expelled after
this article came out in the Gazette.
What'd he do?
It's a long story.
Yo, we ain't got nothing
but time in here, dog.
(PA) Rob Donovan.
Your father's here.
Now the real interrogation begins.
Here. Use that for bail.
I wish I could. Nothing but a twenty
wrapped around some Monopoly money.
You should've brought
the "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
- You gonna be all right?
- Oh, yeah.
The cell brings me
closer to the struggle.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Tre) Brooks. This was no accident.
Warren Williams was a reporter
for the school newspaper.
He outed Edward Murdock as a drugstore
and the next day Murdock got expelled.
I need you to run a sheet on him.
Hey, Rob. What's up, man?
- Nothing.
- What was that all about?
Oh, you know,
been ditching too much class.
Oh, man, I feel you.
I can't miss class no more either.
So, are you ready to roll out?
- Yeah, man. Where we goin'?
- Come on. Play football?
- This ain't football.
- You're gonna love it.
Hugging a bunch of squares in some
short-ass shorts sounds like fun,
- but I'll pass.
- That'd be a first.
Rugby rules. It's easy.
Just touch the ball on your goal line
- or kick it through the posts.
- I got this.
Shoot.
Where the rest of these shorts at?
- What is this?
- Bend down.
- Hey, hey! Keep your hands off me.
- Crouch...
- Ain't putting my hands in nobody's shorts.
...hold, game.
It's on.
Come on.
Pass it out!
Next time pass the ball, Tracy.
(Rob) Ease up, Bos.
He gets it. Come on, Tre.
We wanna take the Blacktop,
but if you don't pass, we don't win.
Man, you could've just told me that.
Y'all was beating me so bad
I thought I was gonna have to get
Al Sharpton to come and have a march.
Tre, welcome to the team.
- So, man, where are you from?
- Originally I'm from Philly.
I moved out here with my uncle
when my dad passed.
- Yeah, sorry, man.
- Oh... no, man, it's cool.
My dad was the man.
Sometimes it just hurts.
I never got a chance to tell him
how much I wanted to be just like him.
Yeah.
This is the life.
In my old neighborhood, getting crabs
meant something totally different.
I can't believe my baby girl's
a senior in college.
Yeah.
OK, honey.
Well, I'll see you soon, all right?
Be sure to call your mom.
Bye-bye.
Don't you ever knock?
Murdock. Nobody checked his profile
because he got kicked outta Westbury.
I'm telling you, look.
Murdock has priors, motives.
He one of them suburban gangsters.
He belong behind bars.
Let me put him there.
All right. I'll put around-the-clock
surveillance on him.
So go ahead and hook me up with one of
them sick notes so I can get outta school...
(laughs) Nice try, Tre.
I want you to stay on Donovan. Brooks
and Gallecki can handle the stakeout.
A'ight. You might not wanna
mention steak in front of Gallecki
- 'cause he starts salivatin'...
- Thank you, Tre.
- Is your daughter still fine?
- Goodbye.
(phone rings)
- Speak on it.
- (Spanish teacher) Tracy?
- Who this?
- Ms. Lopez. Is your aunt or uncle home?
Ms. Lopez. This isn't about me
failing my Spanish test, is it?
What? You failed your Spanish test?
Here's my auntie right now.
Hello, Ms. Lopez.
Yes. I just want to inform youthat Tre has been struggling in my class.
Yeah.
The move has been tough on him.
He's having a difficult time making friends.
He can't even get a date.
- What you doin'?
- May I suggest some tutoring?
- The extra attention might be beneficial.
- I'm available tomorrow after class.
- Tomorrow would be great. Thank you.
- OK. Thank you.
Now, how is it that somebody who speaks
Spanish can be failing Spanish class?
I speak Spanglish, OK?
You know, her class is about
grammar and all that kinda stuff.
Plus it's hard to focus
'cause she's hot.
OK.
"Do you wanna try swimming?"
? Quiero probar de nadar?
Listen. ? Quiero tratar de nadar?
You used probar which is what you use
when you wanna try something like food.
- Not swimming.
- Tratar. Babar. Chico de bar...
Man, all these verbs mean the same thing.
This is so confusing.
You have to take the time to learn
the basics. I know you have the potential.
OK. Mira. It's like dating.
You can't expect a girl to fall for you
in just one day, right?
Shoot. I thought Spanish was hard.
