Vampires Script - The Dialogue

Ta da! The Vampires transcript is here for all you fans of John Carpenter movies. The entire dialogue script, all the quotes, the whole shebang. I know, I know, I still need to get the character names in there...I'm workin' on it, trust me. If you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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How`s it look?
Like another New Mexican shithole.
A perfect spot for a nest.
Let`s hit it.
All right. Gio.
- Everything set? - Ready, boss.
We think we`ve got a nest inside.
Figure on at least six goons, maybe more.
Chances are we`ll find a master.
Rule number 5: If you find the nest, you find the master.
He won`t leave it on its own.
lt is strictly by the book today. Questions?
Let`s get to work.
- l`ll do it, boss. - My turn.
Easy with that door. Slow and easy.
Sorry, boss.
- What was that? - l don`t know.
Wake you up, Montoya?
Relax. Dead body. Bled out and cold. Been here a while.
Dead body. Bled out and cold.
Suck it up.
- Get her off! - Hold your fire!
Now fire!
- What? - l don`t know. Hang on.
What`s going on in there?
Deyo, don`t leave me hanging. What`s going on?
We got a live one. Female goon.
We`ll save her for you.
Open wide.
Stick her!
Take her!
- We got a fish! Go! - Go for Montoya.
We`re losing him!
- Catlin! - Safety on.
- Got it? - Clear!
Oh, Lord.
Come on. Right here.
Fucking die! Die!
Not only ugIy, he smeIls bad.
Give me the radio.
- Everybody okay? - Yeah, boss.
We`ve got another one. He`s dead. Send in the cable. We`ll hook him up.
Give me a minute.
May her souI and all the souls of the faithful departed...
with the mercy of God rest in peace.
Nothing like a littIe head, eh, Padre?
Okay, boys, time to mop it up.
Deyo, Ortega, Bambi, upstairs.
Catlin, Anthony and Davis, basement.
Enjoy the barbecue, baby.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...
Goons, man! That`s not a bad day`s work.
- That`s my lucky number. - You`re the man.
What is it, Jack? ls something wrong?
Yeah. Where was the master?
- Want us to check the house again? - He`s not there.
Do you suppose there`s another nest somewhere?
Sure as hell better not be.
All right, let`s get out of here.
Thank you for your help.
l`ve spent the last two weeks running whores and buying liquor for this bunch.
- When the hell they gonna leave? - We`re clearing out tomorrow.
l can`t say l`m sorry to hear it.
You get that package from us?
- Yeah, l got it. - Good. Then you`re happy.
You all work together?
That`s right.
What do you do?
We kill vampires.
l briefed Rome. They`re wiring a payment to the Monterey account.
Cardinal Alba is flying into Santa Fe. He wants to meet with you tomorrow.
- Tomorrow`s my day off. - Jack, not anymore.
Listen, what do you figure happened to the master?
l don`t know.
The master won`t usually leave a nest filled with goons.
What says he`s still in New Mexico? He could be anywhere by now.
Why would he run? lt`s not like he knew we were coming.
Really, what do you guys do?
l`m not kidding. We kill vampires.
Catlin, teIl the lady what we do for a living.
Kill vampires. Hunt them down, kick the shit out of them.
l know how you feel, baby. Nobody believes in vampires.
The thing is, we know vampires are stalking the earth.
We also know there`s a God.
We just don`t understand Him.
Nice party.
You`ve got something other than me on your mind.
Feel like telling me about it?
l was looking for something today. l didn`t find it.
That can be a real pain in the ass.
Maybe you should try looking somewhere else.
l can tell you where you might want to start.
You`re right.
l should`ve been looking in a whole different place.
Why don`t you get me something to drink...
and we can meet back in your room.
That`s the first good idea l`ve heard today.
Deyo, give me a couple beers.
You are magnificent! Have l ever told you that?
- You better slow down, Padre. - No, no. l`m not drunk.
Really? Are you on acid?
