Voila! Finally, the Wasabi
script is here for all you fans of the second Harry Potter movie written by
Luc Besson and starring Jean Reno. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Wasabi. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
This is the story of a man called Hubert.
47 years old.
6 feet, 3 inches.
The kind of guy who wouldn't hurt a fly.
Trouble is, this woman is no fly.
That's a bit harsh. Couldn't you wait?
I can't hear you!
Let's go somewhere we can talk.
The captain wants to see me. Grill him good.
Mr. Fiorentini? Van Eyck speaking.
I know you're working day and night
which means you are very hard to get hold of.
You've got hold of me now, so get to the point.
You have until tonight to sort it out.
Get my point?
I'm on my way.
Asked for me, sir?
What's with you? You got worries?
No more than usual.
In fact, things are cool just now.
You can't just go slugging people.
If you mean the girl in the club, she's a he.
Not the tranny.
All the others. Others? What others?
Try to remember.
He was stopping me doing my job.
Good! Think some more.
It's coming back to me. An altercation.
A kid shouted out to me
but I couldn't hear what he said.
I'm the Chief's son!
Didn't catch it. He did!
You'll want to apologize in person.
What do I say?
You took him for a big gangster. He'll like that.
I'm working on the tranny.
Where is he?
Where d'you think?
Hi, it's me. Remember me?
We met last night.
Don't worry, I'm not arresting you.
I'm not here on...
Well, here goes.
I came to say sorry.
I didn't recognize you.
I didn't know you were...
I got you mixed up with a big-time gangster
who wears the same coat.
I am truly very sorry.
See you around, then.
Sounds like this isn't a good time?
Hi, Sofia! Sorry, I'm working.
I know... When aren't you working?
Sundays. When you play golf!
I've got to relax.
Precisely why I'm calling.
To take you for dinner.
That's sweetbut I've no appetite just now.
He's lost his appetite.
Original, at least.
We can't get break him down.
The freak's enjoying it.
May I try?
Be my guest! Go ahead.
You're wasting your time.
You treat a lady right.
We'll get on fine, won't we?
Where are your sisters?
A gift. I keep it for big occasions.
A gift from a lady?
The love of my life.
One day, she vanished...
It's all I have.
Tell me which bank is next.
Banque de I'Etoile.
The whole gang'll be there.
Our last job. To go out with a bang.
You're a half-hour late.
Call all cars!
They're still inside?
You got things in hand?
Fuck! Not him!
It's cool. No one's leaving there.
They're surrounded and I'm in regular contact.
I'm on my way.
On his way? Says who?
Girls, what's going on?
Can't you use an ATM?
OK, everybody out.
I give the orders round here!
Stop or I blow his head off.
You're not killing anyone.
Only I'm allowed to do that. Here...
From your sister.
Unless you want plucking, too
I suggest you give up.
I feel sick. He's out to get us.
He can't hurt us.
We have dynamite and guns. He's full of shit!
Call that a gun?
For ear piercing maybe.
Let's see what you're packing!
Look at his!
Hand it over!
I don't think so. You might chip a nail.
Cut it out!
Lay it down and slide it over.
I warned you.
Hey, girls! See that? OK, game over!
I'll count to . Don't worry, I count slow.
What you gonna do at jerk-off?
We're not joking here!
Can't get even minutes' R
It's Sunday, sir. Cops don't do weekends.
The Chief just called.
I asked you to apologize, not terrorize the kid.
What? I took him flowers.
And sent him straight back to ER.
His Dad's worried.
I don't get it.
The kid won't work for months.
The Chief suggests the same...
You get results but your methods...
Forget the Wild West!
This is France.
As a cop, you must abide by the law.
And lose buddies in years.
I take them flowers, too.
You can't live for the dead. Get real!
You've no friends, no wife, no kids. No roots.
You have to get a life, Hubert!
Start a family. Put a smile on your face.
Make an effort.
Don't you like women?
Sure I do.
Don't you have someone?
I did have. Long ago.
We all know about that.
You were posted to Japan, fell in love
But she ran off.
That was years ago now.
OK, . Great!
This isn't double jeopardy.
Do me a favor. Use these months to chill out.
Go shopping. I hate shopping.
Dress yourself up and have some fun.
