Meet the new Poseidon, same as the old Poseidon.

Help!  I'm gonna get squished by Lolita's mom!So, just finished watching the new Poseidon trailer (Quicktime), and to tell you the didn't do anything for me. Seems pretty much like the 70's one: big boat, "big" stars, big wave, yadda yadda. Talk about a movie that really didn't need to get made again; seems like it was just last week that Steve Guttenberg and C. Thomas Howell were on a ship doing the same herky jerky on the small screen.

What's the process of getting the rights to this flick, anyway? Buy one dozen donuts, get a free crueller and the rights to "pimp my Poseidon?" Between the original flick, Titanic, and Perfect Storm (also by Wolfgang, the lazy bastard), it's safe to say the nautical "star"-studded disaster movie should have officially been given a burial at sea years ago. Or, to be oh-so-cute, perhaps whoever conceived of this remake should had taken a "morning after" pill instead.

I just realized I may be coming off a tad jaded here, so here's a positive thing I noticed during this trailer:

I had no idea that Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas was on this! I can only pray that she sings "My Humps". I can just picture it now...


Fergie is singing on stage in front of a large crowd that
is DESPERATELY trying to keep their lobster bisque down.

...tryin a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If u touch it I'm-

Fergie SHRIEKS in horror as a massive wave SLAMS into the ship.
From out of nowhere, a huge Christmas tree CRUSHES her.

(barely audible)
My only regret in life is that I
did not refer to my humps as much
as I would have liked to.


I'd pay good money to see that.

Related tune: The Morning After by Maureen McGovern (Real Audio via

posted by drew on 12/14/2005

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