Voila! Finally, the Willard
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Crispin Glover rats
movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Willard. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Willard, there are rats in the basement.
Willard, what are you doing?
I'm going to bed.
It's late.
Yes, I'm going to bed. Good night, mom.
What were you doing down there?
You, eh, said there were rats
Did you see them?
There aren't any rats
There are
two of our neighbors
are moving away and
all these new people
remodeling the house
they are stairing up rats
Well, have you been to the basement?
You know I can't
I know they're there
I can smell them
All my life I could smell mice.
Smell...mice?
yeah, I can hear them.
Don't you hear them down there?
It's...it's just the wind.
There aren't any rats.
Come in here
mm?
Come in here
I'm sorry I've been such
a bad mother to you.
Well, you've been...
you are a wonderful mother.
It's my fault your life was waste.
Willard
What an awful name - Willard
If you have a stronger name,
that Frank Martin wouldn't push you around
Well may be find you a
girlfriend it would work
handsome name Mark
Gail
Clark
Willard
From now on your name is Clark
Good night, Clark
Pardon me...
Is that you?
Sorry, they told me to sit here
Willard, he wants to see you
Oh, well, em...
Ms. Leach...
it seems that... someone...
this girl is sitting at my desk
Maybe that's why
he wants to see you
Yea
Who's at your desk out there, Willard?
I don't know her.
Sit.
Who did you say that was at
your desk out there, Willard?
I don't know her.
Well you should know,
because it's your fault she's there
You're falling a place to way
behind processing the purchase orders
You know when they happen, Willard,
everything comes to a standstill.
My sales people up on the floor,
shipping, receiving, inventory,
everybody is standing around with
their thumbs up your ass
just because you've allowed
the purchase orders
to bottleneck at your desk.
Your father built this company,
Willard.
Hell, your family name is still
out there on the side of the building...
Martin Stiles Manufacturing.
It seems to me like,
that alone will make you take up
on more pride in your work.
Well, my mother is...eh...sick
I see. So
It's your mother's fault
that you're falling behind.
Willard, I am an old friend to the family.
Hell, I've known your mother
since before you were born.
She's a fine lady,
and she deserves to be kept comfortable
Your dad was like a father to me
And I promised him that I would
always look after you and your mother.
And as long as she was alive,
you'd have a job right here.
And I'm keeping with that promise.
I must insist,
that you find a good rest
care facility for mom.
We can't afford that.
I guess you could always
sell the house.
Here is an idea,
I'll tear it down and build a park myself
I'm sorry. Mr. Martin, I'll catch up,
I'll stay late
Oh yeah, you would love that,
wouldn't you, Willard?
Suck up on more overtime than
it even costs me for a temp
You'll catch up all right, asshole
and you'll catch up on
your own damn time
There's one thing that you'll
never understand, Willard...
Business is a rat race,
promises or no promises
I'll not allow myself
to be depowered
by all of those other
rats because of you.
God.
What is it, what is it?
It's okay, it's okay
What was all that noise?
(Mom knocking on door saying) Rat?
No, a bird.
It got stuck in the house somehow
and I let it out, it's all right now
So go back to bed
What are doing in there?
Going party.
You've been in there a long time
I'm not feeling well, mom
Is it loose or hurt?
I'm okay, I'm okay.
So, just go to bed.
Let me see,
I'm still your mother.
Clark, Clark.
You should be in bed.
You're feverish.
I get afraid, Clark.
Your father was in that
bathroom late that night.
I know. I'm never
go to do anything like that.
What is that on your hand?
It's... soap.
It's cooking oil!
Oh, Willard,
you're too old for that.
When would you find yourself a girl?
Infant
Getting copped and trapped
you seem pretty...smart
You should be called Socrates.
Socrates.
Well, where are you going?
Bye Socrates. Say hello to your family.
You're united. brothers and sisters and love...love
look, everybody, food, food for everybody
here you go, very good.
bye
Socrates, I would never let
anyone hurt you ever, I promise.
I promise, promise
Martin, why do I have to cover
your damn car everyday
Cover my car, cover my car, eh.
Do you like my new S Willard?
My new car, my new Mercedes,
I saw you drooling over it.
Oh, yes...eh, Mr. Martin. It's eh...
Do you why know I have that car?
I'm driving that horsepower
V masterpiece for you,
and your fellow employees.
See, buyers feel a sense of security when they can
receive proof that they're dealing with a successful man
So when I whip into to that parking lot behind
the wheel of my brand new Mercedes AMG class,
they're buying from us over
the slob and the Jaguar S-type
Do you know why I can afford
to plug down bucks
for that legend of the competition horse?
Because I'm a successful man!
Because I've never been late
to my work a single day of my life!
