Voila! Finally, the Vernon Florida
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Errol Morris movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Vernon Florida. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
You mean, this is the real world?
I never thought of that.
My mother and I,
we had a house in Chicago.
we'd get out of there, you know,
while the getting's good.
And so, then when I got to Vernon...
I called up these real estate people.
They sent me their phone number.
So then I see the picture.
The property was $ .
Of course, it was cheap.
They claim it was too much.
Well, it wasn't too good.
It wasn't a castle...
but it was a house. Five lots.
So, okay, bought it.
Had a mortgage for four years, paid off...
so I don't have to pay no rent, see?
You gotta like outdoor sports.
And I've always loved it.
Especially turkey hunting.
I killed my first turkey
when I was years old.
I can't tell you how many I've killed,
but I've killed a lot of them.
I run a business. I close
the business down if I have to...
to go turkey hunting.
It's just something that I like.
It's just in me.
I can't tell you how I feel.
It's just a hell of a sport, that's all.
Sometimes you can be standing
around and hear one jar the ground.
And you just look at
the roads and fire trails...
untiI you pick up fresh tracks
and know which way he's going.
And just go to that area, stop, listen...
and hope that you hear one.
Sometimes they gobble quite often, early.
Sometimes it's minutes.
And later on in the morning,
sometimes it's every minutes.
You just can't tell.
They're a smart bird.
The smartest we got in this country.
See now, we spend time like this
day in and day out...
and not hear nothing.
But you know they're here.
I sent them two checks.
One check for $
a three-year membership...
and $ insurance.
So I waited. I don't know,
I waited a month or longer...
and I didn't get no answer from them.
So then I had this lady copy
the checks, you know, on the copier?
So then I sent the copies to them,
and now they sent me the jeweI, see?
I don't know if the jewel
is genuine or not. Take a look.
I don't know what I'm looking for.
I don't know.
What does a jeweler look for?
You know, those guys,
when you go into a jewelry store?
If you want something examined,
they look through a lens.
What are they looking for?
You ask them, they'd go...
You ever seen a man's brains?
I've seen them.
I've picked them up, scooped them up.
Put them in, do them up like brains.
You buying brains?
But there's a ball right here,
and there's a ball here.
A ball here and a ball there.
Now, they're connected to the spine,
the spine goes down the backbone.
And if all four...
of these balls or brains is functioning...
you're not a one-track mind.
You're a four-track mind.
And you can...
I've seen a lot of folks.
They can type one letter...
Write me a letter and you a letter
on a typing machine.
And write one way with this hand...
write your letter with this hand,
and my letter with that one.
And I can take a penciI
and sit down and write...
"cat shit" with this hand
and "dog shit" with that one.
Both at the same time.
I've done that lots of times.
Now, what I was telllng you...
if I can't stand up...
I don't believe,
without propping against something.
It gets me out of balance.
There you go. You run one...
Now, if you ain't got that...
and I've often, all over this town,
time and again...
pointed out to anybody that would listen.
If you run that foot in a circle this way,
and then your hand that way...
then just pick up your pistol
and keep wiggling your arm...
and singing a song.
in other words, that's five things.
That's five things I can do on this.
On one, with this old knot up here.
Vernon- to ControI.
Quincy, can you give me
the correct - ?
By my watch it's getting to .: .
That's a big - . Appreciate it.
We don't have too much traffic
coming through now.
Sit here, watch them come shooting
off the end of that bridge a little bit.
About the only thing I do
this time of day...
sit around and wait.
You have to do this in a hurry...
because you have to cover
several places at one time.
Not at one time, but...
as quick as you can,
because theygobblE better...
earlier part of the morning.
The later in the morning it gets,
the less theygobblE.
So you usually kill by...
: : at the latest.
There's been a lot killed after that.
That's the cream of the hunt.
From daylight to : : .
He's looking for a fresh track now...
and if he finds a fresh track, he'll stop,
listen, and go in on it.
That's what he's doing.
Walking and listening, right now.
Looking for a fresh sign
he's crossed the graded road.
Where there's smoke,
there's fire, you know.
