Voila! Finally, the Valiant
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Ewan McGregor and
Ricky Gervais pigeon movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Valiant. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
I think I saw something!
Steady lads! We're almost home.
Just a few flaps more and we'll
be over the white cliffs of Dover!
Falcon!
- 5 o'clock and coming in hot!
- Then lift it 30!
Stay with me, private! Private!
Wing commander Gutsy.
This just in from a sea gull near Dover!
- None of them made it back alive.
- None of them?
- But those were some of our top fliers.
- I'm sorry, sir. I'm just a messenger pigeon.
If we don't find some more birds fast,
our goose is going to be cooked.
VALIANT
BIRDS ON THE MARCH
Across the nation and the globe
pigeons are taking wing
in the fight for freedom.
Delivering top secret messages
from behind enemy lines,
these fine feathered aviators are
the pride of the allied forces.
It's the Royal Homing Pigeon
Service that leads the way.
Whether cutting through enemy
lines or just cutting wise.
These proud pigeons are
the model of birdhood.
But don't count out the doves.
War bond birds play a vital role
in raising seeds for the troops.
Wait a minute! Ahoy mates!
Nursing doves at two o'clock.
Now that's what I call a task force.
Laundry bird bath. Why not?
These hearty heroes need to look their best.
Of course not just any pigeon
can make the cut.
But there's always room for
a few brave recruits.
And there they go. Off to
another exciting mission.
Homing pigeons, we salute you!
This is the shot boys, watch this.
Two in the corner, eight...
- Valiant, do you mind?
- Oh sorry. Felix!
Felix, I could do it!
I could do that, Felix!
- Do what, lad?
- I could be one of those brave recruits.
Taking wing in the fight for freedom,
I know I could! I know it!
Valiant! What, did I ever tell you?
When I was your age,
I was already on the shores of France.
Aquatic brigade.
Gull division.
If it weren't for me wooden drumstick
and that shrap of a limb poopdeck,
- I'd be out there right now.
- Maybe you're right.
I'm just what they're looking for,
a pigeon with that something extra.
You know it's not a bloke's wing span
that counts, it's the size of his spirit!
Hey everybody! Look outside!
Look at that move!
Royal Homing Pigeon Service! Magnificent!
Commander Gutsy!
The most decorated pigeon ever!
- Thank you very much! Yes! Much obliged.
- Come and have a drink with me now!
- What would it be, boys?
- Bug juice, shaken, not stirred.
The RHPS always drinks on the House!
- Bug juice. Shaken. Not stirred.
- Merci beaucoup ma chérie.
He spoke French!
- So, what's the news from the front?
- Can't say of course. Classified.
But danger is our business. And I'm
sorry to say, business is all too good.
Let me through! Got to get
to wing commander now!
- Excuse me, Wing Commander!
- Yes?
- Sir, where do I sign up?
- Aren't you a bit on the wee side?
Talking about a small wingspan pip-squeak.
There's always a place
for a few valiant birds.
Sign up is tomorrow in London.
Love to stay and chat, but
duty calls and we must answer.
Beaks up, boys!
Let's make wing.
Hip hip hurray!
Herr General!
Welcome back, General Von Talon.
-Congratulations, sir. Another triumph!
-Ya woll mein General!
Under the Geneva Convention as an officer
I have the right to be treated as a pigeon of war.
Have no fear, you vill be.
Take him to the cage!
Get your talons off me! Filthy vultures!
Pigeons, pathetic little creatures.
You don't eat your prisoners at war, do you?
Eat you!
I'm a vegetarian.
And yet you wear a leather cape?
- Who is your contact in the resistance?
- You know they'll send a crack team to rescue me?
Rescue you?
You're a pigeon!
- How important do you think you are?
- VIP. Very Important Pigeon!
Very Impudent Pigeon!
Who is your contact in the Resistance?
-Oh no.
-Speak!
This canary will never sing.
- Listen to your mother, you can't go!
- Mum, there's a war going on and I want to do my bit!