- Women...
- Nothing that's worth it comes easy.
It's like school. You have to put the work
and the time in, and you'll succeed.
See, school ain't never
really been my thing.
You know, ever since I was a kid
I always wanted to be a man.
School kinda get in the way of that.
I think the point of school
is to make you a better man.
You always wanted to be a teacher? You
ain't never wanted to be a video dancer?
No. Well, I'm actually
a thesis paper away from graduating
with my master's degree in sociology.
OK. I'm scared of you.
Well, if sociology's your thing, why you
here teaching Spanish to silver spoons?
I don't know. I wasn't inspired to write
the paper so I took some time off,
and that's when
I got my teacher's credential.
Like...
wow, it's, like, three years ago.
I'm glad, 'cause you're
the most gangster teacher I ever had.
OK.
Well, thank you, I think.
No, no, that's good. Muy ganguera.
- You know how to say that in Spanish?
- Sí. Sí.
Well, if you want me to reach my fullest
potential, I'll need a little extra incentive.
You're not gonna say a hug, are you?
Look.
Now, as huggable as I am, we must
keep this on a friend tip, Ms. Lopez.
How about if I pass your next test,
you show some Saints spirit
and show up to the Blacktop Battle?
You got yourself a deal.
A'ight.
- Buckle up.
- Yeah.
Bye, Tre.
If I make this, she digs me.
Headmaster P!
- bucks I make this.
- says you don't.
Yeah.
(player) Watch the back pick.
(player) Man, wake up!
(horn)
Yes, baby. Blacktop Battle
championship game, here we come.
So, you came by
to see me in my shorts, huh?
I came to give you this. Look.
I'm proud of you, Tre.
- Yo, I'm gonna have to frame this.
- I want you to keep it up, OK?
I'll definitely keep it up
if we can keep up our private lessons.
I'll see you Monday.
Finally, a reason to look forward to school.
Pack me an extra lunch.
- (Tre) Speak on it.
- Baby face.
Gallecki. You meant to call Domino's.
Didn't you? What you got?
We're moving on Murdock
at a warehouse at Alameda and Sixth.
Secure the warrant by ten o'clock.
- Do not make a move until we get there.
- (Tre) Ten o'clock. I'm on it.
Damn.
Come on, guys, where are you?
Where you goin', Murdock?
- That punk from Westbury's followin' me.
- Hey, what's going on? This ain't cool.
- Yo, man, what are you doin' here?
- Who, me?
- He's got a gun.
- No, no, I ain't got no gun. I...
Something I forget to tell you
the first time we met, playboy. I'm LAPD.
There's something I forgot to tell you
the first time we met, playboy.
I'm DEA.
You know what this is?
No, man, what? Viagra?
Little soldier won't salute no more?
It's Bliss.
Two times the potency of ecstasy.
This is $ worth.
I hate to break it to you, player, but it look
like you got five Gs worth of spring water.
Captain Delgado,
please meet Agent Jones, DEA.
- Agent.
- Captain.
Your man here wrecked four months
of deep cover work for me.
I was days away from
meeting Murdock's supplier.
Whatever. Your boy's a murder suspect for
the October death of Warren Williams.
Oh, yeah?
Here's a little quiz for the student.
How the hell could Murdock have
murdered the kid on October
when I was in Vegas
with him that day, huh?
This multiple choice?
Thanks for your help.
Look, Cap, you can't blame all this
on me, man. You green-lit the bust.
Yeah, because I thought
you did your homework. Huh?
I thought you learned from your mistakes.
You were supposed to wait for backup.
Wait for backup? The exchange
was going down so I acted on it.
Crime don't wait on warrants.
Just once I'd like to see you
accept responsibility for your actions.
When are you gonna
start acting like a man?
When you gonna
start treating me like one?
(sighs) Every time I look at that kid
I see his father. All passion, no procedure.
You know, Cap, Tre's not the same kid
you watched growing up.
He's a cop.
He was onto something.
Yeah, well, the apple
doesn't fall far from the tree.
I just wish this apple
wasn't so damn ripe. What?
Look, Cap, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, don't be sorry, be sure!
All right, you got one more chance, Tre.
Don't let me down.
- Drinks.
- Drinks, drinks, drinks.
- I would like to propose a toast to us.
- Us!
Hear, hear. Blacktop title game, baby.
Drink up, bud.
