Voila! Finally, the The Wash
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Snoop Dogg and Dr.
Dre movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The Wash. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
- Get me a box of them condoms. - Okay.
And give me some of that fruit-flavored lubricant, too.
Give me some of them blunts, Mexicali.
I want some incense.
Try to get this motherfucker fixed.
Oh, but she's still--
She's still dancing.
I don't fuck with a bitch unless she gives me ass.
Buy her something to drink, it's a guarantee.
God damn!
Nephew, go get them off.
Man, I don't know them niggas.
Why don't you roll up there with me?
Quit acting scared.
We both go up there it'll look like something's up.
You know niggas get real paranoid
when they see a gang of motherfuckers walking up.
Sojust get the ho's and hurry up.
You're probably right.
Fuck it. Hold this for me.
Nigga, make sure you watch my back.
Nigga, if you need me, just whistle.
Come on, nigga.
Oh, excuse me, man. What's up?
"What do you mean, ""What's up,"" nigga?"
- This nigga's got into some shit. - No, I don't mean it like that.
- I mean, what's happening? - What's happening here?
I'm trying to find out if Diane and Vickey live here.
What are you, the police or something?
Wait wait wait. Hold up, homie. Hold up.
Hold up?
Check this shit out. You hold up.
Look, man, I want no problems. I ain't come for all that.
Shit.
It's too late for that, nigga.
What you doing?
- What you talking about? - What you doing?
- You know this nigga? - Yeah! That's Sean.
- Sean, that's my brother Maniac. - What's up, man?
Let's roll, man.
All right, boy, I'lI see you later.
Your mama.
Why the fuck your people tripping on me like that?
Hey, babies. Vickey and Diane.
- Man's best friends. - Hey.
Smelling good, looking good.
- How come you didn't come help me? - Come help?
You didn't see them niggas pull a strap on me?
Them niggas pulled a strap on you just now?
Look, man, I saw you start the fucking car up.
Let's go.
Did you see anyone pull a strap on him?
- Let's go. - Fuck it, let's just go.
- Fuck this. - Quit tripping.
Let me get these lights.
Sean, you got some hot sauce?
I hope you got some hot sauce real hot,
'cause it'd be the shit with this chicken.
Something old or new? - Definitely something old school.
Why you all in my chicken box?
I got something they don't have any motherfuckin' more.
Hey!!
Turn that shit down!
Stupid young niggers making all that noise.
I'll call the police.
Turn that shit down!!
Hey!!
Shut the fuck up, old man.
Quit beating on my motherfucking wall!
Beat these nuts if you want to beat something.
God damn!
Who the fuck's knocking on the door like the police!
Hey, y'all, it is the police!
Turn that shit down. Put this shit out.
Oh, how are you, officers?
How are you doing? Can you step away from the door, please?
Yeah, we got a call about the music.
I don't hear any music. But we'll try to keep it down for you.
Don't try, son. Do it.
And burn some incense or something.
Shut the fuck up, Dee Loc nigga.
Turn that shit back up, cuz.
Wake your ass up, Cali. It is Westside Radio.
We're gonna have a hot morning.
I've got a lot of cool stuff. Request lines are open.
I wanna know what you wanna hear. We got a lot of giveaways,
and we've got a world premiere for you this morning.
Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog world premiere.
Do not touch the dial,
it is Westside Radio banging through your speakers.
California love, y'all, Julio G.
Dee!
Hey!
Nigga, you ain't going to work?
Yeah, I'm going to work, cuz.
I'm just weak at the knees. I need an hour worth of rest.
I'm gonna head up to the unemployment office.
None of them white folks ain't fixin' to do shit for you.
Quit bullshitting and come down to The Wash.
That don't sound like a bad idea.
Think I might roll up here and see what they're talking about.
All right, cuz, in a minute.
Yeah... look like y'alI had more fun than I did.
Little shit!
What is it?
Three day notice?
Shit!
- Hey! - I said no!
Nigga, stop, damn!
Get your ass up. It's time to go.
Leave me alone, Sean. Leave me alone.
Wastin' my goddamn money.
Bitch.
Motherfuckers!
YOU WANNA SUE? Call the Law Offices of Pooh Parker
What's up, bro'?
Hey, give a nigga a ride or something, man!
You got some weed?
That's fucked up!
I gotta get my shit together.
Excuse me, baby. Excuse me.
THE WASH
- Do some freestyle, homie. - You want my shit?
- Yeah. - All right,
I'll pour my heart out. All right.
Wisdom, which means wise words being spoken
Get on the mic and watch the mic start smokin'--
Hey, hold on. Ain't that Rakeem rhymes you biting?
Yeah.
No. That's my-- I wrote that.
Nigga, please.
Let me bang y'all something-- ooh!-- real hot right here, man!
This right here's going out to my homies at The Wash,
'cause I know they're getting their wash on!
Get my back, I got this one, all right?
Come on. Come on!
Yo, Juan!
Let's see what this motherfucker can do.
I don't listen to cops, my system knocks late night
Everything from my paint to my registration type
Keep it moving smooth like I'm skating on ice
Till I stop painting it's just another day in the life
I'll be riding high...
Hey, how you doing? Is your owner around?
Damn, what did I do?
Must have got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Look, I'm just trying to find out if the owner's here.
- What do you want with him? - I came to inquire about the job.
The assistant manager position?
Yeah.
- Oh, is that right? - That's right.
I'lI see if he's in.
Wait here.
You know you screwed up. You know you screwed up.
I'll be with you in a minute. You know it don't make no sense.
You putting wax on the lady's gas pedal.
Wax goes on the car, not the gas pedal!
- But I-- - But I, my ass!
You know that lady's old. Her foot slipped off the pedal,
she ran into a tree and they're suing me.
You gonna give me some free overtime for this one.
And I need somebody to cover for Chris since I let him go.
- You fired Chris? - Yes, I fired Chris!
This is my place, and the same can happen to your ass!
- I know, sir. - Go home
before I exercise that option!
Wouldn't be saying this if I didn't need this job for this halfway house.
Say what?
I heard that.
I know you don't want me to call your P.O.
- And I don't mean the post office. - I didn't say nothing,
Mr. Washington, sir.
You never do.
Antoinette? What was it you wanted?
There's some guy talking about he's trying to get a job.
- Is he clean? - Probably not.
- Let me check. - Bring him back here.
Hope he's better than the last person we had.
All right, turn around.
- Turn around! - Damn!
Damn!
- What's that? - Pager.
Turn it off and turn it back on!
Okay. Go ahead.
Yes sir-ee, Bob.
Whoo! Those were the days.
Come have a seat.
Now...
I was your age on this one.
You had to be tough back there.
And that's what I'm looking for-- somebody tough.
Someone able to give orders and take them.
- You think you can handle that? - Sir, yes, sir.
I can handle that, Mr. Washington.
Call me Mr. Washington. Tell me about yourself.
Well... um...
I was working--
I had a job as assistant manager at the Footlocker.
- What happened at the Footlocker? - I got laid off.