You find a fresh track,
you know there's agobblEr there...
'cause this is a prime area for turkey.
Look how that's bogged down there.
Bogged an inch deep there in that dirt.
He weigh pounds.
Look at the size of the track.
Look how he's bogging up that hard dirt.
He probably crossed
late yesterday afternoon...
and roosted right back down
here in these woods.
If he's got a hen with him, it's very
hard to call him away from that hen.
You can believe that.
Anybody that'll tell you they can...
call agobblEr away
from a pack of hens, just anytime...
Did you hear that?
Sounds almost like a turkey gobbling,
but it's not.
It's one of them
big woodpeckers pecking.
FooI you a lot of times.
Occasionally, you'll call a biggobblEr...
away from some hens...
but very seldom.
I'd rather not even try to call one away.
Well, you always try, but you can't do it.
I never have.
I have different areas
I like to sit around and wait.
I sit here a lot of times.
Since this car
was sitting around so much...
a lot of people, they don't know for sure...
if we have a police officer on duty here
I can sit here and catch a lot of them
as they come across the bridge...
or come down through town.
Like this tanker.
He sounds like he's getting on it now.
Try to hold them down.
I hate to have to get out
and chase every one of them down...
but I try to let them see me sitting here.
So then, if I have to write them up...
it's their own fault,
because they can see me sitting here.
I'm not trying to hide now.
But there is a few places I sit around
where you can hardly see me.
That's for my radar gun, when I have it.
I don't have it with me today.
I had to send it back in
and get it recertified.
So I'm waiting for it to get back here.
It should be in Friday or Saturday...
and then I can sit out here
and catch a bunch of them.
They said he was years old.
I don't know about that now.
That's a long life for a mule.
But he eventually died.
They rooted him over into that pond.
Just an old skeleton Iying there
with the hide all on him.
Just as tough as anything you ever seen.
And a big hole in his throat here...
where the buzzards and things
every bit of him as they could.
They couldn't eat him all.
I was a-fishing in there one day...
and dropped my bait down there
at that hole...
that old mule laying in there,
you know, all puffed up.
Dried up on the skeleton.
And there was a big warmouth perch
run out him up here and bit my hook.
Took it in, that old mule, that quick,
And he got off of there. Got loose.
I went to pull the hook out...
and I must have hung it
on one of his ribs in there.
I had to break it off.
But I put on another hook...
and dropped it down there
and I caught a big one.
The bones had come out of his legs,
the skin was laying there.
And it was tough as a bear.
I got over,
it was about this deep in the water.
I went down and then
got a hold of them legs...
and drug that old mule out on the hill.
There was warmouth in him,
I could hear them a-fluttering
just 'cause I run out on the hill with it.
The water run out of him.
I could hear them a-fluttering in there.
It was in planted pines.
But he'd roosted in a branch,
the other side of planted pines.
I eased into a row of planted pines,
They're not exactly
in a straight row like that.
They'll be, you know, offset.
So you got a variation
about foot, maybe.
And getting in planted pines,
I walked across the rows...
crossways to the rows,
till I got right even...
with where he was at in the swamp.
And I knew. I said, "Right yonder he's at. "
I walked crossways to the rows
till I got to that row.
I knew he was right at the end of it.
I was working my way in and out.
And I slipped up there.
I slipped up close enough to the branch.
I could see the turkey in a pine tree.
He was a-gobbling.
I got to that pine, and I looked.
It was about foot over there
to that other pine.
And it was about to foot more
to the turkey.
I looked at that turkey,
and I looked at that open spot.
I said, "There ain't no way
I can get no further. "
I just eased that gun up
reaI slow behind them pines.
And eased down.
there he is, right there. I think he's got
about an -inch beard.
He hit the ground.
It sounded like a ton of bricks.
Now, this here is a gopher.
He's not a turtle.
He's harmless. He won't bite you.
I don't know just how come
him to be way down in here.
He don't like this kind of land here.
It's a high, dry, sandy land for him.
And he'll dig his den to be as far as...
feet deep sometimes.
And he's good to eat, too.