Doesn`t it feel beautiful?
Something you`ll never forget.
l know l won`t.
l think we`re out of beer.
l think we ought to knock over a liquor store.
Why not? I don`t give a shit anymore.
l got beer.
l got beer in the other room.
Fucking people. l don`t know why l gotta take care of everybody.
And you. You don`t go anywhere.
l got pIans for you.
Jack Crow.
- Wait. The pickup. - Keys!
Come on! Come with me.
Did he bite you?
Wait. Wait. l can use you.
Come on!
Leave the bitch. She`s dead anyway.
Take her. I can use her. Go!
Step on it, goddamn it!
- Hit it! - l`m going!
- He`s right behind us! - Come on, go!
Shoot him!
You okay?
Can you walk?
You alive? Come on.
- What are you doing? - She`s going with us.
- He just bit her. - She hasn`t turned yet. Come on.
She`s on her way.
lt`s under 48 hours. The teIepathic link with the master won`t hold.
So what? After that she`s going to start receiving his thoughts.
- Seeing what he sees. - Exactly.
Like a surveillance camera, so we can find him and shove a stake up his ass!
l`m gonna use this piece of shit to get to the master and to who tipped him off.
We were set up. He knew my fucking name.
- Who the fuck set us up? - l don`t know.
But l want the son of a bitch. Can you walk?
Wake up! Can you waIk? Are you with me?
Come on !
Do you hear me? Well?
Fuck, yes. This ain`t my first time to dance. Let`s go.
Hey, cowboy.
- Can l help you? - Yeah. l`m gonna borrow your car.
- Just say, ""Help yourself.`` - Say what?
Shut up or l`ll blow your teeth out the back of your head! Back off!
Help yourself.
Much obliged, partner.
Get in !
Take her to Apache Springs, Plaza HoteI.
Hole up there. l`ll find you as soon as l can.
Dump this thing and take the jeep.
- You can`t bury them all. - Get going.
l need to talk to you.
We`re wasting time.
Rule number 7: Never bury a team member by yourself.
-This comes under special circumstances. -The whole team`s been slaughtered!
- l can handle it! - Bullshit! You know better!
Got any ideas?
Yeah. Kill the whore, bury the team together and head back to Monterey.
- lf you want to pull out, go ahead. - l didn`t say that.
Somebody`s changed the rules. We gotta do whatever it takes.
Less than 11 hours until the sun goes down.
If you`ve got something else to say, spit it out!
Yeah, l`ve got something else to say. Don`t take too fucking long!
l get nervous when you`re not around.
l need a room.
- For how long? - A few days.
lt`s $375 a week...
plus $25 for your cable TV.
What`s the fucking total?
lt`s $400. ls that your girIfriend?
No, it`s my fucking mother. Give me the key.
Come on. Take my arm.
Wake up, will you? Let`s go.
Jack Crow. Cerritos and 14th in Santa Fe.
Need immediate pickup.
None of them.
l`m alone.
Sources close to fhe investigation report all bodies were decapifated.
The remains of the heads...
were found buried a mile away from the murder scene.
The number of confirmed dead now stands af 19...
with police still combing the ruins of the motel.
We`ll be standing by all day to bring you any further updafes.
Forget it.
Ah, Jack.
Come. Please sit down.
Who`s this?
This is Father Adam Guiteau.
Father Adam is in charge of our archives.
A bookworm.
He`s compIetely familiar with all your activities, so speak freeIy.
Tell me what happened.
We cleaned out the nest near Fort Union.
That night, a master showed up. No master was ever like this.
Superhuman strength, unkillable, like a machine.
We didn`t stand a chance. So tell me if l`m wrong, Cardinal.
Couldn`t he be the one we talked about, the one we knew would come one day?
There are some other developments.
Sad developments.
Our Tom Callahan is dead.
The whole European team is wiped out.
- When? - Three days ago.
Callahan`s team was clearing a large nest near Cologne, Germany.
