Voila! Finally, the What A Girl Wants
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring
Amanda Bynes, Colin Firth, Kelly Preston, etc. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of What A Girl Wants. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
My name is Daphne Reynolds,
and I was born in New York City.
Iíve lived my whole life with my mom
in a fifth-floor walkup in Chinatown.
It's always been just the two of us,
me and Libby.
But every year on my birthday,
Iíd make a wish...
Make a wish, baby!
...that someone else could be there, too.
And every year when he didn't come,
Iíd ask my mom to tell me the same story.
You never get tired of this one,
do you? Okay.
Once upon a time...
there was a young, very cool singer
who one day decided
to go out and see the world.
Little did she know
that in the deserts of Morocco...
fate was waiting for her...
and his name was Henry.
They fell madly, passionately,
hopelessly in love...
and were married
by the chief of a Bedouin tribe.
Henry brought her to England to meet
his family and to get married for real.
But fate was not so kind this time.
She was definitely not
what they were expecting.
But when Henry's father suddenly died...
Libby knew there'd be more pressure
on him to lead a certain kind of life...
because he was now Lord Dashwood...
and Libby was no one's idea of a lady.
Henry knows all about it.
If you love Henry, you will go now.
I think you should see this.
Apparently there's someone else.
So even though it broke her heart...
she knew she had to leave him.
But a few months later,
fate gave her the greatest gift of all...
a beautiful baby girl named Daphne.
Sweet dreams, kiddo.
I can't believe you're years old today.
Sweet dreams, Henry.
On my th birthday,
Mom and I had to work.
But it turned out to be
where my story really began.
You delivering something?
About three hours
of watered-down rock and roll...
and one very late waitress.
Watch your head.
Are you related?
-Can I park it?
-Yeah, over there.
How could he do this to me?
Itís our wedding day! Where is he?
What? I should know?
minutes and she's lost him already.
How you doing?
Iím sorry, can I borrow this? Thanks.
Sorry about this.
Come on, big guy, wakey-wakey.
Itís cold and I can't get it out!
-Are you done with this, sir?
-What are you doing here?
-Iím clearing the chicken cacciatore.
My God, that is so funny!
Iím interning at Jenkins and Taylor...
before I go to Duke, prelaw.
What's next for you?
The dessert, a selection of sorbets.
No, where are you going to college?
That would be
the University of the Undecided.
Is that in Ohio?
I guess I better be going.
But say hey to Jenkins and Taylor.
will please clear the dance floor.
The bride and her father
would like to share a special dance.
-I know. I saw the look.
-I don't want to talk about it.
Every time we do these weddings,
I see the father-daughter dances.
l can't help but think
that Iím never going to get to do that.
l know you think you're doing
the right thing by keeping me from him--
l was trying to protect you
from getting hurt the same way I was.
You left him, remember?
Itís not like he jumped on a plane
and came after me.
Maybe he would have if he knew I existed.
-Itís not that simple.
-Why can't you understand, Mom?
l feel like half of me is missing.
Without the other half, how am l
supposed to know who I really am?
Getting to know someone because
they share the same DNA isn't the answer.
Itís about getting to know yourself.
Come on, let's go steal some leftovers.
Lasagna looks great.
I love you a million Swedish fish.
I love you a million red M&M's.
-Where to, miss?
-JFK, Virgin Atlantic.
You got it.
l thought maybe the answer was taking
a year or two off before college...
to find out what Iím supposed to do
with my life.
But deep down,
I think Iíve always known...
what I really need more than anything else
in the world is to find him...
to find my dad.
Mom, you always said it was up to me
to write the rest of my story...
but you've been writing it for me, Mom.
Now it has to be my turn.
Can I borrow that for a sec?
Great Britain Grand Hotel?
-That's not it.
-That sounded really good.
-Is that a Gibson J- ?
Are you a musician?
No, but I live with one back home.
So, you checking in?
-One of many.
You know, life of a struggling musician.
Come on, Iíll show you around.
So the kitchen's through there.
Common room's down the hall.
I should warn you the dog and bone's
on the blink and we've no lift here.
Phone is broken.
We better take this slowly.
...into life hours ago when
Lord Henry Dashwood announced today...
that he was giving up
his hereditary seat in the House of Lords...
to run for election as a commoner.
Why should an accident of birth...
give me the right to make decisions
for the people? The only power...
...the voters choose to give me.
That's why Iím standing in this election.
Thank you very much.
