Welcome To The Dollhouse Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Welcome To The Dollhouse script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Todd Solondz movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Welcome To The Dollhouse. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Welcome To The Dollhouse Script





Can I sit here?



If you feel like it.



Someone barfed there

fourth period.



Hi, Dawn.

Sorry to bother you.



But we were just wondering,

are you a lesbian?



- Well, are you?

- No.




She made a pass at me.



Lesbo, lesbo, lesbo



Lesbo, lesbo



Fag! You're a faggotl

Aren't you?



'"I'm a faggot."

Admit it. Say it.



You look beautiful

in this suit, Troy.



- Look, get over here.

- Where the hell you going?



You fuckin' faggot. You're a faggot,

aren't you, Troy-boy?



Aren't you?



Admit it. Say, "I'm a faggot."

Say it.



- Say it, faggot. Say it!

- Say it.



- I'm a faggot.

- Why don't you leave him alone?



Hey, guys, watch out.

It's the Wienerdog!



It's dogface.



You guys are such jerks.



What's the matter, ugly?

You like faggots?



Let's get out of here.

Her face is killing me.



Are you all right,




Leave me alone,




Hey, that didn't sound

too much like "'Satisfaction."



- Yeah, what's the matter, do you think?

- I don't know.



It says B-flat.

I'm just playing what it says.



Play me an "'A."



- This is bad.

- Yeah, we sound like shit.



- I knew this band was gonna suck.

- What does "suck" mean?



Missy, go play with Dawn.



We've just got to practice more.

Hell, it's our first time.



What do you think the Stones sounded

like the first time they practiced?






I'm gonna close the garage door

so we can get some privacy.



Let's take it from the top.



A one and a two

and a one, two, three, fourl



Toss-up quesfion:

Spell fhe word 'safellite. '






Correcf.    poinfs.



You're not supposed to drink

in the TV room.



- Drop dead, lesbo.

- Riverdale has    .



- London is locafed along which river?

- Mommy, Dawn called me "'lesbo."



- Hold on, Rita.

- The Thames.



Oh, Dawn!



Dawn, I want to speak

to you right now.









- What did you call your sister?

- She was bothering me!



I don't care what she was doing.

Now are you going to apologize?



- Apologize or you're punished.

- But Mom, she was bothering me!



- That's it! Go to your room!

- She's such a little bratl



I don't want to hear it!




- American Revolution.

- Thaf's correcf. You gof all    poinfs.




Whaf organism is...



I love her litfle profile.

Lef's go fo fhe phones.



- Hi, Missy. Is Dawn home?

- She can't play. She's punished.



- Mrs. Grissom?

- Yes, Dawn?



- Brandon's trying to copy my answers.

- You liel



You were too,

and you know it!






Dawn, Brandon,

you can see me here at  :  .



I'm giving you both detention.



Oh, hi.



You didn't come in here

to wash your hands.



Y-Yes, I did.



You came in here

to take a shit.



N-No. Really.

I don't have to go.



- My hands were dirty, that's all.

- Liar.



I can smell you from here.



- Please let me go.

- First...



take a shit.



- But I'll be late for Science.

- Well, you're not leaving until you do.



You know, Lolita, me and my neighbor

are starting this new club.



And if you want,

you can be vice president.



Fuck you.



And I really wasn't the one

who was cheating. I'm innocent.



I know.

You're always innocent.



- And Brandon's always guilty.

- But Brandon was...



You stay away from Brandon.

He's mine.



- Got it?

- Of course, but...



But shit.



Now, go on.



Leave it.

I want to make sure you shit.



I want to see it

with my own eyes.



Why do you hate me?



Because you're ugly.



M-Mrs. Grissom,

I'm finished.



Let me see.



Mrs. Grissom,

can I take a retest?



But I know I could have done better

if none of this had happened.



- I was nervous.

- I said no, Dawn!



But Mrs. Grissom, I really wasn't

the one who was cheating...



and if I could just

redo this test...



Just once.




- I'm better than a D-minus.

- Stop grade grubbing!



Don't you have any dignity?






I want you to write

a    -word essay...



on the subject of dignity

and hand it in to me by Friday.