I don't eat him, but people do eat him.
He's just a fine piece of meat
for the dining table.
I believe he wants to walk now.
His motor's slow-paced.
I said, "Y'all just leave my gun here.
I got to use the bathroom.
"You've got to come back this same way. "
And they said, "Yeah. All right. "
I got my gun.
I didn't get to use
the bathroom, though. I was fixing to...
but right out in them pines
I heard onegobblE.
And they'd done left.
And I said, "My God. "
Boy, that's the best diarrhea medicine
in the world.
You hear a turkeygobblE, you forget
all about diarrhea and everything.
That'd cure anything.
I grabbed my gun, and I tore out.
I must have went a quarter of a mile.
Went through a bunch of pines.
And he double-gobbled.
I knew right then that I had
a pretty good chance of killing him.
Man, it hadn't been minutes
since one had been killed.
Bless your heart. The next time
hegobblEd, there he was.
Right out there
in that wiregrass and broom-sage.
I just yelped reaI low to him.
He was coming straight towards me.
He wasn't walking. He wasn't running.
It was sort of in a little fast trot.
I had a good blind in some palmettos.
I was sitting behind some palmettos.
I done had my gun on him.
When he got up there...
he was walking a little too fast to shoot
him, 'cause I wanted a sure shot.
And what I done, I just whistled.
And he stopped, and he looked...
and when he looked up,
that was the end of it.
That's him right there in the middle.
With about an -inch beard.
Now, this opossum.
I didn't catch him myself.
Another fellow did.
He was eating his chickens.
He caught him,
and he brought him down here to me.
He said I was the only fellow
that knew what to do with an opossum.
I'm gonna keep him
for the fun day in Wausau...
and sell him to the fellows.
They auction them off over there
from $ to $ .
That's a great price for an opossum,
don't you know?
I'll put him back?
You've got to be carefuI
with one of them things.
They'll bite you.
I've been bit by them.
I've been bit by everything
there is in the country.
Wild game, you know.
Except a rattlesnake.
I was sure enough watching for him.
He just walked.
No rain in it. Got to looking.
And his track was in that track,
that trailer track...
We had just talked to the man
five minutes behind us.
The trailer made a track. We come out
the same way he come in.
And you know,
that's got to be a red-hot track...
'cause it's on top of that trailer track.
You understand what I'm saying?
We just talked to him behind us.
He's right out here.
Stepped outside, yelped one time,
and he come right back, gobbling.
We started grabbing guns
and getting into position.
And I told Snake. I says, "Snake...
not coming back across that road.
"There ain't no way he's coming back
across that road.
"He's going the other way. "
We'd sit there and we'd yelp to him.
He'd go over this way, and he'dgobblE.
Go back that away, and he'dgobblE.
He wanted us to come on.
But we wasn't going on.
We was expecting him to backtrack.
And I told Snake he wouldn't backtrack
and come back to us.
This went on for about half an hour.
I told Snake. I said, "I'm tired of this.
I'm gonna Kill that turkey. "
I yelped one time. And he double-gobbled.
And that's all I yelped.
And the next thing you know,
here he comes.
Just gobbling all the way.
I shot him and he hit the ground.
I mean he was doing a da-do,
bouncing around about foot high.
I run down there to pick him up,
and he got up.
He had a broken wing,
and I knocked him down.
I said, "God, he's fixing to get away. "
And I just tried to shoot his head.
I just shot a big old hole in the ground.
I missed his head, 'cause if I'd shot
the whole turkey, he'd be in pieces.
And I missed him. He got out. He was
going right down the pine run...
and I said, "Well, one more shot. "
And I shot him and just rolled him over.
And it was cloudy, like I said.
During all this time and around
in them pines, everything looks alike.
To me it does. Anybody else
that's ever been in there...
You can't... Excuse me.
You can't tell where you're at.
I got in there.
And when I Killed the turkey...
I didn't know where I was at, you know.
I walked around.
I got lost.
I was hollering for Snake.
I'd walk the direction I thought it was.
I was going in the right direction. But
in them pines, everything looks alike.