And to Alexander. Seriously, seriously,
for throwing this party. Thanks.
This is for you, from us, for all the hard
work you do on the sidelines, all right?
- Hey...
- Drink up, buddy. You earned it.
- There it is. There it is, tiger.
- (boy) Nice work.
(Tre) OK, hurry up.
Come on. Let's go.
Safe sex is the best sex.
Hey, Tre, what's up, my dog?
Hey, Tre, you came to my party.
You came to my par-Tre.
- Yo, man, how you feeling?
- Yo, I am feeling groovy.
Rob Donovan asked me
to throw a party in my cradle.
I mean, you probably don't know how big
of a deal that is, but for a guy like me,
it's big - very, very big.
Speaking of your boy Rob,
you seen him around?
No.
But have you ever realized
how weird of a word "llama" is?
Llama.
You don't plan on operating no heavy
machinery anytime soon, do you?
Mm...
- I'm gonna holler at you, Al.
- Tre, yo. You know I love you, baby.
I love you, big dog.
Back away from the juice.
Don't chat up me, man.
Like, I wanna have your babies.
Come on, Tre.
What'd that basket do to you?
What you doin' out here so early?
I'm here this early every morning.
Damn, Al, you got skills, man.
I'm all day from back here.
Hey, don't tell anybody, though.
I wouldn't wanna tarnish
my towel-boy reputation.
Tell you something, though.
It would be pretty nice to play in a game.
Just for a minute.
That's all it would take.
It doesn't matter now. When my mom
finds out her car got stolen at the party,
she's gonna take her Jimmy Choo
and shove it into my temple till I'm dead.
Your mom's car got jacked at the party?
- Yo, Brooks, I need you.
- Gonna ask her to prom, baby face?
If I wasn't on such
a top-priority case right now,
I'd say, "You so fat
you gotta drink diet water."
Run a search on all the stolen vehicles in
Westbury Heights in the last few months.
"Westbury Heights,
"yellow H ."
- Here it is.
- Thanks.
See, a bunch of cars were reported stolen
in Westbury since September.
All were registered to parents of Westbury
students and stolen on weekend nights.
What happens on weekend nights?
Bubble bath and a half-pint
of Chunky Monkey?
That's really freaky, Brooks, but no.
Parties.
Well, what does this have
to do with the case?
A yellow H was heisted
the night Warren Williams was found dead.
I have a hunch whoever jacked that ride
has something to do with Warren's death.
And Saturday night
I was at a party at my boy Al's crib.
This morning I found out that the Jag
his mom owns got jacked out the garage.
So you were at a party
where a car was stolen?
Whoever did it is gonna try to do it again
and I'm gonna catch 'em in the act.
How do you plan on doing that?
Throw a Saturday night soiree.
That's Caucasian for "party."
You know what? Cap lives in Westbury
with his rich, fine wife.
And he's going outta town this weekend.
I'll invite some kids with their pricey rides.
The perp's bound to make his move.
There is no way
the captain'll let you do that.
I can't live in a shoebox.
It would blow my cover.
(tire hisses)
- Hey, what's up?
- Today is just not my day.
I got a flat tire,
I ain't got no spare, my corns hurt...
Come on. I'll give you a ride.
Hm. Vintage ' Stingray.
Whose ride is this?
(Tre) Hey! 'Sup, Uncle Paco?
The lmpala got a flat, so, uh,
my man Rob here gave me a ride here.
To my crib, where I live.
Oh.
Uh, yeah, and you have
a beautiful home, sir.
- Oh, thank you very much.
- You should see the inside.
You know what?
You will on Saturday at the party.
- What party?
- Yeah, what party?
What party? Look at you acting all coy
and stuff. Man, you know what party.
See, he's goin' outta town this weekend
to visit his daughter - my cousin -
and, you know, he said I could throw a little
Saturday-night soiree for all my friends.
Isn't he the greatest uncle?
- See you on Saturday.
- (Tre) Saturday.
- (Rob) See you then.
- (Tre) All right.
- Smile and wave.
- Bye-bye.
What's up, my home pickle?
Alexander T Jeffries in the heezy.
I'm trying a little too hard, aren't I?
Just a little bit. Come on into the party
and get your thing right.
OK, how can a homie
score a hottie like that?
Oh, that's what you like?
Man, come on.
School's in session.
Watch and learn.
