Shouldn't he also thank the director of Dragonheart?
So, according to the IMDB, Dennis Quaid has 'fessed up to sashaying up to Russell Crowe and thanking Crowe for humiliating him. You know, for sleeping with his then-wife, Meg Ryan. I have a sneaking suspicion this public gratitude occurred after Quaid saw In The Cut. Well, kudos to you Dennis, you have shown me the way towards enlightment and forgiveness.
And in this spirit of this enlightment, I would like to thank Jimmy Perretti, who pulled down my shorts in front of everybody in my fourth grade gym class. Because, really, is it ever too early to learn body shame? Sure, I break out in hives whenever I pass near a gym or school now, and now I still can't get naked without taking some major sedatives or acupuncture, but it's a small price to pay for the valuable lesson.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to thank my best friend Richie for teaching me Mickey Rourke's "Diner" method of wooing the ladies in a movie theater. Because that worked out real well, lemme tell ya.
posted by drew on 1/30/2004
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