A guy like you in an Armani shirt and scent
will get the girls!
You're suspending me?
I'm encouraging you.
Drop the cop and prove you can be a man.
I've never seen you in a shirt.
All my t-shirts are in the wash.
What's wrong? I'm taking your coat.
That smells great. Caramelized pork.
No, something else.
Are you wearing scent?
An old bottle I found.
Xmas, years ago.
Sure of it.
Your appetite's back? It's a first taste.
I have some excellent Shochu.
Is that OK? Fine.
What's so funny?
I haven't worked...
Since I was widowed. years ago.
Like a spring roll?
I like, yes.
That was just perfect.
It's only a little dinner.
The first in years. Really?
Did your ex teach you how to cook?
In just months?
You can learn a lot in months, believe me.
I believe you.
Call me a cab? Already?
You have a better idea?
It's just that... I thought that...
Now we know each other, you'd maybe...
like to stay over?
I think I'll walk.
It's warm out. It'll round off a great evening.
I don't understand.
I'm touched. You're trying hard.
But you don't trust women.
They tend to run out on me.
I don't want to run out on you.
Just spend some time with you.
That's what love is.
Not moping for years.
if you prefer.
If she loved you, she'd be here now.
You'd have had wonderful babies.
Instead, she left you a bunch of
Memories and recipes.
When your heart's free, call me.
I can't cook but I make love very well.
We'll make wonderful babies.
You seem tired.
Take a vacation.
I think we should separate. Don't you?
Mr. Fiorentini, Hubert, of Paris Police Dept.?
You know Miko Kobayashi?
I know her.
You've seen her?
Yes, at the morgue.
She died yesterday in Tokyo.
Sorry to bring you bad news.
My name is Hishibashi.
I will be reading her will tomorrow.
She named you as sole legatee.
I'd like you to be here.
I'm in her will? On every page.
As you left Japan
it wasn't easy to find you.
OK? Tomorrow? I'm in Paris.
There's a plane leaving at .
And another flight at . .
I booked you on both.
The ticket's at the desk.
I'll have to talk to my boss.
I already did. Mr. Squale, isn't it?
He wants you to come.
And stay as long as you like.
I'll think it over.
You'll have to hurry.
Where's the fire? That's just it.
She will be cremated tomorrow.
I thought you'd like to see her one last time.
I'm on my way.
Business or pleasure?
you come from...?
French. Your sense of humor gives you away.
Sorry? I meant your plane?
Look up and you see
just one arrival:
from Paris. Look down at the label:
CDG, short for Charles de Gaulle, Paris.
You see, a sense of humor and observant, too.
Let me show you how observant I can be.
Open your bag.
Get a move on.
Where's the fire!
Where is he? Room .
Did you hurt him? We're not thugs.
I haven't seen him for years.
If he's beaten up, I won't recognize him.
I'm so nervous. A real virgin.
How do I look?
Am I presentable?
He threw his fist at me
He was mad
It's all in a sudden, it hurt
You recognize me?
I'm so happy!
Let me look.
Same as ever. Off the plane into the shit!
If you don't mind, save it for later.
It's OK, he's one of ours.
He was a captain, I was a novice.
Special unit in Japan spying on the Ruskies.
Wild times, I can tell you.
Don't bother. Just don't say another word, OK?
Sorry, but your officer lacked respect.
I corrected him... A little hastily.
Your reputation precedes you.
What brings you to Tokyo?
A mission? No, a short vacation.
You bet! He doesn't hang around.
Still the same car.
You don't change a winning team.
I got out. No more commando stuff.
I'm a cop now. I've a quiet life.
Just work and sleep.
Sure! And crochet on your day off.
Almost. Golf! Sad thing is, I enjoy it.
It was time you came back, then.
What's on the menu?
Sink a ship? Sabotage a power plant?
Remember the time we blew up an arms
What a mess!
This is a private visit.
Did you ever see that girl again?
What was her name?
You were crazy in love with her.
A real lapdog.
She died yesterday.
I'm here for the cremation.
Sorry. Didn't know.
But you knew I was here.
I'm still with Intelligence.
Where to? Here's the address.
Shinjuku? The red-light district!
Mr Hishibashi. Please come in.
Mr. Fiorentini? You got it.