Local authorities reported it as a terrorist act.
We found this there.
ls he the one?
- What is this? - Celebratum.
lt`s medievaI Latin for ""celebrate.`` Celebrate this--
CeIebrate what?
We don`t know.
l`ve authenticated the portrait. lt was painted in 1340.
The subject`s name is, was, Jan Valek.
Born in Prague, 1311. He was a priest...
who turned against the church and led the Bohemian peasants in an uprising...
actually capturing severaI small towns.
Valek was captured, tried for heresy and burned at the stake.
But after his death there were reports that he was seen walking at night.
lt was said he killed the living to drink their blood.
They opened his grave, and it was found empty.
lt`s the first known case of vampirism.
A priest.
Valek is not like the other masters you have hunted before.
He`s the first and most powerful.
Of our slayers, you are the only one...
who faced Valek and survived.
l`m going back out. You mind if l hang on to this?
l`ve been in contact with Rome.
The Vatican Council requests that you rebuild your team.
- There isn`t time. - You are to return to Monterey.
Recruit new team members...
and try again when you are at full strength.
Father Adam will accompany you and take the place...
of poor Father Giovanni.
l don`t think so.
This is nonnegotiable.
Valek is the original, the source of the disease!
The first vampire created by the Catholic church !
- By accident. - Shut the fuck up!
This was your fight, Cardinal. Now it is mine.
lf you refuse to obey the rules, the operation will be cancelled...
the funding with drawn.
Do you have any idea how this Valek knows my name?
Stay close to him.
What`s your name?
Do you understand what`s happening?
Help me!
Don`t fuck with me, honey!
l`ll snap your neck like a twig.
Nod your head yes or no.
Do you understand what`s happened to you?
Do it!
All right.
l`m gonna explain it to you.
l`m going to take my hand off your mouth.
You scream--
Now, what`s your name?
Okay, Katrina, here`s the score.
l took off your clothes. l cleaned you up.
l tied you down. l also saved your ass.
You`ve been bitten by a vampire.
Do you remember the party at the motel?
Big guy, pointy teeth, really shitty breath?
Don`t worry, it`ll come back to you soon.
A master vampire has a telepathic link with his victims.
You`re gonna help us find him.
While he`s sleeping, we unleash on him.
You`re the bait, honey.
l know alI about you, Mr. Crow.
l know that your parents were bitten by vampires...
and you were raised by the Church, brought up to be its master slayer.
The truth is, l didn`t want to be forced on you like this.
l was supposed to take over for Father Giovanni when he retired.
l`ve always dreamed of this, ever since l first heard about the slayers.
l wanted to be part of the team, just do whatever l could.
For example, if you wanted to receive the Sacrament of Confession--
Fuck it!
Who set us up? Was it you?
l don`t know what you`re talking about!
lf you don`t think I`ll kill you `cause you`re a priest...
you are seriously misjudging the wrong motherfucker!
Go ahead and kill me!
l don`t know what you`re talking about!
l don`t.
We`ll see.
Where are we going?
You have to tell me what`s going on.
- Have you ever seen a vampire? - No.
First of alI, they`re not romantic.
lt`s not like they`re a bunch of fags hopping around in rented formal wear...
seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents.
Forget whatever you`ve seen in movies.
They don`t turn into bats. Crosses don`t work.
You want to try garlic? Stand with garlic around your neck...
one of these buggers will bend you over and take a walk...
up your strada chocolatta while he`s sucking blood from your neck, all right?
And they don`t sleep in coffins lined in taffeta.
You want to kill one, you drive a wooden stake right through his heart.
Sunlight turns them into crispy critters.
Got it?
See this map?
This map shows all the encounters in the United States...
as far back as the 1800s.
- l`ve never seen this. - No one has outside the team.
Look at the southwest. See the spiral pattern?
lf you time sequence all the encounters, you get a Iogarithmic pattern...
ever widening.
lt`s a search pattern, Padre. They`re looking for something.
