Vampire's Kiss Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Vampire's Kiss script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Nicolas Cage movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Vampire's Kiss. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Vampire's Kiss Script





It was very...



I got up, took a shower,

made myself coffee.



I kept telling myself, I'll wake her up

after I do this or this little step.



That's not true. I knew I was going to delay

waking her up for as long as possible.



What was it you really wanted?



I wanted her... Same as always,

I wanted her to disappear.



I wanted her to be

the hell out of there.



And she got the hell out of there.



She took the hint.



She woke up, you were dressed,

ready to go to work.



More or less, yeah. She took the hint.



And yet, just the night before...



You wanted her very badly?






I know. Really badly.



He can stretch himself...



He can stretch himself

from here to Ethiopia.



- We said him already.

- No, no. The rubber man.



He's the last of the Fantastic Four

that we've been searching for.



No, we already said him.

Look, there's a taxi. Taxi!



We are not in need of coach service, my lady.



- This is my kingdom and my palace...

- Come on. Come on.



- Be off.

- Goddam you fucking mind.



- Cock-suckers.

- Be off!



- The fireball.

- The one made of brown stones.



- That's Brownstone Man.

- No, his name is Lighter Brown.



God, the telephone company.



How could I take home a girl who work s

for the telephone company? Go home.



I'm the director of personnel.



She hires those incompetents. Oh, no.



What do you do, Mr Wise Guy?






- A bit of chess?

- Yeah, baby.



- Checkmate.

- Does that mean you win?



A fucking bat!



All right now, just relax.



Oh, right.



Shoo! Shoo!



- "Shoo"?

- Shoo!



There's a... Never mind.



- Did you get it out?

- Let's go.



If I'd known you had

a fucking roommate...






Alva. Alva!



Yes, Mr Loew.



All right. Frank Heatherton

wants a copy of the first contract



he had for the sale

of his short story...



Rattesnake His, De Spiege.



It was his first foreign sale, and now

he wants to frame the agreement.



The story was sold in     .



And I know that's a long time

before either of us were here,



but there is no reason why the agency

shouldn't have a copy of it.



I looked under the Heatherton files

and under Rattesnake His



but I'm asking you to go through

the entire De Spiege file



because that is a fat file

and nothing is in order.



It will take hours,

but it will be there.






- Please find it and bring it to me.

- Yes, Mr Loew.



Peter? Joel Reznick on O .



Mr Loew?



Mr Loew? Are you there?



Starting with

your earliest years when you



somehow were taught to expect



something that wasn't

even halfway attainable.






- Well, I guess my time's up.

- We have a couple more minutes.



You know, lately...


            have always been telling me

when our time is up.



And I just wonder if maybe...?



Does it make you feel

a little insecure when I say...



- Well, what?

- Nothing. I was remembering...



I brought this girl up to my place

the other night. Really hot, you know.



And we're on the bed.



Suddenly, this bat

comes swooping down out of nowhere.



- A bat?

- Holy shit.



But this really happened.



This part I don't know if this

really happened or I dreamt it later.



I'm fighting this bat off all alone



and I'll be damned

if I didn't get... really turned on.



- You were aroused?

- Yeah.



But seconds before, you were

in the throes of passion.



- Yeah, I know.

- So then you were aroused.



- With the girl?

- Yes, with the girl.



Oh, sure. Yes. Absolutely.

But then she left the room and I was...



I mean... I came down.



I was in mortal combat

with a fucking bat. Give me a break.



You were fighting off the bat



and that's when

you had this new feeling?



Then, yes.

That is the precise order of events.



- And on that note...

- Oh, oh, yes.



- See you on Tuesday.

- Bye-bye.



Alva. I didn't see, did you find

that Heatherton contract?



I checked the files under Heatherton

and Rattesnake His,



but I couldn't find it.



I guess I'm gonna have to look

under the De Spiege files.



I told you that I already checked those files.

I already checked them.



Sorry. I must have misunderstood.



I'm gonna get right to it.



I don't know, maybe.