Yeah? Wasn't no funny business, was it?
No. No, sir.
- No, sir. - You sure?
No, wasn't nothing like that.
Things got a little slow and...
of course you know who's the first to go.
Uh-uh. All niggas say that.
Well... okay.
SUPER COPS SECURITY
I understand how hard it is for young Black minorities to getjobs,
but you known what? I'll fire your nigger ass too!
You probably walked by here a thousand times
and didn't know you were looking at a gold mine.
Uh-uh... but you know all that glitters ain't gold.
But I can tell you one thing,
everything that comes out of here may not glitter,
but it damn sure sparkles!
- Ain't nothing wrong with that. - Let me show you around.
Here's something for the bucket going through.
Hey, officer, what's happening?
- Just securing the perimeter, family. - I see.
- Large fries? - That's a - .
That's my lazy ass nephew.
I take it you've met Antoinette.
Antoinette, herjob is to ring up the tickets and total the sales.
We're about to hit you with the number one video, here it is.
Antoinette,
say hello to your new boss, Sean.
Hey, how you doing?
Hey! Where are you going, son?
- I gotta booboo. - Not today.
Get your ass back out there on that line.
"Let me show you something. ""I gotta booboo."""
Let him booboo on his own time.
Well...
what'd you think?
About what?
Ooh-hh!
- Is this you? - Yes, sir!
"A ' ""El Do."" This is a cold piece."
Dee Loc didn't tell me he had a player for a boss.
Yeah, I-- Dee Loc?
Dee Loc's the one who told you about this job?
- Yeah. - Where the fuck is he?
- He's supposed to be here by
- I think he had car problems. - That's typical.
I won't have that problem with you, am I?
Cause if I am, I'll fire your ass before I hire you!
Come on!
It ain't a hard job. You think you can handle that?
- I wouldn't be here if I couldn't. - I think you can, too.
Just do the best you can, that's all.
Uh-oh.
Oh, boy.
Mr. Washington, you want something?
- No thank you. - You sure? It's not a problem.
I'm cool. I'm cool.
Oh, boy.
Let me get a steak with cheese burrito.
Mr. Wash, don't you see how hard we're working?
I see how hard you're about to work me.
Well, actually-- actually, me and--
me and Li'I Dee right here,
we were thinking how it sure would be time to start upping our pay.
Yeah.
- Upping your pay? - Yeah.
First of all, you ain't thinking.
"Second of all, when y'all find ""upping"" in the dictionary,"
that's when I'll do that. But until then,
y'alI need to be upping your ass over on that line.
Asshole and Asshole Light.
Mother--
I told you not to fuck with him!
What?!
- You stupid. - Man, look...
ON THE AIR
I told about this earlier this morning,
I got a world premiere for you, so get your tape decks ready.
It's going dow like this,
Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog world premiere. West Coast!
- It switches for the bitches! - What's up, my nigga?
Yeah, I'm chillin'. Top of the motherfuckin' morning.
Hey, what you alI think it is, a parking lot?
Get your ass back to work!
- I'm going to lunch. - You ain't been here two hours.
I'm taking it early.
Shit, now I got to cover the register.
So you finally decided to come to work?
- What's your excuse for today? - How you doin', Mr. Wash?
- What's up, Dee? - Hey, my nookie.
- You eating that bullshit, huh? - I told him.
What's wrong?
I only get drinks from that motherfucker.
- This man told me you referred him. - Yeah, that's my nigga.
He's a good dude. Clean-cut dude. Suit-and-tie type of nigga.
- Real professional. - Yeah?
Goddamn!
- Jesus Christ! - Nasty motherfucker!
Damn.
You'll be doing that shit all day.
Let's cut the small talk.
Dee, get your ass over on the line.
Bear and Jimmy don't do shit without you.
We got to cover the register. That girl's gone to lunch.
Hey, Dee.
- What's up, cuz? - Man!
I told you don't come into this motherfucker.
- You've got the shit? - I've got the shit.
And I've got some sore balls.
Hurry up, my boss is here.
I've been riding all day, man.
All the way from Humboldt County.
- On that load, motherfucker? - Yeah.
Check it out, bro'.
Okay, listen.
I'm not selling weed, you dig?
But I can sell you the bong. And the weed's free.
- All right. - That way I'm not dealing.
- Cool. - Okay.
Okay, now... here.
That's haIf a pound. And I got--
this is for a quarter of an ounce.
No, that's an ounce.
No that's a quarter, that's an ounce.
This is a quarter, okay?
I've got some really dynamite-- oh here it is.
Dynamite, huh?
Check it out. This shit will knock you on your ass.
Oh, shit!
- That's what I'm talking about. - Hey, that ain't nothing.
- Look at this. - That little shit?
This will knock you on your ass. This is from South Africa.
It's Durban Poison.
It's the weirdest shit. It's like psychedelic.
I smoked it two days ago.
I've been riding the scooter since Humboldt County.
That smoke will get you all wired up.
It's the greatest stuff I've ever smoked.
And it's just pure smoke. I can let you have everything for five grand.
I ain't got no motherfuckin' $ .
Come on, look at you.
You're rich. Come on, five grand, that's cheap.
Check it out. I've got four or five hundred I can spend with you.
$ ?
Okay, you can have it all for $ . Except this.
- Let me get that too. - No, I can't let you have it.
I need to drive home. I'lI need this.
Cool. All right.
Done dizzle, manizzle.
I'll meet you out front in two minutes.
Okay.
- Hello? - Good morning. Mr. Washington?
How's your day going? Good.
'Cause the rest of your day's gonna be fucked!!
You fucked with the wrong motherfucker, asshole!
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
I'm gonna fucking kill you!!
I got the motherfucking AK
And I'm gonna spray every motherfucker from around your way
I got the motherfuckin' Glock
And I'm comin' on your motherfuckin' block!
How some fool get my private line?
Probably wonder how I got this number, huh?
Good morning, Mr. Washington.
How's your day going? Good.
The rest of your day's gonna be fucked!!
My nigga. So you got the job, huh?
You know it. That's good looking out, my nigg.
- Charge it. - And guess what?
- What's happening? - I'm your boss.
Ain't that a bitch!
You're a fool for that.
So you can pay your half of the rent now.
Man, you stupid.
- Damn! - What's up with you?
It's a little gas or something.
- I'll be all right. - Shit! That's what you think.
Man, that shit from that truck's killing me.
Where do you think they get the meat to cook that bullshit?
So they gave a nigga a people burrito?
Basically.
It's a trip.
You noticed the day goes by real fast when we're working?
Don't seem like that to me.
Maybe you need to get busy and do some work.
I do enough not to get fired.
Dog, you ain't gonna get fired.
He loves making threats. He wants to scare you.
I don't know about that.
Did you know... Mr. Washington fired Chris?
He fired Chris?
Chris Chris?
You don't see him around, do you?
Whoa! No shit!
Damn!
Is my ride out there, Juan?
You don't pay me to be no look out. That's my otherjob.
It's out there, baby, the one with the gold D's.
Let's shake, rattle and roll.