Do you know what it is?
l heard stories when l was young.
Something about a black cross.
About vampires walking in the sunlight.
Padre, can l ask you something?
When l was kicking your ass back there, did that give you wood?
Did you get a mahogany from that? Tell the truth.
l`m just fucking with you. Forget about it.
Oh, Jesus.
What time is it?
You want one?
You`ve got to eat something.
l can`t.
I wouldn`t mind a cigarette, though.
We need to work on this.
The less you eat, the faster the virus moves through your bloodstream.
Yeah. That`s what l call it. Nobody knows what it really is.
Poison, Kool-Aid, whatever, it all does the same thing.
Turns you into a vampire.
What happened to the other girls at the party?
They didn`t make it.
l`m sorry.
You remember now?
Some. Why doesn`t anyone know?
Nobody wants to know.
That`s how vampires survive. They`re smart.
They keep their numbers low, live in small bands. The worId never catches on.
Will l end up being one?
l don`t know for sure. Probably.
Unless we find him before you turn.
Then maybe there`s a chance.
Look, here`s what we do know.
You`re connected to the master vampire now.
He`s a part of you, and this link will grow.
You`ll never be abIe to get him out of you, not while he exists.
Then l don`t want to live.
You may not.
Can l get dressed now?
Could you get me a towel or something?
lt`s not like l haven`t seen you naked.
Fuck it.
Easy. l`ll get you a towel. One towel coming right up.
l won`t peek.
Nice try. Leave the door open.
No way.
A little bit.
- What the fuck you doing? - Damn it! Let me go!
Look what you did!
You fucking bit me!
Are you nuts?
Where are you going?
You bite me, huh? Get up!
Fucking bite me!
Fucking bitch!
Goddamn it.
Fucking stupid whore.
Where are you?
l`m fine. Yeah, l`m fine.
Room 312.
l`m coming up. Stay put.
l`m Father Adam Guiteau. You`re Tony Montoya, l believe.
You look different than your picture.
l`m an archivist. l`ve studied the team extensively.
What`s this bruise on her jaw?
l had to hit her. She was trying to kill herself.
l had to pull her off the fire escape.
Then l fell through the window.
That`s all?
- Why`d you slug her? - l cut my arm on broken glass.
l was pissed. l don`t know. l fucking slugged her. Who cares?
This is our new padre. We`ve been ordered back to Monterey.
Rebuild the team. Start over.
- We`re going back to Monterey? - No.
Callahan`s whole team is gone. Slaughtered.
- lt`s just us now. - That`s right.
- Who is she? - Some hooker. Bitten by Valek.
Vampires are psychically linked to each other.
As soon as she hooks into Valek...
we go looking for him.
- We have orders to follow. - Fuck you, Padre.
Language! lf you`re not going to follow orders, l`ll call Cardinal Alba.
Excuse me. Language.
Let`s have a chat about language. See if this syntax works for you.
You don`t make a phone call, you don`t blow your nose...
you don`t wipe your ass unless l tell you, okay?
Show me.
Here we go.
Katrina, can you hear me?
- What is it? - There`s someone else now.
Someone you`re connected to in your mind. You know who l`m talking about?
What are you seeing?
l can`t.
Yes, you can. You`re here with us and you`re safe.
Where is he? What are you seeing?
lt`s dark.
Keep trying.
lt`s a map.
A circle on the map.
- We need a location. - l`m working on it.
- Before she loses him! - You want to switch places?
Just come on.
Katrina, listen carefully.
l need to know exactly where you are.
What you`re seeing right now. Details.
He killed the priest!
- All right, you`re safe. - A priest? What priest?
Moving now.
Stay with it.
There`s a sign.
On the highway. lt says San MigueI.
San Miguel? Come on, keep trying. You have to.
l can`t.
- Goddamn it! - The link`s broken.
What priest is she talking about? Goddamn it!
l can get a Iist of the churches in San Miguel if you let me use the phone.