- Buy why! Why! Why!
- Oh, mum! Good bye.
Those falcons are going to tear you apart!
- oh Mum!
- My dear little baby!
Mother, that's not helping!
- Mother, honestly, I'm going to be fine!
- You were such a cute little egg!
Mum, I'm not an egg anymore!
It's time I left the nest.
No one thinks I can do this.
Maybe my only chance to show them
and myself that they're wrong!
Well, at least have some
breakfast before you go.
Oh Mum, Mum! Aargh! No. Thanks!
- Valiant!
- Right then.
I love you.
Good bye!
He'll always be little to me.
- Ahoy there Valiant!
- I'm off now Felix! Wish me luck!
- Good luck!
- Good bye!
That boy is gonna get creamed.
LONDON
Valiant pigeon! Fearless flier!
Pride of the Allied forces.
Feared by the enemy.
Loved by the ladies. Humble.
Spits danger smack in the eye!
Look at that!
It's London!
Alright. Listen up. This is easy. I mean for
intelligent guys like you, I can tell ya,
All you gotta do - keep your eyes on
the pebble. You can't go wrong.
She is shy. Give her a chance and
she will give you the slip.
Find her and the crumbs is yours!
Easy as pie.
I don't know how I stay in business. There it is.
Not under that one. Where is it now?
Find her and the crumbs is yours!
Which one is it under?
- That one!
- That one?
Oh, no! Bad luck again!
Give it one more go? Law of averages.
I think you're gonna win this time.
Serious thing, which
one has the pebble?
Wow! In all the excitement I forgot myself.
Why don't you gents say to a game of...
- You big cheat! Give me my crumbs back!
- On the level gents. Listen, I know what you're thinking...
Come and get me, falcons!
Strike me down if I tell you lie.
Look at him. That was lucky.
Prayers were answered.
That's never worked before but...
-Hello, mate!
-I lost control, but then...-you could not have
picked a better time to have dropped in.
- Bugsy's the name.
- I'm terribly sorry, I'm Valiant.
- So what brings you to my manor?
- Well, I've come to be an aviator.
With the Royal Homing Pigeon Service.
Fighting for king and country!
You don't say. Well, I've never been much
of a hope and glory bird myself.
I'm rather partial to a little
something called freedom.
Yeah, oh yeah, I flit about as I please.
No one telling me what to do, or when to do it.
- Are those flies?
- Oh, they're friends of mine.
So, RHPS recruit in the head.
Good idea! Right this way mate.
I'm feeling rather patriotic
myself all of a sudden.
- There he is!
- Come on, after him.
Let's keep going, come on.
He's here somewhere.
I can smell him.
Follow my lead, mate.
- Hello. Two to enlist please.
- Valiant pigeon.
- Reporting for duty, sir.
- Never heard of you.
Valiant pigeon.
The Valiant pigeon.
- You don't have Valiant on your list?
- No!
- Clerical error.
- Should I have?
Yes, I think you should have. Look at him!
He's a perfect specimen. Do something.
He's as fast as lightning,
strong as knocks.
Very tall for his height. Stand up.
Sit back down again.
The bird's a legend in the Starling Hump???shire area.
Too small! Ye should be yea high
and you're not even "hey" high.
- Charming, that's charming that is.
- And you!
- Have ye by any chance heard of a birdbath?
- Sad truth is, I've got me a rare feather condition.
Can't go near a bath. Or look at a bath.
It makes me itch.
Clear off the territory. Get lost!
- But, Wing Commander Gutsy...He....
- Yes. Wing Commander Gutsy. That's right.
Valiant's best mate.
They went to school together.
You don't wanna get on
the wrong side with him,
if he hears about this you're
gonna lose those stripes, mate.
- You know Wing Commander Gutsy, you say?
- Well... Oh, yeah.
- Well, that makes a difference. Sign here.
- Thank you. Thank you, sir.
There he is!
You dirty clowns!
When I get hold of you,
I'm gonna knock your beak off!