And I started hollering, "Snake,"
just as loud as I could.
And they know I was turned around.
And they sat up there
just laughing like the devil at me.
And they wouldn't answer me or nothing.
But anyway, I drug that one out
the next morning...
after them two mornings before.
There his beard is.
About the same length.
About an -inch beard.
The one on the far right here.
Thirty-five, years ago
there weren't no wigglers.
These wigglers is kind of a new thing
in this country.
These wigglers have been in here
about -something years.
These wigglers is a new thing
come in here.
I reckon they was here...
but I don't know
where they accumulated from.
I got the seed of these from
South Florida. That's where I got them.
This is not a regular wiggler...
Like everybody's got here.
This here is what they call
an orchard-worm wiggler.
That's the reason people come here
and wants to beat me out of them.
I don't know
where all this water comes from.
You must have a lot of ditches up there.
Of course, if you're taking
the history of Vernon...
well, I can't tell you.
All I can tell you about the river is...
somebody told me
that boats used to come down here.
And I says, "That river
must have been wider, you know. "
The creek they call it.
But they said no.
So, I mean, freight boats
used to come down here.
Justlike freight on the Mississippi River.
But I don't know.
I can't figure it out.
Maybe they used big canoes.
There's a big red wiggler.
There's a wiggler
that they call the eel worm.
And this orchard-worm wiggler.
Then they got a big ring-neck wiggler.
And then they got one
they call the night crawler.
He weighslike that.
I've got some of them
from up in Joplin, Missouri...
and brought them down here.
They up there.
I brought up down here and put them
in a little old bed I had yonder.
And they all left.
They crawI at night.
You can't keep them in a place.
They stay around in the edge
of the swamp.
Out there, there's a lot of muddy water.
That reminds me of the story
about the two sailors.
They were looking at the water
and one says:
"It's a lot of water out there. "
And the other guy says,
"Yeah, that's just the top of it. "
Hey, those snakes out here,
they can swim.
Be careful of that.
Those snakes can crawl over water
like they're crawling over the ground.
And some people, they says,
"You going swimming?"
You're swimming around,
and then you look up...
and you see this snake
coming towards you. Oh, brother!
See that jump?
You know what kind of fish that was?
That could have been a garfish.
Usually, the garfish, they feed on top...
and if there's little minnows on the top,
they snap them up.
You ever see a garfish?
He's got a blLI aboutlike that, his nose.
And when he...
He usually catches what he goes after.
I've never studied no book
on these wigglers.
What I know about them
is just self-experience.
They got books on them,
but them books is wrong.
They don't teach you right on them.
Teach you what kind of feed to feed them.
How to do them and all that.
And it's all wrong in my book.
Why he wanted to take his shoe off
to pull the trigger, I don't know.
The very next damn day,
after we was working...
And, he said, that day:
"That'll be the last thing I ever do,
is to shoot myself. "
Which it was.
none of his brains working. Period.
I tell you, he had two shells
laying under the slLI of the house.
He crawled under there and got them.
Come out and told his wife, says,
"I've got one for you, and one for me.
"We're going. "
She run him down
and took one of them away from him.
He sat down in an old,
homemade, straight chair...
and he pulled his shoe off...
and he set that gun barreI right there...
and pulled the trigger.
Pulled his shoe off to use his big toe to-
Yeah, but, hell, if I was gonna do that
I'd reach down there with my finger!
What? It'd have moved his head
from the gun barreI.
- No, it wouldn't have.
- He had to stoop over there...
He pulled his shoe off
in order to use his big toe to-
Everybody don't do things alike,
but that's the way he done it.
Knowing that the Lord
had called me to preach...
I had to pursue what the Lord
had placed me on this world to do.
So I started back into the ministry.
In this line of work, you don't have
the finances you'd like to have.
You see things that you'd like to have...
you sometimes wish you're back in a
secular position making better money.
But then I have a better situation
than most people realize.
When I have a need, I just pray for it.
Justlike the van that I have now.
I felt I had a need for it.
So I began to pray,
and then I began to go price vans.