Call every church. Find one where an old padre`s missing.
Road trip, Montoya. Your job is to watch this girl. Goddamn it!
What`s wrong with you?
l`m just tired, that`s all.
ls there something you want to tell me?
Nothing you`d want to listen to.
l got the fax this morning from the cardinal`s office in Santa Fe.
You`re an investigator working for the Catholic Church?
Right. We looking into a pattern of anti-Catholic hate crimes.
- May l? - lt`s pretty damn savage.
What about the old priest? Any of this blood his?
- His name is Father Molina. - Sorry.
You get something on this case, you`ll share it with me, right?
That`s right.
- l better not find out different. - You won`t.
So far it looks like all of this blood is from Mrs. Fisher.
We won`t know for sure until we get a sample through pathology.
Was anything stolen?
- Just Father Molina. - We found him.
l don`t gef this!
Why come to North Podunk and attack some old priest and a cleaning lady?
Does that make sense? Valek didn`t feed on them.
Father Molina was a well-known scholar of early Catholic history in the U.S.
- Who gives a shit? - l don`t know?
l don`t know why Valek killed him.
- What`s this symbol? - The church doesn`t know.
You and the cardinal are Iying sacks of shit.
Help me. The hour`s getting late.
lt`s a medieval astronomical sign...
for the sun.
There are seven more with him now.
- Powerful ! - Are they masters?
l`m beginning to like you, so don`t make me hurt you, okay?
Tell me what you know. l`ll buy you a beer and get you laid.
You don`t tell me, l`ll have to start cutting on you.
No, you won`t. You`re a righteous man.
Besides, l serve a higher master than you.
Any secrets l keep are kept to protect the church and its followers.
- Open your mouth. - What?
Open your mouth.
Give me your hand.
Listen to me, you fuck!
My father kept a secret once. He had been bitten by a vampire.
He kept it a secret from me and my mother.
By the fifth day, he was turning.
That night he attacked my mother.
And then he came after me.
l kiIled my own father, Padre.
l got no trouble killing you.
Last chance.
Now open your motherfucking mouth. Open your fucking mouth!
What? You ready? Excuse me. What?
Valek is looking for an ancient relic: the Cross of Berziers.
After his trial, fhe church declared Valek was possessed by demons.
He was taken to a small town in France called Berziers.
Exorcism was performed...
using an ancient, forbidden form of the ceremony.
lt was long, and very brutal. And then something went wrong.
A wooden gate is opening.
The accounts are confused, but they refer to an inverse exorcism.
The body is destroyed, but the possessed soul remains.
The exorcism transformed VaIek into a creature...
whose body is dead, but who lives on.
- A vampire. - Yeah, a vampire.
lt`s a cross.
The stories you heard abouf the black cross are true.
lf was used in Valek`s exorcism, then taken back to Rome.
lt`s known as the Berziers Cross.
The cross was shipped to the New World.
lt was moved from one Spanish mission to another.
lts exact Iocation was kept secret even from the Vatican.
For hundreds of years it was Iost.
Then Cardinal Alba discovered the name of the only living priest...
who knew the location of the cross.
Father Joseph Molina.
Cardinal Alba and l came to the United States to find Father Molina...
to reclaim the Berziers Cross, and that is all l know.
You`re a good man. Welcome to the team.
God forgive me.
He found it.
Let`s hit it.
Wait! Wait, stop the car.
That way.
lt was here.
Damn! You picking up anything?
He`s gone.
- You don`t look so good. - She hasn`t turned. She can`t eat.
Maybe she wants human blood.
- l said she hasn`t-- - l heard.
- Why don`t you back off? - What`s with you?
What`s with me? What`s with you? You`re being a fucking asshole!
What the fuck is your problem?
You`re not falling for this half-dead--
- Nice shot. Want to try again? - Stop it!
- Get the fuck outta here! - What are you doing?
- We`re about to have a good fight. - No!