- Hey! That's it! Enough.
- Get your wings of me!
- Where do I sign up?
- Just sign here.
- All right gents, in you go.
- Thank you, sir.
Who is this Gutsy geaser anyway?
If I see your ugly face around
here, I'm gonna have you!
- We made it!
- Safe and sound.
We're in the Royal Homing Pigeon Service!
The elite of the elite! Fighting
the heroic battle to save...
- To save...
-To save our tail feathers,which worked like a charm.
Even though I say so myself.
So with that I'll be hittin' the skyway.
Cheers mate, good luck. God bless.
If you make it back in one piece, be sure to...
...look me up...
Hello? Hello?
Gents, hello! Hello!
- No! There's been a terrible mistake!
- Trust me, this is all gonna work out brilliantly.
Hey! Come on! Come back!
I've been shainghaied.
That's a bit bright.
- Sorry about that.
- I didn't mean to hurt ya little fella.
Hey, little fella! It's not the
size of your wing span, no!
- It's the size of your spirit!
- If you say so, mate.
- Can't argue with that.
- I'm Tailfeather, this is Toughwood, my brother.
Not the sharpest beak on the block.
- What?
- But...
If you're ever in the scrum, there's
no better bird to have on your team.
Absolutely.
- Nice to meet you. I'm Valiant.
- Valiant? It's good to meet you.
- Let's go! It's two for Tailfeather.
- Six to none.
For quite an elite unit, on quote they
seem to be letting almost anything in with wings.
Including those flies, circling your bottom.
- Koi! Who do you think you are?
- I'm Lofty Thadious Worthington Pigeon.
I come from a long and
honourable line of warrior pigeons.
Hello lads!
I trust you've had a pleasant journey.
Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say
the ride was a bit bumpy on the way in.
Maybe, check the suspension on that motorbike.
And actually we are a wee bit thirsty, if we could
have some cold drinks, that would be nice.
Oh, oh good, that can certainly be arranged.
Right up! When did I sprout beak feathers
and turn into a flamingo!?!
Now fall in! Feather brains.Fall in!
For the next six weeks
your tails belong to me.
You'll learn to march like birds,
fly like birds and fight like birds.
I will make birds of you turkeys
even if it kills you!
- Except you. You won't last a week.
- Permission to die trying, sir!
It's like this, ladies. You will shape up
and you will shape up fast
or I will personally drum you out of the corps!
Funny, you should...I would love to get drummed out.
I was gonna bring it up if you hadn't.
- Hey, leave him alone! He helped me to...
- Pipe down, pip-squeak!
I'm more interested in having
you all drop and give me
courtesy of your short little friend here.
Training at last.
I say ol'Bean. Wouldn't it be more sporting if the
chap who actually committed the infraction...
Gentlemen, welcome to the
Royal Homing Pigeon Service.
For the last time, what was your mission?
And where are these
messages coming from?
Very well. Have it your way.
- Do you want us to pluck out his feathers?
- And to clip his wings?
Let his feelings?
No, worse. Much worse.
We have ways of making you squawk.
What kind of birds are you?
What is this yoddling music!
One two, one two and halt!
Now fall out and report
to the nursing doves.
- Hello nurse.
- Look at her!
- Well, I've been waiting for you.
- Do you have a little something
for a brave pigeon about to
go into battle? Hey, darling?
It just so happens I do
have something for you.
- Did you hear that?
- Is this what you had in mind?
Wow. It's awfully big. You're
kind of short for a nursing dove.
Look who's talking, I'd say you're kind
of short for a carrier pigeon.
- I'm Valiant by the way.
- All right then Valiant. I'm Victoria.
I know you lads have had a tiring day,
and what you need is a nice relaxing shower.
Then I'll treat ya to a fancy dinner.
We'll get your little feather cut.
Set you up with some uniforms.
- Oh, beg your pardon.
- Did that hurt?!
- Did that?!
That's it!
Come here!
And we'll all turn in for a good night's sleep.