...inconceivable to me

that you like that play.



Oey, how you odo hg?

My hamoes Gay, whats you s?



I don't save the same amount

I put in the other account.



Say I put      dollars in the IRA.



That doesn't mean I save     

at income tax time.



It's more like    . Right, Peter?



Plus, I get interest on the     

in the other account.



...raise high the roof beam.



- Did you get that joke?

- No.



I love your earrings.



Thank you.



I'm Peter Loew.
























Yes. Yes.



Yes. Yes.



Who are you?



It's all right.



It's all right.



You chose me.



What a glorious Sunday.

How nice not to have to go in to work.



No comments on my coffee, please.

If you don't like it, I'll send out.



I do it all the time.



Well, do you like it?



I gotta take a piss.



You have reached Peter.



I am not in at the moment,

but leave your name, number and a message.



I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you.



Forget about

getting back to this girl. You son of a bitch.



You don't just walk out

on somebody like that, you bastard!



Don't you ever call me again.

You fuck! Fuck you!



Yeah, well fuck you, too, sister.



So... How was your weekend?



It was all right.



It was nothing earth-shattering.



Did you hurt yourself?



- Just cut myself shaving.

- Oh.



Well, Peter.



Why don't we begin

where we left off last week?



You started to tell me about

this strange feeling you had



when this bat flew through

the window of your apartment.






The feeling of exultation

that you experienced.



You made it sound as though it were



something more than sexual.



I don't... really know

what you're talking about.



I don't remember.



You were sure about it last weekend.

It made a strong impression.



Oh, yes. OK. I know.



I guess I was pretty horny.



Pretty keyed up from being

with the girl right before.



I was drunk, too. That was it.



I'd had a little to drink.



I was a little drunk.

Plus I was horny.



And have you seen this girl again?






Peter? Frank Heatherton on O .



All right. And Judy,

send Alva in here right now.



Yes, Mr Loew.



That's Frank Heatherton on the phone. For me.



He's calling about the contract

which he still hasn't gotten a copy of.



How do I know he hasn't gotten a copy?

Because I haven't sent it to him.



Why haven't I sent it to him?

Because you haven't found it.



Now, it's fucking Tuesday and

I still don't see it on my desk. Do you?



Huh, Alva? No!



I'm going through the files,

but I have a million other things to do.



I want you to be here and listen to

the song and dance that I have to do.



That I have to do, because you

haven't done your job. Ready?



- Hi, Frank. How are you?

- Hello, Peter. I'm fine, thank s.



I just wanted to say

about that letter I sent,



requesting the copy

of Rattesnake His' sale to De Spiege.



There's absolutely no rush on that.

It's an old contract.



I'm sure you and your girls

got better things to do.



I'm in the middle of moving, so

I'll give you a call when I'm settled in.



Yeah, OK, Frank.



- So, is life treating you well?

- Yeah, Frank.



- Good. Take care, old buddy.

- All right. Bye-bye, Frank.






Seems I didn't have to do

a song and dance after all, Alva.



As you could hear,

I couldn't get a word in edgewise.



Mr Heatherton is boiling mad,



and he has implied that if he

doesn't get that copy within the week,



he will terminate his agreement

with our agency



and sign up with a more efficient one.



Am I getting through to you, Alva?



I'll go right to it, Mr Loew.



Judy, I'll be out

for the rest of the day.



- Hey! Do I get waited on today or what?

- Right away, sir. Right away.



And then he took me on

one of those horse and carriage rides.



And in the middle of it,

he asked me to marry him.



Fucking greasehole!



Are you all right, sir? Sure? Are you?



- Hello.

- Dr Glaser?



You have reached the office

of Dr Dorothy Glaser.



Please leave your name...



- Hello?

- Jackie?



- Yeah?

- Jackie, don't hang up, please.



This is Peter.

I want to explain about the other day.



Hoeoe was a oeasoh



I had a very good reason

for doing what I did.



I... Look, you know

I'm very fond of you.



I didn't mean to hurt you. It was...