But I didn't feel like my prayers
and the prices I found on the vans...
just coincided the way they ought to
'cause they were far out of my reach.
But stlLI, I feltlike if the Lord
wanted me to have a van, I'd get one.
So in the process, a couple of weeks
after I'd given up the idea...
of finding one that I could afford...
I ran into a man, and he had a van.
I was looking at it.
He gave me the price on it.
I told him, "That's out of my range. "
"I've got a friend over in Marianna...
"that has a brand-new ' van.
"It's been on his lot for eight months...
"and he's priced it down to $
where it can be bought. "
He said, "I know it can be bought
for $ ."
That's kind of the range I was looking for.
And sure enough, I called the man.
He brought it to me...
and in the process of three hours,
I owned the van.
God made all things...
that was made.
All things that was made.
And he looked on it, and pronounced it...
good and very good!
He made all these things
that we've got today.
And he said it was good and very good.
But you could
go to the extreme on anything.
Make a hog of yourself.
But as long as you let it golike God
intended it, you need never worry.
He'll give you power and strength
and wit to take care of the deaI.
There was a huge oak
right on the bank of the creek.
I went and stood under the oak
and I said:
"Lord, I don't know if you want me
to have this lot or not.
"But if you do, well, then you make it
possible for me to have it. "
So I went along for over a year.
And I didn't know
if the lot had sold or anything.
But a year later, I had as much money
as the man was asking for the lot.
I went to him to find out if
he stlLI had it. Sure enough, he did.
He said, "You know, it's really ironic.
I've had this thing sold three times.
"And every time that I've had it sold,
something's come up...
"and the party that was going to buy it
didn't go through with the deaI."
He says, "I hope yours goes through. "
I says, "It's gonna go through because
I know this is an answer to prayer. "
Sing the wondrous love of Jesus
Sing his mercy and his grace
In the mansions bright and blessed
He'll prepare for us a place
When we all get to heaven
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus
We'll sing and shout the victory!
I was reading Romans
not too awfully long ago.
And over and over, this word "therefore"...
which is the first word in our Scripture
this morning, began to pop out at me.
And I begin to think about it.
Because I remembered somewhere
back yonder when I was in school...
that an English teacher taught me
about the meaning of words.
And this word "therefore"
had a specific meaning.
And I think, well, if Paul
is using this word so many times...
there must be a reason for it.
I went to Webster's Dictionary...
and I began to look up what the word
"therefore" was all about.
And I found the word to be a conjunction.
Now, I had long forgotten
what a conjunction was.
And so, as soon as I realized
it was a conjunction...
I thumbed back through the dictionary
to the word "conjunction"...
to see what a conjunction was,
and Webster's Dictionary said...
that a conjunction
is an indeclinable word...
that connects two thoughts together.
And so I said, "What does this word
And so I looked up
the word "indeclinable"...
and found that it meant
that it was unchangeable.
And so I found out
that "therefore" was a conjunction...
that could not be changed
that connected two thoughts together.
And so, therefore,
whenever I found this out...
I looked at that word again in the
first verse of our Scripture, and I said:
"Paul must have said something
that this word is connecting together. "
So let's see what it was.
And when I began to look back,
I found out...
that Paul had used that word "therefore"...
many times in Romans before this,
and many times in Romans after this.
And so I really got interested,
so I looked in my concordance...
and I found out
that Paul used the word "therefore"...
over times in his writing.
And so, I think, well, if he used
the word "therefore" over times...
I need to find out
what the Greek says about it.
So I looked up
what the Greek meaning was...
and the Greek word was "on, "
which had a triple meaning.
The first one was "accordingly"...
the next one was "likewise then, "
and "then therefore. "
"Therefore you receive the peace. "
So if you're here this morning,
and you don't have that peace,
I'll tell you what's happened.
You have taken back
over the controls of your life...
and you're holding on to that...
which you ought to leave in God's hands.
As a result, you've lost the peace
of your salvation.
And you won't gain it back...
until you have
another "therefore" experience.
I thank God this morning for the
"therefores" of Paul, here in Romans.