So this is where the smelly rotten
bits of disgusting refuse sit out.
And our sleeping quarters would be where?
I'll never sleep in here.
- Well, this isn't so bad.
- Oh, just like home.
I've had enough!
Speak!
Lieutenant Mercury, Royal
Homing Pigeon Service, .
Bring me the truth serum.
Come on, come on.
- One shot of this and we will know everything.
- I'll never talk! Never! Never!
Wakey wakey!
You bird brains are Squad F.
You know what that means?
- Squad Fantastic!
- I've got it! Squad Formidable!
Philosophical!
No, it means you are
the fliers of the future.
The far future!
But my job, somehow, is
to make you the carrier pigeons of today.
Good maneuver. It might help
if you kept your eyes open.
- Better get you back to your nursing dove.
- Thanks, Bugsy.
You must really like it here, because this is
the third time this week you've been in to see me.
- I wish you'd be more careful.
- Oh, don't you worry.
Where I come from, danger is our business.
Oh yeah, we spit danger in the eye.
If the condition, I can take it.
- And where do you come from?
- West Nestington.
That's near Nestington, it's
close to the west of it actually.
Oh, Valiant!
Well I have to return to my duties, so...
- Good bye.
- Oh, Valiant wait!
As homing pigeons it's our
duty to transport messages.
In the worst of conditions
wind, hail, sleet, snow,
bombs exploding, bullets flying
and as if that weren't enough,
mother nature has the audacity
to create a little something called
The Falcon.
Twenty pounds of pigeon eating muscle,
measuring five of your wing spans.
They like to blind side their prey,
at speeds in excess of miles per hour.
But not to bite. Not yet.
The first strike is merely for impact.
They'll let you drop of it.
Making sure you're defenseless, and
scoop you up in their razor sharp talons.
And in the dark of the night you'll have not but a
split second to recognize friend from foe.
Friend or foe?
- Foe!
- No!
You idiots, it's a pigeon!
Friend or foe?
- Foe! No!
- Friend!
- No, it's a foe.
- Yes, yes!
Friend or foe?
- Friend!
- Friend!
. . . .
To survive his mission a pigeon must have
the strength to carry his message capsule.
You must have the speed
to fly like the wind.
He must have the agility
to outmaneuver the enemy.
And he must have the
endurance to battle the elements,
flying long distances over raging seas.
- Me again.
- Valiant.
Oh, my favourite!
How did you know?
The parrot says to me "How about we do a loop o loop?"
I says I can't loop a loop.
He says, "Why ever not?" I say, "Well, I'm afraid of heights!"
He says, "You afraid of heights? That's ridiculous!"
Maybe to you mate. But not to me.
- That's it!
- Come on!
- Afternoon Monty!
- Hello Guts. What news?
Not good I'm afraid. We just
lost Squadron E over Belgium.
That means these new
recruits are our only chance.
- They'll have to leave tomorrow.
- You can't be serious.
They haven't even finished their training.
Sorry, but those are the orders. Have
them ready at : tomorrow Monty ol'boy. Cheers.
Commandor Gutsy is here, so I
suppose you'll be shipping out soon.
I know! I know! I can't wait! This is
the moment I've been waiting for!
Well, I'd like to be part of
what you come home to.
I don't care if you're a hero. Just
concentrate on the getting back.
You need to understand something, lads.
Our losses have been heavy. We got to stop it.
You're all we've got! And so
today we fight for our country.
Tomorrow our feathers may be plucked from our
lifeless bodies, our innards spread like jam on toast,
And our bones fed to rabid weasels. But never mind that.
On this day, in this place,
let it forever be known
that you, pigeons did your
part in the heroic battle for...?
- Seeds!
- Freedom!
Right! You will be Commander
Gutsy's support wing.
I'll expect you to do whatever it takes
to ensure the success of his mission.
Chaps, the message we have been sent
to carry is of the utmost importance.
The outcome of the war could well depend on it.
We pigeons have never been entrusted
with a more critical or dangerous mission.