It was some illness. I feel funny

talking on the phone about this.



- Better be a hell of a good reason.

- Let's meet. Can you?



Tonight? You wanna get together tonight?

Meet somewhere?



- I can't for a couple of hours.

- Fine. Fine.



Let's just say nine o'clock.

Mondo Cane.



- All right. Nine o'clock.

- Great. Great. OK.



I'll see you then. Bye-bye.



Who's there?



Who is it?



He is wondering,

"How did she get in here?"



And he is realising that he let her in,

as she is his lover.



His most passionate mistress.



And he is realising



that she is a jealous mistress.






Alva... Alva?


















Alva! Alva!



There you are!



I'm looking for it, Mr Loew.

I'm looking.



What the hell is he doing in here?



I have a gun. If you hurt me,

I'm gonna use it.



What the fuck is going on?



I don't know... I'm doing all I can.



M ayboe t hoe coht act was ost



Don't come near me.



I'm telling Mr Langdon about this.



And I swear I'm gonna use my gun

if you ever touch me.



- Just once.

- No, no, Alva. I'm sorry.



I didn't mean... I'm sorry.



You all right, honey?






Nothing like a little office trauma

to keep things interesting.



The chase was my favourite part.



Pete hurdling over those desk s.



You weren't there

for the grand finale.



She asked me for a raise.

Can you believe it?



She actually does keep a gun

in that little bag.



She takes the subway into Pelham

every night. I don't blame the kid.



She asked me for a raise

for getting chased into the ladies room.



I think she deserves it.

Take it out of Attila's pay-cheque.



Fuck you.



One question, Peter.



Is my name written anywhere

on the bathroom wall and...



...what did it say?



What is happening to me?






...had a difficult day yesterday.



Got a little upset... at the office.



Do you want to talk about it?



It's just there's this contract

we're trying to locate.






If a company...



If a literary agency makes a copy



of every contract...



of every single contract

it makes with a client



and then puts it in a file,



in the appropriate file...



shouldn't the copy be in that file?



- Yes, I suppose it should.

- It should. Right?



- Yes.

- Right?






Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.



Unless it's somehow been misfiled.



- Misfiled?

- Yes, misfiled.



Sometimes somebody

puts a document in the wrong file



and then it's misfiled.

It makes it much harder to find.



Who? Who? What do you mean? Who?



- I don't know who exactly.

- You don't?



No, I don't.



Whoever filed it in the first place, but...



...I am not telling you

anything you don't already know.



How could somebody misfile something?



What could be easier?

It's all alphabetical.



You just put it in the right file.



According to alphabetical order.



You know, A, B, C, D, E, F, G...



- Peter.

... H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...



- Peter!

... Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z!



Huh? That's all you have to do.



Very good. You know your alphabet.



I never misfiled anything.

Not once. Not one time!



I'm sure that you didn't.



Wahha khow w ho od od?



I cannot possibly tell you that.



- You can't?

- No, I can't.



Hah! And you call yourself

a psychiatrist?



It's kind of bright in here, isn't it?



He is so eccentric.



Yes, Mr Loew?



Actually, she's just leaving,

Mr Loew. Sure.



Alva. Mr Loew would like to see you.



Come in, Alva.



I hope you're not still angry at me

about the other day.



I apologised, and I honestly meant it.






Yeah. That mescaline. Wow.



That's strange stuff.



I'll never do that again. Jeez.



- Yeah, I know. I did it once.

- Did you? Did you?



- Yeah, just once in high school.

- Ah.



High school. Yes, yes.



Those were the days, eh, Alva?



So... Why...?

Why do you have your coat on?



Well, I'm leaving. It's five o'clock.



But you still haven't found

that contract yet, have you?



There are    De Spiege files.

It's all I do all day. I mean...



But you haven't found it yet, Alva.



Don't you think it would be

a good idea to stay late?



- Maybe work a little overtime?

- My eyes are killing me.






I was thinking today



that maybe you could put

somebody else on the job for a while.