You're excused.



She's got it so easy.



She'II always have it easy.



Maybe she'II die.



You don't know

what it's like.



- What?

- Junior high.



- Do you think anyone will join our club?

- I don't want anyone to join.



I want to be popular.



So I think I may have swung a pretty

good deal with Steve Rodgers today.



- I think we got him.

- Who's Steve Rodgers?



Steve Rodgers is only

one of the most popular guys in class.



We get him, we'll get invited

to play everywhere:



sweet sixteens, school dances,

maybe even a gig on the road.



- What does he play?

- Guitar, a little.



But mainly, he sings.

But that's not the point.



The point is, it's just exactly

what I needed for my college resume.



With this kind of extracurricular

activity, I'm gonna have it made.



Maybe not the Big Three,

but an Ivy at least.



Well, we'II have to see

about those SATs.



Mommy, could I join Mark's band?



- Oh, sweetheart.

- I'm serious.



And I think you should

send Dawn to a reformatory.



She's always bothering me.



Honey, you don't mean that.

Dawn loves you.



No matter what she does,

she's your sister.



Dawn, tell Missy that you're sorry

for bothering her and that you love her.



- I'm not sorry.

- Stop acting like a baby.



You're her older sister,

and Missy loves you.



- She does not.

- She does. Tell her you love her.



- I love you.

- You do not!



- I do too.

- You do not!



You are not leaving this table until

you tell your sister that you love her!



Go to bed.



...this stupid doll.



Sweet candy from a baby



I know you're Daddy's girl

buf if don'f worry me



Won'f you give me

some sweet candy



Well, Dawn is very musical.



Yeah. No, I know.

No, she's going.



I told her

she'll have a fabulous time.



What kid doesn't want

to go to Disney World?






- Yes.

- Lef's gef a liffle wild



Let's get a liffle crazy



Well, bump if up, sugar

Lef me in



You see, I know

you're Mama 's pearl



you're a pearl

from the ocean of fears



I'm gonna sfeal fhat pearl

when she don'f see



Won'f you give me some

sweef candy



Gonna take candy

from a baby



Sweet candy from a baby






Dignity is an important quality

everyone should have.



- Louder.

- That way, you will never grade grub.



- Grade grubbing is bad...

- I said, "Louder"I



because it means you're asking

for a grade you shouldn't get.



Because if you got it, it wouldn't be

fair to everyone who didn't grade grub.



We can't hear you!



It doesn't matter whether

you're a girl or a boy...



man or a child,

rich or poor, fat or thin.



You should never be

a grade grubber.



Therefore, dignity is a good quality

everyone should have."



Thank you.



I am here

to talk to you today...



about the dangers

of talking to strangers.



For l, Mary Ellen Moriarty...



once talked to strangers...



and that is how I became the innocent

victim of a brutal kidnapping.



Almost one year ago,

I was a carefree teenager...



memorizing my lines for Hello, Dolly...

I was supposed to play Dolly...



when one day...



a day that I will

never forget...



I was walking home

from rehearsal.



I'd missed my car pool.



And I was waiting at the street corner

for the light to change.



All of a sudden a dark car

pulled up beside me...



and a big man

stepped out.



He was older...



and good looking.



And, um...



And he had a tattoo

on his chest.



And then the next thing

I know, he, um...



Students, I'm telling you

this story...



Now what exactly

did you do, Dawn?



- I shot a spitball.

- Speak up. I can't hear you.



I shot a spitball.



- You shot a what?

- She shot a spitball.



- A teacher was almost blinded.

- I was fighting back.



Whoever told you

to fight back?



Dawn, are you having

social problems?



Yes. She's got no friends.



- I've got friends.

- Who?






Case closed.

She's a loner.



Dawn, let me put it to you straight.

We're not here to get you.



But you've got to understand,

you're in junior high now.



This goes in the computer

on your record.



Couple of years, this kind of incident

goes on your college transcript.



Any questions?



Were you playing

with my dolls?



How's it going?



How come you got here

so late?



I bon't know.

Am I late?



Well, never mind.

Come on in.



- Is that your Computer Science notebook?

- What?






