PSA: Stalking Celebs Is Nothing To Be Snarky About....

...except when the snark is executed by a trained professional like myself. I beg you, for your own safety, please don't try this at home.

Confession: I've been thinking about this Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta-Jones stalking trial. A lot. And I've got this creeping suspicion that I've seen this all before somewhere. Here are the facts of the case, as I know 'em.

1. This lady was obsessed with Michael Douglas.
2. "She crazy," to use the parlance of the times.
3. Michael Douglas was turned off by her insanity, to say the least.
4. Crazy lady then attempts to contact Michael Douglas' wife multiple times.
5. Michael Douglas keeps this a secret from her for two years.
6. Michael Douglas finally sits wife down and tells her about crazy lady when he realizes wife's life is truly in danger.
7. Crazy lady attempts suicide.

So my $64,000 question of the day is this:

How soon until it comes out that Michael Douglas actually wound up making crazed monkey love with this woman in the kitchen sink and in the elevator before she went off her rocker?

I'm just sayin'.

Related tune: Fatal Attraction by Punchline (Real Audio via

posted by drew on 7/31/2004

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