Or another secretary to help me out.



I mean, you know,

to make the job easier.






There is no one else

in this entire office



that I could possibly ask

to share such a horrible job.



You're the lowest

on the totem pole here, Alva.



The lowest. Do you realise that?



Every other secretary has been here

longer than you, Alva. Every one.



Even if there was someone here



who was here just one day

longer than you,



I wouldn't ask that person

to partake in such a miserable job



as long as you were around.



That's right, Alva.

It's a horrible, horrible job.



Sifting through old contract

after old contract.



I couldn't think of a more

horrible job if I wanted to.



And you have to do it. You have to.



Or I'll fire you.

Do you understand?



Do you?









Then there's no problem, then.

Is there?



Don't you wanna use your gun, Alva?



Hey. Here you go.



Hey, man, you forgot your food.



I hate interrupted love affairs.



How much nicer when the outside world



doesn't interfere with the pleasure.



You were so right to put yourself

into my hands, Peter.



The only one who can put you

out of your misery.



Tell me how much

you love me, my angel.



Whisper it to me. Just once.






Just once. Oh, just once.



I know you do.

I can read your mind, my love.



I can see it in your actions.



You can't get through the day

without thinking about me, can you?



Tell me you love me.



- Tell me.

- Yes. Yes.



- Tell me how much you love me.

- Yes.



Tell me.



I love you.



I love you.



I love you.



That was so clever of you. "Mescaline"?



How did you ever think of that?



Oh, but why should I be so surprised?



My little literary genius.



I knew you could keep

our passion a secret.



Sweet dreams, my angel.



Huh? What's that?



Wanna join me? Well, absolutely, love.



Watch your step.



Come on, now. Don't do that.

I have to go to work.



Stop it now. Come on!



Thank God it's Friday,

that's all I've got to say.



All I'm gonna do this weekend

is stay home and sleep.



This place is driving me crazy.



- Morning, everyone.

- Good morning.



I wonder what Alva's doing today.



- Yes, Mr Loew?

- Would you send Alva in here?



- She called in sick today, Mr Loew.

- Did she?



She said she had a very bad cold.



- A bad cold. Thank s, Judy.

- Mm-hm.



A bad cold.



My, my, my.



I'm not going to work today, Mummy!

My boss is a bastard



Don't use that kind of language

in front of me.



Well, it's true. I hate him.



Yes. "I hate him. " "I hate him. "



What do you think?

That's an excuse not to go to work?



You know how many people

hate their boss?



I hate my boss,

but do I stay home and cry about it?



- I know, Mummy, but...

- Listen, young lady.



You can't afford to lose that job.



You'll get no more money

from your father and me.



- I'll just get another job.

- I'm late.



Now, get dressed

and get your little ass into the city.







What are you doing here?



What, Alva? I can hardly hear you

through this window.



- What are you doing here?

- I heard you were sick.



A terrible cold.



- I'm calling the police.

- The police?



Alva, I'm here to call a truce, man. Look...



I just took a   -dollar taxi ride

so I could tell you



I think it was wrong

the way I treated you yesterday.



Is that an elaborate gesture or what?



Plus, look. Soup.






I stayed till one in the morning,

and I still couldn't find the contract.



Alva, don't worry about it.

It's understandable.



I know how worried you were

about losing Mr Heatherton as a client.



Alva, right now

what's most important is your health.



Well, I'm... You see,

I'm not really sick, Mr Loew.



I was just afraid to go back

to the office without the contract.



Alva, I had a feeling

that was the case.



And that's why I came

all the way up here.



- It's my fault you feel that way.

- Oh, no, no, no.



I know you're trying to run

an efficient office.



That may be,

but some things just take time.



Hey, Alva. The way I feel is,

the hell with Frank Heatherton.



If he wants to go to another agency, fine.

So, what do you say?



Do you wanna come to work?



Door to door service, madam. On me.






OK. Truce.



Just give me a few minutes.

I'll be right back.



It's horrible when there are tensions

between employer and employee.