Please, I would never mess with nobody that works here.
We can work together, play together.
- It won't affect our performance. - That ain't nothing to do with it.
I don't want no nigga making less than me.
- Ain't that a bitch! - That's keeping it real real, ese.
That must be my ride.
Tell Mr. Wash I bounced.
He's single teamed, he's double teamed...
Oh, man, they've triple teamed Kobe!
Oh, shit!
God damn it, Kobe, pass the ball! Shit!
Shaq dives for it...
Calm down, Dee Loc.
What's wrong, nigga? You got the bubblies?
Fuck you!
I need to use your restroom.
Hold on, baby. Let me get this nigga out of there.
I told you about fuckin' with that roach coach.
Sean, hurry up!
My baby gotta use the bathroom.
Look out for your nephew one time.
All right.
I'm wrapping it up right now!
Can you, like, say, hurry up?
Please? Please?
You know what I'm saying?
Damn!
Please, please, please.
Come on, you holding my fave thing up.
Shit!
Sean!
Nigga, she don't want to come in here right now.
- Aww, shit! - They turned the damn water off.
God damn!
I'm calling the motherfuckin' landlord.
- They turned the water off. - You gotta be motherfuckin'joking.
I'll call this landlord and see what's happening.
Francis residence. May I help you?
This is your tenant from apartment .
Apartment .
- Dee Loc. - What may I help you with?
We're having technical difficulties with our water system.
- The shit ain't workin' no more. - Yes.
You gave us a three day notice, why the water ain't on?
Go and check and see if it's working now.
Hold on.
No, the shit ain't working.
Exactly.
Which means I can do what I want to with my water.
Hey, nigga, you ain't got to be acting like that.
I told you we gonna pay the motherfuckin' rent.
Yes, I do. You're running up my water bill and not paying rent.
- We gonna pay the rent. - When?
In two days, nigga.
In two days, you'll get your water back on.
Hello?
- Hello? - Forget about it.
- He's already hung up. - Bitch!
Baby, I got to pee.
- I don't care if it flushes or not. - Oh yes, you do.
You can't go in there. That shit's ugly.
I'm gonna bust a bag holding it for so long.
I'm sick of this shit. What are we gonna do about it?
We still got a couple of days, right?
I got my half of the rent right now.
Why don't you pay that shit since you're ballin' so tough?
"I look like ""Boo-boo the Fool""?"
- You said we got a couple of days. - Yeah.
We got a couple of days, then. Grab your shit.
We're going to your spot. Gonna get the shit cozy.
Look at them roaches, dog.
Oh, it's like that, huh?
Good morning, asshole.
Wanted to start your day by saying fuck you, asshole!
This prank's going too goddamn far!
Huh-uh.
He's a good worker.
The boy's got potential.
What the--
What the hell? I know damn well.
You know what irritates me the most?
What?
Somebody standing over my shoulder when I'm trying to work.
Sean! Sean!
I need to see you in my office.
- Hey, Loc? - What are you saying?
"Ain't that one of your ""thizzles""?"
I gotta talk this bitch up.
If she doesn't thizzle, I'll be right bizzle.
Handle that while I handle that.
What are you doin' coming here? Trying to get me in trouble?
- I want some, baby. - You had some last night.
That was then, and this is now.
All right, get out. I got somewhere we can roll to.
Shit!
You gonna get me in trouble, looking all good like this.
Whoo!
Yes, sir. You know who that is?
You know what that is?
Look at that.
- What the-- - Stealing.
That's right.
I'll run it again for you.
I'll run it again for you.
Uh-uh.
Stealing.
Stealing!
I got nothing against your boy, but nobody's stealing from me!
Maybe these automatic brushes ain't a bad idea after all.
They don't steal.
You thinking about getting those brushes installed?
Oh yeah.
- Can you believe that? - Would make things run smoother.
I'm gonna put this one on you.
You decide whether he stays or goes.
Second day on the job, and you're making corporate decisions.
Go make me proud of you, son.
Oh, Loc must be gettin' on the girl!
I know what I'd be doing. I'd be...
Yeah, jacking off on your boss.
What?!
Rape!!
Mamma!
- He gonna hurt me! - Is that all you do is play?
Where's Dee Loc?
I haven't seen him, boss.
Look, man, I'm serious. Mr. Washington's looking for him.
Oh shit! Baby, we should split up.
- And we'll meet back here! - I'll check around back.
Exclusive, think--
How you doin'?
- Fuck you! - Right!
- Right. Cool. - Jimmy. Listen to me.
- What's happening? - I want the special.
I want the tutti-frutti rooty-tooty special.
- Tutti-- - I want the tires done.
I want the Armour All. I want the wax. Got that?
- All right. - I got something for you...
What the fuck?!
You gotta get me out. Fucking get me out of here.
I fucked this guy's sister. Please!
- I didn't mean to fuck her. - No, I can't help.
- Bitch! - Got that? Hey!
- What the-- get the fuck out of here. - I ain't seen nothing.
You, you stuttering rat bastard.
Soprano! Soprano!
I got you a fuckin' Soprano, you fruitcake!
Dee!
Oh, shit, Dee Loc.
Shit!
Yeah.
Yeah, baby.
Come on.
- Right in there? - Yeah.
Oh, that's my spot.
Yeah, Dee Loc, come on.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah.
Damn!
Dee, is that you?
Come on.
- Ooh, shit! - Dee!
- I'm coming, nigga! - Oh, shit!
Dog, you trippin'.
I'm coming, dog!
Ooh, shit!
Dee!
Ah, shit!
I'm comin', nigga.
What, nigga? You see what I got crackin'?
We need to talk.
About what?
Oh, don't tell me. You got your haIf of the rent?
Why you try to clown me? I ain't got a check.
And put that shit out before Mr. Washington comes.
- He's already pissed off at you. - What is he pissed offfor?
- It's worse than you think. - Worse than I think?
Stall me out with that mystery shit and tell me what's poppin'.
Okay, look...
boss man got you on tape stealing supplies.
- And he sent me to fire your ass. - Fire me?
Who the fuck is you? The car wash detective?
"Get the fuck out of my face, ""Crowjack."""
Whatever. Like I said, boss man got you on tape stealing.
And he left it up to me whether or not you stay.
So what's your decision, boss?
I guess you can stay...
for now.
Ain't that a bitch?
You finished? What's the problem, Loc?
Can you believe this motherfuckin' Sean threatened to fire me?
- Who the fuck he think he is?! - That's your homie, boss.
- I mean, your boss, homie. - Kick back with that bullshit.
I'm in no mood to play.
"Loc, if I were you, I'd ""bam""!"
"I'd ""bim""! Sleep."
Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna take a smoke break.
Hey, Jimmy!
- What's up? - Check this out. Look at this nigga.
Can't believe this motherfucker let his job go to his head.
And I'm the one who put him on.
Mr. Washington is thinking about getting those new brushes.
Oh yeah?
That electric shit.
- Khakis all kicked up his ass! - They probably a thong.
You talking about them brushes like they cool.