- Are you Mark's sister?

- Yeah.



- You in junior high?

- Yeah.



- Ben Frank?

- Yeah.



You like it?



Yeah, Ben Frank's pretty bad.



- You went there too?

- Oh, yeah.



- I was almost expelled.

- Really?






- I hated it.

- Oh, God. Me too.



Well, don't worry.

It's only three years.









So did you get started

on the chapter?



It's real important to

focus on it if you want...



'Dear Mark, I thought long and hard...



over whaf we discussed at camp

and talked about it wifh my mofher.



She agrees with me: Sex is

an imporfanf thing to experimenf wifh...



before marriage, buf only if there is

a serious commitmenf on bofh ends.



This is my fhird letfer

fo you, and I'm going fo assume...



fhaf you do nof wanf

fo continue our relafionship...



if I do nof hear back

from you wifhin ten days.




Your (ex-?) girlfriend...



Naomi Hayes-Blaft.



P.S. I'm gefting hooked up

to E-mail for my birfhday.



I'll lef you know my address

as soon as if happens. '






- What are you doing?

- Computer Science.



Is Steve good

at Computer Science?



He's fair. He's definitely

in the bottom quarter of the class...



but he doesn't fail.



- Why do you think that is?

- Simple:



Because he's lazy.

All he thinks about is girls.



Do you think about girls?



Are you kidding?

I want to get into a good school.



My future's, like, important.



Besides, none of the girls at school

are that pretty anyway.



What about Maria Esposito?






- Steve went out with her once.

- Yeah, well, Steve is horny.






- How horny?

- He'd go out with anyone...



as long as it was a girl

and willing.



Willing to do what exactly?



Go all the way.



You mean, have intercourse?






Why? Are you in love

with him or something?



But, Mark, when you say

he'd go out with any girl...



as long as they're willing

to go all the way...



does that mean they

have to also be pretty?



You know Tammy Steinfeld,

from car pool?



- Yeah.

- Do you think she's pretty?



Not that pretty really.



Dawn, she's a dog,

and he did it with her.



Has he ever done it with anyone

younger than high school?



- You know Ginger Friedman?

- She used to be in my gym class.



Well, why not

ask her about Steve?



Be back in a second.

Don't move.



Um, Ginger?

Can I talk to you for a second?



It's about Steve Rodgers.



We gotta talk.



So what do you know about me and Steve?

First, tell me who told you I knew him.



- My brother.

- Who's your brother?



- Mark Wiener.

- Him? He's king of the nerds.



I know, but he told me you used

to go out with Steve. Is it true?



We fingerfucked.

Once, last spring.



That's it.

It's all over now.



What else?



Well, I was wondering

if I might have a chance...



if he wanted

to go steady with me?



- Not a chance.

- But...



Sorry, Dawn, but that's

just the way it is.



- You don't cut it.

- What if I wore something...



Dawn, look in the mirror.



We fingerfucked.

Once, last spring.



That's if.

It's all over now.



- What are you doing in there?

- None of your business!



- Is Mark around?

- No. My mom took him shopping.






He'll be back real soon,

I'm pretty sure.



If you want, you can

come inside and wait.



- You have anything to eat?

- Yeah. Follow me.



You like Yodels?



Yeah, sure.

What else you got?



Ring Dings, Pop-Tarts,

Hawaiian Punch.



Whatever you want. We've got

some leftovers too, in the fridge.



- Yeah? Like what?

- We've got some fish sticks.



All right.



- I know how to make Jell-O.

- Whatever.



You know,

I really like your music.



I'm pouring you some Hawaiian Punch.

Is that all right?



- Whatever.

- Here I come.



You're not hungry?



You know,

I play the piano.



Oh, yeah?




that's pretty good.



I could have kept going,

but I sprained my finger yesterday.



Yeah, well, you're still better

than Barry any day, that's for sure.



- You think so?

- Oh, yeah.



He ought to be

taking lessons from you.



Yeah, well, I don't think I have time

to give lessons to Barry...



but you want to see

my fingers?



Yeah, I see 'em.




I gotta get going.



Please wait.

Can I play it for you one more time?



This time with no mistakes.