Sometimes the pressures,

you know, they just build up.



Wait till you get into

a position of authority.



Yeah... Well, I mean, if I ever do.



You will, Alva.

You're a very bright girl.



That's how I know that today, by God,



is the day you're gonna find

that damned Heatherton contract.



I... I thought you said

that you didn't care



if Mr Heatherton left the agency.



I thought you said

that everything took time.



That doesn't mean

we're gonna stop trying to do



the best damn job we can.



The work's not just gonna go away, Alva



It never just goes away.



That goddam contract is somewhere

in those goddam fucking files!



- Are you all right, Mr Loew?

- Shut up, bitch.



Mr Loew...



I was supposed to give some money

to my brother



and he works in

that gas station over there.



- Is it OK if we stop for a second?

- Yes. Go.






- Hey.

- Come to the back.



Hey. Don't take it so hard, sis.



If you got the time to lean,

you got the time to clean.



Old man Randolph.

He throws fits all the time.



Listen to me, OK? This guy is very weird.

I'm telling you.



You all right?



That's my baby.



Your... wife?



   years. Keeps me going.



There is work and there is love.

I'm right?



You are married man?






Remember this?

I want you to give me bullets for it.



Put that away. Are you crazy?



No. You gave it to me.

What good is it if I can't use it?



What's good is it'll scare the shit

out of any motherfucker



comes close enough to spit on you.



You ain't even supposed

to be carrying this thing around.



Please? I'm asking you, Emilio.



Where is that little cunt?






Randolph don't even

keep real bullets in his gun.



No? What about the robbery?



- When those pigs came here to rob?

- He scared them off with blank s.



- All he has here is blank s, Alva.

- OK, then give me the fucking blank s.






  .   only.



Fucking clean me right out!



Crazy Jews...



I just shelled out almost    buck s

to get you back here, Alva.



You better hope

you make it worth it to me.



Oh, Christ. Oh, Christ. Where am I?



Where am I? Oh, Christ!

Where am I?



I've become one. A vampire. Oh, god!



Oh, God, where am I?



You're in the crapper,

Loew, and I'm taking a dump.



So leave the acting lessons for home

or go back to the ladies room.



Arthur Hesse on O  Mr Loew.



Tell him I'm out. Tell anyone who calls

I'm out. I'm in a meeting.



- Are you all right, Mr Loew?

- Tell him I'm in a meeting.



It's impossible.



It can't be.



It's impossible. It can't be.



Mr Loew? I found the contract.



Mr Loew, I found it!



Mr Loew?



Mr Loew? I found the contract.



I never found the right woman, that's all.

I never found the right woman.



There's work

and there's love. I'm right?



Mr Loew?



I found the contract.



Mr, I finally found...



Well... it's just



too late, Alva.



- But why is it too late?

- It's too late, Alva.



- It's not too late.

- Too late. Too late.



- It's not too late.

- Too late. Too late.



- Stay away!

- Too late. It's too late, Alva.



It's all too late, Alva. Come here.



- Come here, Alva.

- Stay away!



Stay away!



- Do it.

- I will.



- Do it.

- I swear to God I will.



Alva, do it or I'll fire you.




- Unemployment. Can you live with that?

- Oh, please...



- Do it, goddammit!

- Please, don't rape me.



Rape you? I will. Come on, Alva






Not the floor, Alva. Me!



Stay away!



Me. Me!



Damn it. Help me. Help me!



Shoot me. Me. Me!



- You're fired!

- God!






You're with me now, angel.






Hey. I'm a vampire.



A real vampire.



I'm a vampire!

I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire!



I'm a vampire!

I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire!



I'm hungry.



Well, well.



You're with me now.



You're completely with me.



You're like me now, my angel.



You know what you have to do.




What's the matter with you?



Come on, now.

Breakfast is on the table.



Leave me alone.









Don't know.

She don't want to get out of bed.



She's tired, I guess.



- Did she go out last night?

- I don't know.



She didn't get in that late.

She went right into her room.






Alvy, are you awake?






