You can never have too much pudding.

I can think of few romantic comedies in which the main characters have a loving exchange like this:

Barry: I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it. I just wanna f*ckin' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it. You're so pretty.

Lena: I want to chew your face, and I want to scoop out your eyes and I want to eat them and chew them and suck on them.

And they say romance is dead.

That scene is sort of like the Marvin getting shot in Pulp scene. Either you're cracking up and loving every minute of it, or you're grimacing in horror, praying for the movie to end as soon as humanly possible. In my book, both scenes are the epitome of hilarity.

Alas, once again I stray from what my point was to begin with. Oh yeah, it's that there's a supercool Pudding Dash online where you race around collecting Healthy Choice pudding and avoiding thugs with bats who you can run over once you take your angry pill, all while the Shelley Duvall "He Needs Me" theme plays in the background.

I kid you not. See for yourself. And if anybody looks over your shoulder and thinks you're nuts, just give 'em the ole Barry excuse of "I didn't ask for a shrink - that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't mine. Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don't have a crying problem." Works like a charm every time.

posted by drew on 9/29/2003

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