Perhaps there's someone here this
morning who's never received Christ...
they've never let him
come into their hearts by faith.
They've never said, "Lord, I want you
to have your way in my heart. "
You know what God's way
in your heart is?
God wants to come in and cleanse
you from your unrighteousness...
and make something beautiful
out of your life.
He wants to forgive you of your sins.
And God says, "You, come on!
Just believe, and I'll forgive you. "
The most important thing about
turkey hunting is knowing your woods.
You can snatch me, or snake up...
and carry us off to a place
that we're not famlLiar with...
we don't know the woods, the country...
Hey, man, you're lost.
You'relike taking me out of Vernon
and sending me to New York City.
You just can't do nothing with them.
Knowing the woods.
Knowing which way they traveI.
So, in fact, just knowing the woods
is one of the...
Just knowing the range.
And when you go
to a new part of the country...
man, you're lost, or I am.
Any turkey hunter's lost.
I don't really know of any crimes
that's going on here.
Justlike any town, anywhere you go...
you're gonna have little incidents...
of things popping up.
Like someonewill walk in one of the
stores and might pick up an apple...
or clothespins or bobby pins
or razorblades or somethinglike this.
But this goes on in all towns.
Nothing really more serious than that.
Not at this time that I know of.
I traveled along the road, you know,
with a fellow in a car...
and I was looking, and I say, "Barney.
You see that water over there?"
And he says, "Yeah. "
Then we come right up to it,
and there was no water there.
It was just a mirage. In other words...
Well, to be...
scientific about it...
the lights, or the rays, the light bends.
So, if you get a different reflection,
say, for instance...
maybe a diamond don't even shine.
Maybe it's just the way it's cut,
and the way the light hits it.
It's justlike some day after the rain.
You take a picture of those drops
on the trees, and you can see them.
It's almost more beautifuI
than the diamond.
I was out here in these woods one night.
And I just had the feeling
that someone was out there.
And I heard that someone had fired
a couple of shots out there.
It kind of had me worried
that someone was out there.
I didn't know whether my walkie-talkie
was working right or not.
But one time I was worried, or scared,
whatever you might want to call it.
But this'll happen to the best of them.
Sometimes you just have that feeling...
that there's someone up-close to you,
or trying to get to you...
when you're outlike that by yourself.
I had the camera. And I was lucky.
I held the opera glasses against the
lens of the camera, and snapped it.
I just about judged where the...
I couldn't line it up any other way...
because when you had
the opera glass on the lens...
you couldn't see nothing.
And I held it up and it turned out.
Now, I don't know if this is
the moon or not. It lookslike some clouds.
I don't know if this is a star or what.
Well, no, it couldn't be that because...
That's a picture of the star.
I just took the camera and pointed it
up there. I didn't even sight it.
And then I took the picture that way.
Of course, as you can see,
that picture ain't too good.
It's a cheap camera,
you get a cheap picture.
Luck, you know.
I mean, when something turns out,
you say, "Gee, I'm lucky. " Right?
Well, of course...
you see, when you have a camera
and you point it at a certain...
Justlike if you had a gun,
you don't shoot, do you?
If you had a gun
and you pointed it at something...
you're liable to hit what you're
pointing at. Then again, you might not.
The bullet came in...
at just about this angle
and went into my seat here.
You see, I haven't had that repaired.
It's a small hole there.
It went in there
and lodged in the back of the seat.
The county sheriff's office
came out to investigate.
They had to dig it out of the back seat,
out of the back part of the seat.
It came in at an angle from the road.
I stlLI don't know why they did it.
Probably just to frighten me a little bit.
I'm not one that's gonna
frighten easy about things.
It don't bug you too much...
but the closer you get on him,
you want to make the Kill so bad.
It's in your blood,
or you wouldn't be out here hunting.
And believe me, it's in mine,
and Snake's, too.
And the closer he gets...
you're going to be electrocuted.
Each day, it comes closer...
the tension bulLds up.
It bulLds up in me.
I don't realize it.
But it's always bulLding up.
And the closer it gets, the worse it gets.