You all right?



Go away.



Yeah, well, I'll be at the station today,

you want to talk.



Yeah, well I'll see you.



Fucking bastards!



We just got these in.



Now, these are fibreglass.

Very lifelike.



See the way they colour them?



Just a little touch of yellow,

so they blend in better.



- How much?

- Those are   .  .



What's the matter?



Do you have anything for less?



Oh, sure.



I got some cheapie plastic ones.

They're only  .  .






- I will take the plastic.

- OK.



- Hello?

- Hello, Dr Glaser?



This is Peter Loew. Peter Loew.



Yes, Peter, how are you?



I wonder if I could make

my next appointment with you sooner.



I'd really like to make it sooner.



Well, let's see...



My next appointment with you

is Tuesday afternoon, right?



I'd like to make it sooner.



I'm open on Tuesday morning.

How's that?






Uh-huh. Peter, do you have a cold?



- A cold. Yeah.

- OK.



Look. I could squeeze you in on

Monday afternoon. Can you make that?



Oh, sooner...



- Peter, is it something very urgent?

- Very urgent, yes.



- All right.

- Hurry up, honey.



I'll tell you what.



Why don't you come in on Monday morning

and I'll come in early?



 .   all right?



 .  .



- Monday morning.

- That's right.



 .   Monday morning.



I'm sorry.



Very anti-social, Peter.



Extremely anti-social behaviour.



My, my goood hoess



However are you going to continue this way?






Are you actually going to

go through with this every night?



I can do it.



I know I can do it now.



I'm like you. Remember?



Peter. You are so pathetic.






I love you.



I like you.



You disgust me, Peter.



- You're with me.

- Don't touch me.



- You are with me.

- Well, it doesn't look like it.



Does it, Donald?






Doesn't appear that way, does it?



Doesn't appear that way at all.



I love you. You can't just walk away.



You don't know

what you're doing, damn it!



I said I love you.



Hey, buddy!



You don't remember me?

You don't remember me?



- Peter, right?

- Yes, right. Peter. Right!



- Well, how are you?

- How am I?



- Get off!

- Buddy, calm down!



Let go of me, you fuck!



- You see her teeth?

- Shut up.



- She's a goddam vampire!

- No!



You fucking cunt!



You're breaking up with me



after I sucked that broad bone-dry.



Look at her teeth, all of you.

She's a goddam vampire!



She made me one, too.

Look at her teeth.



Look at her teeth.

She's a goddam vampire!



She made me one, too!



Stay out.



You see, I know I am. I'm a vampire.



I can prove it.

You got a gun? You got a gun?



Get the fuck off me!



No! Don't... Please.



Better get back in your coffin, buddy.



The sun's almost up.



You're just a high school cunt.



I don't believe I really loved her,

but she's a cunt, a high school...



No! No sun.






This is the end.



I can't take it any more!



Go ahead. Kill me!



Hey, what's doing?






What's wrong?



Oh, God...



Hey, hey.



Hey, now. Hey, hey.



What's the matter, baby? Huh?



What's the matter?



Tell me. Tell me.



Tell me what happened.



My girlfriend broke up with me.



I'm a vampire. Kill me. Kill me.



Your rosary beads... Take them out

and put the cross up to me like this.



- I no speak the English.

- The cross. The crucifix.



Me vampire!



Vampire, you idiot. Nosferatu.






The tortures of the damned!



Get the hell out of my way!



Are you crazy?



All right. Just tell me

when you see him.



Sorry, I forgot. Where did we leave off?



Well, Peter, you wanted to make

an earlier appointment,



so what's up?



I've been thinking about

my depressions very seriously,



and frankly I just don't think

you can help me.



I think your profession

is entirely bogus. Entirely.



From my point of view, that is.



You really think so?



Yes, I do. I've been spending

a lot of money here



and I just think

it's time for a change.



A change? What exactly

did you have in mind for yourself?



- Don't laugh.

- I'm a professional. I don't laugh.



- Um... love.

- Love?