Lord Dashwood, who will marry
his fiancťe, Glynnis Payne...
in the presence
of the Queen this summer...
will also inherit a stepdaughter,
the lovely Clarissa Payne.
Itís this surprising announcement
of Lord Dashwood's...
that has sent shock waves
He now appears to be
an unstoppable political force.
l admit, when you first suggested
giving up your seat in the House of Lords...
l began to question your sanity.
But, no, this is political dynamite.
l had an eccentric idea we might
actually be doing the right thing.
Itís possible to do the right thing
and still be a winner.
The latest poll puts the party six points
ahead. That's all due to you.
You're transforming the image
of the party your father loved.
He would have been so proud of you.
Look at you.
You're young, thrusting, idealistic...
an impeccable reputation--
And a fabulous fiancťe
with all the right connections.
Sorry, Daddy, but if I don't steal him,
he'll miss his speech at the Oxfam ball.
-Blast it, my speech.
-Right-hand pocket, darling.
She thinks of everything.
Well, gentlemen, that seems to be all.
You two enjoy yourselves.
How's our boy doing?
lf he doesn't ruffle too many feathers...
we're looking at the next Prime Minister.
I don't know if I can do this anymore.
Daphne, he's your father.
You've flown halfway around the world
to see him. You can't turn back now.
He's got a family now.
You saw them, they're so elegant
and sophisticated. Itís like...
what would he want with me?
-You got a point there.
Itís just not as simple as I thought.
Maybe I should just go home
and let him get on with his life.
Can I help you, miss?
Perfect, absolutely wonderful.
Thank you so much. Ciao.
You haven't forgotten Lady Wrightwood's
this afternoon, have you?
She is sponsoring us...
for the Royal Enclosure at Ascot,
we have to be there.
l thought getting married to Henry
meant we didn't have to try so hard.
Iím not getting married for five weeks.
Until then we have
to keep up appearances.
Look what happened to Olivia Dixon
when she went to China.
Who's Olivia Dixon?
-Did you see that?
An impossibly large bird
falling off that wall.
Are you hallucinating?
These eggs are positively glacial.
When I run this house, senile servants
will be the first thing to go.
You'd have to get around the old bat.
She'd never allow it.
Anyone seen my pruning shears?
The old bat seems to have forgotten
where she put them.
Everyone sleep well?
There's someone at the window,
and Iím not hallucinating.
Itís those bloody paparazzi again.
Percy, call the police!
l will not tolerate this media circus!
-Where do you think you're going?
How long do you people have to spy
before realizing there's no story here?
-You've got the wrong idea.
-Tell it to the authorities.
The real scandal is how young
they're starting you guttersnipes now.
You sit down and tell me who sent you.
The Sun? The Daily Star?
Good heavens, you can't be more than .
Go on, take your picture and go away.
I already have a picture of you.
What's going on?
Where the devil did you get this?
That singer you met on a camel?
Why would Libby give this to you?
She thought Iíd want to know
what my father looked like.
My name is Daphne Reynolds
and Iím Libby's daughter.
According to this...
Iím your daughter, too.
For Heaven's sake!
Seems you had an even better time
in Morocco than you let on.
Oh, dear God.
No, this is impossible.
-Must be a mistake.
-Exactly, a mistake.
This doesn't prove anything.
This woman Libby...
must have written down
the first man she could think of.
As far as I know, you're the only man
she's ever thought of.
Can I have a word with you in private
for a moment, please?
You're not going to believe her, are you?
Maybe I shouldn't have come.
l can tell this is a big shock for you.
Iím freaking out,
and Iíve known since I was two.
Don't get me wrong,
freaking out in a good way.
Iíve dreamt about this my whole life.
Not that exact entrance, of course.
l imagined something more graceful.
l can see now
that it was probably a mistake.
l shouldn't have come.
Sorry, did you just say you've known
about this your whole life?
Now we've got that settled, how about
some tea and a piece of fruitcake?
Your mother didn't feel
l deserved the same consideration?
No to the fruitcake, then.
How could she keep it from me?
What happened to the mistake theory
we were operating on a moment ago?
No, wait a minute, ducky.
Henry, I know this has come as a shock,
but we can't just let the girl go.
Not until we've got to the bottom of this.
Shall I call a hotel, madam?
And tell them what, exactly?
That the best-known electoral candidate
in a generation...
is requesting a room for a teenage girl?
The press will have a field day.
Can we leave the press out of this?
Glynnis is absolutely right, dear.
Thank God someone else
is thinking straight.
The girl must stay here, with us.