Do you know why Valek wants the Berziers Cross? Think about it.
He wants to finish his transformation. The exorcism was never completed.
Valek was left vulnerable, able to survive only at night.
So if he completes the ritual--
l think the balance shifts.
For 600 years, Valek has wanted to find a way to live in the daylight.
Oh, fuck me.
Now with the Berziers Cross, he will.
A master vampire, able to walk in the sun, unstoppable...
unless we stop him.
We`ll have to finish this some other time.
- Yeah. - Eight hours of sun left. Come on.
Come on, baby.
That`s where he is.
The place looks empty.
He`s near.
What do you figure the population is? 20?
l`d say 30, maybe more.
Now the question is, how many of them are goons?
Worst-case scenario, half: 15 dead, 15 goons.
lf he took the town, Valek would had to have been here several days?
That`s right.
He set this up, slowly, one goon at a time.
Now he`s got the Cross, and the biggest nest of blood-drinkers ever known!
- What have we got? Three slayers. - Two slayers!
lt`s time to kill some vampires. You with us, Padre?
Yeah, l`m with you.
Get a location.
Where is he?
Katrina, baby, listen. ls he in there?
He`s in there.
ln the dark.
All right. Good girl.
- The best-constructed building in town? - The jail of course.
Bingo. She senses him in there.
- She telling the truth? - Yeah.
- Suppose he`s taken control, using her? - l guess l`ll pay with my life.
You`re not the only one, amigo.
You`re not the only one.
Can you hear me?
l`m sorry. lt`s going to be all right.
l`ll take care of you.
l promise.
Oh, she`s thirsty.
- She smells your blood. - Oh, God.
Padre, your neck! Cover your neck!
Take the woman!
Cocksucker! Come on !
Padre, kiIl it! Goddamn it!
Don`t just stare! Kill it!
With the stake! Kill him with the stake through the heart!
Yes! Yes!
How do you like your stake, bitch?
- There another way up from the cells? - Doesn`t Iook that way.
Coming out of the elevator makes it a straight shot to the door.
- That means using the cable. - We`ll attach the cable to the Jeep.
- Yank them into the sun fast. - Someone has to drive the jeep.
-How do you lure them into the elevator? -Someone has to be inside.
Escape hatch, huh? Yes.
When they get inside, one of us goes up through the hole.
The other guy presses the button. The doors shut, they`re trapped.
- lt has to be me. - What?
You have to be here to fire the crossbow.
You want to drive the jeep? l`ll do it.
l can`t drive. l never learned.
Okay. Lather up and shave your ass. You`re the bait. Let`s go.
Listen to me!
You`ve got to try to hold on. Okay?
- You seen VaIek? - Nothing yet.
- Anything? - There.
l`m ready.
You`ve got to be fleet of foot.
- l`m not kidding. - l know.
- l used to play soccer. - Soccer?
- l was captain of my team. - l`d better be the one--
- No, l`ll be fine. - You will?
Don`t worry about me. Just shoot when the door opens.
You can count on that.
- Padre? - l know.
- Montoya, he`s on his way down. - Hooked and ready, Jack.
What are you doing?
Get back in the fucking elevator!
Get ready, Montoya. Here we go.
Montoya, go! Die, you bloodsucker! PuIl !
Padre, you okay? He didn`t bite or scratch you?
Okay, come on.
No! Keep the door-- Shit!
- Sorry. - Monitors.
lt`s going all the way down.
Okay. l`m bringing it up.
- Sorry about the doors. - No harm, no foul.
- You did good. Running out of time. - l have to do it again, don`t l?
Why aren`t the doors opening? What`s wrong?
Jack! Look at this.
Montoya, go, go!
- Go! Goddamn it, go! - Come on !
- You never told me they could do that. - l didn`t know they could.
Get out of the way!
Come on, do it, you fucking bitch!
Hook it up! Padre, get a spike!
She`ll take you with her!
Come on !
Die, you fucker, die!