And after a whlLe, it comes to a point
that you forget about it.
When he gets right there on you,
I mean, you go blank.
You're concentrating on making the Kill.
And once you make the Kill...
you shoot, run, get the turkey,
or run him down or miss him.
Then all that tension...
that's bulLt up in you...
it makes me sick.
You get the dry heaves,like you get
on a morning after a Saturday night.
The dry heaves from a drunk.
Gag and puke. Just gag.
It's nothing but your nerves bulLt up
that's dying down.
That's all it is.
In four, five minutes, I'm all right.
Every star you see up there,
maybe it is a world.
You know, I mean,
it was made for some purpose.
You know, it's just up there,
see, and maybe...
in the future there'll be one Irish world...
one German world, one Russian world...
and one colored world.
I mean, each party has their own world.
But who knows?
You don't know God's plan.
Even Jesus Christ didn't know.
It says right in the Bible...
that no man can find out the answer
when the end of the world is.
Well, not the end of the world,
but the end of our world.
Our scheme of things.
Politicians, you know.
In a little town
when you talk to somebody...
and you tell them about the lights
on the road, they're not blinking.
They don't want to take no responsiblLity.
I says, "Who do you call? DOT?"
They didn't know, see. They don't care.
They should run them out of town,
on a ralL, tar and feathers.
Yeah, Ilike that.
That tar and feathers.
Boy, wouldn't youlike that?
To see some guy, or some kid
that did something wrong...
and they'd tar and feather him?
Well, he'd have something
to think about, wouldn't he?
Next time we'll give you
the hot seat, buddy.
I've never seen
anything more perfect in my life...
than to see the perfection of God himself.
You hear so much.
That thing just happened.
That just happened.
Folks think that way all the time.
"That just happened. "
There was an old fellow talking to me
in that house up yonder.
"There ain't no such thing as a God. "
I said, "Mr. Day?"
I said, "You believe you're here,
"Yeah, I believe I'm here. "
I said, "Do you believe
any man on earth made you?"
"No, I didn't make me. "
I said, "Do you believe any man
on earth made Adam and Eve?"
He said, "No, I don't believe it. "
I said, "What made them?
How come I'm here?"
He said, "That just happened. "
I said, "You saying 'just happened,'
let's call that God. "
Let's give it another name.
And say, "That just happened. "
That's what God is: just happened.
Whenever I got through work...
had a vacation coming in...
the boss man give me a bonus.
I come in home, and we left
that evening and started out.
We drove all night and all day.
We didn't stop-
mlLes out there.
White Sands Missile Base, out there.
That's where the first atomic bomb
was ever dropped.
There are sand dunes in there.
And that sand, it crawls.
It crawls over the roads.
They're sweeping it all the time
to keep it from covering up the roads.
It's growing sand.
That sand grows.
That desert runs out
an average of feet a year.
They've got graders.
They keep grading it off the road.
There's graders out there all the time
grading that sand off the road.
Pushing that sand back off
of those roads, where you get in there.
Build new roads every day.
Wind come in over that dry sand.
It wraps up so deep by sand overnight.
I reckon, it runs as high
as a telephone pole.
Paid and went in there...
and got where the white sand's at.
We got us some white sand.
I got a jar here where it grows in it.
See now, I had just a little bit of this
in this jar whenever I brought it out.
And now, you see, my jar is nearly full.
It grows. It crawls.
It crawls up the side of the jar, you see?
I reckon it's gonna fill up this jar.
In two more years, itwill fill up this jar.
They say it grows feet a year...
out where the town
that Billy the Kid got Killed.
They say itwill cover that town
in a year to come.
This century, less than years...
- that desertwill eat it up.
- Itwill cover that town.
WILI you look at that tree?
Thirty-fifth one flew.
Thirty-five on one cypress stump.
Listen to that sound.
Hear that sound?
Getting in and out of trees?
That flop-flop sound?
That soundwill sure mistake you
Hear that flop-flop. Limbs breaking.
Hear that good flop, then?
Listening to that
gives me the turkey fever.
I wish there were as many turkeys
as there are buzzards.