Before we let this hypothetical daughter...
blow your political career
out of the water...
we might consider checking up on her.
Criminal record? Blood type?
Triple sixes on her scalp--
Glynnis, she has a birth certificate,
she has my photograph, she has my eyes.
Iím trying to think of what's best for you.
l know you don't like thinking about it,
but the press can be brutal.
Henry Dashwood in Love-child Shocker! ''
Actually, she's not strictly a love child.
Her mother and I were married.
l mean, not technically.
it was a Bedouin ceremony in Morocco.
We planned to make it official
as soon as we got back...
but for some reason Libby decided to....
Anyway, she left.
-Taking something of yours with her.
-Put a cork in it.
Maybe someone should have put
a cork in it years ago!
Well, here we are.
Will it do?
Are you kidding? Itís incredible!
Itís bigger than our entire apartment...
the Chinese restaurant downstairs
and the dry cleaner down the street.
Makes the White House
look like a McDonald's.
I get the point. Why don't I send Percy
to fetch your things.
Thank you so much, Lady Dashwood.
No hugs, dear. Iím British.
We only show affection
to dogs and horses.
Is she there? Is she all right?
Yeah, she's here, she's fine.
Mother is force-feeding her
ancient fruitcake as we speak.
How could you not tell me
Iíd fathered a child?
You let her show up on my doorstep
years later, unannounced--
Put a dent in your political career?
No, that's not--
You're afraid of a scandal,
just send her back.
Itís not about scandal, it's about finding
out I had a daughter for half my life!
-l didn't want her to get hurt.
-What is that supposed to mean?
Ask your advisors.
They've gotten you this far, haven't they?
My point is Henry's greatest strength
has always been...
he's completely scandal-free
unlike his opponent.
This could ruin everything.
Have you finished stating the obvious?
Good. Then let me explain
what we're going to do.
We give the press the story,
but we spin it our way.
Let's see what we have.
The Royal Dress Show.
Introduce her as the daughter
but rarely had the chance to be with.
The press gets a story,
but one that's cut off at the knees.
May I remind you we are dealing
with a living, breathing -year-old girl.
-That's the problem.
-The only thing we know...
is that she's an American teenager.
Hardly a promising start.
Still, what do you think, Henry?
Liability or asset?
Well, Iíve only spent a few moments
with her myself...
but my sense from first impression
is that she's mature for her age.
She seems well-mannered enough.
-Your lunch, Miss Daphne.
Iíd say rather self-contained, soft-spoken.
Perfect. Let's run with it.
Me. Please be Armistead.
Dashwood residence, Clarissa speaking.
This is Ian Wallace.
Is Daphne Reynolds there?
She's not here.
There's no one here
by that name, actually. Sorry.
lf you do happen to see her,
could you tell her...
-Ian Wallace is trying to find her?
-Absolutely! I will.
Mr. Dashwood. Lord Dashwood?
-Call me Henry.
This is a cool room.
l was just wondering if....
Well, I don't know if this
would interest you, actually...
but I was hoping you might accompany me
to the Royal Dress Show on Friday.
-Yes, it's ass-numbingly dull.
Some of the people I have to impress
take it frightfully seriously.
Is it like a fashion show?
Gwyneth and Madonna
go to those things, right?
Do you think they'd be there?
I have no idea what you're talking about,
but for me...
it's a stop on the campaign trail.
For Glynnis, it's a chance
to launch Clarissa on society.
Launch? You make her sound like a ship.
No, in Clarissa's case it's more like
an intercontinental ballistic missile.
She's what in the old days might
have been called a debutante.
So, I don't know. I just thought....
Could you bear it?
Could I bear it? I mean that'd be....
-That'd be cool.
Well, good. That's settled, then.
l forgot. I brought this for you.
Its some pictures of me growing up.
-l thought you might want to have it.
Thank you very much.
That's splendid, thank you.
-Could I get your advice on something?
l just can't decide which one to wear
to the show tomorrow...
and I was wondering what you thought.
Is that a Gucci tartan mini? That's so cute!
You can go that funky
to the Royal Dress Show?
Daphne, that's the whole point.
Turn up in a sensible dress and pearls...
and you might as well wear
a big sign saying, 'Spot the Plonker.'
Iím glad you told me.
I don't want to be a plonker.
What are stepsisters for?
-This is really cute.
-Good, Iíll wear that, then.
-See you later!
-Iím here to see Daphne Reynolds.
-Do you have an appointment?
No, but she's a good friend of mine.
-You don't get in without an appointment.
-She'll want to see me.