But if he gets the brushes, I'm fired,
'cause that's what I do.
It is what it is.
Can't believe this nigga. Bitches, man.
- Let's go smoke some. - Hey, might as well start.
Motherfucker Sean thinks he got a real job, huh?
I don't blame him for being pissed, though.
That nigger also blow bullshit.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
This shit is poppin' now.
- I'm taking the rest of the day off. - What about your boy Sean?
Fuck that nigga. He can't even pay his haIf of the rent.
Oh, broke ass nigga!
You the fool. I'm high as fuck.
You know when yes means yes
You can stand by your word 'cause your word is your balls
Lose one, you're losing them all
All hell or alcohol
'Cause it's my turn now...
Whoa, whoa, what the fuck you doin'?
Is that Windex? You putting Windex on my tires?
- That's just a little something. - Does that look that a window?
- No, that ain't a window. - Can you see though this?
- You insulting my intelligence? - Yeah.
- You don't put Windex on tires. - I'm a professional.
- Get your manager right now. - Whoa, what's the problem?
- Are you the manager? - Yeah.
- Are you the manager? - I am.
Mighty Mouse put some Windex on my fucking tires.
You're putting Windex on tires again?
- I thought he was a professional. - That's what I do.
Let me handle this. Give me a minute.
- Yeah, go ahead, man. - I'm a professional. You lucky.
Let's straighten out everything. I'm sorry about that.
Let's straighten this out.
- All right. - There you go.
- A free car wash? - Yeah, anytime you need.
I don't want no fucking free car wash.
I need my money back.
You'd need to give me three or four of these.
- What the fuck is this? - I got it for you.
If you're gonna be a dick about it, take your ass up the street!
Fuck you, old trout-mouthed ass nigga.
What you doing? Shouldn't you be down there getting wet?
Having a cigarette break.
Cuz, I'm about to ride on this nigga. I'll holler back at you.
Hey, Dee!
- Need to holler at ya. - Hey, y'all,
I gotta go to a dentist appointment.
Dee!
Dee!
Do come again.
Excuse me. Do you know who cleaned my car?
What? It wasn't me. I ain't took shit.
Did I say you took anything?
- You must have did it. - Check this out, homegirl.
If I'm gonna take something, it's gonna be real.
Ain't gonna be no few punk ass dollars.
First of all, I didn't even tell you what was taken.
And I wouldn't give a damn if it was a dime.
- It's still mine. - Don't be coming at me like that.
- You don't know me. - Okay, so you bad now?
- Yeah. - Okay.
You're right, I don't know you. And you don't know me.
Look, here. Here, here.
Nothing but a few punk-ass dollars.
Put that back in your pocket.
- I'm straight. - What?
I'm trying to give you back your money.
Know what I'm saying?
Hey!
The Hawks get the opening tip to start the game.
It's knocked away. Stolen.
There's the entry pass to the paint.
Shit!
Finally some peace and quiet.
Damn!
Gotta get that goddamn boot off my car.
Shit!
Shit!
Westside Radio in your earhole. Julio G. right here.
Across from me, DJ Jam. It's the
Jam, drop the beat for me, homeboy!
That is my song, girl!
Right there! I have to turn that up.
Oh, man, this motherfucker!
Can you turn it down some?
Dee!
Would you turn it down some?
Look, I've been at work all day! And I'm tired.
I'm trying to relax. Won't you turn it down some?
Nigga, if you're trying to relax,
take your bitch ass to the Snooty Fox.
This the spot, motherfucker.
- And get the fuck out of my face. - Who the fuck you talking to?
Holy shit, I can't believe this nigga...
Nigga, what you wanna do?!
You know what? You need to quit it with that tough guy act.
This ain't no act, I'm serious with this.
- You trippin', homeboy. - Nigga,
just give me my fucking half of the rent.
Anyway, we don't need him to have a good time.
Come on baby. Sit down.
Nigga, I'm Dee Loc.
I pay the cost to be the boss.
- Punk motherfucker! - That's right, baby.
When motherfuckers be all in your ear and shit
Know what I'm saying?
Or that naggin' bitch
Just likes to hear herseIf talk
Going on your highway
That's some fucked-up shit
But it happens
Know what I'm saying...?
How many of you got it?
How many motherfuckers can say they're psychotic?
How many motherfuckers can say their brain dry-rotted from pot?
You got it like I got it or not?
Car's ready!
Juan, see you in a minute, cuz.
There are some stank ho's in these videos!
They're all right to me. They look cool.
You know what? It's almost time for me to go.
All right. Thanks for the ride.
I was about to say the same thing.
You crazy boy, get out of here.
- I'm gonna holler at you tomorrow. - Okay.
- Okay? - All right.
Mark?
You got a few dollars I can borrow to get something from the mall?
You ask like you're asking for something off the ice cream truck.
But you're my boo. I do anything for my boo.
See what we got in here. Whap-- whap-- whap--
all day, all you need. Here you go, how does that look?
- I can make it work. - Make it work, make it work.
... -- Sir, do you mind leaving?
- You talking to me? - No, I'm talking to you.
- I'm with my baby. - I don't give a fuck!
Bounce your ass out of here in that rubber suit!
- All right. - With your punk ass!
The police's probably gonna arrest you...
for attempted leather!
You know what? This don't make no kind of sense.
I know I counted at least cars before I checked the tickets.
Send Sean in as soon as he gets here.
Must think I'm crazy.
Trying to make a decent dollar around here.
So I take the bitch over and I do my thing.
You know it is. When I get home--
- How you all doin'? - Like I said, when I get home,
there's another bitch waiting on the nigga,
so I got to fuck two ho's in one night...
Mr. Wash want to see you.
Thanks. And how are you this morning?
Die, you mother! Oh shit!
Got your monkey ass!
- Who is it? - It's me, Sean, Mr. Wash.
Come on in.
Die! Damn!
Damn near had a high score on that one.
Go ahead and have a seat.
Yes, sir.
Now, today's topic is...
sales.
Case in point...
Yesterday, I know I saw two to three hundred cars come through here.
But my bottom line ain't reflecting that.
So what does that tell me?
- You're laying me off? - Tells me,
- I need to work on my showmanship. - Yeah, right... showmanship.
Something to pick up the business around, keep the business in here.
Keep people hanging around.
You know, showmanship.
Umm, showmanship.
Yeah.
What if--
- Naw, naw, that's crazy. - No, no, say it, son.
- Say what's on your mind. - Well...
I was thinking...
What if we had a bikini wash?
A bikini wash?
Like those Budweiser girls they put in boxing rings.
- What they gonna do? - We dress them up in bikinis,
have them vacuuming and washing cars.
Mmmm.
Mmmhh.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I can see it now. Yeah.
Yeah, oh...
- Mr. Washington. - Mmmhh.
Mr. Wash.
- The phone? - Oh yeah.
- Hello? - Do you want to fuck with me?!
Watch your back, asshole. Payback's a motherfucker!
Is everything all right?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
- Can you get them to start today? - Who?
- The girls, son! - Oh, the girls...
