I got a letter from the government the other day.
I opened up and read it, and said they were suckas.
Sorry, got possessed by Chuck D for a sec. But lo and behold, it's mailbag day!
Yup, since I'm a benevolent soul and spend countless hours answering various movie questions to me posed via e-mail and Instant Messenger, I figured it would be both wise and generous to impart my wisdom on a larger audience than just the inquiree. And don't worry, I change their names and fix their glaring typos as to protect their anonymity and self-esteem.
Drew! You gotta help me! I saw this commercial at the movies today, and it had all these chicks playing tennis, and then they all turned into Serena Williams. And there was this song playing...I can't remember the words, but it was a girl and I know I love it from some movie. It's killin' me, man!
Aha! I know the commercial from whence you speak. That would a Nike ad, and the groovy tune you're talking about is He Needs Me by Shelley Duvall. I'm thinking you probably know it from P.T. Anderson's Punch-Drunk Love. But it's actually from the 1980 fiasco known as Robert Altman's Popeye. Isn't it bizarre that one of the worst actresses of all time (I was rooting for the bat, not Wendy) in one of the worst movies of all time (single-handedly killed the musical for eons) wound up singing a catchy song that would be used over 20 years later? Check it:
He Needs Me (Real Audio via damienfree.fr.free.fr)
He Needs Me Video from Popeye (Windows Media via The Hollis Site)
Where's Freddie Prinze Jr.? I haven't seen him in years, bro! What up with that?
R.L. Cook, Los Angeles
It hasn't been putting the lotion in the basket, so its been getting the hose of late. It better start playing by my rules if it ever wants to see the light of day. If all goes according to plan, it will soon have Jason Biggs to keep it company.
I'm tired of all this Brown Bunny bashing. Maybe you guys should wait before you see the movie before going to town on it. You snarky bastards are just playing pile-on Vincent Gallo because he's such an easy target. C'mon, tell me in three words why you think Brown Bunny is such a cinematic crime, jerk.
Chloe Sevigny sucks.
Are you ever going to get tired of using that line?
Cleo, San Quentin.
Dear Mr. Drew,
Can you please post some Brown Bunny pictures? I'm a sad man and I don't have much else. I've thought of nothing else since they took that billboard down. I'm begging you!
R. Howard, Los Angeles.
Sigh. You sick, sick man. But who am I to judge your twisted soul? You want Brown Bunny pics, you've got 'em. Here. Here. Here. Now go get help, my child.
Here endeth the mailbag day. If you've got any questions you want to shoot my way, just drop me a line at email@example.com or shoot me an IM on that antichrist AOL Messenger (screen name: scriptorama) and maybe, must maybe, I shall answer your question on the bloggerino! Unless I don't know the answer, that is. Then I'll probably just ignore it. And remember, in the immortal words of Jules Winfield, "If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions."
Related tune: Please Mr. Postman by The Marvelettes (mp3 via austincolledge.edu)
posted by drew on 8/14/2004
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