Could you move away now, please, sir?
-Could you move away now, please?
All right, chill out, mate!
You don't own the place!
No. Not good.
Iím so sorry. One second.
Iíll be right there. Almost ready.
We have to go!
Prince Charles, Harry, and Wills
will already be there.
Why doesn't Daphne come along later?
-l suppose Percy could drive--
-Brilliant, it's settled then!
Well, isn't this perfect!
-Go low on that one, Armi.
-Low? Low it is.
You'd think they'd choose debs
who actually had ankles.
Those look like baked hams.
-Should I park the car?
-No, see you later!
Sorry. No admittance.
Show's already started.
Where is this Daphne, anyway?
I don't know.
She'll swing through on a vine any minute.
The girl is positively barbaric.
l hope she doesn't embarrass me
in front of Armistead.
We still have the arrival
of Henry's illegitimate daughter.
You needn't worry on that account.
Henry assured me
she will be the soul of discretion.
-Is this the way to the show?
-Go! You're on!
Oh, my giddy aunt!
Holy pooh on toast!
Who is that adorable creature?
She can dump tea in my harbor anytime!
Thank you, London!
Are you all right? Are you sure?
What a disgrace!
Must be American.
Make way, everyone.
Tacky American coming through.
My evil stepsister.
You've seen Cinderella, right?
Let me clue you in.
-What a cute dog!
-I beg your pardon?
Iím Henry Dashwood's daughter
from New York.
l didn't know Henry had a daughter.
Can I play with him?
She's very temperamental! A biter!
Hey, guy! I like the ribbon.
Oh, dear. Excuse me, won't you?
Cute little guy, let's play.
Princess Charlotte, I do apologize.
Itís all right, Henry. Iíve just been having...
a delicious moment with your daughter.
A little rough around the edges...
but you'll soon smooth those out.
-Is she staying for the summer?
My daughter will be joining us this season.
-Oh, my dear, you'll love it!
Beautiful gowns, lovely tiaras,
long, silky gloves...
and the feverish kissing in the cloakroom!
l must have my little baby back!
Come here, my darling!
There now, sweetheart.
You found a new friend.
Come on, Daphne.
Let's get you out of here.
She'll be gone in no time,
just like her mother.
-You scared the bejesus out of me.
So, you're the milk thief.
What are you doing up so late?
What's your excuse?
Couldn't sleep. Just...thinking.
How I nearly wiped out
the entire royal family?
Actually, I think they enjoyed it.
Itís the first time Iíve seen
Princess Charlotte like anyone.
No one will go near that dog
since it ate one of Lord Barret's testicles.
Actually, no, the real tragedy is
that he's still reproducing.
l had you down as an All-Bran man.
These are strictly contraband.
Glynnis makes me eat
that other gravel every morning.
Do you like Cocoa Puffs?
Dude, it's chocolate. Need I say more?
Did you mean what you said
about me staying for the summer?
Yes, I did.
So does that mean
Iíll be launched on society?
Actually, I suppose we ought
to arrange a coming-out party for you.
Coming-out party? Coming out as what?
-As a young woman.
-What are you trying to say, Henry?
l just mean as a young woman...
of a certain...social standing
Eligibility? For what?
For men, I mean, for male suitors to....
Iím not explaining this very well, am l?
Not at all.
But Iím having fun watching you try.
Perhaps we ought to leave
the party arrangements to you.
Itís not my kind of thing,
but Iíll think about it.
l was just wondering whether...
your mother ever....
No, she never got married.
No, but obviously there'd be somebody,
Well, off to bed, I suppose.
l hope your sleeping arrangements
are conducive to a good night's--
''Sweet dreams'' is all it takes.
Well, sweet dreams.
Sweet dreams, Henry!
-Off to work?
-l was just, well, yes.
That reminds me...
we must get you a dress for this Saturday.
-What's happening on Saturday?
-The ball at the Orwoods'.
Lots of hands to shake, Iím afraid.
l can help Daphne find a dress!
We all know that wouldn't be a good idea.
No, I found a gown for Daphne
at my designer's, darling.
Iíve put it in your room, dear.
Itís utterly ravishing.
Thank you. Iím counting on you girls
to give her some pointers.
So, Henry asked us to give you
some pointers, didn't he?
Well, pointer number one: Go home.
Mother and I belong here,
and it's quite clear you just don't fit in.
And pointer number two:
While you're packing...
keep your grimy little Yankee paws
off Armistead Stuart.