I can get a couple up here, for starters.
To see how it works out. Just a test run.
To see how you like it. And that way...
you don't have to pay the full minimum wage.
There you go.
I knew there was something I liked about you.
Already saving me money. Up in here.
Up in here.
Go on, boy.
Oh, okay. I'll go handle that.
I'm on it.
He ain't haIf bad after all.
I think he's gonna work out.
Can you believe this shit?
If Mr. Wash fell for this, he'll go for anything.
I ain't mad at him for tryin'.
Look at you, man. Get off his nuts!
Whether I'm on his nuts or not,
he put a smile on my face. I love white bitches.
They should have let me hook this shit up.
You know how I'd do...
Y'all don't know me at all
I say the same thing but slower than y'all
A little Southern charm to top it off
- Okey-dokey, spit, boy
Y'all don't know me at all
I say the same thing but slower than y'all
A little Southern charm to top it off
Okey-dokey...
Y'all don't know me at all
I say the same thing but slower than y'all
A little Southern charm to top it off
Okey-dokey.
Hey, motherfucker!
I can't swim! I can't swim!
- Cool off, man! - Yeah, I did it!
Y'alI can help me wash the cars!
I'm gonna fuck your big ass up one day
for fucking with grown folks, nigga!
This black-on-black violence has got to stop!
Shut the fuck up!
Cuz, this is one of them wimps.
Hell, yes.
Computerized voice
Oh, shit.
Five.
Five.
Five.
Three.
Seven.
Five.
- Fo'. - Again.
Fo'.
Again.
Like a Cadillac Humvee
Took you everywhere...
One of the baddest I've seen
I've come to think baby girl's with me
She was, like, watching my team
That was her thing
She was my girl...
Ain't gonna let nobody come between her and me
She was my heart
She's my life
She's my girl
I'm so addicted to
Her love
She's my need
I'm her thing
She's my girl
I'm so addicted to
Her love
She was like ice on my wrist
No matter what the time, my baby girl was shining...
- Fo'. - Again.
I see you locked yourseIf out.
I see you're very observant.
Especially when a lady as fine as yourseIf is in my presence.
Look at the boss man over there.
He ain't supposed to be fraternizing with the customers.
You been fuckin' in the bathroom, I know you ain't talkin'.
- Fo'! - Again, fool!
We're sorry--
This shit ain't for no real.
- So what's your name? - My name is Michelle.
What's yours?
Sean.
Should go sweat his ass, like he'd be sweating all of us.
- There you go, Michelle. - Hey, that was fast.
I'd have thought you worked here.
Girl, you crazy.
It ain't my fault. Your machine ate the tape up.
So, why ain't your man washing your pretty car for you?
I'm single at the moment.
Plus I'm in school, so you know...
I don't have time to keep up with no man.
- What about you? - What about what?
- Are you seeing anyone? - Naw...
How about I take all that? Now what's up, player?
I don't need to see that tape no more.
- You can't do that. - Back off!
After work, I don't have much time.
I know what you mean.
- Last time, leave me alone! - Come back!
So what do you do?
- Listen. - Don't you touch me.
What do I do?
Yeah, what kind of work are you in?
You know what? Can you excuse me one minute?
Sure.
You fucked the tape up with the screwdriver.
I don't sell defective shit.
You sold me a cassette with a crooked cover,
and Puffy got two F's in it. It only had one!
Whoa, whoa... hold up. Take that shit off the line.
These people have a lot going on around here.
But you're so helpful.
They might as well put you on payroll.
You gotjokes, huh?
Naw, I'm cool with the job I'm at now.
And what do you do again?
I sell insurance.
Hey, whatever pays the rent, right?
Right.
So... anyway...
I got to get back to work and...
looks like your truck is ready.
Where's your car?
It's getting detailed, so it's probably gonna take a minute.
But, uh... would I be doing too much if I asked for your number?
- I guess that would be okay. - All right.
- I'll give you a call, all right? - All right.
- All right, now. - Bye.
Yeah.
So it's cool for you to bust a bitch on the job, huh, boss?
Man, get your ass back to work.
Fuck this shit, bitch. House nigga.
Get up off of me. Trying to be cool and stuff.
My bad, dog.
Hey, excuse me, but you're blocking my entrance,
and my customers can't get in and out, so...
- y'alI have to move. - You better raise up, fool.
Whoa! It's cool. Y'all do your thing.
Hit that shit, nigga! Hit that shit!
Hey, man, make the call.
Mr. Wash!
I guess your flunky came in
to tell you about your problem.
- What problem? - The problem you gonna have
if you don't start kickin' the hood in. You already losing business.
How am I losin'--
What the hell?!
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
There's some niggas-- I mean some guys blocking the entrance.
Why didn't you tell them to move?!
Hell, that ain't no problem.
I can handle this, shit!
Cars don't stop bullets. Move out of the way!
Come on!
Hit that shit! Yeah! Yeah, my nigga!
Hit that! Hit that!, my nigga!
- What's wrong? Hit the shit. - They broke, man.
Get the hell off my property! Move it!
- Punk ass! - You done broke the shit.
- Shut up! - Just look cool.
Man, I got it.
The nerve of them young punks, calling and threatening me.
I wish they would call here again.
Hello?
Don't forget about what I said.
You son of a bitch!
Where's Dewayne when you need him?!
I'm going to lunch.
- So what you need, dog? - Give me that funky stuff.
I got three for up here right now.
- What you givin' me for $ ? - I give you six for $ .
Dee Loc is the name. Chronic smoke is the game.
I'm at The Wash and more.
Motherfucker!
That's that real shit, sticky, icky icky.
Good lookin', baby.
Chill out on the weed sales out in the open like that.
- Damn! - Oh yeah?
Chill out, huh?
- You're from the East coast now? - Kill that shit.
For real, dog. Do that shit on the low.
You're doin' too much, cuz. Get the fuck up out of mines.
He's in somebody else's business.
Loc's lettin' him have it!
- I got this shit way under control. - Get your paper, cuz.
In case you forgot, I've been getting my hustle on
long before you became assistant manager.
How the fuck you think I'm able to pay my haIf and yours?
Sure ain't from the checks I've been getting from up in here.
So what you need to go do is holler at Mr. Wash
and get an advance, cause I need chippers .
I'm trying to keep you from gettin' fired.
- You can't fire me! - I can do nothin' with you.
What you need to do is go get me my chips!
- With dip! - Here he comes.
Cause you delinquent! Motherfucker!
Tryin' to knock my hustle, nigga!
You give me $ you give me your $
- I sell both of these these sacks-- - Hey, Dee!
Like I said, cuz, I'm up here all day, everyday.
Come see me. Get your money right.
- Let me get that sack. - Get on out of here.
Hey!
- I remember you. - Oh, so you do remember me now.
Yeah.
But I bet you don't remember my brother.
But we ain't never been introduced.
Yo, yo, yo, don't...
Let me explain. See, there's been a big, big--
Hey! Wake up!
What happened to you?
Did you get knocked the fuck out?
