Ong bak, and to the left. Ong BAK, and to the LEFT.

I originally posted this two days ago on Tagline, but since some of you lazy sods informed you shan't be bothered with the arduous task of clicking on a link, here's the post in its entirety. Who's a better enabler than yours truly?

You think Jet Li kicks much ass?

He's a wussy.

You declare Jackie Chan's the master of the martial arts?

You're trapped in 1982.

You proclaim Sean William Scott the new action king?

I think I hear your mom calling, she wants to know if whether you want your birthday cake decorated with Pikachu like last year, or with Tinky-Winky on it, like two years ago.

I hereby decree that the new king of delivering industrial-sized cans
of whupass is Phanom Yeerum (aka Tony Jaa), the star of the Thai film
Ong Bak (aka Mach). Because making grandious declarations is mighty
fun. Don't believe me? Just look at that above quote from the New
York Times! Really, look at it.

Okay, so I have no idea what that quote from the Times actually says.
It could say "Hey, have you seen that movie Shattered Glass? Maybe
you could get off our asses and go pick on The New Republic a bit.
That Stephen Glass sure is a whiny little bitch."

But since they're using it to open their glorious
Quicktime trailer
, I'll assume it says something wonderful
about this flick. The trailer certainly wets my whistle, go see for
yourself. Fight Club-esque gatherings to cheer and throw coinage
after the pounding of a human being? Check. Leaping over
and running on top of the shoulders of a gang of
baddies, all sans wires and tired CG? Check. Breaking glass, lots of
mid-air flips and bone-crushing blows that make you cringe? Check.
And of course, sliding under cars, jumping through various hoops and
between panes of glass, and delivering kicks whilst his feet are
aflame are all on the agenda. On a side note, I once ordered Pad Thai
from the local Thai joint that set my feet aflame. Word to the wise:
don't be a big shot and try to impress somebody by ordering "spicy" at
a Thai joint.

So, after watching the trailer, I pose this question to you:

How can you not question the existence of a higher power when DMX
(whose actual name is Huffy) is widely known as an action hero but
when you ask 99.9% of humanity if they dig Phanom Yeerum, they think
you're talking about a Star Wars flick?

Related tune: Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas (mp3 via

posted by drew on 7/28/2004

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Obviously, I'm not trying to re-invent the movie blog wheel here. I'm just never lacking in opinions about movies, pop culture, news, and other assorted hoohah. And my mailman has put a restraining order on me, so here's my place to vent.

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