- We're homel

- We're home!



Where were you?



Getting groceries

with my mom and sister.



- Do you know what time it is?

- Yeah.



Do you know what time

you told me to be here?



- What?

- I've been waiting a half an hour.



- What about the problems?

- We'll get to them now.



No, we won't.

I've been here...



Hear me.

You will fall in love with me.



You will make love to me.



You will take me away

from this place.



Love's a confusing thing



In my suburban home



I feel so alone



I walk through sferile rooms



There's voices in my head



Or coming from fhe phone



I got a blow-up doll

and she looks like you



Liftle girl



Well, fhe fwo of us

have made a special world



Liftle girl



So welcome to fhe dollhouse



- I gof if all set up for you

- I got it all set up for you



Hey, Steve, I think your singing was

a little flat that time.



Barry, why don't you play

an "'A" for Steve.



You got that, Steve?



Fuck this shit.



- What's got into him?

- He can't take criticism.



- Great. There goes the band. Shit.

- Wait!



What do you want?



- You can't just go.

- Why not?



- The band needs you.

- Tough, I quit.



And you can tell your shitface brother

that I'd rather fail Computer Science...



than get any more help

from himl



I can't believe

he just quit.



Well, he did, shitface.



She's just lucky

she's a girl.



- Yeah.

- Yeah.



Do you think I'II get

into the Hummingbirds next year?



Boys always get in.



Do you think they'll go on a trip

to Disney World next year also?



I don't know! Maybe. It depends.



- On what?

- Hey, dogface.



- Drop dead!

- Let's go.



What's the matter, faggot?

In a hurry to run home to Mommy?



- Shut up.

- Make me, lesbo.



- You think you're so cool.

- You think you're hot shit...



but you're just cold diarrhea.



- Ooh I Listen to this faggot.

- Shut up.



- Shut up, you assholes.

- Yeah, shut up.



Man, if I were you, faggot,

I'd be shitting in my pants.



'Cause when you go to junior high, man,

I'm gonna smash...



that little fairy face of yours

into a mushy pulp.



At least he won't

stay back a year.






- Hey, Wiener.

- What do you want?



You better get ready 'cause

at  :   today, I'm going to rape you.



Forget that ugly bitch.



Bug off.



You want to come over

to my house tonight?



Just get the fuck

away from me, okay?



Oh, come on.



Get the fuck off.



Nice try, bitch.



- No, I was trying to meet you.

- Don't bullshit me, you ugly fuckl



- I'm sorry.

- Sorry for shitl



- So you still think I'm a retard?

- No, you're not a retard.



Please stop.

You're hurting me.



Now strip.









Now, listen.

When your sister gets here, let me do...



the talking,

but back me up whatever l...



Oh, Dawn! Come join us.



We need your help.



- We're having a party.

- What for?



Mom and Dad's   th,




I was talking with your dad,

and we thought...



it would be a great idea

if this year...



we celebrated our anniversary

in the backyard.



We could set up tables,

and there'd be dancing.



Mark's band is gonna be the music.

Your brother...



has even promised

to write a song special for us.



It's our   th, you know.



What do you think,

if we all pitch in together?



Mom wants you to tear down

your clubhouse.



But that's

the Special People Club!



Oh, honey, I know.



But we really

need the space.



And, besides, it's not

really very pretty, is it?



And you're getting

a little old for clubhouses.



Whom may I say is calling,




Certainly. Hold on a moment.




It's for you.



Hey, ugly.



- Why'd you hurry off like that?

- L-I was in a rush.



- Fuck you were. Tomorrow.

- Really, l...



Same time, same place.



You get raped.

Be there.



So, who is this Brandon?



Just this kid from school.



Is he a nice boy?



Yeah, he's okay.



- You alone?

- Yeah.



- What time do you have to be home by?

-  :  .



Wait. I have something

I want you to do for me first.



Come on. This way.



And don't try anything stupid.



Do you want me to lie down?



- You want a smoke first?

- No, thanks.



- Afraid?

- No, I just don't feel like it.



But I think marijuana

should be legalized.



Why do you always

have to be such a cunt?



I'm sorry.




I don't mean to be a cunt.