You've seen this guy?
Huh, no?
So Chris has not been here since then?
I don't know where these kids go once they get fired.
Are you saying you don't know his whereabouts?
I'm saying what I just said. I cut his ass loose. You feel me?
Excuse me.
- Hello? - Hi, Mr. Washington.
What should I shoot out first,
the windows or the doors?
That's gonna look so good on you.
Asshole!!
I can't have you here making it look like something happened.
If I hear anything, I keep it to myself.
Can you allow me to run this place of biz?
I understand what you're saying, but this kid's in trouble.
- He's also armed and dangerous. - So am I, Mr. Officer.
So am I.
Have a nice day, gentlemen.
And this too shall pass.
Amen!
There they go!
Let me see your hands!
Step out of the car with your hands in the air!
What the fuck is going on, man? What?!
Hey, what the fuck, man?!
Come on, man! God damn!
- Hey, those are my nuts, man! - Got your ass now, huh?
We ain't did nothing. What the fuck's going on?
You look like one of them Crips.
- Or is you a Blood? - Man, I don't gang bang, homie.
Is that right? It don't matter.
- We got you for possession anyway. - Possession?
I got nothing but some weed, that's it.
- This don't look like weed to me. - That ain't my shit.
It is now.
How the fuck you gonna place dope on me?
Cause I can. I'm the L-A-P-D!
- I thought we was homeboys. - Nigga, what?
I'll blow your motherfuckin' head off!
Motherfucker!
Have some champagne.
It's the good stuff.
Indeed. Nothing but the best.
- You spilled a little. - Come here.
I always wanted to try this.
It's just my roommate.
Damn!
Excuse me one minute, all right?
Yeah.
- Is that better? - Yeah, it's fine.
Is everything okay?
Yeah. Everything's fine.
Excuse me one minute. I'll take care of it.
Dee!
Turn it down some.
Why you keep playing this bullshit?
Turn it down!
Dee!
What, cuz?
I try to chill out with my date and you're fucking the mood up!
I don't give a fuck about you or your date.
"This ain't ""The Dating Game""!"
This is the motherfuckin' spot, nigga.
Good looking now, dog. That's all I was saying.
Look, I can just come back another time.
No, no, we can't do that.
We can't let one idiot spoil it for us.
- Right. - I'm havin' a good time.
- You're having a good time? - Yeah. It's fun.
So, umm...
now...
where were we?
- Hmmm... damn, baby! - Mmmm, just like that.
Smelling good, looking good.
The champagne's got me feelin' good.
Mmmm. I'm glad your roommate shut up.
I told you everything would be all right.
You gonna let me see it?
Hey!
Where the weed at, Sean? Excuse me.
Let me cut some light on.
Sean, who this? Anyway, I'm Diane.
Oh!
Oh!
You got the champagne crackin' tonight!
Oh, damn! All I got was beer. A measly-ass !
Looky here, looky here! Candles burning,
roses... a fireplace.
Vickey, I say it's looking a little freaky up in here.
- Uh-uh. - What the fuck y'all doin'?
"Shooting a ""prono""?"
You know what? Dee Loc told me
now that he got you thatjob at The Wash--
you be acting all funny style and shit.
- What's up with that? - Insurance, huh?
Why did you lie to me?
You could've told me you worked at the car wash.
- Yeah, but-- - And I liked you.
I'm sick of dumbass men who don't know how to treat me.
Lose my number! Excuse me.
Gets to steppin'.
Fuck!
What the fuck y'all doing here anyway?
- That's what you get, nigga. - Hey babies,
Century Club is calling our names.
I know y'all ready to go get yours on.
- Yeah, baby. - Y'all go warm the coupe up.
- Bye, Sean. - Peace.
While you're here popping bottles of champagne,
make sure that rent money pop up tomorrow.
I left you some lotion in the room,
in case you feel the urge.
What the fuckjust happened?
Fuck!
Mr. Wash?
Mr. Washington?
C, I got yo Boss man...
Mr. Washington.
Me and the homies want da money fo' his ass.
No police, r-else.
"Wait for us to call y'all back."""
You can tell these fools didn't graduate!
- Did you check the video? - I didn't think about that.
Oh shit!
Oh damn!
It look like we have to call the police.
Didn't you read what the note said?
- We shouldn't do that. - What are we gonna do?
I don't know where he keeps his money.
Broke as he act, I wouldn't think he had any.
- We need to do something. - God damn!
Hey, yo, Mr. Wash?
We're in here, Dee.
What happened?
Windows and shit all busted? Mr. Wash ain't gonna appreciate
how his assistant manager did fucked up shit up here.
- He won't be in today. - Mr. Wash don't miss no paper.
- He gonna be up here. - He ain't gonna make it today.
C, I got yo Boss man.
All right, hold up, everybody!
Listen up!
I got some very bad news to tell you all.
Mr. Washington has been kidnapped.
And he's being held for ransom.
Wait, wait, wait! Hold up, hold up!
- This is serious. - Sean,
I'll put some on it when he gives me a raise!
Antoinette
We may not get a next check if we don't do something.
We better do it fast.
I think the white man did it.
- Why is niggas so dumb? - Exactly!
What?!
I'm just agreeing with the homes here.
- You guys are funny. - Enough with that bullshit.
This ain't got shit to do with no white motherfuckers.
Oh, shit! Wait a minute!
Remember those fools up here yesterday blocking the entrance?
That's right, Sherlock's homeboy.
I'd bet you a fat sack they got Mr. Washington somewhere,
whipping his motherfuckin' ass.
No! No!
You let him do that to you, son?
- Shut the fuck up! - You shut the fuck up!
- You shut the fuck up! - You shut the fuck up!
Nobody asked for no cheerleaders.
What the fuck you doin' talkin'?
Looks like somebody...
You stupid--
That'll hold your ass. How you like that?
You just worry about him gettin' our cheese.
Hey... did you call The Wash yet?
Hold on, let me handle some business.
- What's the number over there? - Mmph, mmph, mmph...
mmph, mmph, mmph, mmph.
Mmph, mmph, mmph, mmph!
I'm gonna kick your ass!
Look here.
Them niggas gonna call, cause they need that paper.
Just like you need to get that paper.
You do what you do. Let me do what I do.
- I got this. - All right, y'all.
Y'all gonna leave like that, huh?
- Yep! - Fuck y'all, then!
- What's going on around here? - Nothing.
Put that shit out and get your feet off the desk!
Damn, man! Nigga can't do shit up here!
I'll charge that to your ignorance and forget about it.
Where's my uncle?
I don't know how else to tell you this but--
"- Mr. Washington got kidnapped. - What do you mean, ""kidnapped""?"
You know, when you've been moved
more than feet beyond your free will...
- Penal Code . - I know my codes, man.
Think it was them fools from the neighborhood.
Probably killed his old ass by now.
- What do you mean-- killed?! - Unh-unh.
Come on, fellas. It's all about the money.
They ain't stupid enough to hurt the man!
You're out of your goddamn mind!
That's gonna happen every time until they answer the phone!