Ladies, how you doin'? I'm Tre and this is
my pimp friend here Alexander the Great.
- Oh, my God!
- Rob Donovan is here.
They probably had herpes anyways.
(burps) Oh.
Ten years in the force and the captain's
reduced us to baby-sitters.
We've been here for three hours, nothing's
happened, and nothing is gonna happen.
Oh, someone needs a hug.
No. What I need is a bathroom.
- (farts) Touching cotton over here.
- Oh, God.
(sighs) Go use the bushes.
I'm not squatting in the bushes.
I gotta drop a deuce.
Look, Cap said we have to stay
until all the kids go home.
Hey. We didn't realize
this was your place.
It wouldn't be a house party
unless we got our freak on for the host.
Word?
Wait. Y'all are right?
Put us together and we're .
Psst.
Psst.
Brooks, give me your magazine.
- What, are you having trouble?
- I need to wipe.
We're like a reverse Oreo.
Damn.
- Yo. You seen Rob?
- Yeah. He just left, like, two minutes ago.
Ladies, my brother from another mother.
Put it on him.
Yo! Yo, Tre, this place is crazy, huh?
Whoa! I know we haven't
gotten off on the right...
- I'm trying to say thank you for this party.
- Write me a thank-you note.
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.
(engine revs)
Oh, crap.
Come on, man.
Don't make me do this.
You lost 'em.
And you lost 'em.
All right, who wants to explain first?
My car was blocked in
so I took pursuit on foot.
Have you ever tried to catch a Corvette
in some Timberlands? I mean...
Maybe they should explain.
Uh, we were conducting surveillance
and at the time the perp made his move,
Gallecki was in the bushes
temporarily indisposed.
You were taking a dump on my lawn?
No.
- It was your neighbor's lawn.
- On my neighbor's lawn.
Get outta here. Gotta talk to Stokes.
Go on, both of you.
Look, Cap, I know you're upset about your
car, but I promise I'm gonna get it back.
- Did you have him?
- Who?
You know damn well who
I'm talking about. Did you have him?
I shot, but I missed.
You don't miss.
You're reckless. You're dangerous.
And I don't trust you anymore.
You're off the force. Pending investigation,
but you're off the force.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means find a new job.
- But all I was trying to do was make sure...
- Hey. It's over.
You got two days to pack up your stuff.
Let me finish school, then.
I'm close to getting my diploma.
Let me finish what I started.
All right. Yeah.
But as a student, not an officer.
"Add four parts vanilla."
Hey, that's not vanilla.
Well, you know,
chocolate has more flavor.
What are you doing here so late?
If I don't learn how to bake a cake,
my GPA will go down.
Mm. Looks good.
Yeah, it looks a lot better
than the first five I made.
Well, I'm impressed, Tracy Stokes.
And I'm not just talking
about the... about the cake.
Thanks.
So why don't you stop frontin'?
You know you want it.
Tracy, you can't be
saying things like that.
See? There you go.
Get your mind out the gutter.
I'm talkin' about the chocolate.
- You are freak. Ooh...
- Oh, stop.
(Tre) Me gusta. Mami.
No, no, it's cool.
Take your shoes off.
Mi casa es su casa.
Hey.
Brooks.
- What you doin' here so late?
- I'm always here this late.
I guess that would explain your buck-wild
weekends with Ben & Jerry, huh?
Tell me you're not here working
on the Warren Williams case.
Oh, no, no, no.
I was just using this file as a pillow.
Tre, I'm trying to get you
your old job back.
Just lay low for a while,
and you might be a cop again.
It ain't even about that.
Why do you care about this so much?
I been messin' up all my life.
Dropped out of high school
a month before graduation,
broke my dad's heart.
He said I wouldn't amount to anything
if I didn't get an education.
And that man meant the world to me.
I was nothin'
but a disappointment to him.
Look, Rob's a good kid, man.
He's just mixed up in a bad situation.
It makes no sense
that he would boost cars.
There's something else goin' down,
and I'm gonna prove it.
The Aronia bush,
a deciduous shrub which produces
wonderful succulent black chokeberries
that can be harvested
at this time of year.
There are some growing on the west sideof campus down by the old storage facility.(vehicle approaches)(bad Spanish accent)
Say hello to my little friend.
(car stops outside)(boys' voices)
- (Rob) You're overreacting.
- (Bos) Isn't it convenient?