May you fly straight! And may
your instinct guide you home.
- What did Gutsy mean by 'highly dangerous'?
- I don't know. But I can tell you this.
I am a bird of principle. And
my number one principle is
don't get involved with anything
called 'highly dangerous'!
And I will never violate my core beliefs. Do
not ask me to violate my core beliefs.
You're talking to the wrong pigeon.
Sir, point of clarification please.
Regarding that highly dangerous mission.
I got a doctor's note. - Zip it Stinky.
Sure, I understand. I truly regret that I have
but one life to give for my country.
- I'd love to die. Can't. Not Sunday. Bad for me.
- Are you finished?
Not quite, listen, maybe I'm not
that conscientious, but I do object.
Get back to the barracks! Now!
Do I still have to go on
the dangerous mission?
- Now!
- Yep.
- I'll take that as yes, I do.
- Now!
- Hey, hey. Where are you going?
- Keep it down, mate.
- Got some serious flying ahead.
- Flying, what do you mean flying?
- Flying to where?
- Back to old Trafalgar square, son.
- You're not leaving, you'll break up the team.
- Team? I'm not a team player.
Old bug Buster plays solo. Maybe the question isn't
why I'm leaving, but why you're staying?
Why am I staying? Because
it's my duty, it's our duty!
Hold on! Sorry!
Have I missed something?
Did we start this? No.
Did we make those?
Or those? I've seen them before, mate.
And it's not a pretty sight.
The truth is, I'm scared. Alright?
Don't tell them that.
Cause I'll deny it.
- Well, I'm scared too.
- Then come with me.
- Trafalgar Square will be ours. Come on!
- But we didn't make Trafalgar Square either.
Where do we go when they start
dropping bombs there?
- No, I'm staying. I'm doing my bit.
- Yeah. They're lucky to have you, mate.
Anyway, keep your wings dry, yeah?
- What's happenin'?
- What's going on?
It's time for me to fly the coop, all right?
So, I guess this is farewell.
- Wait, where are you goin'?
- You can't just leave, Bugsy.
Look, I've got urgent
business to take care of.
I better catch the wind
while it's blowing.
Look me up when you get back, yeah?!
You know where I'll be!
Gentlemen, take your places!
Our mission is to be dropped behind
enemy lines in occupied France.
To make contact with
the French resistance.
To get a vital top secret message and bring it
back here by sun down tomorrow.
Good luck. The fate of the freedom
loving world depends on us.
- Wait!
- Hey, Bugsy!
You can't go without me!
I can't let you get all the glory!
Good luck, lads.
- Hey, Bugsy! Thanks for coming back!
- I'll tell you the truth,
it's the first worth while thing I've ever done.
We're gonna be fine. Right, Lofty?
Indubitably! Birds of a feather and all that. What?
- Right Lofty ol'mate. We stick together.
- Hey Tailfeather, can you believe that
we're the ones they pick to send on the
most important mission in World War II?
- Yeah!
- Me too!
Truthfully, I'm not a good singer anyway.
Always off key.
- Enough already! You've been chattering for days!
- Hey, who gave me the serum?
You want me to talk, okay I'm talking.
Truth be told, I'm glad you did this. Homing
Pigeon racket is all well and good,
but it's a stiff upper beak
rubbish all the time.
I got feelings and I wanna express them.
I always used to think my favourite color was blue,
cause it's for boys. Now I realise. . .
Shut up! Shut up!
I demand better treatment I mean
the mice don't treat me like this!
You know those charming litle Resistance chappies
with their fabulous view over the harbour
the last time I was in the attic in St. Pierre...
St. Pierre?
O the truth serum is genious.
Cover his cage!
- I'm curious what is your favourite color?
- Pink!
Not like a hot pink, or a pastely pink,
just a kind of, well of, a pink pink.
You know what I mean,
none of the rinky dink pinks.
- Excuse me.
- I like pink too.
Come on! Cheer up, Valiant!
Stiff upper beak.