You punk!
What you jumpin' for? Come here.
- What? - The fuck you jumpin' for?
- I ain'tjumped! - You did jump!
What you scared of? He can't do shit to us!
His ass all tied up and shit in here.
- Quit acting so damn scared! - I ain't scared of nothin'!
Act like it.
I haven't heard the phone ring all day.
You know what I forgot to do?
- What? - Y'all gonna kill me!
- What? - Transfer the phones.
- What the fuck?! - Sorry!
Transfer the shit! They could've called times!
- Fuck! - Hey, hey!
- Everybody calm down! - I am.
Let's not start losing it.
Brenda L. Green?
Y'all go kick back. Back up!
I got this shit, man.
- Hello? - Hello.
Hello?
This is the motherfuckin' kidnappers and we want the money!
- How much we talkin' about? - You read the damn note.
Cut the chit-chat and tell him how much we want.
Wait. Hold on.
- How much do we want? - cents, fool.
We want cents, fool.
Wait. Hold on.
cents? Is that all this is about?
Two punk-ass motherfuckin' quarters?!
$ . Use your fuckin' brain!
Hello? Uh...
uh...
Yeah... Wait. Hold on.
Take me off the speaker phone, you makin' me nervous.
Yeah, we want $ in all fresh crisp twenties.
Hundreds, fool!
I mean, hundreds, fool! C-notes.
- Stupid motherfuckers. - You know what?
Tell them to hold on a second.
Wait, hold on a second. What?!
- Your mom got caller ID block? - No, why?
Stupid motherfuckers!
Hang up.
Let me call you right back.
- What happened? - Theyjust hung up.
- Now what we gonna do? - You think they got caller ID?
- I hope not. - I fucked up, huh?
They must have realized they didn't block the caller ID.
They'll call back with the block.
There they go.
See? The number's gone now.
These guys aren't too smart.
Let me call one of my partners at LAPD and get some info.
What's the number to ?
I'll call it in.
One item ...
- Shit. - Enough of this bullshit.
Let me answer the phone.
- Hello? - Hello?
Yeah, this is the kidnappers again.
- Me and Face-- - You just said my name!
- Them niggas is ignorant. - What, you Destiny's Child?
Nobody said your motherfuckin' name.
Let me take care of this business.
Hello?
They got to be the stupidest motherfuckers.
Yeah, look, sorry about that.
This is the kidnappers again--
Stop saying that shit over the phone! Damn!
I can't say shit, can I?
Chill out, man.
It's messed up, what happened to Mr. Wash.
Bust it!
Yeah, Mr. Wash, oh, gosh...
Super Cops Security request. Copy.
Hey, hey, hey!
You need to go to work like it's a regular day!
It is a regular day.
Tuck in your belly, nigga.
We want the motherfuckin' money. You want to see him again?
Yeah, but how do we know you got him and he's still alive?
Listen to this.
- Ow! - Damn!
I'm gonna kick your ass!
Hello? Look.
I'lI see you at closing time with all the money.
All of it! And no police.
You stupid!
I got some information.
These calls are coming in from an address a few blocks away.
Cool. Now we need to put a plan together.
Why? If we have the address, let's go get him.
It's not that easy, baby girl.
This is the kind of matter you have to handle delicately.
"What do you mean, ""Let's go get him""?"
We ain't talking about that kind of delicate.
We don't need no women in the way--
Hold on, hold on,
you might be speaking a little too soon.
That may be just what we need.
I'm gonna just chill.
Parley that shit off into the stock market.
What was that?
Calm down. Nobody's out there.
- You sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
Get away from the damn door!
Your mom ain't back from Vegas yet.
Go check on the old man.
- You want something to drink? - I want some water!
- You won't get away with this! - Shut up, man!
I asked if you wanted some water.
You don't want to do no years over a couple of dollars!
I can see it now.
Inmate Slim hobbling through the yard with his cane,
on his way to the commissary to get some vaseline.
Vaseline?
Your boy can't get you out of that!
Hey!
What's all the chit-chat about?
I asked if he wanted something to drink.
Put the gag back on him!
Don't put that thing--
- All right. - Get out of here.
I was gonna get you something to drink.
- I guess you fucked that up. - Damn!
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, I see it. Looks like they have some company.
We should head back and see what Dee Loc got planned.
What's the story with you two? Y'all fuckin'?
Man, fuck you, fat boy.
- Shut the fuck up and drive. - Whatever, man.
And Vickey, you show them some ass.
- All right, baby. - Excuse me,
you could have got me to do that.
What you tryin' to say? I ain't fine enough?
I ain't got enough ass? What is it?
Quit trippin'. They know your broke ass work with us.
Yeah, you're right.
This is the plan
call over there and ask to speak to the man or woman of the house.
Jermaine Dupri got the shit, huh?
As soon as our money comes, bam--
"- I'm on ""Dub"" too. - I'm gonna get that one."
Hey.
Get the phone. That might be my woman.
Get the phone. That might be my woman.
And if it ain't her, I ain't even here.
- Hello? - Hey...
Hi. Is the man or woman of the house in?
- Who is this? - My name is Miss Jordan,
- from the Census Bureau. - They're not here.
- You want to leave a message? - Maybe you can help me.
- All right. Shoot. - First, can you tell me--
how many people are up in the house?
Right now, it's me-- I'm Slim.
Face, Trae D.,
- Dog, Mr.-- - Who you talkin' to?
Homie, I ain't here. Don't be sayin' I'm here like that.
Excuse me, can you hold on? I'll be right back.
You mind shutting the fuck up?
This is the people from the Census Bureau.
- What?! - The Census Bureau.
What?!
About the census shit for the hood.
We don't need no census in the hood.
Just a way to keep us lost in the system.
Hang up the damn phone.
Didn't he tell you to hang up the phone?
Are we gonna get this cheese?
Hello? Can you call me back later?
- Wait-- can-- - Bye.
- Ready to get this paper? - Waiting on you.
Let's roll!
Naw, naw, naw!
You chill.
You stay right here. We're gonna go get this paper.
Don't answer that phone or the door for nobody.
- Nobody. - No-bo-dy!
Nobody.
You all be careful.
Peace.
- Did it work? - Yeah,
it's four of them now. They're on their way for the money.
Cool. Let's execute.
I'll be around the corner till you give me my cue.
Ladies, let's go handle this pimpin'.
After y'all.
All right, y'all.
- Good luck. - We won't need it.
We'll try this one more time.
This time, no talkin'. Just drinking.
You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?
Are you stupid? Don't you see I'm tied up?
Oh, oh... My bad.
All right.
That's mighty white of you. What your mama gonna say
when she sees you in the penitentiary?
Don't start with me with that shit.
It ain't too late. If you let me go,
I promise I won't kick your ass.
You better get real quiet.
Sit still, all right?
Shit! Hello?
Hey, how you doing?
- Need some help? - Yeah.
My car won't start. You gotjumper cables?
Yeah. You know what? My buddy left with my car.
Could I come in and use your restroom?