You know I've got a brother?



No, I never knew that.

What grade's he in?



He's not in any grade.

He's retarded.



I'm sorry.



There's nothing

to be sorry about. He's a tough kid.



He could beat you up

if he wanted.



I'm sorry.

I mean... Yeah.



Brandon, are you still

going to rape me?



What time is it?



I don't know, but I guess

I don't have to be home yet.



- Nah, there's not enough time.

- Thanks, Brandon.



Yeah, but just remember:

This didn't happen.



I mean no one,

fuckin' no one...



I won't tell anybody,

not a soul.



'Cause if you do, I really will

rape you next time.



I have to tell you,

I'm very upset with you three.



But, Mommy,

I didn't do anything wrong.



I know.

Just Mark and Dawn.



But, Mom, I already

spoke to Steve.



- And did you apologize?

- Yes.



I just had to promise to give him $   

for playing at your party.



- Two hundred dollars?

- For chrissake, Harv, it's our   th!



He's coming by later

to go over some stuff with me.



There's a big Computer Science test




What about you, Dawn? Are you going

to tear down that mess in the backyard?



Dawn, I am talking to you.



Dawn, listen to your mom

and forget about it.



The clubhouse stands,

and that's final.




Have it your way.



Be smart.

Make things easy on yourself.



- Now, this I like.

- Where did you get it?



- The supermarket.

- I picked it out.



Mom, since Dawn isn't eating hers,

can me and Mark split it?



Yeah, can we?






Go ahead.



I'm gonna need your help

this weekend.



- What do we have to do?

- Tear down that mess in the backyard.



- What do you think?

- I think...



They're all so beautiful.



They're from this summer.



Who took them?



Uh, Valerie Mondello.

She's photo editor of the yearbook.



Was she your girlfriend?



For a few days.



It was worth it, though,

don't you think?






I'm thinking of using this one

for my first album cover.



You're going to be

on a record?



It'll happen.

It's gotta happen.



It's just

a question of time.



You think

before graduation?



Fuck graduation.



- What about college?

- Fuck college.



I'm just doing this Computer Science

shit with Mark for my parents.



As soon as I make enough money,

I'm moving into the city.



That's where

it's all happening.



I found the disk.




What do you mean, "no"?

I said out.



Steve and I are talking.



Come on, I said out.

Come on I



- Moml

- Leave her alone.



This is my room.



- So what? You're being a total fascist.

- What is it?



Did you solve

any of the problems?



Good morning, sfudenfs.

All Hummingbird chorus members...



going on the concerf four

fo Disney World fhis year...



musf hand in signed permission slips

by fhis Friday, the latesf.



On a more worrisome nofe,

drugs were found...



exfinguished yesferday

in the boys' lavatory.



Now, I wanf fo remind you all fhaf any

studenf caughf using or selling drugs...



will be immediafely expelled from school

and dealf with by the police.



There will be no excepfions.



Drugs are illegal.

Jusf say no.



Thank you

for your atfenfion.



- Mrs. Lannone?

- Yes, Cookie?



- I have an announcement.

- Go ahead.



For everyone coming to my birthday

party, remember to bring a bathing suit.



That's all.



- Hey, Cookie.

- What do you want?



How come I wasn't invited?

Jed and Lance were.



Oh, well, I really

would have, Brandon...



but we needed an even number

of girls and boys...



and if you were invited...



there would be too many boys.



Well, I got something for you.



- What is it?

- Open it up.



I didn't eat my dessert

at lunch today.



I saved it for you.



Now can I come to

your birthday party this weekend?



But Brandon,

this didn't even cost anything.



- What are you looking at?

- N-Nothing.



Sorry about your locker.



It's okay. I mean, it's not really

mine anyway. It's the school's.



Anyway, I hate those

stupid kinds of parties.



They always treat you

like little kids.



- She probably had a fucking magician.

- Yeah.



I hate parties too.



My parents are tearing

this down tomorrow.



Fuck. What for?



- Their anniversary.

- Assholes.



- Where'd you get that cassette player?

- Ralphy gave it to me.



- Why do you hang out with that faggot?

- Ralphy?