Look at the sun!
- We`re finished. - No, we gotta go back.
Rule number 10: You can`t kill a master at night.
lt`s over.
He`s right.
Let`s go.
Hello, Jack.
You motherfucker!
The war is over, crusader.
HeIlo, Jack.
From your expression...
I assume you couldn`t possibly understand my presence here.
l`m sorry to disillusion you.
As one grows old, as death approaches...
we begin to question our faith...
and l have found my lacking.
Is there a God? Is there a heaven?
l can no longer answer this for certain.
l`ve witnessed no miracles, had no visions...
and the prospect of death terrifies me.
l realized l`ve only one alternative.
And l made a bargain, with the devil, if you wish.
You are truly a pile of dogshit, Cardinal.
Yeah, that`s right.
That`s correct, Jack, and l can live with that.
After l`ve given Valek what he wants, he wiIl fulfill our bargain.
And l will be transformed into one of his new children.
lt`s beautiful, isn`t it?
Eternal life.
lmmortality can change your heart.
Why don`t you prove you can kick my ass? Come on. Untie me.
Come on, you fucking poIe-smoking fashion victim. Come over here.
Five minutes, then you can bite my ass. Would you Iike that? See me tied up?
What will silence you?
Come on, untie me, you prick.
Perhaps this will help.
Apparently your friend is one of my children now.
You are alone, crusader.
What do you want from me?
Oh, you hate me so, don`t you?
But you made me, crusader.
You hate what you`ve made, you fear it...
because it is superior to you.
For 600 years, l`ve fed on your kind at will.
- Why not kill me and get it over with? - Because you`re needed, Jack.
The ceremony is a reenactment of the original exorcism.
lt requires the blood of a crusader...
and his crucifixion upon a burning cross.
The climax of the ceremony must coincide...
with the first rays of the rising sun.
Sorry, Jack.
You motherf--
What will you do, Valek?
You`ve got nobody to compIete your ritual! The sun`s rising.
You will finish the ritual.
- Try and make me. - Attaboy. Fuck with him!
Looks like you`re shit out of luck. Give it up!
- Finish it. - No.
Come on, Padre! My nuts are on fire!
Come on. Let`s go kill some vampires.
End of the line.
You still with us, Crow?
l don`t burn so good these days, bloodsucker.
Give me the cross.
This cross? Let me just ask you one thing.
After 600 years, how`s that dick working? Pretty good?
Huh? Come on!
The cross!
Suck this!
Die, die, you fucker! Die!
You can`t kill me.
You ugIy blood-sucking fucker, die!
Listen. lt`s going to be okay.
l`lI be right back. Okay?
Put your head back.
You look like shit.
Where are you going?
You love her that much?
We make the perfect couple.
- You`re not leaving! - Padre.
Back off.
Don`t make me come over there and beat the shit out of you, Padre.
- Back off! - He`s a vampire, Jack!
Rule number 1: lf your partner is ever bitten by a vampire...
ever let him live.
l`m not a sIayer anymore.
Besides, the way l figure it...
the two of you got plenty to do cleaning the rest of them out.
Meanwhile, she hides in the van out of the sunlight while you go to the border.
Try to catch it by nightfall. Is that it?
l need a vacation.
When did she first bite you?
Two days ago.
l still covered your ass.
Yes, you did.
l owe you two days back.
- What would you say, Padre? - You`ve got two days.
Wherever you go...
l will find you.
l will hunt you down, and l will kill you.
The girl, too.
Vaya con Dios, my friend.
Vaya con Dios, slayer.
Time to slay some vampires, Padre.
- You up for it? - l guess so.
- lt`s just the two of us. - No, Mr. Crow.
He was always with us.
Fair enough.
Let me ask you a question.
When you were stabbing that vampire, did you get a little wood?
- Mahogany. - Excuse me?
Ebony. Teak!
Are you possessed by demons?
- A major chubby. - Language, Padre.

Donated by SergeiK