You look exactly like
Ms. Kobayashi's portrait of you.
years on, of course.
... As you say.
Please, take a seat.
Ms. Kobayashi named you her sole legatee.
She left you all she possessed
which I have here
in this box.
Please sign the receipt
and acceptance of the will.
You were a poet back then.
Even when you were in the military.
Where it began, it shall end.
She had a last wish I can take care of?
Just one. Her daughter.
Until she comes of age.
How old is she? going on .
You mean her mother... I...
You mean I might... Her mother...
I mean... What...
What's she called?
Her name is Yumi. You'll like her.
What is this? An introduction.
You mean she's...
Next door. She got out today.
Out of prison? It's not very serious.
When she found out her mother had died
she got drunk and hit some cops.
Let her tell you.
I have a -year-old daughter
who's just out of jail?
I adapt quickly but let me think about this.
Is she really mine?
On her birth certificate, you see
your name is in the father column.
According to your partner's will
you were the only man she knew.
So, why left me? Not mentioned.
Have you told her about me?
I thought you'd like to tell her.
Sure! I come back after years.
Hi! Daddy's here!
After losing her mother
she'll love meeting you.
What if her mother met a guy just after me?
Who knows now?
You could ask for a DNA test to be sure.
But from what I've seen, she's your daughter.
And she's next door?
Don't say a word... Daddy and all that.
As you wish.
I don't want to upset her any more.
's a fragile age. Of course.
Although you'd never guess. Indeed!
Why not open it?
It's getting me mad locked up in here
I'm hungry, real hungry
And it's hot, very very hot too
Who the hell is he?
What did she say?
Tell her I knew her mother. I'm a friend.
He's your Mum's friend, from Paris
He's a good man, don't worry
Got a name, dude?
Tell her my name is Hubert.
I think she speaks French.
Hello. I'm Hubert.
Yumi! Behave or I'll hand you over!
The cops don't scare me! I hate them!
Can we have a drink? Sake?
I don't get it.
I don't know why I am here
I'm hot and I'm hungry
It's sick, do you understand?
What the hell is going on?
Thanks, that's better.
Why didn't my mother ever mention you?
Why did she teach you French?
She worked at the Embassy.
Me, too. That's where we met.
Why are you here?
Your mother chose him as sole legatee.
He'll take care of you until
you come of age in...
days. Cool! You won't be around long.
Be nice to your...
Your mother's last wish
entrusting you to Mr. Hubert
shows how much she thought of him
even if she never mentioned him.
So, if your mother
trusted him, you can trust him also.
It's only for days.
Come on, let's go see Mom!
Let's walk. It's not far.
How about a taxi?
I'm on the verge. Don't argue with me.
He doesn't hang around!
Can I ask you a question?
For the next days, I ask the questions.
You've not lost it. minutes to get a girl!
She's Miko's daughter. Mine, too!
I didn't know you had kids that hot!
Me neither. Stay discreet and can it.
Shit's hit the fan again.
Mum, your friend Hubert from Paris is here
Hello, Miko. Good to see you.
she always had a hint of a smile.
Just like yours.
When did you last see her?
I'll leave you together.
You must have lots to say to each other.
Why didn't you tell me? Why?
I'll look after her for you.
She's all I have of you now.
What are you doing? Force of habit.
You're a doctor? Sure, I'm a doctor.
What did she die of? Cancer.
Do you have her file?
It's at home.
What's your specialty? Surgery.
Great! I need a nose job.
Look, I have a huge nose.
It's no fun, at my age, to have a huge nose.
Your nose is fine.
Must be my bastard father's nose.
Do you know your father?
Luckily for him. If I did, he'd be dead.
Why so much hate?
He seduced my mother. Then he raped her!
He didn't? He did!
Tomorrow, I come of age.
I'll work my ass off to set the Yakuza on him.
I have to sit down.
You want some more sake?
No, a chair's fine.
This is Momo, an old pal
who lives in Tokyo.
You look so much like...
Your Mom. You knew her?
Not at all. Let's go.
You told her you're a cop? What?
I lost her mother, I won't lose her.
She can handle it.
You're her father, right?
She doesn't know that!
She'd kill me! That's a shit!
Really? Great, today?
She knows Miko's her Mom?
Just how stupid are you?
Of course, she knows!