- Yeah.

- Just because he's a faggot...



doesn't mean he's an asshole.



Yeah, maybe.



I can't be your girlfrienb.






I want to,

but I'm in love with someone else.



- Who?

- You wouldn't know him.



- What's his name?

- It's no one you know.



- What's his name?

- He's older.



- What's his fucking name?

- Steve Rodgers. He's in high school.



Brandon, wait!



Where are you going?

We still have some Yodels left!






Don't feel bad, Dawn.

Brandon McCarthy's just a retard.






It was    years ago foday



When Harv and Mar j were married



There were fhree liffle fwinkles

in fheir eyes



When over fhe threshold

Mar j was carried



Harv and Mar j

you're fhe greafesf



You're the greafest couple

fhe world has ever seen



We love you bofh

We wish you fhe besf



Happy anniversary

great joy and happiness



Happy anniversary



Happy anniversary fo you



Happy anniversary



Happy anniversary to you



You're fhe king

of fhe breadwinners, Harv



And Marj

you're fhe queen of mofhers



Missy, Mark and Dawn



- Are your lucky

- Where's Dawn?



- Son and daughfers

- I don't know. Where is...



Rita, did you see Dawn?



Happy anniversary



Happy anniversary fo you



Happy anniversary



Happy anniversary fo you



- How are you?

- I'm fine.




Are you gonna lose your lunch?



- Really? You think so?

- Oh, honey, would you...



- Where's Steve?

- Hey, look who's here!



- Where have you been?

- Leave me alone. I'm looking for Steve.



- Where's Steve?

- I don't know. Leave me alone.



I'm trying

to figure something out.



- Where's Steve?

- In the garage.



Steve! Open upl

Open up!



- Hey, Dawn, what's up?

- I have to talk to you.



- What about?

- I was wondering if...



Well, I've been thinking

seriously of building...



another clubhouse,

and I wanted to know...



Would you be interested in being

my first honorary member?



What-What are you talking about?



The Special People Club.



"Special People"?



What's the matter?



Do you know what

'"special people" means?






"'Special people" equals retarded.



Your club is for retards.



- Hey, Mommy, look!

- I see, honey.



Oh, look at Missyl

Oh, God, you are so cute!



Oh, look at her dancing

with Mr. Kasdanl



And look at me and Steve!

Steve really likes me.



- Hey, I look pretty good there!

- You sound good too.



Oh, Harv, we have

to get copies of this tape.



Yeah. Unfortunately,

Steve just quit the band.



What? I just gave him $   .



Didn't you just tell me he got an "'A"

on his Computer Science final?



It's not that.

He dropped out of school and left town.



He wants to try making it

in New York as the next Jim Morrison.



- Stupid idiot kid. He'll never make it.

- That's what I told him.



- He'll never get into a good school now.

- No, he won't make it.



- Never make it.

- Never.



Mommy, let's watch it again!



You're so lucky.



Would you ask Brandon McCarthy

to step outside, please?



- Is something wrong?

- The police want to question him.




come up here, please.



Leave your test.



Come along, Brandon.



Thank you, Martha.

Sorry for the interruption.



I'm so glad I caught you.

Listen now, Dad just called.



His car broke down, and I have

to pick him up at the car dealer.



I've left a note in the kitchen

for Missy to give to Mrs. Golden...



but in case she doesn't

see it when she gets in...



tell her to get a ride home

from ballet with her.



I won't be able to pick her up

like I told her I would.



- Okay?

- Yeah.



- Now you won't forget?

- No!



And fhaf means hungry for love.



They haven'f goffen enough love.



They haven'f gotfen enough affecfion.



They haven'f goften enough

affention from their parfner...



or from the people in fheir life.



I like to fhink

of your relafionship...



as a living,

breafhing fhing.



I have found fhat in my program

there are five fhings...



I'll get itl



Wiener residence.

Whom, may I ask, is calling, please?



It's Ralphy.



- Tell him I'm punished.

- But you're not punished.



Well, I don't feel

like talking to him.



But he's your friend.

So here.



- Dawn.

- Hang it up!



I don'f wanf fo speak

to fhaf faggof!