- Gentlemen, get ready to drop!
- Are you ready to drop?
I think I've dropped already!
It's okay to be scared, fellows!
I'd be worried if you weren't.
It won't get better,
but you'll get used to it!
Go! Go! Go!
It's jammed!
- Sir, let me help you!
- No! Go now! That's an order!
Yes, sir.
Come on Gutsy,
get out off there!
Oh, come on.
- Hello? Hello? A little help chaps?
- Hold on there, we'll get you out of there now.
Cheers! A bit of a tenuous landing that.
But I dare say it could've been worse.
- Look out!
- O my!
- Sorry Lofty.
- Not to worry, old chap.
I say, a bit of a muddle, this.
- But at least we're all in one piece.
- Not quite all.
- Where's Gutsy?
- He was still in the plane.
- What do you mean he was still in the plane?
- His cage got stuck. I don't think he got out.
Ah, well that's it! We're dead!
We're finished! It's been a good run. Nice knowing you.
You're quite mistaking, ol'boy.
I'm sure he made it out.
Gutsy always makes it out, he's going to
come and find us any minute now.
And give us the plans for the mission.
- Then who has the back-up plan?
- You want the back-up plan?
- We die. That's the back-up plan.
- But I'm not ready to die!
- Am I ready? No one's asked me!
- So many books to read! Regrets!
That's it. We're dead.
Thank you very much.
Everyone be quiet. Quiet!
We need a plan.
And the plan is, is to find a safe
location to plan the next move.
- You heard the bird.
- So our plan is to make a plan?
Come on.
France is spooky.
(Vive la France!)
Quiet! Did you hear that?
There's someone in there!
Somebody better go and have a look.
All right, I'll go.
All right you turkies, let's go.
Valiant, just pull yourself together.
There's nothing in here.
Unless you're counting guns, bombs,
all the falcons, the pigeon-eating falcons.
Pigeon-eating falcons!
Tailfeather, let's take you out of the grail.
- Vive la France!
Pardonnez-moi, my pigeon friends.
You are the RHPS, non?
- Yes sir.
- French Résistance, Mars Division.
- Well, I'm glad to see ya. I'll tell you.
- How did you not find us?
- Well, there was the plane and the explosion.
And this gleaming and bleeding.
More screamings and beggins and cryings,
whinings, winging, yelling, boohooing.
- Enough about that.
- Absolutely.
Definitely, yep.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Charles De Girl.
- De Girl? Why did they call you De Girl?
- Because I am a girl. The one and only girl.
- I like France.
- Do you speak French?
- Well, mais oui...
- Does 'o là là' mean anything to you?
Or 'va va voom! Oh yeah! Does bonjour..?
All right! We don't have time for this!
You have a message, we have a mission.
- Let's get on with it!
- Not so fast, monsieur!
This is Rallo. He's an expert in sa...
Sabotage!
Sabotage!
Pardon.
Now monsieur, before you
continue on your mission,
it's our national custom to...
- Break the bread?
- And cut the cheese.
- Thank you for your hospitality,
but we just don't have time to eat.
And anyway we're birds.
- We don't eat cheese.
- We don't?
- Look, about that message.
- We will take you to it. But the road is dangerous.
And guarded by the enemy falcon.
But this cannot be a problem for
such highly trained pigeons.
- That is why you are squad A, oui?
- The things is you see...
- Squad B?
- Not squad B.
Squad C?
So then you are squad D?
Just between us, squad D was never
really what it was all cracked up to be.
I will not lie to you, you will
definately be eaten the falcons.
- Wow, that was some fine fromage.
- Can you burp on cue?
I can burp on all the letters. Not just Q.
Watch this. A. B. C.
Shhh! Be silent! The falcons!
- I say!
- Excuse me.
Come on.
Falcons!
All clear!
Stop that!
Oh, Squad F.
- We are here.
- This is invigorating.
The attic! There it is!
Fly, English pigeons! Fly!
- Oh, dear. Sorry.
- Dirty bird!