He shows up in the middle
of the semester. Hm?
Then he chases you down with a gun?
- If someone stole my ride, I'd pull a piece.
- I'm tellin' you, he needs to be dealt with.
All right?
I haven't trusted that punk from day one.
That punk had my back on the beach
while you two made a jailbreak. Just relax.
No, no, Rob, I'm not just gonna relax, OK?
You act like nothing happened, man.
Not a day has gone by that I haven't
thought about what went down.
- We should call the police.
- And say what?
What are we gonna say?
That he blackmailed us?
Our part of the deal is done.
From now on, we're clean. All we have to
do is lay low and everything will be all right.
Just lay low.
That's the plan?
Let's go.
(door closes)
A stain on Warren Williams' shirt
was tested by forensics.
- It turned out the stain was...
- From an Aronia bush.
We know this. Those trees are
as common as BMWs in Westbury.
- It could have come from anywhere.
- Right, including on campus.
I was lookin' around on where
those trees are, and I found this.
You found a pen on a campus?
That's amazing.
Pay attention. Rob's name was written in
red ink on that notepad found at the scene.
I bet if you test this, you'll find
Warren's prints and an ink match.
- Kid was there. He was onto something.
- All right, what else you got?
I saw a gang of covered cars
being hauled off on a truck.
I followed the tracks.
It led me to a garage housing car racks.
- You saw the stolen cars?
- Nah, but... I saw this.
It's the same customized cap
from the Murdock bust.
You think this has to do with drugs?
I can't prove it, but I got a hunch it has
something to do with drugs and cars.
Rob and his boys are just puppets.
Somebody else is pulling the strings.
You got me up in the middle of the night
to come down here for a hunch?
Sometimes hunches
are how cases are solved.
- You're wasting my time, baby face.
- Look, G, I get it.
I look young, you look chunky.
It's not about that right now.
I need your help.
Together we can make this happen.
If what you say is true, we'll find out
when we question Donovan.
- What are you talking about?
- His prints were in the captain's garage.
As soon as we get the green light
from the commish, we're movin' on him.
(knock on door)(louder knocking)
You better have a very good reason
for wakin' me up at am.
- I brought you your paper.
- I get it delivered.
- I brought it from the driveway.
- Está tan viejo como Friegas.
Hey, I know what you sayin'.
No need for name-callin'.
What are you doing here, Tre?
I came by to ask you to hold off
on bringin' Donovan in.
Let Gallecki scope out the school.
My report says...
Hey. Unless you're talkin' about your book
report, I don't wanna hear about it.
Cap, my dad used to say if you don't stand
for something, you'll fall for anything.
If you arrest Rob,
you ruin this kid's whole future.
You should be thinkin' about your future.
Go to school. Learn something, Tre.
Dad also used to say if I needed someone,
I could turn to you.
Guess he was wrong about that.
If she can't take your needs...
Hey.
- 'Sup?
- Let's take a ride.
You know how to use one of these?
Shoot, the basketball court
ain't the only place I'm a sure shot.
Yo, man, what we doin' out here?
I read a really interesting chapter
in my history book about Benedict Arnold.
He made some good eggs.
No, he was a trusted and admired general
in the Revolutionary War.
But then he turned his back
and fought for the enemy.
- I'm sure he had his reasons.
- No, you never betray your men.
Sometimes it's the right choice.
What do you say we end this now,
so no one else gets hurt?
- No, I can't just surrender now.
- Have it your way.
How's it goin', boss?
Cars went off right on schedule.
Good. Good. Look, a small problem
has arisen that I need you to take care of.
Boscoe has given me
some unfortunate information
concerning that new student
Tracy Stokes.
So.
(man) What, you want us to?
You're kidding, right?
We're cool moving product for you,
but we're not...
months ago,
I was given a golden opportunity
to make up for the thankless years
I've devoted to Westbury
with its spoiled darlings
and their daddies' millions.
I can understand that, but we're not...
Tomorrow night sees the culmination
of all our hard work,
and I will allow no one to stand in the way
of what is coming to me.
So, please, less of the "drug dealers with
scruples" routine and just do as you're told.
Hm?
Cheer up.
I'm about to make you
the wealthiest grounds staff in history.
(boys) Guys goin' out!
(boy # ) Come on, fellas, let's do it!
(boy # ) We got these clowns, man.
Chicken! They're live!