Because when I come to work,
I don't show up in one
of my dead father's cheap suits!
Because I've never given
my boss such grief
Maybe it won't hurt you to
find out what pleases me.
Are you okay?
Hi, Socrates.
in a bad time
Tear it, Socrates.
All right.
You teach them.
They'll listen to you, Socrates.
Tear it
Tear it
Tear it up
Geese
You're big. Big. Big Ben.
Do you know him, Socrates?
Ben
This looks like the beginning
of a beautiful friendship
Tear it
Tear it
Tear it
Okay, here a good example, very good.
speed, speed, very good.
roll, up
Tear it, you go down there,
go on now
Down, down, tear it
In!
Still!
Out!
One week. You've been late for so
many hours it equals an entire week.
Mr. Martin... I'm sorry
I want my week back!
I've discussed it with counsel...
I may not be able to fire you,
but by God, it's well within my right
to administer fiscal disciplinary reprimand.
I know that you must
be tired of this excuse
But what can I do,
my mother is sick
You don't give a shit about your mother
If you did,
you'll jog for work on time
because now look what's happened
You're out a week's pay
Oh, you don't like that, then quit.
Act like a man for once
in your life and just quit.
You're a slimy puky piece of shit.
You wouldn't make a pebble
on my grandmother's tooth.
Hello?
In
In
No
Ben, No.
If you get in,
nobody will be able to fit.
In
Be careful, Tootsie,
we're not taking our bed here.
All available units,
please respond immediately,
in progress, Glensian Parkway.
Out.
Door
Tear it
Tires
Tear it.
Ben!
I've told you to stay.
Hee. You won't fit.
(sound of tire bursting)
What the hell is that?
You've left the washer in the
garage running again, didn't you?
Is anybody out there?
Someone out there in the garage?
Oh, shit, look at that.
Somebody got in and
slashed my tires, damn!
Who's out here?
Yeah, you'd better run
You don't ruin a man's
brand new car like that
Run and you'll only die tired
someone's get you
You're a dead meat.
Go away
Go home.
You want to see what's in the bag,
you stupid little dog?
All four of his tires.
Do you know what a set of those tires run?
Insurance will cover it.
Insurance won't cover how
pissed off he's gonna be
heh heh heh
Hey, what...what...what's up?
Someone broke into Martin's
garage last night
Slashed his tires
and peed on the floor
ha ha ha
Good morning, Cath.
You look very nice today.
Well, someone urinated on the floor?
No, you know what happened?
When Martin goes into
his garage and sees his tires,
He pissed his pants.
Blamed it on the guy that did it.
Do you think that's funny, Fox?
Good morning, Mr. Martin.
Is everything okay?
No, everything is not okay.
How would you like it if some
maniac can pay the privacy of your home
and scared the shit
out of your wife?
And then you had to
lose an entire night of sleep
because you're dealing with cops
knowing that sicko had control over you
and your family's peace of mind?
Jesus, for how long it will last?
No, I'm not all right!
I rode the subway.
Well, Mr. Fox,
how would you like that?
No. Sir, I wouldn't
like that at all.
I didn't think you would.
Barbara, I need a foot massage.
It's so good, it's so good.
Food
We, em.
We're running out of room.
I'm sorry about this but...
I can't feed you anymore,
I can't afford it.
We're going to have to find
another place to live.
We'll find somewhere more comfortable
I wished I didn't have to but all
good things must come to and end.
Follow Ben,
He will find a new place for you.
He will take care of you.
Won't you, Ben?
You're the leader,
after Socrates.
Good night, Ben.
You're not going anywhere, Socrates.
You'll always be with me.
I hate everyone but you
That's good or bad.
Ben, I've told you you can't come upstairs.
Now it's only Socrates, not you.
Sweet little Jesus. I know.
Don't' you touch me!
You're getting rid of me!
Mom, I love you.
I've heard you,
"all good things must come to an end".
I love you more than
anything in the world.
You don't love me,
you won't feed me
I hate you
You need to go to the hospital.
What if mom sees you?
Mom?
Mom?
Down. Down. Get in the basement!
Down. Get in the basement, now!
Do you think you're funny?
Do you think you're smart?
Socrates, he's smart. He knows,
they'll come and take her away.
And they'll come and take me away...
and then they'll come and take you away.
She's my mother. I love her.
And I miss her.
I already miss her.
But Socrates, if you ever die, I,
You're the only friend I've ever had
Well, at least,
you're with father again.
I have a friend
See, he wants to say goodbye to mother,
say goodby, Socrates.
That's good.
Willard
Willard, are you all right?
Yeah
I didn't mean to upset you.
You didn't have to come here.
We didn't hear from you.