Lofty pigeon at your service.
Hold on, mademoiselle.
He's heavy, this one!
- There they are
- Faster!
Sabotage!
To the right! Over there!
I'm gonna get you!
Hold on, De Girl!
This is it!
I must do the secret knock.
- Who is it?
- De Girl.
- We must do the secret password.
- Jacques, there is no time!
- 'Ba, ba black sheep. Have you any?'
- Wine?
No, no, that is yesterday's password.
- Trees?
- No.
- Seeds?
- No, no.
- Petunias?
- Falcons!
Jacques, move it!
- Let me give you le message.
- You can give me le massage.
Can you make sure it's a full body massage.
Message! The message that is to go to
London. Our freedom depends on it.
And who will carry them?
- Wait. I'll take it.
- Bugsy?
- Extraordinary!
- And you said you weren't a team player.
- Well we'll see now won't we?.
- Good luck, Bugsy.
- May you fly straight.
And let our instincts guide us home.
Good bye. And good luck, pigeons!
Okay, farewell.
Absolutely charmed.
Just one tiny thing. How are we gonna
get out of here! We're trapped!
I've got an idea!
I've got an idea!
Where are they?
Let's go!
- Hey, it worked like a charm!
- They'll be teaching that one at the academy!
- I just hope the others are okay.
- You can't count on it!
- Evasive action!
Let's go.
Get your claws off him! I say let go!
I'm the one you want!
You can't do better than
that, you English pigeon!
Bugsy!
- Bugsy!
- Dinner time!
Bugsy!
It was not easy, Herr General.
But I have...
captured their leader!
- The leader?
No, perhaps, assisstant leader.
- But more importantly, Herr General.
- Get on with it!
May I present you with...
the message! Ta-ta.
The high commander will be pleased!
There will be medals, photographs,
commemorative stamps!
I will personally deliver it to him.
They must be desperate indeed to give the
message to this putrid smelling reject.
Oh no, Dennis! You've squooshed!
He was my favourite.
I am putrid stinky rotten. Eat me,
you'll be sick for a week.
- Take him away!
- No!
I've got a doctor's note.
I've got a feather condition!
Wait. On second thoughts
he may prove useful.
Yes! Oh, yes!
Oh, thank you.
You're very wise.
What would you like?
Cards? We can play cards.
Find the pebble?
I've got a lovely voice.
That probably annoys ya...
I was thinking more along the lines
of a celebration dinner.
Celebration dinner!
Brilliant idea!
I cook well! Not I cook well!
I won't be in it. I can make the dinner.
Bread crumbs! You'll love...
Oh, you haven't tried my
bread crumb bird-seedy thing.
No, pigeon under glass.
It was a lovely liebfrau milch reduction.
What did you do to him?
- You're all right, mate?
- Wait a minute now!
It's a feng-shui.
That little bell should be over there!
Who was I kidding?
I don't belong here.
I've let everyone down. Bugsy wouldn't
even be here if it weren't for me.
Chaps! There's Valiant! Look! Follow me!
Hey! Lofty! Toughwood!
- Chaps!
- Gutsy! You're alive!
What happened?
Tell us what happened!
Plane exploded. Chute gave out.
Free fall at feet. Set upon
by a pack of wolves.
Flew through barbed wire, picked up
some shrapnel from a stray grenade.
Fought my way to the rendez-vous
when here we are.
Right! We can dispense
with the chit chat.
I'm guessing the falcons have acquired the message.
- Yes, sir.
- Where's Bugsy?
He sacrificed himself to save me.
The falcons got Bugsy and the message.
- Which way did they go?
- That way.
Oh, no!
Britania rules the waves!
Come on, pull yourself
together. Snap out of it!
Come-on Bugsy ol'boy, let's find us
a way out of here.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
Right. You chaps sit tight.
I'll fly in avoiding the various,
clever booby traps and deadly ambushes.
Then subdue any resistance.
And secure the message.
Absolutely. Gutsy by
name. Gutsy by nature.