This thing's so complex, I can't keep up.
Oh, Yumi, are you alright?
My Aunt, Atsuko, Mom's sister. Shit!
It seems I saw him before
He's a bit weird
She knows you from somewhere
but she can't place you.
Good. I mean, shame. Now, about that file.
It's through there.
I get back to my room
See you, auntie
Can I have a piss?
I'm going to wet myself.
Maybe I'll change the wallpaper.
Why not? A forest scene, deers...
And some bunny rabbits, too?
I was thinking more of...
A giant nuclear mushroom cloud
with lots of tiny people
dancing to a techno beat all round.
That's not bad, either.
Where's your Mom's room?
She lived up in town.
Only spent weekends here.
You like music?
Here it is.
What did she do? I don't know.
Her work was a big mystery.
You're not kidding!
What are you looking for? Nothing.
It's just routine.
If you want the next days to be fun
stop treating me like some kind of idiot!
You took samples from under her nails
and near her nose.
Something's not quite right with her file.
And, for we doctors, no evidence is no proof.
For cops, too.
For cops, too.
I'll run some tests
and you will be the first to know.
Is that a deal?
It's a deal.
Will you help me track down my father?
Sure, but mourn your Mom before
you kill your Dad.
He probably lives miles away.
Who told you that your mother was raped?
Mom. No way! I mean, goodness me!
Wouldn't your Mom have put up a fight?
Why would she lie?
To protect you. Or maybe to protect him.
Why protect a guy like that?
Maybe he isn't like that.
You do need new wallpaper.
Get this to a lab for analysis.
What is it? I want to find out.
Is tomorrow OK? You have hour.
I'm so glad he's back!
I'll transfer some cash for you.
Are you rich?
My bank loves me.
I'll wire you an allowance every week.
Weird! Mom did exactly the same.
francs every Friday.
I always spent it by Monday.
I hope there's more than in the box.
Ask how much there is and
how to transfer from France.
I speak French, sir. Great.
How much is the Yen worth?
It's in dollars, sir.
Are you sure? There must be an error.
Indeed, I understand your surprise.
This is capital.
Interest goes into a separate account.
Shall I print it out, too?
Sure, why not?
In dollars still?
Would you like the total?
Don't worry. Forget it.
Well, is there enough?
We'll get by.
What about the wire, sir?
I'll never forget this.
It's not much. It's too much.
I feel I have a Dad.
I'm sure your real father
would have done exactly the same.
But he's not here.
I'm so lucky to have met you.
Now let's go shopping!
Go easy now.
I never spend more than I have.
A commendable attitude.
Like it? Sure!
Can I use your phone?
Momo? What about the tests?
The results of the crystals are through.
Ferrous mercuric potassium, a.k.a...
A new cure for cancer?
Unlikely but you're the doc.
You're the cop. Tell me:
cyanide traces, doctored medical file
dirt under her nails... Conclusions?
Someone helped her die
and didn't expect you on the case.
This is a red alert.
Meet me at the lmperial in hour.
All you can get hold of.
What's up? You smell great.
Why not try a vest or a sweater?
We'll do the whole store.
Fiorentini. I have a suite booked.
I apologize for asking you this
but is the young lady of age?
She's my daughter.
I didn't mean to be rude, sir.
Put those in the bedroom.
Good idea: my daughter.
I had no choice.
He's pretty dumb.
We don't look at all alike.
Maybe the nose.
Drop of sake?
Don't you want to try things on?
You want a show?
Sure. Get on the runway.
I went shopping.
You'll love this.
All your favorites!
Heat-seeking rocket launcher.
grams each. I got two.
Compressed air missiles.
Rip out a tree at yards.
She's your daughter? Meaning?
She's nothing like you.
Maybe the nose. Next up?
Stops a tank at yards.
Anything a bit more discreet?
City wear? I have discreet.
Light but classical. Magnum
the latest Uzi, rounds a second
and one from Russia that fires mustard gas.
From Argentina, rubber bullets.
And I picked up a few grenades.
I knew it. How about some grenades?
The idea is to remain discreet.
Not to freak her out.
What's the juice? I have no idea.
First, the woman I love vanishes.
years on, she leaves me a kid and
In Yumi's bank account.
For now. The way she spends it
it'll last days.