I wanted to make sure that you're okay.
I want to let you know, Willard
You have a friend.
Mr. Stiles, I'm Joseph Carters.
I'm an attorney with Montgomery Bank
the trustees of your mother's estate
I've been trying to reach you
but you don't answer the phone
May I have a moment alone
with him, please?
Do you mind I if check on you after work,
to make sure you're okay?
Thanks, that's okay. I'll be okay
Willard, I have some news I don't know
if you're aware of your parents' worth.
Your parents had been living an account
they originally set up for your future
It was intended to be yours
upon their passing.
However, your father's death left debts that even
Mr. Martin's buyout did not completely relief.
In fact, there remains pending
litigation on some unsettled debts.
Well, it's still my house.
Your mother refinanced the
house after your father's death.
In fact, we still owe...
We? It's my house!
We can declare bankruptcy,
we can sell the house.
It's my house.
Yes, of course,
you grew up there at your home,
but it's the bank's house.
It's my house.
There's no need for a single man to live in
such a large house, Willard. Sell it.
Why do I have to pay for
things that my parents did?
The money can help you start over.
Start over? I'm almost done.
Willard, look, you have no choice.
If I have choice,
why did you even come here?
Why did you even bother telling me?
You can't tell people that they
don't have control over their lives
that I have no money,
no home, and it's not even my fault.
Willard, this is not the time nor place.
You think about it,
then please you have to contact me.
This is the only chance you have
to take control of your own life.
Thank you.
Socrates
Ben
Willard, it's Cathryn,
answer the door.
I saw you walk in.
Hello. Hi.
I'm just on my way out.
I've some stuff
I have to do at the cemetery.
Well, this might not be
the best time, Willard.
But please don't
take it the wrong way.
You looked so lonely
at your mother's service.
I remember how devastated
I was when my mother died.
The only thing that
helped me through was...
...her mother.
This is Scully. She'll make a great friend
and she'll keep you company.
I don't know what to say,
I can't accept Scully.
See? She likes you.
-I, I...
-Why don't you hold her?
Just take her, just hold her.
Really, I can't. I'm sorry.
-Just take her.
-Okay.
Well. I'm really late.
Do you think it's okay
if I just put her inside?
-Sure. She's potty-trained.
-Oh, good.
(Cat switched on the remote control of the TV,
and easy listening music begins playing on TV...)
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own,
I'd never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me
I used to say
I am me
Now it's us, now it's we.
I used to say, I am me
Now it's us, now it's we
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think
again if they had
a friend like Ben, like Ben
like Ben
like Ben
Socrates
It's okay. Yes.
I wasn't...
really trying to hurt him
I know, you're trying
to keep the peace.
But, he has to learn,
I am the boss!
So it's back to work, Socrates.
(He's coming)
Ben, out
Okay, Ben.
Just because Socrates
said it's okay.
Am I reading this correctly?
Mr. Stiles - It is our regret to inform you,
your position has been terminated.
Enclosed please find
two week's severance.
Your service is appreciated.
Frank Martin.
He's firing you.
But I thought he couldn't fire you.
Willard.
Hey. Hey!
This whole thing is just
one big misunderstanding
I'll make it up to you though.
I'm going to take you
to the Jets-Dolphins game.
How does that sound?
What?
It feels like his office could
use a little holiday's cheer.
Cathryn, go take out
the Christmas decoration.
They're in the back storeroom.
keys in Willard's desk somewhere
Talk it over with
Rosie and let me know.
I'll be right here in the office
working late tonight
Christmas bonus time, you know.
Mrs. Leach, found the keys.
But, you can dig it out
your own holiday cheers
and you can shove it up your ass
with a big ho-ho-ho.
-I quit.
-Bye bye.
How could you?
What part of "you're fired"
don't you understand?
-My father
-is dead
Been dead.
Now your mama is dead too.
-He started this company, it's my family's company.
-No. My company, been my company,
and I don't want
you around it anymore.
Why in the hell are
you even still here?
You hate it here,
and I hate you being here.
You're going nowhere here.
Mommy and daddy are dead.
Get over it and get on with your life.
The terms of your purchase compact, -tract,
strictly state that you're
not allowed to sell...
Sue me. Get you a goddamn
lawyer and sue me, you'll win.
Go down today and hire yourself
a $ -an-hour lawyer, sue me.
My $ -an-hour lawyer will tie it
up in the court until I die.
So, what, years from now,
you'll win.
You know I cannot afford that,
you know that
Need money,
make me an offer on the house.
Don't give me that face, Willard.
I buy the house, you have money.
You can go buy yourself
a very nice clean used car.
Move some place where you'll be happy.
Get a job, a girlfriend.