- Buf, Dawn...

- Hang if up!



- Buf he's your friend.

- He is not! He's a spy and an asshole!



- Buf, Dawn, Ralphy likes you.

- Yeah?



Well, fhaf's foo bad, 'cause you can

tell him I hope he rofs in hell!



- Maybe you should say you're sorry.

- Fuck you!



You know you're not supposed

to drink in the TV room.



Oh, hey, Missy!









- Haven't seen her since  :  .

- Long brown hair, blue eyes...



last seen wearing

a pink leotard...



pink ballet slippers

and a pink tutu.



She has an older sister,

eleven and a half.



She gave her the note

from her mother.



She claims to have

given her the note.



- Her sister says she gave her the note.

- Yeah, she claims to have.



- This was taken last summer.

- You're not going to school today?



- Mom's afraid I'll be kidnapped also.

- Yeah, right.






Never mind.



What do you think

they're looking around for?



- Clues.

- But she's not here.






Do you think

you can use that one?



Excuse me, Sergeant.



Do you think they'll find her?



- Are you the big sister?

- Yeah.



- And you're the big brother?

- Yeah.



Take whatever you need.

I just want my Missy.



Excuse me.



You know Dad's real sick. He's probably

gonna have to go to the hospital.



- Why? What's wrong with him?

- The doctor's not sure...



but Mom thinks it might be

a nervous breakdown.



It's probably just his gallbladder.



- I'll help, Mom.

- Thank you, Dawn. Here.



Take that up to your father

while I talk to the sergeant.



Sure, Mom.



I brought you some tea.



How are you feeling?






Well, don't worry, they'll find Missy.

I'm sure of it.



And if they don't,

well, remember:



You've still got me and Mark.




Want a bite?



Tommy? Tommy!



Go on,

get back in the kitchen.



- Who are you?

- Dawn Wiener.



- I'm a friend of Brandon McCarthy.

- What do you want?



Well, I was wondering

if I could see Brandon.



- How come you're not in school?

- My sister was kidnapped.



My mom let me

stay home today.



- What do you want with Brandon?

- I wanted to talk to him.



What'd he do,

knock you up or something?



Okay, then, go ahead.

You can go say good-bye to him.



Go on,

up the stairs at the back.



But you got just one hour,

then we're leaving.



Thank you, Mr. McCarthy.



Hi, Brandon.



What are you doing here?



I tried calling you, but my mom wouldn't

let me because my sister was kidnapped.



Yeah, I heard.

So what do you want?



I want to be your girlfriend.



Too late.

I'm leaving.



- Where are you going?

- None of your business.



- Can I come along?

- No.



- Are you gonna go back to school?

- No way, man.



I'm not goin' to no

reformatory either.



My dad thinks I'm goin', but he can

go to hell. I'm gettin' out of here.



- You mean you're running away?

- Yep, to New York.



- Does anybody know?

- No.



Get off of me.



I'm the one that

makes the first move.



- Now come on.

- R-R-Right now?



Now or never.



- But I can't now.

- Why not? What? Are you scared?



- No, but l...

- What?



Can't you wait just a little longer?

I mean, I'm sure Mr. Edwards...



will let you back in

if you stop dealing drugs.



Who said I deal drugs?



But, Brandon, everyone says...



And you believe them all.



You mean, you didn't?




Jed's the one that deals.



But, hey, don't feel bad.



You're like everyone else.



You think

I'm some lying asshole.



And you know something, Dawn?

I don't give a fuck.



I believe you.



Gee, thanks.

I feel so much better.



- But I really do!

- The fuck you dol



Brandon, I do!



- Lying piece of shit.

- Brandon, please wait.



- I'm so sorry.

- Well, it's too late.



I'm gettin' outta here. Who knows?

Maybe I will deal drugs now.



You packed?

We're leaving in ten minutes!



Well, you comin'?



I can't.



Brandon, wait!

Please don't gol



So, how's Dad?



They don't know yet.



They're still

doing more testing.



Can I visit him?



What are you doing

tomorrow after school?



Tomorrow's no good.

I've got a big Forensic Society debate.



But I'm sure

I can get out of it.



No, Mark.