Even so. $ million!
And we have goons in shades tailing us.
After the money, I guess.
You guess? $ million...
Where it began, it shall end.
That's why Miko chose me.
She tried to make contact. That's it.
Someone stopped her. So, she left me clues.
And $ million.
Precisely. It's not yours, so forget it.
Can we see Miko's security file?
I'll call a pal in Jap Intelligence.
The answer to this lies in her past.
I'm going out.
Like that? I mean, it's chilly out. How about...
Or an oilskin?
I'm going dancing, not fishing.
Anyhow, I'm always too warm, like Mom.
Aren't you scared? The streets aren't safe.
Swarming with rapists. What?
Not every day.
If I have to die, I may as well die partying.
If you're so worried, come with me.
Play the dutiful Papa.
You seem to enjoy it.
This is a nightclub?
Uncle Hubert and Uncle Maurice.
No, honestly, I'm too old for that.
I have bad knees.
Come on! Just for me!
Cross your legs over!
Good first try. I'm proud of you.
No way. I have bad everything.
All right, just one go.
What's he say? He wants a fight.
It's a game where knees are optional.
Where? Over there.
Shit, I was winning.
What's up? I'll explain later.
Go ahead. I'll watch first.
Do you mind if we postpone our shootout?
How do we get out? That way.
Sorry to spoil your evening.
Who are you? I'm not a doctor.
Thanks. I think I noticed that.
Who are you? Killing all those people?
And who were they anyway?
Why were they armed, too?
I don't know what goes wrong
It's all your fault
Get that? Not a word.
Calm down and I'll explain everything. Here...
Dry your eyes.
Now she reminds me of someone.
Go find Miko's file and call the lab
for the results.
Meet me at the hotel. I get carsick.
Miko wanted me here.
She trusted no one. Except me.
Even after so long.
She wanted to tell me something, a secret.
Someone had her killed before
she could tell me.
They tailed us. I think it's you they're after.
Me? What for? Why would they be after me?
That's what I want to know.
She had a place in town?
I only went there once. years ago.
She had left something important behind.
We went over but she wouldn't let me go in.
I stayed outside the door.
When I said that I wanted to see
where she lived
she slapped my face.
The only time she ever hit me.
You recall the address?
Was your mother always so zen?
She was tidy but not this tidy.
Someone got here before us.
Why take the furniture?
To search it.
They don't know Miko.
Never place an object in
an object that can be displaced.
I don't get it. You will.
I still don't get it.
How did you know about that?
We had the same training.
Tell me what it says.
Just names and numbers.
Now, we're getting somewhere.
You may be, I'm not.
My Mom calls in a friend who shoots people
and punches holes in the wall.
Listen... Trust me.
The nightmare will soon be over.
Come on, let's go.
This time, they left the furniture.
What were they after? Nothing.
They're just trying to intimidate us.
They'll be in touch soon.
So, what do we do? Go?
No, we sit down and wait.
At least, they don't make holes.
That's it. Then like Wolves...
Welcome to Japan.
I am Katanawa.
That probably means nothing to you.
Not a thing!
I'd like to meet you
if you have a few minutes to spare.
With pleasure. I hear you are a golfer.
Indeed. It relaxes me.
Let's have a game.
My car is waiting downstairs.
What's the story? Golf!
At a time like this?
It helps me think.
And in golf
you have to get the ball in the... hole!
Can you have the room made up?
Are you deaf? I got it.
We have a problem. By the door.
I have Miko's file and the lab results.
Here. Don't lose it.
Tail us and be ready to act.
What kind of stance is that?
Bend your knees. You're not a duck!
Stick to Play Station, old fella.
That way, you won't lose any balls.
I hear you're good ...
I hit the ball at least.
So good you're dangerous.
Let's not exaggerate.
I'd like a demonstration.
Why come back to Japan after so many years?
Not enough bad memories?
Time makes them all good.
Isn't it money that lured you back?
I don't follow.
I mean the $ million you discovered
in your daughter's bank account.
Bastard! I hate you! Calm down.
You're a filthy liar!
I wanted to tell you. But you were so angry.
You walked out on me and Mom.
I didn't walk out!
She ran out on me without a word.
I only found out you existed yesterday.
If I'd known my amazing daughter
I'd have come for you both.