-lf you'd take your nose out of the air...
you'd see that you're designer,
You have a mansion,
I have a five-floor walkup.
You're snotty Little Miss Cranky Pants
and I go with the flow.
Why would you ever think
that Iíd ever have the same taste in guys?
So, here's a little pointer for you:
Get over yourself, and stop trying to be
my daddy's little girl...
because Iím not going anywhere.
Don't listen to that twit Clarissa
she's just threatened by you, that's all.
Why would she be threatened?
Her mother is about to marry my son
and gain a title and all that goes with it.
For years, Alistair tried
to elevate his position...
through my husband's political career
and now he's got his claws into Henry.
For people like Alistair and Glynnis,
social standing is everything.
Itís silly, but they live by it.
And I lived by it, too, once.
Till I saw what a toll it took
on the people who I love most.
Believe me, dear, there'll be plenty
of people rooting for you to fail.
That's what makes it such fun!
Bring it on.
Oh, dear. Is that how the West was won?
Lord Henry Dashwood.
Miss Glynnis Payne.
Miss Clarissa Payne.
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Ashley.
Lord and Lady Harrison Gordon.
Lord and Lady Jeffrey Charles.
Now, come along, Daphne.
-Deep breath, remember the family motto.
-What's the family motto?
-Qui Patitur Vincit.
-What does that mean?
It means, ducky,
hang in there and you'll rock!
Lady Jocelyn Dashwood,
Countess of Wycombe.
Lady Jocelyn Dashwood,
Countess of Wycombe.
Miss Daphne Reynolds,
Chinatown, New York.
-What has she done to that dress?
-Could you hold it on that step, please?
-Let's get out of here.
Look this way, Miss Reynolds!
Excuse me, thank you. That will be all.
Sorry about that, you're still
something of a novelty, Iím afraid.
Are those the girls that are coming out?
That's Peach and Pear Orwood,
the precious daughters of Lord Orwood.
-Have you noticed the chandelier?
-Chairman of my constituency party.
The real love of his life
is that chandelier up there.
Don't let him catch you looking at it.
on his supernaturally boring story...
on how Napoleon gave it to Josťphine
at the Battle of Borodino.
-The story is longer than the battle.
-Excuse me, sir.
Could I request a dance
from your gorgeous daughter?
Iím sure she'd be delighted.
Thank you, Armistead.
l can't believe that little imposter
is going to ruin my summer.
She may be a lot of things,
but I can't believe imposter is one of them.
she's th in line to the throne.
Really, Fiona, people
would have to die for her to be Queen.
Well, it's far less than the you'd need.
Women are drawn to me.
l happen to be blessed with.
An indefinable quality
that just relaxes them...
You're feeling it, Dabney?
And let me guess,
you're feeling it in my backside?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we'll take a short break.
See you in .
Warning, colonial strumpet alert.
Hi, Iím Daphne Reynolds!
Peach and Pear, isn't it?
-Are those your real names?
Pumpkin and Gourd would have been
much more appropriate.
Our mother was obsessed with fruit.
We have a sister called Parsnip.
She doesn't get out much.
Let's bail. This party is a total bore.
Don't listen to her, the party is hopping!
Excuse me for a second.
She is so nice.
-What a wonderful evening.
-Iím glad you're enjoying yourself.
l don't know if you've noticed
Actually, it's a rather fascinating story.
Looking for me?
No, I was just looking for the loo.
On the terrace?
All right, so you caught me.
So let me guess.
You'll disappear again
without so much as a glass slipper?
This Cinderella's got a dad now,
she's not going anywhere.
Your song was really beautiful.
Thanks. It's not going
to liven up this party, though.
Poor girls. Feel sorry for them.
A dud like this will send them
right back to social Siberia.
What do you say we liven things up
a little bit? Get the party started!
Well, first of all, I could get fired.
And second of all, I could get fired.
Okay, let's do it.
Insufferable deprivation of this house--
-Okay, guys! One, two three, four!
-Iím cranking up the bass!
What is going on? Is that girl yours?
Yes, she is.
What do you suggest I tell my daughters
when they lie awake...
crying over their ruined ball?
This is ridiculous.
Have you seen the papers?
We have to do something.
l don't know anyone that isn't relieved
to see that wretched chandelier go.
What on earth are you giving Henry?
They're called Cocoa Puffs, madam.
You never know when something sharp
might fall from the sky.
-Iím most dreadfully sorry.
These are my best suede Pradas.
Do you have any idea
how expensive they are?
Iím really sorry about last night.
l was just trying to help them out.