Yes, baby, real love.



The sweep-me-off-my-feet.



The big L.






No, I'm not talking about

fairy-tale love.



I'm talking about

a mature relationship.



What do you think, I'm a kid?



I know what you're thinking.



You're thinking, "Let's see him go out

in the jungle and try to find love. "



"He'll come crawling back here

in no time. "



I know it isn't easy,

but I know it's possible.



Hell, I see it around me every day.



Do you know how horrible it is

to see it around you every day?



Do you know

what kind of torture that is?



I'll find it, goddammit.



I'll find it for myself,



and then I'll be happy.

Holy shit, then I'll be happy.



You said you wouldn't laugh.



I am...



It... I'm sorry.



I'm only laugh... laughing because...



If you had told me,

if you had just told the good doctor,



the time you could have saved.



The money the both of you

could have saved.



Both of us? Both of us?



What do you mean the both of us?



You and Sharon.



- Sharon?

- Yes.



The patient who comes in after you.



She complains of exactly

the same thing you do and...



...personality-wise, I think

you two are made for each other.



- Really?

- Oh!



I should have matched you two up

long ago.



Hey, I think she's here now.



I'll just go and check.






What a beautiful name.



It's incredible.



It's really incredible.



Sharon. This is Peter Loew.



- Hi.

- Hi.



I like poetry, horseback-riding,



Vivaldi and long weekends

in the country.



Those are exactly the same things

that I like.



Wait a minute.



"We walked along,

While bright and red



Uprose the rising sun"



- Wordsworth.

- Incredible.






I guess you two

won't be needing me any more.



I guess not. Thank you, Dr Glaser.

This one's going to last. I can tell.



- It was written in the stars.

- Written in the stars, yes.



- Do you like Japanese food?

- It's the best. So refreshing.



Did you see that?

We're on exactly the same wavelength.






So long, Dr Glaser.



Oh, I almost forgot.



Yes, Peter?



Well, I did rape someone

a couple of nights ago.



A girl at the office.

I just lost control.



It's just a little id release.

No use to worry.






I just thought I should tell you, OK?



It's a load off my mind.



Oh, yeah...



Also, I...



Just spit it out, Peter.



Well, the fact is

I did murder someone last night.



I turned into a vampire.

It's a long story.






Peter, people get murdered every day.

Do you think the world is going to stop?



I guess, but the police and everything.

What if they find me?



Would you stop worrying

and just get on with your big romance.



He hasn't even been arrested

and the big lug is carrying on.



Get out of here, the both of you.

Have a wonderful life together



and I will take care of the cops.



Get out, both of you.

Out, out, out. Shh! Shh!



Thank you very much, Dr Glaser.



You are a gem.



Come on, Sharon.



Do you like that tune? Yeah.



Actually, I live up right around here.



Do you wanna come up?

You can join me. OK.



Well, I was born in Philadelphia,



but I've been a New Yorker now

for going on ten years.



And what about you?



Ah, nice.



I hear it's very beautiful country

up there.



What? This?



It's like I started saying before,

I turned into a vampire last week.



It's all in the past, though.

You OK? You know...



There he is.



I don't wanna talk about it any more.



It's all from

a very unhappy period in my life



and I don't wanna talk about it.



End of subject, OK?






Goddammit, what did I just say?



You don't let up, do you, cunt?



You just keep harping and harping

over the same goddam thing.



"Why did you become a vampire?"



"Why couldn't you be normal?"



"Peter, does this mean

we can never have children?"



...'cause there's no way in hell



that I would ever, ever marry



a loud-mouth pig like you.



In the ten minutes I'm with you

and the shit just starts right up.



What? What?



You hate my guts?



You wanna go home?

You wanna leave? Good. Fine.



Get the hell out of here,

you fucking pig!



Leave me the fuck alone!



I really can't handle

these relationships.



Maybe I should see a shrink.



Get up.



Get up, motherfucker!



Dream of me, my angel.



Dream of me.



Dream of me, my angel.



Dream of me.


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