I will bathe.
- Bring me my best cape.
- Yes, Herr General.
- Join the army you said.
- You did, it was your idea.
I'll have none of this! I'm not listening!
I'm afraid it's not as
simple as I thought.
This is a highly fortified bunker stuffed
to the gills with enemy falcons.
There's only one opening, scarcely
big enough for a hummingbird.
It's down the barrel of that gun.
Gentlemen, I'm afraid it's hopeless.
I'll do it!
Bugsy?
I'm too young to die!
I can't believe it!
- Hey!
- Hey?
- Valiant?
- Bugsy.
Hey! The message!
It's in there.
Oh, no! Red says strong and decisive!
- Red it is!
- Yes, General!
- No wait, the blue was the actual trim.
- As many capes as you like,General.
They're coming!
Valiant, get down!
- How many capes does someone need?!
- I'm sick of capes! I hate capes!
Here it goes.
- Now, I'll get you out of here Bugs.
- It's of no use, he took the key with him.
- Complete the mission!
- But Bugsy! I can't!
Forget about me! You've got the
message, now get out of here!
- No, Bugsy!
- Go.
Don't! Don't do it!
Underlink?
- Underlink!
- Ya, Herr General!
- My beak brush!
- Ya, Herr General.
- Cufflink?
- Ya, Herr General!
- My talon clippers.
- Ya, Herr General!
Valiant! They're coming!
- Get him!
- Stop him!
What's going on!
- Bugsy!
- Valiant!
Come on, last chance. Get up!
What is that repulsive odeur?!
Not to rush or anything,
gotta go! Come on!
Well done, my lad!
- You're from Squadron E, right?
- It's a long story, I'll tell you later!
You idiots!
Valiant! Bugsy! On cue!
- We did it!
- You made it!
- And the message?
- Yes, sir! Safe and sound.
- Good man!
- Thank you, sir.
Right lads, we have a message
to deliver. Let's make wind!
Those falcons are gonna think
twice before they try to mess with us!
Enemy fliers!
Toughwood! Tailfeather!
- Figure of ! Disperse!
- Yes, sir!
Come on lads, attack formation!
Valiant, complete the mission.
You know where to go.
Keep it tight now!
Let's go chaps!
You look tired, little bird? Wouldn't
you like a rest in my belly?
- So you are the elite? The best of the best?
- There's more to me than meets your eye.
I hope I'm gonna make it.
I think I'm gonna make it.
I'm going to make it!
You can't escape me, pigeon!
Valiant back so soon!
And alive! Excitable boy!
Falcon! Sound the alarm!
Sound the alarm!
It's just you and me now, pigeon!
This is where it ends.
You are nothing but
a lowely roof pigeon.
You are no match for a falcon royal.
It's just as I imagined!
Pieces and shreds!
Valiant!
- You great ugly ....
- .... you dirty falcon!
Come out, little birdy. I may
even spare your puny little life!
Just stay calm.
You can do this!
You pip-squeak!
My name is not pip-squeak!
My name is Valiant!
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a message to deliver.
That's my boy!
Valiant? You've made it?
Valiant pigeon.
Sir, I have a message to deliver.
WAR ROOM
Gentlemen, a change of plan.
We now land in Normandy.
FOR VALOUR
Well done, son.
This could mean promotion.
- I'm proud of you. You are credit to the Service.
- Thank you. Thank you, sir. It's been a...
Sorry! Sorry!
- Valiant!
- Well done ol'boy!
You little beauty.
Well done, mate.
Seeds!
WINGED WAR HEROES
Ahoy there, Valiant!
Bug juice on the house of course.
- I'm the hero around here.
- No, no. I'm the hero. You wanna see...
Will you shut up.
I was doing alright till you came along.
- Hello, handsome!
- I say!
- Shall we shake a tailfeather?
- Certainly!
- Oh, sergeant!
- Oh Valiant, maybe you would like a dance?
- Sorry, I'm not available.
Well I can't stress enough how available I am.