Where did you find that revolting song?
charted out at number .
l have no idea where that came from.
Gillian, darling, yes, Iím sorry,
it's just been awful here.
What music did you listen to
when you were younger?
-Before the Earth's crust cooled?
Like, favorite band of the ' s.
Please, don't say the Bee Gees.
No, they were called Little Feat.
l saw them half a dozen times.
They were once--
Henry, it's : and you have
an appointment in Westminster at : .
Yes, you're right. I have to go.
See you later.
Mr. Wallace is here to see you.
Don't let him in, Iím not even cute yet!
What am I going to wear?
Hello, sir. Ian Wallace.
Iím here to pick up Daphne.
How are you doing?
-How do you do?
Who are you?
Iím a musician. I was at the ball last night.
You're in the band.
-But now you and Daphne are....
-Eloping together? Yeah.
l realize it's a bit sudden...
but after last night,
there really was no turning back.
-Don't wait up.
What we need is a little cheering up,
Hold the ''little.''
Leave it all to me.
Ready? Let's go!
We got to try these.
These are great kabobs.
Can we have two, please?
l love these.
This place has nice stuff.
Iíll get it. No, it's fine. Honestly.
-What is it?
This is so pretty!
-Thanks for my bracelets.
Today was really fun. I needed it.
Good. Glad you're enjoying yourself.
From now on, Iím going to behave.
Behave like what, exactly?
l don't know.
An impeccably brought-up young lady.
No more repeats of last night.
Well, I just chose you to help!
Okay, that's it.
Now gently slide your foot back.
So much for gently.
You got to think grace.
You got to think poise.
You got to think balance.
So tell me, Obi-Wan, where did you learn
your impressive skills?
Well, if you really want to know,
believe it or not...
my mother was a deb.
Then she chose to marry beneath her.
Her parents probably disowned her...
but for some reason they took pity on me,
their half-breed grandson.
Paid for me to go the right schools,
got me into all the right clubs...
until one day I realized
the hypocrisy of it all.
And your parents?
They're poor as church mice
and they're the happiest people I know.
Enough stalling. Get up there
and let me see you perform.
Find your center.
Good. That's it.
You know what I still don't get?
Why are you trying so hard to fit in
when you're born to stand out?
-Five hours ago...
your daughter rode off on the back...
of a motorcycle and hasn't been heard
Are we talking about a date?
l don't know, but I dread to think!
The boy's in some sort of band!
Let me guess, he's a drummer.
This is serious, Libby.
As I recall, I spent a great deal of time
on the back of your motorbike, Henry.
Well, I think that's rather different.
Strange how easy it comes, isn't it?
Does it ever go away?
No, Henry, it doesn't.
Libby, Iím sorry, Iím going to have to run.
Darling, this really is important.
Iíve just had a long conversation
with a Bedouin translator.
Apparently there are certain drums
which indicate an actual marriage...
whereas others, they're just used merely
for mating rituals.
Have I just entered a parallel universe?
Don't you see what this means?
Itís possible that you and Libby
never had a real wedding after all.
So there's nothing to interfere
with our plans. ls there, darling?
lsn't that good news, Henry?
Here we go.
Hang on a second.
l had no idea you were so versatile.
Henry, come along, lots to do.
What are you doing here?
Another one of my glamorous jobs.
You look beautiful.
Thanks. I have to be on my best behavior.
You better be. There's even more
reporters here than usual.
l know. They're waiting to see
what crazy thing Iíll do next.
You mean like
kissing a guy who parks cars?
Daphne, the press want a photo
of you and your father.
Thanks, Iíll find him.
Stay away from her, peasant.
She's out of your league.
What's the matter?
Thought our competition ended
in lower school.
Are you afraid she might prefer musicians
to Cambridge boys?
No. Breeding always wins out in the end.
ls Miss Reynolds
enjoying her time in London?
How's the campaign going?
Tell us about the chandelier incident.
Thank you, gentlemen. No more now.
Do you think he's terribly rich?
-l imagine so.
-l hope so.
Pear? You look...
She gave us some styling tips.
Why on earth would you want
styling tips from her?
-Isn't it just?
The race is that way.
Aren't you supposed to be escorting
Clarissa this summer?
What, and leave you to fend for yourself?.
Or are you suffering
from romantic delusion...
that some non-talent commoner
will do it for you?
You know, I really wish you'd pull your lip
over your head and swallow it.
l find your Yankee vulgarity
so forget about the car-parking,
and give me that kiss you've been
longing to give me since we first met.
l have been longing to do this.