- I been holdin' it for miles. - Yeah, come on.
- Can I use your phone to call AAA? - Yeah, you can use the phone.
- Thanks. - Come on.
You know what?
Let me get my drawers out of the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
I'm going in to get the cheese before I put this jack down.
Hold on, Face.
Don't you want to at least take the heat?
Yeah, you right.
God damn!
Don't be no hero.
I bet you've come for the money.
Yeah, that's right.
And I got somebody standing by to blow your boss' head off.
Yo, get in here. One of the damn kidnappers
is with Sean, and he's got a gun!
Look here. You better be real quiet right now.
I done been real nice to your old ass.
All right. Don't make me get ugly.
- You hear me? - It's too late.
It ain't my fault you took after your mama.
You gotjokes, huh?
Be quiet. I got some company.
Here you go, the phone.
Right there. I'll show you the restroom.
- There you go. - Thank you.
No problem.
Could I have a little privacy, please?
- Oh, oh... my bad. - It's okay. You know what?
My girlfriend's outside. Can you check on her?
- Okay. - Thank you.
Don't answer the door. He must be crazy!
Ooh, shit!
What's wrong with this thing?
This stupid old thing. Is she calling AAA?
Yeah, she's calling right now.
- My name is Sprinkle. - How you doin'?
We sure do appreciate your help.
You should let me sprinkle you sometime.
What's that?
It's a little dance I do for fun...
and maybe for rent.
Which way you gonna do it for me?
Vickey, Goddamn it! Quit playing, girl.
- You called Dewayne? - Yeah.
- Where he at? - I don't know.
- I think it's that one. - Come on.
Hey, here he is. In here!
Watch the door.
Make sure that fool don't come in here.
Watch out! That fool got a gun!
I got to go. I forgot about something.
- I'll be back. - She's all right. Look at this.
Dee Loc, out of all people!
I'm so happy to see you! Who's on the register?
Fuck the register.
- I gotta make sure she's cool. - Check this out!
Hurry up!
Be right back.
I'll be right back.
Mr. Wash, Vickey.
Come on! Come on!
Look what you done done!
You didn't have to kill that nigga.
- He was hospitable. - I ain't killed that nigga.
The gun went off when I hit him on the head.
Tie his ass up.
Fuck this nigga! Let's roll.
Officer Dewayne. I need backup on transport.
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
- What's up with the cheese? - Patience, my man.
- It's just a short way. - I ain't got time.
If it ain't in my hand in two minutes, I'll make the call.
Hey, Trae D. Police!
- Goddamn. - Nigga, thems is rent-a-cops.
What the fuck?
- That ain't no rent-a-cop, though. - Oh shit!
Drop the gun outta the window!
Drop your fucking gun out of the window!
What you lookin' at?
Nothing, man. Damn.
I'll pop your ass out right now.
I just saw your money come in,
and I got excited, that's all.
- I'll go get it for you. - No, homie. We go together.
I told you to watch your back, motherfucker!
What--
- What are you doing, Chris? - Getting some revenge!
You can't fire motherfuckers and get away with it!
You young motherfuckers are crazy these days.
- Chris, you trippin', dog. - No, you're tripping!
There's some real shit gonna crack around here.
It's about to crack!
Shit!
Get the fuck off!
Get the fuck off me!
The motherfucker who took myjob!
Chris, I can't let you smoke my homeboy like that.
This is how co-workers end up gettin' popped!
My beef ain't with you, Dee.
It's with this motherfucker.
Security, motherfucker. Drop the gun.
It's all over now.
Don't get your head blow off doin' nothin' stupid!
Greatjob, Robocop!
Fuck!
Man on radio
with extra mayo, double cheese
and a small diet cola?
That's a big - .
My nigga. Let me holler at you.
Check this out.
I just wanted myjob. Just wanted myjob!!
Not tonight.
I know I got a check comin'.
I really want to pay my haIf of the rent,
but I got to take care of some things.
I got to get that boot off my car.
That shit's embarrassing.
As the wheels turn city to city
chronic spoke, chronic smoke
Them niggas still trippin' on that old shit
It's a whole 'nother day
Nigga, can you feel this?
The Wash
The Wash
The Wash.
Who is it?
- You're needed on set right now. - Be out there in about .
Super ugly
Put your cups up, get your smoke in
Baby, we partying
Ain't nobody lookin'
Who you provokin'? What you want now?
Take a look around
There's pimp shit going down
There's a lot of bitches, whole lot offreaks
Top notch ho's, they flock here every week
What you wanna do?
Get your next thrill?
Take a X pill
How the sex feel?
Damn, you're lookin' good
All of ya
Wanna roll?
I'm diggin y'all
Keep your face down, keep your ass up
You know what you doin', keep that shit movin'
Keep them titties jumpin'
Keep that kitty comin'
Every bitch in here needs to be touchin' somethin'
I know they like it hot
That's why I keep it hot
So how the fuck they not want a piece of Doc?
I don't give a fuck 'cause I'm just drinkin', smokin'
Straight West Coastin'
Bitches puttin' ass in motion
Pussy talkin', sex promotin'
- Got a cup? - Raise it up
- Got a blunt? - Raise it up
That's your bitch? I don't give a fuck
All I really know
Is your 'ho wants to be with me
And she ain't playin'
She creeps with me
And sleeps between the sheets.
Cut!
Cut! Cut! That's a cut!
Check the gate. If the gate's good, that's a wrap.
- What y'all gettin' into? - You know what we doin'.
Bad Intentions, baby.
All right, Knoc-turn'al. Peace, baby.
Can you play that back for me?
Good evening.
And welcome to Bad Intentions.
What happens here, stays here.
Have a memorable evening.
Let's go.
Soon as the door close I make them curl toes
They all wanna get yours
We never love y'all
My nigga's all macks
We suffer a lot of your hit and never call back
Pack women in the club till it's pitch black
Dogs on the block wondering where their bitch at
What you think, nigga? She with the Aftermath
Call the house, she ain't home, she with Aftermath
No talkin', that's how a Dre date go
You want dick? Then, bitch, say so
Don't be shy now. Try your best at it
They say it ain't a party till the West's at it
Gravitate to the Doc like it's automatic
Take your clothes off, make me want to grab it
Turn around with it
Make me want to stab it
Time to get it crackin'
Show me them bad habits
I don't give a fuck
Cause I'm just drinkin', smokin'
Straight West Coastin'
Bitches puttin' ass in motion
Pussy talkin', sex promotin'
- Got a cup? - Raise it up
- Got a blunt? - Raise it up
That's your bitch? I don't give a fuck
All I really know
Is your 'ho wants to be with me
And she ain't playin'
She creeps with me
And sleeps between the sheets
When she's all alone she wants to be with me
What I'm sayin' is she ain't playin'
She creeps with me
And sleeps between the sheets
Yeah
Aftermath
Doc Dre
Five-star Surgeon General
Yeah
Knoc-turn'al, L.A. Confidential
Yeah
What up Tiffany? Mahogany droppin' the instrumental
Yeah
Do the math
Yeah.