(boy # ) Let's go!
- You wanted to see us, Cap?
- Yeah.
I want you to check out
the storage facility at Westbury.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Hey, Gallecki, just do it, OK?
Be sure to hit the shitter
before you go this time, too.
(phone rings)
Yeah.
- Everything on schedule?
- (Tre) Yo, Rob.
(Powers) Very good.
See you shortly.
I know you think you have nobody
to turn to, but you can turn to me.
What are you, my peer counselor?
I'm a cop.
- I thought you were my friend.
- Man, I am your friend.
Unless you let me know what's goin' on,
I can't help you.
We pulled a senior prank -
hot-wired Powers' car, and we totaled it.
- He'd expel us unless we boosted...
- Boosted the cars for him.
It would have ruined my life.
What about Warren?
He was investigating the thefts.
He must have been hiding somewhere
nearby, and then he followed us.
He saw us pull the Hummer
into the storage facility.
You saying Powers ran him over?
Why you protectin' him?
Powers hopped in the Hummer and
chased him, all right? That's all we saw.
- Tre, this is over. It's done.
- Man, this ain't done.
This is gonna be with you
for the rest of your life.
Tre!
If you're my friend, man,
you'll just let this go.
Can't do it.
(horn)(students cheer)
Let's go, fellas!
Come on, boys.
(Rob) Hey, guys, guys,
bring it in, bring it in.
- Where's Stokes goin'?
- He's out.
Out? What do you mean?
It's the championship game.
I'm out, too.
Cos, you're in for Tre.
- Rob, you sure about this?
- I got business to take care of.
- Who's gonna play for you?
- You wanna win? Put me in.
(horn)
All right, Saints on three.
One, two, three.
Saints!
OK, Al, stand right there.
Stay out of the way.
Hey, man, can we talk
to you for a second?
- I don't sign autographs.
- You might wanna rethink that.
Nice, Al. May be a shooter.
- Ms. Lopez.
- What's going on here?
- Why don't you head back?
- (Ms. Lopez) Are you OK?
- (man) Both of you in the car right now.
- Let's go.
- Get in.
- Get in the car!
(Tre) Nobody puts their hands on me.
Bruto.
- Headmaster Powers.
- Shut up!
- What's she doing here?
- She was with him.
Somebody, tell me what is going on!
I'm sorry, Karen.
You were one of my favorite teachers.
- Felix, what are you talk...
- Shut up.
I'm afraid your tenure at Westbury
has just come to an end.
Like I said, you only get one warning.
- Bring her with us.
- No.
Anything happens to her,
I'll bust in your British ass.
- It's gonna be cool.
- iSuéltame!
Hey, yo, Powers,
I'm gonna catch you later.
- You're hurting me!
- I have cuffs under the seats.
Get in!
(cry of pain)(man) Move!
Or what, birdbrain?
- You can't shoot me. I'm just a kid.
- I hate kids. Turn around, man!
Ask me nicely.
You ever heard the word "please"?
Freeze! LAPD!
Bitch.
Good thing you hate kids,
'cause now you can't have none.
I'm OK, I'm OK.
Brooks.
The headmaster's got Karen. I put my cell
phone in her pocket so we can trace it.
- We gonna get you to a hospital.
- (man) Dispatch.
This is Detective Gallecki.
Put a trace on Officer Stokes' cell phone.
We have a hostage situation.
A hunch, huh?
(man) We've tracked Stokes' phone
heading south on the .
- He's exiting at Long Beach Harbor.
- Got it. He's on the South.
- Look, G...
- Yo, T, go ahead.
Make it happen.
(groans)
- (Rob) You need another lift.
- I'm drivin'.
No, I got this. Get in.
Let me see your cell.
- (rings)
- Captain Delgado.
Hey, yo, Cap.
Brooks and Gallecki are hit,
a perp is down and dispatch
tracked my phone to the harbor.
Whoa. Dispatch, harbor...
Tre, what the hell's going on?
What's going on is I need mad backup.
Send the damn cavalry.
LAPD, SWAT, Hawaii Five- .
Whoever you got. It's goin' down!
I'll send some black-and-whites.
Go anywhere near that harbor, I'll file
obstruction-of-justice charges against you.
- (imitates static)
- Tre. I know you can hear...
Hey, if we end up having to be cellmates,
I got the top bunk.
- I brought some artillery.