Henry, do something.
Don't you ever pucker your lips
at me again, you arrogant jerk!
And how dare you insult lan?
He's twice the man you'll ever be!
-Give me the keys to your bike! Quick!
What's going on?
That is without doubt the most
indecorous thing I have done in years.
l have no idea what you're
talking about, but Iím glad.
You should do it more often.
l don't remember
the last time I went barefoot.
Don't you just love
squiggling your toes in the sand?
Did you know it's a natural exfoliant?
Mom says if you can walk on a beach and
you have a steady hand with nail polish...
there's no reason
to ever pay for a pedicure.
You talk just like her, you know.
As in too much?
Is she happy?
Yeah, I think so.
l can tell she gets lonely sometimes, but...
l think she's pretty content
with who she is.
l like that about her.
l wish I were more like that.
So what next?
No, absolutely not.
Itís this or that.
l think Iíll do this one.
How're you doing?
That doesn't sound pleasant.
-What do you think?
-Itís just henna.
Remember I told you how groovy I was?
And I used to like people like this guy.
Look. This stuff is good.
God, Iíve been looking for Cuckoo Owl.
Strange, funky sounds.
l remember that. Doris?
You just bang your head.
Okay. Let's go.
l was just.... I wanted to see if they still fit.
They seem fine.
Who are you?
What have you done with my fiancť?
l want my Henry back.
You've dropped points in the polls.
Are you worried?
l can't comment.
lf you can't handle your own child,
how can you handle the government?
Frank, good to see you.
Please, Lord Dashwood.
How much time do we have?
Plenty. Your first two clients
and you got out of your speech
at the Children's Education Center.
Why would we have canceled that speech?
We didn't. They did.
Daphne, can I have a word?
This is Brigadier Sir Roderick Dashwood.
He lost an eye at the battle of the Boyne.
And over here
we have Field Marshal Bingley Dashwood.
He lost his arm at the Battle of the Nile.
Uncle Alfred never spoke
about what he lost...
but you'd rarely find him sitting.
l lost my tonsils. Does that mean I qualify?
part of the burden
of being a member of this family...
is that there are
certain codes of behavior...
that one is expected to observe.
lf one is not seen to conform, then....
Then it becomes....
Listen, Iíve very much enjoyed
our time together.
Really and truly....
Itís just that these are
very difficult circumstances...
and you, as my daughter, have to....
l have to change.
Itís okay, I get it.
-Iím a Dashwood, too, right?
Yes, you are.
What are you looking at?
l can do it.
You're not wearing that
to the Strokes concert, are you?
Oh, my God, I totally forgot.
Things have been so hectic.
Iíll wait for you to get changed.
l can't go.
We're going to the Queen's garden party.
Just call me
when Daphne re-inhabits your body.
And this is Miss Daphne Reynolds.
l gather Her Majesty has
accepted an invitation to Daphne's ball.
She's come a long way, I must say.
You must be very proud of her.
This is the tiara that I wore
at my own coming-out party.
Clarissa's had her beady eye on it
But I want you to have it.
l hope it makes you feel like a princess.
But, you know, my dear...
it's not the crown that makes the queen.
Itís what's in here.
Can we talk for a sec?
Itís your party.
You can do whatever you want.
-l really didn't--
-l don't want to hear about it, Daph.
What happened to the old you?
The real you?
Okay, lads, let's pick up the tempo.
Daphne, Iíve missed you so much.
What are you doing here?
Jocelyn thought you might need a pal
while you're being fed to the sharks.
Honey, you look so beautiful.
Look at you, Mom.
Are you actually wearing a bra?
Hello, Lucy. Iím Glynnis, Henry's fiancťe.
Itís Libby, actually. And congratulations.
Well, what a lovely surprise.
l see you've come with no escort.
Henry, you must find somebody divine
for Lubby here to dance with.
And why doesn't he just ask her himself?.
This is fantastic. Everyone important
has accepted their invitation.
This goes to show
we've got the election in the bag.
How can you be so calm?
Her Majesty is due any moment and your
candidate is dancing with that woman.
Henry knows what's at stake.
Besides, look what he did with Daphne.
Quite an achievement.
l thought I would have to get rid of her
like I had to with her mother, but....
What did you just say?
-Did you say you got rid of my mother?
-Figure of speech, sweetheart.
-So are you the one that made her leave?
-Now is not the time.
How dare he!
-Glynnis, let go!
Get in here right now.
Remember the ritual dances?
You were so bad,
they're still blaming you for the locusts.