I'd have stopped all this.
My darling girl!
But before letting you get to know each other
I want my money!
Even Yumi can't touch the money.
The account is frozen until she comes of age.
Which means we have ... hours to wait.
At AM, the bank will be open and
your daughter will be years old.
Take away the kid
Stop! Leave me along
Torture them to death slowly
A tricky shot but when it comes off
it's a hole in .
Nobody move! French Intelligence!
Are you OK?
Enemy neutralized. You're seconds late.
The grenade ... What about it?
The pin's out.
That's some grenade.
There was a case of them in the trunk.
What you got?
Miko took maternity leave years ago
and that was it.
Her file vanished.
But the Defense Ministry opened one on her
marked Top Secret.
I couldn't access anything except ...
These are just wedding photos.
Look at the groom.
The son of a Yakuza boss:
Katanawa, a.k.a The Zebra because of ...
The scars on his face.
Know him? Golf parter.
And? th row, on the left.
Miko at a Mob wedding.
I don't believe it. Not her!
That's not all. Miko joins the Mafia.
But in a quiet ceremony last month
she is decorated with Japan's highest award.
A double agent ...
On a secret mission
to infiltrate and destroy the Yakuza.
She had to make a clean break from her past.
She left me
to serve her country.
You'd do the same.
The rest is simple. After some success
her cover's blown
She empties the Zebra's account
to leave me enough clues
to finish the job.
That's very strong.
Even so, there's a piece of the puzzle missing.
I don't know.
Why keep Yumi from me?
Maybe she didn't want to get you involved.
When she could no longer protect her
she called for you ...
To protect her from herself.
She knew the kid would just blow
What's this called?
It's really good.
The dirt under her nails?
Of course. That's where we declared our love.
Where it all began, it shall end. Let's go.
Hurry! We have to be at the bank for AM.
My beloved Hubert
I gave my life for my country and I regret it.
All those years without you.
Even if in some ways
I know, you never really left me.
You will be in my heart forever.
Take care of our child.
She's wonderful but extravagant.
Here's the code to rein in her spending.
There should be enough for you
both to be safe and happy.
It's not much but maybe
Yumi will make up for the bad memories.
And doesn't time make them all good?
Your beloved and devoted Miko.
The old crew still around?
Except the dead ones.
Call them up.
Don't try anything stupid
Deposit or withdrawal?
Cash or transfer? Transfer.
Easy. Jot down the account you want to debit.
And the one you want to credit.
Do you follow me?
On the left
Lausanne? In Switzerland?
We're in a hurry. Right away, sir.
All of it. Both accounts?
Yes, both accounts.
That'll keep him in hookers.
What? I said, you'll have fun spending it.
$ million is ... A healthy sum.
You are or over?
Since this morning.
She may sign.
Enough! Give me my receipt.
I do receipts.
He does receipts.
I wouldn't do that.
Either he drops it or
you won't get out of here alive.
In that case, neither will you.
Well played. I lose.
Defeat only makes victory sweeter.
Name your price.
You can't afford it.
The $ million are now in my account.
Just flew away.
Yumi, come here.
You saw me play golf.
I'm just as good a shot with a .
Call off your men.
We're police, come out slowly
You're being surrounded
Put down your weapons
Hands up and walk out slowly
It's all over.
Wait for me.
It can't be!
You know Katanawa the Zebra?
He and his men tried to rob the bank.
I had to dissuade them.
Are you in Japan long?
Or can we start tidying up?
Go ahead, it's a big mess.
Mr. Fiorentini's bank account have money!
Hold on, I don't need protection.
I know.We're protecting people from you.
It was great to see you.
In Paris next time. You bet.
What's that? Wasabi.
You liked it so much ...
Maybe for breakfast?
It's sweet of you.
Take care of her.
Count on me.
Why, when I just find my father
does he have to go?
days ago, you'd have killed me.
Teenagers are like that.
They can't make up their minds.
They cry for no reason.
I have something for you, too.
I didn't have time to go shopping...
It was your mother's. I kept it for years.
month. little month.
Graduate high school while
I atomize your room.
It will be the longest month of my life.
For me, too, Yumi.
You can go through.
Just peace and quiet until we get to Paris.
Can I have your attention?
Who do these belong to?