Gee, you'll be so damn happy
you won't even want to sue me.
All right.
I'll sell you the house.
But please, please,
Please let me keep my job.
Please, please
let me keep my job, please.
What in the hell is going on now?
A rat, a rat, right in here!
It's a rat! Oh god!
There's a white rat. And it's this size
and it's dark and I mean huge dark.
over there behind that Christmas light.
See him?
-Where? I don't see any mouse
-No, up there you idiot
Up there!
-I think your wild ass imagination's kind of get in the way with you
-He's up higher
There it is!
Walt, this is Mickey coming to join you!
What's the matter, tiger,
can't take a little blood?
Ha ha ha, find your keepers
Nice work, Mr. Martin.
Good one sir
He expects me to clean that up?
-I'll do it.
-Thank you.
What could I do?
What could I do?
What could I do?
What could I do?
What could I do?
What could I do? What could I do?
What can I do?
What can we do?
In!
In!
That's it. Can't fit any more.
The rest of you,
are going to have to wait here.
Ben and I,
will be back later.
Right, Ben?
Oh! Jesus!
I like that.
I'm going to get you, mek mek.
-Oh my god, look at all the rats!
-Yes
Look...at the rats!
-We've come to see you.
-We?
-They'll do anything I tell them.
-Well then tell them to get the fuck out of my office!
-Sit down.
-Thank you for this, the meat verges
-Sit down!
-What the hell is wrong with you?
-Mr. Martin. You stole this business from my father
It killed him
And it killed my mother
And now you're trying to kill me
-No, that's not...
-You never let me alone for a minute
You've made a fool of me
in front of everybody
And now you're trying to take my house
You made me hate myself
I thought a lot about it.
Hating myself
or right now
this moment
I like myself
You!
killed Socrates!
Who the hell is Socrates?
He was the only friend I've ever hadŁĄ
Ah! Ah!
What's the matter, tiger?
Are you afraid of a little blood?
Ah, oh, oh, ah...
Tear him up!
Ah...
Good-bye, Ben.
Ah...ah...
Food! Food!
-I think I hear footsteps
-Yeah
-Let's look around the back
-Okay
Willard, it's Cathryn!
I've been calling you all day.
Did you hear?
Martin's dead.
They called from the office.
The details are weird
all kinds of rumors that he was murdered,
or attacked by animals.
I'm hungry.
Could we get something to eat?
Right now?
Let me get my coat.
Just a second.
Could I use your restroom?
Cathryn?
In here.
Sorry. I had to go so bad
and you feel lost somewhere.
We need to go.
Shit! I must have
run over something.
-Are you sure that's him?
-Yeah.
I know it's him.
Get in the car.
I'll call AAA.
I've got a cell phone.
Mr. Stiles. Police.
Open the door, please. sir.
Can you please tell
me what this is about?
Willard!
Open the door, Willard!
I want to help you!
Willard!
Willard! Open the door!
Willard! Let me in!
What's going on in there?
I hear him going around the back.
Ouch!
Stiles!
Stiles!
I'm sorry, Ben.
I'm sorry that I left you.
I got scared, and the,
so I came back here.
It's all over, Ben.
You can live anywhere.
You can go anywhere!
I have nowhere!
Who's he talking to?
There's nothing that I
could do without Socrates.
But
But we got him back,
we got Mr. Martin back together.
This guy's nut.
We should just call Belevere.
It's all over, Ben
So just go.
Go away
Wo, it's just not Belfy, we've got to call the
Health Dept of Exterminators. Did you see that?
Man! Let's go!
Do you want some food?
I can give you some food, Ben
I'd give you all the food
I have of you'd just go away
Do you want food?
Now, now, look at it, it's food
It's just food.
Whatever food that's
in the bag, is yours.
That's it for you, Ben!
I hate you!
I love Socrates but I hate you!
set of food is,
it's a like thousand rats
Mam, you want to get equalized?
Martin!
Ah!
The phone: If you want to make a call,
please hang up and try again.
If you need help,
hang up and then dial the operator.
Cathryn! Help!
Help!
Cathryn!
Cathryn!
Ben!
I thought we were friends.
Ah!
Ah...ah
Food's here!
Food!
Look, Stiles. You've got to eat.
You might be out of your mind,
but your body's staying here.
Eat!
We've got some nice chicken,
some mash potatoes,
El Salvador roll.
Hey look we have a piece of cheese.
That's what the mice eat, isn't it?
Okay, rat boy.
Look, I'm going to leave it here.
You can do whatever you what.
Hi!
I know you're hungry.
But we have to wait
Our time will come.
Let's not let them
know you've come back.
We have to sit here and wait.
Wait...
...quietly
quiet as a mouse.