I wish I could quit used clothes!

This smells not unlike Donnie Darko!If you're one of those Brokeback Mountain fans who obsessively collects all things BM related and you've got an extra $30,000 laying around the house, have I got news for you! Variety, The Children's Charity, is holding a charity auction on eBay (via)for the real shirts worn by Health & Jake during the "summer winter lovin'" part of the flick. You know, the two shirts, hanging as one in the closet (ahem) at the end of the movie? Now they can hang proudly in your own closet, with the original stains in 'em and everything. Don't worry, if you don't have an extra $30,000 laying around the house, I hear that you can live a pretty decent life with just one kidney. Personally, I plan to buy the shirts so I can wear 'em, maybe play some dress 'up, and put on a little play for my class. Here's a sneak preview of the dialogue, 'specially for you:

Jack: Man, oh man, do your beans suck.

Ennis: Not as much as your harmonica playing, bro!

Jack: Bite me. You know who I hate? Our boss.

Ennis: Me too. I'm tired of him giving us the stinkeye.

Jack: You know, he kind of looks like Cousin Eddie to me if you squint right.

Ennis: Who?

Jack: Cousin Eddie! Does the movie Vacation ring a bell?

Ennis: Dude, it's like, 1962.

Jack: Oops, my bad. Hey, I'm bored. Wanna stem the rose?

Ennis: I have no idea what that expression means.

Jack: You'll like it. Trust me on this.

Ennis: Would it make me queer? Cuz I ain't no queer.

Jack: Certainly not.

They proceed to engage in some rough, passionate rose stemming.

Randy Quaid: I knew it! On a totally unrelated note, do you boys have any Hamburger Helper?


I'll have to show this to my buddy Max Fischer...I'm sure he'll deem it worthy enough to be performed by his players!

Related tune: Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys by Willie Nelson and Matchbox 20 (real audio via aol)

posted by drew on 2/15/2006

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