Wallace And Gromit In A Close Shave Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Wallace And Gromit In A Close Shave script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Nick Park movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Wallace And Gromit In A Close Shave. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Wallace And Gromit In A Close Shave Script





(Deep rumbling)



Ba-a-a-a! Ba-a-a-a!






(Brrrrp! Brrrrp! Brrrrp!)



(Click! Click! Click!)



Porridge today, Gromit! Tuesday.


















Huh? Oh!



Oh! Ow!



Calm dow... Turn it off!



(Splat! Splat! Splat!)



Aah! Ooh!



(Splurge! Splurge! Splurge!)



Mmmmff! Mmmm!






Um... Mice, do you think?






I think I'll make my own porridge.






Well, I'll be...!



Have you been peckish

during the night?



Only someone's been at me cheese.









(Wallace) Well, I don't know.



There's something

very fishy going on.






Huh?! Do you think we should

get the pest control people in?



(Phone rings)



Hello. Wallace and Gromit's

Wash'n'Go Window Cleaning Service.



May we be of assistance?



(Woman) 'Yes.

My windows need a jolly good clean.



'The wool shop in the High Street.

As soon as you can.'



On our way, madam!












Need wool, don't you, lad?



Thank you for coming so quickly.



Oh, dear!



Oh, allow me. Please.



(Wallace) Oh, I'm sorry!



I'll soon have these cleared up.



It's no trouble.

Oh, how embarrassing.



This is Preston, my dog.



All right, pooch?



(Wallace) Won't take a minute.



Well... I...



What was it you wanted?












Ramsbottom, Wendolene Ramsbottom.



Oh, charming.

I'm Wallace...the windows.



Is this place yours?



Mmm, my father left it to me.



Along with his debts...



and a few other things.



- He was an inventor.

- Never!



Well, I do a bit of that myself.






(Wallace) I see they still haven't

caught those sheep rustlers yet.



Still, you've got plenty of wool.



Your dog's waiting.



Aye, I'd better see to him.



The bounce has gone from his bungee.



Oh, they're spanking!

You've done a grand job.



Windows are our speciality.



(Front door opens)



(Wallace) Let's get that kettle on.



Good grief! What's all this?!



(Wallace) Burglars? Thieves?






Oh. What a mess!




I've never seen anything like it.



Heavens above, Gromit! Look at this!



The little chap

must be really hungry.



Come over here, lad.

No need to be sheepish.



We'll have to get you cleaned up.



There. Nothing to fret over.



Just a quick shampoo.



We've tested this on Gromit,

haven't we, lad?



Right! Off we go, then.



Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa!



(Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!)



(Wallace) Oh, 'eck!









Oh! Do something, Gromit!



(Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!)



Oh, it's too late now!



(Wallace) Oh!



Turn it off, Gromit! Oh! OH!



Oh! Oh, dear!



Oh, brilliant, Gromit!

Smashing, this!



A bit tight here and there.



(Muffled bleating)






Ah, he looks OK to me.



We'll call him "shorn", eh?

Come on, Sean!



(Grate squeaks)






Gromit? You know

we're doing the clock tomorrow?






Sorry, Gromit! That was a bit thick!



Back in a tick, Gromit.

Won't be long.



(Wallace) Just thought I'd pop in...



(Sean) Ba-a-a-a!



Tell me about windows.



Well, it's only temporary,

you understand.



Oh, really?



Oh, yes. I'm inventing, mostly.






What sort of inventions?



Well, sort of...



Daddy would love to have met you.



(Sighs) Poor Daddy.






Ba-a-a-a! Ba-a-a-a!



Of all the women I've met...



Not that there have been many,

you understand...









What I'm trying to say,

in a manner of speaking, is...






..of all the LADIES I've met.... Ooh!



(Wallace) Oh! Oo-ow!



Same time next week?















Ba-a-a-a! Ba-a-a-a!



Caught bang to rights you were.



You've really let us down

this time, lad.



- Hey, give over!

- (Doorbell rings)



Shoo! Shoo! Go on with you!



I'm sorry about this.



For what?






Just stay away from me, from my shop

and my silly, silly windows.



Well, I...



Forget me. I'm no good for you.



I'm so sorry about Gromit.









- Aaaaaah!

- Ba-a-a-a!






Oh, Gromit...



Oh, Gromit!



Oh, Gromit!












Ba-a-a-a! Ba-a-a-a!



Brilliant teamwork, lads!






- Oh!

- Ba-a-a-a!!



(Wallace) I suppose you'll have to

skip the country now.



A fugitive, eh?



You'll be hunted down like...

well, a dog.












Stop it. Stop it, Preston!



Oh! Oh!

I want no more of this rustling!



It wasn't so bad when it was

just the wool, but this is evil!



Daddy didn't create you for this!



You're supposed to protect me!



Let me out!

You won't turn ME into dog meat!



Dog meat?!



- Help!

- Don't worry, Wendolene!



I'm on my way!



We've lost them!






(Horn blares)



We're at maximum speed!



(Wallace) She won't go any faster!



Oh, 'eck!



(Wendolene) Wallace, help me!



Don't worry, Wendolene!

Everything's under control.









(Wendolene) Be careful, Sean!



(Wallace) Hey, steady on!

Single file! Oh!



Single file, I said!



Get yourselves organised down there!






Watch out, lads!



Oh, no! Aah!






Where did you get that from?



That's MY machine!

I've got patent pending on that!



(Wallace and Wendolene) Ooh! Oh!



- (Wendolene) Help! Oh, Sean! Help!

- (Wallace) Where's Gromit?!



Sean, do something!



(Wendolene) Help!



Attaboy, Gromit!



(Clunk! Clank!)



Well done, Gromit! That'll teach him!



(Thud! Thud! Thud!)



- He's malfunctioning!

- Mal-what?




Preston is a cyber-dog!



- Cyber-what?

- A robot!



Daddy created him for good,

but...he's turned out evil!












Ah! It's a sheep-mincing thing!



Now THAT'S clever!









Do something, Wallace!



Aaah! Whooaa!















- Whooooaaa!

- Ba-a-a-a!






By 'eck! I thought

we were all for the can then!



I couldn't pass by

without saying thank you.



He's just like he used to be.



(Wallace) Oh, don't mention it.



Thanks, pooch.



Give me a shout

if he goes wrong again.



You're very kind.



Come in. We were just about

to have some cheese.



Oh, no! Not cheese.

Sorry. It brings me out in a rash.



Can't stand the stuff.



(Gulps) Not even Wensleydale?



Got to be on our way.



Come on, Preston.









What's wrong with Wensleydale?



Talking of which...



All the more for us

and not a sheep to worry us!



Get off me cheese! Get off! Get off!



Gromit! Gromit! Go for him!



Gromit! Oh!



Get off with you! Oh!



- Ba-a-a-a!

- Shoo off!


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