- Since when are you strapped?
It's a paint-ball gun.
- Come on, man, let's go!
- If I scratch this car, my dad will kill me.
Your dad gonna kill... Man, you ain't
gonna get a scratch. Come on!
Go around 'em.
Oh, sh...
Oh, Lordy!
- (horn)
- Oh, shit!
(Karen) Let me go, Felix.
- Hey, let me go!
- We'll deal with her later.
- Julian.
- Felix.
- You're late.
- LA traffic. Always unpredictable.
I wondered why my customers wanted
to take those nice new cars overseas.
Speaking of which,
could we see some nice new cars?
Uh-uh-uh.
- The product?
- Felix.
- So your man's got you dealing, too?
- What are you talking about?
The storage facility was set up for Bliss.
All we did was jack the cars. I mean, we
wanted out. He forced us to keep stealing.
What does Powers want
with a bunch of stolen cars?
Look, I'm guessing he's selling
for a lot of cash.
Or trading it for a lot of Bliss.
Your worker bees have been busy.
Westbury students are known
for their dedication.
(Tre) Cut the lights.
There he go. He got his boys with him
like a bunch of English crips. Punk ass.
- So what's the play?
- See that warehouse?
Drive into it.
Like I said, if I get a scratch on this car,
my dad will kill me.
So, Professor, how's your chemistry?
Mr. Smith?
It's good.
Whose car is this?
Drive the car into the warehouse.
- You ready?
- Drive the car!
Drive this car into the warehouse.
- You happy, Felix?
- Blissful.
Jesus!
Get down!
Move!
Your daddy gonna kill you.
- Oh! You're on fire!
- Oh! Oh!
- Man, I need you to cover me.
- What?
(shouts)(shouts)
You're hurting me.
- Let her go!
- You're in no position to make demands.
One more step, and you ain't
gonna make it to the prison prom.
You wouldn't want me to hurt
your favorite teacher.
Karen...
Yo, Karen, you OK?
Stay here. Help's on the way.
OK. OK.
Told you I was gonna catch
your punk ass.
Go over by that barge.
There he is.
There he is, right there.
All right, take her down. Slowly.
Tre, Tre, grab on to the skid!
Grab on. We'll take you to shore.
Yo, Sumter, I'll handle this, man.
Thanks a lot.
You have nothing to worry about.
You guys are minors, under duress.
I'll talk to some people.
You won't see any jail time. You'll be fine.
I know. I'm just glad this is over.
Might have to put you on the side of
the freeway in an orange jumpsuit, though.
In the car, man.
Yo, Tre.
Thanks, man.
No doubt.
Keep your cheeks together.
Did you check on Brooks and Gallecki?
They're on their way to the hospital.
They'll be fine.
You knew I wasn't gonna
give up on that case, huh?
Yeah, well, it runs in the family.
Really think I got a chance
to be as good a detective as my pops?
No.
You got a shot to be better.
Come on.
- I'm fine. It doesn't hurt.
- I could take it from here.
- Here you go.
- Thanks a lot.
Tre, I can't believe you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Karen.
I couldn't tell you I was a cop.
No, I can't believe
you used perfect grammar.
Oh, see, I gotta give credit to my teacher.
She said if I put the work in, I'd succeed.
And, uh, speaking of work, I have to ask
you a couple of questions for my report.
Really? Look who's fronting now.
At least can we start
with your phone number?
No. It's not gonna be that easy, Tre.
Anyway, you don't think
you're a little too young?
Maybe there's a few years between us,
but I'm willing to put the time in,
figure out your likes and your dislikes.
I believe I deserve that chance.
Es verdad.
You do.
- (Delgado) I got it, honey.
- Yo, what's happening, Captain?
- Hey.
- Look. Bam!
Hey-hey, you got your diploma.
- They gave me a mid-year graduation.
- Oh, yeah?
Looks good on me, right?
What? Uh-huh...
As a matter of fact, it does.
I'm proud of you, Tre.
Look, Cap, I just wanna say thank you
for everything you've done for me.
Yeah, it's all good.
To show my gratitude, thought I'd hook
you up with a little something.
Oh, Juanita, my baby.
Ese.
Oh, so too much, eh?
You did good, Holmes.
Hey, you know,
tried to do what I could do.
I knew my job wasn't
quite done, you know.
(revs engine)
Sounds good.
What's this here?
Now it is.