Go. I want you to.

It's important.



Dawn can come with me

to the hospital...



and I'll get your Aunt Phyllis

to stay by the phone.



Hello? Yes.






In Times Square?



Are you sure?






Thank you.



They found her tutu.



Excuse me.

Have you seen my sister?



Pardon me. Have you seen my sister?

Her name is Missy Wiener.



Have you seen my sister?

Her name's Missy Wiener.



Helpl Dawn, help me!



Help me!

Help me, Dawn!



Help! Help!



Wait! Wait!



Stop! Stopl



Let go of my sister!



You're the best daughter

a mother could have!



- I love you so much.

- I love you, Dawn.



Me too.

I love you.



- Oh, Dawn, I love you.

- Dawn, I love you!



- And you know I've always loved you.

- Oh, Dawn, we love youl



- Yeah, I'll accept.

- Hi, Mark?



- Lf's Dawn.

- Ooh, are you in trouble.



- Where are you?

- New York.



- Whaf are you doing fhere?

- L-I ran away.



- Are you serious?

- Yeah. I fhoughf I mighf find Missy.



- Way to go.

- Is Mom real upsef?



Not really.

They found Missy this morning.



- Is she dead?

- No, she's fine.



It turns out Mr. Kasdan

kidnapped her.



- Really?

- Yeah.



Mrs. Kasdan is gonna

file for divorce now.



Turns out he'd built this

little underground room...



beneath the shuffleboard

court and kept her there.



- Did he rape her?

- Nah.



I think he videotaped her

doing some pirouettes, but that's it.



Is she in the hospital?



No, she's here.

She's fhe same.



Actually, I think she may

have liked being there...



'cause she had her own TV

and total control over the pusher.



She also got fo have as much candy

and McDonald's as she wanted.



Can you get Mom?



Yeah, hold on.



Mom, it's Dawn.



- Will you move?

- Where the fuck is Sam?



Can you call back

a little later?



- She's being interviewed.

- Okay.



And now, sfudenfs,

I'd like you fo give your affenfion...



to Dawn Wiener.



"'I'm standing here today to express

my and my family's thanks...



for the support in helping us get

through this hor... terrible ordeal.



If it hadn't been for your help

in providing the police...



with the information leading

to the conviction of Joseph Kasdan...



my sister might not

be here today.



Your emotional

and moral support...



has been invaluable.



Missy has always been like

a sister to me...



- Wienerdog!

- And a friend.



- And now that she is safe and sound...

- Wienerdog!



- Wienerdog!

- Wienerdog!



And now that she's safe and sound...






Go on, Dawn.



I can rest easy in the knowledge that,

that Missy is fine.



Thank you very much."



...were unavailable for comment.



Friends and neighbors, however,

shocked af his arresf...



described Joseph Kasdan

as a regular family man...



who would often dress up

as Sanfa at Christmasfime.



Now we bring you an exclusive

interview from our own...



While you're at it,

can you get me another bag of popcorn?



- And a glass of diet Coke.

- And Hawaiian Punch.



- Okay.

- Did he fouch you af all in any way?



I don't know.



Anyway, I bet you're happy

fo be home wifh Mommy.






Tell me, Mrs. Wiener, how did

you feel when you discovered...



Mark, is eighth grade

better than seventh?



Not really.



What about ninth?



All of junior high school sucks.



High school's better. It's closer

to college. They'll call you names...



but not as much to your face.



How did you feel being kidnapped

and being held hosfage?



- Were you scared?

- No.



- I don't want to go to Disney World.

- Don't be stupid.



If nothing else, it'll look good

on your college resume.



Look in the sky

at fhe tiny birds thaf fly



Wifh wings fhaf move fasfer

fhan the eye can see






Hooray, Hurrah, Sis-boom-bah



Now put on a smile, kids

Wipe off that frown



We're hummable Hummingbirds



Happy and sunny birds

humming all day long



Come and join us in our song






Hummable Hummingbirds

humming along, we are



Hum hummable Hummingbirds



We go up, up, up info fhe sky



We're fhe Hummingbirds

of Ben jamin Franklin Junior High





Special help by SergeiK