Your frock nearly got us all arrested.
l had to have you translate my apology.
Which was something of a risk.
Don't I know it. You could've been
trading me in for a goat.
Which never came through, by the way.
l had faith in you, Henry.
Itís not enough.
You didn't say goodbye.
You just disappeared.
-That's what you wanted.
-What I wanted?
What I wanted was to be given a chance.
You have had years of chances...
and Iíve had years
of waiting for you to take them.
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
the traditional father-daughter dance.
-Where is Daphne?
-Iíll find her.
Has Daphne gone missing again?
Maybe Clarissa can step in.
Iím sure you wouldn't mind, would you?
No. Iím almost your daughter now, too.
l can't miss
my own father-daughter dance!
-How dare you, Glynnis?
-We don't want a scene now, do we?
Take your hand off my daughter...
or you won't get a scene,
you'll get a Broadway musical.
What are you doing?
Finally giving you what you deserve.
l don't want it.
Any of it.
Iím done waiting, Henry.
When I was little, every birthday
Iíd get all dressed up, and Iíd wish...
that if I was good enough...
that you'd come and find me.
And now here I am, in the most beautiful
dress I could ever imagine...
and you're here.
You know what I miss now?
l miss being me.
l finally realize that that is enough.
You know, Daphne, l....
Maybe we're just trying to make
something work here...
Pray be upstanding
for Her Majesty the Queen!
Come on, honey.
Thank you very much. I have no comment.
Couldn't you sleep, either?
Made a bit of a mess of things, haven't l?
For six centuries, this family has been
sacrificing bits of itself for England.
Arms, legs, eyes....
The battlefields of Europe
are littered with them.
Don't follow in that glorious tradition.
You know what you're going to sacrifice?
Your heart, Henry.
Over the last few weeks...
Iíve certainly received more support
from the voters of this constituency
than Iíd ever dared hope for.
Iíd like take this opportunity
to thank you all for that.
Now you may have noticed that...
recently there have been remarks
in the press regarding my behavior.
Itís been suggested that Iíve...
not been conducting myself
in a manner befitting an MP.
Well, Iíve been giving my priorities
a great deal of thought...
and Iíve decided
it's time to get them straight...
which is why I must now
respectfully withdraw my candidacy.
Representing you would undoubtedly be
the greatest honor of my political life.
But it would be
simply impossible to do so...
if Iím not serving my own conscience.
And as important
as my political aspirations are to me...
there is one thing that matters more.
Are you out of your mind?
Iíve done everything in my power
to get you to this position...
and I will not let you throw it all away!
You've lied to me,
l know you lied to Libby...
so forgive me if I don't give
a flying fart what you think.
Libby? I stopped you
from ruining your life.
l saved your family's reputation.
When I found out that girl was pregnant,
l knew I was doing the right thing.
-You knew about Daphne?
-Of course I knew. Itís my job to know.
Are you okay?
l know Daddy's been naughty,
but what about me?
Table six is screaming for coffee.
What're you doing, anyway?
Sorry, it's my college applications,
due on Monday.
Okay, Iíll cover for you.
Ladies and gentlemen...
the bride would like to share a dance
with her father.
Love you, Dad.
What are you doing here?
l just came because...
l have something
very important to say to you...
and I hope I can....
l wrote it all down on the plane...
about times, as you can....
l thought I had it.
What it comes down to...
is that I love you, Daphne.
l love you, and that Iím so sorry.
l wouldn't change anything about you.
l wouldn't change one hair on your head.
-Not for anything--
-l love you, Dad.
l love you.
Might I have the honor of this dance?
Listen, Daphne, l....
l think when you're groveling, it's
important to bring a very large present.
l don't understand.
May I cut in?
l tried to call you.
You never did want me to go, did you?
There never was anyone else, was there?
Iíd say I owe you a rather large apology.
You think Iíve waited years
for an apology?
So I finally got my father-daughter dance.
Of course, it got interrupted
when my boyfriend showed up.
And then my parents started making out.
But sometimes, things aren't
exactly how you always imagined.
They're even better.
Just in case you were wondering
what happened to Clarissa and Glynnis...
They ended up exactly as they should.
So did Alistair.
l can see the smiles on your faces.
For those who speak English,
it is not the name of a large hamburger.
This is the closest
he ever got to Parliament.
My parents got married again.
This time, it was legal.
As for me, I didn't end up at NYU.
But before you get too disappointed,
l did get in to Oxford.
What can I say?
Like father like daughter.
It was my own happily ever after.